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About Jay Remer
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
I am happy to answer any questions about social or corporate etiquette as well as questions regarding international protocol. It is important to practice civility. It is contagious.

Experience
I am certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. I have been entertaining and giving advise on entertaining for over 40 years.

Publications
Weekly column in Telegraph Journal

Education/Credentials
Graduate of Protocol School of Washington

   

You are here:  Experts > Health/Fitness > Self-Improvement/Self-Help > Social Etiquette and Good Manners

Questions Answered By Expert  Jay Remer 
In Category  Social Etiquette and Good Manners

SubjectDate Asked

white on cruises10/11/2008
  Q: Does the "do not wear white after Labor Day." rule apply to cruise ships? I say "no" and my ...
  A: You win on this one. Not only does the rule not apply to cruise ships, it's even being extended a ...
50 th weddng anniversary10/10/2008
  Q: We belong to a club and one of our members is having a 50th wedding anniversary. We would like to ...
  A: Variations on this question are asked every week. The answer is always the same. There really is no ...
Proper etiquette for testing blood sugar10/10/2008
  Q: My friend is insulin dependent diabetic. Before she begins a meal she will take out her tester and ...
  A: Life does present us with a number of sensitive situations. This is one. Oddly enough, we have no ...
Proper etiquette for testing blood sugar10/9/2008
  Q: My friend is insulin dependent diabetic. Before she begins a meal she will take out her tester and ...
  A: I would be totally offended too. Your friend should never do this at the table. This should be ...
sending out wedding invitations10/8/2008
  Q: Is the proper etiquette to not send an invitation to someone who has already told you they will be ...
  A: The answer is no. It is not proper etiquette to not send that person an invitation. If they are on ...
Rude speakers10/7/2008
  Q: Twice in the last several years I have attended events associated with adult alumni at which a ...
  A: The coincidence of this happening twice in a row begs the question of what kind of alumni ...
etiquette10/6/2008
  Q: I would like to host a party at a restaurant. How can I word the invitation so that it is clear ...
  A: When you invite someone to a party, whether at your home or a restaurant, it is understood that you ...
Proper address10/5/2008
  Q: how do you address a person who has a PhD?
  A: If someone has a Ph.D., let's say in English or History, they are addressed as Mr. or Ms. unless ...
Teenager Rude with Houseguest10/4/2008
  Q: We have a behavior issue with our otherwise good 15 year old teenager and we are not certain how to ...
  A: This is not really an issue about being rude. In my opinion your son is depressed, and telling him ...
Gifts between friends10/2/2008
  Q: A good friend and I, both single parents, have exchanged Christmas and b-day gifts for many years. ...
  A: It really isn't a question of etiquette as it is one for some good advice which I am happy to give ...
Belated wedding presents10/2/2008
  Q: In the past, I have neglected to give wedding presents to friends of mine when they got married. ...
  A: I would handle this situation by giving the couples anniversary gifts. I would avoid asking them ...
office whistler9/30/2008
  Q: There is a very sweet lady who works in our very small office and whistles often. This drives me ...
  A: Let's begin with the last sentence. I understand your not wanting to hurt her feelings. No one wants ...
Engagement party9/30/2008
  Q: I have recently been invited to an engagement party/bbq and was wondering, are you supposed to bring ...
  A: Although there is nothing that says that you have to bring a gift, I think it would be in very poor ...
belated sympathy9/29/2008
  Q: I just found out that a good friend lost her mother 2 months ago. We have not been in contact for ...
  A: It is never too late to express your heart felt sympathy to your friend over her loss. "Busy lives ...
Engagement etiquette9/29/2008
  Q: My daughter and her boyfriend just got engaged. They are well into their thirties. Should I ...
  A: As your daughter and her boyfriend are adults, hopefully gainfully employed, it is really up to them ...
mother's 80th bday9/26/2008
  Q: I have a room booked for my mother's birthday. I have 4 siblings who have children who are grown and ...
  A: which by the way has been answered many many times on here. The answer is YES. If you invite people ...
Using a gift certificate if we dine with another couple9/26/2008
  Q: We are going to dinner with friends. We have a gift certificate to the restaurant. can we use that ...
  A: It is perfectly fine to use your gift certificate. However, I would arrange payment out of view of ...
advice needed for encroaching priest9/25/2008
  Q: I need some sound advice. Please help. we own 2 homes in different parts of Texas due to a work ...
  A: I applaud you and your husband for trying to find a tactful way of saying no, but please remember, ...
walking etiquette9/24/2008
  Q: When on an outting, does the man walk ahead of or behind the woman
  A: Today, in the US or Canada, men and women walk side by side. The old custom of the gentleman walking ...
Thank you9/23/2008
  Q: I recently hosted a couples baby shower for friends of mine. I put a lot of work into it (hand made ...
  A: I am appalled. The very least you should have gotten was a beautiful hand written note. A phone call ...
Child's Birthday Invitation9/22/2008
  Q: In the past parents have asked exactly what type of gift should they bring from my son. I've ...
  A: You cannot mention gifts on an invitation - ever - unless it's "best wishes only". So tacky would be ...
Who pays for the wedding when the bride's parents are divorced9/22/2008
  Q: My step-daughter just got engaged and is just starting to plan her wedding. Her father and I have ...
  A: The finances are one of the first, if not the first, things that need to be addressed. Your ...
Wedding Thank You's9/21/2008
  Q: We requested that instead of a gift a donation to our Temple would be appreciated. Do we need to ...
  A: Customarily the Temple would forward you a list of donors. You would write to each one, just as you ...
Etiquette question9/15/2008
  Q: I recently entered a bank and the gentleman walking towards the bank in front of me stopped and ...
  A: No is the answer. Being polite and courteous makes both parties feel good. He wanted you to go ahead ...
looking and hello9/14/2008
  Q: (Hi, I'm 22. last week we went to a family party. After we arrived my cousin and my aunt arrived and ...
  A: Your English, by the way, is very understandable. People should look at one another when speaking. ...
Memorial service9/13/2008
  Q: My brother passed away last month and was creamated. We had a small church service, and than a ...
  A: In short, there is no correct way to do this. If you extend an invitation you are obliged to pay the ...
regarding social etiquette9/12/2008
  Q: My husband is on a business trip to edinburgh and i have accompanied him. His boss has invited us ...
  A: An appropriate hostess gift would be a box of chocolates. Try to find a shop where they make ...
Hairdresser ediquite9/9/2008
  Q: My hairdersser was just married. Is a just card appropriate, or should a gift be given. And what ...
  A: The choice is yours on this one. You are not obliged to give a gift. A card would be appreciated, ...
