Expert: Amanda Gamble - 10/10/2004

Question
We have accepted an invitation to go to a high priced charity
dinner.  Our hosts paid for our ticket.  We have a family
emergency and cannot attend.  We also cannot find the
telephone number or email of the couple who invited us (we are
not close friends by any means).  Is it best to not go and explain
the situation to them the next time we see them, or is it better
to find someone to go in our stead, even though they will be
strangers to the couple who invited us?  (As I said, we are not
close friends with our inviters and so do not share the same
group of friends.)

Answer
Dear Barbara,
 That is a dilemma! Am I to assume that you already
have left town and this event is in the next day or
so? If not,please consider dropping a note off for
your hosts at the site of the dinner. Or at the very
least leave a message to be delivered by the staff
at the hotel via telephone.  An apology and explanation
is owed to them. I would NOT send a couple in your place.
I am sure that your hosts are reasonable people who will understand why you couldn't attend.   
   Write a follow up note again stating your regret. There
is no need to go into great detail over the nature of the
emergency,a few well chosen words will do.

                                        Best regards,
                                           Amanda Gamble