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| Subject | Date Asked |
| Who should give a baby shower? | 2/1/2012 |
| Q: My son's wife's mother informed me that the immediate family does not do the baby shower. I thought ... A: Brides and Expectant Mothers should be given a shower for their first wedding and baby only. The ... | |
| Book of Remembrance | 1/19/2012 |
| Q: Is there an etiquette about how to phrase an entry in a book of remembrance in regard to roles. My ... A: You may include any of the deceased's biographical information that you wish. Even if she ... | |
| Amanda Gamble, HSC course | 1/18/2012 |
| Q: My name is Sara and i am a current year 12 student. As part of my subjects for 2012 i have chosen ... A: What an interesting topic! I think your best bet would be to create a series of questions that would ... | |
| Grave Headstone | 1/18/2012 |
| Q: Why is the mans name,when married,always on the left and the wife's name is on the right? I have 3 ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. There is no hard and fast rule about the order of ... | |
| interrupt | 1/16/2012 |
| Q: is it ever correct to interrupt someone as they are speaking? A: Absolutely. Courtesy demands that you yell out a warning about an avalanche, no matter how badly it ... | |
| food | 1/16/2012 |
| Q: Recently a new friend was at our home. For desert we offered small handmade choclate treats. Our new ... A: You certainly may send or give him more if you wish,but it is not necessary. ... | |
| Sympathy Flowers to home or funeral home | 1/14/2012 |
| Q: My sister,s Mother-in-Law, whom I have never met, passed away. I would like to send flowers to the ... A: It is absolutely appropriate to send flowers for the service of someone whom you have never met. All ... | |
| wedding attire | 1/7/2012 |
| Q: My son will be getting married in October. It will be a black tie optional evening wedding. The ... A: The bride is absolutely correct. You may,in good conscience, wear the gown length of your choice. As ... | |
| gift giving to children | 1/7/2012 |
| Q: My son and his wife sent his nephews cards with money for Christmas. One nephew is 12 the other is ... A: No,it was not wrong to tell your son the consequences of his actions. Much depends,of course on how ... | |
| gift giving and receiving | 1/7/2012 |
| Q: My son and his daughter gave me a scarf for Christmas this year and did not get my husband of 30 ... A: How odd. Yes,if the family only had a certain amount to spend on gifts,a present that could be used ... | |
| wording on invitation | 1/1/2012 |
| Q: My husband is being honored by a group. He is being inducted into their hall of fame. We would ... A: Am I right to assume that you will only be invite a few people? If yes,a handwritten note to each ... | |
| Birthday gifts for adult | 12/24/2011 |
| Q: With my 60th birthday approaching, I would like to ask adult friends and family who live out of ... A: No one is never to assume that anyone is going to give then a present,so it is not appropriate to ... | |
| Family party etiquette | 12/20/2011 |
| Q: Gamble, My niece and her husband had a baby daughter three years ago.They live in the next town ... A: All parties have a beginning and an end time,even if it is not expressly stated. It sounds as if the ... | |
| Etching on a gift | 12/15/2011 |
| Q: I am giving my boss a special bottle of bourbon. Is it acceptable to put the following etched on ... A: Unless you work in a very small office where he normal boundaries between boss/employee are ... | |
| Announcements | 12/10/2011 |
| Q: My son is getting married next Saturday in a small private ceremony by a Justice of the Peace. They ... A: An announcement is merely news for people who might be interested in learning it. So,as soon as the ... | |
| signing christmas card | 12/7/2011 |
| Q: I am divorced 5 years and still communicate with my x's family. My children are in their 20's ... A: The children now living on their own shouldn't be included in the signature for the card. It is fine ... | |
| Christmas Card Etiquette | 12/6/2011 |
| Q: My father passed away on November 16. I want to include pictures on my Christmas card with him and ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. As it was such a recent event,of course you are not in a ... | |
| family secret santa | 11/25/2011 |
| Q: Every year my husband's immediate family has a secret santa. There are 7 of us, all adults, and our ... A: If the upstairs tenant was drunk,do you really expect her to remember what that little slip of paper ... | |
| Etiquette over Christmas Holidays | 11/21/2011 |
| Q: I have been engaged to be married for over a year to my fiancee. We've been together although we do ... A: When a man and a woman decide to marry,they are each leaving their families to form a new one. A ... | |
| adult traning | 11/19/2011 |
| Q: Gamble I was asked by my pastor to teach an etiquette class to the new members who are young ... A: Perhaps it would be best to have an informal discussion for the first meeting. It would give you a ... | |
| etiquette following a memorial | 11/18/2011 |
| Q: How do i respond to notes of condolences , gifts and support, after loss of my only sibling? Nieces ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Only if you and your nieces feel up to the task, please ... | |
| Wedding Invite Etiquette | 11/8/2011 |
| Q: So I am getting married in a few months and some questions about proper etiquette on addressing ... A: Your instincts are correct on most of them. It is "Dr. and Mrs. Smith". For a female doctor and her ... | |
| Gravesite etiquitte | 10/27/2011 |
| Q: I am in the process of adding my fathers name to a gravestone in several multi-generational plots. ... A: The monument company that will be making the changes will charge you the appropriate amount. There ... | |
| Overnight guests | 10/21/2011 |
| Q: I was raised that an overnight guest always strips the bed to assist the hostess the morning of ... A: When you are the guest,ask your hostess if she would like you to strip the bed,etc. It is something ... | |
| good humoured non response | 10/18/2011 |
| Q: Respected Mam, After browsing several web pages i have come across to this website.I have ... A: It sounds as if you are not mentally present when these friends and relatives are speaking to you. ... | |
| 1 female and 2 male co-workers expecting babies | 10/14/2011 |
| Q: I am in a quandry on what to do here. We have one female co-worker who is expecting and two males ... A: While I appreciate that you do not wish to make the men feel left out,please just give the party for ... | |
| Neighborly Fense | 10/11/2011 |
| Q: We bought our home 3 years ago and the neighbor always says he is about to clean up his messy yard ... A: You have spoken to him repeatedly and he (for whatever reason) is not interested in doing what you ... | |
| Appropriate First meeting gift. | 10/6/2011 |
| Q: My wife and I are going down to N. Y. city in a few weeks. We will be going out to diner with our ... A: Rissberger, Even if this boyfriend's mother is hosting the dinner,it is not necessary to take ... | |
| picking up the check | 9/23/2011 |
| Q: Our family is going to a restaurant to celebrate our parents 50th wedding anniversary. In attendance ... A: Please try to explain to your Mother one more time why it is important to you and your sister to ... | |
| Acknowledgments | 9/20/2011 |
| Q: A church member has sent a monetary gift in memory of several people, including some who died many ... A: Please do write a note to thank the donor of their gift in honor of their loved one. Grief and the ... | |
| Ex spouse etiquette | 9/20/2011 |
| Q: In the past 2 years my adult step-children have begun inviting their mother to functions pertaining ... A: This is a very complex question. You are correct in assuming that there are times when you will have ... | |
| fish menu for a large group of people | 9/19/2011 |
| Q: congratulations on your answers/ advice as they seem to be so helpful! I am in an awkward situation ... A: The menu is set and you should just trust that your co-workers will behave appropriately. It is ... | |
| Birthday Party Thrown For Me | 9/18/2011 |
| Q: .. Recently my husband threw a birthday party for me. It was suppose to be a surprise, but one ... A: It sounds as if the night just wasn't living up to anyone's expectations. It was everyone's fault as ... | |
| Tombstone Writing | 9/14/2011 |
| Q: My mother was predeceased by her husband (and is not being buried right next to him). She was also ... A: I am so sorry for your loss. It is perfectly correct to note that someone was a beloved________ even ... | |
| Baby Shower Ettiquette | 8/15/2011 |
| Q: My sister in law had a baby 3 months ago. After the baby was born, I stopped by to visit and ... A: No,you did not need to take another gift. If the thought of showing up empty handed makes you feel ... | |
| spreading my husband's ashes privately 17 yrs ago now being addressed | 8/15/2011 |
| Q: My husband died 17 years ago. I was 40, he was 50. At the time he died his relationship with his ... A: The last rites for your husband were yours alone to arrange as you saw fit. His funeral was attended ... | |
| Company at ones home | 8/7/2011 |
| Q: Is it acceptable to have guests at your home and periodically disappear to your bedroom for a period ... A: The automatic response is no,it is not polite to leave your guests so that you may read. You don't ... | |
| anniversary | 7/25/2011 |
| Q: My boyfriend is a widower and his wedding anniversary is coming up next week. He's been widowed 3 ... A: Please acknowledge that this day is coming up and then ask him what he needs or wants. Mourning ... | |
| 18th birthday and off to college party | 7/22/2011 |
| Q: I would like to give my son a potluck picnic for his 18th birthday as well as a celebration of him ... A: You may ask guests to bring a dish after explaining that it is a 'pitch in'. Then they may accept or ... | |
| Who should be invited to Sweet 16 | 7/21/2011 |
| Q: We would like to invite all the coaches who volunteer their time in our junior bowling league and ... A: Please do invite the spouses at a minimum. It is not necessary to invite the entire family. The ... | |
| Neighbors borrowing lawn equipment | 7/19/2011 |
| Q: I appreciate your help in advance. My wife and I have been racking our brains on how to handle this ... A: Have you considered getting a second hand snowblower to keep around for loaning out? I suppose it ... | |
| houseguest rooming with a stranger | 7/11/2011 |
| Q: I will be a house guest at the end of July while attending a wedding in a remote part of the US. ... A: I am sure the time you will be spending with this stranger will be very limited. The room is just a ... | |
| Inviting add'l guest | 6/24/2011 |
| Q: Friends of my husband and I are having a Garden Party something they do annually. It is set up like ... A: As this is an annual party and you know how informal it is, go ahead and call the hostess. Make it ... | |
| Death of a co-worker | 6/24/2011 |
| Q: A co-worker died yesterday. What is proper etiquette for removing his personal belongings from his ... A: Please know how sorry I am for the loss of your co-worker. You may box up the items from his office ... | |
| College graduation gift | 6/15/2011 |
| Q: I was just invited to a college graduation party for my co-workers husband. He just finished his ... A: Most non-traditional students are just looking to celebrate coming to the end of a long and winding ... | |
| Greeting guest | 6/9/2011 |
| Q: At a large party..daughters graduation, must the hostess greet guest first, or should guest say ... A: If the hostess can manage it,she should greet each guest as she sees them come in. With large 'open ... | |
| wedding/ monetary gift giving | 6/8/2011 |
| Q: My husband and I have been invited to the wedding of my daughter's friend whom we see about three ... A: Give what wish to give and make no apologies. If this woman is any kind of true friend to your ... | |
| Father of the Bride Invite W/O Wife | 6/8/2011 |
| Q: What is the proper action to be made by the father-of-the-bride--when his daughter has made it known ... A: It is up to the father of the bride to decide. I would first have a talk with the bride. A mature ... | |
| ex is business partner? | 6/7/2011 |
| Q: I'm going out with a guy who jointly owns rental property and land with his ex. She is always coming ... A: I am afraid I can't help you make peace with the situation. That would or wouldn't come from your ... | |
| Graduation Open House | 6/2/2011 |
| Q: When invited to an Open House for a relative, what if any, are the proper etiquette rules to ... A: It is perfectly acceptable to ask for sugar or silverware. You may not ask to see the areas of the ... | |
| Wedding Etiquette | 5/31/2011 |
| Q: We've been invited to an after party for a friend's son's wedding. This will be a big wedding and ... A: You do not need to take any kind of present to a post reception party. There are very few occasions ... | |
| men's hats | 5/29/2011 |
| Q: i have recently started to wear hats/not baseball caps but panama hats.they are quite expensive ,so ... A: Before John Kennedy made hats unfashionable,restaurants had either a coat check or more ... | |
| Disposal of Chewing Gum | 5/23/2011 |
| Q: Please advise, Yesterday my wife chastised me for spitting gum out the car window while stopped at ... A: It is unsanitary to spit in public. It should never be done if it can be helped. Gum is trash. It is ... | |
| College graduation ediquette | 5/20/2011 |
| Q: My daughter is graduating from college and has only a limited number of tickets to the ceremony She ... A: She should invite the relatives that she most wants to be there. What is important about this day is ... | |
| Save the Date & Invitation Question | 5/19/2011 |
| Q: I am hosting/throwing my own 40th birthday party this July. Because I know how busy people get over ... A: Please do not send an invitation to those people who have already declined. There is no good way to ... | |
| birthday potlucks | 5/19/2011 |
| Q: My fiancée and I received an invite to a birthday party for my brother's fiancée (who I really don't ... A: The cake is more than enough of a contribution to this party. Please ignore the gift request list ... | |
| Cocktail party..What to bring when told to bring nothing | 5/15/2011 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I will be attending a brief cocktail gathering at the home of and an acquaintance ... A: She put it in writing. That is a very strong indication that she means what she says. Take nothing ... | |
| Overnight guest at boyfriend's parents home | 5/15/2011 |
| Q: I am a post grad student meeting my boyfriend's parents for the first time and staying at their home ... A: Follow your instincts on this one. If you feel weird about sharing his room with him then it will ... | |
| Debutante Ball | 5/11/2011 |
| Q: Do the girls have to be in White if they are in Pastel colors what color tuxedo should the guys ... A: It is traditional for young women making their bow to society to wear white or very pale colors. The ... | |
| ex girlfriends son's graduation | 5/8/2011 |
| Q: My ex girlfriends son graduates from high school. I always liked him and got along with him. His ... A: Yes,by all means send the young man a sincere note of congratulation and a gift if you wish to do ... | |
| Mother's Day | 5/7/2011 |
| Q: I married my husband in 2004. He has 5 children from a previous marriage; I have no children. ... A: Put down the spatula. You are not to cook any meals on Mother's Day. Have a talk with your husband. ... | |
| ex is business partner? | 5/5/2011 |
| Q: I'm going out with a guy who jointly owns rental property and land with his ex. She is always coming ... A: If things are operating in a way that suits him,he will have no reason to change them. If it bothers ... | |
| Wedding attire | 5/5/2011 |
| Q: I am married to the father of the groom. They are divorced so the mother of the groom will also be ... A: Please ask the bride for guidance on this or better yet to go shopping with you. There are too many ... | |
| graduation celebration | 5/1/2011 |
| Q: My son (from high school) and I (from junior college) are graduating - my graduation takes place one ... A: The details of the joint celebration may be included in any announcements or invitations going out. ... | |
| Baby shower | 4/28/2011 |
| Q: my son is expecting his first child (out-of-wedlock) in July. I am the grandmother. I met my son's ... A: You have done the correct thing by attempting to get to know the mother of your grandchild. Please ... | |
| Surnames | 4/26/2011 |
| Q: My son wants to name his son after his deceased grandfather. His grandmother is still Mrs... No ... A: Absolutely. A "Junior" can only be given to the son of the man with the same name. A "II" ... | |
| Passing of friend's father-in-law | 4/26/2011 |
| Q: My girlfriend's husband's father (father-in-law) passed away. She has been my friend since ... A: Please address the card and your message of condolence to both your friend and her husband. It ... | |
| Funerals flowers | 4/23/2011 |
| Q: I have 3 siblings who all live hundreds of miles apart. When a close family friend passing away my ... A: If you wish to send your own flowers and notes,please ask your sister to stop including you on the ... | |
| Debutante | 4/19/2011 |
| Q: I have received an "announcement" from a college friend that her daughter has made her debut in ... A: No action is required. An announcement is merely a way to convey news. Think of it as a very short ... | |
| Out of Town Guest Query | 3/30/2011 |
| Q: I will be visiting another country and will be staying with a friend and her two teen children for a ... A: You do not say what country you will be visiting. As a general rule,no you would not be expected to ... | |
| pregnancy | 3/28/2011 |
| Q: My son (19) had a one night stand with a young lady (24) and now a baby is arriving in 2 weeks. She ... A: A.M., While I can certainly understand your point of view,I hope that you will go to this ... | |
| College Graduation of my 36 yr old Son | 3/25/2011 |
| Q: I'm wondering what the etiquette is re: my Ex-husband, my son (married w/one child) and I paying for ... A: If you wish to do something for your son,you certainly may. The parents of a 36 year old man have ... | |
| condolances | 3/25/2011 |
| Q: my mother-in-law passed away recently.is it required to reply to sympathy cards sent to us by mail? ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. No,you do not have to respond to sympathy cards that are ... | |
| trying not to be offended | 3/21/2011 |
| Q: This last Christmas I ended up getting our sister in law a $40 gift, and on Christmas morning she ... A: You should give gifts based on what you can afford to give as well as your level of affection for ... | |
| Teen Birthday Party etiquette | 3/20/2011 |
| Q: I hosted a birthday party for my son who is in 7th grade and just turned 14. Most of the guests ... A: This doesn't surprise me in the least. You are correct,the need for gifts as a highlight to the ... | |
| Potluck etiquette | 3/20/2011 |
| Q: I was at a womens social event. We all brought a pot luck item for the dinner part of the evening. ... A: , There is sort of an unspoken agreement that once the party is over you don't take food ... | |
| Funeral | 3/18/2011 |
| Q: my fiance recently passed away and its been very dramatic for me cause he literally died in my arms ... A: I am deeply sorry for your loss. Approach the family when you find an opening and phrase it in a ... | |
| Memorial services | 3/12/2011 |
| Q: When planning a memorial service how long is too long after the death. The deceased is to be ... A: Have the service when you are able. There is no 'correct time frame' for a memorial service in the ... | |
| Sweet Sixteen Party | 3/1/2011 |
| Q: I am throwing a sweet sixteen party for my daughter in our home. My daughter has chosen the colors, ... A: Any gift with strings attached that feel more like a noose is gift that you should reject as ... | |
| Graduation Second Masters | 2/23/2011 |
| Q: My husband will soon graduate from his second Masters Degree Program. Despite his many years of ... A: Throw the man a party! It is high time that he got to celebrate his achievements. Anyone may give a ... | |
| To give money or not? | 2/22/2011 |
| Q: I am 44yrs old and dating someone 26 who lives with at his fathers place. I currently was living ... A: Please do not give money in a card. Your instincts are correct,though. If you are living there as a ... | |
| solicitation @ the work place | 2/21/2011 |
| Q: My question is in regard to parents and grandparents soliciting @ work, on behalf of their children ... A: Not my favorite encounter with other people either. You only have so much money to donate to charity ... | |
| returning a gift of money | 2/19/2011 |
| Q: My sister that I had not seen in 25 year came for a visit but did not stay with me. While here I ... A: As I do not know why you had not seen your sister in 25 years,but if you want to keep or maintain ... | |
| new in the neighborhood | 2/11/2011 |
| Q: 2 weeks ago we moved in a new house. Busy with all chores we did not have time to look around. ... A: This is easy enough to solve - please go to the neighbor who sent the card for information. You may ... | |
| funeral monies | 1/26/2011 |
| Q: received monies for funeral from coworkers and religious friends who did not know my mother. ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. The money collected by your co-workers and friends was ... | |
| gift giving | 1/24/2011 |
| Q: I rarely receive thank you notes from my family members and friends for gifts, and staying at my ... A: It would not be tacky of you to ask your family members what they would like to receive as gifts. In ... | |
| addressing a former First Lady | 1/18/2011 |
| Q: What is the proper way to address (in speech) and list in print, a former Governor's wife? The ... A: When speaking to her "Mrs. Daniels" is the correct form to use unless and until she asks you to call ... | |
| SIlence in Conversations | 1/17/2011 |
| Q: My boyfriend isn't a very strongly opinionated person so often when we have conversations about ... A: No. He's your boyfriend you get to find any of his personality quirks or habits as annoying and/or ... | |
| Personal Questions | 1/3/2011 |
| Q: I work as a waitress while I'm finishing up college. A lot of customers ask personal questions about ... A: While it can be annoying certainly,it sounds as if they are just trying to take a polite interest ... | |
| Houseguest etiquette | 12/30/2010 |
| Q: Recently I was presented with a situation. My fiances 26 year old daughter, whom I consider an ... A: Both and neither. Perhaps need to get married and set some ground rules for who and what comes into ... | |
| Gift from future mother in law | 12/29/2010 |
| Q: My fiancee's mother in law is having a difficult time accepting our engagement because she is a ... A: There is nothing to be gained by refusing the gift. I am sure that it feels very disloyal to your ... | |
| Gifts - receiving | 12/29/2010 |
| Q: We have a small home. Is it appropriate to request that gifts not be too large, especially those ... A: If you are asked what you or your other family members would like for a birthday or other gift,it is ... | |
| gift unwillingly accepted | 12/28/2010 |
| Q: My fiance (we've been together 2-1/2 years, engaged for about 8 months) is uncomfortable accepting ... A: The etiquette is cut and dried. You are allowed to give someone to whom you are promised almost any ... | |
| Unwanted Baby Shower | 12/28/2010 |
| Q: My wife and I just announced to our families that we are having a baby. The day before we told our ... A: The good news is that you do not have to do anything that you do not wish to do. If this situation ... | |
| addressing envelopes to families with different last names | 12/28/2010 |
| Q: I read your answer to a previous question about addressing an envelope to a married couple that has ... A: This one is your call. How do you think of your household? I can understand not taking your ... | |
| Proper Response to an Insulting Gift | 12/27/2010 |
| Q: My son and daughter in law were given gifts by her brother and sister in law of lottery tickets($10 ... A: McGrail, The proper response is to say thank you to the gift givers. 'Thank you' is the only ... | |
| Extravagant gift | 12/26/2010 |
| Q: My son is casually dating a girl who came by on Christmas day (uninvited but not unwelcome)and ... A: Returning such an expensive and personal gift is the right course of action. Your son is dating this ... | |
| greeting card envelope etiquette | 12/23/2010 |
| Q: when attaching a greeting card to a gift, is it proper to place the recipients name on the outside ... A: I am sorry that I did not see this question earlier,I overlooked it somehow. Yes, it is absolutely ... | |
| waving your hand while talking to someone | 12/22/2010 |
| Q: Am I some how warped, or does the rest of the world also consider it rude to be waving one's hand at ... A: You are not warped. It is very rude to wave your hand in the face of the person whom you are ... | |
| Christmas card to divoring couple | 12/16/2010 |
| Q: My uncle is divorcing. There are young children involved. My gandma called me and asked that I not ... A: You are absolutely right to listen to your grandmother on this one. There is nothing wrong with ... | |
| gift giving | 12/15/2010 |
| Q: My boyfriend and I got into an arguement about "fairness" in gift giving to our respective children. ... A: So,in the interest of 'fairness' he spent as much on your son's rehab bills as he did for his ... | |
| remarried | 12/13/2010 |
| Q: I have been married to my husband for 17 mos. His first wife passed away. We have been together for ... A: There is nothing that can be done about the cards and invitations directly. The best you can do is ... | |
| opening wines that guest bring | 12/8/2010 |
| Q: I hope you can help me. There is an on going quarrel between my brothers wife and I.In October my ... A: You were right to open that bottle of wine. It was a casual party. It is sort of universally implied ... | |
| Christmas etiquette | 12/5/2010 |
| Q: Greetings. For the past two years, my mother's boyfriend has been starting various stuff with me, ... A: I am a little surprised that your mother allows this man to treat you so poorly. I am sorry. ... | |
| family portrait and a fiancé | 12/4/2010 |
| Q: Gamble, I am writing to seek the best advice on how to handle a situation regarding family portrait ... A: You must pretend that this woman is here to stay. That everyone is delighted with your ... | |
| Requesting the return of a gift | 12/2/2010 |
| Q: I have had a friend request the return of a gift. The situation is that the gift was purchased for ... A: Unless the gift was engraved or embroidered with the words "With Much Love To Aunt Ethel" the giver ... | |
| facial expressions when conversing | 12/1/2010 |
| Q: When one has had to disagree with one's partner in conversation, or to give evidence for one's own ... A: There are too many variables to give a 'one size fits all' answer for this question. Is the ... | |
| Years of Service Gift | 11/30/2010 |
| Q: After many years of working at an organization, I resigned and gave a two-week notice. At a going ... A: No,not it is not 'necessary',but it is thoughtful. As you say,you were handed the present by the ... | |
| Death and Family Calendar | 11/29/2010 |
| Q: We have a family calendar that is printed once a year. Last year my husband's mother passed away. ... A: This is a personal decision entirely. One of my sisters and I were just doing the same task for a ... | |
| Christmas Cards | 11/27/2010 |
| Q: My mother passed away in November. My father wants to send out Christmas cards informing people ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. I am sure that the next several weeks will be difficult ... | |
| Christmas cards | 11/22/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I have 2 children. I always included all 4 of us on our Christmas cards. Now our ... A: Once a child is living on his or her own,it is time to stop including them on the Christmas cards. ... | |
| music recital | 11/21/2010 |
| Q: My granddaughter is having her first recital.It is a private event with just grandparents attending. ... A: It is not necessary to give her anything,but what is the point of being a grandparent if you can't ... | |
| Thanksgiving dressing | 11/17/2010 |
| Q: I have invited my family (brothers, sisters, parents, aunts, cousins, nieces, nephews) over for ... A: You are the hostess. While it would have been nice if your guests had decided to abide by the ... | |
| Birthday cake/song | 11/12/2010 |
| Q: At what point in the birthday party (90th) should the song be sung & the cake cut? Middle or end? ... A: While there is no right or wrong way to have a birthday party,I tend to agree with you. The maximum ... | |
| Sympathy Card | 11/3/2010 |
| Q: My grandmother passed away, what is proper etiquette about giving a sympathy card to my uncle and ... A: As she was just as closely related to you as she was to them,you do not need to give them a card. If ... | |
| thanksgiving dinner | 11/3/2010 |
| Q: My husband has sole custody of his 3 sons by his first marriage. In April of this year the oldest ... A: As the hostess it's really your call,but in your shoes,I would welcome the girlfriend. Here is my ... | |
| Offer to pay for event | 10/29/2010 |
| Q: Im a maid of honor at my sister's wedding so its a part of the job to do the bachelorette party but ... A: Call the maid of honor and ask if she would allow you to be 'absentee hostess' by paying for the ... | |
| Birthday Dinner Party | 10/23/2010 |
| Q: I am hosting a dinner party in honor of my 65th birthday and retirement. Who makes the toast? A: May, You may give a toast,not in honor of yourself but to express thanks to your guests for all ... | |
| boss's day cards | 10/18/2010 |
| Q: My question, what is the proper etiquette in giving cards to co-workers on birthdays or bosses day? ... A: Pass the card around for whomever is there at the office to sign. Once the majority of people have ... | |
| Housekeeper etiquette | 10/10/2010 |
| Q: Recently, my housekeeper of 3 years told me that there were too many toys on my floor to justify her ... A: You are the employer. You need to set the parameters or what is and isn't part of her job. Perhaps ... | |
| Couple giving a ride to a male | 10/1/2010 |
| Q: Recently I agreed to give a male co-worker a ride home after company dinner, and my wife will be ... A: She was correct. You don't say what sort of a car you have,but almost no back seat is comfortable. ... | |
| Christmas cards | 9/29/2010 |
| Q: Recently divorced because of economy still live in same house hold holidays and birthdays do I still ... A: While it is nice that you get along well with your ex-husband, signing the cards jointly is gong to ... | |
| Stopped talking | 9/26/2010 |
| Q: I have a two-part question about something that has really been bothering me lately. I am the ... A: It is rude? Yes,incredibly. You are not this child's servant or paid employee. You are the mother of ... | |
| wedding engagement gift | 9/25/2010 |
| Q: Ideas for first granddaughter of several to become engaged fiance is leaving for active duty in one ... A: Sansone, As I do not know your budget or the tastes of the couple involved, I cannot give you any ... | |
| follow up to difference in public/private space | 9/19/2010 |
| Q: Below I'm including the first email I wrote to another person, I have a follow up question. She ... A: It won't be easy for you to do certainly,but you do owe Jason and your partner an apology. ... | |
| Etiquette for separated couple when one is undergoing major surgery | 9/17/2010 |
| Q: After a marriage of six years, my spouse and I are separated for nearly two years now. We are both ... A: I am not sure what "I had sponsored my spouse with child" means. But do what you feel is best here. ... | |
| thank you notes | 9/12/2010 |
| Q: Is it ever too late to send a thank you? My son graduated 8th grade last year and he wrote the ... A: By all means send those notes! These things happen. Blame it on the amnesia that strikes busy Moms ... | |
| Buying tickets from a friend | 9/8/2010 |
| Q: I recently received an email from a friend who was asking her network of email friends if anyone was ... A: Your friend misrepresented the cost of the tickets to you so that she could realize a measly 20 ... | |
| Christmas cards | 9/6/2010 |
| Q: When an adult child no longer lives at home but has not married, should his/her name still be ... A: Once the adult child has moved out and is supporting himself,it is time to stop signing his name to ... | |
| step grand daughter | 9/5/2010 |
| Q: My step granddaughter just got married.She has not been close to her grand father.When we asked for ... A: You already know the answer to this one,yes it is very rude. The real question is this --is it worth ... | |
| gift for puppy? | 8/31/2010 |
| Q: My son and his girlfriend just got a puppy. Should I surprise them with the gift or should I ask ... A: You can't go wrong by getting them a chew toy or a box of treats for the new puppy. No need to ask ... | |
| What to do with Food? | 8/29/2010 |
| Q: A friend of mine had a fantasy football draft over his house. I decided to bring 2 containers of ... A: The general rule is to leave the food that you brought with you . However,if there is some ... | |
| Death of estranged husband's mother | 8/29/2010 |
| Q: My mother-in-law was recently ill and just passed away and my husband and I have been ... A: Please write a condolence note to your father in law and anyone else (the sisters,etc) that you feel ... | |
| Baby Shower for 2nd child | 8/26/2010 |
| Q: I have been asked to help plan a shower for a 2nd child. If this proper? The grandmother is ... A: A shower is supposed to be a party given by the woman's friends. Never is it to be given by a family ... | |
| Should I attend my grandmother's funeral? | 8/26/2010 |
| Q: My grandmother just passed away and I'm wondering if I should go to her funeral. My mother has a ... A: If you loved your Grandmother and it is important for you to go to say your farewells,please do. ... | |
| Cards | 8/25/2010 |
| Q: When rec. gift cards or any cards from friends attending your retirement party should you open those ... A: Read the cards later. Acknowledge them along with the gifts (if any) and just tell them what you ... | |
| call back | 8/25/2010 |
| Q: my son and wife never return phone messages. i leave a message hi its me call me, they want a full ... A: There was no question in your message,so I will just go on the assumption that you want your phone ... | |
| Almost Ex Mother-in-laws funeral | 8/24/2010 |
| Q: My husband is divorcing me due to a mid-life crisis/affair. I did not want the divorce, but also ... A: 'Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.' Your in-laws dying before the divorce is final is ... | |
| Who Pays For a Birthday Vacation? | 8/22/2010 |
| Q: A friend would like to do a mini-vacation with friends to celebrate her 45th birthday. One person ... A: You are correct on this one.The trip really isn't about the 45th birthday,that is just a catalyst, ... | |
| what is appropiate for a charity donation | 8/22/2010 |
| Q: i am creating a hamper to give to a charity to pass onto a family in need at christmas time. my ... A: Generic or no name brands are fine to include if they are products that you use and like. The ... | |
| no social skills mother in law | 8/20/2010 |
| Q: My son and his fiance are expecting a child together, the girls mother has asked the people that she ... A: There are several different ways to respond to rude or intrusive questions: "What an ... | |
| death of an ex daughter in laws father | 8/15/2010 |
| Q: I have an ex-daughter in law that I have a good relationship with. Her father just died. Her ... A: Edwards, Please do the things that you would normally do to show your concern for a friend going ... | |
| Gift for baby shower hostesses | 8/14/2010 |
| Q: Two friends are throwing a Baby Sprinkle for me. It's an evening event that will last only a few ... A: Please send the friend hosting the party thank you notes after the party. Recount some of your ... | |
| wedding gift | 8/13/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I received a wedding invitation. Here's the dilemma- it is from a neihbor of over 4 ... A: "Express your sincere good wishes for the couple's future happiness and leave it at that." was meant ... | |
| Lending personal items | 8/13/2010 |
| Q: My sister recently moved close to me in May. Since then, both my husband and I have helped her ... A: Good heavens no! You are not wrong to refuse the request entirely. Nor is it wrong to put conditions ... | |
| wedding gift | 8/12/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I received a wedding invitation. Here's the dilemma- it is from a neihbor of over 4 ... A: Tell then that you are sorry that you cannot come. You don't have to say too much,but if pressed,the ... | |
| MULTIPLE EVENT PARTIES AND GIFTS | 8/5/2010 |
| Q: iF YOU ARE INVITED TO A BIRTHDAY, GRADUATION, CONFIRMATION BACKYARD BARBECUE DO YOU NEED TO PURCHASE ... A: Good heavens no! You never have to 'pay for the privilege' of beign invited anywhere as a guest. If ... | |
| dinner guest | 8/5/2010 |
