Single Parenting/Son

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Question
ME
ME  
Hi Dr. Borkosky, this is Angie from before. I had the son who is 13 and masturbating.

You mentioned that I should talk to him about it, how do I do that? What should I say? I'm really not sure what I can say to him so any guidance would be great.

Thank you again!

Answer
Hi, Angie, it's really impossible for me to answer that question, because I know nothing about you or your son. I've given you some general information about kids, sex, and interactions, but you will have to figure out what topics, how to approach them, etc, based on your child and his needs. You can learn some information from books on how to talk to your children about sex. I'm not aware of any particular ones. You can also seek help from a therapist, who can help you figure out these things. It can be a complicated matter, so that might help. I think the most important thing about dealing with teens is to keep the door open. They often will try to close the door, but don't let that fool you - they still want a lifeline, even tho they are trying to become independent. Be sure to set up your internet to prevent him from accessing porn, tho. When you talk with him, try to keep his needs in mind, but be sure to set and enforce rules about being respectful when he is emotional or disagrees - this is an important skill that kids need to develop to become mature adults. Finally, don't be fooled by the words kids use - they can easily seem much more mature than they really are.

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Bruce Borkosky, Psy.D.

Expertise

Questions such as 'what are some options for dealing with this problem' are easiest to answer. It's difficult, if not impossible, to diagnose anyone over the internet.

Experience

I'm a licensed psychologist, since 1994. I have raised several step-children.

Organizations
American Psychological Association Florida Psychological Association National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology

Publications
www.bruceborkosky.blogger.com

Education/Credentials
Psy.D., Miami Institute of Psychology, 1993

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