Social Etiquette and Good Manners/An awkward letter
acquaintance whose father died a month ago. She and I are not close - that's why I didn't hear of his death until now. However, she was extremely helpful to our family in my father's final illness and I would like to acknowledge her loss.
The problem is that I didn't know her father well and what I did know isn't good. He told her more than 10 years ago that he never wanted to see her again - over something that was trivial at most and none of his business anyway. I don't know whether they ever reconciled or not.
How do I word the letter?
Focus on your friend, not on the person who passed. Keep your message simple and supportive since you did not have a very close relationship.
In this instance I tend to write a card that focuses less on the person who died, and more on the impact that person you know. I write things like, "I am sorry to hear of your recent loss. I want to send my warm thoughts your way. I pray for you and your family to feel peace during this time." "Even though I cannot be with you during this sad time, please know that I care about you and I am thinking of you. "