Addressing letters9/9/2008
  Q: How do you address a letter or invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Doctors? Dr. and Dr? Dr. and Drs? Dr. ...
  A: If they share the same last name, you can address the invitation to The Doctors Doe or to Dr. John ...
Informal use of First Names? Which name is listed first?9/7/2008
  Q: Jill and John Smith or John and Jill Smith I have always thought that the rule was never ...
  A: I know of no such rule. The man's name, in our male dominated society, precedes the woman's name. So ...
envelope addressing9/5/2008
  Q: I am addressing envelopes to a husband and wife who are both practicing physicians. How do I ...
  A: If they both use the same last name. you can address the envelope to The Doctors Doe or Dr. John Doe ...
Death of a beloved pet9/4/2008
  Q: I have a co worker that is planning to put down his beloved pet dog this Saturday. I want to send ...
  A: Having owned many dogs over the years, I can relate to this situation. What we do when friends must ...
College Graduation9/4/2008
  Q: I am gong to be graduating from college this December, and I am not sure about proper college ...
  A: And, congratulations! Whoever told you that you can do whatever you want is grossly misinformed. ...
Gift Giving to your Guests9/3/2008
  Q: I'm planning my 40th birthday party and I wanted to know if it is customary for the honoree to give ...
  A: It is not necessarily customary for the birthday girl to give gifts to her guests, however it is ...
Sympathy card w/money9/3/2008
  Q: My boss gave me a sympathy card with money in it to use as needed. What is the proper "thank you ...
  A: A sincere hand written note expressing your gratitude for your boss acknowledging your loss and time ...
wedding etiquette9/2/2008
  Q: I'm going to a Black Tie Optional wedding next week, early September in the midwest where it's still ...
  A: In this day and age, unless you're meeting the Queen, hose is not required. Furthermore, it would be ...
Family visits8/30/2008
  Q: When we visit my brother -in law for several days they don't change the bedding or have soap to bath ...
  A: I can understand your confusion. Different people run their households differently. Personally, when ...
Loss of unborn child8/29/2008
  Q: I would like to express my sympathy to a close friend who just lost her unborn child, what would be ...
  A: This is a time of intense grief for your friend (and her husband if he is present). Be sincere when ...
Doing the right thing8/27/2008
  Q: An adult guest visits our home sits in a childs chair which breaks as a result of his weight, should ...
  A: The correct thing to do is for the person breaking anything to offer to pay for repairs or ...
Etiquette question8/27/2008
  Q: My boyfriend and I just got in a fight about this issue so I wanted to get a second opinion. On my ...
  A: I must side totally with your boyfriend on this issue and I will explain exactly why. The evening ...
Proper greetings.8/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper way to greet someone? I have heard people say "Nice to see you" as well as "Nice ...
  A: The proper way to greet someone is to say "How do you do, Ms. Smith. My name is John Doe". Nice to ...
wedding invite8/24/2008
  Q: My husband's sister is getting married. The invite was addressed to Mr & Mrs Joe Smith, Mr Bobby ...
  A: There is no doubt that this is an awkward situation. However, what you are suggesting will make ...
Fathers Day Lunch8/24/2008
  Q: My daughter visited her father and stepmother (they have been married 9 years)for Father's Day ...
  A: I understand your point of view. And were there a number of people going to the lunch I would agree. ...
Proper Etiquette8/24/2008
  Q: I am an 18 year old planning a trip to South Africa this November. I will be staying with a local, ...
  A: South Africa is a beautiful country with two completely different cultural backgrounds. The fact ...
Farewell Dinner Party8/22/2008
  Q: I am a bit confused about proper etiquette regarding the following situation. A friend (of 12 ...
  A: This situation does not call for either party to hold a dinner party. Both you and your friend could ...
invitees8/21/2008
  Q: We followed invitation addressing protocol. Yet, my cousin emails me that her son & daughter in law ...
  A: I would answer the e-mail by saying you are sorry her son and daughter in law are unable to come. ...
Family Bridal Shower8/19/2008
  Q: Is it proper for the bride and her mother and/or grandmother to assist in planning the family bridal ...
  A: Today, many bridal showers are hosted by the maid of honor, but not all. It is certainly acceptable ...
Social etiquette8/16/2008
  Q: My son recently got married. His bride did not take is last name. She uses her maiden name.If I ...
  A: You are correct in the first instance: Jon Doe and Mary Smith. Envelopes are addressed Mr. Jon Doe ...
opening birthday gifts8/15/2008
  Q: I'm hosting a party for my daughter's 50th birthday. There will be approximately 40 guests. ...
  A: There is no 'proper' in this case. I think it's always exciting to see the gifts and to see the ...
Relatives that stay too long8/15/2008
  Q: My inlaws come to town twice a year and always stay for 2 weeks. I feel that it is a long time to ...
  A: I assume you are asking this question because they are staying in your house as opposed to a local ...
Bridal showers8/10/2008
  Q: A couple I know is getting married. There are to be (3) bridal showers. One for family, one for ...
  A: You are old fashioned for which I applaud you. Sadly people today try to come up with brilliant ...
60th/70th Birthday Party Present8/6/2008
  Q: I'm hosting a bday party for my mom and dad who will be turning 60 and 70 respectively. My siblings ...
  A: I apologize for not having answered it yesterday. I think your idea is a brilliant one! This should ...
gift8/5/2008
  Q: We have had a business relationship with a company for years. They have been bought out by a couple ...
  A: There is no gift required in this situation. However, if you would like to extend a warm welcome to ...
invitation wording8/5/2008
  Q: I am the wife of an Air Force Command Chief and we are expecting the arrival of our new Wing ...
  A: As this casual party is going to be at your house, you have complete control of the guest list. It ...
Sympathy card8/4/2008
  Q: Is it proper to pass around a sympathy card for signature in a department (about 25 people) for the ...
  A: For a sympathy card, I think it best that everyone express their own feelings. The feelings one is ...
notes on hostess gifts7/30/2008
  Q: What is the proper etiquette regarding hostess gifts. Are you supposed to put a note on it so the ...
  A: It is always a good idea to attach a note of some kind to any gift you give. Imagine the confusion ...
Greetings7/30/2008
  Q: Jay! I own a coffee shop and am now asking my employees to use my name when they say "Hi" to me, my ...
  A: You are absolutely correct! Not only is it good manners; it is a job requirement now. You own your ...
sympathy card when 1 partner loses parent7/29/2008
  Q: My cousin's partner (they live together, own house together, are not kids--in 60's)just lost his ...
  A: What a sad time for both of them. However, mothers are mothers and in this case a card written to ...
