Social Etiquette and Good Manners/no gift birthday?


My birthday is approaching the years past I really don't get anything for it from my family or friends.I understand sometimes things get overlooked.but I feel like its no big deal to anyone,even to my twin brother.its just another day. It make me feel unwanted an forgotten.I know I won't tell any of them how I question is a two part. I being overly sensitive? do I get over it? Why should I celebrate my birth when no one else does!!

Dear Patrick:
First of all, Happy upcoming Birthday!  It would be good to know if not celebrating birthdays is common in your family.  Since you have a twin, does he celebrate his birthday?  Since I don't know the answer to this, here is my suggestion.  You need to teach others how to treat you.  That means, celebrate your own birthday by including them in the celebration. Have a party!  Why not have a party for both you and your brother?  This assumes you are in the same area.  If you are, you can take the initiative (because you are DEFINITELY worth celebrating by arranging a lunch or dinner or even drinks/dessert for the two of you and your other family and friends.
If you are not living in the area, make sure you celebrate for you by inviting friends who are close by to celebrate with you. They may just not remember it's your birthday and will want to celebrate it if you let them know.

You are not being overly sensitive if your feelings are genuine.  You have a right to believe that you matter to others because you do.  What you may not understand is that most people are very self-absorbed these days and without reminders, they just go about doing for themselves rather than reaching out to others.  How do you get over it?  Not letting situations bother you is in your power, not the power of others.  You just need to say to yourself, I am going to do my best to include others in my personal life celebrations.  If they choose not to participate, that is their problem, not mine. It has no reflection on how special you are.  It just means you are surrounded by self-absorbed, self-focused people and that is a shame on them, not you.

Remember too, that you need to reach out to these friends and family when it is their turn to celebrate.  You be the role model.

And finally - do something for yourself that you have always wanted to do or buy something you have always wanted to own to celebrate your special day.  We need to love ourselves before anyone else will love us.

Again, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!  and many more returns...

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Cynthia W. Lett


Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.


I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and serve as the Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field of etiquette and protocol training and execution. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". My book, "That's So Annoying:An Etiquette Expert on the World's Most Irritating Habits And What To Do About Them" was published in 2009 and is available wherever books are sold. I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC for seven years I served as Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications for three years.

International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

Past/Present Clients
World Bank, United Nations,US Dept. of State, US. Dept. of the Army, Pentagon, Barclays Global Investors,Accenture,Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, The White House, Dept. of State, AT&T,Bank of America,American Association of Clinical Pharmacies,Ritz Carlton Hotels, Hilton Hotels, Marriott Hotels,Starwood Hotels,and many more.

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