| Q: We have been invited to casual vegan dinner hosted by a French couple. What should we bring as a ... A: Bonnie, Well scratch that then! It sounds as if all they really want is for you to go and have a ... | |
| dinner guest | 8/3/2010 |
| Q: We have been invited to casual vegan dinner hosted by a French couple. What should we bring as a ... A: Flowers would be just as appropriate and welcome in the vegan household as they are in the ... | |
| Baby shower etiquette | 8/3/2010 |
| Q: Do I need to get a gift for a baby shower I'm not attending? It is my husband's 1st cousin who we ... A: No,there is no need to send a gift unless you really want to. Please do write her a note or send a ... | |
| anniversary party | 8/2/2010 |
| Q: My 4 siblings and I are planning a 50th anniversary party for our parents for next summer. I was ... A: While it is a wonderful thing for you and your siblings to give your dear Mom and Dad a ... | |
| Acknowledge help from community during loss of loved one | 7/27/2010 |
| Q: I would like to know the proper etiquette and proper phasing for acknowledging and/or thanking our ... A: Please write a brief note to anyone who comes to mind as having been particularly helpful. Don't ... | |
| boyfriends mothers birthday dinner | 7/24/2010 |
| Q: My boyfriend's family is going to a country club dinner for his mothers birthday. This would include ... A: He is still thinking in terms of 'I' and 'me' while you are in the 'we' and 'us' stage. You say that ... | |
| Rock and A Hard Place - Personal Vehicles at Work | 7/19/2010 |
| Q: I'm between a rock and a hard place. The economy being what it is, I have taken a position as and ... A: You need to say something. Politely,of course,but speak up. "Fred,this past year at Mead and Son ... | |
| bridal tea/shower | 7/19/2010 |
| Q: Amanda, the women in our church is hosting a bridal tea/shower for my daughter. They would like to ... A: Please call it a tea. Showers originally began as small and almost impromptu parties given by the ... | |
| What are my roles as a maid of honor in a vow renewal? | 7/19/2010 |
| Q: What are the roles for a maid of honor in a vowes renewal? A friend has asked me to be her maid of ... A: Please ask your friend what she wants and expects from you. I know this sounds simplistic, but it ... | |
| Two Birthday Honorees | 7/17/2010 |
| Q: Gamble, My daughter received a 9th birthday party invitation from her friend (good buddy) at Day ... A: I think buying something that they can both enjoy is the perfect solution. There is nothing wrong ... | |
| Being a dinner guest | 7/13/2010 |
| Q: I was fixing an informal, but "structured" dinner -- Chicago Style hot dogs, complete with special ... A: Yes,a dinner guest should politely accept whatever is served by the host and eat what they can. ... | |
| Food Line Manners | 7/12/2010 |
| Q: At a Family Reunion dinner food buffet, what is the proper line-up of individuals, i.e., Seniors, ... A: The elderly and or infirm first and then parents helping their small children fill their plates and ... | |
| baby shower etiquette | 7/10/2010 |
| Q: I have a rather complicated situation regarding my baby shower. My aunts are hosting a dual ... A: You are over thinking this situation. You are the mother to be and the guest of honor at these ... | |
| death | 7/4/2010 |
| Q: a good friend passed away yesterday and widow is also a very good friend. when i called today to ... A: Gorman, Dropping by to see your friend is the only thing that is really needed here. If you feel ... | |
| my gift was sent back | 7/4/2010 |
| Q: My husband and his mother have never really gotten along but I have tried to keep peace in the ... A: No,this kind of behavior is not 'allowed'. It is inappropriate to say the least,but there is nothing ... | |
| ex-spouse | 7/2/2010 |
| Q: My girlfriend of three years has two children, one late 30s and one a couple years older. She and I ... A: It doesn't matter if your girl friend knows of no one who has a problem with this arrangement. It ... | |
| Sister-In-Law Sitting Duties | 7/1/2010 |
| Q: Gamble, I do not know how to handle this situation without severely displeasing my in-laws. My ... A: The world came to a dead stop for me when I read this line: "I nearly lost the baby due to a ... | |
| Awkward situation | 6/29/2010 |
| Q: A friend of mine recently witnessed a situation that left him baffled as to how he should respond. ... A: Ignoring the mishap is the correct thing to do if the person is handling the situation without ... | |
| a thank you note | 6/29/2010 |
| Q: Please help me with wording of a thank you note to the bride's parents who we do not know for their ... A: You do not say what your relationship is to the bride. Is she your future daughter in law? If this ... | |
| Beach House Invite | 6/26/2010 |
| Q: My aunt is letting me use her beach house for a week. Over the course of the week I am inviting ... A: No,it isn't rude or wrong. Simply say something like "Dana,I'm glad that you've found Fred,you seem ... | |
| Obituary | 6/25/2010 |
| Q: How do you include the name of an illegitimate child born during a 32 year marriage to a person's ... A: The child does not have to be named. Was there a parent/child relationship of long standing or was ... | |
| communication | 6/23/2010 |
| Q: My son is engaged. He is also deployed in the army. His fiance has little or no contact with us and ... A: Unfortunately,there isn't much you can do except for continue to stay in contact and keep extending ... | |
| funeral etiquette | 6/19/2010 |
| Q: When my dad passed away, my mom insisted on a specific seating arrangement. She would be first, ... A: First please know how sorry I am for your loss. While it is traditional for the family to occupy the ... | |
| twin gift giving | 6/18/2010 |
| Q: My twin boys graduated from high school recently and one of their friend's parents gave them $50 ... A: You are not required to give him two gifts as a family. If the boys each wanted to pick out ... | |
| Addressing divorced women circa 1966/67 | 6/17/2010 |
| Q: I'm researching genealogy and am confused about the way women were referred to in the mid-1960s. ... A: Unfortunately,as with 2010,people in 1966/7 people did not always follow the rules that were laid ... | |
| Inviting People to Going Away Dinner Party | 6/16/2010 |
| Q: I just invited some of my friends to my going away dinner party. Am I expected to understand that ... A: As the host of this party it was incumbent upon you to clarify the plans. This can be done by saying ... | |
| Found Money Etiquette | 6/11/2010 |
| Q: Gamble, I was chaperone to a group of four girls at a class trip, (including my 9-year-old ... A: As you already promised the girls you' split the money between them,you need to keep your word. ... | |
| Bare Feet | 6/5/2010 |
| Q: My mother-in-law (MIL) came to live with us a couple of years ago. Our house now is the shared home ... A: This is your house and you do have the right to set some rules for conduct in the common areas of ... | |
| Right thing to do | 6/3/2010 |
| Q: When you walk into a room where people are talking what should you do. A: Walk in and depending on the kind of conversation,either say hello or remain quiet until someone ... | |
| social situation | 6/2/2010 |
| Q: An old boyfiend of my wife was sending her messages, phone calls, inviting her out for beer and ... A: Married women should not go out on dates with former boyfriends. I'm sorry,but meeting him alone ... | |
| graduation | 5/28/2010 |
| Q: Is it proper to to give yourself a graduation party from a 1 year college at age 58? A: I apologize for the tardy reply,I was sure that I had answered you and was shocked to see the ... | |
| Graduation announcements to family | 5/22/2010 |
| Q: My daughter just graduated from high school. Because our family is geographically dispersed, she ... A: What do you hope to accomplish by lecturing your brother? He obviously does not feel close to your ... | |
| Answering a question with a question | 5/21/2010 |
| Q: I'm married and a constant battle I have with my wife is that she often answers questions with a ... A: It's not necessarily rude to answer a question with a question when you are looking for more ... | |
| Jr High Graduation gift for 13 going on 14 year old | 5/20/2010 |
| Q: attending graduation party for friends daughter. Have known her for 8 years. What would be the ... A: I cannot comment on the dollar amount. There is no one size fits all answer jsut as there are no ... | |
| restaurant seating | 5/18/2010 |
| Q: When dining out with your husband, who sits where? I recently was seated and my husband sat across ... A: When two people are dining out,they sit across from each other. Only teenagers who are in the throes ... | |
| Graduation Announcements | 5/17/2010 |
| Q: If you are not sending money, is a card of congratulations acceptable...or would no response be ... A: Good wishes for someone's future endeavors are always appropriate to pass along. I kept the notes ... | |
| party etiquette | 5/17/2010 |
| Q: I hosted a bridal shower for my daughter recently. I want to do the entire thing myself but when the ... A: What an odd duck! Look,you already know she behaved poorly,the question is...what to do about it? ... | |
| Inviting teachers to our home... | 5/15/2010 |
| Q: My daughter is finishing up her last year of preschool this year. We would like to invite all of her ... A: , Yes,it is absolutely appropriate to have this thank you party for everyone who has had a ... | |
| Friend Etiquette | 5/14/2010 |
| Q: I have an old friend (30 years)that I get together with about twice a year. We both have kids and ... A: It is not wrong to expect to have a leisurely visit when you only see this friend once or twice a ... | |
| mother's 90th birthday - $ gifts | 5/14/2010 |
| Q: We are planning a 90th birthday party for our mother who. like most seniors, lives on a fixed income ... A: No,there is no polite way to ask for gifts. Presents should never be mentioned in an invitation at ... | |
| Appying makeup at your desk at work. | 5/11/2010 |
| Q: What is the proper office etiquette on how much makeup a women can apply at her desk in a public ... A: A woman really should go to in to the bathroom to put on or repair her make-up. I wouldn't be too ... | |
| Graduation Invitations | 5/5/2010 |
| Q: Is is proper to send a graduation announcement to a family who also has a graduating senior from ... A: Graduation Invitations was your subject line,but your question said graduation announcements. They ... | |
| Graduate School | 5/4/2010 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to give a gift to your thesis advisor when completing the master's or the Phd? ... A: If you want (genuinely) to say thank you to someone who has guided and mentored you,you may. It is ... | |
| Happy Birthday Song before Presents? | 5/3/2010 |
| Q: I had my son's 12th birthday party this weekend and just finished eating and my son along with half ... A: You get to do things in the order that you wish to do them. There is no right or wrong when it comes ... | |
| Refusing flowers | 4/28/2010 |
| Q: My sister had a cat put down. Her four sister got together and sent flowers. She refused them, ... A: Wow. As it was a gesture of sympathy and support from her sisters,it was unkind of her to refuse ... | |
| Ask Guests to Pay Entrance Fee? | 4/27/2010 |
| Q: I am having a 60th birthday party at a park that has an entrance fee of $10.00. I am providing food, ... A: If they have to pay,they are not guests. A host/ess never gives a party that s/he cannot afford. Why ... | |
| hat and caps | 4/25/2010 |
| Q: Is there a difference between hats and caps socially? And if so is there etiquette differences that ... A: Yes and no. Hats,when worn by ladies (this is becoming rarer each year) do not need to be taken off ... | |
| BIRTHDAY WISHES | 4/23/2010 |
| Q: Is it bad etiquette to wish a mutual girl friend of your wife happy birthday. What would be the ... A: It is appropriate to wish a friend of your wife's a happy birthday. After all,the two of you are ... | |
| death announcement | 4/21/2010 |
| Q: My mother just passed away. Our family is going to put an announcement in the newspaper. Now ... A: Glenn, This is your decision. If this is the first significant person in your children's lives to ... | |
| should I pay? | 4/21/2010 |
| Q: My wife's birthday is coming up in about a month and I was considering asking some of her friends to ... A: A host never throws a party that he cannot afford. Let it be your treat if you can afford it. If you ... | |
| death announcement | 4/20/2010 |
| Q: My mother just passed away. Our family is going to put an announcement in the newspaper. Now ... A: As the spouse has abandoned the marriage (either by default or design) I'd say that they are no ... | |
| mandatory to attend? | 4/20/2010 |
| Q: My brothers step daughter is getting married. We do not know her very well. I am having difficulty ... A: If you are finding it difficult to attend and do not wish to go,simply decline the invitation. ... | |
| Divorce | 4/18/2010 |
| Q: My husband was previously married to a woman he had dated in high school. They were married for ... A: You don't say how long you and your husband have been married,but ifthis bothers you it is time for ... | |
| Wedding gift thank yous after death of spouse | 4/17/2010 |
| Q: A family member married in last year; a small wedding and everyone attending knew the husband's ... A: Anyone who has experienced the loss of a close family member is given a pass from the 'normal' rules ... | |
| etiquette | 4/16/2010 |
| Q: We are in our 50's and would like to know the correct etiquette for listing my name in his mothers ... A: You would not normally be listed as a survivor in the obituary of a woman to whom you are related. ... | |
| Daughter's Graduation From High School | 4/16/2010 |
| Q: My daughter is graduating high school. She has been solely raised by me her mother. My daughter's ... A: An announcement is sent after an event happens. It is merely news that you wish someone to have. An ... | |
| High school graduation announcements | 4/15/2010 |
| Q: What is the proper protocol for who to invite and who not to invite for high school graduation ... A: An announcement is sent after an event has occurred. It is just news that you wish to pass on to ... | |
| Professional title on headstone | 4/11/2010 |
| Q: Our uncle just passed away. He was a surgeon in the US Army. Is it appropriate to put M.D. after ... A: Yes,it is absolutely appropriate to put any biographical information that you wish on a grave ... | |
| husband's funeral | 4/10/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I have been married for 17 years. He has two daughters and a son from two previous ... A: If you want more scandal and drama,by all means block them from the funeral. Have a private service ... | |
| College grad. announc. | 4/9/2010 |
| Q: My daughter graduates in a few weeks from college. I would like to have a few announcements printed ... A: Announcements are always sent after the event has occurred,never before. Even when the details are ... | |
| HS graduation announcements for twins | 4/9/2010 |
| Q: My twin daughters are graduating from two different high schools next month. When sending ... A: It's Mr. And Mrs. Mike Rophone on the outer envelope or two lines (i.e.:) Judge Linda Rophone Mr. ... | |
| niece's wedding | 4/8/2010 |
| Q: Should I attend my nieces wedding? My brother's only child is having a 4:30 PM formal church ... A: What a mess. I would decline the invitation. The 26 year old's behavior is nothing short of ... | |
| Proper way to handle this.. | 4/6/2010 |
| Q: I am helping one of my best friends daughters, throw their dad a 40th birthday party. Another couple ... A: Please speak to the (host) couple and ask their 'permission' (in a sense) to throw this other party. ... | |
| College Graduation Announcements | 4/6/2010 |
| Q: My daughter will graduate with her masters next month. We want to send announcements but let people ... A: No one should ever be expected to pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere. Gifts are ... | |
| bare feet on leather sofa | 4/4/2010 |
| Q: My 16 year old daughter and I just returned from a five day visit with my mother and older sister in ... A: Your sister most certainly should not have screamed at her niece. Let's give her a break though. ... | |
| Family Visits | 4/1/2010 |
| Q: my question is: When family comes to visit us (we are 2 adults, 2 kids), how much are we expected ... A: Lee, You are already providing a roof over your guests heads,let the meals out be dutch and the ... | |
| Calling card title | 3/31/2010 |
| Q: I am a retired captain (34 years) from a large law enforcement agency. Is is proper to use the ... A: I was unsure of this answer so I asked a friend of the same rank and situation what he has done or ... | |
| Senior Recital/Graduation | 3/31/2010 |
| Q: I need help with the wording on my son's high school graduation announcements. Everyone will be ... A: Announcements and invitations are two different things. Announcements are sent after an event has ... | |
| City Council Etiquette | 3/30/2010 |
| Q: Gamble, I Have written an important letter to a member of the Detroit City Council. I want to ... A: Please address them as Councilman Doe. On the envelope Councilman John Doe ... | |
| Should a non-Jew wear a yarmualke? | 3/29/2010 |
| Q: Should a man that is not Jewish wear a yarmualke during a Jewish ceremony/service such as a bar/bat ... A: Covering or uncovering your head is a sign of respect depending on the religion/culture. It is just ... | |
| Who decides the restaurant? | 3/28/2010 |
| Q: My husband and I have a continual issue in dining at restaurants with my in-laws. They maintain that ... A: Split decision on this one. Yes,as the hosts they make the plans and choose the restaurant. As you ... | |
| RSVP Etiquette | 3/26/2010 |
| Q: While chairing a benefit committee I asked a pal to co chair. Week of rsvp deadline she finally ... A: While I agree that you should be able to take it for granted that a co-chairman of a committee will ... | |
| graduation | 3/26/2010 |
| Q: I have my youngest graduating from high school and my middle graduating from college. I am planning ... A: Either form is appropriate. You are holding one party for two boys so one invitation makes perfect ... | |
| (re)Adoption Celebration | 3/25/2010 |
| Q: I adopted a toddler in Russia six months ago. My State requires that I re-adopt her here to obtain ... A: Congratulations and by all means have that party. This is a separate ceremony after all. I am sure ... | |
| Tipping/ gift giving needed? | 3/25/2010 |
| Q: In several weeks I will be flying out to the home of a successful hollywood personality for personal ... A: This is a business transaction where you are paying someone for their professional services. A gift ... | |
| Birthday Present Requesting Etiquette | 3/25/2010 |
| Q: I recently received an e-mail from my sister-in-law about my nephews present for his next birthday ... A: "When training my own children on present giving/receiving I always tell them that gifts are a ... | |
| Female Letter Salutation | 3/23/2010 |
| Q: What is the proper salutation for a female company owner? Dear Ms. Dear Mrs. Dear Madam What is the ... A: Women in business should go by their own names,i.e. Ethel Barrymore. As using the honorific 'Mrs.' ... | |
| Is it polite to refuse a gift from a co-worker? | 3/19/2010 |
| Q: For the past four years I have worked with a small group of women who, when I started, had the ... A: Now that the gift has been sitting there,unopened on the floor of your cubicle for several ... | |
| Baby Shower | 3/17/2010 |
| Q: Is it proper for a grandma-to-be to give a baby shower for an out-of-state daughter who will be ... A: No. A bridal or baby shower is meant to be given by a woman's friends,never her family members. It ... | |
| Grave Marker | 3/15/2010 |
| Q: My mother recently passed away and was buried beside my father. My father died approximately 40 ... A: Headstones serve two purposes and you hit upon both things in your question. They are used to honor ... | |
| Ex-wife invited to child's birthday party | 3/12/2010 |
| Q: Ms. Gamble, My fiance's sister-in-law (his younger brother's second wife) is holding a first ... A: What a mess. These are not nice people. If the ex-wife and her mother hate you and are openly ... | |
| Adult birthday gifts | 3/11/2010 |
| Q: I have been invited to a birthday dinner for an acquaintance. The person giving the dinner is a ... A: You are never required to give a gift for any life event. However,if you are worried about being the ... | |
| Birthday Gift | 3/11/2010 |
| Q: My girls were invited to their cousins birthday party last week. We had to cancel that morning ... A: As you already have the present for the cousin,go ahead and give it to him and tell him again how ... | |
| 50th Wedding Anniversary | 3/9/2010 |
| Q: I was hoping you could tell me, when a couple is celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary and they ... A: They may skip the celebration,pay for it themsleves or be the guests of honor at a party thrown by a ... | |
| Helping a lady with her coat | 3/4/2010 |
| Q: I recently had a male stranger assist me with my coat. I had never met him and we have no mutual ... A: It is unusual for a stranger to help a woman with her coat,but as I was not there I can't say what ... | |
| Donation is Xmas gift | 3/1/2010 |
| Q: Last Christmas, very dear friends sent an email that instead of giving gifts, they would be making a ... A: No,you did not. If you got a general,non-specific e-mail how were you to know that the announcement ... | |
| parents want to be close to ex- | 2/26/2010 |
| Q: I have been divorced for 10 years, the cause was multifactorial on both of our parts, but my part ... A: Why after 10 years do they feel the need to visit him and rehash old events? That seems very odd ... | |
| Awkward in all situations | 2/26/2010 |
| Q: Anytime anyone is with me where I am placed in a leading role in a social/casual situation, I become ... A: This is more of a question for our psychology experts. You have gotten into a pattern that repeats ... | |
| visit sick friend/coworker | 2/26/2010 |
| Q: A friend/coworker had surgery and is staying home alone to recover. What would be visiting ... A: Usually the last thing a person recovering from surgery wants is visitors. Call to inquire how they ... | |
| Sympathy Cards | 2/26/2010 |
| Q: When you have received notice of a passing and you will be going to the funeral within a week, when ... A: Perkes, You may send a note of sympathy before or after the funeral,but please do not take it ... | |
| funeral parlor | 2/24/2010 |
| Q: What are the social behaviors that should be done when attending a funeral parlor? A: You are there to provide whatever comfort and support that you can to the family and other friends ... | |
| Daughter getting married | 2/22/2010 |
| Q: My 25 year old daughter has lived with her partner for the past five years. They have their own ... A: Your feelings are you own and you are certainly allowed to be hurt and upset. Your daughter should ... | |
| How to decline politely | 2/20/2010 |
| Q: My cousin has repeatedly written to ask if we can get together when she visits my area next fall. ... A: If you can't even bring yourself to have lunch with this woman, just say that it would not be ... | |
| Business card protocol for committee members | 2/19/2010 |
| Q: Any advise for business card protocol for committee members? They are unpaid volunteers who wanted ... A: If you don't feel that the committee members can use the cards appropriately,then make a blanket ... | |
| Injured Ex | 2/19/2010 |
| Q: My serious ex from a couple years ago got seriously injured in a snowboarding accident. I don't know ... A: First thing to do is relax. There is no correct way to feel. Your emotions are your own. Your ... | |
| birthday | 2/18/2010 |
| Q: is it proper for my current wife to arrange a birthday party at our house inviting her ex the sons ... A: You don't say who is having the birthday. I am going to assume that is a child from your previous ... | |
| Replacing a Family Headstone | 2/18/2010 |
| Q: I'm not sure if this is an etiquette question as such but I'd appreciate your unbiased advice ... A: It is not unheard of to replace grave markers. If the siblings are in agreement,then it is no one ... | |
| 40th Birthday Party | 2/18/2010 |
| Q: I am coordinating a 40th birthday gathering at a local wine bar in Chicago. I am renting the space ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Offer only what you can and do so without ... | |
| Group Trip | 2/17/2010 |
| Q: My friend invited me and two other women to celebrate her birthday with her in Hawaii. During the ... A: The woman should not have invited extra people on the trip,but at least she asked the hostess for ... | |
| How to Tell Someone They are Not Invited When They Still Refuse to Take No for an Answer | 2/16/2010 |
| Q: We are having a Bat Mitzvah for our daughter next month. We have invited the entire 6th and 7th ... A: It sounds as if she is being deliberately obtuse. You have told her in many ways as you can that she ... | |
| placing our 50th anniversary picture/info in newspaper | 2/16/2010 |
| Q: In placing our 50th wedding anniversary ad and picture in our newspaper,names of our children were ... A: Kottenstette, While it would not have been inappropriate to include the name of your children's ... | |
| daughter in law | 2/10/2010 |
| Q: My son and daughter-in-law have just announced that they are getting a divorce. I want to stay on ... A: For now,do what you have always done for past birthdays. With the news being so recent,there is no ... | |
| Family after divorce | 2/9/2010 |
| Q: I am a divorcee and my question is. My now x-brother in law and x-sister law have two kids. I am ... A: Merely introduce them to each other. You don't need to go into too much biographical information. ... | |
| multiple invitations | 2/8/2010 |
| Q: I am mother of groom and live 2 hours from bride/groom they live same town as MOB,etc. So far I ... A: No,you do not have to attend every single function,but you do have to be invited to them all. Talk ... | |
| weddin invitation | 2/8/2010 |
| Q: My husband's nephew is getting married(his mother is doing the whole thing)The wedding invitation ... A: Please give the young couple and their families a break on this one. Should you have had your names ... | |
| 50th wedding anniv. | 2/6/2010 |
| Q: We are planning our parents 50th wedding anniversary. Is it in-appropriate to plan it the week ... A: It is not at all inappropriate to hold the celebration in the days or even weeks before or after ... | |
| Adoption | 2/6/2010 |
| Q: We are adopting a foster child that we have had for two years. We are very excited and would like to ... A: Please do not give the judge a gift of any kind. I do not know what state you are in but several ... | |
| it's getting awkward | 2/4/2010 |
| Q: i met a mom in my daughter's kindergarten class last year and we hit it off. we hung out together a ... A: It is hard to form new friendships in adulthood that are beyond the casual one you describe. ... | |
| College Graduation Announcements | 2/2/2010 |
| Q: After taking a three year break from college to work, my 26 year old son went back to school to ... A: Absolutely. It is always appropriate to send out announcements. They have nothing to do with ... | |
| table manners | 1/29/2010 |
| Q: Is it bad manners to sing at the dinner table? A: What an interesting question. Why would you want to sing anything but "Happy Birthday" at the dinner ... | |
| Univited Spouse | 1/27/2010 |
| Q: My wife's friend had a birthday party & only invited my wife. I know the friend but we are not ... A: The only excuse for not inviting the spouse to a birthday celebration is if the party is gender ... | |
| ex mother in law passes away. | 1/26/2010 |
| Q: I was married for 25 years, my husband left me for another woman. Now his mother is in poor health ... A: You use the term 'children' four times in your question. While I understand and applaud your need to ... | |
| Thank you notes - what is too much? | 1/25/2010 |
| Q: I was just wondering if you could offer an outsiders' opinion on a 'saying thank you' situation. A ... A: You are over thinking this one. Relax. The first thank you was merely an acknowledgement that the ... | |
| engagement party gift | 1/22/2010 |
| Q: Last week my son's fiance's parents threw an engagement party, I was unsure what to give as a gift, ... A: A sarcastic thank you note is never an appropriate response to any gift,of course,but to write such ... | |
| thank you for memorial donation | 1/21/2010 |
| Q: if recipient agency of memorial donations sends thank you notes to donor,, do I, as family member of ... A: If you are up to the task,please do write a note. It doesn't have to be too long,a few lines will ... | |
| Lost/Found | 1/21/2010 |
| Q: While working for a public transportation company, there are may items that are lost on our buses ... A: My thoughts are these: 1) Does the company/government agency have a policy? If not,it may be ... | |
| Memorial Contributions | 1/20/2010 |
| Q: I have a question concerning contributions made in memory of someone who died. Is it improper to ... A: While you may give a memorial gift to a charitable cause not mentioned in the obituary, it still ... | |
| Invitation to an Open House | 1/17/2010 |
| Q: We have been invited to a "Open House" to celebrate friends new house. It is not called a House ... A: Only if you wish to do so and don't have to think too hard about what to give them. Buying a present ... | |
| addendum to "how to decline" question | 1/16/2010 |
| Q: (this relates to my previously sent question - sorry I didn't send earlier) p.s. Previously, my ... A: S., No,it doesn't really change my response,but I do now see why you feel more guilt! You do not ... | |
| 40th B'day | 1/16/2010 |
| Q: I would like to know if its considered proper etiquette to register to Tiffany's or any department ... A: Gift registries have nothing to do with etiquette. They were started by merchants who wanted to ... | |
| how to list family | 1/13/2010 |
| Q: I really need this answer asap -- sorry -- my 13 year old sister is involved in a important school ... A: Your sister will most assuredly not be the only child with an unconventional family. If the point is ... | |
| my family & their relationship with my ex | 1/9/2010 |
| Q: I had been married for 18 years with 3 kids. I have a large family and some of them are staying in ... A: I am not sure what advice you are seeking in this instance. Wow. Let's go with what we know for ... | |
| Hosting my own Birthday Dinner | 1/8/2010 |
| Q: I am turning 40 in 2 months. My friends are all very busy in their lives right now. I was wondering ... A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for almost any reason. If you phrase the invitations in the ... | |
| Issues With My Adult Stepson | 1/5/2010 |
| Q: I am 44 years old and have been married 16 years to man who came into the marriage with a teenage ... A: B., Oh dear. Well as the saying goes "As the twig is bent the tree is inclined". It's too late to ... | |
| Birth/Death Announcement | 1/4/2010 |
| Q: A co-worker recently gave birth to identical twins, but one died soon after birth. What's the ... A: A short note may be sent on plain writing paper in black ink. I will give you a template: Dear ... | |
| Gift to daughter for PhD graduation | 1/4/2010 |
| Q: Our daughter will soon be completing her studies for a Ph.D. in Virology. What is an appropriate ... A: There are no limits on what a parent may give to a child as a gift. No matter if it's for a Ph.D. ... | |
| Taking wine and food to a party | 1/2/2010 |
| Q: Would it be bad manners to take wine, hors d'oeuvres, or dessert to a party without asking or ... A: If you expect her to serve them,yes. It would throw her menu into disarrangement. A bottle of wine ... | |
| Woman or man's name first | 12/31/2009 |
| Q: What is the proper etiquette when addressing a card to a woman and man? When signing your first ... A: There is no 'right or wrong' here. Even the late great Emily Post showed the names in both ways. ... | |
| debutante club protocol | 12/31/2009 |
| Q: My son was an escort for a debuntante several years ago, and I was not invited to the event. My ... A: I can't imagine in 2009 that being a 'divorced single mom' would be cause to bar you from any club ... | |
| check as a coworker gift | 12/30/2009 |
| Q: I work as a church musician, and during the holidays a few members of the congregation like to show ... A: Send a thank you note indicating which charity you have donated the money to. It solves the problem ... | |
| good words | 12/30/2009 |
| Q: i want to invite all the high rank people to our office christmas party but i dont know what to say. ... A: Loney, I have never gotten a question from your country before,welcome! Please just use the ... | |
| death | 12/27/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to send a sympathy card just from me to my husbands sisters who live across the ... A: You are correct,it is his loss as well and there is no need for siblings to send each other flowers ... | |
| son's girlfriend | 12/20/2009 |
| Q: We are wondering what the etiquette is for giving a Christmas gift to our son's girlfriend. They ... A: Gifts are never required. They should be given because you wish to so. If they were married,I would ... | |
| visiting etiquette | 12/20/2009 |
| Q: We are NJ residents and our 17 YOA daughter wants to visit her 23 YOA boy friend staying a his ... A: Your child who is a minor in the eyes of the law,objects to you being responsible parents by calling ... | |
| debutante party | 12/18/2009 |
| Q: Amanda, I am invited to a debutante party at a restaurant. My invitation reads: "7-9 Receiving, 9 ... A: Where is the fun in that? The adults get to pay for the party but they are forbidden to stick ... | |
| Wedding RSVP | 12/18/2009 |
| Q: My Aunt recently informed me that she had committed, months ago, to babysit her grandchildren the ... A: Please tell her that you are sorry that she will be unable to attend,but you understand that she has ... | |
| Travelling | 12/17/2009 |
| Q: When leaving on a trip should people call you to say good-bye or should you call them? When ... A: When someone is leaving either party may initiate the call. If the caller is not the one who is ... | |
| birthday gifts | 12/17/2009 |
| Q: Son-in-law is about to turn 50 and we want to have a surprise party for him. His wish is to go to ... A: It is not terrible because you said the magic word-"family". Who among us has not 'chipped in' for ... | |
| announcing a death via the mail | 12/16/2009 |
| Q: My father just passed away, with it being the holidays we'll be having a memorial later in January. ... A: Please for give the tardy reply. If your mother feels up to the task of writing the cards, she ... | |
| Lending a car to a friend | 12/15/2009 |
| Q: Hey Amanda, I recently lent my spare car to a friend so he could go to his finals for college on ... A: So,in effect he wanted something for nothing. The use of a car and gasoline at a critical moment in ... | |
| Death and the ex - what do I do | 12/14/2009 |
| Q: My husband's ex passed away. This woman caused nothing but problems to my husband, his other ex ... A: As the children are all now adults,you do not need to attend. Let your husband go to the services ... | |
| Gift giving | 12/13/2009 |
| Q: What is the statue of limitation for giving a birthday gift after the birthday party is over? Is it ... A: The gift should be given at the earliest opportunity,of course. If you are not going to see the ... | |
| Office Birthdays | 12/11/2009 |
| Q: I work in a small office (a local government) with about 20 employees. Traditionally when someone ... A: Oh for heaven's sake. What fun is life if we don't celebrate the small things? Should the parties ... | |
| etiquette | 12/10/2009 |
| Q: friends of ours lost there only child to an accidental death. He was at a friends house and a ... A: While the accident was undoubtedly horrific and heartbreaking for them,they are probably trying to ... | |
| Sympathy card to son-inlaw | 12/9/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to send a sympathy card to my son-in-law with regard to the lose of his father and ... A: Your daughter suffered the loss as well. Even if she was not particularly close to her father in ... | |
| Dating | 12/9/2009 |
| Q: I have been going for walks with one of my classmates for about two months now and plan to ask her ... A: I apologize for the late reply,I felt I had to consult some experts of my own. Namely,my nieces and ... | |
| My graduation party | 12/9/2009 |
| Q: My daughter was so helpful in making my graduation party invitations and sent them out to my church ... A: Offer to your guests only that which you can comfortably afford. They will come to see you and to ... | |
| Returning gifts previously given | 12/7/2009 |
| Q: I was taught that to give a gift back to a giver is not only rude but should never be done, if you ... A: A gift should be accepted with thanks even if it is something that the recipient does not care for. ... | |
| Titles (?) given to step - step grandchildren | 12/6/2009 |
| Q: What is the relationship between a person and a grandchild when the grandchild is born to your ... A: I am sorry to report that I am siding with your wife on this one. When it comes to a "step" ... | |
| Baby Shower | 12/6/2009 |
