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Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Questions Answered by Expert Jay Remer

SubjectDate Asked
How to write a condolence letter in an awkward situation9/20/2016
  Q: I would like to send a condolence letter (not a sympathy card!) to an acquaintance whose father died ...
  A: I understand your hesitation. Make no reference to the relationship between the deceased and your ...
birthday party etiquette7/18/2016
  Q: an aunt of ours is having a surprise bbq for her husbands (our uncle) 65th birthday party on the ...
  A: I would resist going down that road personally. I do not know your family's dynamics, however. ...
Proper way to respond2/14/2016
  Q: Remer: I have been taking my pets to a very good veterinarian for several years. She is retiring ...
  A: You have every right to use whichever vet you want. I am a dog fancier and have been most of my ...
Beta Male Handshake1/23/2016
  Q: Regarding handshakes, I've looked into dominant and submissive body language and it seems the best ...
  A: Both 'alpha' and 'beta' handshakes are to be avoided. A proper handshake between any two people ...
Gravy boats1/16/2016
  Q: Remer: I am shopping for a sterling gravy boat. What are the best dimensions for the boat for ...
  A: First of all, do not worry about dimensions. Gravy boats can vary in size and they all pretty much ...
throat clearing7/10/2015
  Q: my co-worker does this every 15 seconds or so. i'm pretty sure it is intentional because a) she ...
  A: I agree with your opinion in this matter on all counts. Whether it is intentional or not, it is ...
Email Politeness3/25/2015
  Q: In an email which was sent to my boss, I was referred to as "she" even before any mention of my ...
  A: Email etiquette is not well understood. It should adhere to the same protocol as a written letter. ...
Elevator Etiquette3/1/2015
  Q: I have some questions on elevator etiquette. I am not native to the United States culture and since ...
  A: Elevator etiquette is basically universal. People generally move to the rear of the car unless they ...
Asking about Person's Nationality12/20/2014
  Q: My American-born friend has an unusual last name, and is often asked what her ancestry is. For ...
  A: Asking someone their nationality is inappropriate, especially today when stereotypes are being ...
avoiding discussions on politics12/11/2014
  Q: I would really appreciate your advice on a matter. I talk to my elderly parents twice a week by ...
  A: There is an expression about changing the spots on a leopard that comes to mind, which is not ...
Co-worker's Child's Graduation6/25/2014
  Q: I am the manager over 44 people. Two of my employees have invited me to their child's graduation ...
  A: You are not obligated to send a gift, especially if your relationship would make giving a gift seem ...
Granddaughters HS Graduation Announcement4/9/2014
  Q: I'm trying to help my granddaughter by making her high school graduation announcements. She is a ...
  A: Graduation announcements are sent out after the event, so what she will be wearing is of no ...
Brothers Birthday Dinner3/11/2014
  Q: There are only 3 siblings and I always want to celebrate my brother and sister's birthday by getting ...
  A: Financial concerns should be cleared up before making any commitments. Traditionally, the host - in ...
How often should I stay at my future-in-laws place?3/2/2014
  Q: My boyfriend and I bought a house near the city, closer to where we both work and have been living ...
  A: I apologize for not returning an answer to you earlier. This is a rather complicated set of ...
Proper head stone1/26/2014
  Q: I have always understood that you should not sit on a head stone as directly under the stone is ...
  A: The rule of thumb is not to sit on, lean on, or otherwise touch any memorial. There will be friends ...
addressing professionals1/22/2014
  Q: My relative would like to call his/her Dr, by her first name, citing that he/she doesn't "like" the ...
  A: This disrespectful behavior is nothing more than a disguised bullying technique. Why would anyone go ...
Is it proper to sell tickets that you were given11/8/2013
  Q: Is it proper to sell tickets that were given to you by a corporation? I noticed on line that friend ...
  A: Although I tend to agree with you, one is actually free to do what one wants with such tickets. It ...
knitting9/7/2013
  Q: Is knitting at a birthday lunch bad manners ???
  A: Knitting at the dinner table is never appropriate. Knitting while sitting around chatting is usually ...
recital fee8/24/2013
  Q: Is it customary to be charged a fee to attend a dance recital? I was invited to one and told I would ...
  A: I do apologize for not answering you sooner. There is nothing wrong with charging a fee for a ...
house guests bringing pets8/4/2013
  Q: Without asking permission, an adult step daughter announced she was bringing an adult girl friend ...
  A: Giddens, I am slightly confused by your question, so if I don't address your issue, please feel free ...
funeral6/13/2013
  Q: My son's wife's sister was killed in a car accident. Is it expected that his siblings and parents ...
  A: My condolences for this tragic loss. Every family arranges funerals differently. People in general ...
Dorms of correct address6/10/2013
  Q: I am having a formal dinner and on name place cards don't know hoe to address a gent who is a Crnl ...
  A: I do apologize for the delay in answering your question. You must choose one title for the the place ...
Birthday Trip Etiquette5/21/2013
  Q: If a group of girls travel overnight and hire a limo to "please" the interests of the recipient, ...
  A: The financial arrangements should have been discussed before the limo was ever hired. Yes, the ...
Addressing Invitations5/13/2013
  Q: Is it acceptable to address high school graduation announcements using labels printed from the ...
  A: It is acceptable, but not preferred. Graduating from high school is quite an accomplishment. The ...
attendance2/9/2013
  Q: My sister-in-law is graduating college. Is it appropriate to not go b/c I don't feel my 4 year old ...
  A: I agree with you completely. After all, if he starts to squirm and carry on during the graduation, ...
Condescending manner1/13/2013
  Q: I don't know if this is in your field of expertise or not, but this is driving me nuts so I thought ...
  A: My sincerest apologies for not answering you sooner. I have been tending to a bedridden older woman ...
Declining a Christmas gift1/2/2013
  Q: My son has been dating a gal (Brenda) for 6 years. They both live 2500 Kim's away from me. I have ...
  A: I can understand your reticence, but encourage you to reconsider your thoughts. Relationships can be ...
poor customer servie10/31/2012
  Q: Remer I went into a store just to pay a bill granted that i was dressed poorly because I was in a ...
  A: I agree that the customer is always right, but customer service is not always up to snuff. My advice ...
thank-you note10/1/2012
  Q: I am wondering if it is okay to send a snail mailed thank-you note to someone I have an online ...
  A: I understand your concern. I would simply send her an email explaining you'd like to mail her a note ...
Lengthy visit by good friends in our home9/29/2012
  Q: We will be hosting two good friends for almost 2 weeks in our home. We are all retired and will be ...
  A: Clearing up finances is important. It is generally understood that houseguests pay for their own ...
family etiquette9/24/2012
  Q: My husband's extended family on his mothers side tend to have a big Christmas family event every ...
  A: I am more than willing to help, but need to know what advice you want. This is a pretty straight ...
Unannounced Visit9/2/2012
  Q: Background: I care for my 89yo father who lives in an assisted living facility near my home. My ...
  A: I am sorry things seem to have piled up around you and are causing you a lot of stress. I commend ...
baby shower8/4/2012
  Q: the proud parents live in CA but they are coming back to NY to see family and introduce their ...
  A: I apologize for not answering it earlier, but it seems to have gotten temporarily lost in ...
Lunch protocol with former lover7/31/2012
  Q: My current lover was a co-worker, and when we worked together we would have lunch together almost ...
  A: The problem here is a lack of communication. If this situation is causing you stress, you need to ...
email etiquette7/18/2012
  Q: Four years ago I gave my email address to a person that distributes special needs info going on in ...
  A: I too am the recipient of unwanted emails. There are checks and balances which many organizations ...
Redefining invitations4/8/2012
  Q: To what extent is it considered rude to redefine an invitation? I had invited a couple to go on a ...
  A: Forgive me for not answering you sooner, but I have been without Internet for a couple of days. In ...
Re: A cross in neighbor's yard3/12/2012
  Q: From my kitchen, I have a clear view of my neighbor's backyard. This morning as I was sitting down ...
  A: To begin with, the cross in your neighbor's yard is likely very personal and therefore the subject ...
Your opinion please2/26/2012
  Q: How far can I go in exemplifying good manners to children who are related to me only by marriage? I ...
  A: You are in the right here, 100%. You can never exemplify good manners too much, unless of course you ...
60th Wedding Anniversary2/8/2012
  Q: I want to place a 60th wedding anniversary announcement in the newspaper for my parents. One ...
  A: Include the names of all grandchildren or the total number. The fact that one grandchild is deceased ...
Party Gifts2/5/2012
  Q: One of my neighbors had a party at her house. Assuming this was like one of our community cookouts, ...
  A: If you are invited to someone's house for a party, assume they will provide the food. If the ...
parents1/25/2012
  Q: My parents are in their seventies and have been married to each other for over 50 years. When we ...
  A: Please excuse my tardy response. I am on the road and easily distracted. You have a big issue ...
Male friend constantly visiting1/21/2012
  Q: My mom who is 79 years old and widowed since 2004 has lots of friends. There is one person who ...
  A: This man does sound lonely and I'm sure he enjoys your mother's company. However, he is being ...
Addressing International physicians11/10/2011
  Q: Would you please let me know the proper way to address, in writing, physicians in the following ...
  A: I apologize for the tardy response, but I have been out of town. In the English language, medical ...
Changing a Shirt in Public10/19/2011
  Q: I recently wrote you about my husband's changing his shirt in a public place and, today, the ...
  A: I did answer this question, but only recently. I do apologize for the delay. I have been on the ...
Changing Clothing in Public10/16/2011
  Q: My husband and I were out for the day and, at lunch, he spilled a slight amount soup on the front of ...
  A: I have to side with you on this one Mildred. The reason is that if anyone did see him, it might make ...
Addressing Doctors10/3/2011
  Q: Remer, Hello! Thank you first of all, for making it available to the public to ask you questions. ...
  A: I apologize for my tardy response. With honorifics which are predominantly used professionally as ND ...
Office confidentiality9/18/2011
  Q: I work at a corporation that has a counselling psychologist on staff, who is available for sessions ...
  A: I do apologize for not responding earlier. Have had some email issues. There is no reason for you to ...
Office Birthdays9/16/2011
  Q: I have a question regarding office birthdays. In my office, we have about 20 members in our team ...
  A: It is always awkward when one is asked to contribute to a joint event one is not hosting, but that's ...
Business door opening etiquette9/11/2011
  Q: My job requires that each employee use their issued badges to open the glass door to enter the ...
  A: This person was incredibly rude. He exhibited unnecessary bullying behavior, even if he was trying ...
Attendance at ex mother-in-laws viewing8/9/2011
  Q: I have been divorced since 1990 and had no children with my ex-husband. He has been remarried twice ...
  A: Please forgive me for not responding sooner, but I did not see your email. Attending a visitation is ...
Social Function Etiquette7/22/2011
  Q: If you are having a conversation, at a bar lets say, with your significant other, and their coworker ...
  A: This is a very good question. Your b/f is being rude and is in fact displaying bullying techniques. ...
meeting with a former ambassador6/28/2011
  Q: Proper etiquette for addressing a former foreign ambassador.
  A: A career diplomat who has held the title of Ambassador, retains that title for life. Others who may ...
stepgrandmother's title6/24/2011
  Q: My daughter refuses to address my wife as grandma, or other such name. She will only refer to her by ...
  A: It is a little bit confusing as to the generations, but I will assume that the issue is between a ...
Hugging6/18/2011
  Q: Hey there. When is it appropriate to hug someone? I am staying with a friend at the moment and i ...
  A: Hugging is a very personal matter. Some people love to be hugged; others do not. There are a variety ...
talking competition6/13/2011
  Q: I have two friends who are competitive talkers. How do I go about telling them that it is very rude ...
  A: This sort of situation can make us feel isolated, helpless and frustrated all at the same time. My ...
Food allergies5/23/2011
  Q: Remer, I have fairly severe food allergies and as a general rule I avoid eating out as much as ...
  A: In addition to being an etiquette expert, I owned and managed my own 4-diamond restaurant for eight ...
Family visits - etiquette5/5/2011
  Q: I'm feeling quite badly about this situation and am hoping you can shed some light. My father let me ...
  A: You are 100% correct. Not only are your parents being disrespectful of you and your husband, they ...
Who pays for dinner4/29/2011
  Q: My fiance's daughter has been at one job for a few years. She just finished college and landed a job ...
  A: Congratulations are indeed in order! Etiquette guidelines call for the person or persons who extend ...
corporate event invitations4/29/2011
  Q: I handle several corporate events throughout the year in which the exact wording on the invitation ...
  A: Tofilon, Thanks for asking this good question. First of all, I do hope you do not use the wording ...
who pays overseas4/27/2011
  Q: I met a man on a recent trip to the UK and it was very clear he expected us to take turns paying. ...
  A: please. Your arrangement with this guest is of a personal nature and sharing bills is perfectly ...
proper last name usage for a re-married woman4/11/2011
  Q: I may be being picky about this and if I am, please let me know. My wife has worked at an apartment ...
  A: I am on your side on this one. Her previous husband's last name has no business being included on ...
obituary etiquette4/8/2011
  Q: My ex husband died recently; His three children were born during our marriage. However, his ...
  A: Drylie, Thanks for asking this good question. There is an error in phrasing. It may have been an ...
prices of restaurant meals4/3/2011
  Q: My daughter and I asked a former students of mine to live with us since he was having a hard time ...
  A: The answer to your question is written by you in what you have observed but never noticed. You ...
Gift splitting3/25/2011
  Q: Recently my live in has asked me to join him for dinner with his sister and brother in law for their ...
  A: Although this is not strictly an etiquette question, it is all about respect. Your living ...
Table etiquette3/22/2011
  Q: As a teacher at high school, I am appalled at the lack of manners. I was always taught that it was ...
  A: You are absolutely right on all counts! I in fact have developed a workshop specific to high school ...
sending sympathy card to widow of ex (many years ago) boyfriend2/17/2011
  Q: About 28 years ago, I was in a steady relationship with a young man; we were both in our very early ...
  A: I think I understand your goal. I would write a note of sympathy, mention that you were a close ...
Titles and Rank2/2/2011
  Q: We have a captain on our police force who has been made Acting Chief of Police. Should we refer to ...
  A: You would in fact refer to him as Captain. Although he would have the responsibilities of the Chief, ...
Not being invited to dinner in the honor of a group of which I am a part.1/29/2011
  Q: For more than five years I have consistently volunteered my time to a charitable organization. In ...
  A: It would depend a lot on more specifics, but in general I doubt you were left off of an invitation ...
gift etiquette for guests invited to brunch1/24/2011
  Q: For a brunch given for a bride-to-be, what is the etiquette for guests giving gifts? The invitation ...
  A: Although a gift is not mandatory, it would be appropriate to bring a small gift. I think something ...
Dinner Parties1/21/2011
  Q: One of my social groups has decided to do "Dinner party wars"; its a two person team and the teams ...
  A: What a fun idea to play such a game! In this case, the 'team' is acting as host really; therefore a ...
colleague retirement party1/11/2011
  Q: Is it rude not to go to a retirement party of a colleagie that you dislike and really only speak too ...
  A: You can regret any invitation you want. It is not rude. It is a matter of personal choice. I do ...
cell phones1/5/2011
  Q: I have recently moved to Scotland and although the scenery is beautiful and the people warm and ...
  A: You may certainly ignore unsolicited or unwanted calls or voice mails. I do. I don't carry a cell ...
acknowledgment of memorial gift1/4/2011
  Q: Upon receipt of a monetary memorial gift for a deceased church member ("in memory of ____"), how do ...
  A: Acknowledgements should be as simple as possible and should not mention any dollar amounts. A note ...
Visitors' Etiquette1/4/2011
  Q: Over the Christmas season I had the frustration of having 5 people staying with me in a not so large ...
