Sex Toys/Toys

So my wife  is wonting to try some sex toys she has her mind set up on what kinda you it's a little embracing she wonts to switch places she wonts to get a strap on and fuck me like hand cuff me and make me at her sex slave what I won't to no is is this normal do people do things like this will it hurt me if so how to make it not hurt and will it pleasure me iv Heard of anal stimulation just never tried it

Hello Josh,

Thank you for your question.

There is no "normal" when it comes to sexual preferences.  It all depends on what you and your partner like.  However, there are many men who enjoy having their wives use a strap-on to have anal sex with them.  It is fairly popular and is called pegging.  Also, men have a prostate gland which can be stimulated during anal sex, which for many men is highly arousing and orgasmic.

Anal sex should not hurt if done correctly.  This means you have to let your wife know what is going on while she is doing this for you.  Communication is very important, so tell her how it feels "Yes, keep going," "oh, slow down", etc...

To begin with, go slow and be patient.  This could include various techniques such as "rosebud" massage, anal training with an anal kit, and using her fingers inside you as well (with gloves) before using a strap-on to warm you up.

Also, before you start any anal play, make sure you are very turned on in every other way first, so you are more relaxed, and your sphincter is looser.

Here is an article I wrote on Anal Sex for Beginners.  It has lots of tips, techniques and precautions:

Here is the Warm-up Rosebud Massage Technique that you're wife can try on you:

Warming Up: The Rosebud of Pleasure

Developed by massage therapist and sex educator Joseph Kramer, this is a good way to begin exploring anal pleasure.  First, begin with massaging your buttocks to get the blood flowing.  Try squeezing your cheeks with your fingers, raking your fingernails over your ass, and even slapping it.  Slowly begin to clench and unclench the asshole.  Next, lube your finger very well and rub the pad of you finger around the anal rim, exploring the sensitive rosebud.  Lube up the crack and slide your hand up and down.  Finally, when you feel ready, you can insert a finger inside the sphincter, gently stretching it and massage the silky skin inside.  Make sure to wear gloves for the inside so you don't scratch the delicate tissues inside the anus.


After anal massage, if one finger feels good to you, she could graduate to a small dildo with a strap-on and slowly penetrate you.  She will needs lots of feedback to let her know this feels good for you and if it doesn't get her to stop, and then begin again slowly if you feel okay with that.  Also use lots and lots of lube, the more the better.

The most important thing about anal sex is to take it slow.  So patience is very important and don't let her rush you.  Make this a sexual exploration and play time, and enjoy the experience of that without rushing the end goal.

Here are some Anal Do’s and Don’ts to keep in mind as well:

Anal Do’s

•    Clean yourself and your toys.
•    Use a condom or latex gloves.
•    Trim nails of rough edges.
•    Relax, breath & take it slow.
•    Use lots of lube. I mean lots.
•    Stop if there is pain.
•    Only use toys with a flared base designed for anal play.
•    Use a condom and practice safe sex.

Anal Don’ts

•    Insert toys in the anus then the vagina as it may cause infection.
•    Insert sharp or foreign objects or anything too big.
•    Do it if you really don’t want it.
•    Hurry or force it.
•    Pressure your partner into it if they are not ready.

So, that's a lot of information to get you both started.  Let me know if you have any further concerns or questions and I am happy to answer them for you.  I recommend you share this with your wife as well, so she knows to be slow and cautious when doing this to you.



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I am your Personal Pleasure Guide and I can answer questions about any sex toy on the market, including toys for women, men, transgender, bi, gay, lesbian or other. My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure and sex toys for women, including the G-spot, body safe lubricants, sex toy materials, including those to avoid. I also know a lot about men's sex toys include dolls, c-rings, prostate stimulators, anal toys, and masturbators. I have extensive knowledge about bondage and kink toys including proper and safe usage, as well as sex toys for couples and romance products to help spice up and enhance your relationship. In addition to sex toys, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality, the sexual response cycle, and sexual anatomy, so can advise you on the best toys for specific body parts and how to use them for maximum benefit. I have tested numerous sensation and stimulating creams as well, so can advise on these type of products, if they work, how to use them, and what products to avoid. If you are wondering about a product comparison, I can give you my honest opinion on many varieties of a similar toy type, including pros and cons of each. In addition to sex toy questions, I do have a lot of knowledge about human sexuality and relationships as well and have answered questions about open relationships, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. If I don't have the answer myself, I will find it for you, as well as other resources to check out. My G+ Profile is here-


As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. For the past 5 years I have honestly reviewed over 1000 sex toy products, including creating a guide to body safe lubes (paraben and glycerin free), written articles on sex toy materials and some known toxins, sex toy safety, glass toys and their safety, Eco-friendly sex toys, sex toys for women, men and couples to share. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sex toy expert.

Society for Human Sexuality, San Francisco Club Cal Exotics Xbiz Real Sex Toy Reviews

Publications, Sex Life Canada,, the Sex Carnival, Whiplash!, SMUT, Divine Caroline, Carnal nation, Good Vibes magazine, Lover Magazine, Broken Pencil, AltSexTalk, Ezine Articles, Real Sex Toy Reviews, Boinkology, Examiner,, and many more.

6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

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Governor General's Award for the highest GPA

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My main emphasis is writing sex educational review of sexuality products for the adult public via my blog and various other publications. I have also written articles and product descriptions for various sex toys shops including, TabuToys, Pink Cherry, Babeland, Good Vibes,, MyTickleSpot, as well as numerous specialty shops and manufacturers of quality sex toy products. Manufacturers include Lelo, We-Vibe, Cal Exotics, Pipedreams, Sportsheets, Ruby Glass, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Vibratex, Liberator, Adam & Eve, Dr Laura Berman Intimate Basics, Big Teaze Toys, Tantus and more.

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