| Q: My best friend and I are having babies 2 months apart. We are from the same hometown, but we each ... A: You (and your friend) should have no say or part in planning a party where you are the guests of ... | |
| table manners | 12/5/2009 |
| Q: Many years ago, I was taught it was appropriate to cut three pieces of meat at a time. Is this ... A: It is acceptable to cut a few pieces of meat at a time. Cutting one bite at a time is time consuming ... | |
| gift | 12/5/2009 |
| Q: My sister-in-law has bought a Mickey mouse t-shirt for my 18 year old step-son...he's a college ... A: The only appropriate response to any gift,no matter how poorly chosen,is to say thank you. What is ... | |
| Invitation etiquette | 12/3/2009 |
| Q: Several weeks ago I sent out an evite to a party I have hosted for the past several years. The party ... A: Please call them and invite them to the party. Say you were looking over the invitation list (they ... | |
| No Gifts Please | 12/3/2009 |
| Q: I am a Leasing Consultant in a Social Services Program... and I work with quite a few people from ... A: Put up a sign,but say "As of January 1st,2010 Employees of X Agency Are No Longer Permitted To ... | |
| friend leaving "gifts" in car or car port or by front door | 12/3/2009 |
| Q: I am a woman who lives alone and deal with multiple issues, cronic fatigue from Lupus and ... A: Sometimes with those people we are closest to,it is time to put aside formality and get down to ... | |
| Debutante Brunch | 12/1/2009 |
| Q: My daughter and I have been invited to a debutante brunch being given for two sisters that are close ... A: Do you mean a brunch given for the girls either the day of or the day after their dance? That is how ... | |
| Family Gathering and Allergies | 12/1/2009 |
| Q: I have a dog, my brother has a baby that is allergic to dogs. We had a brief baby / dog encounter (5 ... A: If there is a chance of endagering your nephew's health,of course the dog should stay behind. A pet ... | |
| Christmas after a death | 11/30/2009 |
| Q: My youngest son died six months ago. There are people I've known for a long time but only send ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. It must be a very difficult and stressful time for you as ... | |
| eating | 11/30/2009 |
| Q: I wanted to ask if it was considered impolite to have a 16 girl who has very good table manners to ... A: It is inappropriate if others find it offensive or disgusting to look at. Please ask her,for the ... | |
| Sorority function | 11/27/2009 |
| Q: I am attending a formal sorority party. My friend is a member of the chapter but I am not. I ... A: If the sorority colors are navy and white,by all means wear the dress as no one would give it a ... | |
| Family visits | 11/26/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I visit with his brother and sister-in-law for Christmas every year, alternating ... A: Ah! The double edged sword! When you are the guest,you should conform to the rythms of the household ... | |
| Thanksgiving reservations | 11/26/2009 |
| Q: I am acting the hostess this Thanksgiving family members that may not have anywhere to go, as my ... A: The person who bears the blame here is your brother. Why did he raise his daughter to behave in this ... | |
| Invitation to a dinner party | 11/25/2009 |
| Q: I have been invited to my son's in-laws for Christmas dinner. I have met them only once, 10 years ... A: Yes,if you want to make a baklava for them please do. Your instincts are correct when it comes to ... | |
| dinner invitation | 11/25/2009 |
| Q: What would be the proper gift to give a hostess you don;t know? A: A consumable like wine,fine chocolates or flowers. Well,flowers are not to be eaten,clearly, but ... | |
| Self-Invited guests to Thanksgiving Dinner. | 11/24/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting a large gathering in my home for Thanksgiving this year. We have planned on roughly ... A: The best thing to do is to say nothing and hope that they have made other plans. You do not want ... | |
| gift enchange | 11/23/2009 |
| Q: should you ever return a gift to the giver? a few years (2) back my BIL got my name in the family ... A: Please do not give the cards back to him. We are often hurt and disappointed when other people do ... | |
| Christmas after Divorce | 11/22/2009 |
| Q: I have a sticky situation that I'm not sure what to do about. My mother-in-law divorced her third ... A: Yes,by all means,make the card. No gift is ever required,so while you don't 'owe' him anything it ... | |
| Standing - to shake hands, when someone enters the room | 11/22/2009 |
| Q: Recently I was at a fairly formal dinner and my pastor who is also a prominent professional in the ... A: That he corrected you at all is shocking. That he corrected you in public is beyond the PALE. You ... | |
| deb ball | 11/21/2009 |
| Q: I have been invited to attend a deb ball for my son's girlfriend, I am unable to attend, do I send a ... A: As it is your son's girlfriend,it would be a nice gesture to send a bouquet of white flowers to her ... | |
| unsociable behavior | 11/21/2009 |
| Q: Planned ahead family gathering at a 4th of July outing to watch Stone Mountain fireworks, laser ... A: The son is upset by his own girlfriend's rude behavior? That is how your question reads so I hope I ... | |
| Thanksgiving Etiquette | 11/20/2009 |
| Q: I have a dilemma that I don't know how to handle. My mother-in-law has invited my parents over to ... A: I am a bit confused,when she accepted the invitation did she tell you M-in-L she was bringing the ... | |
| Unwanted guest at Family Thanksgiving Dinner | 11/20/2009 |
| Q: My husband invited someone that I despise to our Family Thanksgiving dinner after we discussed it ... A: This is your call to make,not mine. You made your wishes known to your husband,your next of kin,and ... | |
| the returning univited holiday guest | 11/20/2009 |
| Q: How does one insist that an adult nephew (by marriage)make his own lodging arrangements when his ... A: Your nephew is not picking up on the social cues (subtle and not so subtle) for this situation. You ... | |
| Seeing my Father for first time in 27 years | 11/19/2009 |
| Q: I am seeing my Father for the first time in 27 years. We will be meeting face to face in a ... A: Why do you need for your father to know this information? Is it a control issue? This is a ... | |
| Christmas gifts | 11/19/2009 |
| Q: Times being what they are, I would like to stop sending gifts to those people that I am not as close ... A: Dear Family, With the state of the economy as well as the fact that we are all already ... | |
| overnight guest | 11/19/2009 |
| Q: Having to fly quite some distance at quite an expense to attend my neices wedding, my sister offered ... A: You already know the answer. You did nothing wrong. This man is an abusive ass. I can't imagine how ... | |
| jewish gay wedding | 11/19/2009 |
| Q: My brother is finally getting married (58 yrs old- a dynamic intellectual and awesome guy). They are ... A: That sounds like it is going to be a great party. My only advice is to have fun. If you have gay ... | |
| Theatre curtain calls | 11/18/2009 |
| Q: Is is appropriate to hiss or boo as a sign of appreciation at the villain during a curtain call? ... A: In the spirit of the over the top over acting done at those types of plays,it is absolutely correct ... | |
| Christmas Party | 11/17/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting a Christmas party at my home with family and close friends. In addition, some of my ... A: I understand your anxiety,our professional lives and our work lives can't help but to become ... | |
| Wedding Gift for Hairdresser | 11/16/2009 |
| Q: My hairdresser is getting married around Christmas. I always give her a generous Christmas gift. ... A: Whatever you want to give her and can afford is what is appropriate. I cannot give you a dollar ... | |
| Engagement/Wedding Invitations | 11/15/2009 |
| Q: My son and his finance announced their engagement 3 weeks ago. Now they are planning on sending out ... A: An announcement is merely information. You send them to people who might be interested in learning ... | |
| Dinning out with a group | 11/15/2009 |
| Q: One evening I (age 19) happened to be out with my boyfriend (age 18) when my mother called to invite ... A: You did exactly the right thing in thanking the woman who actually paid the bill. If your Mom had ... | |
| 50th Wedding Anniversary | 11/10/2009 |
| Q: Is it proper to have a cash bar at a 50th Wedding Anniversary Party? A: Technically,no. But as a guest at far FAR too many functions where the hosts (in a reasonable and ... | |
| suspenders and belts | 11/9/2009 |
| Q: I am not overweight and do not need this to hold up my pants, but I like the look of wearing a belt ... A: I am sorry that I didn't address the question head on for you. I will do so now. This is not an ... | |
| Lunch Etiquette | 11/9/2009 |
| Q: While fortunately, I cannot complain about intentionally horrendous behaviours from my ... A: That your Mother in Law is Jewish has nothing to do with the situation as I see it. That she is ... | |
| Informal Family Gathering | 11/9/2009 |
| Q: A relative and myself were discussing about getting our family together at our cousins restaurant. ... A: Don't be hard on yourself,this is much different than sending out engraved invitations and then ... | |
| Thanksgiving invites | 11/8/2009 |
| Q: My brother was recently married and now his wife's family is a part of ours. For Thanksgiving I ... A: Your new sister-in-law should not have simply invited someone else to your Thanksgiving dinner. It ... | |
| my family & their relationship with my ex | 11/3/2009 |
| Q: I had been married for 18 years with 3 kids. I have a large family and some of them are staying in ... A: While I can appreciate not wanting to go into detail with your family on the exact causes of the ... | |
| Christmas Card/Recent Death | 11/2/2009 |
| Q: In January of this year a good friend from high school passed away unexpectadly. We lived in ... A: Please do send the cards. It will most certainly be a difficult time for the whole family, but it ... | |
| restaurant etiquette | 11/2/2009 |
| Q: I was out to dinner with my husband at a fine restaurant. During the course of our meal, a couple ... A: Berger, You did the correct thing. The man just said hello spontaneously because you caught each ... | |
| questions | 11/1/2009 |
| Q: How do I address my wedding invitation to my godfathers widow? Is it also proper to send her a ... A: She is Mrs Milford F Renquist until the days she dies or until she remarries. It is not ... | |
| First Date - Is Housewaming Gift Appropriate (just moved into new home) | 10/30/2009 |
| Q: I will be going on a first date with a guy that I know through friends. He will be moving into his ... A: Err on the side of caution and pass for now. The home will still be new for several more months yet ... | |
| Invitation not wanted | 10/29/2009 |
| Q: A female co-worker is getting married within the year and she plans on inviting everybody in the ... A: Simply wait for the invitation to arrive and then decline it politely. Sending your regrets closes ... | |
| surprise birthday party | 10/28/2009 |
| Q: my mom is giving my dad a 60th surprise birthday party and was wonder was it ok to register for ... A: Jenkins, No,it is not appropriate to register for gifts for a birthday. People are to be ... | |
| Sending Invite to Someone Who Had Death in Family | 10/27/2009 |
| Q: We are christening our daughter and would like to invite a close family whose daughter sadly passed ... A: Life goes on and inviting this family to the Christening is appropriate. Do include a note ... | |
| signing cards | 10/26/2009 |
| Q: I live with my boyfriend but generally I sign birthday cards to my family etc with just my name. Is ... A: Clearly your family members know that the two of you live together,so if you want to sign both ... | |
| How to educate relatives about etiquette rules when they visit me | 10/26/2009 |
| Q: My husband's nephews and nieces visit us almost every weekend as they live in the same town. They do ... A: You do not say how old these nephews and nieces are,but it doesn't matter really. This is your house ... | |
| How to Deal with my Brother-in-Law's Wife | 10/22/2009 |
| Q: My MIL has a favorite child who is now married. Because of his status in her eyes, she desperately ... A: There is not much that you may do without causing a great deal of trouble. Your Mother in Law is not ... | |
| Wedding Invitation | 10/22/2009 |
| Q: Recently we sold our house. Our realtor mentioned that the buyers were a nice young couple about to ... A: What a thoughtful gesture you made towards this couple. As you cannot attend the wedding, please ... | |
| Obituary Question | 10/20/2009 |
| Q: My father in law passed away a few weeks ago and my sister in law and I were both very hurt when the ... A: You most certainly are family. You were the daughters in law of the man who died. It counts as does ... | |
| first birthday party | 10/18/2009 |
| Q: My parents are divorced and so are my husbands. My daughter is turning one in November and I am ... A: The time to put your foot down is now. If you give into these demands and have three birthday ... | |
| My sister in law | 10/17/2009 |
| Q: my question is about my sister in law. Long story short my husband died in a car accident last year ... A: Thompson, Please know how very sorry I am that you find yourself in this situation. You are not ... | |
| daughter in law | 10/16/2009 |
| Q: When my daughter in law speaks of me to my son or daughter she refers to me as "Mary" instead of ... A: She calls you Mary? How odd. Does she give any reason for calling you by a completely different ... | |
| Boyfriend's grandfather's birthday present? | 10/14/2009 |
| Q: My boyfriend's grandfather's birthday is coming up and his mum suggested to my boyfriend to bring me ... A: Yes,chocolates are the perfect choice for this Grandfather. Any luxury item that is consumed is a ... | |
| grandson nickname | 10/12/2009 |
| Q: My son and his wife nicknamed our grandson,their son, Tre. He is a Steven the third. We don't care ... A: How can calling a child by it's given name be disrespectful? It's on the birth certificate. Just ... | |
| Conversations in party atmosphere | 10/12/2009 |
| Q: I like to entertain and have most relative get-togethers at my home for multiple generations. ... A: When your guests are not strangers to each other,but members of the same family,the hostess does ... | |
| Extended family - gift giving | 10/9/2009 |
| Q: What is the appropriate way to handle gift giving to extended family members? Our daughter is ... A: Your brother is free to do as he wishes. Your idea of having him send a general card and let his ... | |
| Wedding etiquette | 10/8/2009 |
| Q: My wife's cousin was in a very serious car accident yesterday. It is very questionable at this time ... A: The groom and his family might not be in the mood for much gaiety,let them lead the way and set the ... | |
| Signing cards | 10/7/2009 |
| Q: Our son has just recently moved out to begin his first job in Minnesota. Normally, I sign cards ... A: When the child moves out,it's time to stop signing his or her name. However,you may write "I'm sure ... | |
| Wedding Ring Etiquette | 10/6/2009 |
| Q: When my father passed away roughly a month before his wedding date two years ago, his fiancee picked ... A: It would have been entirely correct and appropriate for her to have returned the rings as part of ... | |
| Appropriate protocol for fundraising members | 10/5/2009 |
| Q: I work on a series of committee's at my daughter's private, non-profit, all girls school. Being ... A: Outrageous. If you are working an event that you helped organize,you do not pay for tickets. Nor ... | |
| sharing a tip | 10/5/2009 |
| Q: My guestion is, I am a bartender and the other night we had a 50th anniversary party for 35 people ... A: To whom was the extra hundred dollars given? If it was to you and you wish to split it, then please ... | |
| Comments on House Size | 10/4/2009 |
| Q: I own a home that is much larger than most of my friends. Occasionally when we have people over ... A: If you don't wish to respond,you don't have to. Simply letting the comment and the moment pass is ... | |
| proper form of address | 10/3/2009 |
| Q: How does one properly address a female Methodist bishop? Thank you, MM A: Bishop Winsby in conversation and The Reverend Ellen Winsby of (Methodist area designation) for an ... | |
| Get well card after death | 10/3/2009 |
| Q: I learned of someone's illness and later decided to send a get well card. However the very day that ... A: No,do not apologize for the get well card. They understand that it was an issue of poor timing ... | |
| New Roommate | 10/2/2009 |
| Q: A friend of ours (mine & my fiance's) is in a tough spot right now and needs a new place to move ... A: Laundromats probably do not let the water temperatures get truly hot. Maybe it's to save on the gas ... | |
| Extremely Difficult Social Question | 10/1/2009 |
| Q: how are you? I have a difficult question on how to deal with a social situation. Here's the ... A: When I saw the line "... I was recently toying with sending her another email.." I gasped and said ... | |
| 5th Anniversary Party | 9/30/2009 |
| Q: Next year my husband and I will be celebrating our 5th anniversary. My question is: Is it okay to ... A: By all means have a Do Over! Let it be known that while the first wedding was nice,the day went by ... | |
| No more Christmas presents | 9/28/2009 |
| Q: Each year my brothers and sisters send Christmas presents to me and my family. Two years ago, I ... A: You have done exactly the right thing. You let it be known that you wished to stop exchanging gifts ... | |
| shoes in the house | 9/25/2009 |
| Q: I try very hard to keep my house clean. It is very important for me to take care of the things I ... A: Please just ask them when they come in or better,before they come over if possible. This isn't just ... | |
| Name on the head stone | 9/24/2009 |
| Q: Can a last name be added after the biological fathers last name? She was never adopted by the last ... A: Whomever purchased the plot and the stone gets to make the decisions as to what name is put on it. ... | |
| Inviting people to party | 9/24/2009 |
| Q: I am inviting some friends out for drinks for my birthday. At first it was going to be a few people ... A: This should work itself out without too much stress or drama. It would have been a good idea to have ... | |
| How to sign Christmas Cards | 9/23/2009 |
| Q: My 4 yr. old just recently died and I know our lives are changing. Silly question, when it comes to ... A: Please know how very sorry I am for you loss. You do not have to send cards if it is too painful or ... | |
| Baby shower invites | 9/22/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is pregnant with twins.. She made out her list of people to invite and her ... A: Who is the hostess of this shower? The mother to be is asked to provide a list of people that she ... | |
| uninvited visitors | 9/22/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I are expecting our first child in November. When we bring the baby home, we would ... A: When you and your husband married,you each left your families to form a new one. This new family,be ... | |
| profanity | 9/22/2009 |
| Q: Is it permisable in todays society to offer a seminar on communication and present a film with a lot ... A: It depends entirely upon the audience and the forum. It would be outrageous to show such a film to ... | |
| godparent etiquette | 9/18/2009 |
| Q: Beside religious values and gifts as they grow, are there any special things Godparents buy or do ... A: Their primary role is as spiritual advisers for the child. It is entirely up to the Godprents how ... | |
| correcting someone | 9/16/2009 |
| Q: Ms. Gamble: I am writing to get your opinion about when it is appropriate to breach etiquette. In ... A: It made me laugh as I am not known to be 'politically correct'. When I wrote the response,I was ... | |
| Monetary Bereavement Gift | 9/16/2009 |
| Q: My daughter and son-in-law just lost a full-term baby boy. They have received numerous personal ... A: What a terrible time for you and your family. I am so sorry. You may use the money in any way that ... | |
| Thank-you | 9/14/2009 |
| Q: My husband's employer is generously sending us on a vacation in appreciation for all his hard work. ... A: Please do write the thank you note and get a gift as well. It's hard to make suggestions for someone ... | |
| Daughter's ordination ceremony | 8/25/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is going to be ordained as a Lutheran Minister. Her Grandmother, ( as well as me) are ... A: As she is your daughter is absolutely appropriate for you or her Grandmother to give her any gift ... | |
| Invitation etiquette | 8/25/2009 |
| Q: Is it proper etiquette to post "no gifts please" on a birthday invitation A: Technically,no. A host/hostess never mentions gifts on an invitation. S/he is supposed to be so ... | |
| Bedroom barger | 8/23/2009 |
| Q: My question is this... My Husband and I stayed with close friends at their home in Florida for a ... A: If she is a friend of such long standing this surely is not the first time that you have had to have ... | |
| guest invitation | 8/21/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting my birthday party and I would like to invite someone who I have been friends with for ... A: Have a talk with your friend. Try not to criticize "the friend" too much,avoid it all together if ... | |
| party invite | 8/21/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting my own birthday party at a small cafe with an evening of dinner and dancing. However ... A: Simply invite the people that you wish to have come at the later time with invitations to do so. ... | |
| College Graduation party | 8/21/2009 |
| Q: My son is graduating from college in December. He is the first in both my family and my husband's ... A: Anyone can give party at any time and for nearly any reason. Your son has (or will) mark an ... | |
| baby shower invite | 8/20/2009 |
| Q: My sister-in-law (wife of husband's brother) is having a baby shower, hosted by her family. I did ... A: Was the note specifically about the shower and did the greeting contain specific names? Or was it ... | |
| How to leave a dinner or party | 8/20/2009 |
| Q: When you are attending a dinner or party at a friend's home and you are ready to leave what is the ... A: When the guests start offering excuses say exactly what you wrote in my question. "The reasons don't ... | |
| include mom? | 8/20/2009 |
| Q: My parents are divorced but I spend equal time with both my mom and my dad and long-time stepmom. ... A: Good news. As the guest of honor and not the host/ess of this party,the list of who does or does not ... | |
| widow manners | 8/19/2009 |
| Q: should a widow of 6 years still wear her wedding & engagement rings if she is in a new relationship? A: If the woman is seeing someone seriously,she should remove the rings or move them to her right hand. ... | |
| Birthday Favors - Are they really expected? | 8/19/2009 |
| Q: Is it REALLY expected that I give the children that attend my son's birthday party a bag of candy, ... A: You certainly do not have to give the party guests anything in the way of gift bags or party favors ... | |
| sympathy | 8/19/2009 |
| Q: In the death of a girlfriend's mother, should the sympathy card go only to the girlfriend, or ... A: As the whole family is affected by this loss,please include them all. The degree of grief felt may ... | |
| Birthday happy hour | 8/18/2009 |
| Q: I have 6 girlfriends who I have been going out with every Wednesday for a drink, a movie or some ... A: As you were the first to have a birthday with the 'new tradition' perhaps everyone was a little ... | |
| 50th Birthday reception | 8/17/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate for my husbands exwife to take a piece of fruit from his dessert plate? This ... A: Sharing food from a plate is an intimate gesture,even if it isn't romantic. (Friends,parent and ... | |
| Visiting Relatives | 8/16/2009 |
| Q: A few weeks ago, I received a call from my relatives, that I have not seen in a while, and they told ... A: As it sounds like a big crowd,you may ask for separate checks at the beginning of the meal. If Uncle ... | |
| birthday party etiquette | 8/15/2009 |
| Q: My teenager was invited to a surprise birthday party for a friend at the park. The party was planned ... A: While the standard rule is that no host/ess gives a party that s/he cannot afford,this is a special ... | |
| baby shower gifts after stillbirth | 8/15/2009 |
| Q: a dear cousin recently had a stillbirth at 8 months gestation. Does she need to return the baby ... A: The correct thing to do and I mean this sincerely,is whatever your cousin feels like doing. She is ... | |
| christmas cards after death | 8/15/2009 |
| Q: my mom die July the 2009 is it ok to send Christmas cards this year or is that wrong. A: If you feel up to sending out holiday greetings,you certainly may. If,when the time comes you find ... | |
| Quinceanera | 8/14/2009 |
| Q: My friend who is turning 15 in October has asked me to be a part of her Quinceanera. I am a white, ... A: As you have never been to a Quinceanera before,let me tell you a little about it and what to expect. ... | |
| 50th wedding anniversary | 8/12/2009 |
| Q: My parent's 50th wedding anniversary is approaching. My Father passed away 5 years ago and I am ... A: "In loving memory of Bill Jones" if you wish to be private about it and not draw attention to the ... | |
| Hosting an In-Home Sales Party | 8/11/2009 |
| Q: Amanda, I am being pressured by my sister-in-law who sells Tupperware to host a Tupperware Party in ... A: If you weaken and host even ONE of these parties,it will never ever end. You must nip this nonsense ... | |
| Birthday celebration with husband ! | 8/9/2009 |
| Q: My husband and me have regularly different views about birthdays. We spend birthdays together. I see ... A: When it comes to birthdays,there is no "right way" to celebrate. Never mind the cultural ... | |
| Hello | 8/9/2009 |
| Q: I'm having my 13th birthday soon and I want to invite my friends in MY AGE GROUP. BUT,my parents ... A: I am very sorry for the tardy reply. Please explain your point of view to your Mother as calmly and ... | |
| 7 year old B-day Party | 8/7/2009 |
| Q: My son is divorced and shares custody with his ex-wife. He started dating a lady approximately one ... A: As no seven year old is immune from the charm of opening an actual present,I am glad that you ... | |
| IT'S MY DAY OFF AND ASKED TO WORK | 8/7/2009 |
| Q: My superintendent asked me to work for a weekend (my day-off) and told her she can have that day off ... A: Yes,it is fine to tell your superior that you need notice well in advance if she needs to change the ... | |
| SHOULD I PAY THE BILL | 8/7/2009 |
| Q: In a bar mostly I hang out with my friends, I don't drink and when I eat I limit myself with a ... A: Ask for a separate check. With computerized ordering and billing (which the restaurant business ... | |
| open house/graduation party | 8/1/2009 |
| Q: Is it bad etiquette to have a open house for your high school senior if they are Not going away for ... A: Well,whomever it was that told you that was quite wrong. You are celebrating the graduation from ... | |
| proper English | 7/30/2009 |
| Q: I am about to get married, and I was creating return address labels for us and I ran into a ... A: You may either have the labels read "Mrs & Mrs John Smith,Jr" or Nancy & John Smith,Jr. ... | |
| how to deal with lack of guest room/ bathroom at parents home | 7/29/2009 |
| Q: I am married and have 2 toddlers. We live in a different city than my parents do. I have a great ... A: If the visits are so contentious that you are fighting with your parents,please do stay in a hotel. ... | |
| Baby Shower | 7/27/2009 |
| Q: My son and his ex-girlfriend are having a baby. We found out about the baby 3 months after they ... A: Technically,you are not the one who should give the baby shower. It should be the expectant mother's ... | |
| Correspondence Cards | 7/25/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to send a happy birthday note on a correspondence card instead of a birthday card? A: Absolutely! A personal note conveying your best wishes for someone's health and happiness in the ... | |
| Opionianted | 7/24/2009 |
| Q: A 50's something friend (with a large extended family) never tires of presenting her ... A: If this friend is important to you and you do wish to maintain the relationship,by all means speak ... | |
| How do I cancel an adult bday party after invitations have been sent? | 7/20/2009 |
| Q: I'm really not sure how to proceed. My family has been planning a (unwanted) small party for our ... A: "Due to unforeseen circumstances,we regretfully recall the invitations issued for September ... | |
| How to politely tell someone they weren't invited | 7/18/2009 |
| Q: How do you politely tell someone that thay weren't invited on a trip? A friend & I are taking our ... A: This is tricky and likely her feelings will be hurt since you said nothing at the time. But try ... | |
| Stagette Party | 7/16/2009 |
| Q: I'm hoping you have some advice you can share about my situation. You sound like a kind person and ... A: While you certainly are well within the bounds of propriety to politely decline any invitation that ... | |
| etiquette article | 7/16/2009 |
| Q: I'm sane`, I'm a journalist for Weigh-Less magazine in South Africa. I'm writing an article about ... A: I will be happy to help. Let me know when your deadline is. I have quite a few things going on right ... | |
| Thank Yous | 7/15/2009 |
| Q: How do I write a Thank You for money in the time of bereavement..I don't want to say thanks for the ... A: You may thank them for their thoughtfulness or their 'kind gesture'. Tell them that it is support ... | |
| Addressing a Mr. & Dr. | 7/14/2009 |
| Q: What is the proper way to to address correspondence to a married couple who share the same last name ... A: Please use two lines: Dr. Elizabeth Banks Mr. Jefferson Banks ... | |
| RSVP | 7/14/2009 |
| Q: I have yet to receive any RSVP's for my son's birthday party and I need to know how many people are ... A: No,this is a time sensitive issue,so go ahead and call. Try not to make them feel guilty about it ... | |
| Wedding Invitation Wording | 7/12/2009 |
| Q: My brother is getting married in August. I just received the invitation yesterday. To my dismay, I ... A: Either form is correct. The first,where the bride's parents are the only ones who are named,are a ... | |
| Daytime Wedding/Evening Reception Attire | 7/12/2009 |
| Q: We have just received an invitation to a family member's wedding. The wedding is scheduled for 2:30 ... A: As the dress is a dark color and a length that can work for both times of day,go ahead and wear it. ... | |
| one month anniversary party etiquette | 7/12/2009 |
| Q: I have a work colleague who invited me to her "one month wedding anniversary party," and, since I ... A: No,no gift is required. No one ever has to pay for the privilege of being invited as a guest. If you ... | |
| cruise wear etiquette | 7/10/2009 |
| Q: I am cruising on The Queen Mary 2 and the formal dress code is for Black & White, does this require ... A: The definition of Black/White Tie is much more flexible for women than it is for men. You may wear ... | |
| Dr and Mrs. question - follow up | 7/9/2009 |
| Q: I have scanned previous questions and answers regarding proper addressing etiquette for couples in ... A: She is properly known as "Mrs. David Bearden" in that case. The easiest way to remember is as if you ... | |
| Birthday cards | 7/9/2009 |
| Q: A few days ago an envelope arrived addressed to both my wife and my eldest son. Their birthdays are ... A: Instead of condemning your mother,applaud her! Most cards and letters do not come close to exceeding ... | |
| Dr and Mrs. question | 7/8/2009 |
| Q: I have scanned previous questions and answers regarding proper addressing etiquette for couples in ... A: No,in the case of the woman being a doctor,a military officer,a judge,office holder,etc. you simply ... | |
| Funeral Ettiquette | 7/8/2009 |
| Q: My husband recently passed away. My husband's brother and his family were there. My niece took it ... A: Dozier, If you can possibly stand to,please let this all pass. To engage this woman in an ... | |
| Etiquette of goods distribution before/after death | 7/8/2009 |
| Q: What are the positives of earmarking or giving your goods away before you do? What would be the ... A: This really isn't an etiquette question but I will see what I can do. The upside to gifting things ... | |
| Dance School Prize Giving | 7/8/2009 |
| Q: I founded and ran a very large dance school for 25 years and sold it to 2 of my students. I was ... A: Your role was,correctly,whatever the school's owners wished it to be. If you were asked to be a ... | |
| going away party | 7/4/2009 |
| Q: I have a good friend that is leaving the state. He has been a big part of our community and very ... A: While it is a wonderful idea to show this man and his family how much they will be missed,please ... | |
| Graduation card w/money for daughter's boyfriend | 7/3/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate for my husband and I to give our daughter's boyfriend more than a card for high ... A: If you and your husband wish to give him a gift (in any form) as a token of your esteem for ... | |
| 1st Birthday Gift question | 7/3/2009 |
| Q: Is there any polite way to ask for a contribution to FLORIDA PREPAID COLLEGE FUND in lue of toys and ... A: Gifts of any kind should never be mentioned in an invitation. No one should be made to feel as if ... | |
| strangers ask "having anymore kids?" | 7/2/2009 |
| Q: I have 5 boys ranging from the age of 9yrs to 9 months. I have received inquiries from strangers if ... A: It sounds as if you are doing a fine job fending off inquires on your own! The tight smile that ... | |
| Wedding Gift Verbal Thank You. | 7/1/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate for the Bride and Groom after receiving and opening a gift to give a verbal Thank ... A: Verbal thank yous are (or should be) automatically given. However, since the gift was given during ... | |
| Friend visits from out of state and parents dont send compensation for expenses | 7/1/2009 |
| Q: Recently I agreed to allow my 13 year olds' school mate (who recently moved out of state), to come ... A: I am surprised that the child's parents did not think to provide for their child's basic care. ... | |
| Very late wedding invitation | 6/30/2009 |
| Q: An old friend of mine is getting married. We have barely kept in touch over the years, and I would ... A: You seem awfully quick to assign yourself the rejected loser role on this one. Are you sure that ... | |
| tomstone etiquette | 6/30/2009 |
| Q: our son was living with us at the time of his death.he was separated from his wife off and on for ... A: Please put the wife's name on the marker if they have children. Not knowing the outcome of their ... | |
| What is right | 6/27/2009 |
| Q: We were invited to a birthday party for a woman in her late thirties. It is a party on a riverboat ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Especially not in honor of herself. Your ... | |
| proper headstone punctuation for woman married twice | 6/26/2009 |
| Q: My Mother was married, divorced and then married again. I would like to put all of her names on the ... A: You may (correctly) either have: Lydia(Thomas)Watson Doe or ... | |
| Gift check | 6/24/2009 |
| Q: I've sent my nephew checks for birthdays and most recently his high school graduation, and was ... A: If you meant for the child to have the money originally,stopping the check would not be the correct ... | |
| Priviate Invite Etiquette | 6/23/2009 |
| Q: I am having a 50th birthday party and can only invite a limited amount of guest. While I have many ... A: People are going to hear about the party. Even if you swear every last one of the invited guests ... | |
| school home work | 6/23/2009 |
| Q: what shoud we do during school assembly 2.what should we do running tape water A: We don't normally help with homework questions,but I think the answers are as follows: Be quiet and ... | |
| 50th Birthday Party | 6/21/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to invite both people of a recent divorce to a 50th birthday party if the person ... A: This is a question where there are variables that influence the answer. It is not inappropriate to ... | |
| SURPRISE 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY | 6/20/2009 |
| Q: I AM PLANNING AN INFORMAL BUT VERY SPECIAL SURPRISE 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR MY HUSBAND, IN A HALL ON ... A: If the party is this important to you,by all means,send out save the date cards. It might not keep ... | |
| gifts for the uber-wealthy | 6/19/2009 |
| Q: A friend's child has been invited to the bar mitzvah of a child of one of the wealthiest families in ... A: It's a lovely idea for the adults to give and get donations to favorite charities. Even those who ... | |
| graduation ceremony | 6/19/2009 |
| Q: Is there a specific order for the entrances of the participants for the "march" during a high school ... A: While it is traditional for the adults to enter first,it is not inappropriate to make up your own ... | |
