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Sex Toys/Getting Turned On

I've got some serious PTSD, and it's really getting in the way of being even remotely interested in sex. I want my husband, who has been very understanding and patient, to feel loved. I'd also really like to enjoy sex again, and I'm trying to find ways to get super turned-on before he gets home from work (but while I'm in public and around others).

I did invest in a medium njoy pure plug, which is nice, but I'm thinking I'd like to find a vibrator or dildo I can leave in vaginally for a few hours. I've never purchased either but know I'd have no problem using something past the 'beginner' stage. (Interested in the rabbits, too.) I just don't have experience with what's best for quality/health/results. I'd love advice on that and any other options!

Oh, I'm a fairly petite chica in all ways applicable (just in case that's helpful).

Thanks for your help! This is a big deal to me and I appreciate any insight!

Hello Jen,

Thank you for your question.

It really depends on what kind of stimulation you want, as there are various types of toys that could be worn throughout the day.

If you want vibration only, you could try a vibrating egg with a retrieval cord.  Eggs are insertable, but won't fill you up like a dildo would.  If you want something for penetration, you could try a hands-free vibrator that straps-on with an insertable part.  Since you mentioned Rabbits, here is a toy that straps in place and that you can wear for a while, has a dildo part and a clitoral stimulator:

Also, you may be interested in a kegel toy.  Most of these are made for doing kegel exercises, however some are made for pleasure as well.

The V1 is fairly expensive.  However it has powerful vibrations and helps you get more orgasmic and turned on, because you work your PC muscle with it.

You also may want to try some stimulating gels, which bring blood to the genital area and make you more aroused as well.  There are ones for clitoral and G-spot-

Also, if you are into erotica, you could try reading some of that before he gets home to stimulate your mind.  Our mind is our biggest "sex" organ, so stimulating that may help you feel more sexual and aroused.  And, before sex with your husband, spend lots of time on foreplay with each other.  The build up of sexual energy will help you get more aroused.  Women take much longer to arouse initially so this may help you as well.  Try some erotic massage together, or oral stimulation, even flirting and heavy kissing/ making out, for at least 30 minutes before you have sex.  You husband sounds very patient, so I'm sure he would love to help you by having lots of foreplay.

Arousal is not like a switch we can just turn on.  So take it slow, masturbate when you can to get the arousal back, use lots of foreplay before sex, and try different things, including toys, and see what works for you.

Hope that helps!


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I am your Personal Pleasure Guide and I can answer questions about any sex toy on the market, including toys for women, men, transgender, bi, gay, lesbian or other. My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure and sex toys for women, including the G-spot, body safe lubricants, sex toy materials, including those to avoid. I also know a lot about men's sex toys include dolls, c-rings, prostate stimulators, anal toys, and masturbators. I have extensive knowledge about bondage and kink toys including proper and safe usage, as well as sex toys for couples and romance products to help spice up and enhance your relationship. In addition to sex toys, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality, the sexual response cycle, and sexual anatomy, so can advise you on the best toys for specific body parts and how to use them for maximum benefit. I have tested numerous sensation and stimulating creams as well, so can advise on these type of products, if they work, how to use them, and what products to avoid. If you are wondering about a product comparison, I can give you my honest opinion on many varieties of a similar toy type, including pros and cons of each. In addition to sex toy questions, I do have a lot of knowledge about human sexuality and relationships as well and have answered questions about open relationships, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. If I don't have the answer myself, I will find it for you, as well as other resources to check out. My G+ Profile is here-


As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. For the past 5 years I have honestly reviewed over 1000 sex toy products, including creating a guide to body safe lubes (paraben and glycerin free), written articles on sex toy materials and some known toxins, sex toy safety, glass toys and their safety, Eco-friendly sex toys, sex toys for women, men and couples to share. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sex toy expert.

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6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

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My main emphasis is writing sex educational review of sexuality products for the adult public via my blog and various other publications. I have also written articles and product descriptions for various sex toys shops including, TabuToys, Pink Cherry, Babeland, Good Vibes,, MyTickleSpot, as well as numerous specialty shops and manufacturers of quality sex toy products. Manufacturers include Lelo, We-Vibe, Cal Exotics, Pipedreams, Sportsheets, Ruby Glass, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Vibratex, Liberator, Adam & Eve, Dr Laura Berman Intimate Basics, Big Teaze Toys, Tantus and more.

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