| Subject | Date Asked |
|
| Seeing my Father for first time in 27 years | 11/19/2009 |
Q: I am seeing my Father for the first time in 27 years. We will be meeting face to face in a ...
A: Why do you need for your father to know this information? Is it a control issue? This is a ...
|
| overnight guest | 11/19/2009 |
Q: Having to fly quite some distance at quite an expense to attend my neices wedding, my sister offered ...
A: You already know the answer. You did nothing wrong. This man is an abusive ass. I can't imagine how ...
|
| jewish gay wedding | 11/19/2009 |
Q: My brother is finally getting married (58 yrs old- a dynamic intellectual and awesome guy). They are ...
A: That sounds like it is going to be a great party. My only advice is to have fun. If you have gay ...
|
| Christmas Party | 11/17/2009 |
Q: I am hosting a Christmas party at my home with family and close friends. In addition, some of my ...
A: I understand your anxiety,our professional lives and our work lives can't help but to become ...
|
| Wedding Gift for Hairdresser | 11/16/2009 |
Q: My hairdresser is getting married around Christmas. I always give her a generous Christmas gift. ...
A: Whatever you want to give her and can afford is what is appropriate. I cannot give you a dollar ...
|
| Engagement/Wedding Invitations | 11/15/2009 |
Q: My son and his finance announced their engagement 3 weeks ago. Now they are planning on sending out ...
A: An announcement is merely information. You send them to people who might be interested in learning ...
|
| Dinning out with a group | 11/15/2009 |
Q: One evening I (age 19) happened to be out with my boyfriend (age 18) when my mother called to invite ...
A: You did exactly the right thing in thanking the woman who actually paid the bill. If your Mom had ...
|
| suspenders and belts | 11/9/2009 |
Q: I am not overweight and do not need this to hold up my pants, but I like the look of wearing a belt ...
A: I am sorry that I didn't address the question head on for you. I will do so now. This is not an ...
|
| Informal Family Gathering | 11/9/2009 |
Q: A relative and myself were discussing about getting our family together at our cousins restaurant. ...
A: Don't be hard on yourself,this is much different than sending out engraved invitations and then ...
|
| Thanksgiving invites | 11/8/2009 |
Q: My brother was recently married and now his wife's family is a part of ours. For Thanksgiving I ...
A: Your new sister-in-law should not have simply invited someone else to your Thanksgiving dinner. It ...
|
| my family & their relationship with my ex | 11/3/2009 |
Q: I had been married for 18 years with 3 kids. I have a large family and some of them are staying in ...
A: While I can appreciate not wanting to go into detail with your family on the exact causes of the ...
|
| Christmas Card/Recent Death | 11/2/2009 |
Q: In January of this year a good friend from high school passed away unexpectadly. We lived in ...
A: Please do send the cards. It will most certainly be a difficult time for the whole family, but it ...
|
| restaurant etiquette | 11/2/2009 |
Q: I was out to dinner with my husband at a fine restaurant. During the course of our meal, a couple ...
A: Berger, You did the correct thing. The man just said hello spontaneously because you caught each ...
|
| questions | 11/1/2009 |
Q: How do I address my wedding invitation to my godfathers widow? Is it also proper to send her a ...
A: She is Mrs Milford F Renquist until the days she dies or until she remarries. It is not ...
|
| First Date - Is Housewaming Gift Appropriate (just moved into new home) | 10/30/2009 |
Q: I will be going on a first date with a guy that I know through friends. He will be moving into his ...
A: Err on the side of caution and pass for now. The home will still be new for several more months yet ...
|
| Invitation not wanted | 10/29/2009 |
Q: A female co-worker is getting married within the year and she plans on inviting everybody in the ...
A: Simply wait for the invitation to arrive and then decline it politely. Sending your regrets closes ...
|
| surprise birthday party | 10/28/2009 |
Q: my mom is giving my dad a 60th surprise birthday party and was wonder was it ok to register for ...
A: Jenkins, No,it is not appropriate to register for gifts for a birthday. People are to be ...
|
| Sending Invite to Someone Who Had Death in Family | 10/27/2009 |
Q: We are christening our daughter and would like to invite a close family whose daughter sadly passed ...
