| Subject | Date Asked |
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| Invitations | 11/21/2009 |
Q: On a private invitation the "At home" means what? A)That it takes place in the house of the ...
A: I rarely see "at home" on an invitation - it is usually on a card included with wedding ...
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| Dating | 11/19/2009 |
Q: My sister was asked out at work by her bosses boss and wants to know what is the polite way to ...
A: Your sister should simply state that she keeps her personal life and her work life separate. That ...
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| co worker bereavement | 11/18/2009 |
Q: A co-worker's nephew passed away on Monday and our company is sending flowers. Another coworker is ...
A: You are not obligated to contribute to anything at the office if you don't want to. When someone ...
|
| Surprise Birthday Party | 11/17/2009 |
Q: I am having a surprise birthday party for my boyfriend who is turning 40. I want to send out ...
A: While it is tacky to ask guests to pay for their food and beverage at an invited event, you are ...
|
| adoption | 11/15/2009 |
Q: do you take a gift to an adoption open house. Is the gift for the parents or the child/childern?
A: Yes, a gift is appropriate and it should be for the child. It is a welcome to their family gift and ...
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| Guest Dress Code for Debutant Ball | 11/13/2009 |
Q: My husband and I have been invited to a Debutant Ball, My husband is wearing a tukedo, what is the ...
A: It sounds as if the invitation said formal and your husband is right to wear a tuxedo. You need to ...
|
| How to return an expensive present | 11/12/2009 |
Q: I was recently given an expensive present by a friend/exboyfriend. It was a gift certificate for ...
A: It is rude to give back a gift you have been given - no matter your perception of its worth. When ...
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| Birthday Card Etiquette | 11/12/2009 |
Q: My husband and I sent a birthday card to his mother. She cannot see very well and relies on her ...
A: Emery: I can imagine what your thoughts are about this situation and I believe we share them to some ...
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| Introduction | 11/11/2009 |
Q: How should my boyfriend introduce me. We have been living 3 years together, are past our ...
A: There is no official way to introduce "live in honeys" by etiquette standards. That said, you ...
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| invitations to colleagues | 11/10/2009 |
Q: I wonder if I'm being oversensitive. A new colleague (she joined 8 months ago) in our very small ...
A: Often when people choose to invite only the "professionals" in a firm to an event of significance it ...
|
| in law terror, Moving out.. | 11/8/2009 |
Q: I have been living with my future in laws for nearly two years, across the country from my home.. ...
A: W.: I am so sorry that living with your fiance's parents has been so troubling. You are right to ...
|
| Dinner Invites | 11/8/2009 |
Q: My husband and I have noticed that we always do the inviting, including friends and family. We buy ...
A: First of all, you are not doing anything wrong - you are just more savvy than your friends. Many ...
|
| 50th birthday gift - money | 11/7/2009 |
Q: My brother in law is throwing his wife a surprise 50th birthday party at a nice restaurant which he ...
A: What you give to your sister for her 50th birthday should be something that you think she will like ...
|
| salutations | 11/6/2009 |
Q: I really never know, when writing a 'thank you' note (or any note) to friends and family, whether to ...
A: The proper way to address an envelope for two people who are living together but not married is: ...
|
| 40th b-day invites | 11/4/2009 |
Q: Is it ever ok to sell tickets to a 40th b-day celebration like they do for stag parties? My friend ...
A: I am sorry but it is never OK to ask people to pay for attending a function that they have been ...
|
| Eating Fried Chicken | 11/3/2009 |
Q: At a semi-formal banquet where fried chicken is served may it be eaten by picking it up with the ...
A: I have never been to a semi-formal affair where fried chicken was served, but if it is served, you ...
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| birthday cards | 11/2/2009 |
Q: How long after a birthday/anniversary can a card be sent? I have received some up to 2 months after ...
A: Great question! The nuance is lost after a week. A belated card can safely be sent up to two weeks ...
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| Graduate Party Invitations | 11/2/2009 |
Q: My wife will be graduating with her doctorate degree and she wants a party with all her friends and ...
A: It is never appropriate to ask for gifts - any gifts. It is especially rude to ask for money. Your ...
|
| President wants to borrow bus pass | 10/30/2009 |
Q: I work at a small company (12 people). The president of my company has asked me on multiple ...
A: You are neither ungrateful for your job or wrong in your assessment of improper behavior by your ...
|
| Rude to ask for a gift?!?! | 10/28/2009 |
Q: I have a question. My step-sister and I have had very limited contact in the last few years. Due to ...
A: It is always rude to ask for a gift. That said, your step-sister seems to be grasping at a ...
|
| salutations | 10/27/2009 |
Q: I really never know, when writing a 'thank you' note (or any note) to friends and family, whether to ...
A: The rule is that when you sign a letter, the other persons for whom you are also signing have their ...
|
| family-style dining | 10/26/2009 |
Q: I have a friend who eats at my home occasionally. She fills her plate as the food is passed, eats ...
A: As the host it would be rude to say anything to your friend about how she piles her food on her ...
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| Is there a polite, non-conflicting way to tell my sister-in-law to stop this behavior? | 10/23/2009 |
Q: My husband and I are hosting a housewarming party in our house. I am rather reserved person and I do ...
A: Tell your sister-in-law that you set a guest list because it was what you feel comfortable with. You ...
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| College Graduation Announcements | 10/23/2009 |
Q: I would like know when is it proper for sending College Graduation announcements. My daughter will ...
A: Since your daughter will be continuing her college education, it would be proper to inform your ...
|
| No Sympathy Card | 10/22/2009 |
Q: my 91 yr-old grandfather recently passed away. My in-laws often saw him at celebrations for my ...
A: As I was reading your question I kept thinking how confused about life your mother-in-law is. I ...
|
| signing a family card | 10/21/2009 |
Q: I hope you can help me with something that has stumped me since I gave birth to my son last year. ...
A: My first response is a question. Do you call Steven Jr. by Steven? or is it Stevie or other ...
|
| Protocol behavior at a funeral | 10/14/2009 |
Q: I would like to know if its necessary for me to attend a funeral when it involves my husband's ...
A: There is no requirement to attend someone's funeral - no matter what relationship you have with ...
|
| Regifting jewelry | 10/13/2009 |
Q: Since my divorce, I am at a loss as to what to do with some jewelry. I have some pieces that were ...
A: The jewelry given to you is yours to give to whomever you like but it would mean a lot to your ...
|
| Dinner in a restaurant | 10/12/2009 |
Q: who is entering a restaurant first? He or she? who is leading the way to the table , he or she?
A: The rule is that the host goes first and holds the door for his or her guests. The host goes to the ...
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| Extended family gifts | 10/8/2009 |
Q: My brother-in-law had a son out of wedlock with a woman in another state. She later married and had ...
A: Your question reminds me why divorce is a bad idea. It really complicates our lives. You didn't ...
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| sympathy cards | 10/7/2009 |
Q: My elderly uncle passed away and I attended the out-of-town funeral and luncheon, also the private ...
A: Since you attended the funeral, a sympathy card is not necessary. However, it is never wrong to ...
|
| best girlfriend befriends x husband | 10/3/2009 |
Q: One of my closest girlfriends found my ex-husband on the internet and started chatting with him. She ...
A: I know it feels like a betrayal when a close friend finds someone you don't get along with ...
|
| Friend moving in | 10/2/2009 |
Q: A friend of ours (mine & my fiance's) is in a tough spot right now and needs a new place to move ...
A: When you invite someone into your home - as an overnight guest or a paying renter, you have the ...
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| Nosy Coach | 9/29/2009 |
Q: My partner's dream is to be a singer. Her singing coach has invited her to participate in several ...
A: I don't know much about singing and singing coaches but I do know that coaches often ask students to ...
|
| Husban's Ex Family | 9/27/2009 |
Q: Although my husband was married for 20 years and divorced 25 years, I do feel and respect that he ...
A: What is proper is that your feelings be considered and respected. If you feel uncomfortable being ...
|
| Anniversary gift | 9/25/2009 |
Q: Is is proper or good social etiquette to continue to give a gift on their anniversay to a surviving ...
A: What a lovely gesture for you to think of for your mother-in-law. You can give her a gift that she ...
|
| Birthday party invitees | 9/24/2009 |
Q: I am inviting some friends out for drinks for my birthday. At first it was going to be a few people ...
A: When you invite people to a party, it is not up to you to give them lodging too. That is their ...
|
| Thank you Gift for Employer | 9/20/2009 |
Q: In an extremely generous gesture the owner of the company I a senior executive for has offered an ...
A: When you return home have all of your family (you for you and your family and your kids for ...
|
| Snide Remarks | 9/19/2009 |
Q: I just got out of an expensive lease of a "luxury vehicle" and purchased a much more reasonable car. ...
