You are here:
- Home
- Health/Fitness
- Self-Improvement/Self-Help
- Social Etiquette and Good Manners
Social Etiquette and Good Manners/Questions Answered by Expert William Hanson
| Subject | Date Asked |
| payment | 6/20/2010 |
| Q: My Mother is about to be 90 years old. We are taking her away to a location that will enable her ... A: I would suggest that you let people know by the telephone. This way you can make sure the potential ... | |
| Post lunch bad manners | 5/15/2010 |
| Q: My wife and I hosted an informal lunch for 45 of our friends (some 'closer' than others)a little ... A: My advice would be that you do not write the bad guest a letter - I suggest you rise above it, ... | |
| greeting cards | 4/28/2010 |
| Q: A friend and I have a difference of opinion regarding the correct way to sign greeting cards and a ... A: This may not be what you want to hear but there is technically no real rule for such an event. ... | |
| Invite Wording | 4/8/2010 |
| Q: Could you please advise me on etiquette/the proper wording for my invite? I belong to a membership ... A: I think you should send the invitation out and then the day the guest will receive it, drop her an ... | |
| smypathy banner | 2/18/2010 |
| Q: A dedicated fireman/chief/ems has died in our town. He was so didicated to the fire company for over ... A: Yes, I would say this is tacky and some will perceive it to be a tad disrespectful (even thought it ... | |
| Gift Receiving Etiquette | 2/11/2010 |
| Q: Can you please give your opinion? A few weeks ago, my boyfriend commented that I never gave him ... A: I think your boyfriend is being a little un-romantic here. Most couples like it when flowers, or ... | |
| Proper titles | 2/3/2010 |
| Q: If you are writing to a husband and wife and the husband is "Mr." and the wife is "Dr.", what is the ... A: There are several schools of thought hat I know of on this matter. 1) It is whatever the couple ... | |
| Immediate family - baby's first birthday | 1/29/2010 |
| Q: We have been blessed with a beautiful son who will be one year old this March. We do want to ... A: Although this is not strictly an etiquette question, I would advise that if the Aunt attends the ... | |
| Cancelling Attendance at New Years Eve Dinner | 1/25/2010 |
| Q: I have (had?) been friends with a certain lady, C, for the past few years, having met through our ... A: It was very bad for your friend to cancel, although sometimes one does have to pull out of events. ... | |
| Visiting Etiquette? | 1/23/2010 |
| Q: earlier this week, I commenced moving from my old home to my new home. We filled the truck, got to ... A: Deat Leoni, Your friends are at fault here and should not have intruded upon your mother when you ... | |
| listing contributors | 1/21/2010 |
| Q: I'm putting together a journal for a school fundraising event and I am unclear as to how the ... A: I think alphabetically is the fairest way and probably the best way to avoid any potential conflict. ... | |
| sunday lunch | 1/16/2010 |
| Q: my daughter and i have been invited for Sunday lunch with a family what would be a suitable gift for ... A: My preference is always a hard back non-fiction book. As obscure as this may sound, it is a very ... | |
| guests and boundaries etiquette question | 1/10/2010 |
| Q: My husband invited a friend over after exercising and she asked if she could use our shower. ... A: It was slightly strange of her to ask to use your shower - I am presuming that the woman is not a ... | |
| Etiquette | 1/9/2010 |
| Q: Should a man face the door or should a woman face the door when they are eating out? A: I think in modern times, very few people would have be aware of the guidance or the rule in itself - ... | |
| birthday gift exchange | 1/7/2010 |
| Q: we are going to a kids birthday party and when our friends were invited to our son's birthday party ... A: It is only fair that if they gave your son a present that one is given in this instance. That said, ... | |
| Thank you notes | 12/12/2009 |
| Q: 1. Does a 17 y/o or any age person need to write a thank you note for a pair of shoes or clothing ... A: Not knowing the relationship you have with the shoe-buyer, I would suggest that so long as you ... | |
| Christmas wish list manners | 12/9/2009 |
| Q: I have a family member who sends out a wish list of things her son wants for Christmas. She sends ... A: There is nothing bad in sending out a Christmas list. Some people struggle to think of presents for ... | |
| engagment party | 12/1/2009 |
| Q: I am invited to engagement party. Am I supposed to bring a gift? A: It would be a nice gesture to (unless they hosts have requested 'no gifts'). Nothing too elaborate ... | |
| thank you note | 11/30/2009 |
| Q: I was a guest at an engagement party given for my niece and her fiance. The person who gave the ... A: Thus, yes, you do need to write a letter. The host need not send TY letters to guests for just ... | |
| Dinner Invites | 11/24/2009 |
| Q: I am having a graduation dinner and want to invite some family and friends but I want everyone to ... A: I would suggest that nothing is put on the invitation but you ring your guests up after the ... | |
| tipping at a hotel | 11/18/2009 |
| Q: This question is slightly off the subject of etiquette, but would appreciate an answer. I recently ... A: It is customary to tip all porters and bell-boys who help you during your stay. If you don't wish ... | |
