Sex Toys/sex toy

Hello there, I'm not sure if you remember me, you've helped me in the past. my wife once brought up the idea of uhm, using a toy on me. ( I'm a male) at first I thought she was kidding, 'cause of all the times I ask for anal sex ( she won't do that) but she's mentioned it a lot lately.  Fo u think there's actually a chance she wants to do this? Does it hurt? What would she use? I I'm nervous about yhe idea but I suppose if I can ask for anal she can too right

Hello Charles,

Thank you for your question.

If she is asking, sounds like she is curious to try it on you. There is a lot of information now about stimulating the prostate and it being the ultimate pleasure for men.  So, perhaps she has read some of this and thought you may enjoy trying it.

Does it hurt?  Like any anal sex play, you need to go slow.
Here are my tips for anal sex play for beginners, which applies to men and women:

So, make sure to follow the safety tips if you do want to try it, go slow and use lots of lube.  Actually, give this to your wife to read as well.

It is very natural for someone to be nervous for the first time for anal sex play.  But if you follow the safety guidelines in my article above, you will be fine.

For men, I recommend doing penis foreplay first (either oral or a hand job) and getting the man very stimulated first.  Then your partner can try pressing into the perineum area (the area between the scrotum and the anal opening) which is very sensitive and stimulates the prostate.  That way you can test how stimulating your prostate feels before actually being penetrated anally.  While it is not as intense as penetration, it will allow you to test the sensation.

If that feels good, you may want to go ahead and try penetration.  First, she should use gloves if she has nails, or her nails should be trimmed short.  She would apply lots of lube to your anal opening and just rub that (like the rosebud massage as described in my article).  If that feels good she could try just the tip of her finger and see how that feels to you, and if good, continue to slowly insert. Eventually, she will reach the prostate, which is located on the front wall (belly side) of the rectum. She will feel a round bulb of tissue, this is the prostate.

Once she locates this area she can stroke the prostate in a come-hither fashion, using the pads of her fingers, as if you were asking someone to move closer to you so that you could whisper a secret. If you want more or less pressure, or slower or faster strokes, let your partner know.

This is the best way to try anal sex for men to begin with.  If you like this you may want to look into various prostate toys.  If you'd like more info on the toys, let me know, but here are a bunch of prostate toys to choose from:

Hope that answers your question.  If you have more, let me know.


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I am your Personal Pleasure Guide and I can answer questions about any sex toy on the market, including toys for women, men, transgender, bi, gay, lesbian or other. My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure and sex toys for women, including the G-spot, body safe lubricants, sex toy materials, including those to avoid. I also know a lot about men's sex toys include dolls, c-rings, prostate stimulators, anal toys, and masturbators. I have extensive knowledge about bondage and kink toys including proper and safe usage, as well as sex toys for couples and romance products to help spice up and enhance your relationship. In addition to sex toys, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality, the sexual response cycle, and sexual anatomy, so can advise you on the best toys for specific body parts and how to use them for maximum benefit. I have tested numerous sensation and stimulating creams as well, so can advise on these type of products, if they work, how to use them, and what products to avoid. If you are wondering about a product comparison, I can give you my honest opinion on many varieties of a similar toy type, including pros and cons of each. In addition to sex toy questions, I do have a lot of knowledge about human sexuality and relationships as well and have answered questions about open relationships, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. If I don't have the answer myself, I will find it for you, as well as other resources to check out. My G+ Profile is here-


As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. For the past 5 years I have honestly reviewed over 1000 sex toy products, including creating a guide to body safe lubes (paraben and glycerin free), written articles on sex toy materials and some known toxins, sex toy safety, glass toys and their safety, Eco-friendly sex toys, sex toys for women, men and couples to share. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sex toy expert.

Society for Human Sexuality, San Francisco Club Cal Exotics Xbiz Real Sex Toy Reviews

Publications, Sex Life Canada,, the Sex Carnival, Whiplash!, SMUT, Divine Caroline, Carnal nation, Good Vibes magazine, Lover Magazine, Broken Pencil, AltSexTalk, Ezine Articles, Real Sex Toy Reviews, Boinkology, Examiner,, and many more.

6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

Awards and Honors
Governor General's Award for the highest GPA

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My main emphasis is writing sex educational review of sexuality products for the adult public via my blog and various other publications. I have also written articles and product descriptions for various sex toys shops including, TabuToys, Pink Cherry, Babeland, Good Vibes,, MyTickleSpot, as well as numerous specialty shops and manufacturers of quality sex toy products. Manufacturers include Lelo, We-Vibe, Cal Exotics, Pipedreams, Sportsheets, Ruby Glass, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Vibratex, Liberator, Adam & Eve, Dr Laura Berman Intimate Basics, Big Teaze Toys, Tantus and more.

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