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About Cynthia Lett
Expertise
Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.

Experience
I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and run the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC. Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications.

Organizations
International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

Publications
I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

Education/Credentials
I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

Past/Present Clients
World Bank, United Nations,US Dept. of State, US. Dept. of the Army, Pentagon, Barclays Global Investors,Accenture,AT&T,Bank of America,American Association of Clinical Pharmacies,Ritz Carlton Hotels, Hilton Hotels, Marriott Hotels,Starwood Hotels,and many more.

You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > Is there a polite, non-conflicting way to tell my sister-in-law to stop this behavior?

Social Etiquette and Good Manners - Is there a polite, non-conflicting way to tell my sister-in-law to stop this behavior?

Expert: Cynthia Lett - 10/23/2009

Question
My husband and I are hosting a housewarming party in our house. I am rather reserved person and I do not enjoy having a lot of strangers in my home. My sister-in-law is bringing her boyfriend, even though he was never invited, and also she wants to bring boyfriend's mother. She has done that before, with her previous boyfriend and insisted we invite his parents to one of our parties.

I don't think it's an appropriate behavior and my husband and I are looking for a polite way to stop her from bringing strangers into our home in the future. Could you suggest something to help us out?

Answer
Dear Orchid:
Tell your sister-in-law that you set a guest list because it was what you feel comfortable with. You appreciate that she wants to include her boyfriend and his mother but you don't know them and you are only including your close friends and immediate family in this event. I would also say to her directly, "I know you want to respect our wishes since it is our home. We know that you aren't going to be rude and bring someone who is not directly invited by us into our home." It is a little backhanded way of shaming her to do the right thing but since it is your home you have the right to say no. I would also suggest to her to have a party where both are invited and if invited you would happy to come.

Thank you for your question. It is a situation that many people face.

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