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Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Questions Answered by Expert Teri Davis Newman

SubjectDate Asked
awkward letter9/20/2016
  Q: I would like to send a condolence letter (Not a sympathy card!) to an acquaintance whose father ...
  A: I would word it in such a way that you convey that you are sorry for her loss but not to imply that ...
women7/20/2016
  Q: Is it bad manners to go up to a woman I don't know and say "I want to fuck you".
  A: If you really have to ask this question, then you are beyond what I or anyone can do for you. You ...
Non-Communicating Neighbor5/14/2016
  Q: Recently, my neighbor approached me and said that she found a kitten in her yard, and was unable to ...
  A: Just go ask her if the kitten still needs a home and if so, you are prepared to do that now, but not ...
Grave Monument Name4/20/2016
  Q: I had a brother is that died at 14 y/o, and we were raised by our mother and step father. When my ...
  A: If your stepfather doesn't visit the grave (and it's highly unlikely that he does after 44 years) ...
Gravy boats1/16/2016
  Q: Newman: I am shopping for a sterling gravy boat. What are the best dimensions for the boat for ...
  A: For small home dinner parties you should have a 12-16 oz gravy boat as it can be refilled and they ...
Obtaining Addresses12/18/2015
  Q: I am thinking about sending a graduation card to a college student who will graduate soon. We ...
  A: As they say, it's the thought that counts. People who put their address online do this in order to ...
Saying Goodbye12/6/2015
  Q: Newman: There is a young female employee who will be resigning soon from her job where we both ...
  A: If she told you personally that she is leaving then you should definitely wish her well a day or two ...
last minute cancellation of birthday party9/20/2015
  Q: scheduled birthday party is less than a week away (6 days to be exact) and the guest of honor's (my ...
  A: Send this: "I'm terribly sorry but due to a severe family illness the invitations to the party must ...
distracting throat clearing7/10/2015
  Q: my co-worker does this every 15 seconds or so. i'm pretty sure it is intentional because a) she ...
  A: I had to give this some serious thought, I've been pondering it for several days, because this is ...
Bridal shower7/2/2015
  Q: Our son is getting married. Our son and his fiancée both grew up and still live locally. Although ...
  A: Traditionally this is who does what: The groom's family hosts the engagement party. The maid of ...
stovkings etiquettes4/19/2015
  Q: This is the first time I purchased thigh high stockings, for a dress that is just above knee length. ...
  A: It's a matter of personal taste, style and fashion. In older times it was considered incredibly ...
Birthday party1/18/2015
  Q: My daughters Birthday is coming up and rather than a ton of gifts we would prefer donations to ...
  A: I think it's lovely, and I commend your daughter for doing something good for God's helpless ...
Commenting About Someone's Relationship12/28/2014
  Q: Recently I ran into a former classmate from college that I hadn't seen in years. She was very ...
  A: You did exactly the right thing. You were polite, you kept your opinion to yourself and by not ...
How Do I Cancel My Child's Birthday Party?9/17/2014
  Q: Hey Teri! How do I cancel my 1 year old son's birthday party with grace and appropriate etiquette ...
  A: You send out something like this: Due to unavoidable circumstances, little Elfred's birthday party ...
birthday gift8/10/2014
  Q: I purchased a birthday gift for my neighbor because she dropped some pretty strong hints about her ...
  A: Some people are like that, they won't open a gift early for whatever insane reason they have. My ...
Friend's Veterinarians Remark8/8/2014
  Q: Newman: My friend took her sick dog to the veterinarian because he was making a grinding sound with ...
  A: I think he was just one of those people who is sensitive to some sounds and he was PROBABLY making ...
Headstone inscription5/12/2014
  Q: What order should the person who passed away's role in the family be listed on the headstone? ...
  A: The only thing usually put on headstones these days is name, date of birth and date of death. None ...
Dividing costs per night4/15/2014
  Q: I have a question. We are renting a condo for a bachelorette party. It is a weekend rental as they ...
  A: I would take the total cost and divide it by the number of attendees, making it very clear that they ...
Bringing Food to a Party - Do I have any rights?10/27/2011
  Q: My question pertains to party food, specifically about when you bring something to another person's ...
  A: Not everyone has the same definition of hospitality or what constitutes a snack versus what is a ...
birth & death announcement of twins from parents to family10/14/2011
  Q: My husband and I are expecting twins shortly. We have recently been told that one the babies will ...
  A: First, no action is required on your part at this time. Wait and see what happens. It's not ...
Reception introductions10/3/2011
  Q: I'm not sure how to proceed with introductions at my daughters wedding reception including both my ...
  A: You are correct. Your ex-wife is the mother-of-the bride. You are there with your current wife as ...
proper greeting between children and adults9/9/2011
  Q: 1. If adults are in a room and a child enters the room, should the child wait to be spoken to, or ...
  A: Does the old adage "children should be seen and not heard" and "do not speak until spoken to" have ...
Proper Protocol9/8/2011
  Q: My husband and I have been invited to a ceremony for a friend's daughter and future son in law. His ...
  A: Go to the wedding, dress nicely--just as you would any other wedding and behave just as you would ...
Wedding Return Address Labels8/9/2011
  Q: I am getting married and my finance and I do not live together; we have decided to use my address ...
  A: If you two are hosting the wedding, that's fine, but the RSVPs are properly sent to the home of the ...
Attending Ex-Husbands Memorial Picnic8/3/2011
  Q: My 32 year old son is having a memorial picnic for his Father. Actually he is doing it because of ...
  A: It's up to you. I would not go and if you don't, your son will feel free to leave whenever he ...
Social Function Etiquette7/22/2011
  Q: If you are having a conversation, at a bar lets say, with your significant other, and their coworker ...
  A: Your question was written with excellent grammar, no misspelled words and properly punctuated, so I ...
Graduation Invitation Etiquette - divorced parent7/13/2011
  Q: My son is graduating and I'm doing the invitations. His mother and I divorced about 11 years ago and ...
  A: Here's the proper wording: Mr. & Mrs. John Smith and Mrs. Jane Smith have the pleasure to announce ...
etiquette7/2/2011
  Q: The other day my mother was hospitalized overnight. I went to visit her and sat by her bed. The ...
  A: It depends on your gender. A man ALWAYS stands to shake hands. A woman can sit or stand at her ...
childern etiquette6/22/2011
  Q: Should 4 year olds be allowed to run around and play at dinner time as a guest at someone else's ...
  A: Not just no, but HELL NO!! No person who is not specifically invited should ever come to a dinner ...
party at a lake6/20/2011
  Q: I thought it would be nice to throw a friend a party at my grandparents lake home. I had 12 people ...
  A: No decent person brings a damn dog to SOMEONE ELSE'S house. It is literally the height of rudeness ...
Addressing Mail6/1/2011
  Q: How do you address letters/ envelopes to none married couples
  A: Mr. John Jones Miss Jane Smith 1234 Main Street City, State 00000-0000 Of course you can send them ...
Giving a group gift5/20/2011
  Q: I am organising a group gift for a friend's birthday (she really wants a new bike) and wanted to ...
  A: Tell them what you are doing and ask if they would like to contribute to the gift and if they say ...
1st communion5/17/2011
  Q: Is it rude to leave the church right after my sons communion and go on a trip instead of having ...
  A: WOW. That's a loaded question for sure! If there is no party planned and you don't want a party, ...
high school open house gifts for twins4/19/2011
  Q: How would I politely request that, eventhough my twins are sharing a graduation open house, that the ...
  A: You cannot ever mention anything about gifts because that says that you expect to be given one, ...
hosting covered dish baby shower for employee4/1/2011
  Q: My husband owns a small business. One of the veterinarians' wives is having a baby. The staff asked ...
  A: I'm not sure why they would be calling you--are they supposed to help? Or is it an RSVP for the ...
Giving a gift back4/1/2011
  Q: A week after complimenting a friend/customer's hair and telling her I might try the treatment she ...
  A: Tell her you made the appointment and the stylist never showed up. Give her back the certificate ...
Luncheon3/18/2011
  Q: I am a friend of the mother of the bride and I know and I want to host a luncheon,,not a bridal ...
  A: Since it's a small group, I'd let them order from the menu--if you had 30 people it would be easier ...
dinner invitation3/12/2011
  Q: I am having a chef at a local reataurant prepare a meal of wild duck (provided by me ) plus ...
  A: ABSOLUTELY NOT!! If you invite them as your guests, you are responsible for the cost of the meal in ...
Should second wife be invited to bridal shower3/7/2011
  Q: My niece is having a bridal shower. My brothers second wife was not invited. She has been invited ...
  A: Wait--she didn't want to go, but she wanted to be invited? WTF? Did she need an invitation so she ...
Shower2/6/2011
  Q: I was friends for awhile with this girl and we havent talked in two mos i shyed away from her cuz ...
  A: You send her a note that reads exactly like this: I am so sorry, but I will be unable to attend the ...
acknowledgement of shower/wedding gifts1/14/2011
  Q: Attended a "Bar Shower" in Sept '10. Wedding gift given was an expensive platter that had to be ...
  A: You tell the parents exactly this: I need to know if the gift I sent Muffy was received since I ...
My wife did not invite me1/8/2011
  Q: My wife and I are business partners in a client based field. We train horses and the clients that ...
  A: No one ever properly invites one half of a couple. It is rude to do this and there is no excuse. ...
Baby Shower1/3/2011
  Q: My daughter and her boyfriend are expecting a child. two friends offered to have a baby shower for ...
  A: Showers are never properly given by family members. Period. They may contribute, they may attend ...
Bridal shower12/28/2010
  Q: Back ground :My 2 sisters each have 2 kids Kathy has 2 girls and Debbie has 2 boys, when the kids ...
  A: They are beyond rude. They are rude, crude, crass, totally socially unacceptable and had I been in ...
Being Whisteled at12/22/2010
  Q: As of late, my wife has taken a liking to whisteling at me in public places, in close quarters ...
  A: It is incredibly rude. You are not a dog and she has absolutely no right to whistle for you as if ...
facial expressions when conversing12/1/2010
  Q: When one has had to disagree with one's partner in conversation, or to give evidence for one's own ...
  A: She's wrong. A smile conveys lack of malice. You will never convince her that she's wrong, so let ...
Widower question-10/14/2010
  Q: I have been with my Tony for 4 years, married for 2 of those years. We are nearing the anniversary ...
  A: Let it go. Don't bring it up and for heaven's sake DO NOT GET A CARD! I can't imagine how a card ...
Who should be invited to a 50th wedding anniversary party?10/3/2010
  Q: I wanted to know the proper protocol for who to invite to a 50th Wedding Anniversary Party. My ...
  A: The proper etiquette for any party is to invite the guests one wishes to entertain on the budget one ...
Wedding gifts9/16/2010
  Q: My daughter got married 9/11 and of 210 guests, about 20% didn't leave a card or gift, but came to ...
  A: There is no possible way to ask wedding guests if they gave a gift without appearing incredibly ...
Wedding Attire9/6/2010
  Q: My husband and I will be attending a wedding in which he will be the best man. As his wife, am I ...
  A: You dress as any other guest, but you'll want to look especially nice as you will be in a lot of ...
Business Invitations - Cocktails vs. Wines9/3/2010
  Q: We have an ongoing debate in the office regarding the correct wording invitations to a client ...
  A: You'd better go to a liquor store and stock up as you have fundamentally misrepresented your event. ...
Mother-in-Laws 80th Birthday Dinner9/2/2010
  Q: My in laws are giving their mother a 80th surprise birthday dinner at a 5 star restaurant and are ...
  A: You cannot properly invite people to an event and ask them to pay for their meal. It is simply NOT ...
Addressing letter to newlyweds9/1/2010
  Q: How should a letter to newlyweds be addressed if you have no idea whether the bride will be taking ...
  A: Mr. and Mrs. John Jones 123 Main Street Anytown, ST 00000 Even when brides don't use their husband's ...
Christmas card - deceased wife8/18/2010
  Q: How do I sign the Christmas cards? My wife passed away just a few months ago and this is the first ...
  A: No, write a note: I'm sorry to have to tell you that my beloved wife Mary passed away earlier this ...
bossy neighbors8/1/2010
  Q: We bought a house in a cul-de-sac, lived in it for a few years, and are now renting it out. One of ...
  A: If you think it's a serious problem or if you could be fined for their behavior then you might want ...
cell phones7/28/2010
  Q: Is it okay to answer cell phones when there are other people in the room? Shouldn't you excuse ...
  A: If you are at a gathering, it's polite to turn the ringer to vibrate so you don't annoy others. You ...
Wedding7/16/2010
  Q: A very goood friend of mine is getting married to a guy that is very well off. They are considering ...
  A: You need to tell her that you simply cannot afford to undertake the expense of a destination ...
open house6/26/2010
  Q: The invitation says "Open House, 4 to 9". Does that mean to stay the whole time or any time between ...
  A: You can show up anytime after 4:45 and stay until about 8:30 or so--unless it's so horrible you ...
Baby Shower Invitations6/18/2010
  Q: How do I address mailing envelope to a married woman..."Mrs. John Doe" seems so formal for ...
  A: The proper address to a married woman is Mrs. John Doe. A widow is STILL also properly addressed as ...
60th Anniversary Dinner6/17/2010
  Q: My wife and her brother are planning a dinner party at a restaurant to celebrate their parents 60th ...