A: Life goes on and inviting this family to the Christening is appropriate. Do include a note ...
|
| signing cards | 10/26/2009 |
Q: I live with my boyfriend but generally I sign birthday cards to my family etc with just my name. Is ...
A: Clearly your family members know that the two of you live together,so if you want to sign both ...
|
| How to educate relatives about etiquette rules when they visit me | 10/26/2009 |
Q: My husband's nephews and nieces visit us almost every weekend as they live in the same town. They do ...
A: You do not say how old these nephews and nieces are,but it doesn't matter really. This is your house ...
|
| How to Deal with my Brother-in-Law's Wife | 10/22/2009 |
Q: My MIL has a favorite child who is now married. Because of his status in her eyes, she desperately ...
A: There is not much that you may do without causing a great deal of trouble. Your Mother in Law is not ...
|
| Wedding Invitation | 10/22/2009 |
Q: Recently we sold our house. Our realtor mentioned that the buyers were a nice young couple about to ...
A: What a thoughtful gesture you made towards this couple. As you cannot attend the wedding, please ...
|
| Obituary Question | 10/20/2009 |
Q: My father in law passed away a few weeks ago and my sister in law and I were both very hurt when the ...
A: You most certainly are family. You were the daughters in law of the man who died. It counts as does ...
|
| first birthday party | 10/18/2009 |
Q: My parents are divorced and so are my husbands. My daughter is turning one in November and I am ...
A: The time to put your foot down is now. If you give into these demands and have three birthday ...
|
| My sister in law | 10/17/2009 |
Q: my question is about my sister in law. Long story short my husband died in a car accident last year ...
A: Thompson, Please know how very sorry I am that you find yourself in this situation. You are not ...
|
| daughter in law | 10/16/2009 |
Q: When my daughter in law speaks of me to my son or daughter she refers to me as "Mary" instead of ...
A: She calls you Mary? How odd. Does she give any reason for calling you by a completely different ...
|
| Boyfriend's grandfather's birthday present? | 10/14/2009 |
Q: My boyfriend's grandfather's birthday is coming up and his mum suggested to my boyfriend to bring me ...
A: Yes,chocolates are the perfect choice for this Grandfather. Any luxury item that is consumed is a ...
|
| grandson nickname | 10/12/2009 |
Q: My son and his wife nicknamed our grandson,their son, Tre. He is a Steven the third. We don't care ...
A: How can calling a child by it's given name be disrespectful? It's on the birth certificate. Just ...
|
| Conversations in party atmosphere | 10/12/2009 |
Q: I like to entertain and have most relative get-togethers at my home for multiple generations. ...
A: When your guests are not strangers to each other,but members of the same family,the hostess does ...
|
| Extended family - gift giving | 10/9/2009 |
Q: What is the appropriate way to handle gift giving to extended family members? Our daughter is ...
A: Your brother is free to do as he wishes. Your idea of having him send a general card and let his ...
|
| Wedding etiquette | 10/8/2009 |
Q: My wife's cousin was in a very serious car accident yesterday. It is very questionable at this time ...
A: The groom and his family might not be in the mood for much gaiety,let them lead the way and set the ...
|
| Signing cards | 10/7/2009 |
Q: Our son has just recently moved out to begin his first job in Minnesota. Normally, I sign cards ...
A: When the child moves out,it's time to stop signing his or her name. However,you may write "I'm sure ...
|
| Wedding Ring Etiquette | 10/6/2009 |
Q: When my father passed away roughly a month before his wedding date two years ago, his fiancee picked ...
A: It would have been entirely correct and appropriate for her to have returned the rings as part of ...
|
| Appropriate protocol for fundraising members | 10/5/2009 |
Q: I work on a series of committee's at my daughter's private, non-profit, all girls school. Being ...
A: Outrageous. If you are working an event that you helped organize,you do not pay for tickets. Nor ...
|
| sharing a tip | 10/5/2009 |
Q: My guestion is, I am a bartender and the other night we had a 50th anniversary party for 35 people ...
