Sex Toys/Vibrators


Question
QUESTION: Hi Domina, this follow-up question is on a separate subject so I'm giving this a new title.

My question is what vibrator (one or two or so) would you recommend my gf and I try? Neither of us has used a vibrator. I'm in my 50s and she's about 20 years younger.

1. Vibrator for my girlfriend. My gf has the most intense orgasms I've ever seen, and she can have another orgasm after waiting about 30 minutes... for many times a day. She enjoys orgasms from clitoral stimulation, from g-spot stimulation, and simultaneous stimulation of both areas.

She can enjoy stimulation for quite some time before experiencing the orgasm.

What type of vibrators do you recommend I buy to provide new sensations for her... both during "foreplay" and near and/or at orgasm?

2. Vibrator(s) to provide me more stimulation.

For many years I've suffered from Peyronie's Disease. It is irreversible. The main physiological problems stem from this: "In Peyronie's disease, fibrous scar tissue (fibrosis) develops under the skin of the penis."

This results in a shortening of the penis. Also, my penis is so insensitive to sensations that I usually can't tell if I'm erect (my maximum is about 70% erect) or not erect at all.

This lack of sensitivity of my penis makes it much more difficult for me to orgasm than would otherwise be the case. So... I'm dealing with extreme 'delayed ejaculation' rather than the much more common premature ejaculation.

This past weekend we did discover that the head of my penis has more sensitivity than I'd thought, but it requires a type of pinching for me to feel it a lot.

Given this, what do you recommend for me in terms of a vibrator or anything else that might provide me more and different sensations I can enjoy and that could lead to my having orgasms a higher percentage of the time than I otherwise have? I think stimulation of the penis head will help, but there may be other stimulations... even of the anus (something I've never tried) that may also help provide excitation leading to orgasm for me.

3. A vibrator that could stimulate both my gf and I simultaneously would be great. Since she enjoys both clitoral and g-spot orgasms, this may give us some good opportunities.

Thanks so much, Domina!

ANSWER: Hi Paul,

Always a pleasure to help!
My answers below >>

1. Vibrator for my girlfriend. My gf has the most intense orgasms I've ever seen, and she can have another orgasm after waiting about 30 minutes... for many times a day. She enjoys orgasms from clitoral stimulation, from g-spot stimulation, and simultaneous stimulation of both areas.

She can enjoy stimulation for quite some time before experiencing the orgasm.

What type of vibrators do you recommend I buy to provide new sensations for her... both during "foreplay" and near and/or at orgasm?

>> Does you GF have a vibrator currently?  I ask because she may have certain preferences. What one woman may like and works well for them, may be different for another women. However, having said that, I don't know any woman who doesn't like a wand massager. These are amazing for multiple orgasms, and your GF may find that she can have an orgasm quite soon after her first with a wand vibrator.  They are much stronger that normal types of vibes.  Another great thing about a wand vibrator (also called body massagers) is that you can get them with several attachments.  Wands only stimulate the clitoris and vulva and external erogenous zones, where as you can get attachments so they can also stimulate the G spot or internally. They tend to be a bit more expensive than regular vibes, but last much longer, are durable, plug in so never loose intensity and are very strong.  They are always my go to toys.

2. Vibrator(s) to provide me more stimulation.

For many years I've suffered from Peyronie's Disease. It is irreversible. The main physiological problems stem from this: "In Peyronie's disease, fibrous scar tissue (fibrosis) develops under the skin of the penis."

This results in a shortening of the penis. Also, my penis is so insensitive to sensations that I usually can't tell if I'm erect (my maximum is about 70% erect) or not erect at all.

This lack of sensitivity of my penis makes it much more difficult for me to orgasm than would otherwise be the case. So... I'm dealing with extreme 'delayed ejaculation' rather than the much more common premature ejaculation.

This past weekend we did discover that the head of my penis has more sensitivity than I'd thought, but it requires a type of pinching for me to feel it a lot.

Given this, what do you recommend for me in terms of a vibrator or anything else that might provide me more and different sensations I can enjoy and that could lead to my having orgasms a higher percentage of the time than I otherwise have? I think stimulation of the penis head will help, but there may be other stimulations... even of the anus (something I've never tried) that may also help provide excitation leading to orgasm for me.

>> Again a body wand would give you maximum sensation, compared to other types of vibrators. You press the head of the massager against your hand when you masturbate and it sends the sensations up into the penis or penis head. You may even be able to use it directly, given your loss of sensation.  

Other things to try would be a tingling gel (or arousal gel) like MaxO, or something similar.  This helps bring the blood to the surface of the genitals and creates more arousal, as well as an erotic tingling sensation.  I think this would definitely help give you more sensation.

