AboutAmanda Gamble Expertise I will answer any etiquette question you`d care to ask!
I will be happy to give friendly non-judgmental advice on any situation.
If your question is rude,incoherent or demands I confirm your "victim" story,
I reserve the right to refuse to answer. Life is too short.
Certain cultures and customs are not part of my personal
experience,but I will research to get the needed answer.
Time specific questions may or may not get answered by your deadline.
Experience I have been writing a daily etiquette advice column for 8 years.
I have taught as well as given lectures on the subject.
Question What are the positives of earmarking or giving your goods away before you do? What would be the sticky issues? I'm writing an article about the positives and negatives of giving your things away before you die as opposed to including a list of recipients with your will or expecting a free for all after you're gone.
Answer Dear Martha,
This really isn't an etiquette question but I will see what I can
do. The upside to gifting things before you die would be that you know
absolutely who got what and you may see them enjoy the (fill in the
blank). If it is a piece of land or home,there may be tax advantages.
The downside is that you may find out that Cousin Janie never
really cared for that ruby ring that has been in your family for 3
generations. So she turns around,sells it and uses the cash to buy
something that you disapprove of. Or you live to see the family farm
go to the woman (of whom you NEVER approved) your son married if they
divorce.
Another downside could be hurt feelings and relationship rifts.
Children or grandchildren who will see inequity in the divisions,no
matter how hard you try to be fair,and blame you or each other. That
could be very unpleasant.
My advice is make the bequests in the Will and don't worry about
the rest. You cannot control other people very well in this life and
you certainly cannot control their behavior from beyond the grave.