| Mother's Death | 6/18/2009 |
| Q: My mother passed way 8 weeks ago and my father began talking about his "friend" 4 days after the ... A: You are not being too sensitive,none of us can control grief,only our response to it. Speak to ... | |
| Seating | 6/17/2009 |
| Q: My husband's grandson has invited both of us to his wedding in August. I am my husband's second ... A: McLennan, You and your husband should be seated together and placed where ever the couple decides ... | |
| Debutante Etiquette | 6/17/2009 |
| Q: , My niece is making her debut later this summer. A souvenir journal (partially a fund raiser)will ... A: WOW. Thank you for forwarding the other "bit of advice". I am really TRULY sorry. I hope that you ... | |
| Thank you notes | 6/17/2009 |
| Q: My sister in law had a birthday party for her 2 year old foster child that she insists on having her ... A: You are correct,this isn't about the child,this is about her failed attempts to become a mother. ... | |
| Wedding invitations | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: We sent out save-the-date cards for our wedding and several people have already gotten back to us ... A: Do not send them invitations. When you next call,write,e-mail or see them,simply say "Tom and I are ... | |
| Card signing etiquette | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is part of a school choir. The choir director is retiring. We collected money for a ... A: Be gracious and go ahead and sign everyone's name. This always happens with group gifts,some people ... | |
| Food in a meeting | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: I have a coworker that eats very strong smelling oatmeal for breakfast every morning. She even ... A: Are you her immediate superior? If so,yes,go ahead and speak to her in private. "Jenny,we all value ... | |
| Beach house guests | 6/16/2009 |
| Q: One of our long time friends has recently gotten engaged and brings her fiance with her to our ... A: Either stop inviting the friend and her fiance to your home or,if this woman is a very close ... | |
| graduation cash | 6/12/2009 |
| Q: My neighbor/friend of 14 years and I are mothers of graduating high school seniors who have been ... A: No,you do not have to EVER 'match gifts'. In fact,you never have to give anyone a present for any ... | |
| House guests and Bedding | 6/11/2009 |
| Q: We are staying overnight with some very nice people we don't know very well as yet. The next day, ... A: Ask the hostess if she would like for you to strip and remake the bed with fresh sheets. She will ... | |
| hostess gift? | 6/10/2009 |
| Q: I live in a building with ten condo units. One of the residents invited everyone to her unit for ... A: There is no need to take a hostess gift to a cocktail party. I do think that it would be MUCH more ... | |
| wedding anniversary | 6/9/2009 |
| Q: Are we supposed to send each of our kids gifts for their wedding anniversaries? Is just a card ... A: No,you are not required to send your kids gifts for their wedding anniversaries. A card is more than ... | |
| niece's wedding | 6/8/2009 |
| Q: My younger sister sent an invitation to our Dad (who is 90 and will not be able to come) with me as ... A: Obviously you are very hurt by all of this. However,there is nothing wrong with using one ... | |
| recipients of gifts not thanking giver | 6/8/2009 |
| Q: There are several nephews on both sides of the family who do not call, send a thank you or say ... A: If they get no pleasure in receiving the gifts and you are no longer deriving any joy from sending ... | |
| ungreatful guest | 6/7/2009 |
| Q: I have a female single cousin who earns a very good income and doesn't hesitate to spend on herself. ... A: 'No good deed goes unpunished' as the saying goes. Listen,being polite does not mean having to be a ... | |
| Debutante Ball | 6/6/2009 |
| Q: My college age son has been asked to escort one of his high school friends (they have always been ... A: As he is an adult (and they are old friends) please have your son call his friend directly. He can ... | |
| social gathering & dates | 6/5/2009 |
| Q: I recently got engaged and my fiance has been taking me to many social gatherings, some of which ... A: Your fiance should be aware of your comfort level and do his best to minimize your anxiety at ... | |
| invite to twin's high school graduation | 6/4/2009 |
| Q: A friend was invited to twin girls high school graduation. He met one about 5 months ago, and only ... A: He asked your thoughts on what,exactly? I am happy to help but there is something missing in your ... | |
| reception 6-7 months after wedding | 6/3/2009 |
| Q: For financial reasons, my husband and I had an (in-town) elopement at the end of last December this ... A: Wolfe, Who has advised you that it is "not okay" to have a renewal of your vows in a church? If ... | |
| Graduation announcement | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: We have received a graduation announcement for the grandson of my husband's cousin who lives in ... A: and Mrs. Miller, No,there is no need to send money or a gift. An announcement is merely ... | |
| Church Pledge | 6/2/2009 |
| Q: Should we continue our church pledge if we move out of state? A: If is was a donation to be made over X number of years as part of a capital campaign,please honor ... | |
| Gift Return | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: We recently celebrated an anniversary and were given a surprise party by our children. We received ... A: It would be insulting to your friends if you returned their gifts. I understand and applaud the ... | |
| birthday party ettiquette | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: I am planning my husband a 30th birthday party and thinking about doing the same thing. Is that ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. It is better to serve your friends and family ... | |
| High School graduation | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: Is it proper to send out high school invitations as announcements to friends who have been ... A: If you write a note with or on the invitations letting the person know that you are just passing on ... | |
| senior graduation ettiquette | 6/1/2009 |
| Q: Should I give "neighbors,Friends" a senior graduation announcement for a teen....even though most ... A: If they do not know the graduate,they should not be sent an announcement. Announcements are meant ... | |
| gift or no gift | 5/18/2009 |
| Q: My best friends wife who has a reputation of being selfish and manipulative, is being thrown a ... A: Glad tidings,no gift is necessary. You are never ever under any obligation to take a gift to any ... | |
| birthday | 5/17/2009 |
| Q: Some friends and I would like to celebrate a friends birthday at a restaurant.I know it is not ... A: Just spread the word via the grapevine that this is what is expected. As you go out with this group ... | |
| high school graduation etiquette | 5/15/2009 |
| Q: Amanda My son just found out that he is 1/2 credit short of graduating from high school. We have ... A: If he is going to go through the ceremony with his class,please go ahead and behave as if he is ... | |
| Poaching friends | 5/15/2009 |
| Q: I belong to a country club. A long-standing friend is also a member, but we do not socialize with ... A: Once two people are introduced to each other,they are under no obligation to include the person who ... | |
| Birthday Cards | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: My husband comes from a large family. All are married and have children. There are many birthdays ... A: Greeting cards are not a requirement,just something nice that people send to mark life milestones. ... | |
| Baby Shower Gift Etiquette | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: I attend a co-ed group meeting once a week. There's a guy who is part of my sponsored family ... A: Strictly speaking,it was 'wrong' of her to invite you to her baby shower. The guest of honor's ... | |
| apology | 5/14/2009 |
| Q: When you ask someone to do something and they say they will do it, then they don't do it, for ... A: As you cannot use control other people's behavior and pointing out someone else's slip in mannersis ... | |
| graduation gift etiquette | 5/13/2009 |
| Q: My son recently took part in his university graduation only to find out he did not graduate. He ... A: Please see to it that he does indeed complete this last class. As he has done 99% of the course work ... | |
| High School Graduation | 5/13/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate for the graduate to open gifts at an Open House? I thought maybe the guests who ... A: Yes,it is fine to open the gifts at the party. Just make sure that you have a small table off to the ... | |
| Wedding gift | 5/13/2009 |
| Q: So my question is an easy one for some for me and the bridesmaid it's not . I'm a maid of honor in ... A: The bride is being very gracious and if you want to skip getting the couple a gift,do. She ... | |
| College Graduation Decor | 5/12/2009 |
| Q: I am about to attend a graduation for my associates degree and am confused about my gown and decor. ... A: Anything from your high school days must be left behind. This is a separate school,separate ... | |
| need help | 5/12/2009 |
| Q: Do you have any suggestions on a ceremony to present to two very out going, hard working board ... A: A ceremony? Why not simply have the board president get up and give a small speech giving the ... | |
| Birthday Invitation | 5/12/2009 |
| Q: We are flying to California from Florida for my Son's 1st Birthday, but I don't want people to bring ... A: Please tell the guests exactly that,that you only wish to see them and have them there to celebrate ... | |
| Dress for Swan Lake Matinee | 5/10/2009 |
| Q: I am going to Swan Lake Ballet. I was planning on going in the evening but it didn't work out. My ... A: While the words of the Cole Porter song "Anything Goes" certainly apply,I am afraid you will feel ... | |
| Graduation | 5/10/2009 |
| Q: My son got 6 invitations to graduation parties. He nor us(parents) got an actual announcement. He ... A: No one ever has to pay for the privilege of being invited to any party by bringing a gift. It is not ... | |
| daughter-in law relationship | 5/9/2009 |
| Q: My son recently married a nice girl from our community. However, I am having difficulty connecting ... A: Your daughter in law is clearly doing the best that she can in the same awkward and new situation ... | |
| proper dress | 5/7/2009 |
| Q: What is the appropriate dress for a music teacher at an afternoon music recital? I will be leading ... A: A simple day dress or skirt and blouse in dark colors would be most appropriate. You want to 'look ... | |
| Who pays for the food? | 5/7/2009 |
| Q: I am planning the 50th wedding anniversary party for my parents. We have 36 people on the guest ... A: A host/ess never gives a party that s/he cannot afford. If all that you can offer your guests is ... | |
| being a date to an out of town wedding | 5/6/2009 |
| Q: A friend/co-worker (just a good friend, I have a boyfriend) has asked me to be his date to an out of ... A: As you are doing him the favor by agreeing to be his date for the wedding,he gets to pick up the tab ... | |
| college graduation | 5/6/2009 |
| Q: I recently received a college graduation announcement from my business partner's daughter. They are ... A: An announcement is merely information. They are sent out after an event has happened and the only ... | |
| Etiquette sending high school invitations | 5/6/2009 |
| Q: It has always been said where I live that you are not to send a graduation invitation to family if ... A: No child who is a friend of your child's should be invited (with or without their family) if they ... | |
| Etiquette sending high school invitations | 5/5/2009 |
| Q: It has always been said where I live that you are not to send a graduation invitation to family if ... A: That is correct,there is no point in sending an invitation to a family that has a child in the same ... | |
| could you help me??/ | 5/5/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is having her graduation on June 12 at night. when should I send out party announcements ... A: Please have the party whenever you wish. If your daughter has a large number of friends having their ... | |
| bar mitzvah | 5/5/2009 |
| Q: There are 49 kids in my son's grade. For the most part everyone invited everyone to their bar/bat ... A: Please stay with your original guest list and let the chips fall where they may. This is going to ... | |
| Dating Economics | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: I've been dating someone seriously for over 4 months and we spend a lot of time together at my ... A: The first thing that popped into my head was "A new girlfriend". I doubt that you are interested in ... | |
| Birthday Invitaiton Etiquette | 5/4/2009 |
| Q: My friend is getting ready to celebrate her daughter's 1st Birthday... and the party is going to be ... A: While you are never suppose to say anything about gifts on an invitation as it presumes that you ... | |
| Graduation open house invitation prohibiting alcohol and tobacco use at my residence | 4/28/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting a high school graduation open house for my grandson, whom we have raised since infancy. ... A: Brown, Do you really expect this to be a problem? If you do not serve alcohol,there shouldn't be ... | |
| Child's Birthday Party/ sick children | 4/28/2009 |
| Q: My son's first birthday is coming up and we've invited all the in-laws and lots of other friends ... A: If you are that worried about your child's health and the risks posed to it by your family,please ... | |
| Graduation Announcements | 4/28/2009 |
| Q: Please advise how soon prior to a high school graduation should the announcements go out? Also - is ... A: An announcement always goes out after the fact. Invitations before, announcements after the event ... | |
| A relative's favorite charity | 4/27/2009 |
| Q: Gamble, My husband and I donate to several worthwhile charities - in addition to money we have given ... A: Please ignore this letter. If she did not have the courtesy to explain why this was so important to ... | |
| Printer's Error Results in Huge Faux Pas | 4/27/2009 |
| Q: Gamble - for many years, a printer made small cards for me, much like business cards, with my name ... A: Please say nothing. The people (if any) who caught it are not going to say anything as they think ... | |
| wasw to appropriate to end this relationship and ask why she excluded me from her home | 4/25/2009 |
| Q: I am puzzled. I have had a friend for several years who has been to my home several times. ... A: When there is no question mark present after a long note,I am never sure what the person wants. ... | |
| 50th anniversary party | 4/23/2009 |
| Q: We plan on having a 50th anniversary party for my parents. There are five girls in the family ... A: Sigh. There is always one in every family,isn't there? The proper seating arrangement is the one you ... | |
| A friend asked me to help with her baby shower | 4/21/2009 |
| Q: A friend emailed me to ask if I would help plan her baby shower which is being held at her home. ... A: I am trying to get past the audacity of someone asking others to give her a party in the first ... | |
| baby gifts | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: In my neighborhood when someone has a baby we all chip in $20. I have always chipped in and really ... A: Once per family is enough. Speak to your neighbors at a time when this subject isn't pressing (so it ... | |
| anniversary of friends mother | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: My friends mother past away suddenly this past May of 2008. One year will soon be here. What can I ... A: Write her a note letting her know that you are thinking of her as she faces this difficult ... | |
| Sympathy card | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: I recently found out a high school boyfriends mother passed away its was 35 years ago that I knew ... A: As you know,there is no time limit to grief. Sometimes we can feel the loss of a loved one very ... | |
| divorce etiquette | 4/20/2009 |
| Q: My daughter will be making her confirmation and I want to know who I am required to invite for this ... A: As your daughter is taking the very adult step of joining her church as a full member,please ask her ... | |
| High School Graduation | 4/19/2009 |
| Q: My Daughter is Graduating in June. I would like to send a notice to a few of my friends who are ... A: As these are very close friends of yours,just hand write a line or two in the invitation. I do NOT ... | |
| family issues | 4/18/2009 |
| Q: How does one communicate to family members that unsolicited advise is not desired? A: As family members usually mean well,it is best,if you can stand it,to simply say "Thank you. You've ... | |
| Sending out thank you sympathy cards | 4/18/2009 |
| Q: My Dad passed and I want to send many thank you cards out for all the flowers, donations and ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. If you wish to sign only your family's name,you certainly ... | |
| divorce etiquette | 4/15/2009 |
| Q: I am just wondering what the approriate thing is to say to someone when they tell you there divorce ... A: Try to nod wisely or say something neutral along the lines of "Well..I'm sure this has been a ... | |
| napkin handling during dinner at a restaurant | 4/15/2009 |
| Q: Is the waiter supposed to refold one's napkin after leaving the table for a short period? I say no, ... A: Good heavens NO. Even in the nicest of restaurants the wait staff should not handle the napkins ... | |
| friendship etiquette | 4/15/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I are very social people and make friends easily. We have met many friends, since ... A: When you introduce people,they are free to form their own friendship and pursue whatever common ... | |
| Do not like a friend of a friend | 4/15/2009 |
| Q: My dear old friend from college frequently invites me and my husband to parties and events. ... A: Speak to her privately and make sure she understand that you are not asking her to choose or take ... | |
| Headstone Etiquette | 4/15/2009 |
| Q: When having the wife of the deceased name placed on a headstone of her husband should it be her ... A: The more common practice is to have it marked "Jane Smith Jones" with the idea that if the married ... | |
| name to be called | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I live in Japan and teach English to my husband's first cousin's 20 year old daughter. What should ... A: As she is an adult,she should call you be your first name if that is all right with you. If it is ... | |
| Wedding invitation etiquette | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: My brother and sister had a falling out. It was his fault but he feels it's her fault. So, now his ... A: Do you feel that you must give a reason? I understand not wishing to go,but telling your brother ... | |
| College Graduation | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I have a niece and several cousins and friends children who are graduating from high school this ... A: Very few people actually want to attend a graduation ceremony that does not involve a close ... | |
| Bonus at Time of Death for Aide | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: My mother recently passed away and she had an aide that took wonderful care of her 24/7 for the last ... A: The rule of thumb for this sort of thing is a week's pay. But do what you feel comfortable with and ... | |
| Request for proper invitation wording for guest attire | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: We are hosting a formal 50th wedding anniversary celebration for my parents and would like to ... A: Usually the expectations for guest attire are written in one or two words and placed at the bottom ... | |
| Re Debutant ball | 4/14/2009 |
| Q: I am living in Australia and my son goes to a very traditional private school.He is attending a ... A: If this young woman has invited your son to her debut,she should provide the tickets. More to the ... | |
| Manners Slip/Rude Host... | 4/13/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I were at a cook out a few weeks ago at the home of a friend and my husband had a ... A: This is a story that has been around for years,no one knows it is true or not,but the meaning is ... | |
| To give or not to give | 4/13/2009 |
| Q: One of my coworkers never gives gifts but expects us to give her gifts at holidays and for her ... A: To give or not to give? If you have no desire to spend your hard earned money on presents for this ... | |
| houseguest | 4/13/2009 |
| Q: We are to be staying for 2 Nights with my husband's brother & his wife. I do not know them ... A: Offer under the general guise of 'family pitching in' but then take your hosts' words at face value ... | |
| High school graduation | 4/13/2009 |
| Q: When you should you mail out graduation notices? A: By notice do you mean an announcement? Those are always sent out after the event has taken place. ... | |
| Why no acknowledgement from my family? | 4/11/2009 |
| Q: I recently sent my cousin and her husband a floral tribute for my cousin's mother-in -law's funeral, ... A: Your question to me is " Should (I) feel guilty for shouting down the phone to them?" Your ... | |
| edicate for giving present | 4/11/2009 |
| Q: i wanted to know if I should give a card and present or just a card to someone at a going away party ... A: Gift giving is always a personal choice. There is no right or wrong. You give presents because you ... | |
| graduate school acceptance/ 30th birthday | 4/11/2009 |
| Q: My 29 yr. old daughter lives in Illinois and I live in Massachusetts. She is coming for a visit ... A: You may certainly give a party for any reason that you wish. To combine the two is fine. An ... | |
| retiremebt party | 4/11/2009 |
| Q: My niece friends are giving her a retirement party. They are charging $55.00 a person.I have one ... A: No. While it is wrong to ask people to 'pay for the privilege' of being invited anywhere as a ... | |
| Guests inviting additional guests | 4/10/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting a family get together and have a sister who has invited a family friend. This friend is ... A: A guest should not invite other guests. It isn't their party,the host/ess has thought out the ... | |
| Obituary Etitque | 4/9/2009 |
| Q: Should you list a widow in a death announcement? My mother remarried and her husband passed away, ... A: Yes,please do mention her. You say where and when he was born and to whom,the schools he went ... | |
| Signing and Addressing Cards | 4/9/2009 |
| Q: When signing or addressing cards, should I include the names of unmarried adult children not living ... A: As a general rule,no,you do not include the unmarried adult children. If they are off on their ... | |
| work cafeteria etiquette | 4/7/2009 |
| Q: The cafeteria at work is set up with very long tables with chairs on each side. I eat alone so I try ... A: If the people are unknown to you and are having a conversation that doesn't directly include you,it ... | |
| Teenage boys n earrings | 4/7/2009 |
| Q: My son is 18 years old now and he wants to wear earrings. Very few accept boys wearing earrings in ... A: I am not an expert on life in the Maldives,but as I understand it, it is primarily a nation that ... | |
| High School Graduation Invitations | 4/5/2009 |
| Q: I have a daughter about to graduate from high school. We are wondering if it is proper to send ... A: Please send them announcements but not invitations. An announcement goes out after the event is over ... | |
| proper name | 4/5/2009 |
| Q: Lady had been married for 20 years, maiden name was smith. married name has been Johnson, is now ... A: She may properly style herself: Jane Smith if she has decided not to take her new husband's name ... | |
| dinner conversation | 4/5/2009 |
| Q: Is it proper to make comments about or discuss the food you are eating while dining? A: If you are among "foodies" please go ahead. If you are not,stick to topics less controversial,such ... | |
| MY BIRTHDAY DINNER | 4/3/2009 |
| Q: THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN ANSWERED SOMEWHAT ON YOUR WEB SITE BUT I NEED IT ANSWER FOR ME. I WILL BE ... A: Coles, An invitation automatically implies that the person being asked to join you is your guest ... | |
| Ex's wives and family events | 4/2/2009 |
| Q: My common in law bf and I are in our 40's he in his late 40's we have grown children and ... A: Out of respect for your feelings this boyfriend should ask these women to not come to family events ... | |
| Wedding Announcements | 4/2/2009 |
| Q: Would it be proper for grooms parents to send announcements to their friends after the wedding? We ... A: It is absolutely appropriate. It is still your news to share with whomever you'd like to know it. ... | |
| baby shower | 4/1/2009 |
| Q: I am hosting a baby shower for one of my friends. She and her mom have suggested that I hold it at a ... A: As you are the hostess of this party,you get to decide where it is held and all of the other ... | |
| graduation announcement timeline | 4/1/2009 |
| Q: What is the proper timeline as far as how early high school graduation announcements should be ... A: An announcement always goes out after the event is over. Invitations,on the other hand,may go out a ... | |
| ETIQUETTE | 3/31/2009 |
| Q: SOME OF OUR HOUSE GUESTS TEND TO REMOVE ALL THE BED LINEN FROM THE MATTRESS BEFORE LEAVING, IS THIS ... A: There are wonderful things called mattress covers. You buy them for a new mattress to protect it or ... | |
| Different moms | 3/30/2009 |
| Q: My sister and I have the same dad but different moms. Am I related to her mom or any of her moms ... A: Is your half sister's Mom your step-mother at this time? If so, then,yes,you are related. If she is ... | |
| etiquette | 3/30/2009 |
| Q: I called my brother and told him i was coming over with my fiance. we get to the house and he lets ... A: A gracious host or hostess welcomes people into their home by greeting them. However,since she had ... | |
| Baby Shower Invitation | 3/30/2009 |
| Q: My daughter's friends are hosting a baby shower for her. At my request, my daughter is including ... A: Irving, How close can these friends of yours truly be if they are unaware of your daughter's ... | |
| Gifts for Bridal Shower Hostesses | 3/29/2009 |
| Q: I am the mother of the bride. I was told that I need to buy gifts for my four friends who are ... A: Levin, No. You may if you wish,but it is not required nor should it be expected. These women are ... | |
| Dessert Bar | 3/27/2009 |
| Q: I am throwing a co-ed baby shower and plan to serve a food buffet as well as a dessert bar. Should I ... A: If you have the space there is nothing wrong with putting the desserts out at the same time as the ... | |
| Hosting a baby shower | 3/27/2009 |
| Q: Is it proper for the grandmother to be to host a baby shower? My son is an only child so there are ... A: The only people who may properly give a woman a bridal or baby shower are her friends. Showers ... | |
| Protocol for Graduation Invitation | 3/27/2009 |
| Q: I have searched for the proper answer to this one and cannot find one that relates to it. My ... A: You are not required to send (or take) a gift for any occasion. No one has to 'pay for the ... | |
| how to show my support | 3/26/2009 |
| Q: My boss - male in the 60's - is having colon cancer surgery. Should I send a card, flowers, a book? ... A: None of the things that you mention are inappropriate gestures of support and concern. I don't know ... | |
| Graduation Announcement | 3/25/2009 |
| Q: My daughter will soon graduate with a doctorate of dentistry-and will soon after become an associate ... A: Elizabeth Doe Smith has graduated from Winston University with a ... | |
| bearevment card | 3/24/2009 |
| Q: A family member died (not immediate family) and I would like to know if it's proper to address the ... A: Please address the note to both your relative and her husband. Even if he was not close to his ... | |
| Invitation to do brunch together to celebrate | 3/24/2009 |
| Q: My birthday is coming up and I am not in the position this year to throw a party. I really want for ... A: Yes,if you are sending out invitations,you are the hostess and bear the responsibility for the ... | |
| Graduation gifts | 3/23/2009 |
| Q: Amanda, Recently I was preparing to graduate from a four-year college with a bachelor's degree. ... A: I wish I knew how "off track" you are here. Is it that you are short a class or two and will ... | |
| $ given in your honor | 3/23/2009 |
| Q: I have in-laws that give in-direct gifts to their adult children and now their grandchildren. They ... A: Absolutely nothing. The only appropriate response to any gift, even the ones that you do not like,is ... | |
| seating at booths | 3/21/2009 |
| Q: When a couple is sitting on the same side of a restaurant booth, does the female sit on the inside ... A: It is okay for the man to go in first so that the woman does not have to slide and wrinkle her ... | |
| Gift at wedding for future step children | 3/21/2009 |
| Q: My son is getting married and will have three new step children. He wants to, during the ceremony, ... A: Please make it something that they can each keep and use well into adulthood. Engraved pocket or ... | |
| Acknowledge a thank-you gift? | 3/20/2009 |
| Q: Is there etiquette precedence to acknowledge a thank-you gift? My sister-in-law stayed a weekend ... A: It isn't a 'must' but it's a nice thing to do. (Saying thank you for a thank you gift with a ... | |
| Who pays for dinner | 3/18/2009 |
| Q: Boyfriend and girlfriend's parents are meeting for the first time over dinner. Both sets of parents ... A: If the boyfriend (couple) can afford to do so,he (they) should pay the check. The parents are ... | |
| ex girlfriends | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: My boyfriend recently "dropped in" on his ex girlfriend whom he has not had any significant contact ... A: You don't need to let it go,you need to let him go. He obviously still has feelings for this woman. ... | |
| Sporting Event tickets | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: On one of the social networking sites I saw that an old acquaintance had 4 available tickets to an ... A: Don't make too big a deal of it,but after saying thank you it wouldn't hurt to say "...and you're ... | |
| Wedding gift | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: My daughter received a check from one of her cousins as a gift as he was unable to attend the ... A: Tricky. Sending the thank you note is a must,of course. I am with you in not saying anything more ... | |
| Declining a party in my honor? | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: A good friend is insisting on throwing me a birthday party to celebrate an upcoming milestone. It's ... A: Absolutely. Please thank the hostess for her kindness,but that it would be uncomfortable for you to ... | |
| Sympathy Card Etiquette | 3/17/2009 |
| Q: Is it poor etiquette to send a sympathy card a few months after the person passed away? A: No,it is perfectly appropriate to send a note well after the final rites are over. Sometimes we ... | |
| Party for a Doctoral graduate | 3/16/2009 |
| Q: What title do you put after the graduate name when giving a party after commencent ceremony A: Boswell, It is common practice to write the celebrant's first name only in icing on the cake,but ... | |
| Was this wrong? | 3/16/2009 |
| Q: My mother-in law was unhappy with a birthday gift my wife (her daughter) gave to her. Several days ... A: Of course you were right to be appalled. What mother does that? Answer: A really bad one. Or at ... | |
| Graduation | 3/16/2009 |
| Q: What is an appropriate graduation gift for someone receiving an associate's degree? A: Something the person would like or could use. It also helps if it is something that you can afford ... | |
| Who pays for casual birthday party in a restaurant? | 3/16/2009 |
| Q: My girlfriend "Diane" is having a birthday soon and her boyfriend arranged to have a surprise dinner ... A: Please make arrangments with the restaurant so that no bill is presneted. When they are ready,either ... | |
| Wedding response | 3/15/2009 |
| Q: If you are invited to a wedding after the first round of invitations are out and responded to and ... A: NO! Even if you were going you still wouldn't have to take a gift. No one ever has to pay for the ... | |
| money | 3/13/2009 |
| Q: how are some ways a 11 year old can earn money A: An 11 year old is probably too young to babysit,but have you thought about asking family and family ... | |
| friendship and rent. | 3/13/2009 |
| Q: i own an apartment in mumbai INDIA. the market rent is Rs 25000/- with a security deposit of Rs ... A: Please don't buy him a luxury item that equals the rent money. He will pick up on it and think ... | |
| Who pays for casual birthday party in a restaurant? | 3/13/2009 |
| Q: My girlfriend "Diane" is having a birthday soon and her boyfriend arranged to have a surprise dinner ... A: The rule of thumb is,that no host or hostess should ever throw a party that they cannot afford. If ... | |
| friendship and rent. | 3/11/2009 |
| Q: i own an apartment in mumbai INDIA. the market rent is Rs 25000/- with a security deposit of Rs ... A: Have you thought about it from his point of view? It may seem insulting to him that his best friend ... | |
| Graduate school ettiquette | 3/11/2009 |
| Q: My son is graduating from veterinary school as a DVM. What is the ettiquette for announcements? ... A: Party invitations and announcements are two different things. An announcement is simply a way to ... | |
| Baby shower | 3/11/2009 |
| Q: What is the typical protocol for where the mother-in-law of the mom-to-be should sit at her ... A: Well,as a bridal and baby showers are supposed to be informal events given by a woman's ... | |
| just asking! | 3/10/2009 |
| Q: Good day Ma'am! I just want to know if it is a bad manner in table if you talk that too much. ... A: You're welcome,Rocky. -A.J.G. | |
| death etiquette | 3/9/2009 |
| Q: My ex father-in-law died last December but I just heard about it a few weeks ago. I wasn't real ... A: No,it wouldn't be the least bit inappropriate. You are sincerely sorry for the loss of this man. ... | |
| House Guest Nightmare | 3/9/2009 |
| Q: I have a friend that moved to another state a couple years ago. Once my boyfriend and I visited her ... A: Oh honey,no. No,no,no. Do not let yourself be treated like this. Do not allow your home to be used ... | |
| Divorcing Friend | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: I have a situation where my neighbor and close acquaintance is in the middle of a divorce. Her ... A: You already know what to do,it was in the body of your letter. Trust your instincts here. Your first ... | |
| Recognizing Wedding Anniversary after the death of a spouse | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I are very close to another couple. Sadly, the husband has just died, and their ... A: Please do not send an anniversary card but do write her a note. She will be thinking of her husband ... | |
| envelope addressing for bridal shower | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: What is correct? Mrs. Leslie or Mrs. Husband name or something else. A: If your friend is known socially by her husband's name,then Mrs Fred Smoot goes on the envelope. If ... | |
| Christening party | 3/5/2009 |
| Q: I invited a friend that lives in a different state and that I have known since high school to my ... A: Tell her it would not be fair to subject her or the boyfriend to the upheaval that surrounds a new ... | |
| weddings | 3/4/2009 |
| Q: I would like to know if there is a certain way of handling weddings, baby showers and wedding ... A: A woman should be given one bridal and one baby shower in her lifetime. The original 'showers' ... | |
| graduation announcement | 3/1/2009 |
| Q: Would it be proper to indicate in our daughters' announcements for her graduate level medical degree ... A: An announcement and an invitation are two very different things. An announcement is merely news to ... | |
| Adult Child Etiquette | 3/1/2009 |
| Q: Every time I go to lunch or dinner with my 34 YEAR OLD daughter, I am expected to pay. She never ... A: Children are what we raise them to become. Now that she is an adult,the time to correct her behavior ... | |
| step family @middle school graduation parties | 2/28/2009 |
| Q: there will be a photographer on hand and I want to know do i take photos with my son and his step ... A: Why can you not do both? There is no 'right' answer to this. Only you know what his relationship is ... | |
| Bridal Tea | 2/26/2009 |
| Q: We are having a Family Only wedding. A Bridal tea is being hosted for future daughter in law and I ... A: Please do not invite anyone to the tea who will not also receive an invitation to the wedding. ... | |
| exwives and girlfirends | 2/24/2009 |
| Q: i have been dating a man for nearly three years. he has been separated/divorced now for about 3 1/2 ... A: There is nothing inappropriate about your boyfriend attending the funeral of his former ... | |
| Borrowing and returning items | 2/24/2009 |
| Q: Gamble! Thank you for your time and advice! 4 years ago my mom sent me 10 handmade scarves, while ... A: The best rule of thumb to follow when loaning something out is to never expect to get it back. ... | |