Another thing you could try is electroplay. These toys use currents to tingle inside the skin, kind of like an erotic "crawling" sensation, and this type of sensation may go deeper for you, so given the type of scarring you have, may give you more arousal.  Before you get into this type of play I would read up on it more though, as it is not for everyone. It is the type of toy that should also not be overused (high voltages, or for prolonged periods of time) because you don't want to do the opposite and cause nerve damage.  But used a low voltages, these toys are fairly safe, when used with common sense.

Anal Play would be a great thing for you to try with your GF.  As you know the male prostate is up inside the anus, and for most men, massaging that area leads to bigger, better, more prolonged and powerful orgasms. The best way to explore this area to see if you would like it is with fingers.  Actually, massaging the perineum (the area between the scrotum & the anus) from the outside can stimulate the prostate as well. So that's usually where I would start, maybe during oral sex with a partner. And, as you massage that area you begin to press deeper (or I let my partner press down on my fingers) as I rub.  Then if you like that you could try anally.  For this she should use gloves and it is best to have nails cut short and use lots of lube.  And just go slow.  Do a "rosebud" massage first to warm you up, and then insert just the head of her finger, and allow you to take more as you like it.  Inside, once she is in there, she should feel the prostate, a hard ball of nerve endings located towards the front of the body or pelvis. And just lightly stroke that until you want harder stimulation.

If you enjoyed this then you could invest in a prostate toy like the Aneros, or one with vibration as well, and I think you would enjoy those if you found anal stimulation was arousing.  So that is definitely an area worth exploring.

3. A vibrator that could stimulate both my gf and I simultaneously would be great. Since she enjoys both clitoral and g-spot orgasms, this may give us some good opportunities.

>> Yes, again I would say a body wand massager.  More power, plus if you get the attachments you can get one for G spot and one for anal for yourself.  Plus the massager can be used on your penis, scrotum, and other parts of your bodies that you find arousing, like nipples etc.

I would not recommend the We-vibe although it is raved about as the world's best couple's vibe.  I found it very weak and didn't really live up to its reputation, plus very limiting in what it can do.  A body massager is the way to go.

Hope that helped!

If you need any more info let me know.  Always a pleasure!

Thanks,
Domina

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Domina, thanks so much for your help. I've had the ED challenge for about 10 years and had given up on having a good sex life. Thanks to a wonderful, patient gf and to the information you've given me,  my sex life is the best it's been since even before ED challenges appeared, and it's only going to get much better!

Follow-up questions:

My online research indicates that the Hitachi Magic Wand seems the most popular and highest-rated (by customers) wand massager. The only consistent "negative" I see is that it's loud. Less noise would be ideal, but the effectiveness of a wand massager is much more important to me than the noise.

a) Is there a wand massager you recommend more highly than the Hitachi for its overall effectiveness, including available attachments?

b) Assuming I like anal stimulation, which accessory do you recommend for that? I'm not seeing an obvious accessory... but
i may not really know what I'm looking for

c) A speed controller attachment for a wand massager seems to make sense. Do you recommend that?

d) If we were to consider a much quieter wand massager someday (children within listening range), what would you recommend? Would we likely notice a significant decrease in effectiveness of the massager?

Thanks, Domina!

Answer
Hi Paul,

Well, I'm glad I could be a small part in helping you, but I'm sure your GF gets most of the credit!
Your answers below >>

Follow-up questions:

My online research indicates that the Hitachi Magic Wand seems the most popular and highest-rated (by customers) wand massager. The only consistent "negative" I see is that it's loud. Less noise would be ideal, but the effectiveness of a wand massager is much more important to me than the noise.

a) Is there a wand massager you recommend more highly than the Hitachi for its overall effectiveness, including available attachments?

>>That is a hard question, because without a doubt, the Hitachi is the most powerful.  However it does have a few drawbacks. 1, the noise, which really doesn't bother me much but for some people it could be annoying, especially if you had roommates and were trying to be discreet. 2. It is heavy.  I find it hard to hold for a long time. I usually have to rest it on my stomach. Which is why people have invented holding devices for it like Liberator pillows. But those make the Hitachi less versatile. 3. The shape is not ergonomic, so that also makes it awkward to hold. 4. Speed buttons.  The speed button goes from Medium to Off to High.  So if you want to switch between MED >> HIGH, you have to turn it off which can be annoying especially if you are in a certain place leading up to orgasm.