Sitting on stage7/29/2008
  Q: Jay, To clarify my previous question; when I sit on the platform at church, I generally cross my ...
  A: There is no rule of etiquette addressing this particular matter. I think church platforms are ...
THANK YOU CARD7/26/2008
  Q: I SENT A H.S. GRADUATION CARD WITH A CHECK FOR A $100 TO MY FRIEND'S SON IN JUNE. THE CHECK WAS ...
  A: You should have received a thank-you note within a few days of giving the very generous gift. The ...
Table manners7/25/2008
  Q: When you are through eating, are the tines up or down? When you are resting during a meal, are ...
  A: In dining, there are two recognized styles of Western dining. They are American and Continental. In ...
Foreign Language7/25/2008
  Q: Two questions. Is it proper to engage in an entire (or partial)conversation in a foreign language ...
  A: Foreign language conversations in someone's house who doesn't speak the language are rude unless one ...
receiving wedding invitation7/23/2008
  Q: I recently received a wedding invitation addressed to me on the envelope. Inside the invitation was ...
  A: Generic RSVP cards can be problematic and in your case misleading. In fact, if the invitation is ...
restaurant manners7/22/2008
  Q: I am contacting you regarding two manner question.It is:What should I do with my tie during dinner ...
  A: You should do nothing with your tie. I advise keeping your suit jacket buttoned to prevent the tie ...
Engagement Gift7/18/2008
  Q: What is the going price for a high class engagement party. It is an engagement party with over 200 ...
  A: Frankly this is an odd question. Hosting parties and the budgets that go with them are very ...
Mr. Doe III? or John III?7/16/2008
  Q: For a full name of John Doe, III. 1. How should I be addressed or introduced formally? As “Mr. ...
  A: I have a suffix, so I know what you're dealing with. In answer toy our first question, formally you ...
Birthday wording etiquette7/15/2008
  Q: My niece just sent my sister a e greeting for her 60th birthday which reads "may you have good ...
  A: I agree with both you and your sister. What an inappropriate way to phrase 'best wishes'. Your niece ...
protolcol for wedding invites7/9/2008
  Q: we are getting marriage next year and am perplexed at the correct order of names on the invites is ...
  A: For wedding invitations, Mr. precedes Mrs. or Ms. - always. I know there will be a lot of questions ...
check cashing7/7/2008
  Q: What is the appropriate span of time that you should wait to cash a personal check? i know someone ...
  A: Fortunately there are banking regulations in place which protect everyone. Usually there is a 3 to 6 ...
Bringing food to a potluck7/6/2008
  Q: My wife and I are invited to a poolside potluck dinner on a summer's hot day, held by a couple we ...
  A: You are quite right about the host calling the shots for the menu. I have to say that for an ...
Dessert6/29/2008
  Q: I was recently at my boyfriend's friends' house for dinner. I brought a dessert (lemon meringue ...
  A: The bottom line is that the hostess acted correctly and you made the mistake. Having said that, what ...
wedding shower6/28/2008
  Q: I wanted to have a church wedding shower for a friend in my home and only ask those in the church ...
  A: No, you are not a jerk. It was also perfectly fine for the other bride to want to have her own ...
In laws not greeting when they come to my house6/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper etiquette for greeting for a family to follow if they go to other familys homes? ...
  A: Some people are naturally shy. Proper etiquette calls for people to introduce themselves to everyone ...
wedding shower6/27/2008
  Q: I wanted to have a church wedding shower for a friend in my home and only ask those in the church ...
  A: You were absolutely correct. It was your party. You control the guest list. Even if you asked for ...
wedding shower gifts6/26/2008
  Q: I am invited to a wedding shower for my son and his fiance that is being hosted by her aunt and ...
  A: Everyone invited to a shower is expected to bring a gift. Being family, you should know what the ...
College Graduation Announcements6/25/2008
  Q: Mr. Jay Remer, Our son completed his Final Defense in May and will go through the formal university ...
  A: Congratulations on your son's great accomplishment. It is absolutely appropriate to include the ...
job transfer6/25/2008
  Q: I am applying for a position within my same company. Is it ok if I call the supervisor who will be ...
  A: I would advise against calling the supervisor. First of all, what would the purpose of the call be? ...
Adoption Ceremony Dinner6/23/2008
  Q: Invited to dinner following adoption ceremony of niece's child. Just attended and gifted at ...
  A: I think you've done your bit as far as gifts go. I have a friend who adopted a child and the number ...
gift-giving protocol6/22/2008
  Q: For many months, my husband has been in physical therapy rehab. He is about to be discharged, and ...
  A: Heart-felt notes, hand written, are always very much appreciated. Obviously these people have made a ...
wedding invitation6/20/2008
  Q: Nearly 3 months have passed since I split from a business partnership and I just received an ...
  A: I would not read too much into this invitation. You may never know what the intent behind sending it ...
Graduation Gifts6/20/2008
  Q: My son is graduating high school and is invited to over 10 graduation parties. Should he bring a ...
  A: I do not think it is necessary or even advisable for high school students to give gifts to their ...
phrases6/19/2008
  Q: where did the term "bar hopping" come from?
  A: The term has its roots in the 19th century, beginning with the beer crawl. It is really a ...
Late Graduation Announcements6/19/2008
  Q: I am a few weeks late sending out my high school graduations and I was wondering if it is all right ...
  A: It is absolutely fine to include both logos on your announcement. Carefully word the text and make ...
introduction6/19/2008
  Q: kindly give an example of how to introduce a lower staff member to the MD
  A: You always state the name of the person of higher rank first. So in this case, you would say, "Dr. ...
Debut Party6/18/2008
  Q: My 20 year old son has been invited to a friend's debut pre-party at an old money, very prestigious ...
  A: I have been to a lot of debutante parties, but never to a pre-party. This sounds a bit ...
wedding seating6/17/2008
  Q: Where do I sit my daughter's future mother-in-law at my son's wedding? Thanks.
  A: I don't know how the tables are being arranged or who the guests are, but I am going to assume that ...
Entering and getting seated in a restaurant in the company of a lady6/17/2008
  Q: Upon entering a restaurant what is the proper procedure for checking in at the reception desk or ...
  A: The question is multifaceted, so I am going to address those specific questions you mentioned and ...
returning son's birthday gift6/16/2008
  Q: my son just turned 3 and received a gift from my husband's brother and his wife brought to the party ...
  A: I think we are getting somewhere now. I am glad that you have a 'great' relationship with MIL. This ...
stepson's graduation party6/16/2008
  Q: My husband and I have been married for over 5 years my daughter finished high school last year and I ...