| non invite to a lingerie shower | 2/24/2009 |
| Q: My brother is getting married in April and my sister and I are brides maids in the wedding. We found ... A: Of course you have the right to be upset. No one can or should tell you how to feel. It is how we ... | |
| Birthday Invitation Etiquette | 2/24/2009 |
| Q: I am planning my 30th birthday which well be held at a local restaurant. I would prefer for my ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Please scale back your plans to include only ... | |
| Gift-giving at 50th Anniversary celebration | 2/23/2009 |
| Q: I was invited to a small party for my friends parents (50th anniversary). There was no mention of ... A: Spaulding, Usually after 50 years of marriage,people have enough 'stuff' and really do not want ... | |
| Family dinner dishes | 2/23/2009 |
| Q: A bit of background...My sister and I and our respective families go to my Mom's on Sunday's for ... A: This is very simple,really. What do these family dinners mean to you? What price are you willing to ... | |
| How to tactfully change service providers | 2/22/2009 |
| Q: I have been going to the same colorist for several years and using another sytlist to cut my hair. ... A: It is kindest to simply not book your next appointment. Drift off as it were. She provided a service ... | |
| Grandmother's Shower | 2/22/2009 |
| Q: Recently, a friend of my mother's (who I do not know well) offered to throw me a baby shower. I had ... A: If your Mom can con someone into throwing her a "grandmother shower" then so be it. But suggest that ... | |
| Birthday Wishing Well | 2/20/2009 |
| Q: I have been asked to a 40th Birthday Party and on the invitation they request "no gifts please" but ... A: No,not in the least. I am asked. You sought me out. Your friend does not think that there is ... | |
| Name for return address | 2/20/2009 |
| Q: For a college graduation announcment: Is the student's name OK for the return address? There are ... A: The envelope is strictly business. The information on it needs to be clear for the sake of the ... | |
| Thank you etiquette | 2/19/2009 |
| Q: I was recently informed that I had been the winner of a local radio contest for a free total tattoo ... A: It is never wrong to say thank you. This means a great deal to you. (the tattoo removal) Let them ... | |
| Birthday Registry | 2/19/2009 |
| Q: I’m planning my daughters first birthday party. There will be mostly family attending and some of ... A: It might be helpful,but it is not appropriate. No matter how much your friends and family love this ... | |
| Greeting Cards | 2/18/2009 |
| Q: A friend of my wife, which was invited to our wedding and had social gatherings with us has always ... A: Your wife's friend is not the problem here. He or she is being ridiculously petty. Who carries on a ... | |
| Birthday Wishing Well | 2/18/2009 |
| Q: I have been asked to a 40th Birthday Party and on the invitation they request "no gifts please" but ... A: The worst breech of etiquette anyone can make is to point out someone else's faux pas. The term ... | |
| no gifts for children | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: My child is 3 1/2 years old. He has just been invited to the 2nd birthday party this year requesting ... A: It isn't a trick,I promise. Many parents are realizing that their kids have more toys than they ... | |
| birthday gift age | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: What is appropriate age to stop giving gifts for birthday. I have a niece who is turning 18. Is it ... A: At the age of 18 she becomes an adult. She is free to join the military,marry and to enjoy all sorts ... | |
| Who pays how much for a dinner bill | 2/16/2009 |
| Q: Who pays how much for a dinner bill I joined 2 friends at a pub; they are engaged to be married. ... A: Oh dear. Our starry eyed bride to be is taking the Gospel according to Mark a little too seriously. ... | |
| christening lunch dilemer | 2/15/2009 |
| Q: i am christening my two daughters shortly and plan to have nibbles after at a near by pub, my ... A: Offer what you can afford to give your guests without apology. Can you have coffee and tea available ... | |
| Charity giving etiquette | 2/13/2009 |
| Q: My in-laws, with whom I have a very awkward relationship, have begun to send a gift card at ... A: Your oldest two children are in college,correct? So you have been putting up with this ... | |
| Going away party | 2/13/2009 |
| Q: Our family is moving to another country in April. We would like to see our friends and family before ... A: Absolutely. You may give a party at any time and for almost any reason. This is an excellent reason! ... | |
| Gift Giving | 2/12/2009 |
| Q: My neice has legally adopted her husbands son from his previous and are having a celebration at ... A: How nice of you to want to do something to commemorate such a special day. I don't know how ... | |
| Charity giving etiquette | 2/12/2009 |
| Q: My in-laws, with whom I have a very awkward relationship, have begun to send a gift card at ... A: Not to worry,it wasn't that long. I have given you the etiquette 'rule' for the situation. It is up ... | |
| Charity giving etiquette | 2/12/2009 |
| Q: My in-laws, with whom I have a very awkward relationship, have begun to send a gift card at ... A: "It is my strong belief that if you give a gift of charity in someone else's name, it is proper to ... | |
| Tastefully wording on Lingerie Shower Invitations | 2/10/2009 |
| Q: I'm giving a lingerie shower and would like some examples of "tasteful" wording on the ... A: As these are your friends,spread the word via the old reliable 'grapevine' what is expected. If ... | |
| Tastefully wording on Lingerie Shower Invitations | 2/10/2009 |
| Q: I'm giving a lingerie shower and would like some examples of "tasteful" wording on the ... A: Guests are asked to remember when shopping that Sarah's elderly and easily shocked great Grandmother ... | |
| salutation | 2/10/2009 |
| Q: how do you address letter - husband is a Mr. and the wife is a doctor....would it be: Mr. John and ... A: If she has taken her husband's name then socially,she still may be properly addressed as "Mrs. John ... | |
| Quick Question | 2/10/2009 |
| Q: Unfortunately, my brother has recently passed away. We have everything arrainged including flowers. ... A: Please know how very sorry I am for your loss. Yes,it is appropriate to take flowers to the memorial ... | |
| inconsiderate in-laws (and husband too) | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: Let me start by setting up the situation. We invited my in-laws over for dinner one Sunday. We had ... A: The problem isn't with your in-laws,it's with your husband. The in laws,either through expressed or ... | |
| Headstone Etiquette | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: Please tell me what is appropriate for the following: 1. My grandmother was married a second time. ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Ninety nine is certainly a long life,but it doesn't mean ... | |
| Attire-Private Dining Room | 2/9/2009 |
| Q: Is it permissable to allow the wearing of 'jeans' in a private, 'elegant' (formal table setting; ... A: I am a little confused by your question. (As to who owns the place and what it is a part of) No ... | |
| Neighbourhood party | 2/8/2009 |
| Q: I don't know where to start. We are a pretty socially shy family. My husband has never gotten past ... A: It is puzzling to me that in this day and age there are people who would consider your son 'not ... | |
| seating at anniversary party | 2/6/2009 |
| Q: We will be having a party to celebrate our 40th anniversary. How should the attendants be seated? ... A: If you wish to have a head table,you certainly may do so,it's a very novel idea! The spouses would ... | |
| our baby | 2/6/2009 |
| Q: we have a 16 mo. old. my husband is persian and i'm american. the babies hair has been getting ... A: Yes,she was out of line,but it's a bell you can't un-ring. Your poor dear husband was probably just ... | |
| etiquette | 2/5/2009 |
| Q: should i take a gift to a business open house?if so any ideas? thanks, sue lange A: Are you invited as a potential client or is this a friend/family member who is opening a business? ... | |
| What should I have done? | 2/5/2009 |
| Q: I was entering a building with my manager and I was holding the door. At the same time an old friend ... A: Don't be too hard on yourself here,it happens to all of us. We get trapped by someone who is talking ... | |
| Sympathy card | 2/4/2009 |
| Q: My mother-in-law passed away. In addressing the envelope, do I include my son and grandchildren's ... A: Please address your condolence note to whomever it is intended for. If all of these people live in ... | |
| etiquette for stepmother to be | 2/4/2009 |
| Q: i'm having conversations with my daughter about her future step mother's involvement in my ... A: Your instincts are correct,you should not get involved. Your divorce is over and done with. If you ... | |
| seating at anniversary party | 2/4/2009 |
| Q: We will be having a party to celebrate our 40th anniversary. How should the attendants be seated? ... A: What attendants? The original bridesmaids and groomsmen,etc? I am happy to help,but am confused by ... | |
| Proper Gift | 2/3/2009 |
| Q: I have been invited to attend the ceremony of a friend who has been promoted to Colonel in the Army. ... A: If you cannot think of something off the top of your head,then it is okay to pass. In fact,you are ... | |
| rsvp | 2/1/2009 |
| Q: what is the proper way to answer a RSVP to a wedding....specify what follow the M on the response ... A: The M is followed by r,s,rs,etc. (Mr. Ms. Mrs.) if the person responding is a doctor,minister,naval ... | |
| 30th Birthday party | 1/31/2009 |
| Q: I'm throwing a surprise 30th birthday party for my husband. We are having it at a local bowling ... A: Perfectly reasonable. You are having the party at the bowling alley. It (bowling)is not the sole ... | |
| Salutaton for same sex couple | 1/31/2009 |
| Q: I have two female friends who have recently married. How do I address the envelope? Before the ... A: Do they live in France? If so,you were not incorrect. For this newly married couple,until you find ... | |
| bridal shower | 1/31/2009 |
| Q: Is it bad luck to open gift at a shower with a knife or a scissors A: This isn't etiquette,this is superstition. In some cultures, opening a bridal shower gift with a ... | |
| birthday invitation wording | 1/30/2009 |
| Q: My daughter would like to have some friends go with her to a local resturant to celebrate her 17th ... A: If you tell someone that they must pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere as a guest,it ... | |
| Texting Thank You's | 1/30/2009 |
| Q: If someone texts you thanking you for a gift.Do you need to acknowledge them? Do you need thank them ... A: No need to 'thank them for thanking you' but there is no harm in acknowledging the text with a ... | |
| emial vs phone call | 1/30/2009 |
| Q: Beyond the practical side, when is it proper to use a phone call over an e-mail and/or vice versa, ... A: As both are extremely informal means of communication,one is no better (or worse) than the other ... | |
| leg crossing | 1/29/2009 |
| Q: what is the proper way for men and women to cross their legs? A: A woman may cross her legs at the ankle or at the knee. But if she crosses them at the knee,she ... | |
| Wording on wedding invitation | 1/29/2009 |
| Q: Re: parents of the groom - wording on Wedding invitation: Should it be: Doctor and Mrs John Everett ... A: If John E Smith Sr is deceased,then junior does move up a spot. Some men never do change their names ... | |
| hem of long dress | 1/28/2009 |
| Q: Is there a proper hem length of a long dress? What I mean is should the shoes be hidden or seen? You ... A: I am going to turn to the immortal words of Mr Cole Porter for the answer "In olden days a glimpse ... | |
| duties when visiting | 1/28/2009 |
| Q: Should I always take a gift? Also when staying over night do I strip the bed of it's linens and ... A: It depends entirely upon how well you know your host/ess. If it is a family member or good friend,it ... | |
| Daughter-In-Laws Baby Shower | 1/28/2009 |
| Q: This is actually a two fold question and lengthy because it is complicated. I am a first time ... A: It is your daughter's ticket. She is an adult and it is her responsibility to roll with the crazy ... | |
| anniversary invitations | 1/27/2009 |
| Q: It's our 50th anniversary and I want to send out save the date cards how far in advance should they ... A: The more formal the event the longer the lead time. Six months for a truly big (or at least ... | |
| Gift for college graduation open house? | 1/27/2009 |
| Q: I am invited to a college graduation Open House. What is the proper gift for a college graduate, or ... A: The question here is what do you WANT to do? No one is ever required to give a gift for a life ... | |
| formal invitations | 1/26/2009 |
| Q: our historical group will be sending an invitation to our governor and congressman what is the ... A: Grant, Dear Governor Daniels, On behalf of the Heirloom Tomato Society,I would like to ... | |
| Gift for college graduation open house? | 1/26/2009 |
| Q: I am invited to a college graduation Open House. What is the proper gift for a college graduate, or ... A: The older the graduate (the more advanced the degree) the less appropriate it is to give them a ... | |
| meeting my boyfriends family | 1/26/2009 |
| Q: my BF and i have been dating for over 4 years, He is 37 I am 35. He's a dentist, I'm a drug ... A: The first thing to do here is relax. This will be a walk in the park compared to what you have been ... | |
| Is Velvet appropriate any time | 1/24/2009 |
| Q: Is a formal velvet dress or skirt/jacket acceptable any time it is cold or only during the holidays? ... A: Velvet is supposed to be worn only from October 1st to March 1st unless it is an evening coat or ... | |
| baby shower ettiquette | 1/23/2009 |
| Q: your reply was that you had already answered this question for me before but you must have me ... A: The 'answered before' means that it is in the archives and available to be searched. But I will be ... | |
| Proper Use of Education Honorific | 1/23/2009 |
| Q: Good Day, I have a question about the proper use of education honorifics. A few years ago I ... A: I wouldn't say "missed",I don't think a memo was circulated. But,yes,it used to be that people very ... | |
| 50th anniversary party | 1/23/2009 |
| Q: I am trying to put together an anniversary dinner for my parents 50th anniversary, but with the cost ... A: Campbell, A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. No one should ever be made to 'pay ... | |
| Can't afforf it, don't want to. | 1/22/2009 |
| Q: A couple of my work colleagues always want me there to celebrate their birthdays at expensive ... A: As this is only a twice a year inconvenience,it is better to either go to the birthday party or ... | |
| Ex-in-laws in Obituary and Memorial Service | 1/21/2009 |
| Q: I recently married a man who has two ex-wives. His mother is dying of cancer and we will be writing ... A: It is absolutely appropriate to list anyone the family agrees upon as survivors of your Mother in ... | |
| 60th birthday | 1/21/2009 |
| Q: A group of women have offered to host our friends 60th birthday. Several hostess's have suggested ... A: This sounds like a very casual sort of get-together in honor of your friend's birthday. No need to ... | |
| Invitation wording/Party etiquette | 1/20/2009 |
| Q: I've chosen the venue and am playing golf with close friends and clients in the morning, cocktail ... A: No one should ever be asked to pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere as a guest. ... | |
| Divorced parents visiting child | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: My daughter lives in another city from myself and Ex-wife. She has asked us to visit to meet groom's ... A: As long as the two ex-spouses can get along without committing murder,mayhem or general scandal,it ... | |
| thank yous and $ | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: I have been staying with a friend while I attend a three week condensed college course. She has done ... A: You have already paid her and it would be a bit awkward to add on to the amount now,as if it were a ... | |
| Advice on giving advice on giving advice | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: Amanda- I just received an email from my mother in which she offered advice and correction under ... A: Is there any hope of changing who she is and how she reacts to things? Some people can manage to see ... | |
| bridal shower or celebration | 1/19/2009 |
| Q: My daughter is getting married soon and has chosen a destination wedding with only immediate family ... A: Yes,you are correct,you never invite people to a shower when they have no reasonable expectation of ... | |
| Giving back gifts to the gift giver. | 1/18/2009 |
| Q: I recently purchased a Christmas gift for someone in my future husband's family. I did enclose the ... A: You are correct,it is rude (and a little odd) for them to make such a request. The whole purpose of ... | |
| Asking to include a friend in an invitation | 1/17/2009 |
| Q: I have been invited to my co-worker's annual party. She invites a lot of people, and it is a ... A: While normally it is taboo to ask to bring a friend to someone else's party,in this case (a large ... | |
| widow of son attending ex-father-in-laws funeral and obituaries | 1/16/2009 |
| Q: I have been very close to my former father and mother-in-law. My first husband died in 1998 and I ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. The next of kin,the closest surviving relative has the ... | |
| daughters engagement | 1/16/2009 |
| Q: do I have to invite my ex to my home for an engagement party for her daughter A: If you (or she) cannot make it through the party without getting into an argument or causing a ... | |
| gifts | 1/16/2009 |
| Q: if your invited to a wedding anniversary dinner should you bring a gift or if you give the couple a ... A: If you have been invited to an anniversary dinner,the host is responsible for the expenses of the ... | |
| college graduation announcements | 1/15/2009 |
| Q: Gamble I am wondering who announces a college graduation if the graduate is married? the parents? ... A: When the graduate is married it is appropriate to have the announcements read simply: ... | |
| Nephews/Nieces | 1/13/2009 |
| Q: We have been giving birthday money for our nieces and nephews for years. But when the kids finally ... A: It's a little silly and (depending on how the kids feel about it) demeaning for an adult to get ... | |
| 60th birthday | 1/13/2009 |
| Q: A group of women have offered to host our friends 60th birthday. Several hostess's have suggested ... A: A guest should never be expected to pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere. The group of ... | |
| Following Memorial Service | 1/12/2009 |
| Q: another month or so, and wonder if it is proper to invite guests back to my home for a light ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Yes,you certainly may have friends and family come back ... | |
| Bridal Shower invitation | 1/10/2009 |
| Q: Would it "proper" to send out Bridal Shower invitations that include 2 dates and 2 locations so the ... A: As it is your intent to be considerate of your prospective guests,giving them a choice of two ... | |
| Gift Etiquette | 1/10/2009 |
| Q: A very good friend gave me a Christmas gift that is something I don't like. I am surprised that ... A: If this woman is truly someone that you consider to be a 'very good friend' why in the world would ... | |
| Addressing envelopes to government officials | 1/9/2009 |
| Q: I have written a letter to my local military base commander and know how to address that letter, ... A: Please excuse the tardy reply,I have no idea where your question went after it was sent,but it only ... | |
| Gift Giving at PHD party. | 1/8/2009 |
| Q: Is it proper to give a gift at the reception ? A: While it is not inappropriate to give a newly liberated graduate student a present,it is not ... | |
| Returning a Christmas gift to giver | 1/8/2009 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to return a Christmas gift a friend gave to you if you have a falling out with the ... A: No,you do not want to add insult to injury. The person gave you the gift for Christmas. The holiday ... | |
| walking Etiquette | 1/6/2009 |
| Q: A man and woman are walking on the street, to which side of the woman is the man walking? A: The man walks on the outside,closest to the awful,muddy,dangerous road. Etiquette demands that the ... | |
| Condolences | 1/6/2009 |
| Q: I just learned of a death of an old friend's mother who has passed away 3 and a half weeks ago. As ... A: It is absolutely appropriate to send her a note of condolence. Just a few lines will do. Dear ... | |
| legacy members of a debutante society | 1/6/2009 |
| Q: I am on the board of a debutante society club. This club was formed 21 years ago in which I became ... A: Each has it's own merits. The upside to making people re-apply is that you can get rid of dead wood ... | |
| Sympathy Cards | 1/6/2009 |
| Q: Amanda, My father-in-law passed away a few days ago, and I am wondering if my husband and I are are ... A: No,there is no need for members of the immediate family to send anything to each other. If there is ... | |
| Earrings as a gift | 1/5/2009 |
| Q: I received a pair of very pretty pierced earrings from my boyfriends mother for Christmas that match ... A: Please write a thank you note and do not say anything that will indicate that you are anything less ... | |
| Graduation Parties | 1/5/2009 |
| Q: My friend is having a Graduation Party for her granddaughter. Instead of gifts she wants to tell ... A: A money tree is never in good taste. Nor is telling people that you expect gifts of any kind. A ... | |
| 10th wedding anniversary | 1/4/2009 |
| Q: Is it tacky to have a party for our 10th wedding anniversary? We want to invite our family and close ... A: Anyone may have a party for any reason they wish. As long as the focus is on treating your guests ... | |
| messy house | 1/4/2009 |
| Q: The best friend of my son and his wife keeps a very messy, dusty, and cluttered house. It is really ... A: Easy resolution,if your son and daughter in law wish to see this woman,why do they not invite her to ... | |
| Birthday Party Dates | 1/3/2009 |
| Q: My husband's 40th birthday is Jan. 28th and I figured we would do it the Saturday or the Saturday ... A: Anyone may give a party for almost any reason and at any time. A few weeks or months past the actual ... | |
| Bridal Shower | 1/3/2009 |
| Q: I'm planning a wedding for my daughter. We have many out of state guest. Do you invite the out of ... A: Please leave the out of state guests who have no reasonable expectation of coming to the shower off ... | |
| present for my mother-in-law turning 80. | 1/3/2009 |
| Q: My husband and I are planning a surprise 80th birthday party for his mother. We are having it in our ... A: Money trees are never in good taste. What you did for your own dear Mother's party was perfect. Ask ... | |
| Guest of a guest -- Thank-you note? | 1/2/2009 |
| Q: I was invited by a friend to accompany him to a Christmas party last month. One of the host couple ... A: You may thank your host,as you were his guest. Leave the thanking of the party givers via note to ... | |
| bedding | 1/2/2009 |
| Q: can you advise me of the correct way to place pillows on the bed. i have always placed them so the ... A: I was always taught to place the pillows as you do,with the case openings facing inward,away from ... | |
| Banquet Invitation Addressing | 1/1/2009 |
| Q: My organization is hosting an awards banquet. I am trying to figure out the proper way to address ... A: Have you ever heard the story about Julie Andrews as a child? She had a freakishly adult voice and ... | |
| unwanted guest ... | 12/31/2008 |
| Q: My cousin and her husband left their corporate careers a few years ago for a "bohemian" (their word) ... A: Wow,no one can accuse him of being shy,can they? If two days are all that you are comfortable ... | |
| Birthday/W/A etc... | 12/30/2008 |
| Q: How do you handle this? At a social gathering; we met a couple. We exchanged e-mail and phone nos ... A: What couple wants to share their wedding anniversary dinner with virtual strangers? I find that a ... | |
| No gift to give | 12/30/2008 |
| Q: What should I do about a new friend buying me a Christmas present? I met him on Halloween, have ... A: He probably got you something because he wanted to and did not expect anything in return. You are ... | |
| Accepting an invitation after declining | 12/30/2008 |
| Q: What is a polite response to friends who decline an invitation, then call at the last minute to say ... A: From this point forward,only invite these people to large, informal gatherings where it doesn't ... | |
| Which name goes first? | 12/30/2008 |
| Q: Recently a friend asked whose name goes first? When addressing a married couple, does the husband's ... A: No,it does not matter. People seem to think there SHOULD be a rule about this,but honestly,there is ... | |
| rude relative | 12/29/2008 |
| Q: I have been in a relationship with the same man for three years. Everytime we visit his twin ... A: This man should not allow anyone to treat you like dirt. Not a friend,not a store clerk,and most ... | |
| family dinner left overs | 12/29/2008 |
| Q: This question, I realize, is rather family-dynamic specific but follows up on your advice about left ... A: You took it to your parents' house,so it was theirs to do with as they wished. No,your sister should ... | |
| Birthday | 12/28/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are invited to a 40th birthday party at a pricey restaurant. The invite was sent ... A: It's an option. "Please,no gifts" would be a request. This is your host/ess saying "...if you want ... | |
| New Years Christmas Celebration | 12/27/2008 |
| Q: My husband's "family" Christmas is held at our home on New Years Day. We also host a New Years Eve ... A: It is appropriate to leave Christmas decorations up until the feast of the Epiphany (also known as ... | |
| Missing Christmas Gift | 12/27/2008 |
| Q: Every year that I've worked at my company there are generous gifts given especially by the higher ... A: Please say nothing about what you suspect. Thank you boss (either in person or by note) for the ... | |
| Invitations | 12/26/2008 |
| Q: I have a dear friend that always counters an invitation with another ... A: If you two are truly close,please speak to her. Perhaps she is unaware of her actions and how they ... | |
| Nowhere man / No Reply (without The Beatles) | 12/26/2008 |
| Q: I'm a computer programmer in a multinational. I have 20+ years of experience, and 6 with the ... A: You are not incorrect in feeling that basic civilities are the norm between coworkers. It shouldn't ... | |
| after receiving money | 12/25/2008 |
| Q: After receiving the gift of money, is one obliged to tell the giver what the money will be used for? A: No,you are not obligated to say what the money will be spent on. However,if you are writing a thank ... | |
| Gifts for coworkers | 12/22/2008 |
| Q: One of my coworkers gave me a holiday gift. I work in an office with about 15 other people. My ... A: Do not give any gift other than the one you had already planned to give. It is better not to show ... | |
| Invitation to Debutante Coterie Ball | 12/22/2008 |
| Q: I have an invitation to such a ball, however, it says nothing about RSVPing and I will be out of ... A: Please write a note declining the invitation with regret. You do not have to give the girl making ... | |
| dating brother in law | 12/18/2008 |
| Q: My sister passed away several months ago and I want to know if it is acceptable to date my brother ... A: If you two wish to date each other,that is your business and no one else's. For your own sake,you ... | |
| X-Spouse vs girlfriend | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: I am divorced and am currently living with my girlfriend. I have been with my girlfriend for several ... A: It is in your best interest at this point to maintain as cordial a relationship with your ex-wife ... | |
| Gifts after death | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: My husband passed away 6 months ago. I received a Christmas card from an acquaintance which included ... A: Why on Earth did they send you money? Please help me to understand the context so that I may advise ... | |
| Christmas card to a recent widow | 12/17/2008 |
| Q: Do you send a Christmas card to someone who has just lost her husband. What do you say inside? ... A: You may say that you know that this first Christmas without Joe will be a difficult one for her and ... | |
| newspaper birth announcement | 12/16/2008 |
| Q: I am preparing my son's newspaper birth announcement. He was born in October of this year and my mom ... A: Include them in the grandparents and great grandparents section but say "the late Jane Jones" and ... | |
| etiquette when giving rides to others | 12/15/2008 |
| Q: I would like to know the proper etiquette when a person offers to give you a ride and is going to ... A: When someone is offering to give someone else a ride,it is general practice that they are acting in ... | |
| Holiday Open House | 12/14/2008 |
| Q: What is appropriate amount of time to stay at a holiday open house. Hours are 2 pm - 6 pm. My ... A: It is appropriate to stay for as long as you wish. While most people do stop in for a half hour to ... | |
| Address | 12/14/2008 |
| Q: At what point do you stop using Master in an address? I.e. Master John Doe A friend stated when and ... A: In America,the term Master is rarely used at all. Even by the 1930s it was considered pretentious to ... | |
| Hosts music playlist. | 12/14/2008 |
| Q: When I was at a former friend's home recently. I asked to play a certain song that was relevant to ... A: I am very glad that you used the word 'former' in front of friend. No one has to put up with that ... | |
| Long Term House Guest Expecations/Manners HELP NEEDED!! | 12/12/2008 |
| Q: This is my second marriage. My new husband and I live in my (from previous marriage)/our/ home with ... A: It is not too much to expect a family member and long term house guest to help. It sounds as if your ... | |
| Announcing Pregnancy | 12/11/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are not quite 3 months pregnant and have asked our families to keep quiet until we ... A: Use "I" language so as to get your feelings across without making the grandmothers defensive. Once ... | |
| addressing envelop | 12/11/2008 |
| Q: How do I address an envelope to a family where the Husband and his wife have different last names ... A: Happy to help... Dr. Elizabeth Lewis Mr. Frederick Smith ... | |
| Death of an acquantance's son | 12/11/2008 |
| Q: I just found out 2 days ago that a girl I went to high school with lost her 14-year old son in an ... A: What a terrible situation. Please write your friend a note and let her know what it is you hoping to ... | |
| Attending estranged step-mother's mother funeral?? | 12/11/2008 |
| Q: My step-mother's mother died today. I have not spoken to her in several years, despite another ... A: If your sister would like you to come to the calling hours,then please do. I am going to assume that ... | |
| Thank you notes | 12/10/2008 |
| Q: Should a hostess send a thank you note when a gift is brought to a party? A: If she has thanked the person for the gift at the time,she does not need to send a note unless she ... | |
| use of Jr. and Sr. | 12/9/2008 |
| Q: I read your answer about shifting a Jr. to Sr. after the death of the previous Sr. My question has ... A: The suffixes are important and as the world gets more populated and more reliant on technology,it is ... | |
| social hello/goodby | 12/9/2008 |
| Q: need another opinion....went to party with fience was on call and had to leave early...upon ... A: A hug or a kiss on the cheek is harmless enough as a general rule. Most Americans are comfortable ... | |
| Christmas cards | 12/9/2008 |
| Q: Should two adult sisters who are living together give out joint Christmas cards to relatives? If ... A: They may send out joint cards or not as they wish. The sister would each sign their own name. ... | |
| bridal tea etiquette | 12/7/2008 |
| Q: My mother and I would like to host a "bridal tea" for my future sister in law. It is going to be a ... A: There will still be an expectation by the guests to be invited to the wedding itself. It would be ... | |
| in-law visits | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: My son and daughter-in-law along with our one year old grand daughter are coming to visit for ... A: Please speak to your son about this and tell him what you have told me. See how he views it and if ... | |
| Overnight Company | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: I feel a bit overwhelmed with overnight company. We do not have a guest bedroom. One of the ... A: The only thing wrong with you is your (apparent) inability to say "No". Who are these people and ... | |
| Christmas cards with child after divorce | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost a year and we a a four year old son. His father ... A: If we have learned nothing else from author and philanthropist Marlo Thomas,we have learned this ... | |
| Why no acknowledgement from my family? | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: I recently sent my cousin and her husband a floral tribute for my cousin's mother-in -law's funeral, ... A: You get to say who is or isn't worth your time and attention. There are so many hours,days,months ... | |
| RSVP | 12/4/2008 |
| Q: Is it ever appropriate (space restrictions etc) to state after an RSVP, "anyone not replying will ... A: If there are space restrictions you have invited too many people! There should always be room for ... | |
| Mothers Death and Christmas cards | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: My mother just passed away on 10/22/08 and I want to send out Christmas cards. I have a sister and ... A: Please do not write 'in memory of' as that suggests that the Christmas cards themselves are a ... | |
| 1st time Visiting Turkish boyfriend at Thanksgiving | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: .. This was an awful situation. I took my Turkish boyfriend who has been in the states for 7 months ... A: It amazes me that after your sister was treated so poorly by this cousin that you would still ... | |
| Baby shower gift giving | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: My name is Mary. I just had my only daughters baby shower. When we went back to her home, my ... A: You are correct,a gift is a gift and the only appropriate response is to say thank you. We are ... | |
| Christmas Open House | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: I've been invited to my new boyfriend's parent's Christmas Open House. I'm wondering if I should ... A: Please take nothing more than a small gift for your hosts. A box of chocolates or a bottle of wine ... | |
| 70th birthday invitation and gifts | 12/2/2008 |
| Q: My mother would like to receive gifts at her 70th birthday party, yet doesn't want to open them ... A: Presents are never to be mentioned on an invitation. No one should be made to feel as if they must ... | |
| rude hosts of a party | 12/1/2008 |
| Q: This is a problem that has bothered me for years but I have never figured out the correct way to ... A: Let it go. They were not good hosts,but what purpose can be served by telling them so? None. The ... | |
| Wedding ring | 11/30/2008 |
| Q: Im widowed and was wondering can you wear your wedding ring on another finger.Or should I just stop ... A: The choice is yours to make. It is appropriate to keep wearing the rings as they are,move them to ... | |
| Invittion for Dessert | 11/30/2008 |
| Q: I have been invited for dessert (cake and ice cream) on my Father's birthday by his wife. The ... A: She has the right to set the terms of the invitation. You have the right to decline the invitation ... | |
| Open House Gift Opening Etiquette | 11/29/2008 |
| Q: I am hosting an Meet and Greet Open House for my cousin and her husband who recently adopted a child ... A: Please have a table close at hand for people to put any cards or gifts on. This will relieve your ... | |
| How To confirm someone received your wedding gift | 11/29/2008 |
| Q: I ordered a wedding gift for a coworker and had it shipped directly to their house - it has been ... A: Say just that: "I hate to ask but I have been feeling a little apprehensive..did the people at UPS ... | |
| tombstone "etiquette" inscriptions | 11/28/2008 |
| Q: My in-laws ordered their pre-planned tombstone this year and I happened to attend a funeral at the ... A: People use (and have for 100s of years) grave markers as a genealogical reference point. It is not ... | |
| Party invitation-RSVP | 11/26/2008 |
| Q: When inviting people to a party what is the proper procedure to follow up with close friends that ... A: Jim, By all means give them a call. You don't have to make them feel guilty,of course,but there is ... | |
| memorial service for the father of my kids | 11/25/2008 |
| Q: he was 57 I am 48 The boys are 14 & 15 We lived with this man until we fled to a shelter ages 2 & 3 ... A: Let someone else give the eulogy. Go to the service with the boys and yes,as you say,be civil. It ... | |