A: You have the choice not to answer your questioner with more than, "Yes, I did." Anymore of an ...
|
| Suffix | 9/18/2009 |
Q: I am happily married to a II. When addressing us a couple, would it be Mr. First Smith & Mrs. First ...
A: I am not certain what your question is but the proper way to address an envelope to the both of you ...
|
| Birthday Party Etiquette | 9/16/2009 |
Q: A pretty good friend of mine, let's call her Ann (not real name), recently failed to invite my son ...
A: I hope you will let the hurt go - it doesn't solve anything and could impact your friendships. It ...
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| Birthday Party Etiquette | 9/16/2009 |
Q: A pretty good friend of mine, let's call her Ann (not real name), recently failed to invite my son ...
A: You are looking at invitations as a tit for tat situation and they should not be. My guess is that ...
|
| Christmas Gift Giving | 9/11/2009 |
Q: My husband is one of four boys. All of his brothers are married and have 2 kids each, while we don't ...
A: I think your resolution is reasonable but it will only be acceptable if you can garner acceptance ...
|
| Overnight guests | 9/10/2009 |
Q: My husband and I live in a two-bedroom apartment. There is no guest room because we use the second ...
A: In you own home, you set the rules. If having guests, no matter whether they are family or not is ...
|
| family birthday party | 9/9/2009 |
Q: My mother is soon turning 80 so we thought it would be great to get the family together and throw ...
A: The etiquette rule is that the host pays. Since you are planning the party and have extended the ...
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| Announcing baby's name before birth | 9/8/2009 |
Q: My son and his wife are expecting their first child in April. Her mother immediately wanted to know ...
A: According to accepted etiquette rules, the parents are the only ones with the right to name their ...
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| husband and wife meeting a friend of husband | 9/5/2009 |
Q: i am walkiing down the street with my wife I see a friend of mine and stop to say "hello" My ...
A: It sounds like your wife was trying to give you and your friend some privacy for your conversation. ...
|
| My Sister-in-law... | 9/3/2009 |
Q: I have been in a relationship for almost 11 years and my partners' sister, has always made dinner ...
A: My solution to this problem is to let her make the dinners, freeze them and when you don't feel like ...
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| Sick of petty adults | 9/2/2009 |
Q: I have a longtime friend from my college days ("Michael") who is married (to "Maggie") and has two ...
A: It sounds like your relationship with this couple is toxic and not very rewarding since you can't ...
|
| How best to decline a previous | 9/2/2009 |
Q: My 8 year old daughter and I were asked to join a new Girl Scout troop at her school. I reluctantly ...
A: The best way to handle this situation is to not address the personality of the woman you don't care ...
|
| Shower thank you's after stillborn | 9/1/2009 |
Q: I understand it is up to the mother to return gifts or not. Now comes the hard part. What does one ...
A: I am so sorry for your loss and for the pain it has caused your family. The thank-you should state ...
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| School formal | 9/1/2009 |
Q: My son is about to attend his school formal which consists of a dinner and then I am assuming a ...
A: It is not practiced much anymore but it is still lovely for the gentleman to include the mother of ...
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| Baby Shower Hosts/Invitation | 8/29/2009 |
Q: What is the typical protocol for whose names should be on the invitation for a baby shower? The ...
A: Proper etiquette dictates that relatives not host baby (or wedding) showers for relatives. It is a ...
|
| dinner invitation | 8/28/2009 |
Q: If family/friends who have been dining out for New Years for several years suddenly invite another ...
A: While you as a guest can't tell your hosts how to configure their dining arrangements, I am ...
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| sister in law relationship | 8/27/2009 |
Q: I'm not sure if this is an etiquette question, or just a question of poor taste...Do you think it is ...
A: It sounds like your sister-in-law is using you are her style maven. There are many people who need ...
|
| Reciprical Dinner Invitation | 8/27/2009 |
Q: My husband and I were invited, accepted and went to dinner at the home of a new acquaintance, her ...
A: You have a couple of months to reciprocate and you don't have to include the daughter. Your ...
|
| FUNERAL/SYMPATHY ETIQUETTE | 8/26/2009 |
Q: My co-workers and I are not sure how to deal with this situation. Our boss just lost a niece-in-law ...
A: It is not appropriate for you to attend the funeral of your boss's relative especially since you did ...
|
| Hello | 8/9/2009 |
Q: I'm having my 13th birthday soon and I want to invite my friends in MY AGE GROUP. BUT,my parents ...
A: I am afraid that your parents are right in inviting the younger girl in your carpool since she will ...
|
| Family Member from Hell | 8/7/2009 |
Q: When my family member visits our home and family members homes she sleeps until 10:30 - 11:00 well ...
A: Your family member seems oblivious of obvious social cues and proper interaction with others most ...
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| Baby Shower Invites | 8/5/2009 |
Q: My cousin is throwing me a baby shower. My mom wants to invite a set of relatives that I haven't ...
A: The proper etiquette for this situation is that the bride along with the host make the guest list ...
|
| "borrowing" baby items | 8/4/2009 |
Q: My husband and I have a 21-month old daughter and now feel we are ready to try for #2. My husband's ...
A: Since you are planning on another child you will no doubt need these things for your own use in the ...
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| Housewarming - TY for no gift? | 8/3/2009 |
Q: We had a small informal housewarming when we bought our new condo. Several friends arrived with ...
A: You should send a thank you for all the gifts you received, very nice or just wine. You do not need ...
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| Group visiting friend for weekend | 8/3/2009 |
Q: Recently, a few of my high school friends and I have become reacquainted after 25 years. One friend ...
A: To be a great house guest you should certainly pay for at least one meal for her and her family. ...
|
| casual seating arrangement | 8/2/2009 |
Q: We will be having family for dinner outside on out patio. Our patio table seats 6 and we will have ...
A: Wilson: You and your husband should split up at the two tables. If the smaller table will hold four ...
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| Thank you notes | 8/2/2009 |
Q: This spring, we celebrated my 7 year old daughter's First Communion, and shortly thereafter, we ...
A: First of all, my heartfelt condolences for your loss. I too lost my son unexpectedly and I know how ...
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| Thank You Note | 8/1/2009 |
Q: My college age son visited his girlfriend and family recently for 10 days. He is sending a thank you ...
A: Since your son is college age and he is the one who enjoyed the family's hospitality, he is the one ...
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| child birthday | 8/1/2009 |
Q: Our son (only child) will be 5 in October. His first 2 birthdays were at home and last 2 were at ...
A: What a great question since it has happened to me on several occasions as well. When this happens ...
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| inlaws 60th Anniversary | 7/30/2009 |
Q: My in-laws have asked each of their 7 children to contribute $1000.00 each so they can buy a car. I ...
A: It is always bad etiquette to ask anyone to pay for anything for your benefit only. I too have not ...
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| GIFTS | 7/30/2009 |
Q: We a family of 6 have been invited by our friends for a picnic lunch. The host family in their ...
A: When a host specifically asks guests not to bring gifts, the best thing to do is to go to the picnic ...
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| Delayed High School Diploma | 7/27/2009 |
Q: My son was suppose to graduate in 2008. Do to several circumstances, he didn't finish high school ...
A: Your son certainly deserves a celebration for his accomplishment, no matter how long to achieve. ...
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| Visitor etiquette - bedroom use | 7/27/2009 |
Q: Is it reasonable to ask a child (21 yrs old) to allow a visitor to use their bedroom for one night ...
A: Brauen: Is the child's room in your house? If so, you have the say, not the child. Just make sure ...
|
| walking together | 7/26/2009 |
Q: I understand the principle of walking on the street side (next to a woman), and before her down the ...
A: The reasoning behind the etiquette of a man walking on the outside of the sidewalk when with a woman ...
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| social etiquette/manners | 7/26/2009 |
Q: My granddaughter's 22 year old boyfriend came to visit from Germany. Since he is allergic to cats ...
A: No, you are right. Since he took advantage of your kind hospitality he should have not only taken ...
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| card to parents on anniversary of son's death | 7/23/2009 |
Q: The adult son of friends of ours was killed in an accident last summer. Is it appropriate to send a ...
A: As the mother of a son who died three years ago, I would appreciate being reminded of his birth, not ...
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| Birthday greeting to an ex boyfriend | 7/22/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate to send your ex a birthday greeting after a recent breakup?
A: The proper answer to your question has everything to do with how your breakup went. If it was mutual ...
|
| baby shower invitation | 7/20/2009 |
Q: Five friends and I organized a baby shower for a friend last week. A few days later, she extended ...
A: As with any invitation, you are not obligated to attend. According to proper etiquette, it is rude ...
|
| speaking to someone in another room | 7/19/2009 |
Q: On a daily basis my husband calls to me to ask me a question when he is downstairs. He EXPECTS me ...
