Social Etiquette and Good Manners/who to give the gift to


Hi! I have a gold cross for myself ($30) and now I decided I don't want it. I can't return it because I returned something else to buy this. lol
So, I was thinking of either giving it to my niece (age 30) who just had a birthday, OR my 80 yr old friend for her birthday because she gave me a $20 bill.

Now I can't decide to give it to. Emily, my niece, got a silver cross necklace and earrings from Avon from me about 2 yrs ago for her bday. She normally doesn't wear jewelry but when I gave this to her, she was happy because she wanted religious jewelry to wear to church. Is it more appropriate to give her the gold cross as a keepsake and since she's a member of the family, etc.. but then I already gave her a cross necklace for her bday before. She gave me a $10 bill for my bday recently. Not that it matters

Marci is my friend who is 80 yrs old. She's in good health but I don't know if I've seen her wear much jewelry. But she IS a devout Christian. The only thing I'm concerned about is the clasp is small and even I have trouble putting it on. She probably would appreciate it..but come to think of it she told me once that she doesn't like any of the birthday gifts people give her.. I translate that to mean that because of her age, she would rather get useful gifts.

THere's really no one else that I exchange gifts of much value..There's my sister..she's a religious fanatic and she is awfully good to me.. but her bday isn't until November. Think I should store it away and give it to her? That might be a good idea. She is also the primary caregiver of my mom who is in a nursing it would be a double thank you  Although being a religious fanatic I have no clue how many religious jewelry she has or how often she wears it

The third option is for me to keep the necklace for myself but I doubt if I would ever wear it as I'm not really into jewelry and earrings.

since I always need a seal of approval from someone else, I thought I'd ask you

Dear Linda,
I would give the cross to your sister for her birthday since it sounds as if she would appreciate it the most. It doesn't matter what jewelry she already has.  That has no bearing on what you might give to her because you give gifts from your heart, not because she "needs" it.  

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Cynthia W. Lett


Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.


I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and serve as the Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field of etiquette and protocol training and execution. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". My book, "That's So Annoying:An Etiquette Expert on the World's Most Irritating Habits And What To Do About Them" was published in 2009 and is available wherever books are sold. I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC for seven years I served as Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications for three years.

International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

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