  A: As you have stated, there is a pattern here. It is disrespectful of your guests, but you have made ...
Invited to a Debutante Ball...12/23/2010
  Q: I recently received an invitation to attend a debutante ball in which a few of my friends will be ...
  A: I apologize for the delay in answering but there was a death in my immediate family, I have attended ...
Party Etiquette12/17/2010
  Q: When invited to a friends open house Christmas party, what is an appropriate gift to bring? There ...
  A: The delay in my answer is due to a pod cast shoot I was producing on this very subject. There are ...
Christmas cards to late wife's friends...12/12/2010
  Q: We received Christmas cards addressed to my husband and his late wife from a few friends of hers ...
  A: There can be a number of reasons why people do not know what their friends current status is. Do not ...
Christmas gifts to my adult children's partners12/10/2010
  Q: Last Christmas I gave my adult son a higher value gift card than his live in partner and had second ...
  A: My advice is to give each of your children the same amount. Your children's significant others ...
facial expressions when conversing12/1/2010
  Q: When one has had to disagree with one's partner in conversation, or to give evidence for one's own ...
  A: I tend to agree with your mother on this one. A smile in this case is usually loaded with intent, so ...
Rude advise from a long time frind12/1/2010
  Q: My friend of 20+plus years facebooked me telling me I am deeply disturbed and need to get ...
  A: Here is a prime example of how what we say mirrors how we feel about ourselves. Your friend clearly ...
Thanksgiving11/15/2010
  Q: My husband and I invited my son and his wife and my daughter and her husband for Thanksgiving day ...
  A: Your son in law has made an error in judgment here although I am hoping his intentions are good. ...
Baby Shower9/30/2010
  Q: My daughter is pregnant and will be coming down for Christmas. She lives out of state and I would ...
  A: There are a number of potential personality clashes possible here; however, there are also a couple ...
Sympathy message9/29/2010
  Q: A friend's mother-in-law died. Do I address a card to her husband only or to both of them?
  A: The card would be addressed to both of them. Both will be mourning a loss, most likely in different ...
advice giving9/21/2010
  Q: I am a dance teacher and I choreograph different dancers. This is a very creative process from the ...
  A: Whenever you have left and right brain people working on the same project, this kind of conflict is ...
company appearance9/3/2010
  Q: What would you think of a company (selling appliances) that a customer walked in the door and the ...
  A: I think a receptionist should be facing the door, not having her back side on show for customers. It ...
Bare feet on sofa OK?8/26/2010
  Q: My husband and I recently moved into our first home together and purchased new furniture, including ...
  A: Your house is your castle. You make the rules. If you find bare feet offensive, then say so. That is ...
cell phone etiquette8/13/2010
  Q: my wife and i are frustrated with her sister regarding her cell phone habits. when we text or leave ...
  A: It isn't really a question of what you are expecting as much as that you are not being respectful of ...
Drinks at a home before going out to dinner8/8/2010
  Q: When meeting at someone's home for a glass of wine before going out to a restaurant for dinner, do ...
  A: I agree with your husband on this one, especially if they have invited you - which is I presume the ...
Gravestone Etiquette8/3/2010
  Q: I am helping an elderly friend on a weekly basis, who has now been widowed twice. She was first ...
  A: In my opinion, there is no reason for her not be marked on both graves. There need be no complicated ...
Concerning baby showers7/26/2010
  Q: About baby showers, Who should give baby showers to the expectant moms? Should the expectant mom ...
  A: Anyone can give a baby shower including the expectant mom. It might be nice for the mother or ...
eating in front of others7/23/2010
  Q: At our store we have a full kitchen in our showroom. We will cook enough for about 11 people. I ...
  A: Sometimes old fashioned does not go out of style. This is one of those instances. It is very rude to ...
retirement party invitations7/20/2010
  Q: A party is being planned for a person retiring. the party will take place at a private home. What ...
  A: The wording would as with any party. The invitations should be mailed to the people being invited. ...
remarriage7/17/2010
  Q: My, late brother's widow is remarrying, he has been dead a year, I, don't feel it is the proper ...
  A: This is a matter of personal choice. It is not an issue of being proper or not. Life is short, and ...
Debut party7/17/2010
  Q: It is my first time to be invited on a debut party and I'm one of the eighteen candles. What will ...
  A: I was not familiar with this Filipino custom, but my research revealed the following answer, which ...
wedding check etiquette7/14/2010
  Q: i am writing a check to my brother and new wife, i met her once, very nice both been married ...
  A: I would write the check out to Jill and Jack Falling. There is an old rule of not separating the ...
Bereavement gift7/11/2010
  Q: A co-worker who is also a friend just lost her mother. While she is a friend I don't know enough ...
  A: Gifts or donations of money are at the discretion of the giver/donor. The amount depends in a large ...
No Wedding Gift6/28/2010
  Q: My son recently got married and most of the people that we invited did not give a gift or a card. ...
  A: The short answer to your question is 'no'. There is no obligation on the part of guests to give a ...
Series of Questions6/26/2010
  Q: Jay, I was raised in an extremely manners-centric household....to the point that I have perfected ...
  A: Although not strictly etiquette questions, as you well know, they are however based in respect and ...
Funeral6/10/2010
  Q: My husband and I have been together for 13 yrs, he was married before, and now his EX Mother in Law ...
  A: He has every right to go to this funeral. Time away from you and your puppies is not a good reason ...
Honorarium for invocation, bagpiper and color guard(4)6/9/2010
  Q: I am holding a reunion of Vietnam Vets and wonder what the proper honorarium is for: 1. A clergyman ...
  A: Usually the different 'players' will give you some parameters if you simply ask them. If they are ...
birthday party6/3/2010
  Q: I have my sons birthday party every year with family and friends with children. Every year my ...
  A: You are 100% correct. It is your house and you call the shots. Small children and dogs are not a ...
birthday card6/2/2010
  Q: Is there a certain age when I should stop sending birthday cards to neices, nephews, grandchildren?
  A: The short answer is no. The real question which comes to my mind is why are you sending the cards ...
Recital ettiquette5/30/2010
  Q: I am going to a music recital for the daughter of a good friend of mine. She is the only one ...
  A: Bringing a small arrangement of flowers or a gift would always be appreciated and would be ...
car manners5/29/2010
  Q: if there is 3 girls and one guy who sits in the front seat if a girl is driving?
  A: It actually doesn't matter who sits where. Customarily the man would sit in the front. In general, ...
HS Graduation Announcements5/24/2010
  Q: When you send out HS Graduation announcements, is it etiuette to include a self addressed stamped ...
  A: Do not include a return envelope with the graduation announcement. That is beyond pushy. Gifts of ...
Relationship with Boyfriend's Family5/18/2010
  Q: I have several questions regarding the way I should behave with my boyfriend's family. My boyfriend ...
  A: My advice is to accept the invitation unless you have a previous engagement or want to send a strong ...
hostess gift5/15/2010
  Q: I've been invited, along with others, to attend a piano concert in the home of the pianist (male). ...
  A: My apologies for not getting back to you sooner. Thanks for asking this good question. I would ...
25th anniversary5/12/2010
  Q: My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary. They don't want a party. ...
  A: My advice is to ask them if it is okay. If they don't want a party they may not want announcements ...
ex husbands sister has passed5/9/2010
  Q: What is the proper thing to do.Call and express my condolences or send a card.When my grandmother ...
  A: The answer to this really depends on your current relationship with your former family. A card would ...
Retirment Party5/7/2010
  Q: A friend of mine is planning on hosting a retirement party for his mother. It will include friends, ...
  A: If your friend is hosting a party, any party, it her responsibility to pay for it, all of it. The ...
death in the family5/5/2010
  Q: My mother died 10 days ago. I took a couple of days bereavement leave, even though I didn't go ...
  A: I am so sorry to hear of your mother's passing. I know it took a lot to ask this question during ...
grad announcement4/26/2010
  Q: I RECEIVED A COLLEGE GRADUATION ANNOUNCEMENT FROM MY FRIEND'S DAUGHTER. I DON'T KNOW IF I WILL BE ...
  A: Either is fine, but if there's a doubt about your attendance, there would be nothing wrong with ...
Proper way to ask child's friend on vacation4/25/2010
  Q: My daughter & wife are flying out of state to visit my sister & would like to ask my daughter's ...
  A: There is no correct way to do this. It all depends on finances and intentions. There would be ...
death announcement4/20/2010
  Q: My mother recently passed away. We are writing up a death announcement for the newspaper. One of ...
  A: If the child is Mary and is married to but separated from a Mr. Brown, for example, her name would ...
Obituary protocol / ediquette ?4/3/2010
  Q: My 89 year old mother passed; we are writing the obit (5 siblings). Our mother was married twice ...
  A: There are a number of ways of handling this, all of which are equally misunderstood. The newspaper ...
College Graduation4/1/2010
  Q: I am a 48 year old soon to be college graduate with a BA in Business. I have announcements to send ...
  A: Fether, Thanks for asking this good question and congratulations on your wonderful degree. ...
names3/30/2010
  Q: After being introduced to someone repeatedly, is it considered rude to continue to forget their ...
  A: Yes, of course, it is rude to be so forgetful that one doesn't remember meeting someone, especially ...
retirement cancelled & gift returns3/29/2010
  Q: a friend of mine recently announced a retirement; her job had been outsourced, but she had enough ...
  A: This is an unusual situation indeed. Perhaps your friend would host a coffee and sweets break at the ...
Baby Shower3/27/2010
  Q: I am wondering if it is in bad taste to bring my newborn to my girlfriends shower if they are 3 ...
  A: It does depend a little bit on the age of the baby. Newborns are customarily 'carted around' with ...
Guest with food allergies.3/22/2010
  Q: My sister's boyfriend has Celiac. If I am hosting a get together with all the family (30 people) My ...
  A: This can be rather complicated. Some Celiac patients are so sensitive that they really cannot eat ...
Spelling errors?3/15/2010
  Q: Is it considered rude to point out minor spelling errors in casual social/personal e-mail between ...
  A: It is not rude of done in a civil way. Stick to facts and not your interpretation of the abusive ...
Who Pays?3/12/2010
  Q: A month in advance, I asked my mother-in-law if I could borrow a game for a party I was hosting. ...
  A: My advice is to offer to pay for the shipping, but let her know that next time (if she asks you to ...
tablecloth placement3/9/2010
  Q: When using 2 square cloths on a single square table, 1 light & 1 dark colored, which one should be ...
  A: To be honest, the choice is yours as far as which color your prefer on top. Personally I prefer ...
Flower Girls3/8/2010
  Q: My cousin is getting married and there are 4 little girls in the extended family ranging in ages ...
  A: It is really advice as opposed to etiquette and hopefully what I have to say will be helpful. First ...
Wedding Shower3/5/2010
  Q: Is it considered "poor taste" to refrain from opening gifts and acknowledging them at the time of ...
  A: I agree that it is unusual not to open shower gifts at the shower. However, it is at the discretion ...
Wedding Invitations3/4/2010
  Q: What is the proper way to address a Priest? What is the proper was to address a Pastor when both he ...
  A: In all cases these each person would be addressed as The Reverend. If either pastor has a doctorate ...
bridal tea3/3/2010
  Q: Are you expected to bring a gift to the bridal tea and if so, do you also give a wedding gift if ...
  A: Bridal teas are usually given by the bride and her mother to thank the brides maids for their ...
Memorial Gifts2/24/2010
  Q: At our non-profit nursing/senior living center we receive memorial donations from time to time ...
  A: If you have no idea who the donor is (however that might be possible), then you cannot acknowledge ...
Luncheon Etiquette2/16/2010
  Q: My niece, whom my husband and I have just helped move into her first apartment, is having a ...
  A: Your niece is being disrespectful of your husband for the work he did for her in helping her with ...
use of pronouns in conversation2/16/2010
  Q: I have a question about the proper use of pronouns in conversation. This issue comes up every time ...
  A: The overuse of pronouns has crept unfortunately into our language. The media are the worst at ...
2 loud little boys clueless parents2/15/2010
  Q: How much noise from my neighbors' kids should I have to tolerate? They have a play yard five feet ...
  A: Your neighbors are not mind readers. A polite conversation with them about these issues is ...
Gradutation Lunch2/11/2010
  Q: I want to plan a luncheon at a restaurant before my daughter's high school graduation for all family ...
  A: As I have answered many times before, there is no way to host a party you are not paying for. You ...
25th Anniversary Blues2/8/2010
  Q: This last week my husband and I celebrated our 25th Wedding anniversary. We have two children - one ...
  A: Please forgive my tardiness in answering this question. I am dealing with a virus at the moment. ...
MBA Graduation2/2/2010
  Q: Remer, My husband will be graduating with his MBA in a few months. I plan to send announcements ...
  A: I have answered this question a number of times before in one form or another and there are always ...
How to refuse Godparenting request ?1/24/2010
  Q: I have been asked to be godmother to my sister's second born. I totally disagree with her upbringing ...
  A: It is not as much about etiquette as it is about common sense and good judgment. My advice, as in ...
Wedding invitees?1/24/2010
  Q: For my son's wedding, I would like to invite a cousin, her husband and 3 of her 4 grown children. ...
  A: You are hosting this event. You therefore control the guest list. This should clarify the question ...
Funeral thank you notes1/23/2010
  Q: Do you send thank you's to those who attended the wake and didn't give a gift. Do sign the thank ...
  A: If I understand it correctly, the answer is that a thank you note is properly sent to anyone who ...
Death of Friends Father1/21/2010
  Q: I have a good friend who just told me that she sent flowers to a friend who's father passed away ...
  A: You are absolutely wrong here. How we acknowledge someone who dies is a very personal and individual ...
is my neighbours has mental ill or something?1/18/2010
  Q: From: Tommy I Figured out that my neighbours is slamming the door only if i stop singing korean ...
  A: ...again. You have two choices. Either sit down with the neighbors when they are all at home and ...
Birthday party-who pays for hotel; prizes- tacky or fun?1/12/2010
  Q: My siblings are trying to plan a 70th birthday for our Dad, but can't decide on certain points. Who ...
  A: Please pardon the tardiness for answering you. What a nice idea to host a party for your father. Or, ...
Manners1/10/2010
  Q: I must confess that I am bothered by rude behaviour. For example, when approaching a door behind ...
  A: MacLean, Thanks for asking this good question. My answer to you is very simple. Act with compassion. ...
Happy New Years1/7/2010
  Q: In a business environment, how long after new years day is it no longer proper to wish connections a ...
  A: There is no hard and fast rule for this. As with most matters pertaining to etiquette and protocol, ...
Bad eating habits1/6/2010
  Q: I work in a large academic organisation in a city in North Eastern England. Often at lunch there is ...
  A: H. Thanks for asking this good question. There really is no correct way to broach this subject. It ...
declining a memorial invitation1/4/2010
  Q: My husband passed away from colon cancer 4 months ago. The grieving process has been more difficult ...
  A: My sincerest condolences to you and your family at this very difficult time. It is not his family's ...
etiquette around a widow1/3/2010
  Q: my grandfather died recently and i want to start visiting my grandmother more. i'm just wondering ...
  A: There is no reason for you to 'act' in any special way. As always, be compassionate and accept her ...
I can barely CONTAIN MY ANGER with my brother!1/3/2010
  Q: I am so angry with my brother over his rudeness with gifts I have bought for his family. I'm not ...
  A: You are absolutely justified to feel as you do. Your brother being ungrateful and rude shows ...
sister invading privacy1/2/2010
  Q: I am 42 and live with my husband. At family gatherings my older sister (who I see only on these ...
  A: I can only imagine what this situation has created in your life. This is a question which is not ...
Christmas Cards1/2/2010
  Q: My question is about what to do with Christmas cards after the holidays are over. I have no trouble ...
