Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Birthday Trip Etiquette


If a group of girls travel overnight and hire a limo to "please" the interests of the recipient, should the group absorb the cost of the hotel and limo cost for the person the event is provided for? Two of the people involved are very financially stable and insist the birthday girl should NOT pay, but the other two are not. I am the only one who was willing to speak up, but only out of absolute necessity. Unfortunately, speaking up has left me feeling cheap and several hints have been dropped to rub it in. I would of course have no problem doing so, if I could afford it but now I feel angry and resentful for the lack of respect that has been returned. I am having a hard time knowing how to move forward with a relationship that has been compromised.  

I have already asked another question similar to this so please forgive me if I sound repetitive but, I wanted to focus my question here as to who pays the room and limo charge and what is expected?

Thank you

Dear Tina,
The financial arrangements should have been discussed before the limo was ever hired. Yes, the 'recipient' should not be responsible for any costs. I recommend that you speak with one of the more financially stable women and explain your situation and ask her for advice. Do not feel cheap or allow anyone to bully you. Facts are facts; friends are friends. This incident will hardly be held against you and in fact may have provided a teachable moment for the whole group - plan ahead. I understand your anger, but you must have compassion for those who are disrespectful and for yourself as well. Move forward by reconnecting guilt-free. You have nothing to feel any guilt about!
I hope this helps.

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Jay Remer


I am happy to answer any questions about social or corporate etiquette as well as questions regarding international protocol. It is important to practice civility. It is contagious.


I am certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. I have been entertaining and giving advise on entertaining for over 40 years.

Weekly column in Telegraph Journal

Graduate of Protocol School of Washington

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