Single Parenting/What can I do?


Situation: I was dating a guy for two years. As soon as I got pregnant, we broke up. He ignored me as if I didn't exhaust for 8 months of my pregnancy and we got together for two weeks before I gave birth. After our daughter was born, we saw him maybe 10 times in the first three months of her life. Since then, he leaves and comes as he pleases.
Our daughter is now 8 turning 9 months. In all of her life, he has never helped out financially with anything, my parents and I have. I recently lost my job and that's when all these issues came up.
parents, who I am now moving in with due to not being able to afford living on my own anymore, do not want him anywhere near their house, and do not want me talking to him with the cell phone they  are now paying for. They have given me an ultimatum: I can live under their roof and receive their help as long as he isn't in the picture.
My father made it clear to him that if he wanted to see his daughter he would have to to court, in which case we would be asking for child support for the past 9 months.

My questions are: what options do I have? What rights does her father have? I know they have the right to see their kids, but does that mean he can show up whenever he feels like it if my parents won't allow him to come over? I am willing to settle for child support, full custody and supervised visitation rights but I want to know what is the best way of going about this. Help /:

Hi Via!

Fathers have the right to see their child as much as the mother in most states.  Being that your parents do not want him at their home then you would probably have to make arrangements for him to see his child if he asks to.

It sounds to me that he does not want to take any responsibility of being a father without being forced to.  He has to legally pay child support so I would definitely file for that.  That is the least he can do for your child.  Child support payments do help alot so don't give them up since they are meant to help raise a child.  

In most states if the mother is not married to the father then the mother gets full custody with visitation rights for the father.  Better to resolve these types of issues now while the child is young.  

Usually most states now have a Website that you can actually fill out forms for child support and custody.  If not they will direct you who to call.  It can be a stressful process so be prepared.  

Good Luck!

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I was a single parent to my child his entire life. I have experienced many ups and downs that comes everyday with being a single parent. I have learned a lot throughout these years about child support/courts, ways to cope with the daily stress, day care issues, work, ADD, relationships, teenagers, when to compromise and when to not, money issues, discipline issues, etc. I have done an excellent job raising my son who is now on his own and functioning well. I am currently an Executive of my company without any type of degree. My perseverance and strength has gotten me this far in life and work. I learned to understand what I need to focus on in life and what I can`t waste time on, learning to compromise most situations.

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