Expert: Debra Coleman - 10/20/2009

Question
I have been liveing with my boyfriend for 8 months now and he has recently shared with me that he would live to be more active in my 2 year old daughters life and bond with her better, and i love the idea.
The only problem is that i cant ever leave her alone with him because he cant stand to change a diaper. My daughter is in the process of being potty trained but still has accidents. The last time he was left alone with her she had an accident and he tried to changer her and ended up puking on the floor.
So my question is what can i do to get them to bond and build a good relationship when i cant leave her alone with him?

Answer
Hi Kendra,
Its great that your boyfriend wants his own "quality time" with your daughter to bond.  But under the circumstances, if it bothers him to change a diaper, then unfortunately he can't be left alone with her.  Since she's going through a potty-training stage, for her to be stunted in this growth process is not helpful at all.  And if your boyfriend can't take changing a diaper, then that's really on him.  He will have to overcome that in his own way if he wants to be around your daughter totally alone.  There's really not too much you can do in this case. I would suggest that you just allow them their 1:1 time in the house, but just stay nearby in case she needs to be changed.  This is an interesting question though. :-)

Take care,
Debra