  A: Who's in charge here? There are no rules as to whose extended family is or isn't invited. It's up to ...
party etiquette6/14/2008
  Q: I have a family member who is having a graduation party for her daughter. They have invited over 100 ...
  A: I quite agree with you in this particular case, as the invitations have already ben sent. Normally ...
High School Graduation6/14/2008
  Q: My grandson who lives out of state sent a high school graduation invitation to my sister and her ...
  A: Your answer to her question was absolutely correct. Her response was rude and disrespectful. She ...
retirement party6/13/2008
  Q: My children are giving a retirement party for me. Should I be getting them a gift as a thank you? ...
  A: Strictly speaking you do not need to buy them a gift, bit I think it would be appropriate. I love ...
returning son's birthday gift6/12/2008
  Q: my son just turned 3 and received a gift from my husband's brother and his wife brought to the party ...
  A: I figured there would be a follow up. This a complex issue. Of course you would have appreciated the ...
Dating a Recent Widower6/11/2008
  Q: A man who I used to be in love with lost his wife the end of March. I sent a sympathy card and he ...
  A: I meant to mention him in my first answer. Again, it depends on how his grieving is going. It sounds ...
Dating a Recent Widower6/11/2008
  Q: A man who I used to be in love with lost his wife the end of March. I sent a sympathy card and he ...
  A: There really are no hard and fast rules for this. I think after you have finished mourning the loss ...
anniversaries6/9/2008
  Q: O.K. here's the outline. If my neice and her husband are having a wedding anniversary (not a party ...
  A: Clearer, yes. There is never an inappropriate time to acknowledge such occasions. It's sort of like ...
Fiance Master Degree Graduation Gift6/9/2008
  Q: My Fiance is 45 and graduating from the Industrial College of the Armed Forces (ICAF), War College ...
  A: It looks like the ball is in your court. Your fiance gave you an answer but left the door open. I ...
Graduation announcements6/9/2008
  Q: My son received his undergraduate degree with honors three weeks ago. (just received his final ...
  A: Congratulations to your son. That is truly a great accomplishment. It is not too late to send out ...
business telephone manners6/7/2008
  Q: I recently called a hair salon in my town to make an appointment to use a gift card. After a few ...
  A: You are absolutely correct on two counts. One, the receptionist was rude, bordering on ...
introducing an unmarried couple6/6/2008
  Q: My Mom falls over introductions when she introduces me (female daughter 60 unmarried) and my life ...
  A: First, let me congratulate you for picking a life partner during the prime of your life! There is no ...
Graduation gifts6/6/2008
  Q: Our son is graduating from high school. Our family has flown in from all over the country for this ...
  A: In this case, there are no 'shoulds'. It's a kind of case by case scenario. Some people may want to ...
full dress on cruises6/5/2008
  Q: At one time in our history, wearing full dress or white tie and tails on a cruise was expected. Now ...
  A: Dress codes certainly have relaxed over the last couple of decades. There are no doubt a variety of ...
Graduation Gift Etiquette6/3/2008
  Q: What would be the proper gift etiquette when you're invited to your boss's sons graduation open ...
  A: From an etiquette viewpoint, it really doesn't matter who the invitation is for or from. The same ...
Graduation6/3/2008
  Q: Hope you can help me. I can't decide to have some type of get together for my daughter's graduation ...
  A: You do wait til the last minute, don't you? There is no dilemma here. You want to throw a party. You ...
Medical school announcement6/3/2008
  Q: My cousin's wife just graduated from medical school and will start a pediatric residency. She just ...
  A: Graduating from medical school in your late 40's is a whole lot different than graduating from high ...
gift giving6/2/2008
  Q: The daughter of my husband's business partner is getting married. We are not invited to the ...
  A: As I have said before, there is rarely an inappropriate time to give a gift. It is really up to you. ...
How to construct a message regarding monetary gift for wedding.6/2/2008
  Q: My fiancé and I were getting married this 08-08-08 here in the Philippines. And we are having a hard ...
  A: I completely understand your situation; however gifts are not mentioned on an invitation at all - ...
Help?6/1/2008
  Q: My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, never married, no ...
  A: There is no recorded protocol or etiquette for this situation, so what we use is common sense. After ...
Graduation Invitation6/1/2008
  Q: My husband and I received a graduation invitation from the grandaughter of a friend that we are no ...
  A: Your husband is right in my view for two reasons. First of all, the invitation should have been sent ...
Grad Parties5/31/2008
  Q: What is the gift-giving etiquette for graduation parties? Who would and who wouldn't bring a gift? ...
  A: Giving gifts at graduations is much like giving gifts at other occasions. It is totally at the ...
How do I not invite someone to a party5/29/2008
  Q: I have a rather delicate situation. I'm having a party and wish to invite my husband's ...
  A: Great question!! You do not have to feel obligated to invite her at all. It's your party and you ...
Wedding etiquette5/28/2008
  Q: A close friend is getting married on the same day as my brother. Even though she knows I will not be ...
  A: You send your note of regret to the parents, as they were the ones who issued the invitation and are ...
Political Emails and Responses5/28/2008
  Q: I have another one for you. My brother has not been returning my calls and emails for about a week ...
  A: Here is my take on the situation. If you really enjoy having e-mail conversations with your brother, ...
Boss wedding5/28/2008
  Q: My boss is getting married and having destination wedding. Nonoe from the office is invited. Do I ...
  A: In my opinion, if you were not invited, a gift from you is not necessary; however, it would perhaps ...
invitation5/28/2008
  Q: A long time girlfriend and I had decided to have a girls' poker nite since we don't see each other ...
  A: To be honest with you, the hostess generally controls the guest list. However, since you both ...
Getting Thank yous5/28/2008
  Q: We always send gifts (sometimes money) for Xmas, Birthdays etc. to My niece, age 2l, living 4 hours ...
  A: Her mother needs to tell her in no uncertain terms that thank-you notes are absolutely necessary. At ...
invitations5/27/2008
  Q: When do you use an 'at home' invitation? And how much information do you write on it? Can I use it ...
  A: I believe what you are referring to is an 'at home' card. Such cards contain the name and address of ...
Correcting people5/25/2008
  Q: Is it bad manners to correct an older person or someone in a higher position if he/she has made a ...
  A: I am on your side here. Just because someone is older, doesn't mean they're always correct. You can ...
Graduation Gift Giving5/24/2008
  Q: I am a high school chemistry teacher in my third year of teaching at a boarding school. Students ...
  A: Sorry to take so long in answering this question, but was called out of town suddenly. Thanks for ...
manners5/24/2008
  Q: If I enter an office or a room is it impolite to say "Good morning" (e.g.)? I was brought up to do ...
