Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Is this behavior rude or not

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Expert: Cynthia W. Lett - 6/19/2009


Question
QUESTION: Hello...this is my first time here.  Is it considered rude, if a co-worker/friend asks me to go on break, and we go down to get coffee and on the way there, she sees someone she knows and leave me standing there while she is talking to the other person.  She said, that she had to talk to him, because she hasn't been able to talk to him about something...and then I said..I am just gonna go back upstairs, because I do have alot of work to do anyway.

Thank you for your time.
Kiana

ANSWER: Dear Kiana:
Your colleague was quite rude to leave you to talk with the other person without introducing you to him.  She should have told him that she is busy at the moment but she wants to talk with him. When can she reach him by phone?
I suggest that she isn't really a friend but uses you as a convenient coffee mate.  You did the right thing by excusing yourself and leaving.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you.  I have 2nd question...this is a co-
worker I work with directly, she attempted to
take a picture of me with her cellphone...she
starts out by showing me her pictures of her
brother & say when he calls, this is the picture
that comes up, next thing you know, I see her
facing the phone at me as if she is about to
take a picture of me, as soon as I realized
what she was doing, I turned around & told her
no.  So, in turn she made a comment to me
about how I want to be an actress (wanting is
different then being an actress), anyways she
stopped talking to me, & that night as I was
leaving, I said "Have a good weekend" her
reply was "Thank you", and after that she just
ignores me.  We are not friends, we have each
others phone number for work emergency.  
Also, she knows I don't like having my picture
taken. Was it rude of her on what she did?
Thank you for your time.
Kiana

Answer
Dear Kiana:
I think you already know the answer to your question.  Imposing anything on another person who rejects what you are doing is rude so taking your picture was certainly rude.  I will suggest that you just be civil and do the work together that needs to get done and don't worry about being friends.  Just be pleasant and don't feel rejected by her.   Not everyone is meant to be our friend.

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Cynthia W. Lett

Expertise

Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.

Experience

I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and serve as the Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field of etiquette and protocol training and execution. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". My book, "That's So Annoying:An Etiquette Expert on the World's Most Irritating Habits And What To Do About Them" was published in 2009 and is available wherever books are sold. I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC for seven years I served as Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications for three years.

Organizations
International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

Publications
I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

Education/Credentials
I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

Past/Present Clients
World Bank, United Nations,US Dept. of State, US. Dept. of the Army, Pentagon, Barclays Global Investors,Accenture,Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, The White House, Dept. of State, AT&T,Bank of America,American Association of Clinical Pharmacies,Ritz Carlton Hotels, Hilton Hotels, Marriott Hotels,Starwood Hotels,and many more.

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