  A: You CANNOT CHARGE GUESTS FOR DINNER. The only time you can charge people to come to a dinner is when ...
get together manners6/2/2010
  Q: We recently had guest over for Memorial Day. They brought salads from another party they were at and ...
  A: If they didn't bring the salads to serve at your party, then they were just parking them in your ...
wedding attire6/1/2010
  Q: I will be attending a 4:00 wedding in a church in eastern PA. The dress code is formal attire. Is ...
  A: At 4 pm yes. However, the reception will be evening, so if you wear a cocktail length dress, it ...
Acknowledgement of wedding gift5/29/2010
  Q: I would appreciate your opinion. My nephew recently married in the US. My husband and I were ...
  A: Your nephew has married someone who has no manners or social graces. This is unfortunate but it's ...
high school graduation gifs.5/23/2010
  Q: I have two niece's graduating high school this year. We are rather close to both of them. What is ...
  A: It's very generous and if you can afford to do for all of them equally, then that's fine. Most high ...
65th anniversary newspaper announcement5/19/2010
  Q: My 3 siblings and I wanted to put an announcement in a city newspaper about our parents' upcoming ...
  A: Get your father to give permission. Tell your mother that it is also OK to announce a milestone ...
Fiance's sons college graduation5/12/2010
  Q: I am not invited to my fiance's son's graduation.. Isn't it proper to invite your fiance to come ...
  A: It's a slap in the face. If you aren't invited to this, it bodes ill for the future. However, ...
Graduation invitation etiquette for divorced parents5/11/2010
  Q: Our 2nd son is graduates HS next month. My now ex-husband decided we could NOT have a joint party ...
  A: Your ex-husband is a jackass. Tell your friends (the ones you were planning to invite) what he's ...
Adult Twin Birthday Party Etiquette5/10/2010
  Q: Ms Newman, My boyfriend and his twin sister will be turning 45 in the fall. I'd like to throw him ...
  A: Your party, your guest list! I see no reason to include her in any event in the future unless you ...
Quinceañera Ettiquette5/5/2010
  Q: I am not Mexican, however, I have been asked to be a Padrina for a friends Daughter for her ...
  A: An ever-increasingly popular cultural tradition, the quince años celebration is an occasion to ...
How not to invite someone.5/3/2010
  Q: We are planning a family get-together on the 4th of July. My daughter-in-law always asks if she can ...
  A: When she asks, tell her that you are sorry but it's for the immediate family only and that you wish ...
Inlaws4/27/2010
  Q: I am happily married man and have two children ages 6 and 8. We live in a 3 bedroom home. My in-laws ...
  A: The next time they call and say they are coming, you say this: "Wow, that's great! I'll make a hotel ...
Boyfriend's Birthday Party4/26/2010
  Q: Ms. Newman, I am dating a man with a twin brother whose birthday is soon approaching. I received a ...
  A: She had no business doing this without consulting you and if you don't nip this in the bud in an ...
Baby Shower4/25/2010
  Q: My daughter's 1st baby is due next month. She lives in one state, I in another, in-law's another ...
  A: Congratulations! What you are setting up is called a pool which is common with Superbowl bowl ...
Harassment from husband's friends4/25/2010
  Q: My husband has a couple of single male friends as well as a couple that I really don't like, and for ...
  A: There's a simpler solution. Stop attending any social function where these rude people are invited. ...
manners & introduction4/18/2010
  Q: My husband thinks I am crazy...if a mom I've never met drops off her son to come visit our son, She, ...
  A: You are both right and both wrong but in the lifetime that comprises a marriage, this isn't ...
Introducing your spouse and children?4/17/2010
  Q: Is there ever a social situation where you would not be expected to introduce your spouse and/or ...
  A: One should always introduce their spouse and children in any encounter with someone they know but ...
Polo Shirts4/16/2010
  Q: Newman, I often wear polo shirts, including when I'm going to a party, attending classes, or ...
  A: Never pop your collar on a polo shirt--it looks ridiculous--it's a leftover thing from the 80's and ...
Gift Giving3/30/2010
  Q: My husband and I have celebrated all of our nieces and nephews life events with cards and gifts. Now ...
  A: There is a time when annual gift giving stops. You are WAYYYYYY past that date. 18 is the cutoff ...
Invited on vacation3/12/2010
  Q: My then boyfriend said his brother invited us to go on vacation to stay in a condo at the beach with ...
  A: It's water under the bridge sweetie. I don't think she really thought about how it would appear ...
College Graduation Invitations3/3/2010
  Q: I am graduating from college. Can I put put "Class of 2010" or is that more geared toward High ...
  A: You can if you wish, it's entirely up to you. Keep in mind that virtually all colleges limit the ...
Open House2/28/2010
  Q: A friend of mine has moved into a big house with her boyfriend. They are not engaged and they want ...
  A: She's not too socially gifted is she? Apparently she doesn't know that and open house or ...
open house !2/21/2010
  Q: My new Pastor and his family are having an open house. What should I bring ?
  A: Flowers are always nice--or a baked goodie is also appreciated. I don't know if your religion is OK ...
receiving gift basket2/19/2010
  Q: After a recent visit to my aesthetician, where we chatted about my husband being very ill and how we ...
  A: Absolutely. Thank you notes are the number one best thing to send for any kindness. It shows people ...
Graduation Gathering:2/18/2010
  Q: I would like to invite a large group to a local restaurant to celebrate my graduation from college. ...
  A: You don't. It is the height of tackiness to invite people to celebrate your achievement and expect ...
funeral etiquette2/11/2010
  Q: 16 years ago my wife of almost 20 years passed away, leaving me with our 11 year old son. We have ...
  A: You go to the funeral to support your son who has lost his grandmother and you behave with the ...
sympathy card2/1/2010
  Q: My daughter in laws grandmother passed away. Do we send the sympathy card to her mother and father ...
  A: You would send a card to her parents IF YOU ARE FRIENDLY/CLOSE to them. If not, then send it to ...
bridal shower snub?1/29/2010
  Q: The mother of the groom and sister of the groom organized my bridal shower. Of course a large part ...
  A: She hosted your shower. This counts as a gift and then some. The incredible amount of work ...
questions1/18/2010
  Q: this question pertains directly to All experts. I have on occasion had a question that I would like ...
  A: Wait until you receive an answer before asking a different expert. However, if it is a technical ...
PhD wedding invite1/12/2010
  Q: Teri, My daughter will be getting married soon. Her father and I are hosting the wedding and ...
  A: In the United States, the courtesy title of "Dr." is used ONLY for an MD. No other doctorate degree ...
Hosting my own Birthday Dinner1/8/2010
  Q: I am turning 40 in 2 months. My friends are all very busy in their lives right now. I was wondering ...
  A: It sounds like fun! Just put something cute like "Wine Seminar/Birthday Celebration" on the invites ...
Proper use of the Dr. and Ph. D. Titles1/4/2010
  Q: I have a colleague that signs his name Dr. <fname><mi><lname>, Jr., Ph.D. Is this really the proper ...
  A: You can have a lot of fun laughing at your overly egotistical colleague because everyone else is ...
Formal Family Dinner Party12/31/2009
  Q: I have a question to do with being invited over to a persons house just before a Formal Dinner. I ...
  A: Ken, You were egregiously treated and you should absolutely be offended and upset because this is ...
Ex-wife and ex-girlfriend12/30/2009
  Q: I have two issues that I can't seem to relate to my male partner of 9 years. I will try very hard ...
  A: What you are dealing with is the offshoot of what every adoption agency knows--biology has nothing ...
No response to RSVP12/28/2009
  Q: I have sent 60 invitations for my daughter's baby shower January 17. As of now only 30 people have ...
  A: First, it is entirely improper for you to be hosting the shower. People soliciting gifts for their ...
taking my in laws out & them ordering the most expensive meal on us12/22/2009
  Q: My husbands parents think we are made of money. We stopped taking them out to eat with us a few yrs ...
  A: If you invite someone to dine out with you, then you pay for their meal. The easiest way to avoid ...
Overnight Guests12/20/2009
  Q: When you are inviting our of town guests to come to your home for a Holiday, how should you handle ...
  A: Get them a hotel room and pay for it. Use Priceline.com and wait until about 4 pm on the day you ...
Babyshower12/17/2009
  Q: Should I attend my stepdaughters baby shower being held at her mothers (my husbands ex-wife)? I ...
  A: If you have an invitation, then by all means attend IF YOU WANT TO. You don't have to take any crap ...
Work and Social Etiqutte12/14/2009
  Q: I and my wife are asian.I am an Indian citizen and my wife is an Iranian citizen. we are on the ...
  A: My best advice would be to apply for citizenship and embrace the culture and customs of the country. ...
christmas gift etiquette12/13/2009
  Q: My brother's wife is a tacky Christmas gift giver. First she gives us a list of gifts she EXPECTS ...
  A: When your sister-in-law hands you her list, smile and hand it back to her and tell her that you ...
65th Birthday12/10/2009
  Q: Is it proper to charge your guest for the dinner and not ask for any gifts? Or can you ask for cash ...
  A: You don't do it. That's why you can't find any invitations that read: "Please come to my party. ...
regifting family jewerly12/9/2009
  Q: As my daughter's wedding approachs, I intend to give her a string of pearls from her deceased ...
  A: First, this is not re-gifting, it is called "passing down family heirlooms" and it should be done ...
parents 50th wedding aniversary party12/5/2009
  Q: Then my next brother is going through a divorce he also has several children. To be blunt we do not ...
  A: Sometimes it's tough when the reality of "You can't please everyone" comes home to roost. You are ...
Addressing Envelopes11/20/2009
  Q: I am often confused about how I should address envelopes for a women who lives alone with one son. ...
  A: Why does the child need to be addressed? There's no reason for a child to be acknowledged on his ...
Engagement/wedding gift11/15/2009
  Q: I am the mother of the bride. What is proper for gift giving to the groom...an engagement present ...
  A: You do not give him an engagement gift and a wedding gift is given to the couple. Traditionally when ...
bridal shower gift11/14/2009
  Q: Is it ok to give an etiquette book as a shower gift?
  A: It's OK if you are giving to her to help her plan her wedding. You can't tell her that she NEEDS it ...
Backing Out11/11/2009
  Q: My father talked me into signing up for free classes at our local Sheriff Department "Citizen ...
  A: As a police wife, you are correct in your view that these classes will not help you. Additionally, ...
Manners11/9/2009
  Q: My sister n law recently ignored my husband and my birthdays altogether (two days apart). We were at ...
  A: Yes you are, and your husband is correct. Birthdays stop being a big deal to relatives after a ...
Social Etiquette11/2/2009
  Q: My husband is turning 40 next month. I would like to surprise him by having a few of his friends ...
  A: There's no real invitation wording for this as it's basically saying this: "I want to have a party ...
Invitation wording10/26/2009
  Q: My brother and I are hosting a party in honor of our parents 25th wedding anniversary. Due to our ...
  A: You do not ask for any kind of gifts or donations--that's simply not done. Invite the guests to a ...
question of good taste10/25/2009
  Q: would it be appropriate for a parent to take a meal from a restaurant to a 19 year old son who is at ...
  A: No. This is a 19 year old which is by law an adult. He can get his own food--and he should! He's ...
Third Wedding Etiquette10/23/2009
  Q: I am lucky enough to find a wonderful man, that I should have met first. He proposed over the summer ...
  A: Have your white wedding. It's your day and the convention that it's for younger brides only is no ...
Entering a Room10/20/2009
  Q: If someone is to walk into an office where other employees are already gathered, who's ...
  A: In an informal working environment where people work together every day, a general "good morning" ...
rude in laws10/2/2009
  Q: Newman, My problem is dealing with a rude sister in law and her rude children. My husband and I ...
  A: WOW! You certainly do have a problem my dear. These people hold you in very low esteem and they ...
etiquette9/24/2009
  Q: I was wondering what ones obligation,or expectation, was to ones friends or relatives coming to ...
  A: They're on their own unless you feel like being an exceptional human. Feed them the first night, ...
Banquet service styles9/23/2009
  Q: We're planning a 50th wedding anniversary for our parents. We would like the evening to be formal, ...
  A: There are only 3 kinds of service--Plate service, buffet and family style. Plate service is what ...
A dinner invite9/19/2009
  Q: When you are invited to dinner and to stay the weekend with a good friend and his wife and i ask is ...
  A: Yes, of course! You bring a small hostess gift such as flowers, a bottle of wine for them to drink ...
Going Dutch on Large Groups9/16/2009
  Q: I am a special events planner at a hotel in Florida. Most recently I have had 5 different requests ...
  A: The short answer is NO!! Who ARE these people??? Oh. My. God. If you invite a person to an event, ...
wedding invitations9/11/2009
  Q: The situation is this: Pending wedding, each family has been given a specific number to invite, and ...
  A: People understand the high cost of weddings and with the economy the way it is, maybe these people ...
paying for your guest at a debutante ball9/11/2009
  Q: A friend's daughter is to be presented at a debutante ball and she has asked a young man to escort ...
  A: The girl should pay for the dinner ticket since she invited but if he accepts then it is up to him ...
Gift Opening at First Birthday??9/9/2009
  Q: My daughter's first birthday is fast approaching and the guest list seems to be growing ...
  A: Open them in stages--after all, she won't really know what it's about since she's only one---the ...
Bridal Shower Invitations9/8/2009
  Q: Is it proper etiquette to hand write bridal shower invitation envelopes? How about Save the Date ...