  A: I have struggled over the years with the same problem. Regrettably I would go into clearing out mode ...
MBA Graduation Announcements1/1/2010
  Q: I am graduating in May with my MBA. I have a huge family, cousins out of town, etc. Who should I ...
  A: Happy New Year and Congratulations! Thanks for asking this good question. First of all, no ...
sympathy thank you12/31/2009
  Q: My mom just passed and I have finally sat down to tackle the thank you cards. Question do you send ...
  A: You should consider sending a card of thanks to everyone who sent flowers, cards, memorial ...
Surprise BD party for 70 yo Mother12/26/2009
  Q: My brother is planning a surprise party for our Mother's 70th. Is is appropriate to put her true ...
  A: I frown on surprise parties, especially for older people. They really can have heart attacks. I ...
to stay in touch or or not?12/26/2009
  Q: I RECENTLY WENT TO A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION AND RECONNECTED TO OLD FRIENDS-MY BEST FRIEND MADE ...
  A: This happens all the time. High school reunions somehow transport us back to times we love to ...
Faux pas12/24/2009
  Q: Jay, A few months ago I had sent you the below e-mail, and now I have committed a faux pas myself. ...
  A: This is somewhat complicated and here is my opinion. Your friend (the birthday girl) asked you a ...
Secret Santa Etiquette12/16/2009
  Q: On Christmas my office plans gift giving by secret Santa. The department leader will put everyone's ...
  A: If I understand it correctly, this is bizarre. I'd change the person passing around the hat. What an ...
christmas party12/13/2009
  Q: husband and are hosting a family Christmas party,how far in advance do we inform our neighbors and ...
  A: If I understand your question correctly, you are inviting your neighbors including their children to ...
Birthday card from my VP12/9/2009
  Q: I work for a large corporation. The VP of my department, who lives halfway across the country (and ...
  A: It is not necessary to acknowledge the birthday card you received. However, be sure to make a mental ...
Outdoor party and rain - not inviting people inside12/7/2009
  Q: In the summer, someone I know hosted a backyard BBQ engagement party for her son and future ...
  A: I too live in Canada as you probably know. Canadians and their floors have a real relationship - ...
Door holding12/5/2009
  Q: If a man is holding a door for my wife when he is about to enter while she is leaving with me ...
  A: This could be argued either way, however my feeling is that the good deed and in fact the intention ...
Contribution Letter12/4/2009
  Q: I work for a corporation that sends many donations in memory of client family members. What should ...
  A: You state this is already a policy. What letter accompanies the 'many donations' presently? Let's ...
Retirement Reception Invitation12/3/2009
  Q: My supervisor is retiring at the end of the month (Dec 31) - and his reception is scheduled for ...
  A: Normally three weeks would be just fine. Given that it is the beginning of a busy holiday season, ...
Gift Etiquette12/2/2009
  Q: My cousin has asked for a frame for her degree for Christmas and I would like to personalize it but ...
  A: My recommendation would be to put on her initials and leave it at that. The diploma already has the ...
employee eating lunch at her work station12/1/2009
  Q: Is it unprofessional for an employees who must deal with customers at their work station, to eat ...
  A: One of my pet peeves is the smell of food in the work place. Watching someone eat while on the job ...
Men's hat etiquette11/22/2009
  Q: I am an artist who will be showing at a juried art show tomorrow and my boyfriend did not have time ...
  A: This is a pet peeve of mine. Men do not wear hats inside, period! Perhaps at a really 'artsy' ...
Dr.-Patient good manners11/21/2009
  Q: This may be unusual, but here it is:My chiropractor, who is younger than I, said "If I were an OLDER ...
  A: I have availed myself of the expertise of chiropractors for many years. It is no secret that as we ...
Various Questions11/17/2009
  Q: I have been thinking of several etiquette dilemmas recently and was wondering if you could please ...
  A: It is indeed rude to sip whilst chewing. Try it in the mirror sometime and you'll soon see why. In ...
NEW IMMIGRANT FIRST DAY AT OFFICE IN CANADA11/4/2009
  Q: My name is Sarah and i've just moved from Pakistan to Toronto. i got a job in downtown and will ...
  A: I know how difficult that alone was in addition to speaking of your situation. My advice is to ...
Retirement Dinner10/28/2009
  Q: I have been invited to a small retirement dinner for a colleague that is being held at another ...
  A: You are implying that because the party is being catered and the host is not slaving over a hot ...
who pays for the movie?10/27/2009
  Q: We have a 12.5 yr. old daughter who is an only child. We would like to know when we invite a friend ...
  A: You are 100% correct. I can't imagine what these other parents are thinking. This is a perfect time ...
50th Anniversary "Dutch Treat" Local Resturant10/25/2009
  Q: Is it etiquette to invite family and close friends to a 50th Anniversary with notation on invitation ...
  A: No, it is not proper etiquette to send out an invitation stating 'Dutch Treat'. Such invitations are ...
Teapot gift10/23/2009
  Q: Jay, since you were so wonderful with my question about friends inviting me out for a 40th birthday ...
  A: This is kind of humorous really. By all means, phone the mother and explain the situation. Simply ...
acknowledging birthday cards10/23/2009
  Q: Is it necesisary to acknowledge greeting cards ?
  A: Although it would not be appropriate to acknowledge a card with a note (unless it had a nice fat ...
News stories about President Obama10/22/2009
  Q: It is appreciated. I searched and found your answer with regard to speaking TO the President; ...
  A: Boyd, Thanks or asking this good question. News anchors are not arbiters of proper etiquette or ...
Party invite10/22/2009
  Q: My husband and I were recently invited to a friend's 40th birthday party. The husband sent out the ...
  A: I agree with you completely about this whole dynamic being 'a bit tacky'. Proper etiquette dictates ...
address married couple10/16/2009
  Q: I was trained by the old Emily Post system that when addressing an envelope for a married couple if ...
  A: There is a bit of a grey area here. The 'new' protocol as you put it, follows the old Mr and Mrs ...
Large amount of funeral thank you's10/16/2009
  Q: My friend recently lost her husband and has had an overwhelming show of support. So much so, that ...
  A: I would avoid sending email thank you notes. Protocol does suggest a thank you note for flowers, ...
Handshakes - remain seated or stand?10/12/2009
  Q: I'm a secretary in a very small office and my desk sits right by the entrance to our suite. ...
  A: Dinner tables and business offices are two different spaces. In business, it is proper that you ...
Barmitzvah invitation etiquette10/7/2009
  Q: My boyrfriend recently received an invitation to a bar mitzvah that did not include a guest even ...
  A: It is absolutely appropriate for your boyfriend to accept the invitation and attend the event alone. ...
Gift buying10/5/2009
  Q: My husband and I were invited to an engagement party, to which we cannot attend. Should we buy a ...
  A: The decision to buy a gift is completely yours. People do buy gifts for engagement parties. Keep in ...
We have a friend moving in...10/2/2009
  Q: A friend of ours (mine & my fiance's) is in a tough spot right now and needs a new place to move ...
  A: This may help initially. Be sure to show the new tenant how to operate the washer and dryer, shower ...
Gift Receiving Etiquette9/30/2009
  Q: is not opening a birthday gift a slap in the face. My husband says thank you but does not open his ...
  A: I am a little confused by this question. Does he not open them right away or does he never open ...
Bar/Bat Mitzvah invitation for Twins9/29/2009
  Q: I have boy/girl twins who will share a Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The invitations will have both of their ...
  A: Send the invitations as you suggest. People will give a gift if they so choose to either or both of ...
Gifts9/27/2009
  Q: I have a problem, and it may sound petty, but to me it is not. My husband and I give gifts to ...
  A: I have really never heard of this behavior before. It is very odd indeed and I can certainly ...
Money for a Honeymoon9/24/2009
  Q: My grandson is getting married. The couple have requested money for a Honeymoon and no gifts. I do ...
  A: You may not have heard of this before. As long as it does not appear on their wedding invitation, ...
wording for paper9/21/2009
  Q: In placing the newspaper announcement for my parent's 50th wedding anniversary. How do we word it, ...
  A: I apologize for the tardy response, but our internet connection has been dodgy lately. At any rate, ...
House Warming Party9/17/2009
  Q: I have a three part question in a sense. My husband and I just bought our first home with a generous ...
  A: I advise that you make up the list of people you want to invite to the party. Send them invitations. ...
Past Mayors9/10/2009
  Q: I have to introduce one of our past Mayors and I am not sure how to introduce him. He just left the ...
  A: In this case the choice is yours, but here are the two choices. The Honorable WW Herenton or Dr. WW ...
Proper request for family visit duration9/9/2009
  Q: Jay, My mother contacted me and wants to visit for Thanksgiving. I happen to be off that week, so I ...
  A: Your mother is out of line. It is your house and you are the host. You call the shots which includes ...
Death of a friend- far away9/2/2009
  Q: One of my best friends passed away suddenly and very unexpectedly a couple of days ago. He lived in ...
  A: Do you have any contact information for any of his other friends or family? You will need to obtain ...
death of newlywed8/28/2009
  Q: A friend's niece was married about 2 months ago and the newlywed husband died suddenly of a heart ...
  A: First of all, my condolences to your family. What a terrible tragedy to endure. Condolences and ...
Graduation announcements8/26/2009
  Q: I am very close from graduating from an online based college. After becoming a mom and wife ...
  A: It is absolutely appropriate to send out announcements. Be clear what you have accomplished and ...
mother in law8/24/2009
  Q: My question is regarding my mother in law. Our relationship has been rocky since this past ...
  A: Holy mackerel! I have never heard of such a thing, and thank you for not insisting on this tale be ...
Talking and Conversations during a family dinner8/21/2009
  Q: I heard that during dinner time,you shouldn't talk hence have conversations because it's bad table ...
  A: Dinner is a time when families and friends should have good conversations. Arguing should be avoided ...
birthdays8/18/2009
  Q: I know someone who I see only once a week for a few hours when I work part-time at her store. We are ...
  A: Score keeping is a dangerous dynamic when it comes to relationships of any kind. If you want to give ...
Water glass8/17/2009
  Q: I was dining at a french restaurant the other night and the waiter kept moving my water glass to ...
  A: The answer depends on where you move your water glass to begin with. If it is in his way, he should ...
Shower party gifts8/10/2009
  Q: When you play games at a Baby or Bridal shower, who should the prizes go to? Should they go to the ...
  A: In my opinion, the prize goes to the winner of the contest. Otherwise, it wouldn't be a contest as ...
Hello8/9/2009
  Q: I'm having my 13th birthday soon and I want to invite my friends in MY AGE GROUP. BUT,my parents ...
  A: You need to have an honest discussion with your mother about this. She and your father are most ...
etiquette for addressing envelopes8/8/2009
  Q: How does one address an envelope when the husband is a physician and the wife is a Pastor? Would ...
  A: Traditionally it would be correct to list them as Dr. John Carpenter and The Reverend Angela ...
grandshild birthday party of divorced grandparents8/7/2009
  Q: Could you please provide the proper etiquette for divorced grandparents to attend their grandchild's ...
  A: The answer depends on the age of the child, the current relationship between the two 'grandparents', ...
borrowed book returned damaged8/5/2009
  Q: I lent my $200 Biology book to my sister-in-law. She returned it with water damage on a lot of the ...
  A: The old expression goes, "No sense in crying over spilt milk." However, in this case, you might want ...
daughters baby shower7/31/2009
  Q: My daughters fiances mother wants to have a baby shower for her. She asked if she can have it in my ...
  A: Your new soon-to-be in law is nuts. I wouldn't even call it 'taking advantage' - just nuts. She is ...
Returning a gift7/29/2009
  Q: My sister-in-law is well off but likes to give knockoff gifts (although I felt insulated but to keep ...
  A: Be grateful for the gifts. Continue to regift them if necessary. Teach your daughter to be thankful ...
Names7/28/2009
  Q: for a dual retirement luncheon/ceremony, how are the names listed? in honor of Mr and Mrs John ...
  A: With the little information I have, I am going to assume that both people are are of equal status as ...
Visitor etiquette - bedroom use7/27/2009
  Q: Is it reasonable to ask a child (21 yrs old) to allow a visitor to use their bedroom for one night ...
  A: If the child is living at his parents' house, it is reasonable to inform the child that their ...
thank you for surprise party7/26/2009
  Q: What is the protocol for thanking the guests that attended a surprise party? Is it required to send ...
  A: Thank you notes for surprise parties would be the same as any other party. If they give you a gift, ...
proper eticate7/22/2009
  Q: IS IT OK TO SEND FLOWERS ON AN ANNIVERSARY IF ONE OF THE PARTNERS HAS RECENTLY DIED
  A: There is no 'rule' about this and so I recommend common sense. It all depends on the couple, but I ...
Wedding Gift Thank Yous7/21/2009
  Q: I have not been thanked for a wedding gift given to my niece and her husband. Since it was ...
  A: The issue at hand here really is one of respect and gratitude. One can never be too old to learn ...
Men wearing hats indoors7/19/2009
  Q: Is there any etiquette regarding chewing gum in public? ANSWER: Dear Barbara, Thanks for asking ...
  A: This has not changed. It all goes back to the old days when men actually wore helmets. Helmets were ...
shower protocol7/17/2009
  Q: Is it considered correct etiquette to state in a shower invitation that they kindly request gifts ...
  A: I never saw the first email. At any rate, as I have stated many times before, one does not mention ...
When should I pick up the bill?7/16/2009
  Q: I'm in a bit of a complicated situation- I just started dating a 27 year-old guy. I'm 21 and in ...
  A: First of all, it makes no difference about gender. Second, it makes no difference about being ...
Ignored birthday greeting7/13/2009
  Q: I like this colleague of mine (not in a romantic way but in a civil working relationship sort of ...
  A: You are over reacting - big time. "Deeply saddened" is pretty dramatic for such a minor event. ...
HOUSEWARMING PARTY7/10/2009
  Q: i WOULD LIKE TO HOST A HOUSEWARMING FOR MY DAUGHTER WHO IS PURCHASING HER FIRST HOME AT 26 YEARS ...
  A: As I have said before, the mention of gifts on an invitation is verboten. The only way to handle ...
passengers7/8/2009
  Q: I have a four door car and I want to know if two men and one woman are the passengers where should ...
  A: In most cases, I tend to invite the woman to sit up front. In a formal situation the 'best seat' is ...
Boyfriend's Birthday Dinner6/30/2009
  Q: My boyfriend of four months has asked me out for dinner with his family for his birthday. As far as ...
  A: If your boyfriend invited you out to dinner, he must pay. Do not even offer. What you might do which ...
historical etiquette6/26/2009
  Q: I am setting a historical 1859 table to celebrate my states sesquicentennial. I am not clear as to ...
  A: That puts things at around 1859. Although not scarce, paper would not likely have been used for the ...
house warming party request6/22/2009
  Q: I would like to have a house warming party, where guests are not to bring house warming presents but ...
  A: I must tell you that I have answered upwards of 600 questions on this site and this is far and away ...
Thanking someone for a check &/or money6/19/2009
  Q: What is the proper wording to use in thanking someone who has sent a check or cash as a wedding ...
  A: You are definitely on the right track. A hand written note thanking them for the money - if it's ...
invitations6/16/2009
  Q: I am hosting a Company birthday party and require assistance with wording on the invitation. This ...
  A: It isn't the wording of the invitation that is the issue here. It's the name on the envelope. If you ...
Fronting money for friends to do errands6/16/2009
  Q: Occasionally I ask friends to run errands for me. They usually get paid for doing such errands. On ...
  A: As simple or as complicated as you want to make this, you have participated as an enabler to some ...
Opening rival business6/15/2009
  Q: I am a Sign Language Interpreter. I work for a company that handles both video relay (call center) ...
  A: No matter what, your boss will likely feel threatened. Or he won't, depending upon his basic ...