A: You are describing a typical pet peeve of people who live together. I highlight it in my book, ...
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| employee parties | 7/18/2009 |
Q: I was recently invited to a pool party by one of my female co-workers. The age range for my ...
A: I would tell your co-worker that you appreciate the invitation but pool parties are just not your ...
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| Familky Reunions | 7/17/2009 |
Q: What is the correct protocol for a family member to sell their wares at a reunion gathering?
A: There is no stated protocol for selling stuff at family reunions. The most important thing is not to ...
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| In-Laws come arrive before my husband (their son)! | 7/16/2009 |
Q: my husband is in the military and got orders for some leadership training that lasts for 2 months. ...
A: I understand your situation and there is a way for all to be happy. Allow them to come early and ...
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| Gifts for grandchildren | 7/15/2009 |
Q: I have always sent thoughtful gifts (cloths, crafts, toys, books and sometimes money) to my young ...
A: I am not certain what your question is so I will comment on what action I would take as proper if ...
|
| Sister in law | 7/14/2009 |
Q: My wife of 30 years went to her sisters house (sister is married) out of state for two weeks, on the ...
A: Even if there is nothing going on - even a friendship -with your wife and this man, your wife should ...
|
| Limiting guests | 7/9/2009 |
Q: I'm coordinating a graduation celebration for approx 100. Due to space I must limit the guest to 4 ...
A: Proper etiquette dictates that the only place on the invitation to indicate who is invited is on the ...
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| Graduation Gift Thank You | 7/8/2009 |
Q: I have a question regarding gift-giving manners and timely thank you notes. My daughter recently had ...
A: When gifts are given to others, we naturally expect to receive a positive response as soon as ...
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| Gift after weekend away with friend and her family | 7/6/2009 |
Q: I recently spent a fabulous weekend at my friends cabin. It is her family's cabin and her family was ...
A: The best gift you can give to the family (since they were all your hosts) would be a handwritten ...
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| Common courtesy after having dinner out | 7/3/2009 |
Q: If some out-of-town friends meet you at your home for a drink before dinner, then you all go out to ...
A: In days gone by a complete evening with others could well have included drinks at your house, dinner ...
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| Gifted Twice | 7/1/2009 |
Q: My brother graduated from high school this year, and he recently had a party. A relative gave my ...
A: The best thing to do is to call the relative who gifted twice and thank him for the generous gift ...
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| introductions | 7/1/2009 |
Q: What is the proper way to introduce a couple, to a group of people, when the wife is a doctor? Are ...
A: Introductions are done separately since it important that each person's name is said in full. You ...
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| In-laws unannounced overnight stay | 6/24/2009 |
Q: My in-laws contacted my husband and told him they were going to be coming through our city and would ...
A: This is an issue that you need to discuss with your husband first and get him to respect that you ...
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| Received flowers for helping out | 6/24/2009 |
Q: Recently I did volunteer- received flowers from the manager. I am preparing a note to thanks for the ...
A: A note of thanks is always appropriate but when the gift is given as a thank-you for efforts you ...
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| Thank you...and follow up question. | 6/23/2009 |
Q: My orginal question was about the rude lady taking my picture without my permission. I just wanted ...
A: When the two of you are sitting down, chatting about anything, bring up the subject. It could be ...
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| Birthday card | 6/23/2009 |
Q: I am friends with a couple who have birthdays very close to one another(only 4 days difference). Is ...
A: I know it is tempting to send one card that takes care of two birthdays but the individuals who ...
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| What card to send a terminally ill colleague? | 6/22/2009 |
Q: A work colleague has recently been diagnosed with Lukemia. She has been off work for a couple of ...
A: A card that expresses your appreciation of her situation and encourages her to keep up her spirits ...
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| fundraing for personal gain? | 6/22/2009 |
Q: My kids have undertaken a expensive hobby of building a racecar to drive. They are both putting in ...
A: Fund raising is acceptable only if the proceeds fund a non-profit (as defined by law) organization ...
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| announcements and thank you's | 6/21/2009 |
Q: What is the time frame for sending birth announcements? What is the acceptable time frame for ...
A: You have about three months to send announcements for births. For gifts, the thank you notes should ...
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| Is this behavior rude or not | 6/19/2009 |
Q: ..this is my first time here. Is it considered rude, if a co-worker/friend asks me to go on break, ...
A: I think you already know the answer to your question. Imposing anything on another person who ...
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| Returning a gift 4 months later | 6/18/2009 |
Q: Myself and 2 other ladies became friendly with our dogs. The one lady(lets call her doglady as she ...
A: It is probably a good thing that you are not friends with doglady as she is a particularly rude ...
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| Awards Brunch Gift | 6/17/2009 |
Q: My son is receiving a scholarship at a brunch hosted at an individuals home. He and his father and ...
A: Congratulations to your son and to you and his father for such an honor. You are right to bring a ...
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| birthday party | 6/17/2009 |
Q: i am throwing my mom a 50th birthday dinner. This is going to be a surprise for her. So here is the ...
A: It is a sweet thought to throw your mom at surprise birthday party but you are going to alienate her ...
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| graduation gifts, whom to give to | 6/16/2009 |
Q: we were invited to a graduation party for a college graduate, who works with us, the party is also ...
A: You don't need to give the brother a gift since you weren't invited to his graduation party - just ...
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| Overnight guests | 6/14/2009 |
Q: When having people overnight should the host and hostess give up the master bedroom for the guests? ...
A: Proper etiquette states that you provide comfortable, clean and quiet sleeping accommodations for ...
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| Mutual attraction in the surgery suite | 6/13/2009 |
Q: My 77 year old stepfather recently had to have colon cancer surgery. I went with him to meet with ...
A: While this isn't really an etiquette question I will tell you what I think anyway. You might call ...
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| RSVP | 6/13/2009 |
Q: my question has to do with invites to my childs 2nd bday. I have requested RSVP but to no availe I ...
A: It sounds like you need to do what savvy companies do when their guests to their events don't Rsvp. ...
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| graduation open house | 6/12/2009 |
Q: We are invited to an open house for 3 boys. One, we do not know at all, one we barely know and one ...
A: You should bring a congrats card for all three boys but you can give a gift to the one you know only ...
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| Confirming gift received | 6/11/2009 |
Q: I was wondering if it is poor manners to contact someone to find out whether or not they received a ...
A: It is not bad manners to ask the recipient if they received your gift. Perhaps she forgot to ...
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| meet the parents | 6/10/2009 |
Q: When my then fiance and I went to my home for Christmas, my mother talked non stop about herself and ...
A: It is never polite to not ask guests about themselves and their family. It is also never polite to ...
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| who should pay the dinner bill? | 6/9/2009 |
Q: It was my father's birthday last night and my sisters and I wanted to take him out for dinner. I ...
A: It would not be expected to have someone who is not family (husband is family, boyfriend/fiance is ...
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| Common Courtesy | 6/7/2009 |
Q: Is there a good book to give someone on Courtesy and Respect? I have some relatives who don't seem ...
A: I understand how frustrating being with people who don't know they don't possess social skills can ...
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| Bereavement | 6/5/2009 |
Q: A co-worker has just lost his wife after a fourteen year struggle with cancer. Supervisors have ...
A: My best advice is to let each person who wants to sign the card do so. The department head should ...
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| gift etiquette | 6/4/2009 |
Q: My boyfriend of 5 years didn't give my son anything for his college graduation with a bachelor's ...
A: It is a personal decision to whom we give gifts and what those gifts are. It is sad that your ...
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| Request for money as a wedding gift | 6/3/2009 |
Q: How do I respond to a request for money rather than a wedding gift? I feel as tho a request is not ...
A: It is incredibly rude to request a gift of any kind for any reason so the request for money rather ...
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| High School Grad Parties | 6/3/2009 |
Q: When a student graduates from high school, the seniors typically graduate along with many of their ...
A: Proper etiquette states that you take a gift of some sort to the host of the party. It doesn't have ...
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| Uninvited guest | 6/1/2009 |
Q: An ex coworker and I have remained luncheon friends and enjoy lunch about once a month. We tired to ...
A: Simply tell her that your family has plans already and it would not be convenient. She is looking ...
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| wording on child's birthday invitation | 6/1/2009 |
Q: we are having my son's 5th birthday party at a bowling alley. We are prepared to pay for each child ...
A: You could state on the invitation state that the bowling is for the kids only (though most parents ...
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| no gifts please for college graduation party | 5/31/2009 |
Q: my husband and i are invited to his bosses daughter's graduation party. we have never met her or ...
A: First of all, don't feel obligated to go just because it is your boss's daughter's party. If you ...
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| Wife's birthday at spa | 5/31/2009 |
Q: Ms. Lett, I want to give my wife a day at the spa with 1 or 2 of her best friends for her 30th ...
