About Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). Expertise As an author, educator, newspaper columnist and trainer in the field of manners and etiquette, I am able to answer questions on every aspect of social etiquette and good manners. I cover adult and children`s manners,introductions, dining skills, verbal and written communication (including e-mail, cell phone and regular telephone etiquette), tipping, weddings, travel, births, death and funerals, proper attire for every occasion, office etiquette, invitations, entertaining, the roles of a host and a guest, thank you notes, family life, interviews, gift-giving, graduations, good grooming, disabled persons, hotels,school manners, good sportsmanship,respect, manners in public places( the theater, movies, church, shopping, restaurants, etc.), being a good neighbor, and being considerate of others.
Experience I am the originator of national Children's Good Manners Month (September) and founder of The Good Manners Club. My school program "Manners Do Matter" is used successfully throughout the United States.
I teach manners and etiquette at the University of Connecticut, Central Connecticut State University, United Technologies Corporation, Cigna Corporation and The Archdiocese of Hartford Catholic Schools.
I wrote and recorded my Dr. Manners' Moments for Radio Disney, which aired for nearly two years. I was a regular contributor on WVIT-TV NBC30 during 2002 and 2003. I was a regular etiquette expert on WTIC (Radio)for nearly 3 years. I have been interviewed by radio stations, television stations, newspapers and other publications around the world. I recently appeared in an episode of the television show Survival Guide, on the Fine Living Network on Personal Etiquette and am a consultant for the Network. I was asked to write an article for The New York Times on Manners and Etiquette for the Summer, which was published on Sunday, May 16, 2004.
I have visited dozens of schools, public and private; worked with The Girl Scouts; various community groups (including Chambers of Commerce and Senior Citizen Groups); church groups,and more.
I am a former elementary school principal and a former elementary school teacher.
Additionally, I have authored several books and booklets on manners and etiquette.
I have been a manners advice newspaper columnist for nine years.
My education includes:
Ph.D. in Education, LaSalle University;
Administrator Certification, Sacred Heart University;
Teacher Certification, Central Connecticut State University;
B.A. in English, Nazareth College of Rochester;
Etiquette Consultant Certification
Expert: Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). - 8/31/2004
Question I figured it was ok to tip them but I am more curious if I am supposed to. Is it poor etiquette not to? I never have and my friends gave me a ton of grief over it saying it was unheard of NOT to tip them. I had never given it any thought since there is no bucket and I always pay with credit card and the credit card receipt does not have a tip line as there is when you pay at a restaurant. Am I evil?
-------------------------
Followup To
Question -
Are you supposed to tip the car wash personnel??
Answer -
Dear Christine,
Yes, you can tip the car wash attendants, if you like. Sometimes there is a tipping bucket at the end of the car wash as you leave, where you can place a $1 or $2. The attendants usually split it at the end of the day. If there is not a bucket or receptacle for the tip, it is all right to hand it to one of them and mention dividing it up.
Thank you for writing.
Best regards,
Fleming Allaire, Ph.D.
"Dr. Manners"
Answer Dear Christine,
You are certainly not evil for not tipping them, but they do most likely make minimum wage and it is a service business. Just as other service businesses, if someone does a good job, he or she is rewarded with a tip. Tips may not always be expected, but they are always appreciated. Try it the next time you have your car washed and see what reaction you get from the attendants. Often when a customer tips on a regular basis in a service business where you are a return customer, you will receive better service and the attendants seem friendlier. A dollar or two may not seem a lot to you, but it may really help out a minimum wager.
If you do decide to tip them, please let me know how things turn out.
Thank you for writing.
Best regards,
Fleming Allaire, Ph.D.
"Dr. Manners"
