Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Proper head stone


I have always understood that you should not sit on a head stone as directly under the stone is where the buried person head is located.  Is this proper etiquette?  If so, I recently became aware of a bench headstone.  Obviously the bench headstone is directly above the head.  Sitting on this bench seems to me to be very disrespectful.  Am I correct?

Dear Jim,
The rule of thumb is not to sit on, lean on, or otherwise touch any memorial. There will be friends close to the deceased who may leave mementos, which should not be disturbed. Walking on consecrated ground should be avoided. If the bench is a memorial bench, do not sit on it. I hope this helps.

My best,


Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Jay Remer


I am happy to answer any questions about social or corporate etiquette as well as questions regarding international protocol. It is important to practice civility. It is contagious.


I am certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. I have been entertaining and giving advise on entertaining for over 40 years.

Weekly column in Telegraph Journal

Graduate of Protocol School of Washington

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