| 1 year old gift registry | 11/5/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to do a gift registry for a 1 year old's birthday party? Or is it only acceptable ... A: I think a gift registry for a one year old's birthday is slightly over the top. Whilst there is ... | |
| Greetings | 10/21/2009 |
| Q: My step-children walk in my home and do not acknowledge me, not a simple hello. They say hello to ... A: I agree with you - your step-children should acknowledge you. I can see why they would want to greet ... | |
| UK Cocktail dress code?? | 10/13/2009 |
| Q: Please can you tell me what the dress code for a Business function held in London which is described ... A: You should wear a cocktail dress (which should be knee-length or lower). A quick Google Image search ... | |
| Etiquettes with senior colleague | 10/10/2009 |
| Q: A senior colleague of mine has asked me out for dinner.Technically, he is not my boss as he is in a ... A: I would suggest that at the dinner you start off friendly but don't be over-friendly. Follow his ... | |
| White Tie Dinner | 9/21/2009 |
| Q: What is the proper salutation for a 12 year boy attending a white tie dinner? What is the proper ... A: If it's a white tie dinner, the boy should be in 'White Tie' (just like the other men). What do you ... | |
| FEELING INSULTED | 8/26/2009 |
| Q: I'm feeling insulted and treated like "the average person". Do you think it's an insult when your ... A: I don't think in this instance this was meant as an insult. Perhaps your ex-wife just wanted you to ... | |
| wedding attendance | 8/20/2009 |
| Q: My daughter just sent out her invitations. We have several married couples that are invited to the ... A: You are right to seek help in this matter - it is a tricky one. If the guest has already asked if ... | |
| Having a "past" that is not so pretty, but was sensational and used by others to soil my reputation | 8/7/2009 |
| Q: What do I do if in a public gathering, references are made or outright comments bringing up mistakes ... A: It is probable that these comments were used to hurt you so I would suggest that the best reaction ... | |
| Invitations | 8/3/2009 |
| Q: A colleague insists that as a Councilor when receiving an invitation to a function for both himself ... A: If the invitation is an official invitation the rules are: If the Cr is male: Councilor & Mrs. ... | |
| Opening doors | 8/1/2009 |
| Q: Should a man open the woman's door if she is driving the car? ANSWER: If you know the woman and ... A: Whatever happens, you should never make a thing about it or proclaim "Ladies first" in a smug ... | |
| GIFTS | 7/30/2009 |
| Q: We a family of 6 have been invited by our friends for a picnic lunch. The host family in their ... A: I think having a present on stand-by is a good idea. Although, if the hosts have said 'No gifts' ... | |
| addressing step grandparents | 6/13/2009 |
| Q: What is the proper way for a grandchild to address his step grandpa or grandma? A: So sorry for not replying sooner! My internet has been down and only just been fixed. I think in ... | |
| Summer Garden Party | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: My other half and I are invited to my father's 60th birthday party this week. The dress code is ... A: 'English Summer Casual' is more or less the same thing as 'smart casual', which normally means 'no ... | |
| Dishes | 5/19/2009 |
| Q: Just wondering I think it is rude to ask guest to help with the dishes when you invite them over for ... A: If it was a formal dinner party that I had invited guests over for I would never dream of asking for ... | |
| Addressing envelopes to married couples | 5/17/2009 |
| Q: I was taught always to address envelopes to married couples as: Mr. J. and Mrs. Smith rather than ... A: Morris, I have to admit that your question did stump me as I had never come across the first ... | |
| Graduation announcements | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: I am sending out college graduation announcements, but this would apply to high school graduation ... A: It would be perfectly acceptable to put on the back of the announcement card something like: ... | |
| Introductions | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: When an adult is seated, and a youngster or yound adult is being introduced, should the adult come ... A: In these modern times, where everyone is equal, I would say that in a social environment, it is not ... | |
| wedding and children. | 5/12/2009 |
| Q: my son is getting married in october, his two children are flower girls and will be attending the ... A: I think it would not be unreasonable for you to ask if your children could attend, however you ... | |
| Graduation announcement or invite | 5/10/2009 |
| Q: I received an announcement for my niece's HS graduation. There was no mention of an invite for the ... A: I would assume that you are not invited as it was just an announcement. An invitation may follow, ... | |
| Houseguests nuisance | 5/8/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I live in a city which attracts a lot of tourists and visitors. We get requests from ... A: I think that if you have stayed at their houses in the past it would be hard for you to say no for a ... | |