How to address someone in a letter6/8/2009
  Q: I have to write to a British Ambassador abroad refusing an invitation to a Reception. How do I ...
  A: I assume that as you are from the UK that abroad means outside the UK. To quote Robert Hickey's ...
Husbands 50th birthday6/2/2009
  Q: I am having a surprise 50th party for my husband. Catered in food and drinks are supplied. People ...
  A: There really is no way to include the wish for cash on an invitation. The way to spread the word ...
Crying baby(ies) in (my) doctor's office6/1/2009
  Q: I work for an group of OBGYN doctors so we have lots and lots of babies in the waiting room. More ...
  A: You do have a problem - a big one. There is no sign or polite way to ask the parents to leave the ...
Clique-y gatherings5/31/2009
  Q: Remer, These are two questions folded into one. I occasionally find myself in an environment where ...
  A: Your honesty is very helpful. In the first case, you are close. Perhaps something along the lines ...
Bar Mitzvah Gift5/29/2009
  Q: I am attending my first Bar Mitzvah this coming August - 13yr old boy - what would you recommend as ...
  A: Bar Mitzvahs are important religious celebrations. The traditional gift for the boy is a fountain ...
etiquette on vacation invitation5/26/2009
  Q: We have a girls trip planned that one of the girls boyfriend pays for. This year my boyfriend wants ...
  A: A girls' trip is not a girls' trip if guys come along. I have no idea why your boyfriend would want ...
Following a Hostess in a Restaurant5/24/2009
  Q: I wanted to ask a follow-up question but it said the expert who had answered my original question ...
  A: I have not seen the original question; however, Ms. Lett is an experienced expert in etiquette. We ...
Family Funeral-who comes? Ex husband or boyfriend?5/22/2009
  Q: My stepmother passed away. My boyfriend of 6 months has never met my father or stepmother. I was ...
  A: This is a family affair. Your ex husband takes precedence over your current boyfriend in this case. ...
Black Tie Fundraiser5/20/2009
  Q: A good friend of my husband has invited us to attend a black tie dinner this weekend, which is a ...
  A: What a nice invitation. You are under no obligation to make a donation or to bid on any of the ...
dinner etiquette5/19/2009
  Q: My sister-in-law insists that nobody at the table eat before everyone is seated - everyone but her ...
  A: Your sister in law makes a good point. She misses the mark by a mile by not sitting down before the ...
baby gift from brother's ex-wife5/19/2009
  Q: About a year ago, my brother found out that his wife of 7 years was cheating on him. After about 6 ...
  A: It definitely falls outside of the strict etiquette realm, but here is my take. As I see it you have ...
birthday party5/15/2009
  Q: I will be taken out my boyfriend for dinner to celebrate his birthday. This is all he wants because ...
  A: You cannot put on an invitation anything about others paying. If you are hosting a party, you must ...
Invitation or mailing label ettiquette5/14/2009
  Q: I am preparing for a wedding! Since my Fiance and I are the payees behind everything, I was ...
  A: Congratulations are in order! Your name should appear first on any correspondence bearing both of ...
Proper Titles5/12/2009
  Q: Is it appropriate to address an individual with a Doctorate in Psychology as "Dr. Mary Smith"? I ...
  A: In social situations, honorifics are generally not used, so it would be Ms. Mary Smith. On the ...
GRADUATION INVITATIONS5/11/2009
  Q: My grandaughter will graduate from high school on 6/12/09 and is getting ready to send out ...
  A: Technically, no it is not proper to run an invitation through the computer to address it. The effort ...
work place etiquette5/9/2009
  Q: I own a retail shop in a small town in south Texas and sublet the back room to a lady that has an ...
  A: I do apologize for taking so long to answer you. We had to put one of our dogs to sleep and I have ...
Thanking a new employer5/7/2009
  Q: My husband has just secured an exciting new position after recently being retrenched and I was ...
  A: Thank you gifts and notes can be misconstrued and are not appropriate in the business world in this ...
appropriate attire for NYC weekend.5/7/2009
  Q: My wife and I are going to NYC for the weekend to visit our son. He is in a rock-n-roll band there. ...
  A: I lived in NYC for years and went to hundreds of shows. One of the nice things about NY is that it ...
Addressing envelopes5/5/2009
  Q: Is it appropriate to print labels to stick on envelopes to mail grad invitations? or do we have to ...
  A: It is always nicer to hand write invitations. If there are simply too many to manage without ...
Informal social/dinner invitation4/30/2009
  Q: I a have a few questions regarding an informal, over the phone, invitation I received from a friend. ...
  A: A series of questions is fine and for you actually helps solve your problem. The first thing to ...
family issues4/28/2009
  Q: my husband and I have been married 20 years.Two years ago his grandson graduated from college,he ...
  A: This is a mistake for sure, unless there's something frightening you're not mentioning. Your husband ...
Gift for Escort at Debutante Ball4/22/2009
  Q: Can you tell me what kind of gifts are given to the escorts at a Debutante Ball. A gift from the ...
  A: There are no gifts given to an escort at a Debutante ball. There has never been such a custom. I ...
introduction to Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton4/21/2009
  Q: How should I address Hillary Clinton when introduced to her? Is it Madam Secretary or Mrs. Clinton? ...
  A: With the secretary of state, it is Madam Secretary, not Mrs. Clinton. With a past president it is ...
college inviation return address4/19/2009
  Q: Need to be totally clear on this. My son is graduating from college & the company we ordered ...
  A: It is graduation time and there will be lots of questions concerning what the right thing to do is. ...
seating4/11/2009
  Q: Should the female be seated to the right or left of her male companion assuming they are adjacent to ...
  A: The place of honor is always on the right, so depending on where one is sitting; i.e. car, dining ...
Grandmother's 90th Birthday4/10/2009
  Q: I live in the UK and sadly can't attend my Grandmother's 90th birthday in Toronto. She is turn such ...
  A: To me, the choice of pearls would not be at the top of the list. What comes to mind first is a way ...
Gift giving - Allowing Time4/9/2009
  Q: I recently bought a birthday gift for my best friend's three-year-old son for his birthday. I got ...
  A: I can tell from your tone that this is a real concern for you. This is how I would handle this. ...
college graduation w/ honors4/8/2009
  Q: my son is graduating from college, magna cum laude. his school's graduation announcement gives no ...
  A: Congratulations to your son for this truly remarkable achievement. I would suggest a business size ...
Graduation Announcements4/7/2009
  Q: Remer, At 35, I am finally receiving my first bachelor's degree in business in May. Of course, ...
  A: I will try to explain this clearly and simply for you. First of all I want to congratulate you on ...
bridal shower4/7/2009
  Q: I have three short questions. Number 1, Should guests who don't R.S.V.P. be called and by whom? and ...
  A: One, guests should be called the host or hostess only if a real head count matters, such as in this ...
Co-worker's noisy nasal problem...4/6/2009
  Q: A co-worker of mine has a very nasty habit of sucking his mucus, VERY loudly, every minute or two. ...
  A: These sorts of personal questions require some compassion and some candor - a tricky combination. ...
Heart Attack4/1/2009
  Q: I work at my local elementary school, one of our volunteers husband has had a heart attack, I am not ...
  A: Follow your heart and you will be just fine. Think of what you would want in her situation. Call her ...
PotUS title protocol3/31/2009
  Q: I recently asked my local news anchor why they chose to address the sitting president as "mister". ...
  A: There is a certain gray area here where personal preference comes into play, namely the personal ...
potluck b-day3/28/2009
  Q: My daughter is turning one and I was wanting to do a potluck. Of course, I would provide the main ...
  A: I disagree with your sister-in-law. First of all, it's none of her business. Secondly, there is ...
Landlady tenant etiquette3/27/2009
  Q: I am moving out of my current apartment for a bigger place, I love my current space but its just ...
  A: Leaving the apartment as you found it or better is all a landlord would ever want. If you have ...
ex wives3/24/2009
  Q: My husbands ex-wife continues to show up at family funerals. We have been married 23 years now and ...
  A: You haven't really asked a question here, but I understand what's on your mind. I have answered ...
relative's body odor3/23/2009
  Q: My mother-in -law (and father-in-law) have, for a few years now, had serious body odor problems that ...
  A: Because no most people this is a no brainer, it makes it all the more difficult to deal with. Taking ...
who should receive college graduation announcements3/22/2009
  Q: Our son is graduating and we now know sending announcements 2 weeks after is proper. My question is ...
  A: As a rule of thumb, announcements can really be sent out to everyone whom you want to know about ...
table etiquette--how to serve cookies3/15/2009
  Q: what is the best way of serving dry cookies on a silver platter? More specifically: should a tray ...
  A: Paper doilies work very well in this case. The main reason for this is that people are likely to ...
Birthday Party Invitation3/14/2009
  Q: My boyfriends daughter is turning 21 this month. She sent an evite to 100 people through Facebook. ...
  A: If it were me, I would expect to go to the party and that everything would be paid for by the host. ...
baby announcement for paper3/13/2009
  Q: My daughter just had a little baby girl, and they live out of the area. I want to write a local ...
  A: In this day and age, it really depends on the relationship family members have with one another ...
group dinner conversation3/8/2009
  Q: Is it rude to have a quiet conversation with the person next to you at a group dinner when there ...
  A: It is definitely not rude to have a quiet conversation with the person you are sitting next to. ...
grandson's wedding3/5/2009
  Q: am i obligated to give my grandson a party of any kind?
  A: Juneau, Thanks for asking this question. No one is obligated to give a party. There are many reasons ...
gift etiquette3/4/2009
  Q: My sister has 2 grown sons. One is graduating with his bachelors degree from Rutgers and the other ...
  A: This situation implies that there is more importance attached to the Rutgers degree than to the ...
RSVP for more than invited3/3/2009
  Q: Following the invite etiquette, I've addressed the envelopes specifically to those invited and the ...
  A: At least with email, you needn't embarrass them face to face. You can simply send them a note saying ...
signing a birthday card3/1/2009
  Q: Our son has been dating this girl for over one year and we would like to give her a small gift but ...
  A: Use the form of address that she uses when speaking to you. If you are, for example, Mr and Mrs. ...
graduation announcement3/1/2009
  Q: Would it be proper to somehow indicate in the gradation announcement for our daughter's graduation ...
  A: The rule about gifts and invitations is that they don't go hand in hand, except i this case. You can ...
dissertation committee thank-you gift protocol2/28/2009
  Q: I have been working toward a PhD since 2002 and am about to defend my disssertation to complete the ...
  A: Although a card would be appreciated, a gift would be inappropriate. It looks like bribery. In some ...
Borrowing and returning items2/24/2009
  Q: Remer! Thank you for your time and advice! 4 years ago my mom sent me 10 handmade scarves, while ...
  A: I can tell from the emotion in your writing that this means a great deal to you. In my opinion, this ...
Roommate Etiquette2/24/2009
  Q: I am relocating this summer & I have a friend who said I can stay with him until I land a job, find ...
  A: I can only respond to this particular e-mail address. 'They' edit out the other one. You are ...
Winery/Tasting Room Open House2/23/2009
  Q: Friends of ours are having a private open house at their new winery/tasting room (central ...
  A: The safest thing to give a friend like this who likely has everything is a nice silver or ...
table manners2/22/2009
  Q: Is it proper for an adult male to wear a baseball cap/hat at the dinner/supper table while eating.
  A: It is not proper for anyone to wear a baseball cap inside a building(other than a sports dome), let ...
Mother's 90th Birthday Celebration2/21/2009
  Q: Can I ask friends and family to pay a small amount to attend this celebration making it similar to a ...
  A: I have often heard this question in varying forms, but never quite like this one. First of all, the ...
Is there a polite way to invite yourself into someone's house?2/20/2009
  Q: I live far away from the city where most of my friends and family are. I make a special effort to ...
  A: This is not a matter of who is right. This is a matter of being honest and straight forward with ...
Arrival times2/18/2009
  Q: I don't know what to do about this, everytime a family member comes to visit or say they will visit, ...
  A: Although I am not crystal clear on what you are asking I think I have the general idea. First of ...
letter to Mayor of London2/17/2009
  Q: How do i address a letter to Boris Johnson the Mayor of London
  A: As follow is the answer: The Right Honourable the Lord Mayor of the City of London Boris Johnson ...
Shower invitations2/13/2009
  Q: My uncle past away 3 months ago and I am sending out my bridal shower invitations but I don't know ...
  A: You should absolutely send them the invitations. What a gentle way for them to begin to celebrate ...
birthday invite2/12/2009
  Q: I recently made plans to take a friend out to dinner for her birthday. After the plans were made, ...
  A: This is how I would handle this inappropriate request. First of all, assume that the birthday girl ...
Office Manners2/9/2009
  Q: I employ 5 people in a small manufacturing shop. I don't have a problem with my employees talking ...
  A: Perhaps you've heard the expression, 'give them an inch and they'll take a mile'? This is exactly ...
obituary2/4/2009
  Q: The family is drafting my grandmother's obituary. What is the rule governing the inclusion of ...
  A: There is no rule governing the writing of obituaries. Just read the obituary page some time. ...
former mayor title2/3/2009
  Q: How would I address a man who was a mayor of a city and is now working in another city in a ...
  A: You would address him as Mr. In formal introductions he would be referred to as The Honorable, ...
Proper Gift2/3/2009
  Q: I've been invited to the ceremony for a friend who has been promoted to Colonel in the army. Do I ...
  A: There is no better group of individuals to honor for promotions than out armed forces. Personally, I ...
in law bridesmaid2/2/2009
  Q: My son is getting married he has one sister and my feelings are crushed his fiance did not ask her ...
  A: These questions are not really about etiquette, but I'm happy to give you my input. Your son needs ...
looking for a word2/2/2009
  Q: What word would be used to decribe an invite- when you are inviting someone to something that you ...
  A: Although this isn't an etiquette question, it's an interesting question nonetheless - not to imply ...
party invitations1/30/2009
  Q: What is a non-offensive way to word an birthday dinner invitation that lets people know that they ...
  A: Unfortunately for you there is no way to do this. Invitations, by definition, are issued by a host. ...
Ex-husband shows up with girlfriend at sons and ex-inlaws during the holiday.1/29/2009
  Q: My ex-husband who really has no relationship with my son and I showed up Christmas at my son's house ...
  A: Your ex husband is clearly in the wrong here, not to speak of his current girl friend. Neither one ...
Introductions1/28/2009
  Q: What is the proper etiquette for introductions when out to eat, etc. and my date spots casual ...
  A: Your date should introduce you. If he does not do so, then you should feel free to introduce ...
Social etiquette1/27/2009
  Q: When addressing an envelope with both man and woman of the couple being doctors, how should the ...
  A: When both persons are medical doctors and share the same surname, you can address the envelope Drs. ...
Favors1/26/2009
  Q: Jay, A friend I recently got acquainted. We're not closed. One day, at lunch, I noticed her ...
  A: You did do the right thing by returning the earrings. They weren't what you wanted and the game ...
Gift exchange whatnot1/25/2009
  Q: When socializing in a group; I always have friends that like to do gift exchange(be it birthday, bon ...
  A: I completely understand how you feel about this. There is some responsibility that lies with you, ...
A dispute between brothers1/25/2009
  Q: I was hoping you would lend your impartial ear to this debate between my brother and I. This ...
  A: You are a master of making excuses. Unfortunately none of them are any good. You and your wife are ...
thank you gift etiquette1/24/2009
  Q: We recently offered our used infant car seat to an acquaintance whom we knew was expecting a baby. ...
  A: Please, quietly accept the gift. In her eyes, she felt it was appropriate. I agree with her. She is ...
Family visit etiquette1/23/2009
  Q: My father and mother-in law let us know about an impending visit/stay in our home by faxing their ...