  A: Sweetie, if you don't write the names and addresses on the envelope the post office will have a very ...
party etiquette9/6/2009
  Q: First off thank you for your help. I have a 2 part question... My question pertains to birthday and ...
  A: Make the parties gift-free by putting "No Gifts Please" on the invitation. Anyone over the age of 30 ...
invitation etiquetter8/31/2009
  Q: when wording invitation with names of parents - how do you include Jr. or Sr. with name---parents ...
  A: Mr. and Mrs. John Grey Taylor and Mr. and Mrs. Raymond Mitchell, Sr. request the honor of your ...
Wedding Gift8/27/2009
  Q: My husband and I were invited to a wedding recently. It was someone that I would call an ...
  A: Let's see. You tell me that you don't know these people, you DON'T go to the wedding, your husband ...
Wedding Invitatio Ediquette8/25/2009
  Q: My father is going to remarry a very nice woman (our mother passed away about 4 years ago). We ...
  A: If your dad and his bride are hosting the wedding, the wording is as follows: Mr. John Doe and Ms. ...
second wedding expenses8/21/2009
  Q: My stepson is getting remarried in six months. His first marriage only lasted six months, but only ...
  A: Tell him you paid for this in the first wedding and you aren't paying for it again. He needs to ...
parents8/18/2009
  Q: Our daughter has been dating a young man and it looks like it may be serious. Which set of parents ...
  A: Neither set of parents is obligated to meet the other set just because it "looks like it may be ...
wedding invitation8/10/2009
  Q: How do you word a wedding invitation when my mother has recently passed away? Do I include her in ...
  A: I am so sorry for your loss. I know it must be so hard for you to be planning a wedding without your ...
late thanks-notes etiquette8/4/2009
  Q: I am embarrassed to admit it, but I have not finished writing thanks notes for my wedding of just ...
  A: You are going to have to eat some serious crow hon--but never fear--people who love other people ...
note of thanks8/3/2009
  Q: My husband and I recently moved to a new state. One neighbor brought us "lunch" and a few days ...
  A: it's an EXTRA nice thing to do! The first line should read something like: "I'm sorry to be so tardy ...
Baby Shower Invitations7/27/2009
  Q: I am planning a baby shower with relatives for a relative. I also want to invite people to bring a ...
  A: First, you cannot host a baby shower for a relative as it is highly improper for a relative of the ...
Attire at a wedding7/25/2009
  Q: I have a wedding to attend to this evening, and I am just curious as to whether it is appropriate to ...
  A: You never wear white to a wedding unless you are the bride. If it's a formal wedding, you can wear ...
Daughter's Wedding7/23/2009
  Q: Is it in poor taste for my sister to have scheduled a family reunion 3 weeks prior to my daughter's ...
  A: Yes it is. Your sister must have lost her mind to choose this date as you don't do something like ...
birthday parties7/22/2009
  Q: Teri, My sister-in-law has four children. For the past 5 or so years, every time she plans a ...
  A: First, it's family and that kind of makes it a different sort of thing and if you don't want to ...
Hostess Gift Protocol7/15/2009
  Q: When should you open the Hostess gift? When it is given? Or when guest have gone?
  A: It depends. If it's just you and the guest, open it when it is presented and make sure you show ...
signing a guest book7/13/2009
  Q: what is the correct way for a married couple to sign a guest book? whose name goes first? thanks ...
  A: Signing of a guest book is NEVER informal because informal events as a rule do NOT have guest books. ...
addressing envelopes7/8/2009
  Q: when addressing wedding envelopes for a married couple with different last names, is the woman ...
  A: While they may have different professional names, socially they are always addressed as either Mr.& ...
marrying a junior7/4/2009
  Q: I will be getting married in a week and will be taking my husband-to-be's last name. He is a ...
  A: YOU do not need to add the Jr. to your signature because YOU are NOT the "Junior", he is. The only ...
1st Birthday Gift question7/3/2009
  Q: Is there any polite way to ask for a contribution to FLORIDA PREPAID COLLEGE FUND in lue of toys and ...
  A: Unfortuntely there isn't. However if some were to ASK you can tell them. BTW it's a great idea and ...
wedding7/2/2009
  Q: I was recently married. We had a very small wedding and invited only certain people by word of ...
  A: OK, I think I know what happened here. First, your new MIL can have anyone at her home that she ...
lingerie shower6/30/2009
  Q: me and my co-worker would like to give a lingerie bridal shower for two ladies at our job it will be ...
  A: I think it's very cute! Touch up the punctuation and you're good to go! You can put their first and ...
Dinner Invitation Etiquette6/28/2009
  Q: My daughter & I have a little disagreement regarding a birthday dinner invitation. She invited me ...
  A: Well, in a formal situation with NON-FAMILY members, you would never ask ANY of your guests to bring ...
opening car door6/28/2009
  Q: I always open the car door for my lady, my question is should I also open the door when we arrive at ...
  A: Absolutely. Thank your Mother and Father for teaching you to do this as it is one of the ways that ...
wedding gifts6/28/2009
  Q: How do you find out if someone gave a gift at the wedding, but it got misplaced or stolen? There ...
  A: This is why gifts shouldn't be brought to the wedding. There are people who will not give you a ...
militay farewell6/26/2009
  Q: My neighbor has invited my family and I to a military farewell party at their house for their son. ...
  A: Graduation parties usually are just for the kids and their friends. Money isn't worth much in a war ...
Employee's wedding gift6/25/2009
  Q: I am a small business owner. My "right hand man" and full time employee (as well as my wives ...
  A: It's usually considered to be good manners to give a wedding gift of at least what it costs the ...
Birthday gift or Wedding gift?6/22/2009
  Q: I have received an invitation to a Family Cookout to meet my cousin's new wife,visit with his ...
  A: No wedding gift is required since you weren't invited to the wedding. No birthday gift is required ...
parents 50th anniversary reception6/19/2009
  Q: Our parents are so sweet and just good ole' country folks.With help from my brother and sister,we ...
  A: NO!!! YOU CANNOT DO THIS!! It would be rude, crass and totally socially unacceptable to request ...
gift opening at childrens parties6/19/2009
  Q: More and more I am noticing that children ages 5-12 are not opening their gifts at the party. There ...
  A: Gifts are usually opened at a children's party, but more and more the gifts are being opened later. ...
5oth wedding anniversary mass, vow renewal and dinner reception6/19/2009
  Q: What would be the proper way to word an invitation for our parents 50th wedding Anniversary ...
  A: Mr. & Mrs. John Doe and their children Jane Smith, John Doe, Jr. and Joe Doe Request the Pleasure of ...
bridal luncheon6/17/2009
  Q: I have been dating a gentleman for two years. we both lost our spouses several years ago. His ...
  A: The event where it is mothers and bridesmaids is not a shower, it's a bridal luncheon. No family ...
Baby shower invitation6/17/2009
  Q: I am throwing my best friend a baby shower who is having to travel to attend the shower. What is ...
  A: When you do the registry, you can specify that the gifts need to be shipped to her home. If none of ...
Cotillion Etiquette6/15/2009
  Q: , My niece is making her debut later this summer. A souvenir journal will be created as part of the ...
  A: No, it isn't. It is the height of bad manners to ask people to contribute in any way to a party to ...
my fiance's mother passed away6/4/2009
  Q: What should I do for the funeral, flowers?...check to the charity?...etc. I am trying to help where ...
  A: You could send flowers if you can afford it but the very best thing to do instead of flowers, get a ...
monetary gift for grad5/31/2009
  Q: is it tacky if you have a party for your graduate and have a wishing well, and ask for monetary ...
  A: Tacky is the very LEAST of what that is--I could think of a lot of things worse than tacky to ...
bridal shower question5/30/2009
  Q: I am "mother of the groom" and was asked by the mother of the bride if I wanted to co-host ...
  A: First, both the mother of the bride and mother of the groom are forbidden by etiquette rules to host ...
Joint Birthday Invitation Wording5/29/2009
  Q: I am in the midst of having a joint birthday party with my mother who is turning 50 as I am turning ...
  A: Just send out the invitation to the party--it's a birthday party so no other details are really ...
Graduation announcements5/29/2009
  Q: I was wondering what the correct etiquette would be when you receive graduation announcements. We ...
  A: You don't need to do anything except toss the cards in the trash. What you are receiving is the ...
URGENT5/28/2009
  Q: I have a huge dilemma and I don't know what to do. My daughter is a senior in high school. We have ...
  A: Either one is proper--that was the point. She's going to graduate this year so if you want to have ...
graduation gift5/28/2009
  Q: is it proper to give a gift for graduation from a two year college
  A: You aren't obligated to do anything. Grads have a very bad habit of sending out an announcement to ...
Graduation gift5/28/2009
  Q: I have a cousin I hardly ever see. They sent an invite to a party I cannot attend. The party is for ...
  A: You aren't obligated to do anything. High School grads have a very bad habit of sending out an ...
Graduation Card Party5/27/2009
  Q: Can I have a surprise card party for my son's college graduation? Due to his wife being transferred ...
  A: No, you cannot as it would be viewed as gift fishing. You can send out announcements and tell ...
wedding invites5/26/2009
  Q: I have a cousin who is not very nice to me and is always talking down to me and criticizing me and ...
  A: You should have had her buddy arrested for attempted rape way back when, but I suppose it's too late ...
bridal luncheon5/26/2009
  Q: I just received an invitation to a Bridal Luncheon that is being done for my granddaughter (my first ...
  A: A bridal luncheon is exactly that, a luncheon given by the bride to thank her attendants for all of ...
35th Birthday5/26/2009
  Q: Good evening, I am tossing around ideas for my boyfriend’s 35th birthday party this August 2009. I ...
  A: It depends on the affluence level of your guests. If $100 buck a pop is no big deal to them, then ...
Dance with the one that brung ya?5/26/2009
  Q: I and two friends went out as a group to a nightclub recently. One of our party met some others he ...
  A: Wasn't the idea of the 3 of you going out to find women? I really don't think I have enough ...
30th Wedding Anniversary5/24/2009
  Q: I would like to have a party for my parents 30th Anniversary. I will not be serving dinner, just ...
  A: You cannot put a request for ANY kind of gifts on an invitation. You accept whatever is given (IF ...
Neighbours in an apartment building5/24/2009
  Q: I moved into a senior's apartment building several months ago, leaving all my belongings in storage ...
  A: No, your question was STUPID. Any MORON knows that if you don't want company you don't answer the ...
How to dance with beginners5/23/2009
  Q: I've danced for a number of years. I typically go to a ballroom with a large mixture dancers of ...
  A: She's a beginner. Think of her as a dance "virgin" and move at her level because you want her to ...
which finger to wear wedding ring after death of spouse5/20/2009
  Q: i am a widower,and was there a particilar finger the band should be on after the death of your ...
  A: I'm so sorry for your loss. A widow/widower continues to wear the wedding ring on the left hand ...
debutaunte ball5/18/2009
  Q: My sorority sister & best friend asked me to be a guest at her southern debutante ball. I am ...
  A: It's just a formal party to celebrate her 21st birthday (usually) and a small birthday gift is ...
HS Graduation Announcement5/15/2009
  Q: Is it appropriate to put on the HS grad announcement the graduates accolades, and future college? ...
  A: No, it is not. It's a graduation announcement, not a "my kid is smarter than the other kids" ...
invited to shower but not wedding5/14/2009
  Q: is it good manners to be invited by a coworker to a bridal shower but not to her wedding?
  A: No, it's extremely rude. It means that you aren't on the "A-list" so you don't get to attend the ...
WHETHER OR NOT IT IS RIGHT TO TAKE SOMEONE OTHER THAN THE ONE YOU REPONDED FOR5/11/2009
  Q: I HAVE A CO-WORKER WHO IS GETTING MARRIED NEXT WEEK,ORIGINALLY I WAS GOING WITH MY HUSBAND, BUT NOW ...
  A: It's fine to take a substitute escort to a wedding rather than go alone and he was very gracious to ...
bridal luncheon5/10/2009
  Q: Aunts of groom and bride want to do something for bride an groom. It was suggested by someone to do ...
  A: The bridal luncheon is paid for by the bride to give her attendants gifts and thank them for all ...
Grandma baby shower5/9/2009
  Q: I would like to give a grandmother baby shower for my friend, whose son and daughter-in-law are ...
  A: Why would you have a grandmother shower? She's not the one having the baby who will need baby ...
graduation party invitation5/8/2009
  Q: My husband has just completed his requirements to graduate from college, at 46 years of age. He has ...
  A: You can have fun with this. When you do the invites you can joke with it by having on the front ...
etiquette5/6/2009
  Q: I had a discussion with my friends during lunch about proper manners. Two of us had very different ...
  A: It would really depend on how major of a disagreement you had. If it was a heated argument in public ...
Social etiquette5/4/2009
  Q: Recently i and my wife went out for lunch with one of our common (male- bachelor)colleague. The ...
  A: It makes absolutely no difference in a restaurant on a four-top square shaped table. Sit wherever ...
Proper etiquette when inviting weekend guests to summer home5/3/2009
  Q: I recently purchased a lake house and would like to understand proper etiquette when it comes to ...
  A: No. If you are hosting houseguests for the weekend, polite houseguests will take you out to dinner ...
My daughters wedding4/29/2009
  Q: My daughter is wanting to marry right away to a man who is going away overseas in the army. She ...
