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About Cynthia Lett
Expertise
Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.

Experience
I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and run the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC. Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications.

Organizations
International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

Publications
I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

Education/Credentials
I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

Past/Present Clients
World Bank, United Nations,US Dept. of State, US. Dept. of the Army, Pentagon, Barclays Global Investors,Accenture,AT&T,Bank of America,American Association of Clinical Pharmacies,Ritz Carlton Hotels, Hilton Hotels, Marriott Hotels,Starwood Hotels,and many more.

 
   

You are here:  Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > invitations to colleagues

Social Etiquette and Good Manners - invitations to colleagues


Expert: Cynthia Lett - 11/10/2009

Question
I wonder if I'm being oversensitive. A new colleague (she joined 8 months ago) in our very small company (15 staff, 2 directors) has invited everyone except 3 of us to her wedding.  I know it's her choice to invite anyone she sees fit, but she has only invited the professionals and ignored us lowly administrative people.  This company has always had a very inclusive atmosphere until now.  We are feeling rather hurt and left out.  Do you think we are wrong to feel this way? What really grates is that I feel she has not been here long enough to develop real relationships with those she has invited anyway!

Answer
Dear Sonja:
Often when people choose to invite only the "professionals" in a firm to an event of significance it is because they are either trying to make points for themselves or they don't know where to draw the line when they really only want to invite one or two people.  They know there will be talk in the office so they minimize the "damage" that they perceive will happen if others at the same level are not invited.  They leave off the invitation list those who are not at the same level since they are perceived not to hold a part of their climb up the ladder.  As you are probably also thinking - this is not right.  I don't believe this is right but according to etiquette rules, as you understand, people can invite whomever they want to invite and we should not be judgmental.  Remember, only you can choose how you feel about something so I suggest you choose to wish her well with her big day and go out and have a good day for yourself.  Remember too that the company is not paying for this woman's wedding so it is not a company function.  Keep company and personal business separate - life is just easier that way.

Thank you for your question.

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