Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Appreciation Letter



I work with a student employee at a state university.  She has been a very good employee kind, polite and eager to help and a very pleasing personality. She will be leaving the job to pursue another requirement before she graduates. I want to send her father a letter indicating how much I and we (other employees) have enjoyed working with her.  Is writing to her father expressing my appreciation of her appropriate?  I'm not sure that she will or will not appreciate reading the letter if her father lets her read it.

I thank you for your reply and advice.

ANSWER: Dear Kenneth:

Thank you for your inquiry.  The best approach to your wanting to compliment this student for the job well done is to write a letter to her directly sharing your thoughts and appreciation.  Unless she is a minor, a letter to her father is not appropriate.  If you know her father personally, you could copy him on the letter you send to her with a handwritten note attached saying how much of a pleasure it was having her work with you.  

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------


I want to thank you for your reply!

Would an email message be okay?  I do not have her home address.  I could find it, but I do not know whether or not she would like it that I determined her home address without her telling me what it is.

I thank you for your assistance.

Dear Kenneth:

The letter from you would mean more if it came in the mail rather than email.  I would send it to her home address.  If you were going to send a copy to her Father, then mail that as well.  Email is easy but doesn't have the same impact.  

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Cynthia W. Lett


Proper manners with friends,family,colleagues,neighbors and everyone else you know.


I have been an etiquette expert teaching and consulting on the subject worldwide since 1983. I started and serve as the Executive Director of the International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals and am considered a leader in the field of etiquette and protocol training and execution. I edited "Etiquette for Dummies" and have recently written "Lett's Talk - Everyday Etiquette Dilemmas and What to Do about Them". My book, "That's So Annoying:An Etiquette Expert on the World's Most Irritating Habits And What To Do About Them" was published in 2009 and is available wherever books are sold. I taught the Business Protocol class to Master's level students at the George Washington University, Washington, DC for seven years I served as Chief of Protocol for MCI Telecommunications for three years.

International Society of Protocol & Etiquette Professionals, ASTD, PCMA, National Speakers Association

I have been quoted over 700 times in the past 5 years worldwide. Publications include Wall Street Journal, Washington Post, Washington Times, NY Times, Washington Business Journal, USA Today, Associated Press, London Times, Newsweek Japan edition, Newsweek US edition and many many more.

I am a Certified Etiquette Professional (CEP) and Certified Protocol Professional (CPP) earned by examination through ISPEP. I have a Master's degree in hospitality law and undergrad degrees in Restaurant & Hotel Management and Public Relations/Interpersonal Communications from Purdue University.

Awards and Honors
Who's Who Worldwide,Who's Who of American Women, Distinguished Darden Professor (Purdue University).

Past/Present Clients
World Bank, United Nations,US Dept. of State, US. Dept. of the Army, Pentagon, Barclays Global Investors,Accenture,Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, The White House, Dept. of State, AT&T,Bank of America,American Association of Clinical Pharmacies,Ritz Carlton Hotels, Hilton Hotels, Marriott Hotels,Starwood Hotels,and many more.

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