Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Theatre manners

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Question
I read somewhere that it was not appropriate for ladies to stand at performances when others in the audience are giving a standing ovation. Is this true?

Answer
Dear Ms. Tabacinski,

I would be interested to know where you read that it was not appropriate for women to give standing ovations, because I have never heard of it before.

Although, frequently in today's society some of the audience members stand, while others remain seated at a performance. Those remaining seated, especially at the opera, become annoyed because they cannot see the performers on stage when this happens.

Years ago, a performance had to be superb and outstanding for a performer to receive a standing ovation. It seems that theatre and concert-goers now are not as particular and give standing ovations more freely.

I recently read in an article that some concert halls may begin to flash signs at the end of performances that state "stand now and applaud for the standing ovation."  Some performers made comments that they felt terrible if they didn't receive one at the end of each performance.

So as far as I am concerned, if you wish to stand for an ovation, by all means do so.  I do at the theatre or a concert, when performers have given a wonderful performance.

Thank you for writing.

Best regards,
Fleming Allaire, Ph.D.
"Dr. Manners"  

Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM).

Expertise

As an author, educator, newspaper columnist and trainer in the field of manners and etiquette, I am able to answer questions on every aspect of social etiquette and good manners. I cover adult and children`s manners,introductions, dining skills, verbal and written communication (including e-mail, cell phone and regular telephone etiquette), tipping, weddings, travel, births, death and funerals, proper attire for every occasion, office etiquette, invitations, entertaining, the roles of a host and a guest, thank you notes, family life, interviews, gift-giving, graduations, good grooming, disabled persons, hotels,school manners, good sportsmanship,respect, manners in public places( the theater, movies, church, shopping, restaurants, etc.), being a good neighbor, and being considerate of others.

Experience

I am the originator of national Children's Good Manners Month (September) and founder of The Good Manners Club. My school program "Manners Do Matter" is used successfully throughout the United States. I teach manners and etiquette at the University of Connecticut, Central Connecticut State University, United Technologies Corporation, Cigna Corporation and The Archdiocese of Hartford Catholic Schools. I wrote and recorded my Dr. Manners' Moments for Radio Disney, which aired for nearly two years. I was a regular contributor on WVIT-TV NBC30 during 2002 and 2003. I was a regular etiquette expert on WTIC (Radio)for nearly 3 years. I have been interviewed by radio stations, television stations, newspapers and other publications around the world. I recently appeared in an episode of the television show Survival Guide, on the Fine Living Network on Personal Etiquette and am a consultant for the Network. I was asked to write an article for The New York Times on Manners and Etiquette for the Summer, which was published on Sunday, May 16, 2004. I have visited dozens of schools, public and private; worked with The Girl Scouts; various community groups (including Chambers of Commerce and Senior Citizen Groups); church groups,and more. I am a former elementary school principal and a former elementary school teacher. Additionally, I have authored several books and booklets on manners and etiquette. I have been a manners advice newspaper columnist for nine years. My education includes: Ph.D. in Education, LaSalle University; Administrator Certification, Sacred Heart University; Teacher Certification, Central Connecticut State University; B.A. in English, Nazareth College of Rochester; Etiquette Consultant Certification

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