A: If you invite someone, you are the host and the host always pays. Don't invite your wife's friends ...
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| proper etiquette for a year death anniversary | 5/26/2009 |
Q: My brother died a year ago this week and I would like to know the proper etiquette in corresponding ...
A: I am so sorry for your loss. Flowers are not usually sent to the widow at this time. I suggest you ...
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| Following a Hostess in a Restaurant | 5/24/2009 |
Q: Could you please tell me in what order people should follow a hostess to the table? For example, a ...
A: The rule for following the hostess is the person who is paying the bill goes first so that they can ...
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| My husband is not invited to his daughter's high graduation | 5/24/2009 |
Q: I am hoping for some advice on how to deal with situation in an adult manner. My husband's daughter ...
A: I am really sorry that your stepdaughter has decided to graduate from high school as a child rather ...
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| Birthday Invitation Wording | 5/22/2009 |
Q: I am sending out invitations for a surprise birthday for my husband at a local restuarant. How can ...
A: It is considered quite rude to invite someone to something and make them pay for it. In essence you ...
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| social etiquette | 5/21/2009 |
Q: A neighbor has invited himself and his family along on a small group camping trip. This man and his ...
A: Tell your neighbor that you appreciate their interest in the trip but all of your plans have already ...
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| Dinnerware | 5/20/2009 |
Q: Would one use Fine China (bone or porcelain) at a Sunday Supper table? or would the Sunday Supper ...
A: By strict etiquette rules (which are rarely observed these days) Sunday Supper is considered casual ...
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| High School Graduation | 5/19/2009 |
Q: It is proper ettiquette for my ex-husband to bring a date to our daughters highschool graduation ...
A: Bringing a new friend as a date to a family event is pretty tacky. However, it is up to your ...
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| Video & Photography Etiquette | 5/18/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate for guests in your home to take pictures or video your home? This makes me very ...
A: It is definitely not appropriate for someone to take pictures inside of your home without your ...
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| seniors sending other seniors graduation announcements | 5/14/2009 |
Q: I have always been told that it is bad etiquette to send a graduation announcement to families that ...
A: When I was a high school senior the school sent out a graduation announcement and each girl (it was ...
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| Anniversary party | 5/13/2009 |
Q: Good day Ms. Lett, My parents are planning a 40th anniversary party in June. The invitations were ...
A: I understand the frustration when guests are not gracious enough to Rsvp. However, the note as you ...
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| leftovers | 5/12/2009 |
Q: Sometimes I bring in leftover bake goods, ie cake, from an occasion to work for my coworkers. My ...
A: Bringing in food for co-workers is a nice gesture but they don't want to know that they are worthy ...
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| Graduation gift | 5/11/2009 |
Q: We have a nephew and niece who have had a hard life (father died, mother in jail for a couple of ...
A: Since you were initially invited by phone a year ago, you should call your niece, and ask if she ...
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| Dining Conversation | 5/6/2009 |
Q: I sat a a table with 3 friends at at square table. One person sat on each side. Person A & person B ...
A: I am surprised to read that Person A thought your behavior was rude because they were doing exactly ...
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| Medical School Graduation | 5/5/2009 |
Q: My son is graduating from medical school and I would like to know if it is proper to include ...
A: Your son has achieved a major accomplishment. Congratulations! Of course he may include whomever he ...
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| Treating out-of-town friends | 5/4/2009 |
Q: I have an out-of-town friend visiting the city where I live, and we decided to get lunch together. ...
A: In the best of all possible worlds, the rule of etiquette that you treat out of town guests would ...
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| two family social gathering at the same time | 5/3/2009 |
Q: My daughters birthday party invitations where sent out two weeks before the big day. Around one week ...
A: It is hard to give you an informed decision because I don't know the relationship you have with your ...
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| college graduation announcements | 5/2/2009 |
Q: I'd like to know the correct way to handle the "putting together" of the announcement for mailing, ...
A: Here are the details: The inner envelope has only the names of the invited guests - no addresses. ...
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| wedding gift | 5/1/2009 |
Q: I am a professional hairstylist. My best friend is getting married & has asked me to do hair & ...
A: If your friend hasn't already asked how much it will cost her for your services, she has asked for ...
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| Thank you Notes for Thank You Gifts | 4/30/2009 |
Q: I received a bottle of wine as a gift to thank me for helping out on a work-related project. Is a ...
A: You need to say thank you for anything someone gives to you. If you said thank you to the giver at ...
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| Disgruntled Grocery Clerks | 4/29/2009 |
Q: Lett: Perhaps this is more of a regional than national issue but it is all too common where I reside ...
A: I can concur with your situation. I have had the same situation happen at both grocery and clothing ...
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| college graduation | 4/28/2009 |
Q: Do we clap when they had my son his diploma or should we hold our applause to the end. Also he is ...
A: Arriaga: Congratulations to you and your family. Whether to clap when your son gets his diploma ...
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| Hostess Gifts | 4/27/2009 |
Q: When hosting a party and you receive wine or food gifts as a hostess gift, is it rude to not use the ...
A: When giving a hostess gift, it is rude to expect that it would be used or even looked at on the ...
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| Bridal shower | 4/26/2009 |
Q: My son is having a very small wedding in a destination wedding. A friend of mine wants to have a ...
A: It is absolutely proper to have your friends throw a shower (you should have nothing to do with the ...
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| Flowers for men? | 4/25/2009 |
Q: My brother is in a musical at his high school and I was wondering if it would be okay or correct to ...
A: Giving flowers at the end of a performance is something that is usually done for the stars of the ...
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| lady and woman | 4/23/2009 |
Q: You hold the door open and such for a lady, but do you do this for a woman? Let's say the woman is ...
A: Actually, you should hold the door open for anyone, man or woman (or lady or gentleman) who follows ...
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| baby shower | 4/22/2009 |
Q: I recently hosted a baby shower for my daughter. I put a lot of time and money into the planning of ...
A: It sounds like a wonderful time where the guests were enthusiastically enjoying themselves. There is ...
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| seating arrangements | 4/21/2009 |
Q: We are going on a cruise next month and there are 6 couples. At a table for 12, 5 seats each side, ...
A: Since you are going to be on the cruise for more than one meal, I suggest you take turns sitting at ...
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| Dinner Etiquette | 4/20/2009 |
Q: My sister, as a birthday present, offered to cook a lunch for my brother. He was to give her a ...
A: Your sister had the right to invite whomever she wanted to be part of her lunch for her brother. We ...
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| Addressing an envelope | 4/19/2009 |
Q: Is it still correct to use Mrs. and husbands first and last name if the wife uses his name? Ex. Mrs ...
A: When a woman divorces but retains her ex's last name, she substitutes her first name for her ...
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| name order for invitations and banners | 4/18/2009 |
Q: We are confused with who's name should be first; Male or female. Bridal Invitations, banner and ...
A: Wedding etiquette is still traditional so the man's name comes first. Think, Mr. and Mrs. John Doe. ...
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| High School Graduation | 4/14/2009 |
Q: My son is graduating from high school and I am having difficulty with the proper announcement. I ...
A: First of all I am sorry for your loss - even though it was a while ago. The etiquette rule is that ...
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| Donation | 4/9/2009 |
Q: I have a catering company donating all the food/labor for a charity dinner I am hosting. I do not ...
A: The best thing to do is to offer a tip to the servers, not the owner.If they don't accept, then ...
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| my childs graduation | 4/9/2009 |
Q: Is there a book for parents etiquette for their child college graduation? Is it okay to set up a ...
A: Since a college graduation is an event that normally warrants gift giving, it is ok to set up a ...
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| money gift | 4/7/2009 |
Q: I'm (16) good friends with a boy (19) who i chat online (I'm USA he's Canada). i told him that i ...
A: You are right to return his generous gift since gifts like that are never given without certain ...
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| 50th anniversary | 4/6/2009 |
Q: I, along with my 2 daughters are hosting a 50th anniversary dinner for my parents. I have 2 other ...
A: The invitations should list the names of the hosts and not others' names. You might write: Mary ...
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| graduation | 4/5/2009 |
Q: i am graduating from a 2 year college at 41 years old and would like to send out invitations to my ...
A: Maraj: First of all congratulations! You don't word it in any particular way. You just send the ...
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| MIL names | 4/4/2009 |
Q: I have been married for 12 years and my children are the only grandchildren. I am estranged from my ...
A: Proper etiquette mandates that we call people by the name they wish to be called, not what we choose ...
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| etiquette when entering a building/room | 4/3/2009 |
Q: When someone enters a room and says good morning to someone who is either in the middle of counting ...
A: If you are in the middle of something which disallows you to say the words since you are ...
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| Graduation name cards | 4/2/2009 |
Q: As a home-schooled student, I am planning my own graduation ceremony. I'm currently looking at ...