A: To whom was the extra hundred dollars given? If it was to you and you wish to split it, then please ...
|
| Comments on House Size | 10/4/2009 |
Q: I own a home that is much larger than most of my friends. Occasionally when we have people over ...
A: If you don't wish to respond,you don't have to. Simply letting the comment and the moment pass is ...
|
| proper form of address | 10/3/2009 |
Q: How does one properly address a female Methodist bishop? Thank you, MM
A: Bishop Winsby in conversation and The Reverend Ellen Winsby of (Methodist area designation) for an ...
|
| Get well card after death | 10/3/2009 |
Q: I learned of someone's illness and later decided to send a get well card. However the very day that ...
A: No,do not apologize for the get well card. They understand that it was an issue of poor timing ...
|
| New Roommate | 10/2/2009 |
Q: A friend of ours (mine & my fiance's) is in a tough spot right now and needs a new place to move ...
A: Laundromats probably do not let the water temperatures get truly hot. Maybe it's to save on the gas ...
|
| Extremely Difficult Social Question | 10/1/2009 |
Q: how are you? I have a difficult question on how to deal with a social situation. Here's the ...
A: When I saw the line "... I was recently toying with sending her another email.." I gasped and said ...
|
| 5th Anniversary Party | 9/30/2009 |
Q: Next year my husband and I will be celebrating our 5th anniversary. My question is: Is it okay to ...
A: By all means have a Do Over! Let it be known that while the first wedding was nice,the day went by ...
|
| No more Christmas presents | 9/28/2009 |
Q: Each year my brothers and sisters send Christmas presents to me and my family. Two years ago, I ...
A: You have done exactly the right thing. You let it be known that you wished to stop exchanging gifts ...
|
| shoes in the house | 9/25/2009 |
Q: I try very hard to keep my house clean. It is very important for me to take care of the things I ...
A: Please just ask them when they come in or better,before they come over if possible. This isn't just ...
|
| Name on the head stone | 9/24/2009 |
Q: Can a last name be added after the biological fathers last name? She was never adopted by the last ...
A: Whomever purchased the plot and the stone gets to make the decisions as to what name is put on it. ...
|
| Inviting people to party | 9/24/2009 |
Q: I am inviting some friends out for drinks for my birthday. At first it was going to be a few people ...
A: This should work itself out without too much stress or drama. It would have been a good idea to have ...
|
| How to sign Christmas Cards | 9/23/2009 |
Q: My 4 yr. old just recently died and I know our lives are changing. Silly question, when it comes to ...
A: Please know how very sorry I am for you loss. You do not have to send cards if it is too painful or ...
|
| Baby shower invites | 9/22/2009 |
Q: My daughter is pregnant with twins.. She made out her list of people to invite and her ...
A: Who is the hostess of this shower? The mother to be is asked to provide a list of people that she ...
|
| uninvited visitors | 9/22/2009 |
Q: My husband and I are expecting our first child in November. When we bring the baby home, we would ...
A: When you and your husband married,you each left your families to form a new one. This new family,be ...
|
| profanity | 9/22/2009 |
Q: Is it permisable in todays society to offer a seminar on communication and present a film with a lot ...
A: It depends entirely upon the audience and the forum. It would be outrageous to show such a film to ...
|
| godparent etiquette | 9/18/2009 |
Q: Beside religious values and gifts as they grow, are there any special things Godparents buy or do ...
A: Their primary role is as spiritual advisers for the child. It is entirely up to the Godprents how ...
|
| correcting someone | 9/16/2009 |
Q: Ms. Gamble: I am writing to get your opinion about when it is appropriate to breach etiquette. In ...
A: It made me laugh as I am not known to be 'politically correct'. When I wrote the response,I was ...
|
| Monetary Bereavement Gift | 9/16/2009 |
Q: My daughter and son-in-law just lost a full-term baby boy. They have received numerous personal ...
A: What a terrible time for you and your family. I am so sorry. You may use the money in any way that ...
|
| Thank-you | 9/14/2009 |
Q: My husband's employer is generously sending us on a vacation in appreciation for all his hard work. ...