  A: This is totally unacceptable. The operative word here is RESPECT. They have none for you or your ...
Men with Straws1/22/2009
  Q: I was raised in the southern U.S. (Tennessee) and my father always taught me that boys/men don't use ...
  A: There are no strict rules on the use of straws. However, common sense would dictate that straws are ...
birthday toasts1/22/2009
  Q: I'm having a 50th birthday party for my husband at a very casual local bar/restaurant--including a ...
  A: I think the way to handle this is to ask his brother if he would be willing to make a toast during ...
not inviting someone on vacation1/22/2009
  Q: My 4 friends and I are planning a trip to New York City this coming May. The dilemma is that we do ...
  A: Although this is not a real etiquette question, I will still give you my advice, which like ...
addressing the president of US1/20/2009
  Q: I am in a disagreement with a local news station. They are saying it is of good manners to call a ...
  A: The newslady was dead wrong! A sitting president's surname is never used in conversation. He is ...
University Graduation Announcements1/20/2009
  Q: After over 10 years I will finally be graduating from university with my bachelor's degree. I live ...
  A: The first thing to remember is that announcements are usually sent out two weeks after the ceremony. ...
New year house party1/16/2009
  Q: At a B.Y.O.B party, can you take home extra booze you brought in case it may have been needed? Also ...
  A: At a B.Y.O.B. party you can take home whatever you bring that you do not consume. Be aware however ...
Sympathy Card Etiquette1/15/2009
  Q: It is our policy at our museum to review the obituaries and forward a sympathy card to our former ...
  A: Three weeks is fine, five is pushing it. You don't want to appear as though you are looking for ...
ex spouses1/15/2009
  Q: I have been divorced for 14 years. My former husband did not participate in any way with our three ...
  A: There are certain things we have control over and certain things we don't. In this case, the only ...
gifts1/12/2009
  Q: I know a couple who are retired and relatively well off. They have helped me in the past.(not ...
  A: I can only guess that there folks don't want you spending your hard earned money on them. That's sad ...
Etiquette in receiving nasty re-gifted items1/12/2009
  Q: I received a belated Christmas gift from my dad/grandma that was thrown into a brown paper bag with ...
  A: I am really surprised that anyone, let alone your father, would have the nerve to do this. It shows ...
greeting / talking from a car1/12/2009
  Q: my question is if a man drives past another man (neighbour) and stops for a chat (more than 15 min), ...
  A: I am unaware of any specific reference to this situation. In my opinion, it would be polite to pull ...
my place is to small1/11/2009
  Q: We have aquaintences,that are friends of our friends.......I invited them to a birthday dinner ...
  A: Let me give you some advice here. You are hosting the party. You call the shots. It sounds like that ...
Lunch Aromas In Office Space1/9/2009
  Q: We work in a tight newsroom with barely any ventilation and windows that cannot open due to ...
  A: Small spaces call for big respect when it comes to food odors, colognes, noises, or anything else ...
can a wife have a private christening without inviting her husband or his family1/8/2009
  Q: Can a wife have a private christening without inviting her husband or his family?
  A: I suppose there could be some bizarre scenario whereby this would be possible, but as a rule I would ...
behreavement donations to family1/6/2009
  Q: Close friends of ours recently lost their young son very unexpectedly. While attending the services ...
  A: What a very sad situation. There are many ways people can help at such times. Although cash is ...
50th Anniversary invitations1/2/2009
  Q: We are giving my parents a 50th anniversary celebration. They don't need gifts of gold tray etc., or ...
  A: The only way to handle 'no gifts' is not via the invitation. This should be done word of mouth if at ...
Christmas gift giving1/1/2009
  Q: My sister (age 42) and I (age 40) exchange Christmas gifts for our children. We have always set a ...
  A: You are right. You are being way too petty. You have missed the entire spirit of gift giving. If ...
Thank you cards for Christmas gifts12/29/2008
  Q: MyIs it proper etiquette to write thank you notes to family members who give you Christmas gifts ...
  A: Thank you notes are always proper etiquette. In families who see each other often and live close by, ...
religion in the office12/23/2008
  Q: We have someone in the office that is religious and each year he gives everybody in the office ...
  A: This is one of the most inappropriate gifts I can imagine. I can see how a number of people could be ...
X spouse12/23/2008
  Q: I am married to a man who has an xspouse since 1999 that attends all of his family's wakes/funerals ...
  A: This woman needs to be stopped. Unfortunately it is up to your husband to take care of this ...
Theater Etiquette12/22/2008
  Q: When taking one's seat in a theater, is it appropriate to face towards or away from those seated, in ...
  A: There is no rule written in stone on this, however I always face the front of the theatre while ...
high school graduation announcements12/21/2008
  Q: I have a niece who lives at a boarding school in Kenya Africa. Her parents have been missionaries ...
  A: Graduation announcements are sent out after the graduation. There should be no mention of gifts on ...
Grandmothers death12/21/2008
  Q: This is a strange question, but here we go... My grandmother just passed. I have not seen her in ...
  A: The choice is yours on this one. Token sympathy cards are a waste of time. If you have a heartfelt ...
Addressing Envelopes12/19/2008
  Q: When addressing envelopes to a husband and wife who do not wish to go by Mr. and Mrs. is to proper ...
  A: When addressing envelopes, using honorifics (Mr. and Mrs.) is very standard. You could use Mr. Dick ...
Social Faux Pas12/18/2008
  Q: Recently my girlfriend's parents (her Dad and Stepmother) took us on an all-expenses-paid trip to ...
  A: First of all, let me say that your girlfriend's Dad is a wonderful man for presenting this the way ...
printed note cards12/17/2008
  Q: I know on a pre-printed card one should always sign one's own name rather than let the pre-printed ...
  A: Princess Diana would do this to personalize the card and for the person to know that she actually ...
debutante ball12/16/2008
  Q: I would like to hold a debutante ball or a cotillion for a fundraiser. I know some sororities host ...
  A: This is an immense subject. The planning involved in such an event is very complex. Think of it as ...
Paying a Call12/14/2008
  Q: My mother made a spontaneous call on my father's Boss's wife and was turned away and asked to call ...
  A: This is a pet peeve of mine mostly because of how I was raised. I was taught never to call on ...
deep pockets, short arms12/13/2008
  Q: I am in a group of 5 friends from school 40 years ago who meet most weeks and have meals including ...
  A: First, let me say that I am about to celebrate my 40th reunion with my classmates and think it is ...
guest took home left over wine12/12/2008
  Q: I host Easter, Thanksgiving, and Xmas in my family. A relative asked could they bring anything, and ...
  A: The worst thing about this picture is the fact that they cornered your housekeeper. Taking home ...
wording of invite12/9/2008
  Q: Do you think its proper or improper for the wording on the invitation for a 50th anniversary party ...
  A: I am on your side with this one. Especially if you are in fact a hostess (ie paying for the affair), ...
Break ups12/6/2008
  Q: My best friend, Bryn and my Brother in law, jarred started kind of dating.... (he just got out of a ...
  A: This is really not about etiquette, but I will give you the advice that I think will be helpful. ...
family visits11/29/2008
  Q: My husband has brothers that frequently come to visit us. Both are bachelors and both live a good ...
  A: You are showing the patience of Job. This is how I see your situation. First of all, you and your ...
Holidays with my Ex11/27/2008
  Q: I have been divorced for 10 years and have two daughters, 30 and 31. Both are married and one has ...
  A: Your children are out of line here. You may want to consider having a discussion with your daughters ...
Bar Etiquette11/27/2008
  Q: A friend has what I would call a rude habit and I am asking if you agree, and if so what should we ...
  A: As you describe these situations, I consider them to be rude, especially if you are there with him ...
Pre Christmas drinks11/24/2008
  Q: I would like to invite a few guests for pre Christmas drinks in the early afternoon, guests to leave ...
  A: What a lovely idea! When you extend the invitation (either verbally or written) be sure to state the ...
wedding invitation11/21/2008
  Q: Recently I received a wedding invitation that was addressed by the motther of the groom (I am quite ...
  A: To be frank, you are incorrect here. There are untold numbers of weddings which occur each year ...
Visiting Family and Accomodations11/20/2008
  Q: I live ~400 miles from my Parents, and while I do enjoy having them visit, to spend time with us and ...
  A: This is a case of total lack of respect for you and your family. Your mother is way out of line ...
Christmas gift giving . . .11/19/2008
  Q: I'm the president of a small homeowners association--ten townhouses. I have discovered that last ...
  A: Your association should remind the tenants that the mail man and the UPS man should not be forgotten ...
Thanksgiving Dinner11/19/2008
  Q: My husband and I are hosting Thanksgiving this year for his family. We have agreed that I will ...
  A: The old saying that you can pick your friends but not your family is alive and well I see. I agree ...
Trying Foods at a Pot Luck11/19/2008
  Q: At a recent office pot luck I had a friend and coworker become offended that I didn't try her salad, ...
  A: You did not exhibit poor manners in this situation, your friend did. Your tastes are such that you ...
Wording for Invitation...11/18/2008
  Q: I want to invite 12 of my husbands friends to dinner at a Japanese (pricey) restaurant. I am ...
  A: This is yet another variation on a question involving hosting a party but not paying for it ...
memorial donations to nonprofit11/12/2008
  Q: I run a nonprofit raising money for hepatitis C research. I am in the process of setting up a ...
  A: Although there is no set protocol for this, I think notifying the families about your website and ...
opeining gifts at a retirement party11/11/2008
  Q: What is the proper etiquette about opening gifts at a retirement party if I am the recipient? It is ...
  A: It is your choice entirely. People often times find it entertaining to see the expression on your ...
15 year gift11/10/2008
  Q: I would like to know if the amount of money on a child should go up as the child gets older I have ...
  A: The amount of money you spend on a child has nothing whatsoever to do with his age. Their wants and ...
thanksgiving and in laws11/9/2008
  Q: My husband said I should not have my mom and papa come to his sister's house for thanksgiving, ...
  A: Your husband is dead wrong on this.You are right in saying that when two people get married, ...
academic titles11/7/2008
  Q: First, thank you for the answer to the newly minted Ph.D. I also have the following and don't know ...
  A: Although this can be a matter of personal preference, I would certainly agree with you about the ...
cancelling an employee holiday party11/4/2008
  Q: For many years, our President has hosted a formal holiday party for staff and board members. This ...
  A: I think the wording you have sent me is excellent. You do not need to feel embarrassed or provide an ...
Thank you's for Bday presents11/3/2008
  Q: I am a 22 year old University student and live away from home. I have an extremely tight budget but ...
  A: You are indeed a generous person. The fact of the matter is that children are not born with an ...
Addressing Female Doctors11/3/2008
  Q: I have a question about distinguishing female doctors from their doctor husbands in conversation. ...
  A: A medical doctor is always referred to as Dr. whether male or female. Some one holding a doctorate ...
strange response11/2/2008
  Q: I am not sure if this is an etiquette question but this is as close as I can find on this website ...
  A: I think it sounds like the woman may still be grieving. It also sounds like she may be a bit ...
bald head from chemo11/1/2008
  Q: my husband wants to go to church but dosen't want to take his cap off. Is this exceptable? we have ...
  A: Your husband really should remove his cap whenever he is inside a church or other building. I can ...
Signatures on Greeting Cards10/31/2008
  Q: I just saw your answer about male-dominated societies putting the man's name first when signing ...
  A: And I apologize for taking so long to reply. Women do in fact still take precedence over men in ...
dining with United Nations Ambassadors10/31/2008
  Q: I am hosting a dinner for United Nations Ambassaadors and their wives and some of them are bringing ...
  A: Given that children are invited, I am assuming this is an informal gathering. There are many strict ...
Themed Pot Luck - sort of10/31/2008
  Q: Working on a themed dinner for Christmas for approximately 25 guests. We are providing all of the ...
  A: You can't put any mention of this very good idea on the the invitation as suggestions of gifts or ...
House Party10/30/2008
  Q: I share a house with someone. They are having a Halloween party and I have said I don't think it is ...
  A: Sharing a house with someone can have its challenges for sure. I hope you have your own bedroom ...
presents10/26/2008
  Q: I am about to have a birthday party for my 60th birthday. Without being presumptuous, I would ...
  A: It would actually be a good idea to have a card table with a guest book for your well wishers to ...
receiving thoughtless gifts10/24/2008
  Q: If someone gives you a gift that you don't like or need , is it ok to give it back to them and tell ...
  A: It is absolutely not okay to give a gift back to the donor. That would be rude and inconsiderate, ...
Prospective male boss insisting a married wumyn have dinner with him while traveling?10/24/2008
  Q: We just started a small business. So traveling would most likely come into the picture and we both ...
  A: This does fall more into the advice category more so than etiquette, but I will give you some advice ...
hand shakes10/23/2008
  Q: After 12 years of marriage I am now divorced. Every time I see my Ex in a social situations (kids ...
  A: There is no set protocol for these situations. Each divorce and relationship has its own dynamics. ...
etiquette10/21/2008
  Q: My husband and I were told to plan on going to a two night New Years celebration at a very nice ...
  A: This is indeed a bizarre situation. It is disrespectful and rude for someone to withdraw an ...
selling something that was given to you10/21/2008
  Q: My sister was going to throw out some older furniture. She asked me if I wanted it so I said sure. A ...
  A: In the strictest sense of the word, you are absolutely correct in what you did. Your sister is ...
Post Baptismal Party10/20/2008
  Q: I am having my son baptized on Nov 2. After mass, we are treating his Godparents to brunch at a ...
  A: There is no correct way to word this on an invitation. If you are hosting a party, you pay for it as ...
gift return10/19/2008
  Q: My mother in law has a habit of returning gifts to my husband and I that we have given to her or ...
  A: Your mother-in-law is struggling with life. I doubt she has any intention of being inconsiderate or ...
Guest ettiquette10/18/2008
  Q: My cousin has married into a very wealthy family, our family is middle class. I have been invited to ...
  A: Wealth aside, the mother-in-law needs a good shake. I have never heard of such a rude invitation ...
Acknowlegement Letters10/17/2008
  Q: When a donation is made to a nonprofit organization in someone's honor should you mention the ...
  A: Casalina, Thanks for asking this very good question. The answer is no. Often times such donations ...
First Birthday Invite10/16/2008
  Q: We are planning our daughter's first birthday party and are having a "green" theme. We thought it ...
  A: In my opinion, this is totally not acceptable. There certainly is no correct way to mention gifts on ...
professional credentials10/16/2008
  Q: Is it poor etiquette to have professional credentials appear on a personal e-mail or correspondence. ...
  A: There is no question that you worked hard to become a nurse. You are in a wonderful job and you are ...
Cancelling an event that was RSVP10/15/2008
  Q: I am a fundraiser for a symphony. I had scheduled a barbecue for members of our leadership giving ...
  A: Please forgive my tardiness in answering your good question. I have been having some computer ...
seating mothers at wedding10/15/2008
  Q: My son is getting married and he has a bio mother and stepfather who raised him, a bio father and ...
  A: Coming from a blended family myself I completely understand your confusion. Wedding ceremonies are ...
Best seating arrangements for a restaurant10/13/2008
  Q: I am an MA student in marketing and we have to do a marketing plan for a local ...
  A: There are several ways of handling this. If it is just 10 people, or even as many as 14, a long ...
white on cruises10/11/2008
  Q: Does the "do not wear white after Labor Day." rule apply to cruise ships? I say "no" and my ...
  A: You win on this one. Not only does the rule not apply to cruise ships, it's even being extended a ...
50 th weddng anniversary10/10/2008
  Q: We belong to a club and one of our members is having a 50th wedding anniversary. We would like to ...
  A: Variations on this question are asked every week. The answer is always the same. There really is no ...
Proper etiquette for testing blood sugar10/9/2008
  Q: My friend is insulin dependent diabetic. Before she begins a meal she will take out her tester and ...