| Staying with relatives at Christmas | 11/25/2008 |
| Q: My brother and his family live about a five hour drive (in good traffic and ideal weather ... A: No,there are no rules regarding having out of town guests for a holiday. Your brother is within his ... | |
| spreading of ashes | 11/24/2008 |
| Q: My mother died in August. We did not have a ceremony of any kind at that time even though many ... A: Please forgive the tardy reply,I am not sure how this question slipped past me for so many days. ... | |
| gift giving.out of town bat mitzvah | 11/24/2008 |
| Q: I received an invitation for my first cousin's daughters Bat Mitzvah. We have recently moved out of ... A: You are never required to give a gift in return for an invitation. Regardless of the event or ... | |
| Running into people you know at social function | 11/23/2008 |
| Q: I attended a wine tasting event with my boyfriend. While there, we ran into one of the cook's from ... A: Nicole, No,you didn't screw up. No,he was not right to criticize you in public about this or ... | |
| cutlery when meal has been finished | 11/23/2008 |
| Q: I am a trainer for an airline and i was wondering when a guest finishes his meal what are the ways ... A: Please do not tell people to do things "ASAP" when they are the ones doing you a favor. It is ... | |
| wedding gifts displayed in home | 11/22/2008 |
| Q: I am an interior decorator and home organizer. I have been asked to display wedding gifts in a ... A: They are meant to be placed in a room or area that is not a high traffic spot. If there are two of ... | |
| thanks giving dinner | 11/21/2008 |
| Q: what is the proper time for thanksgiving dinner A: When the turkey is done. Best regards, ... | |
| baby shower group gift thank you | 11/20/2008 |
| Q: I received a gift card from my co-workers as a baby shower gift. Since it was from a group of ... A: Please write a general note of thanks to the entire group and place it or post it in an area that ... | |
| Birthday invitation - no gifts please | 11/19/2008 |
| Q: my husband and I are invited to a 70th birthday party at a pricey restaurant. The invitation said ... A: Please honor their request and go without a present. I am sure that your hosts feel that having you ... | |
| Engagement ring | 11/18/2008 |
| Q: My daughter and her boyfriend want to get engaged. They don't have allot of money for a nice ... A: This is a lovely and generous offer. Please speak to your daughter as this is a family heirloom. ... | |
| Sympathey Card | 11/17/2008 |
| Q: I know to use "Mrs." on the envelope, but do I use my niece's first name or her newly passed ... A: It is appropriate to call her Mrs. John Doe until she remarries or indicates that she wishes to be ... | |
| Engagement Party list | 11/17/2008 |
| Q: My family and I threw an engagement party for a close family friend's daughter. As is the custom ... A: No,you were correct. If your in-laws do not know the couple and are not likely to be invited to the ... | |
| Fast food drive up | 11/16/2008 |
| Q: I am an order taker at a world wide fast food chain and I don' know how to handle people on ... A: I loved your question. There is little doubt that this job is one you won't be staying with long. ... | |
| Name | 11/16/2008 |
| Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. He insists on having his kids, 7 and ... A: Anyone under the age of 21 should address you by your honorific, especially if their parent is ... | |
| Mother of Groom | 11/13/2008 |
| Q: For an evening wedding does it make a difference if the motehr of groom wears sandals or closed ... A: The word "sandal" covers a multitude of styles. But I am going to assume you aren't talking about ... | |
| Stillborn Etiquette | 11/12/2008 |
| Q: One of my health care providers has suffered the terrible loss of a newborn. The baby was full ... A: She probably won't wish to talk about something so personal and painful once she returns to the work ... | |
| addressing family with different last names | 11/12/2008 |
| Q: I have a son from a previous marriage who has a different last name than I and my current husband ... A: You may sign simply "Tom,Nancy,Justin and Amy" on the bottom of the greeting cards and 742 Evergreen ... | |
| funeral ettiquette | 11/11/2008 |
| Q: My children's grandmother just passed away, her son and I are estranged and he doesn't see or take ... A: The children's father's wishes should be considered at this time. They are still his children and as ... | |
| Thanksgiving | 11/11/2008 |
| Q: For the past 3 years my girlfriend, her husband and two children have been invited to our home for ... A: Please go ahead and give her a call but wait for her to mention Thanksgiving. With any luck,she will ... | |
| food at work | 11/7/2008 |
| Q: A co-worker of mine frequently brings homemade baked goods and keeps them at her desk for all to ... A: It's a little weird and sad to have a private club where you only serve cake to co-workers you ... | |
| Christmas Cards | 11/6/2008 |
| Q: When I moved out on my own, I sent Christmas cards to my friends and family simply from me. Now I've ... A: Go ahead and send the cards jointly. Everyone on your list knows you are living together,correct? ... | |
| Giving a gift to then find out its not wanted. | 11/6/2008 |
| Q: wondered whether you can kindly offer some advice on the correct social etiquette in the following ... A: Gracious! What a mess. This friend of your Mum's doesn't sound like a very nice person. She has no ... | |
| Thank you notes when you return a gift | 11/6/2008 |
| Q: My Mother-in-law bought me an article of clothing for my birthday. I appreciate the time she took ... A: Say nothing except thank you when writing the note. You don't have to lie,but there is no reason to ... | |
| 50th wedding anniversary newspaper article | 11/5/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I have 3 children from our marriage and I helped rear my 3 step children. What is ... A: After 50 years,you get to claim them as your children if you wish. If you are afraid the (adult) ... | |
| 40th Bday | 11/3/2008 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to have a 40th bday celebration or is the BIG 50 more appropriate to wait for? A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for almost any reason. There is no birthday that is 'more ... | |
| Thank you cards | 11/3/2008 |
| Q: I received a couple birthday cards in the mail from my in-laws. Should I send a thank you card in ... A: While it is not necessary to send a thank you note for a greeting card,it is not inappropriate. Why ... | |
| lady at church | 11/2/2008 |
| Q: I am not sure if this is an etiquette question but this is as close as I can find on this website ... A: Well..clearly she's on the run from the law. Kidding,but no,you are correct,her behavior was strange ... | |
| Wording for party invitation | 11/1/2008 |
| Q: We are hosting a Christmas party for my husband's work. How can we word the invitation not to bring ... A: You are correct,to whom the card is addressed tells the tale of who is expected. Please spread the ... | |
| Party for a young man that graduated Coast Guard Basic Training | 10/31/2008 |
| Q: We were invited to a congratulation party for the son of our friends. The party is a celebration of ... A: Your instincts are correct. This party is more about having his friends and family together in one ... | |
| Family Christmas gift exchange | 10/31/2008 |
| Q: For the last several years we have exchanged Christmas gifts with our brothers and sisters families ... A: If this is your wife's sister you are speaking of,please have your wife speak to her sibling. ... | |
| Define "Hosted By" | 10/30/2008 |
| Q: When someone sends you an invitation to a luncheon and it says "Hosted By Cathy", does that mean ... A: Yes,you are absolutely correct. The term she wants is 'party promoter'. No one should be required to ... | |
| thank you note for clothes that don't fit | 10/30/2008 |
| Q: I received a birthday gift of clothes from some close family members. The clothes do not fit, and ... A: Please just write a thank you note. You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell the whole ... | |
| joint birthday party | 10/29/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are about to celebrate our only child's 1st birthday next weekend. We are having a ... A: Nip this in the bud,please. You are not required to hold joint birthday parties if you do not wish ... | |
| future step-grandparents etiquette | 10/28/2008 |
| Q: My daughter (in another state) is divorced with a 2 year-old child and is engaged to an individual ... A: Please ask your daughter what she (and her husband) would like to have the 3 year old call you. Have ... | |
| Ph.D Graduation Announcement | 10/28/2008 |
| Q: Our 28-year-old daughter is graduating with her Ph.D. in about 6 weeks. We would like to send ... A: Congratulations! Yes,by all means send out announcements after your daughter graduates. ... | |
| wedding invitations | 10/27/2008 |
| Q: We are church ministers for over 50 years. Our grandaughter is getting married. Because we have kept ... A: Please send the former cogregants a wedding announcement after the ceremony takes place. An ... | |
| Throwing your own 50th Birthday Party | 10/26/2008 |
| Q: I will be turning 50 in just over a month. Though I know someone in my family or a close friend will ... A: Anyone can throw a party for any reason and at any time. This is not an ego trip for you,you ... | |
| Mother in law | 10/26/2008 |
| Q: How many times a week should you call your mother in law? A: It is appropriate to call your Mother in Law anywhere from zero to 100 times a week. It depends ... | |
| Questions about black-tie gala | 10/26/2008 |
| Q: I am 28 years old and a freshman at a state university and was given an admissions scholarship by my ... A: Congratulations! Please do not stand around waiting for someone to speak to you. As you are an ... | |
| Wedding Etiquette with divorced parents | 10/24/2008 |
| Q: I'm throwing a wedding shower for my friend "Misha." She is the only daughter of a long and ... A: As you are the hostess of this shower,you should refuse to take money from either parent. Please ... | |
| University Invitations | 10/24/2008 |
| Q: I am the new first lady of a university and will be sending out a couple of thousand invitations for ... A: You are in the odd position of having a party that is a cross between business and social events. ... | |
| Sympathy Etiquette | 10/22/2008 |
| Q: What is etiquette (sympathy) when a cousin passes away? Should a card be sent to remaining family ... A: Please write a short note expressing your sympathy to these remaining family members. The ... | |
| A Planned Social Gathering | 10/21/2008 |
| Q: A while ago I hosted a party for a sporting event. I supplied all of the Food, and all of the ... A: A host never throws a party that he cannot afford. Charging people no longer makes them guests,it ... | |
| Answering Questions with Questions | 10/21/2008 |
| Q: I was recently told it was rude to answer a question with a question. I am a slightly sarcastic and ... A: No,it is not always rude to answer a question with a question. It depends on the question and the ... | |
| Birthday Dinner | 10/21/2008 |
| Q: I'm 48 years old, and married, so birthday's don't mean much. But my brother and his wife would like ... A: As she was the hostess,it was up to her to decide whom to invite. She was being very considerate by ... | |
| birthday gifts for my children | 10/20/2008 |
| Q: I feel that even though her mother my husbands sister buys she is also obligated to buy for my ... A: We should all buy gifts for people because we want to and should never expect anything in return. ... | |
| how do I comfort my daughter inn law | 10/19/2008 |
| Q: My daughter in law just lost her father her mother is already gone how can I or should I try to give ... A: Tell her how sorry you are for her loss,explain that you don't know how vest to help her during this ... | |
| sons treating us as guests? | 10/19/2008 |
| Q: My question is,, should your father and mother be concidered guests? My son insists on refering to ... A: This is the first time I have gotten this question. Usually (and frequently) I get parents or adult ... | |
| introducting people | 10/18/2008 |
| Q: When is okay not to introduce people to one another? I was just in a situation that and now I feel ... A: It's a hard call sometimes as to when to introduce people to each other and when not to. You did ... | |
| what is best to recognize this marriage | 10/17/2008 |
| Q: My brother met his now fiance on a Ukrainian Bride web site two years ago. She is now cleared to ... A: What would make you feel most welcome were the situation reversed? A wedding reception,even if it is ... | |
| Graduation announcements | 10/17/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is graduating from college soon. Space at the ceremony is limited. Do you only send ... A: Announcements and invitations are two different things. An announcement is sent after an event ... | |
| civilians addressing military personnel in the workplace | 10/16/2008 |
| Q: I work for a public university. A new leader was recently appointed to my unit. He is a retired ... A: Please use his honorific unless he asks you to do otherwise. We call our physicians,elected ... | |
| Thank you notes | 10/15/2008 |
| Q: I wanted to know what the standard time line is for sending out "thank you's" for different gifts ... A: When you write the notes,thank the recipient for as many different things on behalf as many ... | |
| Kindergarten Invitation | 10/14/2008 |
| Q: My 5 year old daughter received an invitation to a classmate's birthday party. In the list of usual ... A: What is the world coming to? No,it is never appropriate to mention gifts in any way on an ... | |
| Leave a patial bottle or not | 10/12/2008 |
| Q: A friend of mine recently invited me over to her apartment. She said she would cook dinner, and ... A: I hope for your sake she's pretty,because she sure doesn't sound very nice. If you take a bottle ... | |
| football game manners | 10/12/2008 |
| Q: How should a parent move a toddler into & out of stadium seats? The width between the two rows is ... A: It is up to the parent to decide how best to get their child from point A to point B. On the face of ... | |
| white on cruise ships | 10/11/2008 |
| Q: Help settle a friendly disagreement between my partner and myself. I maintain that the "No white ... A: In 1819,the ship Thaddeus set sail from Boston headed for Hawaii. The good Christian missionaries ... | |
| 70th birthday guest list | 10/11/2008 |
| Q: My siblings and I are planning a 70th birthday party for our mom. Our neice felt slighted that her ... A: You are correct in not wanting to play hostess to strangers. This isn't the day for it. If it were a ... | |
| motherinlaw and divorce | 10/10/2008 |
| Q: my son is in the divorce process which is a bit messy :-( his ex to be still emails me once in a ... A: Please do what you feel is best for you in this situation. You are best able to determine her ... | |
| B'nai Mitzvah invitation reply wording | 10/9/2008 |
| Q: we have been invited to a very formal B'nai Mitzvah. We would like to send a more personal note in ... A: Please send the celebrant the personal note of congratulation under separate cover. Did that answer ... | |
| Bar Mitzvah Gift | 10/9/2008 |
| Q: My son is invited to a Bar Mitzvah for triplets. He is friends with one but obviously knows the ... A: Please give gifts to all three of the brothers. Money and incomes are relative things. Only you and ... | |
| Baby Shower | 10/8/2008 |
| Q: I am 4 months pregnant and my best friend just found out she was pregnant a month ago. My friend ... A: A woman is given a shower by her friends. It was originally meant to be a simple gathering at which ... | |
| business party invitation | 10/8/2008 |
| Q: We are hosting a company Christmas party at a new facility this year. As this is a more upscale ... A: Decide on the dress code for this party (i.e. cocktail,business casual,etc.) and include it on the ... | |
| Thank you notes | 10/8/2008 |
| Q: I wanted to know what the standard time line is for sending out "thank you's" for different gifts ... A: Andrea, The truly courteous thing to do is to write the thank you notes for gifts as soon as you ... | |
| Dresses for evening wear at a resort | 10/8/2008 |
| Q: The question is: What dresses be appropriate for a office conference at a resort. We are advised ... A: As you are allergic to the salt water and probably sensitive to the sun,why not get some linen ... | |
| Speaker etiquette | 10/7/2008 |
| Q: Twice in the last several years I have attended events associated with adult alumni at which a ... A: Yes,someone,even if it was an audience member should have stood up and said "Mr. X,you were invited ... | |
| engagement party gift | 10/7/2008 |
| Q: As the mother of the bride, what is an appropriate engagement party gift? I feel like money is too ... A: Then you know all too well that you were grossly underpaid for one of the most influential and ... | |
| grown children and step-families | 10/6/2008 |
| Q: Gamble, My question is how should I acknowledge my mother's husband. I am 19 and live at college ... A: Well..your question has a contradiction in it that troubles me. First you say that your mother was ... | |
| engagement party gift | 10/6/2008 |
| Q: As the mother of the bride, what is an appropriate engagement party gift? I feel like money is too ... A: There is no way for me to answer this question. Retired from the board of a Fortune 500 company or ... | |
| death | 10/6/2008 |
| Q: i recently began seeing a very nice gentleman. we have only had two dates and they were both very ... A: Do not send a text message. Have you tried to look up this woman's obituary on line? If you know ... | |
| ExHusband passed away | 10/4/2008 |
| Q: I just have a simple question (maybe). I received a phone call this morning from my brother who ... A: It would absolutely be appropriate to send a card or flowers to either his wife,his mother or both. ... | |
| Recital Etiquette | 10/4/2008 |
| Q: We have been invited to a Senior voice recital. Do we bring a gift as a congratulations? If so ... A: You do not have to bring a gift,but if you wish to give the student a note of congratulation or ... | |
| Baby Shower | 10/4/2008 |
| Q: Is it appropriate for me, the future grandmother, to host a baby shower for my daughter if the only ... A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for nearly any reason. Showers are meant to be given by the ... | |
| addressing married couple-dr. & mr. | 10/2/2008 |
| Q: I am going to a wedding that is for Dr. Courtney Williams and Anthony McCracken. How do I address ... A: Unless she chooses otherwise,she will be Mrs. Anthony McCracken socially. If she is taking his ... | |
| Social Conversation | 10/2/2008 |
| Q: My wife's brother and his companion were recently at our home for cocktails and dinner. During ... A: Aversion therapy administered via shock collars. (Available at any better pet or tractor supply ... | |
| Concert Tickets | 10/1/2008 |
| Q: I bought 4 tickets to see my favorite band. One was for me, one for my friend Darren, and two more ... A: While I understand what your intent was,the bottom line is that you sold the tickets to your friend. ... | |
| rsvp etiquette | 10/1/2008 |
| Q: My sisterinlaw makes a luncheon at her house every fall to get the family together. The family has ... A: It is time to give your sister in law a new address book. Complete with the addresses,e-mails and ... | |
| Retirement Luncheon Invitation | 9/29/2008 |
| Q: I work in a protocol office. We have been asked to compose and mail formal invitations to a ... A: You are absolutely correct. No one should ever have to 'pay for the privilege' of being invited as ... | |
| No gifts please | 9/29/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I recently renewed our vows. With the invitation I had a card that read: The ... A: No,your Mother's friend is quite wrong. No gifts means no gifts. It doesn't get much plainer than ... | |
| Married couples with different names | 9/28/2008 |
| Q: What is the correct way to address an invitation to a married couple with different last names. Is ... A: Trick question! A woman is never properly known by her given name with the honorific 'Mrs' in front ... | |
| desperately need advise/ encroaching priest | 9/25/2008 |
| Q: This is a real dilemma for our family. We have moved to a different part of Texas and built a home ... A: You are not responsible for him. End of story. Please tell him that it is just not possible for him ... | |
| 90th Bday Reception/Party | 9/24/2008 |
| Q: My Mothers 90th birthday is upcoming, and expressed to my family I would like to do a "reception" ... A: You shouldn't give two seconds of thought to what your brothers' vision for the party is! Fried ... | |
| people staying at our house uninvited and rent free | 9/24/2008 |
| Q: We have recently purchased a house ultimately at which both our sons will live whilst attending ... A: These are YOUR sons. You are allowed to get down to brass tacks with them. Decide what you feel is ... | |
| obituary of death of mother-in-law | 9/23/2008 |
| Q: My mother-in-law passed away. Her son and I have been separated for 4 years (married 19), have 3 ... A: It is not inappropriate,but it is the family's choice. The editor of the obituary column is given ... | |
| Halloween Party | 9/22/2008 |
| Q: I am thinking about hosting a "halloween party" for my kids. Our neighborhood is very large and ... A: So,if it rains the kids are out of luck completely? That's no fun. Better not to plan the party at ... | |
| Where do I draw the line - invites to husband's surprise 40th | 9/22/2008 |
| Q: I am unsure as to where to draw the line as to who gets invited to my husband's surprise party that ... A: This is a problem for hostesses from London to Bombay. Not to worry. You can not invite everyone. ... | |
| Retract holiday invitation | 9/20/2008 |
| Q: I invited a family for Thanksgiving about 2 weeks ago, and haven't received a response. I feel like ... A: If you are going to take the trouble to call and retract the invitation,why not just say instead ... | |
| Boyfriends daughters baby shower | 9/19/2008 |
| Q: My boyfriends ex wife is having a baby shower for their 23 year old daughter whom I have met a ... A: You are always entitled to your feelings. We're human beings,we cannot help having negative emotions ... | |
| Children's Birthday Party Etiquette | 9/19/2008 |
| Q: My children all have their birthdays in the same week. Calvin will be 7 on October 17, Maia will be ... A: It is never appropriate to mention gifts in any way on an invitation. No one ever should be made to ... | |
| Transfering | 9/18/2008 |
| Q: I currently work for a wine, beer and liquor distributor in Arizona but my boyfriend just moved to ... A: You are entitled to a personal life. If you have found happiness with this man,congratulations,damn ... | |
| lending out your things | 9/18/2008 |
| Q: I lent my trailer to my son to move a bed to his place he said he also had to do a tip run, the ... A: No,it is not unreasonable to expect your adult son to treat you with common courtesy. You did him a ... | |
| Need to cancel a family commitment | 9/16/2008 |
| Q: I have a step niece in New Jersey who is having her Bat Mitzvah this weekend. We committed to come ... A: Please have your son write a note of congratulations to his step cousin and let that be his ... | |
| Dining Out When Someone Else Pays | 9/14/2008 |
| Q: When a person, we'll call "the guest" has been invited out to eat by someone who is paying the bill, ... A: It is quite the opposite. The guest orders first since they are the ones being treated to the meal. ... | |
| proper technique with a fork | 9/13/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are in disagreement regarding the proper use of a fork while dining. He think it ... A: "Switching hands" is the correct way to dine in America. I am not going to be critical of your ... | |
| proper hostess etiquette | 9/12/2008 |
| Q: my question is , in other words since my boyfriend had to work for 3 days and I was home with his ... A: Would it have been nice if they had? Yes,of course. Their son's guest is their guest. However,you ... | |
| husband's ex wife | 9/12/2008 |
| Q: My husband's ex wife is terminally ill and has been given just weeks to live. Together they have ... A: This is a fine line you are going to have to walk. Going to the funeral may be seen as disrespectful ... | |
| Out of town guests in our home | 9/10/2008 |
| Q: Amanda, My husband and I are inviting three couples and there children (4 total) to come into town ... A: Stay in your own bedroom,please. It cuts down on the confusion and besides,which couple do you pick? ... | |
| pictures | 9/9/2008 |
| Q: I was brought up in the south and there are very defined ettique rules. I live in California now ... A: Please display the photographs where you will most enjoy seeing them. It would only be in poor taste ... | |
| engagement | 9/9/2008 |
| Q: My son just called and said he proposed to his girlfriend, she accepted but there is no wedding date ... A: Please call the parents of your future daughter in law right away. If it is possible to have dinner ... | |
| Awkward gift situation - kids | 9/8/2008 |
| Q: My son and his best friend have birthdays a day apart. We have known the family since the boys were ... A: As you offered to 'pay your share' on more than one occasion and were turned down,they probably ... | |
| upon death of spouse when to remove wedding ring | 8/22/2008 |
| Q: How soon after the death of a spouse it is considered "proper" to remove one's wedding ring? A: The surviving spouse may take off the ring right away (some people insist that it be buried with ... | |
| baby showers and grandmothers | 8/21/2008 |
| Q: Our daughter will have two baby-showers, one thrown by our side of the family and one by her ... A: Your wife is not obliged to go to both showers. She did not have enough advance notice for the ... | |
| bridal shower hostess gifts | 8/20/2008 |
| Q: I just recently had a bridal shower given for me. Well, I just heard from a few coworkers that I ... A: No,the guest of honor at a shower does not give gifts,she gets them. Write each of your hostesses a ... | |
| house guests | 8/20/2008 |
| Q: I just finished having my sister-in-law and her 3 kids (10, 5,and 1) stay with my husband and my 2 ... A: Having good manners is a two way street. You certainly have the right to a quiet work ... | |
| Guests Inviting Guests | 8/18/2008 |
| Q: Ms. Gamble - Recently, a friend of mine sent out an invitation to a few people, including me, ... A: Call for clarification on this one. A breezy "..invite whomever you want.." could be interpreted as ... | |
| appropriate color for a female guest to wear to a debutante ball... | 8/18/2008 |
| Q: My daughter was invited to a debutante ball. She has an elegant floor length gown, the color of ... A: If your daughter is over thirty,she may wear it. If she is a peer of the debutante,she should find ... | |
| Problems with a neighbour not saying thank you. | 8/18/2008 |
| Q: I have a neighbour who has recently moved in and is very unfriendly. I live in a studio flat on my ... A: Not to worry,you don't sound like a victim. Not enough whining. It is not unreasonable for your ... | |
| Question | 8/17/2008 |
| Q: I am planning on asking 8 or 9 of my husband's close friends to dinner for his 40th birthday at a ... A: Short answer,you don't. A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. If you can only give ... | |
| Funeral Etiquette | 8/16/2008 |
| Q: My ex-husband of 25 years' mother died. The reason for our divorce was that he was having an affair ... A: If you were close to your former mother-in-law and truly wish to go express your sympathy to the ... | |
| male-female ordering etiquette | 8/13/2008 |
| Q: Who is generally expected to order first in a restaurant, the man or woman? I find the ... A: If you are unhappy,please speak up. You should order first and should not have to 'go dutch' when ... | |
| Housewarming ! | 8/12/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are having a housewarming. We have been married for four years and are pretty much ... A: It is never correct to mention gifts in any way on an invitation. To do so is to tell people that ... | |
| issue with addressing people by their names! | 8/10/2008 |
| Q: My mom has an issue with people who don't use her name (at least occasionally) when talking to her ... A: Your mother can do nothing more than she already has. She has asked that her future daughter in law ... | |
| family vacation | 8/9/2008 |
| Q: My family is taking a vacation together and we decided to rent a beach house. Now, there are 7 ... A: Get a common concensus among the other families as to what "IS" a family unit. Any adult who has ... | |
| social stationary uses | 8/8/2008 |
| Q: lately i have been receiving correspondence cards where the sender has run a quick pen line thru ... A: Crossing your name out is for friends and family only. People you are on a 'first name basis' with. ... | |
| social stationary uses | 8/7/2008 |
| Q: lately i have been receiving correspondence cards where the sender has run a quick pen line thru ... A: Old,old custom. It shows that the letter or note has been written by the person and to a friend or ... | |
| Wedding Reception | 8/7/2008 |
| Q: We are caterers. our bartender brought his daughter to a function where the only children present ... A: Unless the child was unruly or eating her weight in cake,go with the basic 'babysitting' rate for ... | |
| Adult children relationship to parent's spouse | 8/5/2008 |
| Q: My ex-husband remarried when our sons were in their teens, to a woman who never wanted to be a ... A: The key phrase here is "the children are adult". Meaning they know perfectly well who did and did ... | |
| Addressing Envelopes Etiquette | 8/5/2008 |
| Q: I am in the process of sending out invitations for my Dad's 60th surprise party, however, I am ... A: Don't be nervous. Make a phone call to the couple that lives together and simply ask. Apologize and ... | |
| Card wordings | 8/5/2008 |
| Q: I wanted to give a card to a coworker who will be having a major surgery in two weeks. I can't seem ... A: Good call,most 'get well' cards are either too cheerful or too grim,no middle ground. Dear Tom, ... | |
| broken engagement | 8/4/2008 |
| Q: My daughter's fiancee' called off their June wedding back in January. They have spent several months ... A: Your daughter and her young man received gifts to celebrate their engagement,which did indeed ... | |
| Lab Coat Etiquette | 8/4/2008 |
| Q: Are long lab coats for MDs only? I am an RN, and a Diabetes Education Coordinator and ordered a ... A: On this subject I defer to my sister,Anne Gamble,RN This is from a conversation with her after I ... | |
| no gifts please at wedding party | 8/4/2008 |
| Q: We are having a party to celebrate our wedding, about 6 weeks after the ceremony. We are both 60, ... A: You are correct,gifts are never to be mentioned in any way,shape or form on an invitation. It ... | |
| Seating | 8/4/2008 |
| Q: When dinning out should couples sit across from each other? For example in a booth. Should the ... A: A couple may sit on the same side of the booth when (and only when) their ties to organized crime ... | |
| Apartment etiquette during campaign season | 8/3/2008 |
| Q: Amanda: I live on the third floor of a five-floor walkup in New York, and I'm a supporter of Barack ... A: As long as placing something semi-permanent on your door doesn't violate the terms of your lease,go ... | |
| business cards - when there is no business | 8/2/2008 |
| Q: I am between teaching positions as I work on my doctoral dissertation, what information should be ... A: As these are for 'networking' purposes,please include any information that you feel is relevant. ... | |
| new neighbor's and fence | 8/1/2008 |
| Q: first I would like to thank you for taking time to read this I will try to be brief but also ... A: First arm yourself with the facts,then go speak to her or write her a letter. Where are the property ... | |
| Dating a Widow | 7/30/2008 |
| Q: How does one know when is the appropriate time to approach a women who has been widowed? I have been ... A: It is still considered appropriate to give a widow or widower a full year before expecting them to ... | |
| birthday gifts | 7/30/2008 |
| Q: My son is have a rather large birthday party and we do not feel that he needs anymore gifts/toys. I ... A: Smith, Normally,presents are never mentioned on an invitation in any way,shape or form. ... | |
| Wedding Seating | 7/29/2008 |
| Q: My brother is getting married in a few weeks and I was just informed that I will be sitting away ... A: Speak to your brother calmly and tell him how this seating plan makes you feel. It may not change ... | |
| being kick all the time | 7/29/2008 |
| Q: i dated a girl that work in another department now she date my boss. i dumped her and i assume she ... A: Begin looking for a new job or keep your head down until this storm blows over. He won't be able to ... | |
| Friend's Birthday Party | 7/28/2008 |
| Q: I just co-hosted a birthday party for a friend at my house. I put much of the party together and ... A: Please go ahead and say something. "Hope,thank you so much for co-hosting Jane's birthday party with ... | |
| dinner guest inviting another guest | 7/28/2008 |
| Q: so dinner will be their treat. When I mentioned the dinner in front of the boyfriend's 14 year old ... A: Please do not put your hosts in an awkward position by asking if the child can tag along. At 14 he ... | |
| 50th wedding anniversary | 7/25/2008 |
| Q: My in-laws will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in Sept. 2009. They have 5 children. ... A: When you and your husband married,you each left your families to form a new one. Your primary duty ... | |
| Mother In-Law Gift Etiquette When She's Visiting | 7/24/2008 |
| Q: My wife is very close with her mom, and I have the perfect relationship with my Mother In-Law since ... A: Oh Gary,Gary,Gary... Have you ever heard the saying "You can be right or you can be happy"? ... | |
| Etiquette concering ex | 7/24/2008 |
| Q: My fiance has 2 grown children and 5 grandchildren. When the grandchildren have birthday parties or ... A: It sounds as if you need to have a heart to heart talk with your fiance. I did not realize that he ... | |
| Do I give a gift for the shower and wedding? | 7/23/2008 |
| Q: My step-nephew is getting married for the second time (I attended the first wedding, but was not ... A: Dead Diane, You are never required to give a gift for any celebration. No one ever has to pay for ... | |
| 50th wedding anniversary gift | 7/23/2008 |
| Q: We have been invited to a 50th wedding anniversary for parents of relatively close friends. Should ... A: After 50 years of marriage,they have probably accumulated all of the "stuff" they need. You are not ... | |
| 60th anniversary dinner | 7/23/2008 |
| Q: My husband and his siblings are going to have a 60th anniv. dinner for their parents at a nice ... A: No one should ever be required to pay for the privilege of being invited as a guest. Please consider ... | |
| wedding invite | 7/22/2008 |
| Q: I am invited to my cousins wedding however my 6 year old daughters soccer final and award ceremony ... A: Explain the situation to your cousin so that there will be no room for misunderstanding or hurt ... | |
| social dinner invite | 7/22/2008 |
| Q: I am having a bbq dinner and inviting an associate/friend. I don't know if he has a significant ... A: No need to overly worry about it. Just write something like this: Dear Tom, Pat and I are ... | |
| Houseguests | 7/22/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I have a vacation home. Each of the past 3 years, long-time friends of ours have ... A: Good heavens no. It's your home and you may have whomever you like come to stay,especially family. ... | |
| Etiquette for death of daughter's friends Father | 7/21/2008 |
| Q: The father of my 11 year old daughter's friend, whose parents were recently divorced (NOT amicably), ... A: Direct your flowers or notes of condolence to the child. She has suffered terribly with this divorce ... | |
| Etiquette concering ex | 7/21/2008 |
| Q: My fiance has 2 grown children and 5 grandchildren. When the grandchildren have birthday parties or ... A: As you are planning on marrying this man,please do what you can to establish and maintain a good ... | |
| Is it too much to ask of my "house guest" that he let me know when he will be around or not? | 7/21/2008 |
| Q: I have a friend staying with me. He stayed with me recently for close to 2 months prior to going ... A: First off,you are a SAINT. Two months of that with nary a word? In a studio apartment? Now he's back ... | |
| Gift for Eagle Scout ceremony | 7/21/2008 |
| Q: My husbands nephew,whom we rarely see will be receiving his eagle scout next weekend, is it proper ... A: Appropriate,but not expected. In other words,only give the nephew something if you really want to. ... | |
| protocol in attending bridal showers | 7/20/2008 |
| Q: I am invited to my girlfriend's son's wedding. I have purchased a gift certificate, advice received ... A: You are right not to wish to be roped into paying for this party. A hostess should never give a ... | |
| Baby #2 and kids are not 2 years apart | 7/20/2008 |