What I would recommend other than the Hitachi, is the Miracle Massager-
http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/Miracle-Massager/sku-CNVELD-SE2089-00?a=popmyc
As you can see by the shape it is ergonomically designed, so comfortable to hold and it is not too heavy for a larger wand massager. Speeds go from Med >> High like they are supposed to. I like the look of it better (I don't know but the Hitachi looks so clinical -- unsexy -- to me). Also, the smooth head is much nicer on this rather than the one of the Hitachi. However, on the highest power it is not quite as powerful as the Hitachi, but it is a very slight difference.  The Miracle Massager also fits the same accessory heads that fit the Hitachi. Either way, both are excellent massagers.

b) Assuming I like anal stimulation, which accessory do you recommend for that? I'm not seeing an obvious accessory... but
i may not really know what I'm looking for

>> The G spotter-
http://shop.popmycherryreview.com/G-Spotter/sku-VTAM277?a=popmycherry
Essentially, any G-spot toy can also be used for P spot play as well, as long as there is a thick base stopping it from going all the way in. The P spot, like the G spot in women is only a few inches inside and can be found with a finger, so this attachment would reach it. Also having a bit of a curve is an advantage as well, as the anus is slightly curved.  If you look at any P spot toys for men (the good ones) like Arenos, you'll see it is curved to hit the P spot better.

c) A speed controller attachment for a wand massager seems to make sense. Do you recommend that?

>>Yes, if you are going to get the Hitachi. It fixes one of the points above and allows for a graduated speed adjustment rather than ON/OFF/ON.

d) If we were to consider a much quieter wand massager someday (children within listening range), what would you recommend? Would we likely notice a significant decrease in effectiveness of the massager?

>>Yes you'd notice a difference in power for sure.  But the Miracle Massager is quite a bit quieter than the Hitachi as well, so may be perfect for you.  Anything quieter than that and you are getting into mini massagers, which can be powerful, but it is more of a buzzy vibe than a deep felt vibe. The Miracle & Hitachi vibrate deep into the tissue, which is why they make great massagers as well.  The smaller massagers like the Maxi Wanachi take batteries, so you've lost a lot of power already loosing the plug in. And, while I like the rechargeable kind, I find they loose their power over time and you never get that first omph back in them. Plus, even on full power they can't compete with the Hitachi. All other plug in massagers (large ones) are just knock offs of the Hitachi and don't quite measure up, except the Miracle Massager.

Hope that helps!

Thanks,
Domina

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Domina

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I am your Personal Pleasure Guide and I can answer questions about any sex toy on the market, including toys for women, men, transgender, bi, gay, lesbian or other. My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure and sex toys for women, including the G-spot, body safe lubricants, sex toy materials, including those to avoid. I also know a lot about men's sex toys include dolls, c-rings, prostate stimulators, anal toys, and masturbators. I have extensive knowledge about bondage and kink toys including proper and safe usage, as well as sex toys for couples and romance products to help spice up and enhance your relationship. In addition to sex toys, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality, the sexual response cycle, and sexual anatomy, so can advise you on the best toys for specific body parts and how to use them for maximum benefit. I have tested numerous sensation and stimulating creams as well, so can advise on these type of products, if they work, how to use them, and what products to avoid. If you are wondering about a product comparison, I can give you my honest opinion on many varieties of a similar toy type, including pros and cons of each. In addition to sex toy questions, I do have a lot of knowledge about human sexuality and relationships as well and have answered questions about open relationships, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. If I don't have the answer myself, I will find it for you, as well as other resources to check out. My G+ Profile is here- https://plus.google.com/u/0/116207828728706505588?rel=author

Experience

As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. For the past 5 years I have honestly reviewed over 1000 sex toy products, including creating a guide to body safe lubes (paraben and glycerin free), written articles on sex toy materials and some known toxins, sex toy safety, glass toys and their safety, Eco-friendly sex toys, sex toys for women, men and couples to share. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sex toy expert.

Organizations
Society for Human Sexuality, San Francisco Club Cal Exotics Xbiz Real Sex Toy Reviews

Publications
PopMyCherryReview.com, Sex Life Canada, BlogHer.com, the Sex Carnival, Whiplash!, SMUT, Divine Caroline, Carnal nation, Good Vibes magazine, Lover Magazine, Broken Pencil, AltSexTalk, Ezine Articles, Real Sex Toy Reviews, Boinkology, Examiner, Vibrator.com, and many more.

Education/Credentials
6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

Awards and Honors
Governor General's Award for the highest GPA

Past/Present Clients
My main emphasis is writing sex educational review of sexuality products for the adult public via my blog and various other publications. I have also written articles and product descriptions for various sex toys shops including Sextoy.com, TabuToys, Pink Cherry, Babeland, Good Vibes, Vibrator.com, MyTickleSpot, as well as numerous specialty shops and manufacturers of quality sex toy products. Manufacturers include Lelo, We-Vibe, Cal Exotics, Pipedreams, Sportsheets, Ruby Glass, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Vibratex, Liberator, Adam & Eve, Dr Laura Berman Intimate Basics, Big Teaze Toys, Tantus and more.

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