  A: You were brought up correctly. Saying good morning is the polite thing to do when entering the ...
Etiquette5/23/2008
  Q: I was out at lunch with a friend and another woman who lives very close by but whom I don't want to ...
  A: My goodness, you have a real knack for attracting odd people. Again, you lead yourself right into ...
Etiquette5/23/2008
  Q: Recently someone who I believe should have known better asked me out but asked could he come over ...
  A: It's hard really to know where to start with this one, perhaps with accepting the invitation to ...
Protocal5/23/2008
  Q: What is the protocol for sending out High School Senior announcements - two weeks prior, a month?? ...
  A: Announcements go out two weeks after the ceremony. Invitations go out two weeks prior. It is ...
sympathy cards5/22/2008
  Q: What family members should be included in cards of sympathy? My mother recently passed away and ...
  A: However unfair this may seem, there are those who feel there is a formality of writing sympathy ...
Monetary Wedding Gift5/21/2008
  Q: The President of our company's daughter is getting married. I have been invited to the wedding ...
  A: This is not a contest. Gifts are given according to the relationship the person has with the ...
Childrens Birthday parties5/11/2008
  Q: Against my better judgement I took my 3 year old to a birthday party for a 5 year old friend of the ...
  A: My sincerest apologies. I had answered this question before I went on vacation but the answer ...
Bar Mitzvah RSVP Etiquette5/9/2008
  Q: How do I respond when and ivitation is addressed to "Mr. & Mrs.John Doe" and the response card comes ...
  A: How rude can some people be! I'm afraid you'll have to phone them and explain that due to space and ...
adoption5/8/2008
  Q: We are adopting our toddler grandson & want to give a thank you gift to the worker who has been ...
  A: Any time you are giving a gift, your financial circumstances must always be considered. What's ...
Graduation Invitations5/8/2008
  Q: Please tell me how do I address an invitation to a couple that are not married and their children? ...
  A: To address an unmarried couple and their children, the order is Mr. (full name) and Ms.(full name) ...
Graduation Ceremony Etiquette5/7/2008
  Q: My husband is graduationg from Graduate School. When I graduated, I received a bouquet of flowers. ...
  A: I am a traditionalist. I advise that you give a monogrammed sterling silver pen and pencil set, gold ...
Return Address Labels for Graduation Announcements5/6/2008
  Q: Is it proper to use a return address label for a graduation announcement or should the return ...
  A: If you are hand writing the envelope it would be proper to hand write all of it, as opposed to just ...
introduction5/6/2008
  Q: What if your partner has invited people she know over to your house for a get together. Should the ...
  A: It would be correct protocol for the person who has invited the guests to make the introductions. If ...
college graduation gifts5/6/2008
  Q: My boyfriend's daughter is graduating from college - what would be an appropriate gift from me? We ...
  A: As I have answered in the past, the gift you decide to give depends on your financial situation and ...
Proper title for Mayor letter5/6/2008
  Q: Hello - I have to send a letter to a mayor of a city - what is the proper way to address him in the ...
  A: I am going to assume that you are in the US. It would be 'Dear Mr. Mayor' or 'Dear Madam Mayor'. On ...
returning of phone calls5/5/2008
  Q: I find it hurtful when people don't return phone calls in a reasonable time frame. I've had one ...
  A: It helps me to see the situation more clearly. If these people have a habit to behaving this way, ...
funeral thank you notes from wife5/5/2008
  Q: Who should receive a thank you note? Flower senders? Funeral service guests? Sympathy cards? ...
  A: Everyone loves a hand written thank-you card. However, it can be overwhelming, especially during a ...
Colleague's Good Morning Gesture5/5/2008
  Q: Every single morning - *every single morning* - a colleague of mine comes into my office and says ...
  A: I doubt Emily Post has any tips on such a matter, but I will give it my best shot. I can picture ...
graduation announcements5/4/2008
  Q: What is the correct way to enclose the enter envelope on graduation announcements? Do we just leave ...
  A: To be honest with you, I am not sure what you are referring to. However, I am going to guess that ...
returning of phone calls5/4/2008
  Q: I find it hurtful when people don't return phone calls in a reasonable time frame. I've had one ...
  A: Proper etiquette calls for phone calls to be returned within 48 hours. However, the way this is ...
SIgning Cadrds5/4/2008
  Q: My wife's Grandchildren, (I am her second husband) on their birthdays, she signs the cards, Grandpaw ...
  A: I understand your point of view. But in this case, your wife's "traditional" approach is probably ...
panty hose color for mother of the groom5/4/2008
  Q: I am wearing a black skirt and White dressy top for the wedding( the bridesmaid colors are black and ...
  A: Although this is not an etiquette question, I always have an opinion on stylish dressing. In my ...
House warming gifts5/3/2008
  Q: Family member recently moved into their 2nd home. We are going there for a birthday party. Do you ...
  A: It is up to you to decide. If you want to bring a birthday gift or a house warming gift, it is your ...
graduation party for 3 friends5/3/2008
  Q: We are hosting a H.S. Grad party for three seniors that grew up together on the same street. Some ...
  A: You do not worry about getting such a message across. Strictly speaking no one is obligated to bring ...
Addressing Graduation Invitations5/3/2008
  Q: Is it improper to address the outer envelope for graduation invitations using a computer ( my son's ...
  A: It is always nice to hand write invitation envelopes. Why not let him stuff them and you address ...
family manners5/2/2008
  Q: My partner says that when I come home from being at work all day that I shouldn't say "Hi how are ...
  A: This is well outside of strict etiquette, but because of my interest in human dynamics,I will give ...
family manners5/2/2008
  Q: My partner says that when I come home from being at work all day that I shouldn't say "Hi how are ...
  A: WOW! Thanks for asking this amazing question. This is going to be the subject of my next column. ...
DIVORCE OF SIBLING AND INVITATONS5/2/2008
  Q: HERE'S THE SITUATION, MY HUSBANDS BROTHER AND HIS WIFE OF 30 YRS ARE DIVORCING. IT IS NOT A MUTUAL ...
  A: You are right about the touchy situation. However, this upcoming event is all about your son, not ...
DIVORCE OF SIBLING AND INVITATONS5/2/2008
  Q: HERE'S THE SITUATION, MY HUSBANDS BROTHER AND HIS WIFE OF 30 YRS ARE DIVORCING. IT IS NOT A MUTUAL ...
  A: This is really case of human dynamics. If there is real bitterness going on in this divorce, this ...
Graduation Dinner5/2/2008
  Q: Our daughter is graduating from college in another state. We are all flying in for the graduation. ...
  A: Strict etiquette calls for the host to pay for the dinner. In this situation, I suggest that your ...
