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About Cynthia Lett
Expertise
Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.
Experience
I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and run the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them".
I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC.
Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications.
Organizations
International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association
Publications
I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.
Education/Credentials
I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP.
I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.
Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).
Past/Present Clients
World Bank, United Nations,US Dept. of State, US. Dept. of the Army, Pentagon, Barclays Global Investors,Accenture,AT&T,Bank of America,American Association of Clinical Pharmacies,Ritz Carlton Hotels, Hilton Hotels, Marriott Hotels,Starwood Hotels,and many more.
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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners > How to return an expensive present
Expert: Cynthia Lett - 11/12/2009
Question
I was recently given an expensive present by a friend/exboyfriend. It was a gift certificate for $400. The amount is so large that it makes me feel uncomfortable. I am thinking of returning it, but I don't think he will be able to get his money back.
Is it appropriate for me to simply give the certificate back and tell the giver that I think it's too generous? Or, should I offer him some money for it, say $2-300 - and use the rest? (It's for a store that I would spend the money in, but I don't believe that he would.)
Thank you!
Answer
Dear Sarah:
It is rude to give back a gift you have been given - no matter your perception of its worth. When you offer to give back a gift, you are telling the giver that you don't value their intentions or heart. Gifts are given from the heart with good intentions. Don't insult him. If you feel uncomfortable spending all of the money, spend a little, get change and give the change to charity. Heaven knows that charities are hurting for help these days.
Thank you for your question.
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