  A: I would be totally offended too. Your friend should never do this at the table. This should be ...
sending out wedding invitations10/8/2008
  Q: Is the proper etiquette to not send an invitation to someone who has already told you they will be ...
  A: The answer is no. It is not proper etiquette to not send that person an invitation. If they are on ...
Rude speakers10/7/2008
  Q: Twice in the last several years I have attended events associated with adult alumni at which a ...
  A: The coincidence of this happening twice in a row begs the question of what kind of alumni ...
etiquette10/6/2008
  Q: I would like to host a party at a restaurant. How can I word the invitation so that it is clear ...
  A: When you invite someone to a party, whether at your home or a restaurant, it is understood that you ...
Proper address10/5/2008
  Q: how do you address a person who has a PhD?
  A: If someone has a Ph.D., let's say in English or History, they are addressed as Mr. or Ms. unless ...
Teenager Rude with Houseguest10/4/2008
  Q: We have a behavior issue with our otherwise good 15 year old teenager and we are not certain how to ...
  A: This is not really an issue about being rude. In my opinion your son is depressed, and telling him ...
Gifts between friends10/2/2008
  Q: A good friend and I, both single parents, have exchanged Christmas and b-day gifts for many years. ...
  A: It really isn't a question of etiquette as it is one for some good advice which I am happy to give ...
Belated wedding presents10/2/2008
  Q: In the past, I have neglected to give wedding presents to friends of mine when they got married. ...
  A: I would handle this situation by giving the couples anniversary gifts. I would avoid asking them ...
office whistler9/30/2008
  Q: There is a very sweet lady who works in our very small office and whistles often. This drives me ...
  A: Let's begin with the last sentence. I understand your not wanting to hurt her feelings. No one wants ...
Engagement party9/30/2008
  Q: I have recently been invited to an engagement party/bbq and was wondering, are you supposed to bring ...
  A: Although there is nothing that says that you have to bring a gift, I think it would be in very poor ...
belated sympathy9/29/2008
  Q: I just found out that a good friend lost her mother 2 months ago. We have not been in contact for ...
  A: It is never too late to express your heart felt sympathy to your friend over her loss. "Busy lives ...
Engagement etiquette9/29/2008
  Q: My daughter and her boyfriend just got engaged. They are well into their thirties. Should I ...
  A: As your daughter and her boyfriend are adults, hopefully gainfully employed, it is really up to them ...
mother's 80th bday9/26/2008
  Q: I have a room booked for my mother's birthday. I have 4 siblings who have children who are grown and ...
  A: which by the way has been answered many many times on here. The answer is YES. If you invite people ...
Using a gift certificate if we dine with another couple9/26/2008
  Q: We are going to dinner with friends. We have a gift certificate to the restaurant. can we use that ...
  A: It is perfectly fine to use your gift certificate. However, I would arrange payment out of view of ...
advice needed for encroaching priest9/25/2008
  Q: I need some sound advice. Please help. we own 2 homes in different parts of Texas due to a work ...
  A: I applaud you and your husband for trying to find a tactful way of saying no, but please remember, ...
walking etiquette9/24/2008
  Q: When on an outting, does the man walk ahead of or behind the woman
  A: Today, in the US or Canada, men and women walk side by side. The old custom of the gentleman walking ...
Thank you9/23/2008
  Q: I recently hosted a couples baby shower for friends of mine. I put a lot of work into it (hand made ...
  A: I am appalled. The very least you should have gotten was a beautiful hand written note. A phone call ...
Child's Birthday Invitation9/22/2008
  Q: In the past parents have asked exactly what type of gift should they bring from my son. I've ...
  A: You cannot mention gifts on an invitation - ever - unless it's "best wishes only". So tacky would be ...
Who pays for the wedding when the bride's parents are divorced9/22/2008
  Q: My step-daughter just got engaged and is just starting to plan her wedding. Her father and I have ...
  A: The finances are one of the first, if not the first, things that need to be addressed. Your ...
Wedding Thank You's9/21/2008
  Q: We requested that instead of a gift a donation to our Temple would be appreciated. Do we need to ...
  A: Customarily the Temple would forward you a list of donors. You would write to each one, just as you ...
Etiquette question9/15/2008
  Q: I recently entered a bank and the gentleman walking towards the bank in front of me stopped and ...
  A: No is the answer. Being polite and courteous makes both parties feel good. He wanted you to go ahead ...
looking and hello9/14/2008
  Q: (Hi, I'm 22. last week we went to a family party. After we arrived my cousin and my aunt arrived and ...
  A: Your English, by the way, is very understandable. People should look at one another when speaking. ...
Memorial service9/13/2008
  Q: My brother passed away last month and was creamated. We had a small church service, and than a ...
  A: In short, there is no correct way to do this. If you extend an invitation you are obliged to pay the ...
regarding social etiquette9/12/2008
  Q: My husband is on a business trip to edinburgh and i have accompanied him. His boss has invited us ...
  A: An appropriate hostess gift would be a box of chocolates. Try to find a shop where they make ...
Hairdresser ediquite9/9/2008
  Q: My hairdersser was just married. Is a just card appropriate, or should a gift be given. And what ...
  A: The choice is yours on this one. You are not obliged to give a gift. A card would be appreciated, ...
Addressing letters9/9/2008
  Q: How do you address a letter or invitation to Mr. and Mrs. Doctors? Dr. and Dr? Dr. and Drs? Dr. ...
  A: If they share the same last name, you can address the invitation to The Doctors Doe or to Dr. John ...
Informal use of First Names? Which name is listed first?9/7/2008
  Q: Jill and John Smith or John and Jill Smith I have always thought that the rule was never ...
  A: I know of no such rule. The man's name, in our male dominated society, precedes the woman's name. So ...
envelope addressing9/5/2008
  Q: I am addressing envelopes to a husband and wife who are both practicing physicians. How do I ...
  A: If they both use the same last name. you can address the envelope to The Doctors Doe or Dr. John Doe ...
Death of a beloved pet9/4/2008
  Q: I have a co worker that is planning to put down his beloved pet dog this Saturday. I want to send ...
  A: Having owned many dogs over the years, I can relate to this situation. What we do when friends must ...
College Graduation9/4/2008
  Q: I am gong to be graduating from college this December, and I am not sure about proper college ...
  A: And, congratulations! Whoever told you that you can do whatever you want is grossly misinformed. ...
Gift Giving to your Guests9/3/2008
  Q: I'm planning my 40th birthday party and I wanted to know if it is customary for the honoree to give ...
  A: It is not necessarily customary for the birthday girl to give gifts to her guests, however it is ...
Sympathy card w/money9/3/2008
  Q: My boss gave me a sympathy card with money in it to use as needed. What is the proper "thank you ...
  A: A sincere hand written note expressing your gratitude for your boss acknowledging your loss and time ...
wedding etiquette9/2/2008
  Q: I'm going to a Black Tie Optional wedding next week, early September in the midwest where it's still ...
  A: In this day and age, unless you're meeting the Queen, hose is not required. Furthermore, it would be ...
Family visits8/30/2008
  Q: When we visit my brother -in law for several days they don't change the bedding or have soap to bath ...
  A: I can understand your confusion. Different people run their households differently. Personally, when ...
Loss of unborn child8/29/2008
  Q: I would like to express my sympathy to a close friend who just lost her unborn child, what would be ...
  A: This is a time of intense grief for your friend (and her husband if he is present). Be sincere when ...
Doing the right thing8/27/2008
  Q: An adult guest visits our home sits in a childs chair which breaks as a result of his weight, should ...
  A: The correct thing to do is for the person breaking anything to offer to pay for repairs or ...
Etiquette question8/27/2008
  Q: My boyfriend and I just got in a fight about this issue so I wanted to get a second opinion. On my ...
  A: I must side totally with your boyfriend on this issue and I will explain exactly why. The evening ...
Proper greetings.8/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper way to greet someone? I have heard people say "Nice to see you" as well as "Nice ...
  A: The proper way to greet someone is to say "How do you do, Ms. Smith. My name is John Doe". Nice to ...
wedding invite8/24/2008
  Q: My husband's sister is getting married. The invite was addressed to Mr & Mrs Joe Smith, Mr Bobby ...
  A: There is no doubt that this is an awkward situation. However, what you are suggesting will make ...
Fathers Day Lunch8/24/2008
  Q: My daughter visited her father and stepmother (they have been married 9 years)for Father's Day ...
  A: I understand your point of view. And were there a number of people going to the lunch I would agree. ...
Proper Etiquette8/24/2008
  Q: I am an 18 year old planning a trip to South Africa this November. I will be staying with a local, ...
  A: South Africa is a beautiful country with two completely different cultural backgrounds. The fact ...
Farewell Dinner Party8/22/2008
  Q: I am a bit confused about proper etiquette regarding the following situation. A friend (of 12 ...
  A: This situation does not call for either party to hold a dinner party. Both you and your friend could ...
invitees8/21/2008
  Q: We followed invitation addressing protocol. Yet, my cousin emails me that her son & daughter in law ...
  A: I would answer the e-mail by saying you are sorry her son and daughter in law are unable to come. ...
Family Bridal Shower8/19/2008
  Q: Is it proper for the bride and her mother and/or grandmother to assist in planning the family bridal ...
  A: Today, many bridal showers are hosted by the maid of honor, but not all. It is certainly acceptable ...
Social etiquette8/16/2008
  Q: My son recently got married. His bride did not take is last name. She uses her maiden name.If I ...
  A: You are correct in the first instance: Jon Doe and Mary Smith. Envelopes are addressed Mr. Jon Doe ...
opening birthday gifts8/15/2008
  Q: I'm hosting a party for my daughter's 50th birthday. There will be approximately 40 guests. ...
  A: There is no 'proper' in this case. I think it's always exciting to see the gifts and to see the ...
Relatives that stay too long8/15/2008
  Q: My inlaws come to town twice a year and always stay for 2 weeks. I feel that it is a long time to ...
  A: I assume you are asking this question because they are staying in your house as opposed to a local ...
Bridal showers8/10/2008
  Q: A couple I know is getting married. There are to be (3) bridal showers. One for family, one for ...
  A: You are old fashioned for which I applaud you. Sadly people today try to come up with brilliant ...
60th/70th Birthday Party Present8/6/2008
  Q: I'm hosting a bday party for my mom and dad who will be turning 60 and 70 respectively. My siblings ...
  A: I apologize for not having answered it yesterday. I think your idea is a brilliant one! This should ...
gift8/5/2008
  Q: We have had a business relationship with a company for years. They have been bought out by a couple ...
  A: There is no gift required in this situation. However, if you would like to extend a warm welcome to ...
invitation wording8/5/2008
  Q: I am the wife of an Air Force Command Chief and we are expecting the arrival of our new Wing ...
  A: As this casual party is going to be at your house, you have complete control of the guest list. It ...
Sympathy card8/4/2008
  Q: Is it proper to pass around a sympathy card for signature in a department (about 25 people) for the ...
  A: For a sympathy card, I think it best that everyone express their own feelings. The feelings one is ...
notes on hostess gifts7/30/2008
  Q: What is the proper etiquette regarding hostess gifts. Are you supposed to put a note on it so the ...
  A: It is always a good idea to attach a note of some kind to any gift you give. Imagine the confusion ...
Greetings7/30/2008
  Q: Jay! I own a coffee shop and am now asking my employees to use my name when they say "Hi" to me, my ...
  A: You are absolutely correct! Not only is it good manners; it is a job requirement now. You own your ...
sympathy card when 1 partner loses parent7/29/2008
  Q: My cousin's partner (they live together, own house together, are not kids--in 60's)just lost his ...
  A: What a sad time for both of them. However, mothers are mothers and in this case a card written to ...
Sitting on stage7/29/2008
  Q: Jay, To clarify my previous question; when I sit on the platform at church, I generally cross my ...
  A: There is no rule of etiquette addressing this particular matter. I think church platforms are ...
THANK YOU CARD7/26/2008
  Q: I SENT A H.S. GRADUATION CARD WITH A CHECK FOR A $100 TO MY FRIEND'S SON IN JUNE. THE CHECK WAS ...
  A: You should have received a thank-you note within a few days of giving the very generous gift. The ...
Table manners7/25/2008
  Q: When you are through eating, are the tines up or down? When you are resting during a meal, are ...
  A: In dining, there are two recognized styles of Western dining. They are American and Continental. In ...
Foreign Language7/25/2008
  Q: Two questions. Is it proper to engage in an entire (or partial)conversation in a foreign language ...
  A: Foreign language conversations in someone's house who doesn't speak the language are rude unless one ...
receiving wedding invitation7/23/2008
  Q: I recently received a wedding invitation addressed to me on the envelope. Inside the invitation was ...
  A: Generic RSVP cards can be problematic and in your case misleading. In fact, if the invitation is ...
restaurant manners7/22/2008
  Q: I am contacting you regarding two manner question.It is:What should I do with my tie during dinner ...
  A: You should do nothing with your tie. I advise keeping your suit jacket buttoned to prevent the tie ...
Engagement Gift7/18/2008
  Q: What is the going price for a high class engagement party. It is an engagement party with over 200 ...
  A: Frankly this is an odd question. Hosting parties and the budgets that go with them are very ...
Mr. Doe III? or John III?7/16/2008
  Q: For a full name of John Doe, III. 1. How should I be addressed or introduced formally? As “Mr. ...
  A: I have a suffix, so I know what you're dealing with. In answer toy our first question, formally you ...
Birthday wording etiquette7/15/2008
  Q: My niece just sent my sister a e greeting for her 60th birthday which reads "may you have good ...
  A: I agree with both you and your sister. What an inappropriate way to phrase 'best wishes'. Your niece ...
protolcol for wedding invites7/9/2008
  Q: we are getting marriage next year and am perplexed at the correct order of names on the invites is ...
  A: For wedding invitations, Mr. precedes Mrs. or Ms. - always. I know there will be a lot of questions ...
check cashing7/7/2008
  Q: What is the appropriate span of time that you should wait to cash a personal check? i know someone ...
  A: Fortunately there are banking regulations in place which protect everyone. Usually there is a 3 to 6 ...
Bringing food to a potluck7/6/2008
  Q: My wife and I are invited to a poolside potluck dinner on a summer's hot day, held by a couple we ...
  A: You are quite right about the host calling the shots for the menu. I have to say that for an ...
Dessert6/29/2008
  Q: I was recently at my boyfriend's friends' house for dinner. I brought a dessert (lemon meringue ...
  A: The bottom line is that the hostess acted correctly and you made the mistake. Having said that, what ...
In laws not greeting when they come to my house6/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper etiquette for greeting for a family to follow if they go to other familys homes? ...
  A: Some people are naturally shy. Proper etiquette calls for people to introduce themselves to everyone ...
wedding shower6/27/2008
  Q: I wanted to have a church wedding shower for a friend in my home and only ask those in the church ...
  A: You were absolutely correct. It was your party. You control the guest list. Even if you asked for ...
wedding shower gifts6/26/2008
  Q: I am invited to a wedding shower for my son and his fiance that is being hosted by her aunt and ...
  A: Everyone invited to a shower is expected to bring a gift. Being family, you should know what the ...
College Graduation Announcements6/25/2008
  Q: Mr. Jay Remer, Our son completed his Final Defense in May and will go through the formal university ...
  A: Congratulations on your son's great accomplishment. It is absolutely appropriate to include the ...
job transfer6/25/2008
  Q: I am applying for a position within my same company. Is it ok if I call the supervisor who will be ...
  A: I would advise against calling the supervisor. First of all, what would the purpose of the call be? ...
Adoption Ceremony Dinner6/23/2008
  Q: Invited to dinner following adoption ceremony of niece's child. Just attended and gifted at ...