Plastic or real plates5/1/2008
  Q: My son got married and had a formal reception, the bride is from another state. We are now hosting ...
  A: It's really up to you. Having said that I would lean towards paper and plastic rather than going to ...
GRADUATION ETIQUETTE5/1/2008
  Q: A FRIEND OF MINE WAS INVITED TO HER NEPHEW'S GRADUATION CEREMONY WHERE THERE IS A $5 CHARGE FOR EACH ...
  A: It is generally up to the family who has obtained the tickets for a graduation ceremony to ...
apparel4/30/2008
  Q: A recent wedding invitation states the following. 50s theme black and white apparel What ...
  A: What this means is that you and your wife should wear black and white clothes that would have been ...
Accepting money from friends4/30/2008
  Q: I am currently going through a divorce and have 3 young children. My 8 girlfriends all pitched in ...
  A: First of all, tell your mother for me that she gives good advice! You are indeed blessed to have ...
High School Graduation Tea4/30/2008
  Q: Some of my friends are giving my daughter a graduation tea. As her mother, do I bring a present to ...
  A: Please remember that gifts should be neither expected nor required at any function. They are at the ...
College Graduation Announcement/Invitation4/30/2008
  Q: We recently received (3-1/2 weeks before the graduation ceremony) what I would term an invitation to ...
  A: You have landed yourself in a situation of bad planning on the part of your friend. I doubt there ...
re college graduation4/29/2008
  Q: My daughter who is graduating first in the family from college on May 10 from out of state, then ...
  A: First of all, congratulations to your daughter for this tremendous accomplishment. I am so glad you ...
Who to Invite to Graduation Open House4/29/2008
  Q: Where do you draw the line with inviting your co-workers to your child's graduation open house when ...
  A: You can invite as many people as you want to the open house. Remember the guiding principle. There ...
Neighbor's kids invite themselves over4/29/2008
  Q: I have some very nice neighbors, with some fairly 'pushy' children. We have a privacy fence, ...
  A: This an all too common problem. As I see it, you have two choices. Either speak with their mothers ...
Thank you notes4/28/2008
  Q: I had a baby shower recently and had about 30 guests. Many people brought gifts, but some did not. ...
  A: There's really nothing to debate here. How can you send a thank-you note for something you haven't ...
graduation announcements4/28/2008
  Q: My daughter is graduating from high school. should she send announcements with pictures to her ...
  A: You have put a new twist to a question I have answered before by throwing in the picture. I still ...
Which side to walk4/28/2008
  Q: At a recent high school prom, I noticed that the young men entered the stage for the Grand March ...
  A: You are correct half of the time. When walking on the street, the man always walks on the street ...
Party Invitations4/28/2008
  Q: When inviting a single person to a party at which most invitees will be couples, must you tell ...
  A: If you want your single guest to be able to bring a date, the add'and Guest' onto the invitation. ...
Monetary Thank you4/28/2008
  Q: I recently spent a week's vacation with my brother and family in Australia. There was three in our ...
  A: You did nothing wrong. Your brother would be wise to accept the give graciously and say 'thank-you'. ...
Extended family member of divorce4/28/2008
  Q: I have been divorced for over 4 years and have 2 daughters 18 & 21. My daughters and I do not like ...
  A: I can see why this is causing you and your daughters a lot of stress. Family dynamics can be quite ...
JOINT GRADUATION PARTY4/28/2008
  Q: A FRIEND'S SON IS HAVING A JOINT GRADUATION PARTY WITH HIS COUSIN. SHOULD WE BRING 1 OR 2 GIFTS?
  A: Giving gifts is completely at the discretion of the giver. Having said that, if you are planning to ...
High School Announcements4/28/2008
  Q: I was wondering if it is appropriate for my son to send announcements to his school friends(who are ...
  A: The answer is no. It is not necessary to send announcements to classmates. Announcements are usually ...
monster in law4/27/2008
  Q: Is their any ettiquete in ettiquete land on sending the grooms parents an invitation to the wedding? ...
  A: You definitely should receive an invitation. Perhaps all along she was planning for your son to hand ...
graduation announcement4/27/2008
  Q: I am graduating from university and am sending out my announcements. I am also very excited about ...
  A: The answer is yes. The wording could go something like this and you can design the announcement ...
Graduation cards vs. gifts4/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper ediquette for a college graduate gift? I always send high school graduates ...
  A: It all depends on your relationship with the graduate. Money is always appropriate as a gift as the ...
Ref: question4/27/2008
  Q: Good day, Lets say you are just starting out in business and trying to network with high profile men ...
  A: You are on the right track by being genuine. You will find that all people, men or women, rich or ...
dress for Celebration of Life4/26/2008
  Q: My daughters best freind (7 years old) passed away from Cancer this week. What do you wear to a ...
  A: It is so sad when a young child passes away. Your daughter must be devastated. My deepest ...
daughter's chiristening4/26/2008
  Q: we have been planning my daughter's christening since february. We have a lot of family members some ...
  A: There are two issues here. One is the desire to have a family photo and the other is the RSVP issue. ...
cash gifts to college graduates4/25/2008
  Q: I have two nephews graduating college in early May. I will not be attending either ceremony. I want ...
  A: Cash gifts are dependant on your financial situation. College graduations are more significant than ...
RE: Mother invited my aunt.4/25/2008
  Q: I invited my Mom and Dad to come to Hong Kong on a holiday and they will be staying at my home for 5 ...
  A: Once again, you are correct. I don't understand your mother's line of reasoning at all, nor your ...
graduation gift4/24/2008
  Q: My nephew has graduated from 4 yrs of university and his parents are throwing him a big party, Do I ...
  A: The answer is that it really is up to you. There is never any obligation to give someone a gift. A ...
Gift giving4/24/2008
  Q: I have two nephews (both out of state) that are graduating from college. They are both going on the ...
  A: And congratulations to your two nephews. This marks an important milestone in their lives. ...
RE: Mother invited my aunt.4/24/2008
  Q: I invited my Mom and Dad to come to Hong Kong on a holiday and they will be staying at my home for 5 ...
  A: You are absolutely right as far as your mother should have consulted you. She did not show you ...
graduation party4/23/2008
  Q: I am having a high school graduation party for my son at a local restaurant. I am paying the bill. ...
  A: The wording would go something like this. Mrs. Jane Doe cordially invites you attend a dinner in ...
Announcement vs invitation...4/22/2008
  Q: In the past I have had AN ANNOUNCEMNT of a party to be planned, because they needed input as to the ...
  A: What you are referring to is a "Save the Date Card". For this occasion, three to four weeks notice ...
