Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Soda cans on formal dining table


For thanksgiving, I have set up s nice dining table with table cloth and napkins, candles. When my guests served themselves with the good which zi set up on the kitchen table. I asked my guests dust would they like to drink. The drinks - juices, water and sodas were in the same dining room on tea cart. Some guests wanted the soda can but I said I will pour for you and that I prefer to not have cans or bottles on the table. Everyone agreed except ky brother in law who said he wants the bottle of water on the table. He gave an excuse Thsf he did nit wasn't to dirty the glass then he said that he prefers  to drink from the bottle. His wife repeatedly told him I wanted the table to stay nice and beautiful but he wasn't listen and I told her to leave him and it's ok. Now my daughter told me that I should not tell the guests that I did not want to have cans of bottles on the table telling me that she never heard schist telling guests that. What do you think and should I have approached this matter? I am deep inside mad at my brother in law and also hurt by my daughter after working so hard to fix the meal and organize s beautiful table.

Thank you Sue for your question.  Hosting any event in your home allows you to determine how you wish the event/food to be utilized.  The easiest way to set the stage is to preset all utensils, plates, and glasses.  That being said, should you encounter a situation where a person is resistent to your ideas and plan, you did correct by letting it go.  

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Constance Hoffman


As a professional etiquette coach and trainer, I am able to assist with any and all of your questions pertaining to social and business skills, party manner, appearance, communication both verbal and written, tipping, email manners and social media, and of course entertaining and dining etiquette.


As owner of Social and Business Graces, I have been teaching children and adults for over 15 years.

Owner of Social and Business Graces

Owner, teacher, coach and author of "Tips on Tipping".

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