AllExperts > Social Etiquette and Good Manners 
Search      
Social Etiquette and Good Manners
Volunteer
Answers to thousands of questions
 Home · More Social Etiquette and Good Manners Questions · Answer Library  · Encyclopedia ·
More Social Etiquette and Good Manners Answers
Question Library

Ask a question about Social Etiquette and Good Manners
Volunteer
Experts of the Month
Expert Login

Awards

About Us
Tell friends
Link to Us
Disclaimer

 
 
 
 
About Amanda Gamble
Expertise
I will answer any etiquette question you`d care to ask! I will be happy to give friendly non-judgmental advice on any situation. If your question is rude,incoherent or demands I confirm your "victim" story, I reserve the right to refuse to answer. Life is too short. Certain cultures and customs are not part of my personal experience,but I will research to get the needed answer. Time specific questions may or may not get answered by your deadline.

Experience
I have been writing a daily etiquette advice column for 8 years. I have taught as well as given lectures on the subject.
 
   

You are here:  Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > Informal Family Gathering

Social Etiquette and Good Manners - Informal Family Gathering


Expert: Amanda Gamble - 11/9/2009

Question
A relative and myself were discussing about getting our family together at our cousins restaurant.  The restaurant owner agreed and a date was set.  I became the "organizer" so I contacted many family members(some of which I don't even really know or haven't seen in years)either over the phone or on a social website. After talking to one family member I realized she was under the assumption that this would be paid for by me instead of everyone paying for themselves.  Now, if this was a party hosted by me , I would of course foot the bill, but it isn't, I am just the messenger.

Most of my relatives assume the obvious, but there are some I hardly know and live out of town.  I would hate this to be a financial burden if they have to travel and then find out this is (I hate this term)"dutch treat".

I am about to send out a reminder (2 weeks prior)on Facebook (that's how informal this is),how can I address this?  Or should I just leave it be?

My mother ALWAYS told me, if you can't afford to have a party...DON'T.  But this is a little different.  I have been careful to use the term Family "get-together" instead of "Reunion"

Answer
Dear Sandy,
  Don't be hard on yourself,this is much different than sending out engraved invitations
and then saying "Oh,by the way,pay up!".  On the FB event page,say something like "There
has been some confusion about the dinner checks for which I apologize. Each family is responsible
for their own bill as this is just a casual family get together. I am serving as the messenger
(or contact person)and not the hostess. Again,I am sorry for not making this clear in the beginning."

  Best regards,
    Amanda Gamble

Ask a Question


 
User Agreement | Privacy Policy | Kids' Privacy Policy | Help
Copyright  © 2008 About, Inc. AllExperts, AllExperts.com, and About.com are registered trademarks of About, Inc. All rights reserved.