A: Whomever is your teacher, he or she has taught you well to even care about the details of ...
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| at the Bar | 4/1/2009 |
Q: Charlie and Mike go out for dinner. While waiting for a table, Charlie sits down at the bar and has ...
A: I can see that you invited the lady to join you as a kind gesture on behalf of Charlie, but the ...
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| Testing etiquette | 4/1/2009 |
Q: Cynthia, I read your answer concerning your distress at having someone test their blood sugar at the ...
A: Bierhaus: I don't believe I was the expert who answered that question - I can find another's answer ...
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| Canadian wedding "thank you's" | 3/30/2009 |
Q: My husband and I are U.S. citizens, living in Texas. We attended the wedding of his niece in ...
A: My mouth is wide open with surprise that anyone in Canada, or anywhere in the world would state that ...
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| An unmarried couple signing a guestbook | 3/29/2009 |
Q: My boyfriend and I have lived together for 12 years. A friend who is in the catering business told ...
A: Neither of your friends are correct. An unmarried woman, no matter with whom she lives or for how ...
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| walking bride down the ailse | 3/28/2009 |
Q: My step daughter has ask her father to walk her down the ailse to which he gladly agreeded. She now ...
A: Today's norms allow the bride to ask whomever she wishes to walk her down the aisle if there is no ...
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| Conversation Etiquette | 3/27/2009 |
Q: I am very well educated and well read compared to my acquaintances. In conversations with others, I ...
A: The key to socializing with people who don't share your intellectual acumen is to find topics on ...
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| barking dog! | 3/26/2009 |
Q: I have a new neighbor that has a dog. They keep the dog in the backyard and it howls and barks ...
A: : I can imagine your frustration. My guess is that your new neighbors don't realize that this is a ...
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| Who should sit on the horse? | 3/24/2009 |
Q: Who should sit on the horse and ride it through the Mardi Gras crowd? the boy or me? may I ask ...
A: Choosing whether a teen boy and young lady should ride the horse during the parade depends on you ...
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| engagement party thank you notes | 3/23/2009 |
Q: Do the engagement party thank you notes come from the bride only or both the bride and groom to be?
A: The bride writes the thank you for the both of them. She would write something like, "George and I ...
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| Etiquette for baby shower invitation | 3/21/2009 |
Q: the mom to be ask how do you ask your guest not to buy baby clothes? Yes she is registered. I've ...
A: There is not proper way in etiquette to ask for or decline gifts of any kind. The cute rhymes that ...
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| Asking for letters of recommendation | 3/20/2009 |
Q: Is there a right way and a wrong way to go about asking for a letter of recommendation from someone ...
A: The right way to ask for a recommendation is to call the professor on the phone. Don't send an email ...
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| Introductions | 3/18/2009 |
Q: Is it ever appropriate to say "Nice to meet you" before actually exchanging names, or should this ...
A: While it flows better to say, "Nice to meet you." after you have actually learned the other person's ...
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| Sympathy Card Etiquette | 3/17/2009 |
Q: Is it poor etiquette to send a sympathy card a few months after the person passed away?
A: Know that it is never a faux pas to express kindness to another person for whatever reason. A ...
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| Confused | 3/16/2009 |
Q: Greetings. A close friend of mine whom lives with her parents invited me to spend the night a few ...
A: Your friend is confused about what good manners are. It is never wrong to send a thank you for ...
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| Bar Mitzvah gift ( cash ) | 3/14/2009 |
Q: What is the appropriate amount of cash to give to a grandchild
A: The guidelines for cash gifts for a Bar/Bat Mitzvah gift are between $100 and $250. However, you ...
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| Baby Shower | 3/11/2009 |
Q: What is the typical protocol for where the mother-in-law of the mom-to-be should sit at her ...
A: There isn't a set protocol about seating charts at baby-showers. The rule of etiquette you are ...
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| Communicating with boyfriend's mother | 3/10/2009 |
Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year. We both know each others' parents well enough ...
A: Sudderth: Don't email your boyfriend's mother. Call her. Tell her that you appreciate the ...
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| Funeral Thank you cards | 3/9/2009 |
Q: My grandmother recently passed away. Along with cards, flowers, and food, many people gave ...
A: You should open them to see who gave to what charity in your Grandmother's memory and thank them ...
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| addressing same sex invitations | 3/6/2009 |
Q: What is proper etiquette in addressing an invitation to a married lesbian couple using the same last ...
A: In any marriage there is a "husband" and a "wife" role. My understanding is that it is the same in ...
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| Relationships with extended family | 3/5/2009 |
Q: I live 2,000 miles away from the rest of my family. Parents, sister (with husband & kids), aunts, ...
A: If this was a sibling's child I would say yes, you should go. Since it is a second tier relative's ...
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| family dinner | 3/4/2009 |
Q: My boyfriend and I, his parents and my parents are all planning to meet for the first time at a ...
A: The etiquette rule is whomever extended the invitation is the one who pays. However, my guess is ...
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| adoptive vs. biological parent | 3/2/2009 |
Q: My son was born out of wedlock. His biological father chose not to be in his life. I married when ...
A: Your children were and are wrong. Your husband could not have adopted your son if his biological ...
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| graduation announcement | 3/1/2009 |
Q: Our daughter will be graduation this year with a graduate level medical degree. We would like to ...
A: First of all congratulations to your daughter and to your family for supporting her to this point. ...
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| your sons girlfriend in your home | 2/26/2009 |
Q: My son is 29 and living with me, he moved back on my asking , reasons to help us both. He has a ...
A: It sounds as if your son's girlfriend is actually living with the two of you since it is an everyday ...
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| Group Thank You Gesture | 2/25/2009 |
Q: My co-workers threw a surprise baby shower for a co-worker and myself. What is an appropriate ...
A: What a lovely gesture for your co-workers to make. A simple handwritten thank you note is one of ...
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| NAMES ON PLAQUES | 2/24/2009 |
Q: MY QUESTIONS ARE ABOUT THE CORRECT WAY TO PRINT NAMES ON A PLAQUE. SOME OF THE NAMES ARE FOR ALUMNI ...
A: These are too many, and too involved questions. My work is handling these issues for organizations ...
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| Addressing the First Lady of the United States | 2/2/2009 |
Q: What is the proper way to address our First Lady Michelle Obama when sending her correspondence? ...
A: When addressing the envelope, you write Mrs. Obama The First Lady of The United States The White ...
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| funeral of an ex's grandmother | 2/1/2009 |
Q: i was married for 30 yrs. i was close to my inlaws (family).i have been divorced for 2 yrs now.i ...
A: If you were close to the grandmother or feel that out of respect you would want to attend, then go. ...
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| doctorate graduation day gift | 1/31/2009 |
Q: Our daughter is receiving her doctorate and I am not sure what is a proper gift to give her ...
A: When I received my Master's degree, my husband slipped a beautiful bracelet on my wrist right after ...
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| gift-giving, To open, or Not to open? | 1/30/2009 |
Q: This is a response and question, about a Christmas party I had and a person was asked to open a ...
A: Obviously Jan was upset by the situation and chose the response that made her feel most comfortable. ...
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| wedding invitations | 1/28/2009 |
Q: I have a complicated situation when it comes to composing my wedding invitations. My biological ...
A: First of all, congratulations on your upcoming nuptials. You do have a complicated situation which ...
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| Do I need to bring wine? | 1/27/2009 |
Q: I have been invited to a family party and I have been asked to bring appetizers. Since I am already ...
A: I believe you are referring to a hostess gift of wine. Since you are a host not a guest anymore ...
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| polite question | 1/26/2009 |
Q: We had dinner with two couples we have known for over 20 years. We all know each other's children. ...
A: I Western cultures, asking how much money someone makes is considered quite rude. However in Asian ...
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| car etiquette | 1/25/2009 |
Q: on which passenger seat should one sit in a chauffeur driven car?
A: The seat of honor in a car is the back, curbside, cattycornered from the driver. If you are the ...
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| obituary | 1/23/2009 |
Q: Is there a good way to include my son's live-in girlfriend who is also the mother of my grandson. ...
A: I am sorry for your loss. The obituary should say something to this effect - Left to mourn the loss ...
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| 50th birthday party | 1/22/2009 |
Q: I'm having a large 50th birthday party for my husband--very casual at a local bar/restaurant. I ...
A: By all means let your friends know that they are going to called on to make a toast or tell a story. ...
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| telling what to give | 1/22/2009 |
Q: Actually, I think I know the answer but reserve the question to you.....My husband's niece, age 17, ...
A: I believe you when you say you already know the answer to the question. It is always bad manners to ...
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| recipricating gifts | 1/5/2009 |
Q: I have a friend who is very good about sending presents to my kids at Christmastime. In previous ...
A: Never believe that someone doesn't want you to reciprocate with gift giving. You should give ...