| Q: One of my best friends is pregnant with number 2. She just registered and is wanting a big shower ... A: A woman should never ask for or even hint that she wants or expects a party given in her honor. ... | |
| failed adoption | 7/19/2008 |
| Q: I have a dear friend who less than 24 hours after bringing her newly adopted son home, received a ... A: Letting her know that you are thinking of her would be kind. While there is nothing you can say or ... | |
| wedding gift | 7/18/2008 |
| Q: How much money is appropriate these days to give at a wedding? This is a close friends daughter. ... A: As I do not know you or your financial situation,I cannot answer your question. Two dollars might ... | |
| WEDDING GIFT | 7/16/2008 |
| Q: It's been so long...do I remember the wedding gift is sent to the bride before the wedding? We're ... A: Yes,please do mail the check to the bride at her home and make it out to her with her maiden name. ... | |
| Bridal Shower | 7/15/2008 |
| Q: As matron of honor in my friends wedding, I am hosting the bridal shower. Do I need to give a gift ... A: Please get her a token gift at the very least. I understand that you will be spending time,energy ... | |
| Bridal shower gift | 7/15/2008 |
| Q: A friend of mine invited me to her bridal shower. My question is, should I buy a gift from the ... A: A registry may be looked upon as a list of suggestions. You do not need to follow it at all. If the ... | |
| wedding venue | 7/15/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is engaged and living with her fiance in Atlanta. My husband and I live in the DC ... A: As you know a bride is traditionally married in her hometown. Even as few as fifty years ago a ... | |
| 25th wedding anniversary | 7/14/2008 |
| Q: my sister and I are planning my parents 25th wedding anniversary. our budget is pretty tight...so we ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. The friends and family who will be there to ... | |
| holiday visiting etiquette | 7/11/2008 |
| Q: My son and daugther in law have been married for 3 years. They live 4 hours away. We invite them ... A: It sounds as if it is time for your husband to have a heart to heart talk with your son. There is a ... | |
| Mom's 75th Birthday Party | 7/10/2008 |
| Q: We would like to have a money tree at my Mom's 75th birthday party because at her age, what do they ... A: There is never a polite way to ask for gifts. An invitation shouldn't ask that the recipient 'pay ... | |
| Parents | 7/10/2008 |
| Q: I have a tiny efficiency apartment in New York and my parents want to visit for a few days. When I ... A: No it was not wrong to suggest that they stay in a hotel. You do it saying "No,I won't hear of you ... | |
| houseguest | 7/9/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is a full time college student home for the summer. Her boyfriend, a full-time out of ... A: If you have spoken to her about her role and responsibilities are towards the family and all she can ... | |
| etiquette - bat mitzvah addresses | 7/7/2008 |
| Q: When doing a Bar/Bat Mitzvah these days, it's fairly commonplace to invite only one parent (usually ... A: Please address her as "Mrs John Doe". It is never correct to use a woman's given first name with ... | |
| thanks to neighbors | 7/6/2008 |
| Q: My cul-de-sac neighbors recently hosted a party for my family complete with gifts. I have about 15 ... A: If you have gone to the trouble to write notes to each person (or family) please follow through by ... | |
| wedding gifts | 7/4/2008 |
| Q: What is the proper gift/ behavior for a partially estranged father at his sons wedding? The step ... A: If he (the biological father) is invited to be at his son's wedding,he is no different than any ... | |
| how to address a sympathy card | 7/3/2008 |
| Q: I worked with a gentleman who passed away and would like to send a card to his wife. Should I write ... A: She properly remains Mrs John Doe until she remarries or dies. It does matter (although the ... | |
| Retirement party | 7/2/2008 |
| Q: We have an employee retiring after 38 years of service. When we send the invitation to her ... A: Either speak to her or write her a note. Dear Janet, On July 3,we are planning to hold a ... | |
| 50th Anniversary party | 6/30/2008 |
| Q: My in-laws have been talking about having a 50th Anniversary party this August. The last time it ... A: Oh good heavens. What are you? A mind reader? Why didn't your father in law take your husband aside ... | |
| wedding question | 6/30/2008 |
| Q: I have a question about wedding etiquette. I am my sister's matron of honor- she also has a maid of ... A: Unless your sister is having a very formal wedding reception, there is no reason you can't sit next ... | |
| Family visitors from out of the country | 6/29/2008 |
| Q: My brother and sister in law moved out of the country within the past year to a lower cost area. ... A: Well..there isn't much more that can be said,is there? You have already come to the conclusion ... | |
| wording for a party invitation | 6/28/2008 |
| Q: I am planning a get together for my husband's 40th, at a nice restaurant I need to know how to word ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. To ask people to pay for their own dinners is ... | |
| Bridal Shower Gifts | 6/27/2008 |
| Q: Is is appropriate to give a bride a gift at her bridal shower which is listed on her wedding ... A: Please go ahead and pick an item off of her registry if you wish. Since the things listed were ... | |
| 4th of July Party | 6/27/2008 |
| Q: I'm hosting a very small 4th of July cocktail/dinner party. After accepting our invitation, a ... A: Please tell your friend what you have told me,that this is a very small dinner party and the guest ... | |
| proper etiquette for greeting dignitaries | 6/7/2008 |
| Q: I'm doing a little research trying to figure out the proper way to greet dignitaries from various ... A: No,I am sorry I can't tell you of any particular title. If you have any specific country and ... | |
| Birthday and Retirement Celebrations | 6/5/2008 |
| Q: My co-workers are celebrating certain birthdays in our office. They decide on the date, place, and ... A: Are you in a position to change the policy? If you are,do so right away. If not,then take it upon ... | |
| formal dinner | 6/5/2008 |
| Q: I know that the forks are on my left and the knives are on my right, and I know that you eat dinner ... A: Your fork should be in your dominant hand. If your utensils are stainless steel you may cut the ... | |
| gift for graduation of boss' son | 6/4/2008 |
| Q: I just received an announcement for my boss' son's high school graduation which is in 3 days. I ... A: Please write the young man a note of congratulation and be done with it. There is a *good reason for ... | |
| Bereavement card etiquette | 6/3/2008 |
| Q: My mother-in-law recently passed away and my co-worker/friends -- along with the company CEO -- were ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your family's loss. The act of writing the thank you notes should be ... | |
| How to accept donations towards restaurant meal? | 6/3/2008 |
| Q: It's my partner's 50th birthday and I've organised a meal in a restaurant to celebrate with ten of ... A: Let the friends approach you. If you ask them,it could cause embarrassment. You made the request,so ... | |
| Etiquette | 6/2/2008 |
| Q: An answer to yourHi, My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, ... A: The flowers will be in horrible shape if you wait around with them for 9 or 10 hours. Send (or buy) ... | |
| Wedding Date with a friend... | 6/2/2008 |
| Q: Ok here goes. A good friend of my recently asked me to go out as her date to a wedding that she ... A: Valid constructive advice,huh? Well..you've come to the wrong place for that,mister. Kidding,of ... | |
| Canceling a party/celebration | 6/2/2008 |
| Q: we were planning my son's baptism to be held in a city that was convenient for both my parents and ... A: You were absolutely right to change the plans to accommodate your Dad's situation. That your in-laws ... | |
| Thank You Cards | 6/1/2008 |
| Q: I always wondered what is the right thing to do when you receive a thank you card. Do you ... A: You just mention to the children casually that you received the lovely thank you cards and add ... | |
| Seating arrangements for couples at restaurant | 5/31/2008 |
| Q: Can you please tell me the correct seating arrangements at a restaurant when 2 couples are dining. ... A: <Error 187> INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN # # ... | |
| graduation party invites | 5/21/2008 |
| Q: My son is graduating, and we are planning a party. In the meantime, we have been invited to several ... A: No one ever has to 'pay for the privilege' of being invited somewhere as a guest. Ever. No present ... | |
| death of ex-partner's common law spouse | 5/20/2008 |
| Q: My question is a little complicated. I recently learned that that the common law spouse of a woman ... A: If you wish to write a note to her,please do. An unexpected phone call from you would be an ... | |
| Dining Etiquette-male ordering | 5/20/2008 |
| Q: I have recently gone out with a man who orders dinner for me. I would assume that he was observing ... A: In China the man does indeed do all of the ordering of the food. In 2006,Reader's Digest did a ... | |
| Birthday | 5/19/2008 |
| Q: My question is about creating a registry for a birthday. I'm the oldest of 8 siblings...obviously we ... A: Thin ice here,but if your family members asked directly for you to give them a list of things your ... | |
| Dinner with co-worker | 5/17/2008 |
| Q: I've been invited to dinner by a former co-worker. He stays in touch with some of us at work, and ... A: No,don't take anyone unless you would just be more comfortable at dinner having someone along. It's ... | |
| graduation announcements | 5/17/2008 |
| Q: We are sending announcements to all aunts and uncles, but was wondering if they should be sent to ... A: You certainly may send the announcements to the cousins if you wish. An announcement is merely ... | |
| Two Bar MItzvah Celebrations--and Gifts? | 5/17/2008 |
| Q: My son has a friend whose parents are divorced and are not on great terms. The friend will have two, ... A: Neither parent should expect your son to 'pay for the privilege' of being a guest by bringing a ... | |
| Invited/Uninvited? | 5/17/2008 |
| Q: My cousin invited me to a wine tasing tour and noted that she will get together with two other ... A: Please call the cousin who made the original invitation and ask for clarification. As in "Did I get ... | |
| Dress Code | 5/16/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I have been invited to attend "An Evening got our Members" where we golf. The event ... A: Bergeron, All of these made up dress codes drive me mad. Stick any two words together and feel ... | |
| 60th wedding anniversary announcement | 5/16/2008 |
| Q: My husband's parents are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary and we would like to put an ... A: Thomas and Irene Doe will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary with a private family ... | |
| Getting Married | 5/16/2008 |
| Q: I am getting married in Aug 2008 and as I am currently working on the wedding invitations I would ... A: While I understand the problem you have,it is never appropriate to mention gifts in any way on an ... | |
| To cancel kid's party or not - low response? | 5/16/2008 |
| Q: My 8 year old son invited all of his 2nd grade class to his birthday party at a local bowling ... A: The worst thing you could do would be to cancel this party. Your child will be so hurt and ... | |
| Graduation Party Gifts | 5/16/2008 |
| Q: Our son is graduating from elementary school. One of his friend's parent is throwing a graduation ... A: Everything you need to know is in the line "It's just and excuse to throw a party." No need to take ... | |
| invitations | 5/15/2008 |
| Q: I would like to invite my brother and his live in girlfriend to my son's graduation. How do I ... A: Please use two lines: Jane Arkin Herbert Doe ... | |
| graduation | 5/14/2008 |
| Q: I was wondering how early you should send out high school graduation announcements ANSWER: Dear ... A: This is a commonly confused pair of terms,so I am happy to help. An invitation asks someone to ... | |
| Graduation Announcement | 5/13/2008 |
| Q: We just received the graduation annoucement we are to send out for our daughters high school ... A: Half past two o'clock is correct,two thirty o'clock is not correct. Usually with invitations almost ... | |
| gift giving by 13-year-old son | 5/13/2008 |
| Q: I have a 13-year-old son. I have been divorced from his mother since he was small, and we share ... A: It has taken me nearly a full 24 hours to cool down sufficiently so that I may answer this. As ... | |
| addressing a wedding invitations | 5/13/2008 |
| Q: How would you address a wedding invitation to a couple who is engaged to be married in a couple ... A: Jane Doe John Adams 123 Race Street Yourtown,ST ... | |
| death | 5/13/2008 |
| Q: My Uncle recently passed away. My mom asked my sister and I if we were planning on giving a card, ... A: It is not unusual for people to give money to a family. This is usually done for a young family who ... | |
| Etiquette regarding joint birthday party | 5/12/2008 |
| Q: I have a close friend who is turning 60 this August. I had planned to throw her a big party but ... A: Anyone may throw a party for any reason and at any time. I don't understand your territorial ... | |
| Wedding gifts | 5/12/2008 |
| Q: We are getting married and have received some cash gifts. We do not want to receive wedding ... A: It is never appropriate to mention gifts on an invitation. So, you did the correct thing there. ... | |
| cemetery etiquette | 5/12/2008 |
| Q: I'm not sure this falls under the realm of etiquette or not. I might just need advice. I recently ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. It is a stressful time for you made all the worse by other ... | |
| declining an invitaion | 5/12/2008 |
| Q: my daughter has been invited to be a debutante and she is not sure about doing this. i feel that a ... A: If she is really sure that she does NOT want to participate,make her write the letter herself. It ... | |
| Fence Etiquette | 5/12/2008 |
| Q: My neighbor wants to replace the fence that surrounds his yard. His yard is elevated above my and ... A: I couldn't quite picture the fence before. Yes,you are correct,my answer remains the same. It's all ... | |
| Fence Etiquette | 5/10/2008 |
| Q: My neighbor wants to replace the fence that surrounds his yard. His yard is elevated above my and ... A: Robert Frost wrote "Good fences make good neighbors". If the wall would benefit you as well,why not ... | |
| Baby shower gift giving | 5/8/2008 |
| Q: I own my own business and have 12 girls working for me. Over the last year several girls have had ... A: For the love of mud,stay OUT of it. This kind of drama is not something a boss should be getting ... | |
| Bridal Shower for Stepdaughter | 5/7/2008 |
| Q: My stepdaughter is getting married in June. The shower is at the maid of honor's home but the bride ... A: Your stepdaughter should not have any part to play in the planning of this party. It is supposed to ... | |
| Receiving a Graduation Invitation LATE | 5/7/2008 |
| Q: I received an invitation from my nephew's mother 2 days before the graduation, which was being held ... A: I don't know what you were planning to give the boy,but if it was cash,please up the amount out of ... | |
| Graduation Announcement | 5/6/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is receiving her DVM soon. She (we) want to send out announcements to our friends. We ... A: Either you or your daughter may send the announcements. Remember, you're just sending information to ... | |
| college graduation party | 4/25/2008 |
| Q: I want to plan a party for my son's graduation, but I'm not sure about the time-frame. Is is ... A: Judy, You may have it on the day or in the weeks after the event. Everyone understands how hectic ... | |
| Thinking of You card for an ex father-in-law | 4/25/2008 |
| Q: I just found out that my ex father-in-law has been diagnosed with stomach cancer. I have been ... A: Write a straight forward note to the man. "Dear Joe, Although she admitted later ... | |
| Return address | 4/25/2008 |
| Q: My sister and I are addressing envelopes for thank-you cards to those who acknowledged the recent ... A: On this we must defer to the wishes of the good people at the United States Postal System. Please ... | |
| House warming party | 4/24/2008 |
| Q: Just moved into a new home, I will be giving a crawfish boil/house warming party. I really need some ... A: To ever mention gift on an invitation is wrong. The only time you may ever express a wish for ... | |
| College Graduation Announcement Etiquette | 4/23/2008 |
| Q: In two and a half weeks I will be graduating from college. I have gone through some bad times and it ... A: Your uncle couldn't BE more wrong. An announcement is merely INFORMATION. There is no action ... | |
| co-worder | 4/23/2008 |
| Q: My boss is stealing my clients by under charging them,is this ok as a boss? A: It is highly unethical,but as he is your boss,there is probably very little that you can do except ... | |
| Wedding Invitation ettique | 4/22/2008 |
| Q: I am divorced and my ex wife has remarried. Our son is getting married and the invitation reads. ... A: It would correctly read "his son",but if your son feels closer to his stepmother,then there is ... | |
| Tupperware Parties | 4/22/2008 |
| Q: Should you happen to decide to attend a party, are you obligated to buy at least one thing? I am ... A: I've answered this one before,so I'll share that one with you. As to "why?"--I have no idea. I ... | |
| Two dads, one bride... | 4/22/2008 |
| Q: My soon to be daughter-in-law has a dilema...she has both a father and a step-father that feel they ... A: As much as you would like to help your future daughter in law,this is one you need to stay out of. ... | |
| Birthday Gifts | 4/21/2008 |
| Q: We are having a first birthday party for our triplets. Due to the crazy amount of unneeded toys and ... A: You may say that you are requesting that no gifts are given, implying that you only want to share ... | |
| talking back | 4/21/2008 |
| Q: hey amanda i dont know why,but i always talk back when my mom or sisters are mad at me, i just ... A: Perhaps it is the manner and tone in which you tell them your side of the story that is the problem. ... | |
| sympathy cards and email | 4/20/2008 |
| Q: After the recent death of my husband I have received many cards and e-mails. I appreciate the ... A: Please know how very sorry I am for this loss in your life. Those who have suffered a death in the ... | |
| doctoral graduation announcements | 4/20/2008 |
| Q: I understand that graduation announcements are traditionally "announced" by the parents. However, ... A: Please send out the announcements in your name. It's far too cutsey to pretend the children are ... | |
| Graduation Announcement--Who is the Sender--parent or Graduate? | 4/18/2008 |
| Q: The inside envelope on the college graduation envelope should be addressed to the person as if you ... A: Whomever has the pen in their hand at the critical moment makes the call. If the parents ... | |
| Bridal Shower | 4/17/2008 |
| Q: I am divorce and so is my spouse to be, what is the protocol regarding the type of bridal shower I ... A: As bridal and baby showers are to be thrown by the woman's friends, you don't have to think about ... | |
| Flowers vs. Plants for death of friends mother | 4/17/2008 |
| Q: My co-worker and good friend's mother passed away. 1/2 of our co-workers want to chip in for a ... A: Plants or flowers are equally acceptable. So take a vote or get a mixed basket with both live plants ... | |
| mother of the bride | 4/16/2008 |
| Q: I am the long time lover of the mother of the bride and I have been unavoidably invited to attend ... A: Barker, Please decline the invitation. It would cause undue stress for the parents of the bride to ... | |
| graduation gifts | 4/16/2008 |
| Q: In recent years we've noticed that kids graduating from high school are expecting a monetary gift. ... A: Frankly,what the little dears expect is not remotely important. You are never required to give ... | |
| RSVP Etiquette | 4/15/2008 |
| Q: I was invited to a party that requests an RSVP. To me RSVP means to reply if you are coming to ... A: RSVP is Répondez s'il vous plaît", a French phrase that translates into "please respond". Anytime ... | |
| reply card | 4/14/2008 |
| Q: My husband is a physician and over the years we have recieved countless invitations with reply ... A: Absolutely! If the ubiquitous 'M' does not apply,be ruthless with the pen! People in the ... | |
| Funeral Etiquette for the family re: plants/flowers sent | 4/14/2008 |
| Q: This past weekend was my Grandmother's funeral. My ex-fiance, as well as my employer both sent ... A: Please know how sorry I am for not only the loss of a beloved relative,but for the conflict with ... | |
| Gift giving | 4/13/2008 |
| Q: I am recovering from a major surgery from two weeks ago and will not be returning to work for ... A: A perfect gift (to me) would be a letter of thanks,written from the heart. Express sincerely what ... | |
| funeral etiquette | 4/11/2008 |
| Q: What is the proper etiquette for a funeral of your ex-husbands' mother? We have 3 grown children 6 ... A: Please sit on the friends side of the church and look to your former in-laws for clues as to the ... | |
| Mother/wedding gifts | 4/10/2008 |
| Q: I was recently married and my mother is demanding to be given a copy of the list of gifts we ... A: Just say "Well,Mom,I was too embarrassed to say it before,but once we wrote the thank you notes,we ... | |
| Graduation announcements for deceased parent | 4/10/2008 |
| Q: I will be sending out graduation announcements for my son's H.S. graduation. His father passed away ... A: Thomas Ford Mitchell son of John Mitchell and Kristen Doe ... | |
| introductions-guest of subtenant | 4/9/2008 |
| Q: I'm divorced, middle-aged male and sub-tenant on a ranch property consisting of six acres. The main ... A: Burns, The next time you see your landlord/friend and can casually work it in,just say "You know,I ... | |
| grad gift giving | 4/8/2008 |
| Q: I had someone ask me this morning if you're required to give graduation gifts to other seniors (at ... A: You never have to give a gift for any occasion. All you need to do is consider your level of ... | |
| Undergraduate Graduation | 4/7/2008 |
| Q: I need help ASAP! My boyfriend, his brother, and I are all graduating in May. We are having a ... A: After all the advice I gave you,that is what you took away from it? No,I don't have to allow for ... | |
| wedding scheduling | 4/7/2008 |
| Q: My daughter has been planning her JUNE WEDDING since last MAY. The brides guests will mostly come ... A: It sounds to me as if this niece's wedding is a very convenient excuse not to spend the time and ... | |
| Visiting parents bedroom assignment | 4/6/2008 |
| Q: I have this idea that when a young couple receive their parents, or an older "distinguished" guest ... A: No one should have to give up their bedroom for a guest under normal circumstances. The host and/or ... | |
| Announcments for College Graduation | 4/5/2008 |
| Q: My daughter will be graduating from college later this month. What is the correct etiquette for ... A: Dawn, An announcement is merely information to be sent to those people you feel would be interested ... | |
| Engagement Party Question | 4/4/2008 |
| Q: My fiance and I have extremely large families. We are planning on throwing an Engagment Party and ... A: There is simply no polite way to invite the family members to a wedding related function but not the ... | |
| Rude not to invite mother to stay for dinner? | 4/4/2008 |
| Q: Recently, I invited my mother (who lives a few steps across the street) to come over and spend a ... A: Your reasons for not asking her to stay were sound and reasonable. Good manners do not require you ... | |
| Surprise Party Dates | 4/3/2008 |
| Q: Is it okay to throw a surprise birthday party two weeks after the persons actual birthdate? Previous ... A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for nearly any reason. Please go ahead and have the surprise ... | |
| invitations | 4/2/2008 |
| Q: How soon is too soon to send out invitations to a Baby Shower I am cohosting and how late is too ... A: Two weeks used to be plenty of time for casual parties like a shower. However,with everyone's crazy ... | |
| wedding invitation list | 4/2/2008 |
| Q: My son will be married in Aug. The wedding will be 3 hours from here in a small church. We have ... A: ABSOLUTELY! Anyone can throw a party at any time and for nearly any reason. Of course you want to ... | |
| Dining out etiquette | 4/1/2008 |
| Q: I have a question regarding meal orders when dining out. My fiancé and I will be meeting two other ... A: Try not to split one item. See if you can't each get a salad or other side dish. Make sure that you ... | |
| Not invited to the wedding | 4/1/2008 |
| Q: My uncle's daughter is getting married in June, the "Save the Date's" have already gone out and I ... A: This sounds like a simple case of being overlooked. Accidentally. I say this because you didn't tell ... | |
| Funeral Thank you cards | 3/30/2008 |
| Q: My mother recently passed away and we have been debating if Thank You cards should be sent to all ... A: While it is unnecessary to send notes of response for cards and letters of condolence,you may if you ... | |
| engagement protocol | 3/28/2008 |
| Q: Our son is getting engaged. What is the etiquette regarding calling the brides parents? Who gives ... A: The bride's family usually gives the engagement party. However,if they cannot afford or have no ... | |
| BAPTISM | 3/27/2008 |
| Q: I WILL LIKE TO KNOW WHO PAY FOR A CHILD BAPTISM THE PARENTS OR GOD PARENTS A: The parents take care of the expenses associated with the baptism. A Godparents are responsible for ... | |
| dress code for a sweet sixteen | 3/25/2008 |
| Q: the sweet sixteen young lady will be wearing red and white; she would like everyone invited to ... A: The best way to get the word out is by using the grapevine that exists in every social group,but ... | |
| Wedding etiquette | 3/24/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I have been invited to my nephews wedding but my three adult children and their ... A: Finch, You have expressed your hurt and disappointment to the groom and he is unmoved. An odd ... | |
| Bad Gifts | 3/22/2008 |
| Q: My Mother insists on sending my son cheaply/poorly made clothing that doesn't fit his body type or ... A: While I certainly sympathize with your feelings,you've already answered your ownI know that I should ... | |
| wedding gift when you can't attend? | 3/21/2008 |
| Q: A family friend is getting married in another state (about a ten hour drive). Some of my family ... A: Send them a letter of congratulation and offer any thoughtful insights you have learned about ... | |
| Funeral etiquette | 3/19/2008 |
| Q: My boyfriend's mother passed away Monday night after being in a nursing home for 3 years. I've only ... A: Ask him. Simply say what you said to me. That you care for him deeply and want to support him in any ... | |
| Wedding Invitation Ettiquette | 3/17/2008 |
| Q: I understand that it's a no-no to include bridal registry and other gift information with wedding ... A: While I understand and applaud the sentiment,it's still taboo. Soliciting gifts,even for a selfless ... | |
| Proper footwear to go out to eat. | 3/17/2008 |
| Q: I like to go to dinner with my husband at family type casual restaurants like Chili's, Red Lobsters, ... A: This is not an etiquette question. It is a relationship question disguised as a conflict over what ... | |
| Should I follow up people that didn't attend my party celebrations | 3/16/2008 |
| Q: Last night was my hen's night. It was a fairly intimate event with less than 15 people and almost ... A: While I am sure that you are disappointed in your friends behavior,it is best to say nothing. "We ... | |
| Debutante ball invitation | 3/16/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I received an invitation to the debutante ball from 3 girls.We will not be able to ... A: While it is not necessary to send a gift,you may,if you wish send the girls flowers on or near the ... | |
| 40th Birthday | 3/15/2008 |
| Q: I'm planning a surprise 40th birthday for my husband at a bowling alley. Should the guests pay for ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Address the invitations specifically to the ... | |
| baptism announcement | 3/15/2008 |
| Q: I baptized my third child on the same day as her first birthday party. the party was a huge affair, ... A: By all means,send out an announcement to whomever you please. An announcement is merely information ... | |
| Why we say "I'm Good" or "Fine" when asked "How are you?" | 3/14/2008 |
| Q: I was recently put under the microscope by a somewhat grouchy (at the time) friend, when he recently ... A: It is just part of normal social interaction. "How are you?" "I am well,thank you,and you?" A ... | |
| Wedding Invitation Parent Wording | 3/14/2008 |
| Q: Gamble, I am trying to write my wedding invitation verses and I am stuck on how to word the names ... A: Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smo Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Ann ... | |
| College Graduation | 3/12/2008 |
| Q: I will be graduating this August with my BS in Business administration. I am 37 years old. I also am ... A: By all means,send invitations to your graduation if you wish. Do remember that no one but your ... | |
| Whistling | 3/12/2008 |
| Q: May I ask when it is rude to whistle. I was always told it is rude to whistle when not in private. A: The 'rules' came about because most whistling is very annoying. Few people who whistle do it ... | |
| baby shower's | 3/12/2008 |
| Q: I recently received a message on myspace from the step-mother of my husband's best friends wife ... A: "step-mother of my husband's best friends wife..." What? Oh, never mind,it doesn't matter. It's 20 ... | |
| Conversational Etiquette | 3/11/2008 |
| Q: Today I was having a conversation with my mother (86) and my son (17). In the middle of the ... A: What matters here is that your Mother felt left out. You should have just said "I'm sorry Mom. We ... | |
| Gum Chewing | 3/11/2008 |
| Q: When is it considered bad manners to chew gum? A: The penalty for smuggling gum into Singapore is a year in prison and a 10,000 dollar fine. This ... | |
| son's wedding | 3/10/2008 |
| Q: My son proposed 4.5 weeks after he and his fiancee started dating. They have set a date of June 20, ... A: There really is nothing to be done. I understand that you are trying to smooth the path for your son ... | |
| sympathy cards | 3/9/2008 |
| Q: My sister-in-law recently died. My husband has been getting some sympathy cards addressed to both of ... A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Death is an awkward and painful event for everyone ... | |
| Theater | 3/8/2008 |
| Q: At the theater, when one is passing in front of other patrons in order to reach his/her seat, should ... A: Apostolou, Emily Post said you face forward,toward the stage. What her reasoning was,I do not ... | |
| New neighbor | 3/7/2008 |
| Q: I rented and moved into a house 2 weeks ago. Earlier this week there was a calling card in my ... A: No 'hostess gift' required. Just show up and be charming and polite so that she knows there isn't an ... | |
| Dissertation Chair Gift? | 3/7/2008 |
| Q: I'm about to finish graduate school. Should I give my dissertation chair a gift? And if so, what ... A: Congratulations! Give a gift,but make it personal. You've paid for your education,so a ... | |
| paying for friend's dinner | 3/7/2008 |
| Q: Recently, my husband and went out to eat with his cousin, whom we don't see very often. As we sat ... A: There is nothing wrong with getting the matter settled before you eat. I prefer to have a word with ... | |
| Wedding Shower | 3/6/2008 |
| Q: I am the maid of honor for my sisters wedding. She is planning to invite only immediate family and ... A: If you do invite these relatives to the shower but not the wedding itself,be prepared for fifty ... | |
| 2 cats and 1 fiance | 3/5/2008 |
| Q: Yesterday, my fiance called me to ask how my day went. I told him how it went and asked him how his ... A: Oh dear. What is he going to do when you have kids? This isn't about the cats. Fights in ... | |
| Unannounced Visitor!! | 3/5/2008 |
| Q: My roommate and I are in a bit of a situation. We live in a basement suite, while the landlord and ... A: That is a tough spot to be in. She doesn't sound as if she has much of a life and I would bet ... | |
| hotel bill single vs family | 3/5/2008 |
| Q: Recently we planned on ending our husbands and some of the kids painballing. I found a place and ... A: Split the cost evenly,but see to it that the men without children get some benefits. Like maybe the ... | |
| "address" for baptism reception | 3/4/2008 |
| Q: My son is being baptized soon, and at our church, baptism takes place during the regular worship ... A: "Reception to follow in Holloway Fellowship Hall immediately after the service." Lets them know it ... | |
| Class Reunion Protocol | 3/2/2008 |
| Q: It is time for my 30th class reunion. The class officers did the 5th, 10th, and 20th. However, ... A: Make one last effort to contact these two class officers. Leave a message saying "If we don't hear ... | |
| College Graduation | 3/2/2008 |
| Q: Our eldest daughter, and the eldest grandaughter, is graduating from college in May. What is the ... A: Announcements is merely a way of conveying information. There is no action required on the part of ... | |
| Sending a birthday card to my son's ex-girlfriend | 2/29/2008 |
| Q: I would like to send a birthday card to my son's previous girlfriend, who is truly sweet and whom I ... A: While I understand why you want to do it,you have the maturity and life experience to know that it's ... | |
| "Future Lawyers"? | 2/29/2008 |
| Q: Gamble: I am a high school student with high hopes of becoming an attorney. I have done Mock ... A: I can certainly see where it would annoy you,but try to let it go. The next term that you will be ... | |
| Charging Guests for Friend's B-Day Party | 2/29/2008 |
| Q: I'm throwing my best friend a 30th b-day party at a Karaoke bar. The private room for 2hrs is around ... A: Never give a party that you cannot afford. People never should have to pay for the privilege of ... | |
| proper word phrasing | 2/19/2008 |
| Q: I am throwing a party for my father's 70th birthday. I am a poor teacher, however. So, I can pay for ... A: It is criminal what we pay teachers,isn't it? A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. ... | |
| anniversary party | 2/15/2008 |
| Q: I will be attending a combination 25th and 50th Wedding Anniversary party. Renewing of vows will be ... A: He should wear the tie and if he sees others are not wearing them,he can ditch it. Better to be ... | |
| Recomendation letters | 2/15/2008 |
| Q: I was asked to write a recommendation letter for a neighbors son for a scholarship for college. At ... A: Most scholarship committees and private clubs that require a letter want it to be private. They want ... | |
| inlaws | 2/14/2008 |
| Q: My baby is due in three months and my inlaws are already planning on staying with us when the baby ... A: Madness. You are going to be giving birth and,almost immediately after,be forced to sleep on the ... | |
| Responding to an invitation to a "party that is not a party" ie tupperware, Partylite, | 2/14/2008 |
| Q: Is there an obligation to respond to the RSVP of a non-party like a tupperware party? Or is it ... A: Oh don't get me started on poorly disguised pyramid schemes. "Recruit 3 friends and become a ... | |
| Mom's birthday invitation | 2/14/2008 |
| Q: I'm having a birthday party for my mom at a local restaurant. I am trying to figure out how I am ... A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Please consider adjusting your plans to just ... | |
| passed bar exam party | 2/13/2008 |
| Q: I was invited to a party for a cousin who passed the bar exam. They are now officially an attorney ... A: Send a card or a note of congratulation only. She just needs your good wishes for a successful ... | |
| baby shower etiquette | 2/13/2008 |
| Q: I am having my second child, which was a hard won battle at 42. My friends keep saying "When is the ... A: An announcement is merely information that is sent to those who may wish to know it. No action is ... | |
| Bridal Shower | 2/13/2008 |
| Q: I would like to have a Bridal Luncheon/ Shower for my son's fiance at a lovely Inn.My son and fiance ... A: A relative may give a party in honor of the bride to be,they may not properly host a shower. ... | |
| Engagement Party | 2/12/2008 |
| Q: Who should give an engagement party when the couple is paying for their own wedding? How long after ... A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for any reason. With an engagement,the party needs to be ... | |
| etiquette for a widow recently bereaved | 2/12/2008 |
| Q: What is the etiquette for a widow recently bereaved regarding responding to notes of condolences, ... A: She gets a pass on 'normal' for a solid year. No one who has suffered such a loss has to do ... | |
