Social Etiquette and Good Manners/50th wedding anniversary


My husband and I traveled 400 miles to a 50th wedding anniversary celebration. We seated ourselves at a corner table with my twin sister and her husband. The issue is: My sister and I were the bridesmaids. We were not acknowledged or invited to participate in the celebration. No introductions to family. We knew few of the 200 guests but did mingle as we could. Our pictures were included in the wedding slide show. Short of making an early exit I was at a loss. Not sure what I should have done. Doubt there will be communication but what should I do if there is? I prefer taking the "high road". I would have treasured an anniversary photo of the bridal party. Not now.

Dear Ms. Wilson:

I am sorry that your trip to the anniversary celebration ended in a disappointing manner.  Since you said you seated yourselves, did you go up up the couple and let them know you were there?  Could it be that they were so caught up with being hosts and not used to the role that they didn't pay the proper attention to all of their guests?  When that seems to be the case, I make sure I make myself known and in this case would have suggested the anniversary bridal party picture to them.

If you happen to talk with either of the couple, I would just say that you thought the party was lovely but were so sorry that you were not able to spend a little time with them. I would also mention that you still treasure your memories of their wedding and that an updated bridal party picture would have been a treat. Then leave the rest of the talking to them.

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Cynthia W. Lett


Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.


I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and serve as the Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field of etiquette and protocol training and execution. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". My book, "That's So Annoying:An Etiquette Expert on the World's Most Irritating Habits And What To Do About Them" was published in 2009 and is available wherever books are sold. I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC for seven years I served as Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications for three years.

International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

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