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| family relationship and etiquete | 1/3/2009 |
Q: Basically, I am in the middle of my husband and my mother. At this point, I'm lost and don't know ...
A: I am sorry that you encountered so much stress this past Christmas. Your question is long and ...
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| How to put it nicely | 12/30/2008 |
Q: I have a wonderful group of women in my life and we are the best of friends. We support each other ...
A: How wonderful to have a group of friends who seem to love to follow your lead. As I see it you have ...
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| 25th Anniversary | 12/29/2008 |
Q: We are a blended family with 5 children and their spouses. The daughter and a daughter-in-law have ...
A: What a lovely thought. How about a bracelet or gold chain? It should be the same for both your ...
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| Is spouse invited? | 12/27/2008 |
Q: My circle of friends (all couples)gets together every once in awhile and says would you like to get ...
A: The dynamic of your group is couples getting together with other couples. Therefore, your husband ...
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| Party Donation | 12/26/2008 |
Q: Is there a way to ask for a donation on an invitation to a New Years Eve Party we put on? I don't ...
A: If the party you are planning is advertised to the public as a pay and play, then a fee can be added ...
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| gift receiving | 12/23/2008 |
Q: At a Christmas party I was given a gift by a guest there. This person, Gina, gave some a gift but ...
A: You did the right thing. It is incredibly rude to insist that someone open a gift that they receive ...
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| Theater Etiquette | 12/22/2008 |
Q: When taking one's seat in a theater, is it appropriate to face towards or away from those seated, in ...
A: When passing in front of other seat holders, you should have your back to them but saying excuse me ...
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| Gift for a Baby | 12/20/2008 |
Q: Good morning, I just received notice that a girlfriend's daughter gave birth to a baby girl. I've ...
A: You should send a gift for the baby. An outfit, blanket, Teddy Bear or something totally not needed ...
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| Christmas family dinner and gift exchange | 12/19/2008 |
Q: My sister "Amy" and her second husband "Robby" are hosting Christmas dinner and gift exchange at ...
A: You need only buy gifts for your family and others you wish to give to. If you don't know the ...
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| Christmas with Ex- spouse. | 12/18/2008 |
Q: We are traveling to Christmas at my wife's brother's house. My wife's ex-husband has been invited. I ...
A: You have the right to feel anyway you do. If you are uncomfortable with the situation, your wife is ...
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| Not giving thanks | 12/17/2008 |
Q: We recently had a gift exchange at work. It was a Secret Santa gift exchange and everyone had to ...
A: It is a shame that your coworker doesn't appreciate what others do for her. However, you cannot ...
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| new -nephew in law holiday gift question | 12/14/2008 |
Q: I have always given my nieces and nephews money for christmas. My niece married this fall. What is ...
A: The proper thing to do since you typically give money is to make a joint gift to your niece and new ...
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| Thank you note for a Boss' Thank you dinner? | 12/8/2008 |
Q: My husband's boss took about 14 couples to a very high end restaurant to thank them for the hard ...
A: The dinner you attended was a compliment for work you did. You do not need to send a thank you for ...
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| christmas cards after death of a loved one | 12/6/2008 |
Q: Is it proper etiquette to send a Christmas card to someone 3 months after the loss of a loved one.
A: Garofalo: Sending a Christmas card (if they are a believer) or any good wishes card to someone who ...
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| Considering and consulting | 12/4/2008 |
Q: ..My husband, who is English, now lives in Australia, is married to me and we have 2 children...2 ...
A: It sounds as if you and your husband need to be on the same page regarding visitors to your home. ...
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| Language and Manners | 12/3/2008 |
Q: My question pertains to the English language and proper etiquette. Is it considered rude to refer to ...
A: It is considered correct to refer to Jack as "he" in this example. It is better to turn to Jack in ...
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| farting in front of relatives | 12/1/2008 |
Q: MY HUSBAND AND I ARE SO DISGUSTED WITH HIS BROTHER FARTING AT EVEYONE'S HOUSES. HE DOES IT TO GET ...
A: Any bodily sounds are rude to share with anyone else, anywhere. Your Brother-in-law is indeed rude ...
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| Open House Gift Opening Etiquette | 11/29/2008 |
Q: I am hosting an Meet and Greet Open House for my cousin and her husband who recently adopted a child ...
A: What a lovely occasion! It is not a good idea for the recipients to open their gifts in front of ...
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| Serving Dessert | 11/28/2008 |
Q: How soon after dinner is it proper to offer and serve dessert?
A: Dessert is normally offered immediately following the entree or salad (whichever is the last course ...
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| former in-laws relationships due to death | 11/27/2008 |
Q: What is the proper designation of deceased spouses immediate family members (mother in-law, sister ...
A: Unless a new marriage adds a new current mother-in-law or sister-in-law, they retain their title. ...
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| long-term house guest | 11/26/2008 |
Q: My husband's brother is going through a divorce and needs a place to stay. He has been living with ...
A: You have every right to set whatever rules you want in your home. It is up to your brother to ...
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| blowing your nose at the table | 11/24/2008 |
Q: Is it polite to stay at the dinner table and blow your nose or should you excuse yourself from the ...
A: You should not blow your nose at the table. The purpose of good etiquette is to make others feel ...
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| 9 Yr Old Boy's Birthday Party | 11/20/2008 |
Q: I was wondering what the etiquette is for giving a favor at the end of the party. i have heard you ...
A: "Goody Bags" are the social norm for children's birthday parties. In the bag which is given to the ...
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| 1st Birthday Gifts for Out of Town Party | 11/20/2008 |
Q: We are throwing a birthday party for our daughter's first birthday in our home town on the other ...
A: I understand that you don't want to have to carry home presents that your daughter might receive at ...
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| HOME SICKNESS | 11/19/2008 |
Q: I am 24 years old, male, and doing MBA. I have always been closed to my whole family and friends ...
A: I suggest you tell them that you miss them but don't dwell on being sad without them. I don't ...
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| HOME SICKNESS | 11/18/2008 |
Q: I am 24 years old, male, and doing MBA. I have always been closed to my whole family and friends ...
A: Homesickness is normal for everyone who leaves what is comfortable and familiar. Since your reason ...
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| Social Situation | 11/18/2008 |
Q: Two other couples, who my husband and I wish to disassociate ourselves from, keep asking us to join ...
A: In everybody's life people come in and go out. If you and your husband are no longer interested in ...
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| etiquette | 11/16/2008 |
Q: when meeting another couple at a restaurant, and if we arrive early, should we wait in the car till ...
A: When meeting others for a meal at a restaurant, think of the restaurant as a home with an open door. ...
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| relational etiquette about buying gifts | 10/27/2008 |
Q: My husband and I just got into a fight about this but we wanted to get a friend of ours a birthday ...
A: Part of gift giving is the thought put into the item which you are giving. It is knowing the ...
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| Paying for birthday celebrations | 9/27/2008 |
Q: A close friend and I have birthdays within a week of one another. My partner arranged a surprise ...
A: This whole situation is rude. If you invite others to celebrate any occasion with you, you pay for ...
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| Family holiday houstguests-too many? | 9/26/2008 |
Q: My husband and I relocated to my in-laws area to help care for my paraplegic father-in–law. My ...
A: You are absolutely reasonable to say to everyone that having more than one couple who would use your ...
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| advice on encroaching priest | 9/25/2008 |
Q: We recently moved and keep our family home in hopes we will return in a few years. Our priest has ...
A: You are correct to feel like this priest is encroaching on your personal space. Tell him that you ...
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| walking etiquette | 9/24/2008 |
Q: Does the man walk ahead of or behind the woman
A: In Western society the man and woman walk together, side by side as equals.On a staircase the man ...
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| A colleagues Mother-in-law funeral | 9/23/2008 |
Q: Is there a rule of thumb on what is expected when your co-workers mother-in-law passes. The team is ...
A: In-laws don't have the same direct response as immediate family members so you and your team don't ...
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| dress code | 9/22/2008 |
Q: I am attending a business dinner function and the dress code says for women: country club attire. ...
A: Country club attire refers to smart pant-suits -for dinner, silk or wool or a fine cotton would ...
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| ENGAGEMENT | 9/20/2008 |
Q: JUST FOUND OUT MY GRANDAUGHTER GOT ENGAGED LAST NITE IN HORSE AND BUGGY RIDE IN CENTRAL PARK. I,M ...
A: I can understand your excitement. How wonderful! Your personal expression of pleasure and ...
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| Asking a question you know the answer to | 9/18/2008 |
Q: Is it polite to ask a question you know the answer to? e.g. Do you know how much I paid for this ...
A: It depends. Teachers ask students, parents ask children, and pundits ask their audiences questions ...
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| Letter to Mayor | 9/16/2008 |
Q: Good morning, I will be sending thank you letters to both the Mayor and the Deputy Mayor of New ...