50th Anniversary4/21/2008
  Q: My friend is celebrating her 50th Anniversary and will wear a long dress to a 2 p.m. reception. She ...
  A: It is improper to wear a long dress at 2 p.m. However, in this day and age, people do odd things. In ...
Sister in-law wants gift that was given back4/21/2008
  Q: I don't know what to do. My parents-in-law gave me a ring shortly after our wedding (though not a ...
  A: You have been put in the middle of a very difficult situation. Strictly speaking, your in-laws made ...
Break up question4/21/2008
  Q: What do I do with jewelry from my ex-boyfriend of 9 month's during dating? Do I give it back or keep ...
  A: Gifts given come with no strings. You are entitled to keep the jewelry and either wear it, sell it, ...
high school graduation invitation4/21/2008
  Q: should you send invitations to members of the same graduating class (ex sons friends)
  A: The answer is no. They are already going to be at the graduation, so that would be completely ...
Birthday Gifts4/21/2008
  Q: We are having a 1st birthday party for our triplets. Due to the crazy amount of toys and clothes ...
  A: Strictly speaking it is poor form to mention anything about gifts on any invitation unless it's ...
master's degree announcements?4/21/2008
  Q: I did not send out announcements for my bachelor's degree because my mother thought it was tacky. ...
  A: There is absolutely no reason not to send out an announcement for this great accomplishment. I ...
graduation4/20/2008
  Q: Does the female buy the boutineer for her date to grad. Thanks Kayt
  A: In a word, 'NO'. Even in this world today, where feminism has a stronghold, this is a place where ...
Announcement Sending Time4/18/2008
  Q: Jay: I've researched and found that it is proper timing to send out college graduation ...
  A: I will answer the second question first. I still stand by tradition. The parents send out the ...
Bosses Wedding4/18/2008
  Q: My boss is getting married. I'm acquainted with both him and his fiance'(we've had a few double ...
  A: Whether or not you were invited to the wedding has no bearing on your decision to give a wedding ...
Graduation Announcement - Who is the sender?4/18/2008
  Q: The inside envelope on the college graduation envelope should be addressed to the person as if you ...
  A: Bottom line answer is it's up to you. Traditionally, however, the parents are the senders of the ...
entertaining/serving platters4/16/2008
  Q: I have a very pretty silver plate serving platter I received as a wedding gift. I am hosting ...
  A: In brief, food may go directly onto the silver plated platter. The only foods that really react with ...
invitation address4/15/2008
  Q: Our country club that technically my husband is a member of - but it is a family club - addresses ...
  A: The country club send mailings to its members. Your husband is the member, so that is why they send ...
Wedding gifts - US to Canada4/15/2008
  Q: Jay, My American son is getting married this fall to a wonderful Canadian woman and they will live ...
  A: I live in Canada myself and am a US citizen so I completely understand the situation. First of all, ...
Return address labels for grad. whn childs name is different4/14/2008
  Q: My daughter is graduating from High School we are working on her graduation announcements and I'm ...
  A: First of all, let me congratulate your daughter for graduating from high school. This would be a ...
Apologies4/14/2008
  Q: I did something to upset my friend, who is my neighbor and co-worker, while she and her family were ...
  A: I am happy to give you my insight here now that I have the details. I agree with your friends. This ...
Wedding Shower...4/13/2008
  Q: I'm a brides maid in my friends upcoming wedding, do I still by her a shower gift? Thank you Jay for ...
  A: In a word, yes. You are, of course, never obliged to buy a shower gift, but being a bridesmaid ...
Daughters graduation4/13/2008
  Q: My 30 year old daughter, who has returned to school after having a child, is graduating with her BA. ...
  A: I am delighted to answer all of your questions. No need to be sorry. I would be doing this if I ...
Apologies4/12/2008
  Q: I did something to upset my friend, who is my neighbor and co-worker, while she and her family were ...
  A: This one is another one asked of me which falls outside of the strict etiquette or protocol realm. ...
Daughters graduation4/12/2008
  Q: My 30 year old daughter, who has returned to school after having a child, is graduating with her BA. ...
  A: At this time of year, I get so many graduation questions. The irony of this for me is that I never ...
Graduation Announcements4/12/2008
  Q: My daughter will be graduating from college soon. What is the correct way to write the announcement ...
  A: This is a very sensitive issue which in fact falls outside of strict etiquette or protocol. However, ...
Daughters graduation4/12/2008
  Q: My 30 year old daughter, who has returned to school after having a child, is graduating with her BA. ...
  A: First of all, let me congratulate your daughter for a real accomplishment. And give yourselves a pat ...
wedding attendance4/12/2008
  Q: My daughter is one of the bridesmaids at my nephew's wedding. We, her parents, however, have not ...
  A: Technically speaking, without an invitation, you should not go to the wedding. It occurs to me that ...
Graduation Announcements4/12/2008
  Q: My daughter will be graduating from college soon. What is the correct way to write the announcement ...
  A: The way to do this is as follows. Ms. Jane Doe, daughter of Mrs. Cathy Smith and the late Mr. John ...
Bringing an uninvited dog to your host's home4/11/2008
  Q: My Mother-In-Law insists on bringing her dog to my 1200sf apartment when she stays overnight. This, ...
  A: Let me say that this falls outside of strict etiquette, however, I am happy to share my thoughts ...
How to address a sympathy card4/11/2008
  Q: A neighbor's husband passed way, do I address the card to her and family or "the family of . . . . . ...
  A: You address the card to Mrs. John Doe and family. Addressing it to the family of the deceased would ...
house warming party4/11/2008
  Q: i would like to give my daughter and son-inlaw a house warming party. They have just bought a house ...
  A: The simple answer to this is that yes, by all means have a party for them at your home. But, an ...
Shower/Wedding Gifts4/10/2008
  Q: I recently attended by nephew's fiancee's bridal shower and shortly thereafter, their wedding. I ...
  A: You and your sisters are dead on right. It is absolutely not acceptable to send canned thank-you ...
college graduation invitation vs announcment4/10/2008
  Q: Daughter's college graduation in NH coming up soon. It's out-of-state and scheduled outside no ...
  A: By the way, we're practically neighbors. I live in St. Andrews, NB, Canada. At any rate, this is ...
6pm weddings in the South4/10/2008
  Q: Is a 6 pm wedding in the South (NC) considered to be "black tie" if the invitation does not specify?
  A: The answer to your question, in a word, is no. Unless the style of dress is indicated clearly on the ...
Wedding invitations for singles4/10/2008
  Q: A friend is sending out wedding invites and during a phone conversation stated that since I was ...
