Sex Toys/lube

Hi there, im a straight, 21 year old, married male and I feel pretty awkward saying it but I really  like shoving something  in and out of my ass while I masturbate, i tried using astroglide for this purpose and it didnt really work at alll. Vaseline feels nice  but its very messy.I tried using hand lotion which is what I primarily use to masturbate (I find sex lube like astroglide to be uncomfortable while jerking off, idk why)
But it burned when i used it for anal masturbation
Can you suggest a lube that would work well for anal stimulation and for regular masturbation?

Hello Charles,

Thank you for your question.

No need to feel awkward about enjoying anal pleasure.  For men, anal pleasure can be exquisite as that is where the prostate is located and many straight men are becoming more adventurous and trying this out.

Personally, I don't like Astroglide, as it contains many chemicals.  And, lotions and Vaseline are not good alternatives as one is a petrol-chemical and the other likely has unwanted scents and chemicals in it that aren't good for your rectum.

Many anal lubes have desensitizing chemicals like Benzocaine.  I recommend staying away from these, as you don't want to numb your pleasure and also not being able to feel when you are thrusting sex toys into your anus can be very dangerous.

You can choose between water-based, silicone or oil-based lubricants for anal play. Water-based are a bit thicker and simply dissolve into the anus, but tend to dry up quicker. Silicone lubes tend to be thinner, but much slicker and last longer.  Oil-based lubes are greasier, last a long time, but are harder to eliminate from the rectum after play.

So, my recommendation would be either water-based (if you don't mind reapplying the lubricant), or silicone.

I have three recommendations for you because some people prefer water-based, some silicone and some hybrids of the two.  If you have the opportunity to go to a sex store in person, often the staff will allow you to try the texture/feel of the lube on your fingers before you buy.  But, if you can't do that you may want to try smaller sample sizes first, to see which one you like best. However, I don't think you could go wrong with any of these choices, you just may prefer one over the others.  They are all great lubes, body-safe and should not irritate or burn you.

One of the best anal lubes is Boy Butter which is water-based, but also has coconut oil and a silicone blend-

"The ingredients are homogenized like real butter and the end result is a personal lubricant that will last as long as any synthetic or silicone lubricants yet washes off with water alone, from both skin and fabric. Boy Butter Original is long lasting, hypoallergenic and is safe on all toys."  Also, coconut oil is one of the best things you can put on/in the body, is very moisturizing and safe.

For a totally water-based lube Pjur Back Door is excellent-

"The water-based lubricant with a comfortable lubricating effect especially for hard anal sex. The addition of valuable hyaluronic acid featuring moisturizing properties forms small water cushions to support the lubricating effect. Pjur Back Door Comfort Water Anal Glide is taste and odorless, and is characterized by an exceptionally long lasting lubricant effect without getting sticky.

And, for a strictly silicone based lube, Uranus is a good one-

"New from Wet is Uranus Silicone Lubricant. This formula is recommended for those who are looking to boldly go to the unexplored! This formula is thicker than our Wet Original and Wet Platinum to give long-lasting lubrication and a little extra cushioning needed for anal play. It is pH-balanced and latex friendly. Wet Uranus Silicone is paraben-free. Remember: The anus is not self-lubricating so it is essential to use a generous amount of quality lubricant every time you engage in anal play. Hypoallergenic, non-staining, and guaranteed never sticky."

Any of these would also work well for regular masturbation of the penis/balls as well.

Hope this helps.

Happy Orgasms!  

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I am your Personal Pleasure Guide and I can answer questions about any sex toy on the market, including toys for women, men, transgender, bi, gay, lesbian or other. My specialties include women's sexuality, sexual pleasure and sex toys for women, including the G-spot, body safe lubricants, sex toy materials, including those to avoid. I also know a lot about men's sex toys include dolls, c-rings, prostate stimulators, anal toys, and masturbators. I have extensive knowledge about bondage and kink toys including proper and safe usage, as well as sex toys for couples and romance products to help spice up and enhance your relationship. In addition to sex toys, I am very knowledgeable about sexuality, the sexual response cycle, and sexual anatomy, so can advise you on the best toys for specific body parts and how to use them for maximum benefit. I have tested numerous sensation and stimulating creams as well, so can advise on these type of products, if they work, how to use them, and what products to avoid. If you are wondering about a product comparison, I can give you my honest opinion on many varieties of a similar toy type, including pros and cons of each. In addition to sex toy questions, I do have a lot of knowledge about human sexuality and relationships as well and have answered questions about open relationships, erectile dysfunction, and other issues. If I don't have the answer myself, I will find it for you, as well as other resources to check out. My G+ Profile is here-


As as pleasure consultant, I have worked for 6 years in various sex toy shops, including brick and mortar shops where I advised customers on what types of toys they may like to purchase, as well as educating them on the toys and sexuality in general. For the past 5 years I have honestly reviewed over 1000 sex toy products, including creating a guide to body safe lubes (paraben and glycerin free), written articles on sex toy materials and some known toxins, sex toy safety, glass toys and their safety, Eco-friendly sex toys, sex toys for women, men and couples to share. I have an established sex toy review blog with over 5000 articles, reviews and sexual information posts, and have gained a reputation as a sex toy expert.

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6 years working in the sex toy industry 5 years reviewing sex toys and writing articles on sexuality BFA and a BA Numerous workshops on sexuality and sex toys in general.

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My main emphasis is writing sex educational review of sexuality products for the adult public via my blog and various other publications. I have also written articles and product descriptions for various sex toys shops including, TabuToys, Pink Cherry, Babeland, Good Vibes,, MyTickleSpot, as well as numerous specialty shops and manufacturers of quality sex toy products. Manufacturers include Lelo, We-Vibe, Cal Exotics, Pipedreams, Sportsheets, Ruby Glass, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Vibratex, Liberator, Adam & Eve, Dr Laura Berman Intimate Basics, Big Teaze Toys, Tantus and more.

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