  A: Since the risk of where he is going is high, she needs to do the marriage before he goes so that if ...
50th B-Day invitation wording4/29/2009
  Q: I will be hosting a 50th B-Day party at my boyfriends house. We are expecting some of the guests ...
  A: No mention of sleeping arrangements or accomodations is ever mentioned in the invitation--EVER. You ...
Uninvited relative to a cousin's wedding.4/29/2009
  Q: My first cousin is getting married on May 23, 2009, and he did not invite me. He did however, ...
  A: You are not obligated to send a gift if you are not invited to the wedding, so don't send one. Are ...
proper address4/28/2009
  Q: How do I address an outer envelope for a person who is a Reverend and a Doctor and is married? Would ...
  A: Is he a Medical Doctor (MD)? If not, then the proper form of address in the United States is Mr. ...
engagement/ wedding4/28/2009
  Q: my younger brother and his wife are not on the best terms with my family due to his wife's catty ...
  A: Sometimes you need to send a powerful message to inspire better things in the future. If it were me, ...
Female married friend is attempting to get pregnant4/27/2009
  Q: What is the most acceptable way to politely ask my friend if she is pregnant?
  A: One never asks a lady if she is with child, it is simply NOT DONE, hence there is no polite way to ...
college graduation4/24/2009
  Q: My husband is graduating this semester. He is 30 and doesn't want to make a big deal out of it. ...
  A: You do NOT put the children's names on the announcement. EVER. This is your husband's ...
Thank you note4/20/2009
  Q: My new (I've only been at the company for 1.5 months) boss and his wife recently hosted a weekend ...
  A: A nice thank you note will do wonders for your image at work, address it to your hostess not your ...
wedding invitations4/20/2009
  Q: I need to know how to word my wedding invitations when there are divorced parents involved. My ...
  A: If your parents are hosting the wedding, there's no mention of his parents on the invitation. It ...
Estranged Father Invited to the Wedding4/16/2009
  Q: My best friend is getting married and her parents are divorced. Her mom has never really gotten over ...
  A: You are correct, the bride's sister is full of crap--she's obviously taken her etiquette lessons ...
Fence4/14/2009
  Q: I am building a fence between my property and my neighbors. She is upset because the "good" side is ...
  A: Absolutely. It is your fence and you can do it any way that you wish. Now you know where the term ...
college graduation announcement4/8/2009
  Q: my son is graduating from college. we have ordered and received his school's personalized ...
  A: It is considered unseemly to brag about one's achievements even if they are your child; which is why ...
COLLEGE GRADUATION4/8/2009
  Q: I REMARRIED WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS ONE. SHE IS 25 AND GRADUATING FROM COLLEGE. ON THE ANNOUNCEMENTS I ...
  A: You put HER NAME ONLY on the graduation announcement. Your family arrangements are not germane to a ...
Family who invite themselves for holidays-wearing out welcome4/6/2009
  Q: Hello. I have a question regarding etiquette, and perhaps you can help on this. First, of all, I ...
  A: My but that was a long question, I hope I got the gist of it and here's my advice: In my family ...
RSVP wedding4/3/2009
  Q: I recently received a 'save the date' card for my friends wedding, but it didn't come with a RSVP ...
  A: The 'save the date' card is a way of telling you that you ARE going to be invited to the wedding and ...
use of name in conversation4/3/2009
  Q: Is it more polite to address someone by name when you are talking with them or just to talk directly ...
  A: There's no polite rule per se on using someone's name in the manner you inquired about. However, ...
50th Anniversary dinner3/30/2009
  Q: I wanted to give my parents a 5oth anniversary dinner, however they would prefer just to go away ...
  A: You tell the waitstaff in advance the people who are your guests. They will put them all on your ...
Canadian "thank you's"...or not?3/30/2009
  Q: My husband and I are U.S. citizens, living in Texas. We attended the wedding of his niece in ...
  A: That's a lot of crap--she's just too lazy to send you a note. Every English-speaking country sends ...
Graduation for High School Senior3/28/2009
  Q: My son is graduating in June and I have no idea where to begin or what we are suppose to do. I know ...
  A: You don't really have to do anything if you don't want to, it's not a big deal. Send out the ...
toe nails3/25/2009
  Q: I was at my boy friend house, and we were eating dessert at his living room, he was no wearing ...
  A: As I answered: Grooming of any sort is never done at the dinner table. It's not even a question of ...
guest relations etiquette3/24/2009
  Q: I am a lobby concierge working for a busy high end hotel,what is the best etiquette to follow when ...
  A: You do not need to be complimenting the guests at all. It is viewed as insincere flattery for the ...
work place etiquette3/22/2009
  Q: I am the American wife of a Vice President working and living in Thailand.I find it inappropriate ...
  A: Apparently you are just now learning of the low esteem in which women are openly viewed. This is ...
High School Graduation3/18/2009
  Q: How early do we send out invitations?
  A: When you are sure the child is going to graduate. LOL Just kidding! About 3-4 weeks ahead of the ...
Bridal Shower Invitation-mother of bride3/17/2009
  Q: My sisters & I are giving a bridal shower for our nice (our brother's daughter). Our brother is ...
  A: Mother of the bride is invited to every shower, that's just the way it is. As a wedding planner, it ...
invitation etiquette3/17/2009
  Q: Many years ago when I got married, I had several people call me to tell me they never received their ...
  A: I guess that's why they call it BRUTAL honesty--which gracious, polite people avoid through the use ...
50th birthday3/11/2009
  Q: Is it bad etiquette to sell tickets to my husbands 50th birthday party. He has a lot of friends or ...
  A: I think it's a horrifying idea, and it is totally socially unacceptable for family members to do ...
bills payments3/11/2009
  Q: i was invited by one of my friends to celebrate her birthday to a restaurant that she chosen. as we ...
  A: Next time you stick to your original convictions and decline the invitation. There's nothing else ...
Work Party3/5/2009
  Q: Could you tell me if I am to organize a work party what would be the most reasonable venue and ...
  A: It depends on a lot of things. Are you having it catered to the office or going to a restaurant? ...
Bringing Fish to work3/5/2009
  Q: Is it offensive or improper to bring homecooked fish from home to the office and use the microwave ...
  A: No one is really right or wrong here, it's impolite to create offensive odors in a room shared by ...
RSVP question3/1/2009
  Q: We are planning our 50th anniversary celebration, with dinner and the potential for guests to come ...
  A: I just did the same thing for my in-laws 50th. I called a restaurant that I knew had a private room ...
hostess gifts2/24/2009
  Q: We want to have a gathering of friends and neighbors at our home but do not want people to feel they ...
  A: Properly raised people who have been schooled in manners and social graces will bring a hostess gift ...
baby showers2/23/2009
  Q: One of my daughters-in-law is still friends with one of my son's ex fiance who recently had a ...
  A: It was TOTALLY inapropriate for her to want to bring ANY baby to the shower--this is an adult ...
bridal shower2/23/2009
  Q: bride/groom live in a different state, but are getting married in my state(mom). due to travel, time ...
  A: You cannot host a bridal shower for your daughter, her friends are the ones to do that--it's totally ...
wedding gift2/17/2009
  Q: If you give a gift at a wedding shower do you give another gift at the wedding?
  A: If you are invited to both, you should gift for both occasions. Choose your gifts within your ...
50th Birthday Party2/16/2009
  Q: Is it proper to put a deceased parents name on a 50th birthday invitation???????
  A: No. It's absolutely incorrect unless you plan to have them at the party. This could get to be a bit ...
Who pays how much for a dinner bill?2/16/2009
  Q: Who pays how much for a dinner bill? I joined 2 friends at a pub; they are engaged to be married. ...
  A: That's a load of crap. You split the bill 4 ways and they each pay a share which makes them ...
My daughter's family graduation party2/12/2009
  Q: I've been divorced for 15 years. We have a daughter. Her dad (my ex) does not live here. He is ...
  A: I'm afraid that you may not like my answer but hear me out and you will see why it's the best thing ...
Wedding Invitation...2/11/2009
  Q: Hello and thank you for taking the time to look at my question! Ok, maybe I am just being overly ...
  A: I'm sure they meant no harm and were trying to save money on invites and postage because of the ...
double shower2/10/2009
  Q: My oldest daughter and I will be hosting a double shower for my nephew's fiance(Naomi)and my younger ...
  A: Here's the best one: Have your youngest daughter's maid of honor have the shower because that is the ...
Quick Question2/10/2009
  Q: Unfortunately, my brother has recently passed away. We have everything arrainged including ...
  A: The florist will deliver your flowers to the funeral home, it is not customary to bring them with ...
Addressing wedding invitations2/9/2009
  Q: I have one invitation that I don't know how to address. The husband is a judge and the wife retained ...
  A: Here's how they are addressed for social purposes such as weddings in cases like this: Mr. and Mrs. ...
Guest Contributions for friends party2/9/2009
  Q: I am attempting to plan a Spa Day Party at a private home for my girlfriends 50th birthday about 10 ...
  A: I'd do this at a real spa and invite those who can afford it. Keep in mind that if they book their ...
Wedding Gift Etiquette2/7/2009
  Q: I am a single 71-year-old uncle of a niece about to marry for the second time. I live in Florida, ...
  A: You have no gifting responsibility this time around. You might want to send her a card, but even ...
25th/50th Birthday2/2/2009
  Q: I am having a joint 25/50 birthday party for my daughter and my husband. I want a creative way to ...
  A: Come Join us as we celebrate John's 50th birthday and Tina's 25th in one big celebration for all! ...
"No gifts Please" ????2/1/2009
  Q: We are giving a 50th anniversary party for my parents. My parents are adamant that we request guests ...
  A: Your invitation store is wrong, it's perfectly fine to put "no gifts please" on the invitation, they ...
engagement before divorce1/31/2009
  Q: My boyfriend of almost a year has been seperated from his wife for more than 3 years. The divorce ...
  A: Yes, you do. You cannot become engaged to a married man. Don't worry about it, it will take a ...
second wedding for one, first for another1/30/2009
  Q: This will be my sons second wedding and his fiances first. Is it proper to give them a large ...
  A: It's her first wedding. Traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding and she's not the one ...
Homework Questions1/28/2009
  Q: Actually Mr. Newman, I'm a 25 year old professional and I was simply curious. Thank you for you ...
  A: I get a lot of homework questions from culinary students and not being psychic I have no way of ...
Church Bridal Showers1/27/2009
  Q: I am a pastors wife who organizes all bridal showers for first weddings of members of our church. ...
  A: First, the church should not be giving showers. They are properly given by friends of the ...
What to do for son's engagement?1/27/2009
  Q: As parents of our engaged son. What are we expected to do other than be happy for their choice? ...
  A: You can do a lot of things if you want to, but the nicest thing to do is to help them with the cost ...
Shower & Wedding Gifts1/26/2009
  Q: When a person receives a shower and wedding invitation are they supposed to give gifts for both ...
  A: You can feel free to divide your budget for the wedding gift into two gifts or give a nice shower ...
Should I attend my 14yr. old's step-mothers memorial/viewing?1/25/2009
  Q: My daughter is 14. She has been estranged from her father and step-mother for going on 3 years. ...
  A: Funerals are to give support and sympathy to the survivors. By all means you should attend with ...
Wedding invitation and computer etiquette1/23/2009
  Q: If you're given a wedding website by a relative of a couple to be married and the website invites ...
  A: Would you send me the website address so I can look at it? I'm not sure that you did anything wrong ...
Father's Birthday1/22/2009
  Q: My sister, brothers and I are have a 80th Birthday Breakfast for our father. What is the proper way ...
  A: You are all giving the party. If you are sending invites word them as follows: The Jones Kids are ...
broken engagement1/21/2009
  Q: My daughter and her fiance have broken off their engagement. They are both distraught as is to be ...
  A: Let it go for a month or so and see if they work it out between themselves. If they are both so ...
table seating1/20/2009
  Q: should spouses sit together at a party or gathering at a restaurant?or should they mingle with other ...
  A: Spouses are NEVER seated together at a party. The theory behind this is that if they wanted to sit ...
Proper Title1/19/2009
  Q: Proper title for a divorced single woman. Where does the stepmother fit in the wedding plans?
  A: While married she is Mrs. John Jones but after a divorce she would be Mrs. Jane Jones and if he ...
table manners1/19/2009
  Q: I have seen movies where men stand up when a lady leaves the table. They also stand when she returns ...
  A: The only way a gentleman is excused from standing when the lady gets up or returns to the table is ...
50th anniversary party1/16/2009
  Q: Children are hosting a dinner party for our parents 50th. We invited family only. should we offer to ...
  A: Offer to make reservations, but they should be planning to pay for their own hotel rooms since the ...
Seating at funeral of deceased wife's father1/15/2009
  Q: My husband is widowed since 2000 and remarried to me in 2006. His daughter, 14 is a product of the ...
  A: There is NO REASON for this to be an awkward situation, assuming that neither you nor your husband ...
business open house1/14/2009
  Q: Our attorney is having an open house to show off his new office. Should we bring a gift?
  A: You may if you want to, but it's voluntary. If you bring a gift, make it something edible--like a ...
private formal party1/14/2009
  Q: If there are leftover food and the caterer wants the guests to bring them home, is this disgusting, ...
  A: Why would it be disgusting? Did it go bad? You paid for it, you might as well get to eat it. I've ...
giving a group gift1/13/2009
  Q: I am in a samll sisterhood of 8 and one of us has had a baby girl! We were all so excited and ...