  A: I don't really see a question here. This is more of a venting. And I have no problem with that, but ...
how do I approch a coworker about bad habits4/9/2008
  Q: My question is, how do you approach someone that shares office equipment and kitchen area that ...
  A: The answer to your question is very straight forward. And as long as your intention is not to ...
Early Graduation from High School4/8/2008
  Q: This is a topic I did not encounter with my other children. My daughter cane home and informed us ...
  A: Know that you are doing the right thing. It's so nice for people like you who make the effort to ...
Early Graduation from High School4/8/2008
  Q: This is a topic I did not encounter with my other children. My daughter cane home and informed us ...
  A: I can relate to this because the same thing happened to me in college. I was finished my studies a ...
college graduaton announcements4/8/2008
  Q: Technically, who sends out the announcements the student or the parents? ANSWER: Dear Penny, Thanks ...
  A: Don't apologize. I am happy to work with you to ensure that you are comfortable in doing the right ...
privacy fence4/8/2008
  Q: If there is a shared privacy fence, should I remove the old fence before putting up the new? The ...
  A: Although this falls outside the guidelines of real etiquette, I feel compelled to answer you because ...
wedding shower gifts4/7/2008
  Q: Recently sent a shower gift to couple who will marry in June. The thank you note said the groom is ...
  A: To clarify, you stated that you sent a 'shower gift'. That is not the same as a wedding gift. So ...
addressing wedding invitations4/7/2008
  Q: I have all my wedding invitations sealed stamped and ready to go. I desired and printed them myself. ...
  A: Already stamped, Yikes! We need to move quickly on this one. Absolutely, you must put 'and Guest' on ...
50th wedding Anniversary4/7/2008
  Q: Is it etiquette to ask for donation of____ per person on your 50th wedding anniversary invitation or ...
  A: Simply stated, this is in very poor taste. The rule of thumb is this: if you are going to host a ...
Rsvp to Bar Mitzvah4/7/2008
  Q: My daughter received her first invite to a Bar Mitzvah. On the RSVP card, it reads, "We look forward ...
  A: There are many different variations on RSVP cards. The most important point is to make sure to ...
college graduaton announcements4/7/2008
  Q: Technically, who sends out the announcements the student or the parents? ANSWER: Dear Penny, Thanks ...
  A: It does help to clarify your concern. The announcement can read Mr and Mrs George Jones are proud to ...
college graduaton announcements4/6/2008
  Q: Technically, who sends out the announcements the student or the parents?
  A: I have just completed an column on the matter of graduation invitations and announcements, but ...
What should a Boss Say or Not4/5/2008
  Q: I think I know the answer to this but I asked my boss how he was doing since he recently had been ...
  A: , Thanks for asking this question. It opens up an interesting topic, one which I shall use in one of ...
JOB ETIQUETTE4/4/2008
  Q: I AM A TEACHER. I AM ON A 4 MAN/WOMAN TEAM. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WE'LL GET TOGETHER AND FIX ...
  A: This does rings thing more into focus. If your group is having breakfast together, bring food enough ...
JOB ETIQUETTE4/4/2008
  Q: I AM A TEACHER. I AM ON A 4 MAN/WOMAN TEAM. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WE'LL GET TOGETHER AND FIX ...
  A: I need more information before I can answer this question. What is the venue? It sounds like a ...
Extending greetings4/4/2008
  Q: What is the current(or US) protocol on greeting? My heritage is British and etiquette as it was ...
  A: Your upbringing taught you well. I might add that there is no difference at the workplace. Good ...
Gifts4/1/2008
  Q: A dear friend has given my newborn outfits that I absolutley hate. I can't imagine having to put ...
  A: In this case, your dear friend has overstepped her bounds. Personally, I would send a nice thank-you ...
door opening/holding etiquette4/1/2008
  Q: When a man and a woman are walking together approaching a door, especially a narrower one, should ...
  A: I think common sense dictates the answer to this question. Personally, the way I handle this ...
door opening/holding etiquette4/1/2008
  Q: When a man and a woman are walking together approaching a door, especially a narrower one, should ...
  A: I side with you and your friends on this one. From an etiquette point of view, today's rules are ...
table manners3/31/2008
  Q: I am a stepparent to a 10year old. We only have her for 2days a week, but she has the worst table ...
  A: First, let me say that I grew up with a step mother so I understand how this situation can be ...
dinner party invites3/31/2008
  Q: I am invited to my mother-inlaw's for a sit down dinner. At the last minute, my sister and her ...
  A: First of all, stop fuming. We're talking about a dinner party, not a botched open heart surgery. ...
Send gift for event or keep until you see the person?3/31/2008
  Q: I have an ongoing battle with relatives - they like to keep the gifts for my daughter (we only give ...
  A: This is more of a sensitive area for you than for your husband or your daughter. After all, you most ...
Uninvited Houseguests3/30/2008
  Q: I have a cousin that lives 6 hours away, he will show up anyday, anytime with his 7 children and ...
  A: Unfortunately it sounds like you have become begrudgingly an enabler in this situation. This ...
Pouring wine3/29/2008
  Q: Is it improper to pour wine into your guest's glass that still contains wine?
  A: Simply stated, no, it is not improper to pour wine into your guest's wine glass if it still contains ...
Wedding invitations for singles3/27/2008
  Q: A friend is sending out wedding invites and during a phone conversation stated that since I was ...
  A: I have to agree with you and I have to agree with your friend at the same time. First of all, the ...
College Graduation Announcements3/27/2008
  Q: I will be graduating in May and I am preparing to send out my announcements. I'm going to send them ...
  A: First let me congratulate you on your accomplishment. Secondly, let me thank-you for taking the time ...
Small Dinner Seating3/27/2008
  Q: My wife and I were discussing (not arguing)how to seat ourselves when we go to dinner with only us ...
  A: The answer really depends on who the third party is. If it's a woman, she should on your right and ...
car seating etiquette3/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper way of seating in a car when there is men and women going on a ride altogether.Is ...
  A: For couples going on a road trip together, there is no right or wrong way to arrange the seating, no ...
Send gift for event or keep until you see the person?3/26/2008
  Q: I have an ongoing battle with relatives - they like to keep the gifts for my daughter (we only give ...
  A: I must agree with you here. Perhaps if your parents put themselves in the shoes of a 7 year old ...
etiquette regarding return address labels3/26/2008
  Q: Is it acceptable to put only the last name on return address labels (along with the address of ...
  A: I am certainly guilty of doing this myself, usually because I am in a rush. However, in a formal ...
Phone call to confirm plans3/25/2008
  Q: I was recently asked by my niece, who was about to deliver her second child, if I would be "on ...
  A: You have asked an excellent question and one which I can relate to as well. There are many factors ...

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