A: Please do write the thank you note and get a gift as well. It's hard to make suggestions for someone ...
|
| Daughter's ordination ceremony | 8/25/2009 |
Q: My daughter is going to be ordained as a Lutheran Minister. Her Grandmother, ( as well as me) are ...
A: As she is your daughter is absolutely appropriate for you or her Grandmother to give her any gift ...
|
| Invitation etiquette | 8/25/2009 |
Q: Is it proper etiquette to post "no gifts please" on a birthday invitation
A: Technically,no. A host/hostess never mentions gifts on an invitation. S/he is supposed to be so ...
|
| Bedroom barger | 8/23/2009 |
Q: My question is this... My Husband and I stayed with close friends at their home in Florida for a ...
A: If she is a friend of such long standing this surely is not the first time that you have had to have ...
|
| guest invitation | 8/21/2009 |
Q: I am hosting my birthday party and I would like to invite someone who I have been friends with for ...
A: Have a talk with your friend. Try not to criticize "the friend" too much,avoid it all together if ...
|
| party invite | 8/21/2009 |
Q: I am hosting my own birthday party at a small cafe with an evening of dinner and dancing. However ...
A: Simply invite the people that you wish to have come at the later time with invitations to do so. ...
|
| College Graduation party | 8/21/2009 |
Q: My son is graduating from college in December. He is the first in both my family and my husband's ...
A: Anyone can give party at any time and for nearly any reason. Your son has (or will) mark an ...
|
| baby shower invite | 8/20/2009 |
Q: My sister-in-law (wife of husband's brother) is having a baby shower, hosted by her family. I did ...
A: Was the note specifically about the shower and did the greeting contain specific names? Or was it ...
|
| How to leave a dinner or party | 8/20/2009 |
Q: When you are attending a dinner or party at a friend's home and you are ready to leave what is the ...
A: When the guests start offering excuses say exactly what you wrote in my question. "The reasons don't ...
|
| include mom? | 8/20/2009 |
Q: My parents are divorced but I spend equal time with both my mom and my dad and long-time stepmom. ...
A: Good news. As the guest of honor and not the host/ess of this party,the list of who does or does not ...
|
| widow manners | 8/19/2009 |
Q: should a widow of 6 years still wear her wedding & engagement rings if she is in a new relationship?
A: If the woman is seeing someone seriously,she should remove the rings or move them to her right hand. ...
|
| Birthday Favors - Are they really expected? | 8/19/2009 |
Q: Is it REALLY expected that I give the children that attend my son's birthday party a bag of candy, ...
A: You certainly do not have to give the party guests anything in the way of gift bags or party favors ...
|
| sympathy | 8/19/2009 |
Q: In the death of a girlfriend's mother, should the sympathy card go only to the girlfriend, or ...
A: As the whole family is affected by this loss,please include them all. The degree of grief felt may ...
|
| Birthday happy hour | 8/18/2009 |
Q: I have 6 girlfriends who I have been going out with every Wednesday for a drink, a movie or some ...
A: As you were the first to have a birthday with the 'new tradition' perhaps everyone was a little ...
|
| 50th Birthday reception | 8/17/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate for my husbands exwife to take a piece of fruit from his dessert plate? This ...
A: Sharing food from a plate is an intimate gesture,even if it isn't romantic. (Friends,parent and ...
|
| Visiting Relatives | 8/16/2009 |
Q: A few weeks ago, I received a call from my relatives, that I have not seen in a while, and they told ...
A: As it sounds like a big crowd,you may ask for separate checks at the beginning of the meal. If Uncle ...
|
| birthday party etiquette | 8/15/2009 |
Q: My teenager was invited to a surprise birthday party for a friend at the park. The party was planned ...
A: While the standard rule is that no host/ess gives a party that s/he cannot afford,this is a special ...
|
| baby shower gifts after stillbirth | 8/15/2009 |
Q: a dear cousin recently had a stillbirth at 8 months gestation. Does she need to return the baby ...