  A: Don't go off half-cocked. The new mom is on pain meds and is bonding with her new baby--I got my ...
greeting / talking from a car1/12/2009
  Q: my question is if a man drives past another man (neighbour) and stops for a chat (more than 15 min), ...
  A: They should definitely move their cars out of the street. There's no book reference as this is not a ...
Bridal Shower Etiquette1/10/2009
  Q: Is it okay to request money inlieu of gifts for a bridal shower? Here's the scenario, after the ...
  A: There are no words you can put on the invitation to politely say that the bride and groom to be, in ...
husband behaviour1/9/2009
  Q: i have been married for five years and blessed with children. Originating from the subcontinent but ...
  A: People do not change, they are what they are. You made a huge mistake in thinking you could change ...
paying for birthday party meal1/5/2009
  Q: We were just invited to my great-niece's third birthday party. The invitation says supper will be ...
  A: It's incredibly tacky. A party where you are expected to pay for your meals is correctly called a ...
Gifts and Thank You cards1/5/2009
  Q: recently got married and did not receive a gift (not even a card) from numerous people who attended ...
  A: People have up to one year to send a gift to the bride and groom of the wedding they attended, so ...
wedding1/5/2009
  Q: My husband's daughter is getting married for the first time.Her Dad assumed that he was going to be ...
  A: If she were indicating resentment, you wouldn't have been invited to the wedding at all. It's her ...
1st birthday party1/5/2009
  Q: How do i put in an invitation for cash gifts only?
  A: You don't. IT IS THE HEIGHT OF BAD MANNERS TO ASK FOR CASH GIFTS. Anyone who asks for cash gifts in ...
Washing Dishes while entertaining...1/2/2009
  Q: I had always been taught that while entertaining not to involve guests in the chore of washing ...
  A: Dinner guests are NEVER allowed to help with the dishes. Large family functions on holidays are not ...
Getting to know my sister's fiance1/1/2009
  Q: I live and work in NYC. My family lives on the West Coast. They have been to see my in the past ...
  A: Why don't you start with a card? A "Congratulations" card would be a nice icebreaker and send your ...
baptism12/31/2008
  Q: Is it considered the godparents duty to buy the christening clothing for the baby? I have been told ...
  A: No, it isn't. Your mother-in-law is incorrect. The godparents usually buy a sterling silver (or ...
etiquette at a dinner party12/28/2008
  Q: if i am at a dinner party would it be okay to ask the hostess if i could take a plate of the food ...
  A: NO!! Absolutely NOT!! It's not like your family Christmas dinner where your Mom is making you a ...
Gift response12/23/2008
  Q: We just received a box of Omaha Steaks from someone who works for me. Unfortunately, we don't eat ...
  A: You should return the box of steaks to him and tell him you are vegetarians. Omaha Steaks are ...
Acknowledging an ex-sister-in-law12/23/2008
  Q: My brother and his ex went through a nasty divorce. They live away from us. She has returned and is ...
  A: There's no real social rule except to honor his wishes in this matter and stay out of the situation ...
Wedding Gift from Father to Mother12/22/2008
  Q: Is there a tradition of my father giving my mother a gift for my wedding. I was thinking that the ...
  A: Your parents give YOU a wedding gift--and your future husband if they want to be generous. It's ...
Dinner guest manners12/21/2008
  Q: Is it impolite for dinner guests to question what the hostess is planning to serve for dinner?
  A: Yes it is, as it implies that if the dish is not to your liking, you will not be attending. Proper ...
NEW BOYFRIEND AT DECEASED HUSBANDS FAMILY DINNER.12/19/2008
  Q: MY BROTHER PASSED AWAY JUST OVER A YEAR AGO. WITHIN 6 MOS OF HIS PASSING HIS WIDOW WAS DATING. MY ...
  A: It's kind of a grey area. I don't think it's appropriate for her to date after 6 months, but my ...
Group Vacation Expenses12/18/2008
  Q: Two couples invited my husband and I to spend the holidays together in another city. They live in ...
  A: Just because they got a better price on airline tickets doesn't mean they should have to pay a ...
etiquette12/17/2008
  Q: It's a sticky situation. A female friend of my mom is spending Christmas at our house with all the ...
  A: Not a problem. You tell them how delighted you are to have them staying with you and that you wish ...
ettiquette12/16/2008
  Q: In our family, when we have gatherings such as Thanksgiving or Christmas, it is custom for everybody ...
  A: Not at all. Here's how you shame her into it. At the family dinner this year, you stand up and ...
Ballet12/16/2008
  Q: My new girlfriend is performing in a ballet, soon. Should I bring her flowers? Is there a "Ballet ...
  A: You can bring flowers if you like, but she'd probably prefer a foot massage! Dress in a suit/tie and ...
Writing something that includes a man and his deceased wife.12/15/2008
  Q: I am writing an inscription on a plaque and would like to write the dedication to John and Jane Doe. ...
  A: You don't mention she is deceased in the inscription--she wasn't dead when she did the things you ...
christmas gifts for new nephew in law12/14/2008
  Q: I have always given my nieces and nephews money for christmas. My niece married this fall. What ...
  A: They are way too old to be expecting a Christmas gift. The wedding gift is the last gift, after ...
whose parents invite first?12/13/2008
  Q: our 18-year old daughter and a boy from her Bible study group have been courting for five months ...
  A: You do NOTHING. Until they inform you that their relationship has changed to an engagement, you do ...
Invitation etiquette12/13/2008
  Q: We are preparing our invite list for a Bar Mitzvah. Our son has some friends whose parents we would ...
  A: You invite the people you wish to have attend, but if you are inviting both children and parents of ...
Buying gifts for new step sister & her family?12/8/2008
  Q: My mother-in-law remarried about 5 yrs. ago. Her new husband has a daughter who has 4 kids, ages 2, ...
  A: I would not buy any gifts because it's not necessary and it's ridiculous to buy all these presents ...
social hello/goodby12/8/2008
  Q: .no different than a casual kiss on the cheek ? let me explain while attending a social function ...
  A: Your fiance may have some issues Roger and you need to use this situation as a warning bell as to ...
Stepdaughter's boyfriend - Gift12/4/2008
  Q: my stepdaughter is living with her boyfriend about 7 hours away and her father and i have only met ...
  A: You should have SOMETHING for him, but you don't have to spend a lot of money on him--a bottle of ...
Baby Shower & Family12/4/2008
  Q: My lovely daughter-in-law and my son are having their 2nd child - our first grand-daughter in ...
  A: Well it's your first so have a shower and enjoy it. It's your party and don't bother to invite your ...
Brothers fourth wedding12/2/2008
  Q: My brother is getting married for the fourth time. This is her third. They have a beautiful home, ...
  A: The social rule is that if you attend the wedding RECEPTION, then you are on the hook for a gift. ...
Couple and cousin to split a condo/car expendses on vacation12/1/2008
  Q: We are going to a wedding this April. I have reserved a condo for three days following the wedding ...
  A: She will probably bring a date, so make it a 50-50 split on everything, that way if she brings a ...
graduation announcement11/30/2008
  Q: I received an announcement of a college graduation. Do I reaspond with a thank you , is a gift ...
  A: No gift is required, and no action is really required either. It's simply an announcement sent by ...
Ettiquette: Introduction Protocols11/29/2008
  Q: I am coordinating a conference in a week. At the last minute several dignitaries have been invited ...
  A: Since they are all about the same rank socially speaking, you should go by age. Younger people are ...
Open House Gift Opening Etiquette11/29/2008
  Q: I am hosting an Meet and Greet Open House for my cousin and her husband who recently adopted a child ...
  A: It kind of depends on the gift flow--if she greets her guests and is buried in gifts, then they ...
tardy thank you notes11/28/2008
  Q: My son has yet to send thank you notes for graduation gifts received five months ago. How should ...
  A: He isn't going to write them. If he were going to write them, he would have done so already, and ...
College graduation announcements11/26/2008
  Q: I am graduating from college next month but I have a dilemma. I would like to share this special ...
  A: Why don't you just have a little party at your place afterwards where you can show the video of you ...
xmas invitations11/24/2008
  Q: What is the time period that Xmas invitations should be sent out to your guests? Is it 2 or 3 ...
  A: I would send them NOW as it's a very busy time of year. You should mail them NO LATER than three ...
graduation invitation11/24/2008
  Q: My mom is graduating from college (she's 45) and my dad our family would like to give her a surprise ...
  A: It's not an invitation to a party and they are not "guests" if they have to pay for their own food. ...
questions11/22/2008
  Q: My daughter's husband felt it was rude that my daughter did not return a phone to his brother, ...
  A: It's nice to acknowledge a phone call wishing one a happy birthday, but it's not life and death. The ...
Holiday Hosting11/20/2008
  Q: My sister always hosts our "out of town" immediate family members when they come and stay for the ...
  A: Your sister is not a hostess, she is a frustrated innkeeper. If one cannot afford the bill, then ...
Wedding Bulletin11/19/2008
  Q: In our wedding bulletin we are listing our married children with the grandchildrens name. Which of ...
  A: Steve and Laurie Jones (nee Smith) Jacob and Daniel Jones The Maid of Honor's escort doesn't ...
Relatives that send cards11/17/2008
  Q: I have a very annoying aunt who is always looking for a fight. We don't talk except on holidays ...
  A: We must be related, I have the same aunt and she's a royal pain! The best advice I can offer is just ...
splitting a check with other couples11/16/2008
  Q: My boyfriend and I don't eat seafood/steaks/etc. high end dinners on a menu. We don't drink, ...
  A: Ask nicely for the waiter to give you a separate check and they usually will. Once in a great while ...
meeting potential inlaws11/15/2008
  Q: My daughter has been living with her boyfriend for two years. She has suggested that my husband ...
  A: Tell your daughter to invite them. This puts the onus on her for waiting FAR too long to extend the ...
Restaurant opening11/15/2008
  Q: A new restaurant is being opened near our home by an acquaintance whom we know from other ...
  A: It's a commercial business occasion, not a social one so no gift is required or expected. You ...
Addressing Sympathy Card11/13/2008
  Q: Does one address a sympathy card to Mr. and Mrs.Smith if one of his parent passes? Or, does one ...
  A: Proper social behavior dictates that we behave as if all members of the family adore all other ...
invitation open house11/12/2008
  Q: I am hosting a baby shower for my sister-in-law. It is going to be held on December 20th. Because ...
  A: I'm also in Illinois, pack warm clothes!! Don't do the open house and send out invitations as soon ...
Married Name Salutation11/10/2008
  Q: I learned to never separate the patron from his last name; As in 'Michelle and Ken Burke' vs. 'Ken ...
  A: No, you aren't wrong, but people have gotten very informal and it's gotten to the point where either ...
Home parties to buy purses, candles, home goods, etc..11/5/2008
  Q: How do I gracefully decline an invitation to a "home party" (I am enticed into buying stuff so the ...
  A: You send her a note that reads: I'm so sorry but my circumstances dictate that I must decline your ...
Restaurant Dinner Invite11/4/2008
  Q: What is the proper way of telling invitees they have to pay for their food & beverages on an ...
  A: There isn't one. You are not inviting them as guests, you are obligating them to the expense under ...
xmas gifts for blended families11/3/2008
  Q: my husband and I have a blended family. He has married adult son with 3 children, one unmarried ...
  A: The solution is simple. Christmas is for children so stop giving gifts to anyone who is out on their ...
Flowers11/1/2008
  Q: I am attending a black tie charity ball which I was asked, by a woman, to be her attendant. I am ...
  A: Your best bet if you are interested in this woman is to bring her a corsage to wear at the event ...
engagement party gift11/1/2008
  Q: Is a gift required for an engagement party? What is an appropriate gift?
  A: You don't have to buy an engagement gift if you don't go to the party. Engagement parties are ...
regifting10/30/2008
  Q: Last Christmas my parents received a pizza maker from my Grandparents. Later I found out that they ...
  A: It's the thought that counts as they say. Accept it graciously and give it to someone else who ...
engagement announcement10/29/2008
  Q: Lets just say that my first cousin knows that I am engaged. Should my first cousin call me to ...
  A: I suppose it would depend on how close you are to your first cousin. I have a first cousin I never ...
Hosting a party and who's responsible10/29/2008
  Q: My sister in law decided to have a Halloween party, never asked if I would take a thing, even after ...
  A: You were wrong. Planning a party is a time-consuming thing and when asked to bring a side dish, a ...
relational etiquette about buying gifts10/27/2008
  Q: My husband and I just got into a fight about this but we wanted to buy a birthday gift for a friend. ...
  A: Well Cynthia actually you are not asking your other friend to BUY the present, you are only ...
Invitation manners10/26/2008
  Q: My husband and I have a relative we do not care to socialize with. The rest of the family knows ...
  A: I understand your position and I feel for you. You cannot ask your host or hostess who else they're ...
ball10/25/2008
  Q: my daughter received an invitation with a card inside that says "you have been dated with" and then ...
  A: It means if they have paired her up with an escort for the evening, which is of course the young man ...
how to cancel an event10/24/2008
  Q: Our corporation needs to cancel an annual holiday event this year. Save the date cards went out a ...
  A: The correct form would read as follows: We regret to inform you that our holiday event has been ...
thank you notes10/24/2008
  Q: My husband had just passed & I have received some potted plants,floral arrangements & some money in ...