| Would you ask a pregnant friend/relative if you can stay over? | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: If you visiting a city out of town or in another country, would you ask to stay at a ... A: It would depend on how far into the pregnancy it was as well as if they had someone else there to ... | |
| Family gatherings | 4/21/2009 |
| Q: Our family recently had a large family gathering at my sister in laws house. It was a beautiful day ... A: If I understand your question to be 'was it wrong I started to clean up?' then I would say no, ... | |
| Greeting | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: When a person enters a room full of people who should say Hello first, The person entering the room ... A: There is no strict protocol for 2009, but I would advise that if it is a large room it would ... | |
| return addresses | 4/16/2009 |
| Q: My husband, our daughter and myself reside together in one home. My husbands son, who is my stepson ... A: If I understand that you are asking if it was wrong of you to not include his name on the labels, ... | |
| taking back a dish you offered to bring to a party | 4/6/2009 |
| Q: Is it considered rude for a guest or family member to take back the food item, that they've offered ... A: Yes, it is rude, although any food left over (at a family or informal gathering) should be divided ... | |
| Table manners | 3/27/2009 |
| Q: Is it bad manners to clean your knife on your fork whilst eating. Sometimes the knife gets a bit ... A: Yes, it is bad mannered. Depending on the event you are attending, you may provided with a ... | |
| Payment for singing at a funeral | 3/23/2009 |
| Q: Should you expect payment if strangers asked you to sing at a funeral? What is the proper timing on ... A: If you did agree a fee or payment in general with the bereaved then yes, it is perfectly acceptable ... | |
| unwelcome flattery | 3/22/2009 |
| Q: I am the American wife of a Vice President working and living in Thailand.I find it inappropriate ... A: I think you may have to accept this one and just ignore it as much as you can. However, the best way ... | |
| house under construction | 3/21/2009 |
| Q: We bought a fixer upper..and after a few years we are still working on it...and all we have left to ... A: Not knowing what you house looks like, it is hard for me to pass judgment, but if it is just a few ... | |
| Introductions | 3/18/2009 |
| Q: Is it ever appropriate to say "Nice to meet you" before actually exchanging names, or should this ... A: One should never actually say "nice to meet you" when being introduced. The expression is 'how do ... | |
| Visitors in the workplace | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: What is the rule for workers in an office having casual visitors? A: Visitors should not visit for long or interfere with work. Fifteen minutes is maximum and visits ... | |
| proper gifts | 3/11/2009 |
| Q: In a few weeks there will be a party from work, one of my colleges has offered to drive me there, ... A: A decent bottle of wine or box of quality chocolates is the usual gift. However, some people prefer ... | |
| exchanging a gift give to a friend for her birthday | 3/11/2009 |
| Q: I recently gave a co-worker a gift for her birthday. We share a classroom so we see each other ... A: Technically, no. Once a gift is given then the responsibility and ownership has passed and legally ... | |
| birthday party bills | 3/10/2009 |
| Q: i was invited by one of my friends to celebrate her birthday to a restaurant that she chosen. as we ... A: You are nit entirely to blame here, but you should have remained quiet about your disgruntlement in ... | |
| social etiquotte | 3/9/2009 |
| Q: After 20 years of marrige came divorce with 3 children.Exwife seperated communications for next 18 ... A: I would advise that a simple handshake would be best. However, it is normally the protocol to follow ... | |
| Greetings | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate for a woman to hug men when greeting. Please address this for single, dating, ... A: It is not inappropriate for a woman to hug a man on greeting so long as they already have met and ... | |
| Social Etiquette when Dating | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: Could you tell me your thoughts about when dating with a lady, if the guy is supposed to pay for the ... A: I am so sorry I did not respond to it sooner - my email and web server crashed on Monday night and ... | |
| What to wear if attending a Debutante Ball | 3/4/2009 |
| Q: I was invited to attend a debutante ball. I am only a guess, I'm 29 years of age and I want to make ... A: I am so sorry I did not respond to it sooner - my email and web server crashed on Monday night and ... | |
| title etiquette | 3/3/2009 |
| Q: We are hosting a tea for the present Earl of Southesk this summer and would like to know what is the ... A: You would address him in speech as 'Lord Southesk'. If you are referring to him to others in ... | |
| Graduating Twice in One Month! | 2/17/2009 |
| Q: I am a senior in college. My first college announced its' closing last semester, so I had to ... A: As a Briton, I am not overly familiar with the American system of 'announcements' - do you mean in a ... | |