  A: I think you've done your bit as far as gifts go. I have a friend who adopted a child and the number ...
gift-giving protocol6/22/2008
  Q: For many months, my husband has been in physical therapy rehab. He is about to be discharged, and ...
  A: Heart-felt notes, hand written, are always very much appreciated. Obviously these people have made a ...
wedding invitation6/20/2008
  Q: Nearly 3 months have passed since I split from a business partnership and I just received an ...
  A: I would not read too much into this invitation. You may never know what the intent behind sending it ...
Graduation Gifts6/20/2008
  Q: My son is graduating high school and is invited to over 10 graduation parties. Should he bring a ...
  A: I do not think it is necessary or even advisable for high school students to give gifts to their ...
phrases6/19/2008
  Q: where did the term "bar hopping" come from?
  A: The term has its roots in the 19th century, beginning with the beer crawl. It is really a ...
Late Graduation Announcements6/19/2008
  Q: I am a few weeks late sending out my high school graduations and I was wondering if it is all right ...
  A: It is absolutely fine to include both logos on your announcement. Carefully word the text and make ...
introduction6/19/2008
  Q: kindly give an example of how to introduce a lower staff member to the MD
  A: You always state the name of the person of higher rank first. So in this case, you would say, "Dr. ...
Debut Party6/18/2008
  Q: My 20 year old son has been invited to a friend's debut pre-party at an old money, very prestigious ...
  A: I have been to a lot of debutante parties, but never to a pre-party. This sounds a bit ...
wedding seating6/17/2008
  Q: Where do I sit my daughter's future mother-in-law at my son's wedding? Thanks.
  A: I don't know how the tables are being arranged or who the guests are, but I am going to assume that ...
Entering and getting seated in a restaurant in the company of a lady6/17/2008
  Q: Upon entering a restaurant what is the proper procedure for checking in at the reception desk or ...
  A: The question is multifaceted, so I am going to address those specific questions you mentioned and ...
stepson's graduation party6/16/2008
  Q: My husband and I have been married for over 5 years my daughter finished high school last year and I ...
  A: Who's in charge here? There are no rules as to whose extended family is or isn't invited. It's up to ...
party etiquette6/14/2008
  Q: I have a family member who is having a graduation party for her daughter. They have invited over 100 ...
  A: I quite agree with you in this particular case, as the invitations have already ben sent. Normally ...
High School Graduation6/14/2008
  Q: My grandson who lives out of state sent a high school graduation invitation to my sister and her ...
  A: Your answer to her question was absolutely correct. Her response was rude and disrespectful. She ...
retirement party6/13/2008
  Q: My children are giving a retirement party for me. Should I be getting them a gift as a thank you? ...
  A: Strictly speaking you do not need to buy them a gift, bit I think it would be appropriate. I love ...
returning son's birthday gift6/12/2008
  Q: my son just turned 3 and received a gift from my husband's brother and his wife brought to the party ...
  A: I figured there would be a follow up. This a complex issue. Of course you would have appreciated the ...
Dating a Recent Widower6/11/2008
  Q: A man who I used to be in love with lost his wife the end of March. I sent a sympathy card and he ...
  A: There really are no hard and fast rules for this. I think after you have finished mourning the loss ...
anniversaries6/9/2008
  Q: O.K. here's the outline. If my neice and her husband are having a wedding anniversary (not a party ...
  A: Clearer, yes. There is never an inappropriate time to acknowledge such occasions. It's sort of like ...
Fiance Master Degree Graduation Gift6/9/2008
  Q: My Fiance is 45 and graduating from the Industrial College of the Armed Forces (ICAF), War College ...
  A: It looks like the ball is in your court. Your fiance gave you an answer but left the door open. I ...
Graduation announcements6/9/2008
  Q: My son received his undergraduate degree with honors three weeks ago. (just received his final ...
  A: Congratulations to your son. That is truly a great accomplishment. It is not too late to send out ...
business telephone manners6/7/2008
  Q: I recently called a hair salon in my town to make an appointment to use a gift card. After a few ...
  A: You are absolutely correct on two counts. One, the receptionist was rude, bordering on ...
introducing an unmarried couple6/6/2008
  Q: My Mom falls over introductions when she introduces me (female daughter 60 unmarried) and my life ...
  A: First, let me congratulate you for picking a life partner during the prime of your life! There is no ...
Graduation gifts6/6/2008
  Q: Our son is graduating from high school. Our family has flown in from all over the country for this ...
  A: In this case, there are no 'shoulds'. It's a kind of case by case scenario. Some people may want to ...
full dress on cruises6/5/2008
  Q: At one time in our history, wearing full dress or white tie and tails on a cruise was expected. Now ...
  A: Dress codes certainly have relaxed over the last couple of decades. There are no doubt a variety of ...
Graduation Gift Etiquette6/3/2008
  Q: What would be the proper gift etiquette when you're invited to your boss's sons graduation open ...
  A: From an etiquette viewpoint, it really doesn't matter who the invitation is for or from. The same ...
Graduation6/3/2008
  Q: Hope you can help me. I can't decide to have some type of get together for my daughter's graduation ...
  A: You do wait til the last minute, don't you? There is no dilemma here. You want to throw a party. You ...
Medical school announcement6/3/2008
  Q: My cousin's wife just graduated from medical school and will start a pediatric residency. She just ...
  A: Graduating from medical school in your late 40's is a whole lot different than graduating from high ...
gift giving6/2/2008
  Q: The daughter of my husband's business partner is getting married. We are not invited to the ...
  A: As I have said before, there is rarely an inappropriate time to give a gift. It is really up to you. ...
How to construct a message regarding monetary gift for wedding.6/2/2008
  Q: My fiancé and I were getting married this 08-08-08 here in the Philippines. And we are having a hard ...
  A: I completely understand your situation; however gifts are not mentioned on an invitation at all - ...
Help?6/1/2008
  Q: My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, never married, no ...
  A: There is no recorded protocol or etiquette for this situation, so what we use is common sense. After ...
Graduation Invitation6/1/2008
  Q: My husband and I received a graduation invitation from the grandaughter of a friend that we are no ...
  A: Your husband is right in my view for two reasons. First of all, the invitation should have been sent ...
Grad Parties5/31/2008
  Q: What is the gift-giving etiquette for graduation parties? Who would and who wouldn't bring a gift? ...
  A: Giving gifts at graduations is much like giving gifts at other occasions. It is totally at the ...
How do I not invite someone to a party5/29/2008
  Q: I have a rather delicate situation. I'm having a party and wish to invite my husband's ...
  A: Great question!! You do not have to feel obligated to invite her at all. It's your party and you ...
Wedding etiquette5/28/2008
  Q: A close friend is getting married on the same day as my brother. Even though she knows I will not be ...
  A: You send your note of regret to the parents, as they were the ones who issued the invitation and are ...
Political Emails and Responses5/28/2008
  Q: I have another one for you. My brother has not been returning my calls and emails for about a week ...
  A: Here is my take on the situation. If you really enjoy having e-mail conversations with your brother, ...
Boss wedding5/28/2008
  Q: My boss is getting married and having destination wedding. Nonoe from the office is invited. Do I ...
  A: In my opinion, if you were not invited, a gift from you is not necessary; however, it would perhaps ...
invitation5/28/2008
  Q: A long time girlfriend and I had decided to have a girls' poker nite since we don't see each other ...
  A: To be honest with you, the hostess generally controls the guest list. However, since you both ...
Getting Thank yous5/28/2008
  Q: We always send gifts (sometimes money) for Xmas, Birthdays etc. to My niece, age 2l, living 4 hours ...
  A: Her mother needs to tell her in no uncertain terms that thank-you notes are absolutely necessary. At ...
invitations5/27/2008
  Q: When do you use an 'at home' invitation? And how much information do you write on it? Can I use it ...
  A: I believe what you are referring to is an 'at home' card. Such cards contain the name and address of ...
Correcting people5/25/2008
  Q: Is it bad manners to correct an older person or someone in a higher position if he/she has made a ...
  A: I am on your side here. Just because someone is older, doesn't mean they're always correct. You can ...
Graduation Gift Giving5/24/2008
  Q: I am a high school chemistry teacher in my third year of teaching at a boarding school. Students ...
  A: Sorry to take so long in answering this question, but was called out of town suddenly. Thanks for ...
manners5/24/2008
  Q: If I enter an office or a room is it impolite to say "Good morning" (e.g.)? I was brought up to do ...
  A: You were brought up correctly. Saying good morning is the polite thing to do when entering the ...
Etiquette5/23/2008
  Q: I was out at lunch with a friend and another woman who lives very close by but whom I don't want to ...
  A: My goodness, you have a real knack for attracting odd people. Again, you lead yourself right into ...
Etiquette5/23/2008
  Q: Recently someone who I believe should have known better asked me out but asked could he come over ...
  A: It's hard really to know where to start with this one, perhaps with accepting the invitation to ...
Protocal5/23/2008
  Q: What is the protocol for sending out High School Senior announcements - two weeks prior, a month?? ...
  A: Announcements go out two weeks after the ceremony. Invitations go out two weeks prior. It is ...
sympathy cards5/22/2008
  Q: What family members should be included in cards of sympathy? My mother recently passed away and ...
  A: However unfair this may seem, there are those who feel there is a formality of writing sympathy ...
Monetary Wedding Gift5/21/2008
  Q: The President of our company's daughter is getting married. I have been invited to the wedding ...
  A: This is not a contest. Gifts are given according to the relationship the person has with the ...
Childrens Birthday parties5/11/2008
  Q: Against my better judgement I took my 3 year old to a birthday party for a 5 year old friend of the ...
  A: My sincerest apologies. I had answered this question before I went on vacation but the answer ...
Bar Mitzvah RSVP Etiquette5/9/2008
  Q: How do I respond when and ivitation is addressed to "Mr. & Mrs.John Doe" and the response card comes ...
  A: How rude can some people be! I'm afraid you'll have to phone them and explain that due to space and ...
adoption5/8/2008
  Q: We are adopting our toddler grandson & want to give a thank you gift to the worker who has been ...
  A: Any time you are giving a gift, your financial circumstances must always be considered. What's ...
Graduation Invitations5/8/2008
  Q: Please tell me how do I address an invitation to a couple that are not married and their children? ...
  A: To address an unmarried couple and their children, the order is Mr. (full name) and Ms.(full name) ...
Graduation Ceremony Etiquette5/7/2008
  Q: My husband is graduationg from Graduate School. When I graduated, I received a bouquet of flowers. ...
  A: I am a traditionalist. I advise that you give a monogrammed sterling silver pen and pencil set, gold ...
Return Address Labels for Graduation Announcements5/6/2008
  Q: Is it proper to use a return address label for a graduation announcement or should the return ...
  A: If you are hand writing the envelope it would be proper to hand write all of it, as opposed to just ...
introduction5/6/2008
  Q: What if your partner has invited people she know over to your house for a get together. Should the ...
  A: It would be correct protocol for the person who has invited the guests to make the introductions. If ...
college graduation gifts5/6/2008
  Q: My boyfriend's daughter is graduating from college - what would be an appropriate gift from me? We ...
  A: As I have answered in the past, the gift you decide to give depends on your financial situation and ...
Proper title for Mayor letter5/6/2008
  Q: Hello - I have to send a letter to a mayor of a city - what is the proper way to address him in the ...
  A: I am going to assume that you are in the US. It would be 'Dear Mr. Mayor' or 'Dear Madam Mayor'. On ...
funeral thank you notes from wife5/5/2008
  Q: Who should receive a thank you note? Flower senders? Funeral service guests? Sympathy cards? ...
  A: Everyone loves a hand written thank-you card. However, it can be overwhelming, especially during a ...
Colleague's Good Morning Gesture5/5/2008
  Q: Every single morning - *every single morning* - a colleague of mine comes into my office and says ...
  A: I doubt Emily Post has any tips on such a matter, but I will give it my best shot. I can picture ...
graduation announcements5/4/2008
  Q: What is the correct way to enclose the enter envelope on graduation announcements? Do we just leave ...
  A: To be honest with you, I am not sure what you are referring to. However, I am going to guess that ...
returning of phone calls5/4/2008
  Q: I find it hurtful when people don't return phone calls in a reasonable time frame. I've had one ...
  A: Proper etiquette calls for phone calls to be returned within 48 hours. However, the way this is ...
SIgning Cadrds5/4/2008
  Q: My wife's Grandchildren, (I am her second husband) on their birthdays, she signs the cards, Grandpaw ...
  A: I understand your point of view. But in this case, your wife's "traditional" approach is probably ...
panty hose color for mother of the groom5/4/2008
  Q: I am wearing a black skirt and White dressy top for the wedding( the bridesmaid colors are black and ...
  A: Although this is not an etiquette question, I always have an opinion on stylish dressing. In my ...
House warming gifts5/3/2008
  Q: Family member recently moved into their 2nd home. We are going there for a birthday party. Do you ...
  A: It is up to you to decide. If you want to bring a birthday gift or a house warming gift, it is your ...
graduation party for 3 friends5/3/2008
  Q: We are hosting a H.S. Grad party for three seniors that grew up together on the same street. Some ...
  A: You do not worry about getting such a message across. Strictly speaking no one is obligated to bring ...
Addressing Graduation Invitations5/3/2008
  Q: Is it improper to address the outer envelope for graduation invitations using a computer ( my son's ...
  A: It is always nice to hand write invitation envelopes. Why not let him stuff them and you address ...
family manners5/2/2008
  Q: My partner says that when I come home from being at work all day that I shouldn't say "Hi how are ...
  A: WOW! Thanks for asking this amazing question. This is going to be the subject of my next column. ...
DIVORCE OF SIBLING AND INVITATONS5/2/2008
  Q: HERE'S THE SITUATION, MY HUSBANDS BROTHER AND HIS WIFE OF 30 YRS ARE DIVORCING. IT IS NOT A MUTUAL ...
  A: This is really case of human dynamics. If there is real bitterness going on in this divorce, this ...
Graduation Dinner5/2/2008
  Q: Our daughter is graduating from college in another state. We are all flying in for the graduation. ...
  A: Strict etiquette calls for the host to pay for the dinner. In this situation, I suggest that your ...
Plastic or real plates5/1/2008
  Q: My son got married and had a formal reception, the bride is from another state. We are now hosting ...
  A: It's really up to you. Having said that I would lean towards paper and plastic rather than going to ...
GRADUATION ETIQUETTE5/1/2008
  Q: A FRIEND OF MINE WAS INVITED TO HER NEPHEW'S GRADUATION CEREMONY WHERE THERE IS A $5 CHARGE FOR EACH ...
  A: It is generally up to the family who has obtained the tickets for a graduation ceremony to ...
apparel4/30/2008
  Q: A recent wedding invitation states the following. 50s theme black and white apparel What ...
  A: What this means is that you and your wife should wear black and white clothes that would have been ...
Accepting money from friends4/30/2008
  Q: I am currently going through a divorce and have 3 young children. My 8 girlfriends all pitched in ...
  A: First of all, tell your mother for me that she gives good advice! You are indeed blessed to have ...
High School Graduation Tea4/30/2008
  Q: Some of my friends are giving my daughter a graduation tea. As her mother, do I bring a present to ...
  A: Please remember that gifts should be neither expected nor required at any function. They are at the ...
College Graduation Announcement/Invitation4/30/2008
  Q: We recently received (3-1/2 weeks before the graduation ceremony) what I would term an invitation to ...
  A: You have landed yourself in a situation of bad planning on the part of your friend. I doubt there ...
re college graduation4/29/2008
  Q: My daughter who is graduating first in the family from college on May 10 from out of state, then ...
  A: First of all, congratulations to your daughter for this tremendous accomplishment. I am so glad you ...