  A: I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband Karen, please accept my heartfelt condolences. When you ...
Prospective male boss insisting a married woman have dinner with him while traveling and etiquette?10/24/2008
  Q: We just started a small business. So traveling would most likely come into the picture and we both ...
  A: If her prospective boss is insisting she has dinner with him every night as a condition of her ...
University Invitations10/24/2008
  Q: I am the new first lady of a university and will be sending out a couple of thousand invitations for ...
  A: It is equally proper to engrave: "The Favour of a Reply is Requested by __________" which has always ...
50th Birthday10/23/2008
  Q: My husband wants to plan his own 50th birthday party. He wants to invite many guests to a dinner at ...
  A: You're absolutely correct, if you cannot afford to pay for your guests you should not have to get ...
family invitation to dinner10/22/2008
  Q: Last weekend my wife, son, and I were invited to my brothers house for dinner. My wife does not eat ...
  A: Usually, one must go to a bowling alley to meet a woman of your sister-in-law's calibre! Your sister ...
My Husband's Ex-Spouse Invited to His Brother's Wedding10/21/2008
  Q: My husband and I will be attending the out of town wedding of my husband's younger brother. I ...
  A: I get this question a lot. The bride is not required to consult with anyone before extending an ...
"Hats Off"10/21/2008
  Q: I facilitate group counseling sessions with chemically dependent individuals who are unfortunately ...
  A: Charles you are incorrect. It is your counseling session and "because I said so" is a perfectly ...
Dinner gift10/20/2008
  Q: My husband and I are going to have dinner at his boss's house. It is not truly formal, but it's not ...
  A: Your best bet would be to take a nice bottle of wine, but don't expect your host to serve it at the ...
50th anniversary Party10/20/2008
  Q: Is it okay to sell tickets to an anniversary party? I am not able to afford to pay for the whole ...
  A: Absolutely not! You cannot sell tickets to an anniversary party to defray the cost, that would be ...
Grad Student Party10/19/2008
  Q: Is it appropriate to host a reception for son or other family member who is completing/graduating ...
  A: Your husband is correct, it's not appropriate to do this after High School. It is viewed as gift ...
funeral etiquette10/19/2008
  Q: Unfortunately, of course, a "5 year plus" family acquaintance's Male Head of Household, Father, ...
  A: I'm sorry but I am very confused. Why in the world would you give money at a funeral? It's not a ...
what to take to a celebration of life?10/18/2008
  Q: I am going to a celebration of life ceremony for a good friend's mother who recently passed away. ...
  A: Take a cake or cookies. Sweets are always welcome at these things and leftover cake can be frozen ...
Nametags10/17/2008
  Q: what side are you suppose to wear nametags?
  A: It doesn't really matter as nametags should never be used in a social gathering. If you are using ...
seating mother of groom10/15/2008
  Q: The wedding has three female attendants and thre male attendants. It will be on beach with chairs. ...
  A: Every wedding is different. In the traditional wedding the mother of the bride is the last to be ...
anniversary congratulations10/14/2008
  Q: A female friend announced to me in a private conversation that today is her second wedding ...
  A: She's incorrect. At the WEDDING, the groom is told Congratulations and the bride is told "Best ...
etiquette on weekend guests10/9/2008
  Q: This summer I hosted a weekend guest at a family beach condo. The guest was gracious and brought a ...
  A: When you are a houseguest, you should bring a small gift, be helpful around the house, pick up after ...
Meeting a couple for the first time face to face.10/9/2008
  Q: I am 23 years old, and I will be going to visit a couple that I've met on the internet (socially). ...
  A: Take them out to a meal on you since they are spending their time (presumably) showing you around ...
Baptism reception10/8/2008
  Q: We would like to have guests go to a restaurant after the baptism for lunch but are unable to pay ...
  A: There's no way to offer hospitality via an invitation to go to a restaurant and then bill your ...
Speaker ettiquette10/7/2008
  Q: Twice in the last several years I have attended events associated with adult alumni at which a ...
  A: You get up and quietly walk out along with everyone else who is offended. You also write a review ...
Announcing Visit10/4/2008
  Q: Recently I got into an argument with my husband regarding relatives coming to visit us. I like to ...
  A: Well, he should ask you if it's OK with you before he tells them to come on down, but there's no ...
Parents anniversary / birthday party10/4/2008
  Q: My parents are celebrating a couple of big milestones this year. They are celebrating their 40th ...
  A: Call it a "Triple Celebration!" on the front page and word like this: Our parents are both turning ...
Who pays for who?9/27/2008
  Q: I have asked a couple of different people to be my guest or date for the night. But my question is, ...
  A: One gift from you will suffice, your date is considered to be your guest and as so is not required ...
House guests9/26/2008
  Q: If my parents are coming to stay overnight while my husband and I are away on business, should we ...
  A: It's up to you, but most people would expect to be put up in the guest room, not the Master Bedroom. ...
wedding invitation9/26/2008
  Q: Is there a better way to word & line the following: Mr. & Mrs. James Moore (bride's father & ...
  A: WOW! This is a doozy! LOL OK here we go--and this is the CORRECT way to word this. Mr. & Mrs. ...
fashion etiquette9/24/2008
  Q: What do you wear to a 20th class reunion when the dress code states "no dress code." It will be ...
  A: You can wear anything you want to. I'd wear something that will make the guy I had a crush on sit ...
baby showers9/21/2008
  Q: Is it proper to have a baby shower when you're having your 3rd child?
  A: A baby shower is usually for the FIRST baby only, since the subsequent babies can have the ...
50th wedding anniversary9/21/2008
  Q: My parents are celebrating 50 years of marriage on 11/11/08. I am hosting a party for them on ...
  A: You don't need to use a date at all. Just do the the 50 year theme, it's what everyone does. All ...
etiquette in clothing9/20/2008
  Q: regards Denise
  A: Here are the traditional rules: A black dress is never appropriate to wear to a wedding. A white ...
50th Birthday Party9/18/2008
  Q: I am giving myself a 50th birthday party. What would be the correct wording for the invitation? And ...
  A: Gifts are never ever mentioned in an invitation unless you are declining all gifts. The wording ...
Proper Dress9/18/2008
  Q: I am attending my grandson's first college football game. He attends a private college and I want ...
  A: Football is football no matter how fancy the school. Dress for the weather as it can be quite ...
Boss' wedding9/17/2008
  Q: My female boss is getting married and because it will be her second marriage, they are asking for ...
  A: It is incredibly tacky to ask for cash as a wedding gift. In polite society it is simply NOT done, ...
Funeral Thank You Cards9/14/2008
  Q: Is it proper to send thank you cards out to people who have attended a funeral of your loved one. ...
  A: You send thank you cards to the people who sent flowers (or made donations to a charity in your ...
dining out9/11/2008
  Q: We are going out for dinner with 4 other couples. Some are very heavy drinkers, while others are ...
  A: IF the establishment won't give you separate checks for each couple, then all you need to do is ...
Return Address Labels/Card signatures9/9/2008
  Q: We were once told by the Chgo Public Library,that the mans' first name should never be separated ...
  A: There is no proper use of first names in this situation. It is ALWAYS Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. In ...
Informal use of First Names? Which name is listed first?9/9/2008
  Q: Jill and John Smith or John and Jill Smith I have always thought that the rule was never ...
  A: There is no proper use of first names in this situation. It is ALWAYS Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. In ...
Dinner guests ordering at at restaurant9/8/2008
  Q: If you are a guest at a restaurant, is it inappropriate to discuss the specials and appetizers ...
  A: Restaurant entertaining is a new thing, it's for people who aren't sure enough of their social ...
gift for a new author9/3/2008
  Q: I have a male friend who is having a book release party for his first published book. Do I get him ...
  A: You don't have to get him a gift, but do buy a copy of the book and ask him to sign it--he will be ...
widow9/3/2008
  Q: my girlfriend of 7 months has been widowed for over two years. she only was married for 10 days and ...
  A: Tragically for everyone, she was widowed while she was still in the full-fledged stars-in-her-eyes ...
1st Birthday9/2/2008
  Q: I would like to celebrate my daughter's first birthday and my Mother suggested the family have ...
  A: You word it like this: Please come celebrate Angel's first birthday and the Restaurant Name. We are ...
daughter-in-law's social etiquette9/1/2008
  Q: My son will be married on September 12, 2008. His fiance has no manners, no social graces, no ...
  A: you cannot do anything as you are not her mother and are not responsible for her upbringing. To try ...
Sympathy cards8/31/2008
  Q: My father-in-law passed away yesterday. Am I suppose to send my husband's siblings sympathy cards? ...
  A: Sympathy cards are really for people who aren't related, you as a family member will be attending ...
Political Dinner8/31/2008
  Q: I am hosting a political dinner/fundraiser. I will have the Chair of the state party, A state ...
  A: Everyone should get some sort of certificate of appreciation. The sitting Senator speaks before the ...
Wedding & Baby Shower Invitations8/30/2008
  Q: I was not invited to a co-worker's 1st daughter's wedding, but was invited to her baby shower. I ...
  A: It's impossible to invite everyone to a wedding with the cost per head running $60-90 per person ...
Party Invitation Etiquette8/29/2008
  Q: How do I word a party invitation to make it clear this invitation is for the receipient only and you ...
  A: It is socially improper to invite a single person and not allow a date unless you have someone for ...
Opening gifts at a "no gifts please" Party8/28/2008
  Q: My husband and I are having a party for about 80 guests next weekend. The occasion is our Milestone ...
  A: Open them privately with the person who gave it to you if you can--when they hand it to you, you can ...
Brothers Wedding8/28/2008
  Q: My brother is getting married in a week or so and he is having the wedding at my parents house. I ...
  A: Colin, As a wedding planner I know that people are cutting as many corners as they can during these ...
Visiting son and his family8/27/2008
  Q: Am I unreasonable in expecting to be offered meals while visiting the family? When they come visit ...
  A: Asians are very much a fend-for-yourself culture and have no idea of hospitality except for the ...
Newspaper Engagement annoucement8/27/2008
  Q: I am getting married in October and have a question about using an honorific for my engagement ...
  A: Absolutely, however your your mother is NOT Mrs. Ruth Wise unless your parents are divorced. If ...
Son's wedding8/27/2008
  Q: My son is in the military and married his fiancee quickly by a judge so the military could process ...
  A: Since they are going to be having a 'remarriage' ceremony they can have it whenever they ...
Etiquette for bridal showers8/26/2008
  Q: I just had 2 bridal showers this past weekend and one of them was given by 4 of my bridesmaids and 2 ...
  A: Yes, it is. Brides often forget just how expensive a wedding can be for their bridesmaids. They ...
Bat Mitzvah invitation - obligation to send gift?8/25/2008
  Q: My friend received an invitation from a co-worker (that she does not directly work for or with) for ...
  A: Her husband is absolutely correct. If you are not attending a wedding or bat mitzvah then no gift ...
wedding dinner "going dutch"8/25/2008
  Q: getting married..going to court house and planning to go to restaurant to celebrate but need to word ...
  A: What you should do is arrange a special dinner at a special price at the restaurant and then add ...
hats8/25/2008
  Q: I am going to a wedding in June 09 and it is in a garden at 5 PM in the Washington DC area. I would ...
  A: It really depends on the hat. Ladies are not required to remove their hats when going inside during ...
Bridal tea vs bridal tea shower8/25/2008
  Q: I have been taught that a Bridal Tea is a "come and go" during a given time frame without bringing ...
  A: You are techincally correct, but there are so many different mannerisms and customs these days that ...
Telephone etiquette8/24/2008
  Q: Whenever my adult son calls the first thing he always says is "What are you doing?" It seems to me ...
  A: You might want to read some of the heartbreaking letters I get from women who NEVER hear from their ...
Gift card as thank you to relative8/24/2008
  Q: On two different occasions when I have entertained a fairly close relative (a cousin 10 years ...
  A: Take it in tne spirit in which is is intended--as a big thank you. She has no idea what to get you ...
50th Wedding Anniversary Gifts8/18/2008
  Q: My parents are having a dinner party for their 50th. Are they to assume that the guests will bring ...
  A: It is assumed by polite people that guest are being invited to an event for the pleasure of their ...
50th Wedding Anniversary8/13/2008
  Q: My mother is planning her 50th wedding anniversary dinner party. She has asked me to put a cute ...
  A: Here's the exact rule: One never asks or expects ANY kind of gift and when one is received it is ...
party invitations8/13/2008
  Q: I am planning an event where the guest list is composed of many physicians. In addressing the ...
  A: The very safest way to do this would be in the "and guest" format, such as Dr. Jane Jones and Guest. ...
An uninvited guest8/11/2008
  Q: My husband recently had a birthday. I had invited some friends to meet us at a local ...
  A: In order to prevent this from happening again, do not have parties in a public venue--or if you do, ...
blowing nose8/10/2008
  Q: Are you supposed to blow your nose in public like church , and other functions or should you leave ...
  A: You should try to do it quietly and as discreetly as possible, but you don't have to leave the room. ...
to give a Hostess gift?8/8/2008
  Q: I'm invited to a company picnic...all employees & their families are invited. This is a new boss, ...
  A: No hostess gift is required as it is not a social occasion. If you are invited in the future as a ...
Thank you cards8/8/2008
  Q: We took in a lost elderly cat the other day that we found in our yard. We called the newspaper the ...