A: The correct thing to do and I mean this sincerely,is whatever your cousin feels like doing. She is ...
|
| christmas cards after death | 8/15/2009 |
Q: my mom die July the 2009 is it ok to send Christmas cards this year or is that wrong.
A: If you feel up to sending out holiday greetings,you certainly may. If,when the time comes you find ...
|
| Quinceanera | 8/14/2009 |
Q: My friend who is turning 15 in October has asked me to be a part of her Quinceanera. I am a white, ...
A: As you have never been to a Quinceanera before,let me tell you a little about it and what to expect. ...
|
| 50th wedding anniversary | 8/12/2009 |
Q: My parent's 50th wedding anniversary is approaching. My Father passed away 5 years ago and I am ...
A: "In loving memory of Bill Jones" if you wish to be private about it and not draw attention to the ...
|
| Hosting an In-Home Sales Party | 8/11/2009 |
Q: Amanda, I am being pressured by my sister-in-law who sells Tupperware to host a Tupperware Party in ...
A: If you weaken and host even ONE of these parties,it will never ever end. You must nip this nonsense ...
|
| Birthday celebration with husband ! | 8/9/2009 |
Q: My husband and me have regularly different views about birthdays. We spend birthdays together. I see ...
A: When it comes to birthdays,there is no "right way" to celebrate. Never mind the cultural ...
|
| Hello | 8/9/2009 |
Q: I'm having my 13th birthday soon and I want to invite my friends in MY AGE GROUP. BUT,my parents ...
A: I am very sorry for the tardy reply. Please explain your point of view to your Mother as calmly and ...
|
| 7 year old B-day Party | 8/7/2009 |
Q: My son is divorced and shares custody with his ex-wife. He started dating a lady approximately one ...
A: As no seven year old is immune from the charm of opening an actual present,I am glad that you ...
|
| IT'S MY DAY OFF AND ASKED TO WORK | 8/7/2009 |
Q: My superintendent asked me to work for a weekend (my day-off) and told her she can have that day off ...
A: Yes,it is fine to tell your superior that you need notice well in advance if she needs to change the ...
|
| SHOULD I PAY THE BILL | 8/7/2009 |
Q: In a bar mostly I hang out with my friends, I don't drink and when I eat I limit myself with a ...
A: Ask for a separate check. With computerized ordering and billing (which the restaurant business ...
|
| open house/graduation party | 8/1/2009 |
Q: Is it bad etiquette to have a open house for your high school senior if they are Not going away for ...
A: Well,whomever it was that told you that was quite wrong. You are celebrating the graduation from ...
|
| proper English | 7/30/2009 |
Q: I am about to get married, and I was creating return address labels for us and I ran into a ...
A: You may either have the labels read "Mrs & Mrs John Smith,Jr" or Nancy & John Smith,Jr. ...
|
| how to deal with lack of guest room/ bathroom at parents home | 7/29/2009 |
Q: I am married and have 2 toddlers. We live in a different city than my parents do. I have a great ...
A: If the visits are so contentious that you are fighting with your parents,please do stay in a hotel. ...
|
| Baby Shower | 7/27/2009 |
Q: My son and his ex-girlfriend are having a baby. We found out about the baby 3 months after they ...
A: Technically,you are not the one who should give the baby shower. It should be the expectant mother's ...
|
| Correspondence Cards | 7/25/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate to send a happy birthday note on a correspondence card instead of a birthday card?
A: Absolutely! A personal note conveying your best wishes for someone's health and happiness in the ...
|
| Opionianted | 7/24/2009 |
Q: A 50's something friend (with a large extended family) never tires of presenting her ...
A: If this friend is important to you and you do wish to maintain the relationship,by all means speak ...
|
| How do I cancel an adult bday party after invitations have been sent? | 7/20/2009 |
Q: I'm really not sure how to proceed. My family has been planning a (unwanted) small party for our ...
A: "Due to unforeseen circumstances,we regretfully recall the invitations issued for September ...
|
| How to politely tell someone they weren't invited | 7/18/2009 |
Q: How do you politely tell someone that thay weren't invited on a trip? A friend & I are taking our ...
