AboutAmanda Gamble Expertise I will answer any etiquette question you`d care to ask!
I will be happy to give friendly non-judgmental advice on any situation.
If your question is rude,incoherent or demands I confirm your "victim" story,
I reserve the right to refuse to answer. Life is too short.
Certain cultures and customs are not part of my personal
experience,but I will research to get the needed answer.
Experience I have been writing a daily etiquette advice column for 6 years.
I have taught as well as given lectures on the subject.
Expert: Amanda Gamble Date: 7/20/2008 Subject: Baby #2 and kids are not 2 years apart
Question One of my best friends is pregnant with number 2. She just registered and is wanting a big shower and keeps asking me and another close girlfriend when we are having it for her. Her first child will not even be 2 when the new little one is here. Yes they are different sexes, we suggested a little get together and a lunch or something. People were open to bring presents if they wished ( of course they way we are we are going to buy her something, we love buying for babies). My other close friend that is helping is getting ready to deliver in 3 weeks. I dont know wahat to do anymore.. we dont think she should have a big shower. We think she is being selfish but unsure of how to let her know this... any suggestions please!!!!!!!!!!
Answer Dear Hannah,
A woman should never ask for or even hint that she wants or
expects a party given in her honor.
Showers began as small informal gatherings of friends to give
the bride or mother-to-be a few things to start down her new path
in life with. After the first marriage or baby,she should know
what to expect and what she needs to buy for her home or child.
It isn't wrong for you and your friends to give her a party if
you wish to do so,but it needs to be of the time and place of your
choosing. If you don't want to go to the expense of a big shower,
then don't. Simply offer the plan without apology. As in "Tracy,
we would like to get together with you for lunch on the 23rd. With
the new baby coming and Lisa due any minute,it might be the last
chance we have to get together for awhile."
That's it. No need to explain or feel guilty. Have the lunch,
give her the gifts and refuse to give into her demands for a
big party.
If she makes a fuss,please reconsider if someone so self-centered
is truly a friend.
