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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > How to educate relatives about etiquette rules when they visit me
Social Etiquette and Good Manners - How to educate relatives about etiquette rules when they visit me
Expert: Amanda Gamble - 10/26/2009
Question
Hi Amanda,
My husband's nephews and nieces visit us almost every weekend as they live in the same town. They do not seem to understand where to draw the line with using our things...for ex. they simply use our personal items bath towels, borrow shampoo, soaps etc. They also mix their clothes with ours in the washing room area, despite having allocated separate baskets for storing their clothes that require washing. Since this is a regular affair it is getting tiresome and I am unable to educate them nicely (without becoming a bad person) on etiquette that is expected when they visit us. How can I let make them understand the etiquette/expected behavior without causing conflict? I know they do all this because they are truly innocent and think since they are extended family it is ok to be that way...
Your advise could help me.
Regards,
-lakshmi
Answer
Dear Lakshmi,
You do not say how old these nephews and nieces are,but it doesn't matter really. This
is your house and you should be able to impose a few rules here and there. Sit them down,
together and say "Kids,you know that I love you all very much. Uncle Raj and I are so glad
that you come over and feel comfortable here. But,guys,you're getting a little TOO comfortable.
It drives me a little crazy when you mix the clothes in the wash/use up all of the shampoo/etc.
You're all such sweet intelligent kids that I knew you'd want me to come to you if there was
an issue. How about helping me come up with some house rules we can all live with?"
Enlist their aid in resolving the problems but make sure you deliver the "issues" with
the preface of the good things you get out of seeing them. It will make it less confrontational
and if they are not embarrassed by being lectured to,you're bound to get a better result.
Best regards,
Amanda Gamble
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