A: This is tricky and likely her feelings will be hurt since you said nothing at the time. But try ...
|
| Stagette Party | 7/16/2009 |
Q: I'm hoping you have some advice you can share about my situation. You sound like a kind person and ...
A: While you certainly are well within the bounds of propriety to politely decline any invitation that ...
|
| etiquette article | 7/16/2009 |
Q: I'm sane`, I'm a journalist for Weigh-Less magazine in South Africa. I'm writing an article about ...
A: I will be happy to help. Let me know when your deadline is. I have quite a few things going on right ...
|
| Thank Yous | 7/15/2009 |
Q: How do I write a Thank You for money in the time of bereavement..I don't want to say thanks for the ...
A: You may thank them for their thoughtfulness or their 'kind gesture'. Tell them that it is support ...
|
| Addressing a Mr. & Dr. | 7/14/2009 |
Q: What is the proper way to to address correspondence to a married couple who share the same last name ...
A: Please use two lines: Dr. Elizabeth Banks Mr. Jefferson Banks ...
|
| RSVP | 7/14/2009 |
Q: I have yet to receive any RSVP's for my son's birthday party and I need to know how many people are ...
A: No,this is a time sensitive issue,so go ahead and call. Try not to make them feel guilty about it ...
|
| Wedding Invitation Wording | 7/12/2009 |
Q: My brother is getting married in August. I just received the invitation yesterday. To my dismay, I ...
A: Either form is correct. The first,where the bride's parents are the only ones who are named,are a ...
|
| Daytime Wedding/Evening Reception Attire | 7/12/2009 |
Q: We have just received an invitation to a family member's wedding. The wedding is scheduled for 2:30 ...
A: As the dress is a dark color and a length that can work for both times of day,go ahead and wear it. ...
|
| one month anniversary party etiquette | 7/12/2009 |
Q: I have a work colleague who invited me to her "one month wedding anniversary party," and, since I ...
A: No,no gift is required. No one ever has to pay for the privilege of being invited as a guest. If you ...
|
| cruise wear etiquette | 7/10/2009 |
Q: I am cruising on The Queen Mary 2 and the formal dress code is for Black & White, does this require ...
A: The definition of Black/White Tie is much more flexible for women than it is for men. You may wear ...
|
| Dr and Mrs. question - follow up | 7/9/2009 |
Q: I have scanned previous questions and answers regarding proper addressing etiquette for couples in ...
A: She is properly known as "Mrs. David Bearden" in that case. The easiest way to remember is as if you ...
|
| Birthday cards | 7/9/2009 |
Q: A few days ago an envelope arrived addressed to both my wife and my eldest son. Their birthdays are ...
A: Instead of condemning your mother,applaud her! Most cards and letters do not come close to exceeding ...
|
| Dr and Mrs. question | 7/8/2009 |
Q: I have scanned previous questions and answers regarding proper addressing etiquette for couples in ...
A: No,in the case of the woman being a doctor,a military officer,a judge,office holder,etc. you simply ...
|
| Funeral Ettiquette | 7/8/2009 |
Q: My husband recently passed away. My husband's brother and his family were there. My niece took it ...
A: Dozier, If you can possibly stand to,please let this all pass. To engage this woman in an ...
|
| Etiquette of goods distribution before/after death | 7/8/2009 |
Q: What are the positives of earmarking or giving your goods away before you do? What would be the ...
A: This really isn't an etiquette question but I will see what I can do. The upside to gifting things ...
|
| Dance School Prize Giving | 7/8/2009 |
Q: I founded and ran a very large dance school for 25 years and sold it to 2 of my students. I was ...
A: Your role was,correctly,whatever the school's owners wished it to be. If you were asked to be a ...
|
| going away party | 7/4/2009 |
Q: I have a good friend that is leaving the state. He has been a big part of our community and very ...
A: While it is a wonderful idea to show this man and his family how much they will be missed,please ...
|
| Graduation card w/money for daughter's boyfriend | 7/3/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate for my husband and I to give our daughter's boyfriend more than a card for high ...