A: The envelope should look like this: The Honorable Michael Blumberg Mayor of New York ...
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| proper use phd title | 9/13/2008 |
Q: would it be correct to introduce someone with a phd as doctor? would it be correct to use it on a ...
A: It is only correct to refer to someone with a Ph.D. as Dr. when he or she is in the arena of what ...
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| Graduation announcement/gift giving | 9/12/2008 |
Q: Both my grandmothers & mother have always told me that if you receive a graduation announcement ...
A: Your mother and grandmothers are very gracious women. Receiving a graduation announcement does ...
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| adult children manners | 9/10/2008 |
Q: 8 years ago my husband and the father of my 5 children died suddenly. 3 children were in college ...
A: I won't pretend to have the magic answer to this difficult situation but I want to share what I do ...
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| Signing a greeting card | 9/9/2008 |
Q: I have been dating a guy for about 6 months, we are both in our 50's and "starting over". We get ...
A: How do you feel about All the best,? My best wishes,? or for something more personal, ...
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| Late Arrivals | 9/8/2008 |
Q: Recently, a friend of mine gave a Birthday party for her son. It was very informal and she was ...
A: O'Neal: A host has ultimate responsibility to the guests on hand, not to go find where errant guests ...
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| Informal use of First Names? Which name is listed first? | 9/7/2008 |
Q: Jill and John Smith or John and Jill Smith I have always thought that the rule was never ...
A: You learned the etiquette rule correctly but there is still another reason to name the woman first. ...
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| Kiddies Party | 9/5/2008 |
Q: I am preparing the invites for my daughter's party (2 years old) : I am catering for the kids and ...
A: When you host an event and invite people to join you and to be your guests, you pay for everything ...
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| Sympanthy card with money | 9/3/2008 |
Q: My boss gave me a sympathy card with money in it to use as needed. What would be the proper "thank ...
A: You should write a note on paper that doesn't have "Thank You" already written on it. The thank-you ...
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| brother-in-law | 9/2/2008 |
Q: I was staying one night at my brother-in-laws house while he was away, and wanted to watch a movie ...
A: The proper etiquette of being a guest in someone's house (whether they are there or not) is NOT to ...
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| who pays.... | 8/31/2008 |
Q: my friend recently asked me to go away for her 50th birthday on short notice less than one week I ...
A: Your friend was looking for a paid-for-by-you celebration of her birthday. She invited you to spend ...
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| Head table/Class reunion | 8/28/2008 |
Q: We are having a class reunion with 60 attendees. Is it appropriate to have a head table which seats ...
A: The protocol of having a head table at a dining function serves the purpose of presenting the Master ...
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| etiquette question | 8/27/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend and I just got in a fight about this issue so I wanted to get a second opinion. On my ...
A: Good etiquette requires everyone around feeling comfortable. No matter how familiar someone is in ...
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| thank yous unreceived | 8/25/2008 |
Q: I have yet to receive a thank you from my niece and nephew (ages 51/2 and 81/2) for Christmas and ...
A: Kids rarely have good manners when the parents don't have them. That is the situation you are ...
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| office manners | 8/7/2008 |
Q: Quite often a co-worker and I (same lower grade) will be left out of luncheons and other activities ...
A: Campbell: It would be easier to answer your question if I knew whether the employees who attend ...
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| Invitation Etiquette | 8/6/2008 |
Q: I am throwing a housewarming party for a friend who would like to receive gift cards in lieu of ...
A: You can't ask for gifts on an invitation. You shouldn't ask for gifts at all - it is quite rude. An ...
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| wedding invites | 8/6/2008 |
Q: We are inviting a certain number of family and friends to the wedding with reception to follow. We ...
A: The way to do this type of wedding where some will be invited to all events and some to only the ...
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| wedding parties | 8/5/2008 |
Q: is it disrespectful for the groom to ask a married man to be in his wedding and not ask his wife
A: The groom can ask anyone he wants to stand up for him. The bride asks those she wants to stand for ...
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| How to limit stay of houseguests | 8/4/2008 |
Q: My inlaws came to stay this summer for a week; my house is small, they got on my nerves and I want ...
A: Since it is your house, you have control of the time that guests stay. The easiest way to handle ...
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| RSVP what to say to someone | 8/4/2008 |
Q: I am pregnant with my first child. My 3 co-workers and 2 good friends, and my God mother RSVPed that ...
A: The way to handle this situation is to call each person and kindly state that you had been looking ...
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| child relative birthday parties | 8/3/2008 |
Q: We are both great and great/great aunt and uncle to lots of nieces and nephews which we care about ...
A: You are not required to attend all birthday parties - go to the ones that are convenient and send ...
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| Work Place Pot Lucks | 7/31/2008 |
Q: In our office we have frequent pot lucks which the majority really enjoy. Sometimes we bring in ...
A: Since everyone has a choice in the matter and the ones who choose not to participate are still ...
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| Boss shouting my name from her office. | 7/30/2008 |
Q: My boss loves to shout my name from her office when she needs me and I don't like it... What should ...
A: Many times people beckon others in ways that are disrespectful like shouting their name from another ...
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| haircut | 7/29/2008 |
Q: My stepmother has a salon. She basically brings in most of the money these days as my elderly ...
A: When you use the services of a relative or friend, expect to pay full price and tip - just as if you ...
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| proper use of title | 7/29/2008 |
Q: Good Morning, How would you address a female mayor? Madame Mayor?
A: To address a woman verbally who is Mayor you would say Madam Mayor or Ms. Doe or Mayor Doe. To ...
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| Visiting relatives | 7/28/2008 |
Q: Cynthia, When relatives come to visit from out-of-state, is the proper protocol to announce your ...
A: The visitor needs to alert the locals that they are coming into town. This way, if the locals want ...
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| visiting hours | 7/28/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have a friend who makes it a habit to stop by early in the morning. We have three ...
A: You were raised properly. Visiting another's home prior to 9am without a specific invitation is ...
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| Differences | 7/26/2008 |
Q: Prior to sending off an email I may regret to I thought I would try asking you. My aunt and the ...
A: I am sorry about your family. The world certainly be better off if the people in it saw that we are ...
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| Engagement party gift | 7/25/2008 |
Q: I have been invited to an engagement party for the daughter of a couple I know. The party is to be ...
A: If you go to the engagement party, you bring a gift with you if it is small and lightweight. If it ...
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| Differences | 7/25/2008 |
Q: Prior to sending off an email I may regret to I thought I would try asking you. My aunt and the ...
A: To give you some guidance in this situation, first of all I must remind you that it isn't fair to ...
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| Adding Surcharge Information on Invite | 7/22/2008 |
Q: We are having a birthday party at a private club and all beverages will have to be purchased from ...
A: You can't invite people to an event and tell them they have to pay for any part of it. It is ...
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| gift card for a new born | 7/22/2008 |
Q: What is the proper saying for a card on a new born's present?
A: What you write on the card for a newborn's present is directed towards the parents, not the newborn. ...
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| Parents 50th approaching with sibling feud!! | 7/21/2008 |
Q: My parents are about to have their 50th anniversary in November. My only other sibling is my sister ...
A: My suggestion is to plan something that you think your parents will enjoy. I can give you some ...
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| Etiquette for a joint occasion | 7/18/2008 |
Q: Cynthia, I was married a few months back and at the time my wife and i were unable to have a ...
A: The key to celebrating two individually wonderful events during the same party is to call it ...
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| acknowledgement | 7/16/2008 |
Q: Recently, when I arrived right before dessert to a casual business dinner for my husband's work ...
A: A spouse who attends a business function with the employee is considered part of a whole entity. ...
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| Correct salutations for letters and mailings | 7/15/2008 |
Q: How do I address a letter to a family of doctors Dr and Dr Joe Smith? the Doctors Smith? Dr Joe ...
A: Since both the Smiths are doctors and they share the same last name you address the envelope like ...
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| Family Get togethers | 7/14/2008 |
Q: I need an idea for our family Christmas this year that will work. There are 17 of us including ...
A: The best advice I can offer is to speak to their mother before they come to the event. Whomever in ...
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| Family Get togethers | 7/14/2008 |
Q: I need an idea for our family Christmas this year that will work. There are 17 of us including ...
A: It sounds like the two ill-mannered children need to have buddies with them while they are in the ...
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| Thank You Cards | 7/11/2008 |
Q: I was recently married and am now working on our Thank You cards. I've been learning the Do's and ...
A: Congratulations on your recent nuptials. A thank you card is really quite easy. Only three ...
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| Wine brought by a quest for dinner | 7/11/2008 |
Q: When a quest brings a bottle of wine when invited for dinner, are you required to open the wine and ...
A: You are not required to open the wine for dinner. It is actually rude for the guest to insist you ...