| How to address a sympathy card after the death of a husband | 2/11/2008 |
| Q: how do you address a sympathy card to the widow? Should it be Jane Smith or Mrs. Jane Smith or Mrs. ... A: She is "Mrs Robert Smith" until she dies or remarries. She can also be properly addressed as "Jane ... | |
| Getting Married | 2/11/2008 |
| Q: I would like to know if it is improper to get married on your birthday. I am planning a wedding and ... A: No,there is nothing incorrect or unlucky about getting married on your birthday. I wish you and your ... | |
| Table manner early start | 2/11/2008 |
| Q: I considered myself well mannered, however at a recent gathering in a restaurant, a group of 20 ... A: One of the people who hasn't been served needs to say "I hope everyone else will agree with me ... | |
| correcting others | 2/11/2008 |
| Q: My Mom thinks it is bad manners if you use improper grammar or mispronounce peoples' names. So she ... A: Your Mom should only correct those she has personally brought into this world. Everyone else she ... | |
| PotLucks | 2/10/2008 |
| Q: I have been called rude because I hosted a potluck dinner this fall. My husband & I are in our ... A: In 1621,a very famous pot luck was held in this country. We now celebrate the anniversary annually ... | |
| complaints | 2/10/2008 |
| Q: I recently hosted a Valentines Ball for a City Wide social group. Each person paid $27.50 for a ... A: If people paid for their tickets,you were not the hostess,you were the planner or organizer. At ... | |
| how to address bridal shower invitations........ | 2/10/2008 |
| Q: how do address bridal shower invitations for just women with daughters, can I say Mrs. Jane Smith ... A: Please use two lines: Mrs Robert Smith Misses Amy & Ann Smith ... | |
| Proper Etiquette when interacting with someone who rejected you | 2/10/2008 |
| Q: This is my first time on your site. I am a bisexual sophomore in college and a few weeks ago I ... A: Lauren, Asking someone over to your room is a casual thing. It wouldn't be clear to anyone that ... | |
| Not be introduced | 2/10/2008 |
| Q: My husband has the habit of not introducing me. If we are at a store and someone comes up and speaks ... A: First what you do is kick him. In the shin. What? Your state and local laws don't allow for that ... | |
| An adult visiting-daughter's response | 2/9/2008 |
| Q: A adult daughter has been home with her parents for week one of a 16-week stay. The Dad has just ... A: As they raised her,they may respond in pretty much any way that they see fit. The options are to ask ... | |
| destination wedding invitations | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: We are getting married in Las Vegas in October and will be sending out save the date cards shortly ... A: These are special circumstances,ignore 'the rule' and do what you need to do to get a proper head ... | |
| Was I wrong being upset about a birthday gift? | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: I had a birthday in December and my friends and I went out for a birthday dinner. I thought that a ... A: In short,yes,you were wrong. You over-reacted and behaved like a child. I don't know what her ... | |
| Unexpected guests | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: I need to know how to handle unexpected company that show up every January from out of state. These ... A: It's your house and it's time to take it back. Having good manners does not mean you have to be a ... | |
| Debutante gifts | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: Our guest list for my daughter's debutante ball includes good friends of ours, but they are not well ... A: Only very close family and friends give a deb gifts. People who are so close to the girl that they ... | |
| Funeral's | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: My mother passed away a few years ago. She lived in Texas and my husband’s brothers lived in ... A: Each situation is different and as I do not know your family, there is no way to comment on the ... | |
| Receving duplicate gifts from friends | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: I was left in a tight spot recently regarding duplicated birthday gifts from 2 friends. Friend #1 ... A: You meant to do a kindness by heading off a 'smart Aleck' (and don't we all have those in our ... | |
| Addressing a family with different last names | 2/8/2008 |
| Q: In the situation where the Mom kept her last name and kids have Dad's last name. How would you ... A: Just use two lines,or three depending on how old the kids are. Elise Howard ... | |
| Etiquette for writing thank you cards for gifts | 2/7/2008 |
| Q: I've been having an argument with my mother about something. My mother insists that no matter the ... A: Perhaps I can help you look at this situation differently. For whatever reason,this great aunt feels ... | |
| Taking food to someone's home | 2/7/2008 |
| Q: If someone is in town after an extended absence and you call that person and ask if you can come ... A: Please give them a couple of options and leave it open to other suggestions. As in "I was thinking ... | |
| Baby shower | 2/7/2008 |
| Q: A friend is adopting a baby from China and I would like to host a shower for her. In speaking with ... A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford. Offer your guests only the coffee and dessert ... | |
| 40th anniversary question | 2/7/2008 |
| Q: My parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary on Feb. 17th. My father is in poor ... A: Add a line like this one at the end of the announcement: While Mr and Mrs Thompson are unable to ... | |
| TABLE SETTING | 2/6/2008 |
| Q: For a formal dinner for 10, I have 10 wine glasses and only 4 water glasses. It is OK to set your ... A: You don't say just who is coming to dinner,but I am guessing it's family and friends? Please go ... | |
| when are thank you cards necessary | 2/6/2008 |
| Q: A friend of mines in-laws are mad at her for not sending thank you cards to the people that came to ... A: Good heavens NO. Listen,this friend of yours has suffered a horrible loss. She officially gets a ... | |
| Vow renewals | 2/6/2008 |
| Q: What is the gift giving expectations for a couple who are renewing their wedding vows after 25 ... A: A gift is never required for any reason or any occasion. So it has to be a question of how much ... | |
| wedding dress mob | 2/6/2008 |
| Q: can the mother of the bride and mother of the groom wear the same color dress A: If the dresses were of a dark color,say navy,then it would be fine,people would be looking at the ... | |
| ordination of a bishop | 2/5/2008 |
| Q: I was invited to a ordination of a bishop (a distant relative) I responded by rsvp date that I would ... A: You are not required to give a gift,but if you do,the traditional route is to make a donation to the ... | |
| Destination wedding etiquette | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: As mother of the groom can I have a after wedding reception for our side of the family - we are a ... A: Absolutely. Anyone may give a party for any reason and at any time. I wish your son and his bride ... | |
| All expense paid wedding | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: A very close friend is having a wedding in Maui, small about 50 people. He is paying for flights ... A: It doesn't matter if they get married in the park and served you all day old donuts or have a ... | |
| party invites - adults only | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: How do I politely state (in a surprise birthday invitation) that party is for adults only AND ... A: Dear Members of The Westwood Trails Group, On Saturday,February 16th there will be a surprise ... | |
| wedding gown | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: the back to my gown is open,but im not going braless.a strapless bra wont help because you can still ... A: Well..not sure that this is technically an etiquette question, but I'm here to help. I Googled the ... | |
| How can I get this woman to quit bothering me? | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: My mother died in April 2003. A lady whom I had not seen in about 23 years came over. All she did ... A: Losing a parent can be stressful,I know. This woman probably meant well,but if it was 'creepy' to ... | |
| singing manners | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: Is it bad manners to hum or sing along with recorded music in the presence of my husband, in our ... A: Frohmader, Well..let's see..if the couple is newly wed,singing out of tune would be considered a ... | |
| death of a friend's husband | 1/31/2008 |
| Q: We took up a collection at work for good friend who just lost her husband and there is controversy ... A: Have someone write her a check and include it in with a condolence note. Dear Sue, We are ... | |
| appropriate gift | 1/30/2008 |
| Q: Is there an appropriate for a college graduate who made All-American for football. Family having a ... A: Mercurio, You are not required to give a gift unless you expressly wish to do so. Let your level ... | |
| wedding shower | 1/30/2008 |
| Q: What is the protocol on giving a shower or come and go tea for a bride who is planning a small ... A: Please do not invite people to the shower if they have no hope of getting an invitation to the ... | |
| engagement party guest list | 1/30/2008 |
| Q: Our wedding is in Aspen, CO...we live in Atlanta, GA. We are having a pretty small wedding and ... A: Please don't invite people to the engagement party if you have no intention of sending them an ... | |
| Formal attire for Franco-Mexican wedding | 1/29/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are attending a 4 PM wedding in Cuernavaca on Feb. 16 (two very wealthy families). ... A: Well..I e-mailed a few people in Cuernavaca and still have not heard anything,so I guess I will have ... | |
| favors for neighbors | 1/28/2008 |
| Q: I live on a street where neighbors are generally very friendly and social with each other, though we ... A: You don't need a concrete reason to say no. The phrase "I'm sorry,it just wouldn't be convenient for ... | |
| Is it appropriate to kiss on the lips? | 1/28/2008 |
| Q: I've been dating a man for a year and a half. He is best friends with a woman. I accept this, ... A: How..European of him! Look,bottom line,you are the girlfriend. If you are not okay with this,then ... | |
| Baby/wedding showers | 1/28/2008 |
| Q: I was taught by my mother that family members do not host showers for other family members. This ... A: Your Mom's advice was absolutely correct. It's one thing for close friends to give you a small ... | |
| Photo Christmas cards | 1/27/2008 |
| Q: When sending photo Christmas cards should the whole family if they live under one roof be in the ... A: You may have anyone in the photo that you wish. Keith Richards,if he's passing by,can be in your ... | |
| Birth Congratulations | 1/26/2008 |
| Q: When someone has a new baby, is it correct to congratulate just the parents? I have noticed ... A: It is always a good idea to make a fuss over a new baby to the siblings. After all,they may not ... | |
| gift registry | 1/26/2008 |
| Q: How many stores should a person normally register at. I heard two but I was unsure. is it bad ... A: Gift registries are at complete odds with etiquette. They were created by stores as a way to make ... | |
| surprise party invitations | 1/25/2008 |
| Q: I am planning a surprise birthday party for my fiance. The plan is for everyone to meet at a local ... A: You are hosting the party,your young man is the guest of honor. All expenses would be paid by you. ... | |
| Vacation House | 1/25/2008 |
| Q: A wealthy friend who lives in the UK came into a lot of money and decided to rent a vacation house ... A: You are correct. You cannot and should not pay her back 'in full'. This is her gift to you and let ... | |
| golden anniversary gifts | 1/25/2008 |
| Q: We are planning a 50th anniversary party for my parents.They never had a real wedding or honeymoon ... A: There is never a polite way to ask for gifts. While I understand your desire to give your parents a ... | |
| miscarrage | 1/25/2008 |
| Q: My niece had a miscarrage, is it OK to send a sympathy card, or a plain card and write in it, don't ... A: Please write her a note letting her know how sorry you are that this terrible loss occurred. It's ... | |
| 75th Dinner Birthday Party | 1/24/2008 |
| Q: A church member has asked me to print programs for her mother's 75th birthday party. The family is ... A: You do you have any more information to share with me? This is too incomplete a question for me to ... | |
| Country Club Sponsor | 1/24/2008 |
| Q: A friend of mine wants to have her wedding reception at a local country club. To do this, she has ... A: Please don't get involved in this situation. It will be miserable for you all around. Your friend ... | |
| Brides maids dress | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: Should parents of bride pay for BRIDESMAIDS DRESS. A: Only if they can afford to do so. Not many people can pay for the dresses,so it is sort of ... | |
| 50th Anniversary Dinner (out of town) | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: My husband is planning our 50th Anniversary getaway, that includes dinner planning at an expensive ... A: A host never gives a party that he cannot afford. Your friends should not have to 'pay for the ... | |
| Wedding GIft Giving | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: If I attended the Bridal Shower and gave a gift, is it ok to delay the wedding gift for a few ... A: You never have to give a gift for any occasion. It is not 'required'. I am sure that your friends ... | |
| Proper time to send Fundraiser Invitations | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: How long before a fundraiser should we send the invitations? We are sending Save the Date cards ... A: If you send the cards out too early,you run the risk of people forgetting. Six months out is ... | |
| Funeral | 1/23/2008 |
| Q: My friend's mother-in-law recently passed away and my sister and I (who are friends with her)sent ... A: As politely as you can manage,please smack your sister upside the head and tell her to get over ... | |
| "Black Cocktail Attire" | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: I am attending a casino theme party and the attire is listed as "black cocktail". What exactly does ... A: It's official. The world has gone mad. There seems to be a great need for people to make up these ... | |
| Weddings & receptions | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: I'm getting married in August 2008.. I want to know if it is considered "cheap" to make you own ... A: It is never wrong to stick to a budget you have made or use the materials that would be best for ... | |
| ex-girfriend of husband & card signing | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: I would like your opinion on a touchy situation; every year on my husband's AA anniversary a card is ... A: I think it's great that your husband has found a program that he can stick to and you shouldn't ... | |
| my ex husband father died should i attend the funeral | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: My ExHusband of 10yrs father is passing away. They have given him a week. This is the grandfather of ... A: Can you not call him? You have children together,you must still speak occasionally. Just tell him ... | |
| Birthday invitation - Dutch treat | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: My friend is having a surprise 50th birthday party for her husband next month and would like it to ... A: I'm sorry,but there is no polite way to tell people that they must pay for the privilege of being ... | |
| Gifts from biological mother | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: My husband recently received custody of his 3 children (my stepchildren) from his first marriage, ... A: It wasn't wrong for you to have the children write thank you notes. It was very thoughtful. I do ... | |
| how child address adult | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: We recently moved to a new neighborhood. Two male neighbors have requested that our children call ... A: The children should call the men by their first names. Even though it goes against what you would ... | |
| Thank you notes | 1/22/2008 |
| Q: If the recipient of the gift thanks you at the time you give the gift to them, is a thank you note ... A: You don't say how old your nephew is in your question. If the person (any person) receiving the gift ... | |
| parents gift for second daughter's wedding | 1/21/2008 |
| Q: My daughter is planning to get married this year. She doesn't anything more than a court house ... A: You owe her nothing. She is not entitled to anything more than you wish to give her. End of story. ... | |
| thank you envelope | 1/21/2008 |
| Q: How do you address a thank you envelope for a bridal shower gift from a friend or famliy member? My ... A: If you're writing the thank you note,you get to choose. An honorific is never 'wrong' but as of the ... | |
| Addressing a thank you note to a child | 1/21/2008 |
| Q: Is it still appropriate to address a male child as "Master" (John Smith)? If so, at what age do you ... A: The honorific 'Master' is appropriate to use up until the age of 13. It has fallen out of fashion,at ... | |
| To use or not to use the gravy ladle | 1/19/2008 |
| Q: My question may seem somewhat trivial but it is a real difference of opinion at our family "holiday" ... A: To well, or not to well, that is theWhether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows ... | |
| Graduation Invitations | 1/18/2008 |
| Q: My daughter would like to invite a few of her teachers from grade school,middle school,and high ... A: As the invitations (to teachers) are going to be few in number,please have your daughter write each ... | |
| Sequence or Order of Professional Designations | 1/18/2008 |
| Q: Is there a sequence or order to Professional Designations that a person lists? Is it in the order ... A: Please list them in the order they were earned by you. Makes it simple and logical for the person ... | |
| Christmas thank you cards | 1/18/2008 |
| Q: Is it neccesary to send a Christmas thank you card to friends and family when the Christmas cards ... A: If you did not get the gift in the presence of the giver, please do send them a note. You are ... | |
| Street Meetings | 1/18/2008 |
| Q: What is the proper etiquette on acknowledging a stranger on the street? (ie-saying hello, nodding or ... A: Depends entirely on the size of the city. What will be a friendly gesture in one place will get you ... | |
| not invited to be in cousins wedding | 1/17/2008 |
| Q: My husband is very hurt that he is not invited to be a part of his 1st cousins wedding party, they ... A: We are often hurt and disappointed when other people fail to meet our expectations. Meanwhile,the ... | |
| Drinking off a bottle. | 1/17/2008 |
| Q: Is it good manners to drink off a soda/beer bottle at a dinning table? A: No. It looks horrible and why people do it,I will never know. Unless someone is at the beach or ... | |
| 60% Seating at a Wedding? | 1/17/2008 |
| Q: I am getting married in June 08' and renting a Tent. We will have one main tent and then a side ... A: Perhaps I should have given a straight answer. But,you guessed it,I have never heard of this ... | |
| Thanks you cards at Christmas Time | 1/16/2008 |
| Q: My question is, is it appropriate to send thank you cards to the people who send us Christmas gifts? ... A: I wonder where your neighbor ever got that idea? It is never wrong to send a thank you note for a ... | |
| Engagement Party Gift | 1/16/2008 |
| Q: If you are invited to an engagement party, is a gift expected? This is a first for me. A: You are never required to pay for the privilege of being invited as a guest. This applies to any ... | |
| Evening Wear | 1/16/2008 |
| Q: For a black tie event is it necessary to wear a long evening gown or is social cocktail length ... A: Ah,that's the joy of being a woman. We can get away with either and not apologize for it. Yes,a ... | |
| Tipping/Dinner Parties | 1/16/2008 |
| Q: Gamble, I am going to host a dinner party at a restaurant to celebrate my birthday. I was wondering ... A: Pre-paying for the valet parking is an excellent idea. Very thoughtful of you. Most restaurants ... | |
| Whistling inside the house | 1/16/2008 |
| Q: Is it improper to whistle inside the house and what is the reasoning for it? A: If it is your house,you are free to whistle in it. The 'rules' came about because most whistling is ... | |
| Travel Expenses for family guests | 1/16/2008 |
| Q: My sister moved to Florida ten years ago. She has four daughters. I and my family live in ... A: The only person responsible for a guest's hotel bill is the guest. If the financial burden is too ... | |
| Mom's retirement party | 1/15/2008 |
| Q: My mother is retiring from a long successful career in publishing. My stepfather and I felt we ... A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for any reason. I think that celebrating your Mom's career ... | |
| question on etiquette | 1/15/2008 |
| Q: my question is My daughter just got engaged I am planning on making a surprise engagement party the ... A: No,there is no polite way to ask for gifts on an invitation,I'm sorry. People never should be made ... | |
| hostess gifts | 1/13/2008 |
| Q: Is it better to open a bottle of wine that you receive as a gift from a friend who you have invited ... A: As the hostess,the choice is yours. Most people do not open the wine that is brought simply because ... | |
| Funeral etiquite | 1/13/2008 |
| Q: One of my best friends just lost her uncle that she hasn't seen in years due to his incarceration. ... A: By saying "This is obviously a deeply distressing event for everyone. I think it would be best if I ... | |
| driving from events | 1/13/2008 |
| Q: When departing a dance or social event, is a man obligated to wait for a woman in another car to ... A: No. Once you have seen the woman to her car,your obligation has ended. It is up to the woman to ... | |
| No Gift Southern custom? | 1/13/2008 |
| Q: My daughter was married in the church she has attended since birth. Many of our guests did not give ... A: A wedding is a sacrament. A solemn religious service that is one of the most important in our lives. ... | |
| Thank yous | 1/13/2008 |
| Q: How should I properly thank someone who has given money for a Catholic Mass? A: Write a simple note of thanks. "Dear Mrs Simpson, Your kind donation for the Mass in ... | |
| shower invitations | 1/12/2008 |
| Q: Is is proper to invite a relatively "new" girl friend of the groom's dad to a shower when their ... A: WOW. Yes,it will make for an uncomfortable situation, but if the bride wants this woman at the ... | |
| tombstone | 1/11/2008 |
| Q: my mom recently passed away. she was married 4 times we are not sure what to write on the ... A: This is entirely up to you to decide. Grave markers may contain as much or as little information as ... | |
| child birthday party invite etiquette | 1/11/2008 |
| Q: I have a 5 year old daughter, and a girl in her class is having a birthday party but has only ... A: Ouch. Inviting everyone in the class is the best policy. No,there is nothing to be gained by ... | |
| High School Graduation Gift | 1/10/2008 |
| Q: I received a high school graduation announcement from my friend's daughter whom I have never met. ... A: An announcement is merely information. It is send to those people who might be interested in ... | |
| Grieving ex-boyfriend | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: My present girlfriend's ex-boyfriend of more than a year ago recently died. Prior to his death she ... A: Let's just start out by saying this,you are always allowed to feel exactly as you do. It is how we ... | |
| Special Diets and Dinner Parties | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I both have medically necessary special diets, each of us having a different disease ... A: Decline all invitations to meals and stick to social outings that avoid all food issues. Art ... | |
| birthday party etiquette | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: I have always believed that if a child is invited ot a birthday party and is unable to attend that ... A: No one is ever required to give a gift for any occasion. If they attend,if they don't...they never ... | |
| manners | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: Is it rude to come over to someone's house and talk about any new item they have purchased? Any ... A: Most of us enjoy it when someone admires a new lamp or vase in our home. The comment should be ... | |
| 1st communion | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: We are in the process of planning our sons 1st communion, and we do not know what to do in regards ... A: Sorry,son's life,I meant to say... Dear Carmen, This is a very serious and important day in your ... | |
| timing of wedding gift | 1/9/2008 |
| Q: My family is all gathering this weekend for a small wedding for my brother (36)down on the beach in ... A: The bride and groom do not want to have to ship or haul presents back home. Please listen to the ... | |
| Cat sitting for in-laws | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: My question is about my in-laws cat. They are on vacation in Florida and my husband and I are ... A: Would you really do that to your in-laws? Make them come home from a vacation to care for a cat? ... | |
| picking up the meal check | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: We will be visiting several cities out of state and meeting friends for a meal. Are the visitors or ... A: The visitors and the natives are supposed to fight over who gets to pick up the check. As in ... | |
| Birthday party at restaurant | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: My father is going to host a surprise 70th birthday party for my mother at her favorite restaurant ... A: No,you aren't wrong here. Your sister is the one who needs to step back and see the big picture. ... | |
| retirement party | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: people at work are hosting a retirement party for our secretary. She lives with spouse and 1 child ... A: You don't say what kind of party this is,but I am going to guess that it is not an open house or ... | |
| blowing your nose | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: Is it bad manners to blow your nose at the table, while others are eating? A: Yes. Some people wouldn't mind,but most people find it disgusting. Anyone who needs to blow their ... | |
| relationship - man and woman differences in money spending | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: I have a new relationship, we are both professional middle aged people, he is richer than me. Is ... A: I think it is up to each couple to decide for themselves what the terms of the relationship are. I ... | |
| chipping in for flowers for a funeral | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: am organizing a group of people to chip in for flowers for a funeral. Most of us are single. ... A: BEVERLY YOU DIDN'T SCROLL DOWN FAR ENOUGH. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! BEST ... | |
| Debutante Gifts | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: My daughter was recently in two debutante balls. She received gifts from fellow debutantes, for ... A: It is not traditional for the debutantes to exchange gifts,but there is no harm in it. These ... | |
| Adult Birthday Party Favors | 1/8/2008 |
| Q: I am planning a 60th birthday party for my husband and specifically requested no gifts please. Am I ... A: Only give party favors if you wish to do so. You may also decide for yourself what to give and if ... | |
| Party arrival eitiquette | 1/7/2008 |
| Q: Wondering if you think it's OK to tell a host you will be at a kid's birthday party, but plan to ... A: Parents of toddlers (and their friends) should be tolerant of the situation they find themselves ... | |
| invitations | 1/7/2008 |
| Q: Sending invitations toa formal party. When should invitations be sent..two weeks ahead or more? A: If it is very formal (as well as important to you) please consider giving your guests a month's ... | |
| Bar Mitzvah Invites | 1/7/2008 |
| Q: We just found out that a girl from my son's class whom we invited to his Bar Mitzvah is making her ... A: While I certainly understand and applaud your desire to protect your son from any social hurt he may ... | |
| Etiquette | 1/7/2008 |
| Q: It is very kind of you to give free advice about social etiquette and I do need your advice. ... A: You do not say what church the bishop belongs to,but I will guess Catholic. I will add some others ... | |
| dress material --appropriate for wedding in FEbuary, March or april | 1/7/2008 |
| Q: I have a cream colored dress I would like to consider for my second marriage. I am 68 yrs. old. The ... A: Well,it depends on the ruffles,doesn't it? I mean,we have all seen women past the age of 30 or so ... | |
| being a guest in a home | 1/6/2008 |
| Q: I was recently hosting a new friend in my home. I asked them to attend my church service wit on ... A: Religion and religious views are deeply private and entirely personal. Anyone may invite others to ... | |
| funeral thank you | 1/6/2008 |
| Q: Amanda, I have been asked to send out the thank you notes for my mother-in-laws funeral. What do I ... A: Dear Mark and Karen, Ethel has asked me to pass along her sincerest thanks for the ... | |
| Birthday Party with Kosher Guests | 1/6/2008 |
| Q: My husband and I are hosting a birthday party for our two year old son. Two of the families ... A: Burying the family silver in the garden and Kashering the kitchen would be a bit much for a two ... | |
| personalized baby gift for shower | 1/6/2008 |
| Q: I am going to a baby shower and the mother to be knows and shares that her baby will be a girl and ... A: In some cultures a personalized baby gift is an omen of misfortune to come for the child. This is ... | |
| gift for nephew graduation with no relationship | 1/6/2008 |
| Q: After 20 years of sending a Christmas and birthday gift to my nephew, I decided this year not to ... A: I had some sympathy for the kid until "he blocked me on Facebook". That is a pretty overtly ... | |
| baby's 1st birthday | 1/5/2008 |
| Q: This is my baby's 1st birthday. She has alot of toys already, so I'm wondering if it's okay to put ... A: I am so sorry,but there is never a proper way to ask for gifts on an invitation. You may never ... | |
| wedding shower gifts | 1/5/2008 |
| Q: My spouse and I are among 18 couples hosting a couples wedding shower. The cost will be about $300. ... A: This is an easy one,and it applies to any party,event or celebration: You are never required to give ... | |
| gifting etiquette | 1/5/2008 |
| Q: I received Christmas cookies on a pretty holiday plate from my neighbors. Am I supposed to return ... A: Err on the side of caution by returning her plate. If she meant that to be part of the gift,she will ... | |
| becoming a debutante | 1/4/2008 |
| Q: How does someone go about becoming a deb? The lines aren't clear. I know that my city has one every ... A: Jackie Kennedy did it by putting on a $60.00 dress and appearing at a tea party her mother gave in ... | |
| etiquette on entertaining and being sick w/flu | 1/4/2008 |
| Q: On Christmas Eve my family went over to my sister-in-laws to celebrate. When we arrived my ... A: While I certainly understand your revulsion at having to spend time with someone who was ... | |
| addressing physician | 1/4/2008 |
| Q: we are throwing my sister-in-law a surprise party and want to inviter her boss who is a physician ... A: The honorific Dr. replaces Mr/Mrs/Ms. So the envelope would read: Dr. John T Frederick ... | |
| Home school Graduation announcement | 1/4/2008 |
| Q: I will soon be graduating from an online homeschool program and receiving something similar to a ... A: I am happy to announce my Graduation from the * Online Homeschool Program ... | |
| Bride-to-be gift request | 1/4/2008 |
| Q: My cousin is to be married this upcoming summer (2008), she and her fiance have lived together ... A: It is not the job of a parent to hold back when they see that their child (even as an adult) is ... | |
| Table Manners | 1/3/2008 |
| Q: My friend invited me over to just sit and chat.While I was over he prepared some chili.He then ... A: You did exactly the right thing by refusing to eat that which you did not want. You don't need to ... | |
| wedding party gathering | 1/3/2008 |
| Q: My fiancee and I would like to have our wedding party meet each other prior to the wedding. We have ... A: Sounds like fun. The key here is to treat it as you would any potential group gathering. It isn't ... | |
| 40th birthday | 1/3/2008 |
| Q: We are invited to a 40th birthday party for my cousin's husband. Do we bring a gift and what is an ... A: You are never required to take a gift,but you certainly may if you feel like doing so. As for what ... | |
| address label | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: In my upcoming wedding, I am not sure how to properly address things where a husband a wife are both ... A: Please use two lines on the envelope: Dr. Jeffery Wagner ... | |
| bridesmaid refusal? | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: I was asked to be a bridesmaid in an upcoming summer wedding. I have only known the bride for a ... A: Kappos, Certainly! Tell her how honored you were that she thinks well enough of you to ask you to ... | |
| thank you notes | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: I mailed out thank you notes for Christmas gifts I received. One of my co-workers said I shouldn't ... A: When is it ever wrong to say thank you? Yes,it is generally accepted that if you thank someone in ... | |
| Repeat Marriages | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: I have a close friend that will be getting married for a third time, it is his first. She wants the ... A: The best course of action is to keep your thoughts to yourself. Yes,it is sort of ridiculous for a ... | |
| Etiquette on how to answer personal questions | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: I was wondering the best way to answer questions that seem too personal or nobody else's business, ... A: You never have to answer any question that you consider too invasive. As to the rent question,you ... | |
| Failed Adoption Gift Etiquette | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: My girlfriend recently experienced a failed adoption. She had a few baby showers hosted by family, ... A: Whatever she wants to do is the right thing. Anyone who has suffered such heartbreak is not expected ... | |
| Dinner Party Etiquette: Taking Leftovers Home | 1/2/2008 |
| Q: I have a curiosity question. I was recently at a dinner party in which I was asked to bring the ... A: Leaving it behind would be the polite thing to do as the guest. You brought it for their dinner ... | |
| Appropriateness of Gift | 12/31/2007 |
| Q: I am hoping that you might be able to help me with a Green Gift that was received. As the mom, I am ... A: Bettor, No,that was a very strange gift. Far too personal and far too public. You were not wrong ... | |
| Sending Late Condolence gift | 12/31/2007 |
| Q: I just found out a friend, for whom I have not seen in 4 months, lost her father about 3 months ago. ... A: Your friend is no where near finished mourning the loss of her dear father. Please,go ahead and do ... | |
| Gift Giving etiquette | 12/31/2007 |
| Q: Is it appropriate to give an eleven year old child a gift set that includes deodorant? A: Some children mature faster than others. There are eleven year olds who need to use that particular ... | |
| Addressing a Married Friend | 12/31/2007 |
| Q: My friend got married a few year back and is having a child. How should I address him in ... A: If you are writing a private letter to your friend, feel free to address it to him alone. If it is a ... | |
| Dinner party at a restaurant | 12/31/2007 |
| Q: I want to have a surprise 30th birthday party for my husband but unfortunately, my house is too ... A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford. No one should ever have to 'pay for the ... | |
| Friends in common | 12/31/2007 |
| Q: When a friend introduces two mutual friends, the two mutual friends really hit it off, having even ... A: Technically,once you have been introduced to someone, you are free to pursue a friendship with them ... | |
| birthday party invitation | 12/30/2007 |
| Q: Hey, I want to have a dinner birthday party for my Mother's 75th birthday at a local restaurant but ... A: I'm sorry,but there is never a polite way to ask anyone to pay for the privilege of being a guest. A ... | |
| official domestic partner aniversary date | 12/30/2007 |
| Q: when would are anniversary date be? the day he said yes, or the date on are domestic partner papers. ... A: Whenever the couple decides that the anniversary should be. Some couples celebrate the day they ... | |
| my daughters birthday | 12/29/2007 |
| Q: My daughters birthday is right after Christmas. She is having a big party with 25 friends, I've even ... A: It is never right to mention gifts on an invitation. Guests shouldn't be asked to pay for the ... | |
| Etiquette regarding donations | 12/29/2007 |
| Q: What is the proper method of notifying an individual of a donation? If someone asks for donations ... A: The organization in question will generally send a note to the person (or family) letting the | |