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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > Invitation not wanted
Expert: Amanda Gamble - 10/29/2009
Question
A female co-worker is getting married within the year and she plans on inviting everybody in the office.
This individual is one of the rudest people I have been in contact with and even though I have attempted to be "extra" nice and make an effort to talk to her, she goes out of her way to ignore me. Anyway, I don't want the invitation and in no way do I plan on giving her a gift, much less a card. Is this rude?
I've heard her talking with a mutual friend that people don't have to come, as long as they give her a money gift. As if!
What do you recommend?
Answer
Dear Michelle,
Simply wait for the invitation to arrive and then decline it politely. Sending your
regrets closes the subject. You have other plans and it is your business what they are.
Loafing around the house is a more important use of your day than attending this woman's
wedding. It's true,isn't it? No need to say it,of course,but your time is your own. Give
nothing more than the most perfunctory of apologies and no offer no excuses.
Even if you adored this co-worker and wanted to attend the wedding,you are under no
obligation to give a gift. Ever. The people who invite you to any milestone should want
you there to help celebrate the day without any thought of getting anything.
Consider only your level of affection for the person(s) and the state of your bank account
when deciding when and if to give someone a present.
Best regards,
Amanda Gamble
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