AboutAmanda Gamble Expertise I will answer any etiquette question you`d care to ask!
I will be happy to give friendly non-judgmental advice on any situation.
If your question is rude,incoherent or demands I confirm your "victim" story,
I reserve the right to refuse to answer. Life is too short.
Certain cultures and customs are not part of my personal
experience,but I will research to get the needed answer.
Time specific questions may or may not get answered by your deadline.
Experience I have been writing a daily etiquette advice column for 8 years.
I have taught as well as given lectures on the subject.
Question Hi Amanda, Recently I agreed to allow my 13 year olds' school mate (who recently moved out of state), to come to our home so that he could attend a band camp in our home town for two weeks this summer. I agreed to meet the parents 4 hours away (which was a half way point for them) to pick up their son and then drive him to our home. The travelling was fine with me. However, it turned out that the parents did not send any money to support their son while he was visiting. When I agreed to have him visit, I assumed that they would send money also. I realize it was my choice to allow him to come but was I supposed to consider all costs would be my responsibility by allowing him to stay? I didn't mind the expense of driving to pick their son up but it truly isn't cheap to feed and entertain a 13 year old boy for 2 weeks. After speaking with the parents they said they would send money for anything extra that their son may need but isn't the basic daily needs a responsibility of the parents to provide assistance? After all, it wasn't just a weekend stay, it was 2 weeks and I provided everything including transportation. Additionally, the parents make a considerable amount more than I do so I am sure it was not a financial problem for them. Your thoughts on my situation are appreciated. Thank you.
Answer Dear Jennifer,
I am surprised that the child's parents did not think to provide
for their child's basic care. No,you do not automatically have to have
him as guest,but it would have been better to have made an agreement
up front. "We would be happy to have Tommy stay with us and see that
he gets to and from band camp with Tyler...now..I hate to bring it up,
in a perfect world this wouldn't be an issue,but two weeks feeding a
13 year old boy is going to put a bit of a strain on the family budget."
Hopefully they would interrupt you before it got much past food
and 13 year old boy to say "Oh,let us send a check to cover the
groceries and Tommy's incidental expenses."
Your question makes it a little unclear as to how you left
the situation with the boy's parents,but perhaps with some time
to reflect on the situation,they will do the correct thing after
the fact.
Best regards,
Amanda Gamble
