Expert: Jay Remer - 6/20/2008

Question
Nearly 3 months have passed since I split from a business partnership and I just received an invitation to the wedding of the son (whom I have never met and doubt knows my name) of a good friend and business associate of my ex-partner.  While we did do some business together and see each other at the annual Company Christmas dinner I was shocked to be on the invitation list.  I barely even recognized the groom's name and figured out who the invitation was from.  I don't know if the invitation list was developed prior to my departure and I was sent an invitation as it was thought difficult to invite my partner without me form a business perspective, or if this is some way of this elder gentleman reaching out to say stay in touch.  The wedding is in another state and I am not in a position to attend, and the RSVP is to the family of the bride.  I respect and like this gentleman very much and he is very influential.  Other than declining to attend via the RSVP to the bride's family, what is the appropriate way to acknowledge the invitation directly to this gentleman and is a gift to a couple I have never met and probably never will meet an expected response?

Answer
Dear Steve,
Thanks for asking this question. I would not read too much into this invitation. You may never know what the intent behind sending it you was. So treat it at face value. Send your regrets. No gift is necessary, and certainly a note to 'this gentleman' would be most inappropriate. You can stay in touch with him well outside the parameters of this event if that is your desire. I hope this helps. Jay