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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > Informal Family Gathering
Expert: Amanda Gamble - 11/9/2009
Question
A relative and myself were discussing about getting our family together at our cousins restaurant. The restaurant owner agreed and a date was set. I became the "organizer" so I contacted many family members(some of which I don't even really know or haven't seen in years)either over the phone or on a social website. After talking to one family member I realized she was under the assumption that this would be paid for by me instead of everyone paying for themselves. Now, if this was a party hosted by me , I would of course foot the bill, but it isn't, I am just the messenger.
Most of my relatives assume the obvious, but there are some I hardly know and live out of town. I would hate this to be a financial burden if they have to travel and then find out this is (I hate this term)"dutch treat".
I am about to send out a reminder (2 weeks prior)on Facebook (that's how informal this is),how can I address this? Or should I just leave it be?
My mother ALWAYS told me, if you can't afford to have a party...DON'T. But this is a little different. I have been careful to use the term Family "get-together" instead of "Reunion"
Answer
Dear Sandy,
Don't be hard on yourself,this is much different than sending out engraved invitations
and then saying "Oh,by the way,pay up!". On the FB event page,say something like "There
has been some confusion about the dinner checks for which I apologize. Each family is responsible
for their own bill as this is just a casual family get together. I am serving as the messenger
(or contact person)and not the hostess. Again,I am sorry for not making this clear in the beginning."
Best regards,
Amanda Gamble
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