  A: No, you don't need to do anything unless you feel like it, it's not necessary. They wanted to thank ...
house guest and paying the tab8/6/2008
  Q: my good friend from college (10 years past) is visiting my husband and I this week from the opposite ...
  A: You are kind of stuck because you have let it go this long. Your choice is wait for them to offer ...
How to properly address an invitation8/5/2008
  Q: I am in the process of sending out invitations for my Dad's 60th surprise party, however, I am ...
  A: A couple that cohabitates but you are unaware of one partner's last name. Address it with the ...
Babies8/3/2008
  Q: I was wanting to know the right way to put a birth in the paper for our second child, because I ...
  A: There is no way to go about doing this that I am aware of, as usually only live siblings are ...
Engagement annoucement8/1/2008
  Q: What is the proper wording for an announcement when the brides mother is deceased and the father ...
  A: Mr. and Mrs. John Q. Doe have the honour of announcing the engagement of his daughter, Mary Jane to ...
Wedding Gift Ettiquette7/29/2008
  Q: I went to the engagement party w/ gift. i can not go to the bridal shower or the wedding, which i ...
  A: You are only required to take a gift to an event that you actually ATTEND, not merely received an ...
splitting costs of a trip7/29/2008
  Q: Recently, my daughter attended an out of town youth convention with another family. I could not ...
  A: If your daughter shared the room with 5 other girls then 1/6th of the hotel room is absolutely fair, ...
Visiting relatives7/28/2008
  Q: Teri, Considering vacations are usually only a limited time, with numerous relatives to visit, do ...
  A: Actually, it's what I must do in order to visit with everyone when I go to Florida to see family and ...
Proper wording on invitation for a meal7/21/2008
  Q: I am organizing a gathering for a meal at a restaurant, but will not be paying for everyone's meal. ...
  A: If you are not paying for the meal, then it is not an invitation, it is an announcement. You word ...
Out of town Family Visitors7/20/2008
  Q: As working retiree, with a sick wife, our daughter has appointed us to take her female cousin,[our ...
  A: You tell your daughter in no uncertain terms that you regret that you are unable to have houseguests ...
RSVP question7/20/2008
  Q: Two different events are coming up the first of August. I RSVPd affirmatively to both that my ...
  A: You can ask and base it on the fact that you didn't know that your dad would be visiting at the time ...
WEDDING GIFT ETIQUETTE7/16/2008
  Q: A FRIEND ASKED ME AT WORK IF I KNEW THE PROPER ETIQUETTE FOR RETURNING WEDDING GIFTS AFTER A FAILED ...
  A: The only way wedding gift MUST be returned is if the wedding DOES NOT TAKE PLACE. No matter whether ...
addressing an envelope7/16/2008
  Q: I need to send a note to my minister and her husband.She is usually addressed as Reverend .How do I ...
  A: Oh no!! In the event of a tragedy such as this, job titles are superceded by the gravity of the ...
Sweet Sixteen Cancellation7/15/2008
  Q: My niece sweet sixteen 'save the date' have been sent out but her behavior is out of control with ...
  A: You send out postcards that say: "Due to circumstances beyond our control, the invitations to the ...
Office conversation7/14/2008
  Q: My work space is in a semiprivate area, however people using a color copier or dropping off mail ...
  A: If they don't speak to you, you are under no obligation to chat them up every time they come through ...
Inviting Yourself7/11/2008
  Q: Is it considered rude to invite yourself to something in the US? Is it correct to assume that if ...
  A: While it is rude to invite youself to something, not being SPECIFICALLY invited to something doesn't ...
Engagement party7/9/2008
  Q: I have been invited to my FIRST engagement announcement party from 5-8 at a private home...at 66 ...
  A: Go to the party, take a card if you like. If you attend the wedding then of course you take a nice ...
greeting7/8/2008
  Q: My son-in-law feels that my grand kids should speak to him first when he enters the room. I thought ...
  A: How old are these children? Teenagers are notorious for not noticing anything!! As a rule of ...
Wedding gifts7/7/2008
  Q: If I attend and give a gift at a bridal shower, should I take another gift to the wedding?
  A: You take a gift to each event that you attend. Obviously you would shop according to your budget as ...
unexpected house guests7/4/2008
  Q: My brother in law recently showed up on our doorstep at 5 a.m. with his buddy completely ...
  A: They owe you a big fat apology. They were told you couldn't host them and they showed up in the ...
friendship and pregnancy7/1/2008
  Q: I have been trying to conceive for a few years and am finally pregnant! A good friend of 15 years ...
  A: If she wants a baby very badly which is probably the case, it has to be unbearable for her to see ...
funeral7/1/2008
  Q: I need immediate help with this one!! The father of a friend of both my girlfriend and myself from ...
  A: If their divorce is a non-contentious one, then you should go. If it is likely to disrupt the ...
Rehearsal Dinner in a Divorced Family7/1/2008
  Q: My son is getting married in September. His mother and I are divorced and I have remarried. Which of ...
  A: Theoretically both you and your ex-wife should split the bill for the rehearsal dinner, but that's ...
Which side is the man6/27/2008
  Q: Which side of the woman should a man stand and/or walk? I was always told that the man should stand ...
  A: On the street, the man should always be next to the traffic, anywhere else he should be on her ...
Who pays?6/27/2008
  Q: If you invite someone to visit while they are in the area, who is suppose to pay when you go out to ...
  A: If you are a houseguest for under a week, you should take your hosts out to dinner at a nice place ...
Family Tree6/27/2008
  Q: I have an etiquette question i wonder if you could help with. My husband and I have been happily ...
  A: Well, yes and no. Her fiancee wasn't in it either, so it wasn't a slight against you alone. It ...
Wording on an Invitation6/26/2008
  Q: I work for a city school system and one of our board members is retiring after twenty years of ...
  A: The invitation should be worded as follows: The Board of Education of Anyplace requests the ...
sweet 166/26/2008
  Q: I am throwing my daughter a party for her Sweet 16. I am happy to do it, and have been looking ...
  A: I understand how difficult ex-in-laws can be, but this is a party for your daughter, it's not about ...
Vacation rental thank-you notes?6/25/2008
  Q: My significant other has two older siblings who are both well-established in their careers and ...
  A: Send very NICE thank-you notes and if you can afford a small gift that would be nice too. Even ...
Hosting a party6/25/2008
  Q: A group of old friends are getting together with husbands and kids. One friend offered to "host" the ...
  A: Well, let us look at what is involved with hosting. First, the house must be cleaned top to bottom. ...
Cancelling Party Invitation?6/23/2008
  Q: Please let me know if it would be appropriate to fail to attend a charity party I have already paid ...
  A: It's up to you whether or not you go to the party. You have paid a lot of money to attend but if it ...
Drinking from bottle of soda6/23/2008
  Q: What is the proper way to drink from a bottle of beer or soda. Is it acceptable to to put both lips ...
  A: The proper and polite way is to pour it into a glass. However if you don't have one, then any way ...
Who Pays for Dinner ?6/22/2008
  Q: We were recently overnight guests at a good friend's house. They had just experienced an overload of ...
  A: When I am a guest at someone's home, I always take them out for a nice dinner. You can split the ...
Being an extended summer guest6/22/2008
  Q: I am attending a four week theatre workshop at a college out of state. The school's student housing ...
  A: Something yummy to eat that they wouldn't normally buy for themselves is always a great gift--luxury ...
No invitation/response6/21/2008
  Q: My husband and I were not invited to my brothers retirement party, even though I had asked several ...
  A: I would wait until you see your brother and give him his retirement gift and then I think I would ...
long term house guests6/21/2008
  Q: I have been searching about the etiquette of long term house guests. My daughter-in-law, son-in-law, ...
  A: Guests over one week become family members that are expected to contribute to the household. If you ...
out of town baby shower6/21/2008
  Q: My sister is having a baby, & she, her family & I moved away from home about 2 years ago. Since ...
  A: Unfortunately, you will have to take what you are given. A lot of people give gift cards these days ...
Breaking a wedding engagement6/20/2008
  Q: I postponed a wedding (a few weeks before the date) to reevaluate our relationship. Now I am ...
  A: Yes. You broke the engagement so you are responsible for the costs incurred and you must also ...
etiquette for celebration of life6/19/2008
  Q: A former co-worker passed away in April. His wife is having a celebration of life at their home in ...
  A: A celebration of life is basically the same as a wake except much later. There will probably be an ...
sympathy cards6/19/2008
  Q: What is the etiquette in regards to my husband writing a sympathy card to his mother on the passing ...
  A: Sympathy cards are what people outside of the family send to you, not what grieving relatives send ...
anniversary announcements6/19/2008
  Q: When attending an anniversary party and the anniversary announcement states "The couple requests no ...
  A: It means that they don't want gifts, only the pleasure of your company. After the party you should ...
50th wedding anniversary party inivations6/19/2008
  Q: The party is 4/25/09 when is appropriate to send out save the date and when should the actual ...
  A: Karen, how lovely of you to take this on! You can send the save the date cards any time now as the ...
greeting more than one person6/17/2008
  Q: If you see an acquaintance and they are with someone (who may be their boyfriend or girlfriend), is ...
  A: It is the obligation of the person you know to introduce you to the person they are with, if they do ...
Wedding Thank You Note6/17/2008
  Q: I have a friend whose roommate was getting married and the hotel fell through for thier honeymoon. I ...
  A: She was wrong not to send you a lovely thank you note as well as your pictures. I would drop her a ...
Etiquette expected of long term guests6/17/2008
  Q: My wife's parents have come to visit us at 4-5 weeks at a time. They are from the Philippines. Her ...
  A: You stop having them as guests. You tell your wife plain and simple what you have just told me. ...
high school grad cash gift6/17/2008
  Q: Our nephew just graduated from high school and comes from very wealthy doctor father. We are NOT in ...
  A: You cannot afford to be generous when you are living paycheck to paycheck. Chances are nothing you ...
recognizing a birthday at our wedding.6/16/2008
  Q: My future monther-in-law sent me an e-mail stating that she would like to try and bring a small ...
  A: It's not appropriate at all. The wedding is a WEDDING, not a birthday party. If your future MIL ...
Greetings and Thank yous6/16/2008
  Q: I actually have two questions. 1) If my son's girlfriend walks into my home (my son has let her in) ...
  A: Your son's girlfriend is ill-bred and unpardonably rude. It is unbelievably uncouth not to greet ...
75th Birthday6/13/2008
  Q: Times are really tight for people right now. But we wanted to take my mother-in-law to a restaurant ...
  A: If you have not already issued the invitations, see if you can get a group rate from the restaurant ...
Engagement gift6/13/2008
  Q: Our daughter is unaware that she will be proposed to in August and I'm bursting with excitement for ...
  A: There's no traditional engagement gift from the parents to the bride since they usually pay for a ...
Graduation announcement responsibility6/13/2008
  Q: My daughter (Brie) recently graduated from college. My ex-husband and I split the cost of a package ...
  A: It doesn't matter who the announcement comes from. He's using a very lame and incorrect excuse. ...
Timeline for High School Graduation Gifts6/11/2008
  Q: My stepbrother's son graduated from high school 1 1/2 weeks ago. We were sent an announcement and ...
  A: Your step-sister-in-law is a low class harridan. First, NO ONE is obligated to send a graduation ...
gigantic baby shower mishap6/11/2008
  Q: I am a graduate student and a friend from school and his wife are having a baby. Knowing that they ...
  A: You can tell them you don't have enough room for that many people in your home and ask them to trim ...
What to write on a graduation card6/11/2008
  Q: Teri, My daughter's boyfriend of one year is graduating from college. They are in a very serious ...
  A: You give him a card that says: "Congratulations on your graduation and we both wish you all the best ...
lunch etiquette6/11/2008
  Q: I met a friend for lunch and we had agreed to meet after her appointment. I told her I'd try to get ...
  A: It's extremely rude not to wait for your dining companion (unless she is diabetic and MUST eat ...
Husband's graduation ceremony from fire academy6/10/2008
  Q: My husband is graduating from the fire academy in 4 weeks. I will be pinning his fire fighter badge ...
  A: Wear a pretty summer dress with nylons, your hair done up nicely and comfy shoes. The proper look ...
Parents 50th Wedding Anniversary6/10/2008
  Q: My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary on July 1st. My mother is in a ...
  A: Have a family dinner to celebrate--take your dad out to dinner at a nice place and ask if possibly ...
collage graduation gift6/10/2008
  Q: My nephew is graduating from a University with a BA in Marketing. What would be appropriate for me ...
  A: Send him a card if you feel like it. There's no gift obligation for a distant relative you never ...
Fundraiser for funeral expense6/9/2008
  Q: My mother just passed away a week ago and we (my sister and I) just found out she had only $4700 in ...
  A: Find a cheaper funeral--you can bargain with them and Costco sells coffins online. The markup of a ...
Addressing Cards and letters6/9/2008
  Q: When writing a card to a couple whose name should go first, the man's or the woman's. For example: ...
  A: Are they married? If they are, then it should be Mr. and Mrs. John T. Cardgetter, if not then ...
Graduation Invite6/8/2008
  Q: My husband and I are hosting a graduation party for his daughter(my step daughter) who does not live ...
  A: It's your party, so invite whomever you want to attend. If the graduate gets in a snit, she doesn't ...
graduation from high school gift6/6/2008
  Q: What is the proper monetary gift for a high school graduation for a great neice?