Who to Invite to Graduation Open House4/29/2008
  Q: Where do you draw the line with inviting your co-workers to your child's graduation open house when ...
  A: You can invite as many people as you want to the open house. Remember the guiding principle. There ...
Neighbor's kids invite themselves over4/29/2008
  Q: I have some very nice neighbors, with some fairly 'pushy' children. We have a privacy fence, ...
  A: This an all too common problem. As I see it, you have two choices. Either speak with their mothers ...
Thank you notes4/28/2008
  Q: I had a baby shower recently and had about 30 guests. Many people brought gifts, but some did not. ...
  A: There's really nothing to debate here. How can you send a thank-you note for something you haven't ...
graduation announcements4/28/2008
  Q: My daughter is graduating from high school. should she send announcements with pictures to her ...
  A: You have put a new twist to a question I have answered before by throwing in the picture. I still ...
Which side to walk4/28/2008
  Q: At a recent high school prom, I noticed that the young men entered the stage for the Grand March ...
  A: You are correct half of the time. When walking on the street, the man always walks on the street ...
Party Invitations4/28/2008
  Q: When inviting a single person to a party at which most invitees will be couples, must you tell ...
  A: If you want your single guest to be able to bring a date, the add'and Guest' onto the invitation. ...
Monetary Thank you4/28/2008
  Q: I recently spent a week's vacation with my brother and family in Australia. There was three in our ...
  A: You did nothing wrong. Your brother would be wise to accept the give graciously and say 'thank-you'. ...
Extended family member of divorce4/28/2008
  Q: I have been divorced for over 4 years and have 2 daughters 18 & 21. My daughters and I do not like ...
  A: I can see why this is causing you and your daughters a lot of stress. Family dynamics can be quite ...
JOINT GRADUATION PARTY4/28/2008
  Q: A FRIEND'S SON IS HAVING A JOINT GRADUATION PARTY WITH HIS COUSIN. SHOULD WE BRING 1 OR 2 GIFTS?
  A: Giving gifts is completely at the discretion of the giver. Having said that, if you are planning to ...
High School Announcements4/28/2008
  Q: I was wondering if it is appropriate for my son to send announcements to his school friends(who are ...
  A: The answer is no. It is not necessary to send announcements to classmates. Announcements are usually ...
monster in law4/27/2008
  Q: Is their any ettiquete in ettiquete land on sending the grooms parents an invitation to the wedding? ...
  A: You definitely should receive an invitation. Perhaps all along she was planning for your son to hand ...
graduation announcement4/27/2008
  Q: I am graduating from university and am sending out my announcements. I am also very excited about ...
  A: The answer is yes. The wording could go something like this and you can design the announcement ...
Graduation cards vs. gifts4/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper ediquette for a college graduate gift? I always send high school graduates ...
  A: It all depends on your relationship with the graduate. Money is always appropriate as a gift as the ...
Ref: question4/27/2008
  Q: Good day, Lets say you are just starting out in business and trying to network with high profile men ...
  A: You are on the right track by being genuine. You will find that all people, men or women, rich or ...
dress for Celebration of Life4/26/2008
  Q: My daughters best freind (7 years old) passed away from Cancer this week. What do you wear to a ...
  A: It is so sad when a young child passes away. Your daughter must be devastated. My deepest ...
daughter's chiristening4/26/2008
  Q: we have been planning my daughter's christening since february. We have a lot of family members some ...
  A: There are two issues here. One is the desire to have a family photo and the other is the RSVP issue. ...
cash gifts to college graduates4/25/2008
  Q: I have two nephews graduating college in early May. I will not be attending either ceremony. I want ...
  A: Cash gifts are dependant on your financial situation. College graduations are more significant than ...
graduation gift4/24/2008
  Q: My nephew has graduated from 4 yrs of university and his parents are throwing him a big party, Do I ...
  A: The answer is that it really is up to you. There is never any obligation to give someone a gift. A ...
Gift giving4/24/2008
  Q: I have two nephews (both out of state) that are graduating from college. They are both going on the ...
  A: And congratulations to your two nephews. This marks an important milestone in their lives. ...
RE: Mother invited my aunt.4/24/2008
  Q: I invited my Mom and Dad to come to Hong Kong on a holiday and they will be staying at my home for 5 ...
  A: You are absolutely right as far as your mother should have consulted you. She did not show you ...
graduation party4/23/2008
  Q: I am having a high school graduation party for my son at a local restaurant. I am paying the bill. ...
  A: The wording would go something like this. Mrs. Jane Doe cordially invites you attend a dinner in ...
Announcement vs invitation...4/22/2008
  Q: In the past I have had AN ANNOUNCEMNT of a party to be planned, because they needed input as to the ...
  A: What you are referring to is a "Save the Date Card". For this occasion, three to four weeks notice ...
50th Anniversary4/21/2008
  Q: My friend is celebrating her 50th Anniversary and will wear a long dress to a 2 p.m. reception. She ...
  A: It is improper to wear a long dress at 2 p.m. However, in this day and age, people do odd things. In ...
Sister in-law wants gift that was given back4/21/2008
  Q: I don't know what to do. My parents-in-law gave me a ring shortly after our wedding (though not a ...
  A: You have been put in the middle of a very difficult situation. Strictly speaking, your in-laws made ...
Break up question4/21/2008
  Q: What do I do with jewelry from my ex-boyfriend of 9 month's during dating? Do I give it back or keep ...
  A: Gifts given come with no strings. You are entitled to keep the jewelry and either wear it, sell it, ...
high school graduation invitation4/21/2008
  Q: should you send invitations to members of the same graduating class (ex sons friends)
  A: The answer is no. They are already going to be at the graduation, so that would be completely ...
Birthday Gifts4/21/2008
  Q: We are having a 1st birthday party for our triplets. Due to the crazy amount of toys and clothes ...
  A: Strictly speaking it is poor form to mention anything about gifts on any invitation unless it's ...
master's degree announcements?4/21/2008
  Q: I did not send out announcements for my bachelor's degree because my mother thought it was tacky. ...
  A: There is absolutely no reason not to send out an announcement for this great accomplishment. I ...
graduation4/20/2008
  Q: Does the female buy the boutineer for her date to grad. Thanks Kayt
  A: In a word, 'NO'. Even in this world today, where feminism has a stronghold, this is a place where ...
Announcement Sending Time4/18/2008
  Q: Jay: I've researched and found that it is proper timing to send out college graduation ...
  A: I will answer the second question first. I still stand by tradition. The parents send out the ...
Bosses Wedding4/18/2008
  Q: My boss is getting married. I'm acquainted with both him and his fiance'(we've had a few double ...
  A: Whether or not you were invited to the wedding has no bearing on your decision to give a wedding ...
Graduation Announcement - Who is the sender?4/18/2008
  Q: The inside envelope on the college graduation envelope should be addressed to the person as if you ...
  A: Bottom line answer is it's up to you. Traditionally, however, the parents are the senders of the ...
entertaining/serving platters4/16/2008
  Q: I have a very pretty silver plate serving platter I received as a wedding gift. I am hosting ...
  A: In brief, food may go directly onto the silver plated platter. The only foods that really react with ...
invitation address4/15/2008
  Q: Our country club that technically my husband is a member of - but it is a family club - addresses ...
  A: The country club send mailings to its members. Your husband is the member, so that is why they send ...
Wedding gifts - US to Canada4/15/2008
  Q: Jay, My American son is getting married this fall to a wonderful Canadian woman and they will live ...
  A: I live in Canada myself and am a US citizen so I completely understand the situation. First of all, ...
Return address labels for grad. whn childs name is different4/14/2008
  Q: My daughter is graduating from High School we are working on her graduation announcements and I'm ...
  A: First of all, let me congratulate your daughter for graduating from high school. This would be a ...
Wedding Shower...4/13/2008
  Q: I'm a brides maid in my friends upcoming wedding, do I still by her a shower gift? Thank you Jay for ...
  A: In a word, yes. You are, of course, never obliged to buy a shower gift, but being a bridesmaid ...
Apologies4/12/2008
  Q: I did something to upset my friend, who is my neighbor and co-worker, while she and her family were ...
  A: This one is another one asked of me which falls outside of the strict etiquette or protocol realm. ...
Daughters graduation4/12/2008
  Q: My 30 year old daughter, who has returned to school after having a child, is graduating with her BA. ...
  A: First of all, let me congratulate your daughter for a real accomplishment. And give yourselves a pat ...
wedding attendance4/12/2008
  Q: My daughter is one of the bridesmaids at my nephew's wedding. We, her parents, however, have not ...
  A: Technically speaking, without an invitation, you should not go to the wedding. It occurs to me that ...
Graduation Announcements4/12/2008
  Q: My daughter will be graduating from college soon. What is the correct way to write the announcement ...
  A: The way to do this is as follows. Ms. Jane Doe, daughter of Mrs. Cathy Smith and the late Mr. John ...
Bringing an uninvited dog to your host's home4/11/2008
  Q: My Mother-In-Law insists on bringing her dog to my 1200sf apartment when she stays overnight. This, ...
  A: Let me say that this falls outside of strict etiquette, however, I am happy to share my thoughts ...
How to address a sympathy card4/11/2008
  Q: A neighbor's husband passed way, do I address the card to her and family or "the family of . . . . . ...
  A: You address the card to Mrs. John Doe and family. Addressing it to the family of the deceased would ...
house warming party4/11/2008
  Q: i would like to give my daughter and son-inlaw a house warming party. They have just bought a house ...
  A: The simple answer to this is that yes, by all means have a party for them at your home. But, an ...
Shower/Wedding Gifts4/10/2008
  Q: I recently attended by nephew's fiancee's bridal shower and shortly thereafter, their wedding. I ...
  A: You and your sisters are dead on right. It is absolutely not acceptable to send canned thank-you ...
college graduation invitation vs announcment4/10/2008
  Q: Daughter's college graduation in NH coming up soon. It's out-of-state and scheduled outside no ...
  A: By the way, we're practically neighbors. I live in St. Andrews, NB, Canada. At any rate, this is ...
6pm weddings in the South4/10/2008
  Q: Is a 6 pm wedding in the South (NC) considered to be "black tie" if the invitation does not specify?
  A: The answer to your question, in a word, is no. Unless the style of dress is indicated clearly on the ...
how do I approch a coworker about bad habits4/9/2008
  Q: My question is, how do you approach someone that shares office equipment and kitchen area that ...
  A: The answer to your question is very straight forward. And as long as your intention is not to ...
Early Graduation from High School4/8/2008
  Q: This is a topic I did not encounter with my other children. My daughter cane home and informed us ...
  A: I can relate to this because the same thing happened to me in college. I was finished my studies a ...
privacy fence4/8/2008
  Q: If there is a shared privacy fence, should I remove the old fence before putting up the new? The ...
  A: Although this falls outside the guidelines of real etiquette, I feel compelled to answer you because ...
wedding shower gifts4/7/2008
  Q: Recently sent a shower gift to couple who will marry in June. The thank you note said the groom is ...
  A: To clarify, you stated that you sent a 'shower gift'. That is not the same as a wedding gift. So ...
addressing wedding invitations4/7/2008
  Q: I have all my wedding invitations sealed stamped and ready to go. I desired and printed them myself. ...
  A: Already stamped, Yikes! We need to move quickly on this one. Absolutely, you must put 'and Guest' on ...
50th wedding Anniversary4/7/2008
  Q: Is it etiquette to ask for donation of____ per person on your 50th wedding anniversary invitation or ...
  A: Simply stated, this is in very poor taste. The rule of thumb is this: if you are going to host a ...
Rsvp to Bar Mitzvah4/7/2008
  Q: My daughter received her first invite to a Bar Mitzvah. On the RSVP card, it reads, "We look forward ...
  A: There are many different variations on RSVP cards. The most important point is to make sure to ...
college graduaton announcements4/6/2008
  Q: Technically, who sends out the announcements the student or the parents?
  A: I have just completed an column on the matter of graduation invitations and announcements, but ...
What should a Boss Say or Not4/5/2008
  Q: I think I know the answer to this but I asked my boss how he was doing since he recently had been ...
  A: , Thanks for asking this question. It opens up an interesting topic, one which I shall use in one of ...
JOB ETIQUETTE4/4/2008
  Q: I AM A TEACHER. I AM ON A 4 MAN/WOMAN TEAM. EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE WE'LL GET TOGETHER AND FIX ...
  A: I need more information before I can answer this question. What is the venue? It sounds like a ...
Extending greetings4/4/2008
  Q: What is the current(or US) protocol on greeting? My heritage is British and etiquette as it was ...
  A: Your upbringing taught you well. I might add that there is no difference at the workplace. Good ...
Gifts4/1/2008
  Q: A dear friend has given my newborn outfits that I absolutley hate. I can't imagine having to put ...
  A: In this case, your dear friend has overstepped her bounds. Personally, I would send a nice thank-you ...
door opening/holding etiquette4/1/2008
  Q: When a man and a woman are walking together approaching a door, especially a narrower one, should ...
  A: I side with you and your friends on this one. From an etiquette point of view, today's rules are ...
table manners3/31/2008
  Q: I am a stepparent to a 10year old. We only have her for 2days a week, but she has the worst table ...
  A: First, let me say that I grew up with a step mother so I understand how this situation can be ...
dinner party invites3/31/2008
  Q: I am invited to my mother-inlaw's for a sit down dinner. At the last minute, my sister and her ...
  A: First of all, stop fuming. We're talking about a dinner party, not a botched open heart surgery. ...
Uninvited Houseguests3/30/2008
  Q: I have a cousin that lives 6 hours away, he will show up anyday, anytime with his 7 children and ...
  A: Unfortunately it sounds like you have become begrudgingly an enabler in this situation. This ...
Pouring wine3/29/2008
  Q: Is it improper to pour wine into your guest's glass that still contains wine?
  A: Simply stated, no, it is not improper to pour wine into your guest's wine glass if it still contains ...
Wedding invitations for singles3/27/2008
  Q: A friend is sending out wedding invites and during a phone conversation stated that since I was ...
  A: I have to agree with you and I have to agree with your friend at the same time. First of all, the ...
College Graduation Announcements3/27/2008
  Q: I will be graduating in May and I am preparing to send out my announcements. I'm going to send them ...
  A: First let me congratulate you on your accomplishment. Secondly, let me thank-you for taking the time ...
Small Dinner Seating3/27/2008
  Q: My wife and I were discussing (not arguing)how to seat ourselves when we go to dinner with only us ...
  A: The answer really depends on who the third party is. If it's a woman, she should on your right and ...
car seating etiquette3/27/2008
  Q: What is the proper way of seating in a car when there is men and women going on a ride altogether.Is ...
  A: For couples going on a road trip together, there is no right or wrong way to arrange the seating, no ...
Send gift for event or keep until you see the person?3/26/2008
  Q: I have an ongoing battle with relatives - they like to keep the gifts for my daughter (we only give ...
  A: I must agree with you here. Perhaps if your parents put themselves in the shoes of a 7 year old ...
etiquette regarding return address labels3/26/2008
  Q: Is it acceptable to put only the last name on return address labels (along with the address of ...
  A: I am certainly guilty of doing this myself, usually because I am in a rush. However, in a formal ...
Phone call to confirm plans3/25/2008
  Q: I was recently asked by my niece, who was about to deliver her second child, if I would be "on ...
  A: You have asked an excellent question and one which I can relate to as well. There are many factors ...

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Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Jay Remer

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Expertise

I am happy to answer any questions about social or corporate etiquette as well as questions regarding international protocol. It is important to practice civility. It is contagious.

Experience

I am certified by the Protocol School of Washington as a consultant for corporate etiquette and international protocol. I have been entertaining and giving advise on entertaining for over 40 years.

Publications
Weekly column in Telegraph Journal

Education/Credentials
Graduate of Protocol School of Washington

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