| Being excepted into the high scool of ones choice. | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: My niece had her heart set on attending a particular High School with her best friend. Admission to ... A: The solution, I think, is not so much to do with etiquette to good manners, more to do with luck. If ... | |
| Who pays how much for a dinner bill? | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: Who pays how much for a dinner bill I joined 2 friends at a pub; they are engaged to be married. ... A: Either. It doesn't matter, to be honest. However, if it was split 3 ways, it could be argued that ... | |
| cell phones | 2/8/2009 |
| Q: Is it rude to continuously be on a cell phone when a guest in someones home? Is it rude to ask a ... A: Yes, it is very rude for a guest (or host) to be constantly on the phone, whether it be texting or ... | |
| weekend wedding etiquette | 1/31/2009 |
| Q: Is the brides family obligated to pay for the bed and breakfast lodging fees for the grooms family ... A: It all depends on the means of the groom's family. If they are more than capable to pay for their ... | |
| Origins of please and thank you | 1/28/2009 |
| Q: What are the origins of saying please and thank you? Also wondering when is history that social ... A: However, this is a very long answer and is a bit like asking 'how long is a piece of string?'. ... | |
| adressing envelopes to widows | 1/27/2009 |
| Q: What is the proper address for a note to a widow? Mrs. Charles Smith or Mrs. Mary Smith? A: Technically, it is still 'Mrs Charles Smith', but I know some prefer to revert to 'Mrs Mary Smith'. ... | |
| Social Etiquette | 1/22/2009 |
| Q: Hanson: My husband and I have a neighbor couple that we consider good friends. We've vacationed ... A: This is a very difficult one as there are so many people involved. At the end of the day, it was the ... | |
| Mr. , Mrs, etc. | 1/20/2009 |
| Q: For example, if you name is Robert Smith is it proper to address yourself or refer to yourself as ... A: You are correct. You should introduce yourself to someone as follows: YOU: Hello, Robert Smith. How ... | |
| Shower invitations | 1/18/2009 |
| Q: Some reletives live far away and would not be able to attend a shower. Should they be sent ... A: Yes, although one could argue that it is a waste, it is always best not to offend anyone, rather ... | |
| Bridal Shower cards | 1/17/2009 |
| Q: How do you sign a bridal shower card if you are the future mother-in-law of the bride? ANSWER: Dear ... A: Ah I see. Well, my grandmother signs cards to my parents as 'with love Mother', although she has ... | |
| Bridal Shower cards | 1/16/2009 |
| Q: How do you sign a bridal shower card if you are the future mother-in-law of the bride? A: As far as I am aware, you would simply sign the card with your name/signature like any other card. ... | |
| Collecting Guests From Airports | 1/15/2009 |
| Q: When going to visit friends overseas is it proper to be met at the airport? When I lived overseas I ... A: Whilst it is a nice hosting 'touch' to offer a personal collection service, it certainly isn't ... | |
| Name of my first born son | 1/15/2009 |
| Q: My wife and I are having a child. The child is a boy and we had decided to name him Jaden ... A: This is a difficult one to answer, as it involves such strong human emotions, which can be personal ... | |
| Bereavement Notes | 1/14/2009 |
| Q: My much loved mother in law died. My husband received a card from my step son (his son and daughter ... A: It is perfectly correct to address the letter of condolence to the one who has the direct loss, i.e. ... | |
Social Etiquette and Good Manners
Answers by Expert:
William Hanson
Top Expert on this page
Expertise
Domestic etiquette, international protocol, self-presentation/grooming, social manners, foreign customs, child etiquette, table manners.
Experience
I am regularly on television, radio and international media commenting on modern manners; I teach for international protocol and hospitality consultants 'The English Manner' (www.theenglishmanner.com), as well as instructing on my own. My youth gives me a fresh, contemporary perspective on the traditional, meaning my advice is current and up-to-date.
Publications
PRINT: Tatler, Sunday Telegraph, Waitrose Food Illustrated, The Observer, Practical Parenting, Aberdeen Press & Journal, Classic FM Magazine, Manchester Evening News, Gala (France), AMICA (Germany), SABADO (Portugal), InStyle (Germany), Somerset Life.
TV: BBC The One Show, BBC Sunday Life, Big Brother UK (as a commentator, not a housemate!), Channel M, Ladette to Lady, BBC The Big Questions.
RADIO: BBC Radio 5 Live, LBC 97.3FM, BBC Radio Scotland, BBC Radio Essex, BBC Radio Coventry, XFM Manchester ...for a current and full list, please see my website (www.williamhanson.co.uk)
Education/Credentials
Educated at Clifton College, Bristol, UK for 12 years. 4 A-Levels: English Literature, English Language, Theology, History.
Trained in voice at the world-renowned Bristol Old Vic Theatre School, UK.
Now studying for a BA (Hons) Degree at the University of Manchester, UK, in English Language.
Past/Present Clients
Client confidentiality is key in my business, but I have worked with worldwide brands, schools and charitable organisations, private households and individuals alike.
©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.