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| wedding gift requirement | 7/10/2008 |
Q: We received a wedding invitation from a former friends child whom we do not know very well. Because ...
A: Proper etiquette mandates that you send a card with your best wishes. Unless you attend the wedding ...
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| House guests | 7/9/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have invited another couple to stay with us for a month while their new apartment ...
A: You should definitely deny the request unless you and your husband want it for yourselves after they ...
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| Invite In-laws to baby shower? | 7/8/2008 |
Q: My mother is throwing a baby shower for me and wants my husband's family to throw their own shower ...
A: It is in very poor taste (bad etiquette) for the mother of the mother-to-be or the mother-in-law of ...
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| mother vs. daughter (meeting boyfriend's parents) | 7/6/2008 |
Q: Cynthia Lett, Every once in a while my mother who is very controlling is known by close friends to ...
A: You are under no obligation to introduce your mother to your boyfriend's parents, especially since ...
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| Wedding shower and baby shower ettiquette | 7/2/2008 |
Q: My step- daughter lives in another state. She is coming here (our state to get married). Her sister ...
A: The two life events are very distinct and have their own etiquette. According to proper etiquette a ...
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| Dinner guests | 7/2/2008 |
Q: I invited two of my husband's cousins and their spouses to dinner one evening. I wanted the dinner ...
A: Your feelings are valid and your knowledge of proper etiquette is good. Both women were incredibly ...
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| Friends at work | 7/1/2008 |
Q: Lett, thank you for taking the time to read my question. I work at a daycare, which is a relatively ...
A: When you are asking someone to do the right thing, you shouldn't be worried that their perception of ...
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| House Guests (In-Laws) keep bdrm door shut | 7/1/2008 |
Q: Cynthia, I really have a problem with my in-laws. They keep their Guest Bedroom Door Shut tight the ...
A: You are not wrong that your in-laws are demonstrating behavior in your house that you are ...
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| Baby Shower | 6/28/2008 |
Q: My close friends are throwing me a baby shower. They asked me to register, so that it would be ...
A: Registering with a store or two for things that are your taste and for what you will need gives the ...
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| Not including in-laws in baby shower | 6/27/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have been married for 2 years. When we got married my aunt threw me a bridal ...
A: The problem you are describing started with your mother-in-law throwing a bridal shower after she ...
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| Family Tree | 6/27/2008 |
Q: I have an etiquette question i wonder if you could help with. My husband and I have been happily ...
A: It is a piece of jewelry, not a commentary on you and where you would be on a true family tree. It ...
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| Birthday Gift for 80 year old | 6/26/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have received an invitation to a "birthday brunch" for a friend of ours. She will ...
A: You must bring something for the birthday "girl". For someone who is older and can buy anything she ...
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| South African Etiquette | 6/25/2008 |
Q: I'm in a bit of confusion, because I'm 16 nearly 17 and my mother has arranged for me to stay with ...
A: I am so glad that knowing the right thing to do is important to you. I only wish more young people ...
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| hosting a get together | 6/24/2008 |
Q: As part of our pre-wedding festivities, we wanted to invite our out-of-town guests to enjoy one of ...
A: It sounds like you are sending an invitation to an empty room. You are not inviting them to an ...
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| Etiquette - extended family invitation to our vacation | 6/23/2008 |
Q: My husband, daughter and I have just booked a vacation rental house on the beach for a week. We ...
A: It would be rude of your father's wife to stay at the house when he is not there. The invitation is ...
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| Graduation Pictures | 6/21/2008 |
Q: My granddaughter graduated from high school recently. Her father (my son) divorced about twelve ...
A: I am so sorry that you are in this tug-of-war with your family. It sounds that you have been quite ...
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| 50th Anniversary remarks | 6/21/2008 |
Q: My parents are celebrating their 50th Anniversary by having an Open House. My mother has informed ...
A: Toasts should be short (a couple of minutes or three), honest and kind. Don't reveal anything that ...
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| Houseguest question | 6/20/2008 |
Q: I'll be staying at my aunt's house next weekend several states away for a set of parties she's ...
A: By all means bring a small gift for the housekeeper. The difference is that you should give the ...
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| last names | 6/19/2008 |
Q: It really bothers me that whenever I go into a bank, credit union, doctor's office and just about ...
A: D.: It is human nature for us not to want to be wrong. Our ego gets hurt if someone points out a ...
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| Dr. and PhD | 6/19/2008 |
Q: Is it proper to use both Dr. and PhD together? For example Dr. Karol White, PhD
A: No, you have a choice. Either the honorific goes before the name or the credentials go after the ...
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| MOB financial responsibility of daughters bridal shower | 6/17/2008 |
Q: My daughter is having a destination wedding, it's the second time marriage for the groom and they ...
A: First of all, congratulations on the upcoming wedding of your daughter. It is a little odd to have ...
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| Dining Out | 6/17/2008 |
Q: When dining out with another couple, we always split the bill in half. what is the etiquette when ...
A: A gift certificate is the same as cash. That is a fact but the situation you stated is not related ...
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| Opening Father's Day Card | 6/16/2008 |
Q: I was at my sister’s house and my stepdaughter stopped by to give me a Father's day card. I was ...
A: Burke: The etiquette in your situation depends upon your stepdaughter's expectation. Did she hang ...
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| VISITING CEMETERIES | 6/16/2008 |
Q: When visiting my parents graves recently we bought flowers and looked for empty cones at the ...
A: I am afraid he was right. Cones are purchased items that are set when the headstone is set on the ...
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| Neighbors | 6/15/2008 |
Q: Greetings, My family and I live in a quiet neighborhood with a few children.I have 4 children, ages ...
A: There is actually a secret to good "our children want to play with your children" etiquette. It's ...
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| i just told my mum her dad was not invited to my wedding | 6/14/2008 |
Q: i just told my mum her dad was not invited to my wedding it didn't go down well i got silence ...
A: I am so sorry that your family relationships are so difficult. Your mother's biological father has ...
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| Seating arrangements for couples at restaurant | 6/14/2008 |
Q: Please note I have asked this question before, but this is the answer I receive: ANSWER: <Error 187> ...
A: When two couples are dining the seating is this - the woman from one couple is seated to the right ...
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| Is my husband just quiet? | 6/13/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have been married for 8 years and I've always known him to be quiet, however his ...
A: There could be many reasons why your husband is so quiet and doesn't make an effort in social ...
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| Graduation invite | 6/13/2008 |
Q: I'm invited to a College graduation party for the son of a business associate. The party is 3-4 ...
A: Great graduation gifts are items that the graduate would use in his upcoming work. Nice pens, ...
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| last names | 6/13/2008 |
Q: It really bothers me that whenever I go into a bank, credit union, doctor's office and just about ...
A: D.: You were taught correctly that others should use an honorific and your last name when addressing ...
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| Boss asking personal questions | 6/12/2008 |
Q: Please help! My boss keeps asking me how much I pay for rent, and is offended when I reply that I ...
A: You are not out of line, he is. The next time he asks I would say either, "Too much" or "I have a ...
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| what to do about a friend that is causing issues within the group | 6/12/2008 |
Q: I have a group of friends that get together on a regular basis. We get together at least once a ...
A: Since this is new behavior on your rude friend's part, there is something that is triggering it. ...
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| How do I handle a new friend interrupting all the time? | 6/10/2008 |
Q: I have recently been socializing with a coworker outside of work and have noticed that she ...
A: It is hard to be friends with someone who disrespects you by not listening to you and acting like ...
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| visiting | 6/9/2008 |
Q: Recently my nephew was visiting his mom (my sister) for about a week. He was visiting from out of ...
A: The etiquette rule is that visitors are invited to get together with locals and then they can ...
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| Graduation invite | 6/9/2008 |
Q: I'm invited to a College graduation party for the son of a business associate. The party is 3-4 ...
A: You are under no obligation to accept any invitation you receive, no matter from whom. If you don't ...
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| Dinner Party & Food Allergy | 6/7/2008 |
Q: Attending a dinner party with friends tomorrow night (4 other couples) and found out tonight that ...
A: I am glad you asked your question. It is a host's responsibility to make sure guests have a ...
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| graduation announcements | 6/6/2008 |
Q: My son is graduating high school. He stops in to my work place various times and has even helped ...
A: First of all, congratulations to your son and your family. Your decision whether to send your boss ...
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| Signing a card | 6/5/2008 |
Q: I don't think this falls under the etiquette umbrella but... I am always stumped as to how to sign a ...
A: This actually does fall under the "etiquette" umbrella and thank you for asking. Since your ...
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| The semi-new sister in law | 6/5/2008 |
Q: So here the short and skinny. My brother and I were not really close growing up and about 10 years ...
A: Since your sister-in-law was a "stranger" or "guest" to your family before she married your brother, ...
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