  A: It's whatever you wish to give, anything from nothing to the sky's the limit depending on your ...
Housewarming Etiquette6/6/2008
  Q: I recently received an invitation for a housewarming. I was in shock and felt humiliated when the ...
  A: They haven't breached any etiquette rules at all in asking for food instead of gifts. I think that ...
host gift6/4/2008
  Q: I have been invited to a farewell party for my boss, to be held at the palace of a family in our ...
  A: Flowers are ALWAYS the perfect hostess gift and a bottle of excellent wine is quite good too--just ...
Vow Renewal6/4/2008
  Q: My husband and I were married December 29, 2007. We were engaged in June of that year. We had ...
  A: Jenn dear, First, my congratulations and know that you have my respect, it is very difficult to be a ...
invitation to a funeral service6/3/2008
  Q: is it proper? who's supposed to send out said invitation, if it were? should one RSVP?
  A: You do not send invitations to a funeral. It will be announced in the newspapers and you will ...
Fathers Day6/3/2008
  Q: I need some etiquette advice for fathers day. In 3wks I will be relocating to live with my boyfriend ...
  A: To be honest Kim, this isn't an etiquette question, it's an advice question but I'm pretty good at ...
Birthday Party6/3/2008
  Q: I am having a 30th birthday party for my husband. I am planning on paying for appetizers, how do I ...
  A: You word the invitation along the lines of "Join us for appetizers at (wherever)from (whenever to ...
50th Wedding Anniversary6/2/2008
  Q: My husband and I will be celebrating our 50th anniversary on July 5, 2008. We have family out of ...
  A: Yours is an unusual question, I think that every golden anniversary question I've received in the ...
How to construct a message regarding monetary gift for wedding.6/2/2008
  Q: My fiancé and I were getting married this 08-08-08 here in the Philippines. And we are having a hard ...
  A: You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. Also, it is extremely difficult ...
wedding gift registry6/2/2008
  Q: My daughter lives in New York, but her wedding will be in Florida. She and her fiance' have decided ...
  A: You can't. It is the height of bad manners to ask for cash gifts. The upside is that since they ...
Help?6/1/2008
  Q: My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, never married, no ...
  A: No, you are OK here, I can help you. The very best gift that is appreciated more than anything ...
wedding invitation mailings6/1/2008
  Q: What is the correct way to address an lenvelope containing a wedding invitation for a retired ...
  A: It really depends on the person. While they are entitled to be addressed by their previous military ...
high school graduation gift giving5/30/2008
  Q: Our daughter is having her high school graduation open house soon and will be attending her friends' ...
  A: Since she is attending an actual party, she should have a small thoughtful gift that should be ...
Get together invite5/30/2008
  Q: We are having a get-together for some of our family and our next door neighbors (who are really good ...
  A: I'm afraid you aren't going to like my answer, but on the rude scale, you topped your neighbor. She ...
Who is a inlaw?5/29/2008
  Q: Who is a inlaw? I was told that only the sibling of your spouse is considered a inlaw, the spouse ...
  A: An in-law is your husband's immediate family. Your sister-in-law's husband is sort of an in-law but ...
Performers attire for a benefit concert5/29/2008
  Q: Our local Chinese communities in Phoenix are going to hold a benefit concert to raise fund for China ...
  A: If it is the defacto uniform for all the performers and staff, I don't think it will matter what ...
grad gift blended family5/28/2008
  Q: My husbands friend of many years(they only really socialize for hunting, the friend came to our ...
  A: You are not required to give a gift to the graduate unless you attend the party, but I understand ...
Panty hose and open toe shoes5/28/2008
  Q: Is it proper etiquette to wear panty hose (sheer toe) with open toe shoes for a Northeastern wedding ...
  A: Yes, it is. I've also seen some pantyhose that have open toes--a little band you put your toes ...
Catering for 2505/28/2008
  Q: Teri, Greetings! About a month ago I asked you a question about catering for 250, lasagna, salad, ...
  A: You are so very welcome my dear! Please feel free to email me if I can be of assistance to you in ...
protocol for picking up the check5/27/2008
  Q: I am hosting a graduation dinner for my Granddaughter in a nice restaurant. The invitations say ...
  A: Without seeing the invitation, I would have go say that you are with some caveats: Did you invite ...
Address Etiquette5/27/2008
  Q: How would I address a letter to a family in which the wife kept her maiden name? Would it be The ...
  A: It would depend on whether the wife kept her maiden name for professional use only and uses her ...
re-taking wedding vows5/27/2008
  Q: I was married in 1980 and honeymooned in Hawaii. Retiring next year - planning to take my wife and ...
  A: While no ring is REQUIRED, many men present their wives with what is called an eternity ring or a ...
Boyfriend of ex-spouse at former spouse's family reunion:5/27/2008
  Q: My ex-spouse and I have four minor children and she has primary custody. My family, one of the ...
  A: Sadly, you are not going to be able exclude your ex-wife from attending this event because she WAS, ...
Our wedding5/26/2008
  Q: Jeff and I live in Las Vegas, although we are getting married in Colorado. We have issued an open ...
  A: I might be able to help more if you clarify a few things; as it is a rather confusing question. What ...
husband doesn't answer/return calls5/24/2008
  Q: My husband often ignores calls that come in on his cell phone from his friends. He's not necessarily ...
  A: As you have noticed, there are very few calls. As time goes by there will be none at all since even ...
Graduation Celebration Guest Etiquette5/24/2008
  Q: My husband has been the basketball/baseball coach of a few kids that are now graduating high school. ...
  A: He can stay as long as he likes or leave after congratulating the graduate and wishing him/her well. ...
baptism payment and banquet manager tip5/21/2008
  Q: Two questions. For a baptism, do we both make a donation to the church and a payment to the ...
  A: The payment to the minister for the baptism is a donation to the church, it doesn't go in his ...
Visitors entering the Master bedroom5/21/2008
  Q: How appropriate is it for someone/relative to enter the master bedroom of a home without being ...
  A: It is incredibly rude!! The MBR is totally off limits to any guest unless they are specifically ...
High School Graduation Open House Attendance and Gifts5/21/2008
  Q: With neighbors, should I invite them as a courtesy to OUR open houses even if we are not friends. ...
  A: The basic rule of thumb in life is to invite people that you like and wish to spend time with. If ...
announcement5/20/2008
  Q: On an announcement, whose name comes first. for example my daughters announcments read jane and ...
  A: The proper way to word an announcement for anything to do with one's child (be it wedding, ...
25th anniversary vow renewal ceremony5/19/2008
  Q: My Mother and stepfather live in Arkansas and have decided to renew their vows and have a ceremony ...
  A: The only way that your sister is obligated to pay for this is if it was HER idea. It is outrageous ...
High School Graduation Open House Attendance and Gifts5/19/2008
  Q: I have 2 daughters in high school with 2 other children following close behind. Next year our ...
  A: You are under no obligation to go to any open house that you don't want to attend. For your ...
High School Graduation Open House Gift Etiquette5/18/2008
  Q: My brother and sister-in-law have received seven invitations to high school graduation open houses ...
  A: They are not required to gift anyone unless they attend that person's party. No gift past a sincere ...
engagement party attire5/17/2008
  Q: We are having an brunch engagement party outdoors in July. How do we indicate on the invitations of ...
  A: No matter what you put on the invitations, people will wear what they are going to wear. I have ...
etiquette5/15/2008
  Q: I'm enclosing an insert in my son's HS grad announcements so that people (especially less well-off ...
  A: I'd go with something humorous such as: Gifts are optional and entirely at your discretion. We just ...
Graduation parties5/15/2008
  Q: We are the parents of a high school senior who does not want to have a graduation party. We and our ...
  A: It is entirely up to you if you want to bring a gift or not. High School grads are notorious for ...
Wedding Vows5/15/2008
  Q: I am getting married over seas, my parents aren't able to attend our wedding but I would still like ...
  A: I put my wedding on YouTube for my parents who were unable to attend. I would suggest you get a ...
Graduation gift for brother-in-law5/13/2008
  Q: My brother in law is graduating from Medical School. He and my wife dont have the greatest ...
  A: Many doctors are arrogant asses, but this doesn't seem to keep them from being good doctors. I ...
first communion party5/13/2008
  Q: My daughter recently made her first communion. On the week of the mass, she was very ill, so we went ...
  A: I would telephone the previously invited guests and tell them that the new date for the party has ...
Graduation announcements5/13/2008
  Q: I have heard that's it not good etiquette to send a high school graduation announcement to a family ...
  A: Send announcements to the people you love who also love you. They are the ones who will want to ...
sympathy cards5/12/2008
  Q: My husbands sister just passed away. Both of us were close to her. The cards that were sent were ...
  A: Address the letter to whom you wish to open it. If anyone in the family can open it, address it to ...
college graduation announcements5/12/2008
  Q: We have recently received announcements for college graduation from the children of friends we use ...
  A: You are under no obligation to send a graduation present unless you want to. A card is more than ...
Graduation Announcements5/11/2008
  Q: I have received several graduation announcements from the children of college girlfriends. My ...
  A: It's up to you whether or not you want to send a gift, you are under no obligation to do so. ...
Graduate not participating in ceremony, but still graduating5/11/2008
  Q: My senior son was suspended from High School for a disciplinary infraction just three weeks before ...
  A: A small party with close family and close friends will not be inappropriate, but I wouldn't make a ...
"save the date" for birthday5/11/2008
  Q: My children and I are planning a surprise 75th birthday party for my husband. It will be an evening ...
  A: Absolutely--just send a "save the date" card and then the invitations about a month ahead so people ...
50th Wedding Anniversary Gifts5/9/2008
  Q: Terri, My parents are going to be celebrating their 50th Wedding Anniversary in June. We are ...
  A: Well, it's a bit awkward, but in this situation the proper wording for the invitation can make all ...
death of my doctors child5/9/2008
  Q: Greeting to all, My cardiologist, whom I've known for a decade or more has been pregnant with her ...
  A: A note from the heart will mean more to her than anything. I have tears in my eyes just from reading ...
HS Graduation gift protocal for business associate's child5/9/2008
  Q: A graduation invitation has been received for a business associate's child. No personal relationship ...
  A: It's the height of bad manners to send announcements to people you don't know in the hope of ...
Graduation Invitations Return Address5/8/2008
  Q: Is the return address on a graduation invitation supposed to be from the graduate or the parents?
  A: It depends on whether it's an invitation to a party or to the ceremony. If it is an invitation to a ...
high school graduation gift for boss's daughter5/7/2008
  Q: Am I expected to purchase a gift for my boss's daughter after she sent me invitation to her high ...
  A: Was it an invitation or an announcement? Announcements should not be sent before the graduation as ...
addressing graduation announcements5/6/2008
  Q: I am sending out graduation announcements and am needing to know how to address them to physicians ...
  A: Socially she is Mrs. Smith even though she may be Dr. Jones at work. It's not incorrect to address ...
graduation announcements5/6/2008
  Q: My daughter is graduating high school and they only get 9 invitations. When is the right time to ...
  A: Announcements are always sent AFTER the event so there is no confusion as to whether or not the ...
how to deal w/racist comments5/6/2008
  Q: My MiL's partner occasionally makes the same comment about how amazed he is that I can speak English ...
  A: Remarking to someone that their command of the English language is excellent is not a racist ...
college graduation5/6/2008
  Q: Our neighbor sent us her college graduation announcement, but we've probably said 5 words to her in ...
  A: You are not obligated to do anything. It was an announcement sent in the hope of guilting you into ...
Sweet 16 invites- only want to have adults & teens5/5/2008
  Q: Planning a surprise Hollywood theme Sweet 16 party (tent, rented chairs, tables, DJ) in backyard. ...
  A: You are perfectly within your rights to choose whom you wish to have at your party, and clearly ...
graduation announcements5/5/2008
  Q: When should graduation announcements and party invites be sent out? How should party invites, senior ...
  A: At least 3 weeks and preferably 4 before graduation and you can put them in a smaller envelope like ...
graduation announcements5/5/2008
  Q: When sending a teacher a graduation party invite,should the graduation announcement be sent as well? ...
  A: You can enclose a graduation announcement and photo if you like. It's a thoughtful touch, ...

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Social Etiquette and Good Manners

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Teri Davis Newman

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I can answer virtually any question pertaining to manners and etiquette. I am a wedding and party planner in St. Louis, Missouri and I do weddings and parties all over the country! My brides are my number one priority as I understand how important their wedding day is to them! Any questions about catering and cooking for large groups. This would include recipes, cooking techniques, what to serve, how to prevent food poisoning, food storage and food integrity. I have thousands of recipes that are scaled for large groups and gatherings and will be happy to share them! If you are in need of professional assistance for helping you to plan your wedding, party or corporate event, please feel free to contact me! I do a limited amount of weddings and parties every year in order to make sure that I have the best service for my clientele. Feel free to visit my business website at this address: WWW.EXQUISITEEVENTSUSA.COM for detailed information on what services I offer. I have price point weddings for every budget--no matter what size and I am very specific about what you get for your hard-earned money.

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I teach etiquette classes for children and adults in the St Louis area. Classes include Table Manners, Table Settings, Invitations, Thank you notes, Condolence Notes and Wedding etiquette for brides and guests.

Education/Credentials
I attended Charm School as a child in Palm Beach and am currently a corporate etiquette consultant for correct manners in the USA and Japan. I studied Japanese etiquette while living in Tokyo.

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