About Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). Expertise As an author, educator, newspaper columnist and trainer in the field of manners and etiquette, I am able to answer questions on every aspect of social etiquette and good manners. I cover adult and children`s manners,introductions, dining skills, verbal and written communication (including e-mail, cell phone and regular telephone etiquette), tipping, weddings, travel, births, death and funerals, proper attire for every occasion, office etiquette, invitations, entertaining, the roles of a host and a guest, thank you notes, family life, interviews, gift-giving, graduations, good grooming, disabled persons, hotels,school manners, good sportsmanship,respect, manners in public places( the theater, movies, church, shopping, restaurants, etc.), being a good neighbor, and being considerate of others.
Experience I am the originator of national Children's Good Manners Month (September) and founder of The Good Manners Club. My school program "Manners Do Matter" is used successfully throughout the United States.
I teach manners and etiquette at the University of Connecticut, Central Connecticut State University, United Technologies Corporation, Cigna Corporation and The Archdiocese of Hartford Catholic Schools.
I wrote and recorded my Dr. Manners' Moments for Radio Disney, which aired for nearly two years. I was a regular contributor on WVIT-TV NBC30 during 2002 and 2003. I was a regular etiquette expert on WTIC (Radio)for nearly 3 years. I have been interviewed by radio stations, television stations, newspapers and other publications around the world. I recently appeared in an episode of the television show Survival Guide, on the Fine Living Network on Personal Etiquette and am a consultant for the Network. I was asked to write an article for The New York Times on Manners and Etiquette for the Summer, which was published on Sunday, May 16, 2004.
I have visited dozens of schools, public and private; worked with The Girl Scouts; various community groups (including Chambers of Commerce and Senior Citizen Groups); church groups,and more.
I am a former elementary school principal and a former elementary school teacher.
Additionally, I have authored several books and booklets on manners and etiquette.
I have been a manners advice newspaper columnist for nine years.
My education includes:
Ph.D. in Education, LaSalle University;
Administrator Certification, Sacred Heart University;
Teacher Certification, Central Connecticut State University;
B.A. in English, Nazareth College of Rochester;
Etiquette Consultant Certification
Expert: Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). - 9/8/2004
Question A friend was granted use of my home over the weekend while I was away. While in her care, the home was left open and a very expensive, cherished statue was stolen. Upon my arrival home, she waited 12 hours to tell me and absolutely refused to take responsibility or even apologize. She acted as if it were "no big deal".
Question: When you loan someone your property, are they not responsible for what goes on there while it is under their care? What are the guidelines for this? Are we out of line to ask her to help replace it or pay for the reward if found?
THank you for your time.
Answer Dear Laura,
This is as much a legal issue as it is a moral and ethical one.
To begin with, your friend is no friend. As soon as she noticed the statue was missing, she should have notified you. Her irresponsible behavior and carelessness in leaving your home open was disrespectful. Her lack of remorse was inappropriate and shows that she is unethical and self-centered. When a person is granted the use of another's home, he or she should be extra diligent about taking care of the other person's belongings and property.
Is there any possibility that she or someone she knows took the statue?
At this point, you should contact the police and have them start an investigation into the matter. They will, undoubtedly question her, and perhaps then she will realize how inappropriate her attitude has been regarding this matter. I hope that your statue is covered under your insurance policy.
You may want to contact your attorney regarding this matter to find out if she is responsible for paying for the statue.
In the future, if you ever allow any one to use your home while you are away, leave a list of rules to follow and go over the rules with the person before you leave.
Good luck in retrieving your statue. Please let me know what happens when and if this is resolved.
Thank you for writing.
Best regards,
Fleming Allaire, Ph.D.
"Dr. Manners"