A: If you and your husband wish to give him a gift (in any form) as a token of your esteem for ...
|
| 1st Birthday Gift question | 7/3/2009 |
Q: Is there any polite way to ask for a contribution to FLORIDA PREPAID COLLEGE FUND in lue of toys and ...
A: Gifts of any kind should never be mentioned in an invitation. No one should be made to feel as if ...
|
| strangers ask "having anymore kids?" | 7/2/2009 |
Q: I have 5 boys ranging from the age of 9yrs to 9 months. I have received inquiries from strangers if ...
A: It sounds as if you are doing a fine job fending off inquires on your own! The tight smile that ...
|
| Wedding Gift Verbal Thank You. | 7/1/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate for the Bride and Groom after receiving and opening a gift to give a verbal Thank ...
A: Verbal thank yous are (or should be) automatically given. However, since the gift was given during ...
|
| Friend visits from out of state and parents dont send compensation for expenses | 7/1/2009 |
Q: Recently I agreed to allow my 13 year olds' school mate (who recently moved out of state), to come ...
A: I am surprised that the child's parents did not think to provide for their child's basic care. ...
|
| Very late wedding invitation | 6/30/2009 |
Q: An old friend of mine is getting married. We have barely kept in touch over the years, and I would ...
A: You seem awfully quick to assign yourself the rejected loser role on this one. Are you sure that ...
|
| tomstone etiquette | 6/30/2009 |
Q: our son was living with us at the time of his death.he was separated from his wife off and on for ...
A: Please put the wife's name on the marker if they have children. Not knowing the outcome of their ...
|
| What is right | 6/27/2009 |
Q: We were invited to a birthday party for a woman in her late thirties. It is a party on a riverboat ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Especially not in honor of herself. Your ...
|
| proper headstone punctuation for woman married twice | 6/26/2009 |
Q: My Mother was married, divorced and then married again. I would like to put all of her names on the ...
A: You may (correctly) either have: Lydia(Thomas)Watson Doe or ...
|
| Gift check | 6/24/2009 |
Q: I've sent my nephew checks for birthdays and most recently his high school graduation, and was ...
A: If you meant for the child to have the money originally,stopping the check would not be the correct ...
|
| Priviate Invite Etiquette | 6/23/2009 |
Q: I am having a 50th birthday party and can only invite a limited amount of guest. While I have many ...
A: People are going to hear about the party. Even if you swear every last one of the invited guests ...
|
| school home work | 6/23/2009 |
Q: what shoud we do during school assembly 2.what should we do running tape water
A: We don't normally help with homework questions,but I think the answers are as follows: Be quiet and ...
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| 50th Birthday Party | 6/21/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate to invite both people of a recent divorce to a 50th birthday party if the person ...
A: This is a question where there are variables that influence the answer. It is not inappropriate to ...
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| SURPRISE 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY | 6/20/2009 |
Q: I AM PLANNING AN INFORMAL BUT VERY SPECIAL SURPRISE 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR MY HUSBAND, IN A HALL ON ...
A: If the party is this important to you,by all means,send out save the date cards. It might not keep ...
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| gifts for the uber-wealthy | 6/19/2009 |
Q: A friend's child has been invited to the bar mitzvah of a child of one of the wealthiest families in ...
A: It's a lovely idea for the adults to give and get donations to favorite charities. Even those who ...
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| graduation ceremony | 6/19/2009 |
Q: Is there a specific order for the entrances of the participants for the "march" during a high school ...
A: While it is traditional for the adults to enter first,it is not inappropriate to make up your own ...
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| Mother's Death | 6/18/2009 |
Q: My mother passed way 8 weeks ago and my father began talking about his "friend" 4 days after the ...
A: You are not being too sensitive,none of us can control grief,only our response to it. Speak to ...
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| Seating | 6/17/2009 |
Q: My husband's grandson has invited both of us to his wedding in August. I am my husband's second ...
A: McLennan, You and your husband should be seated together and placed where ever the couple decides ...
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| Debutante Etiquette | 6/17/2009 |
Q: , My niece is making her debut later this summer. A souvenir journal (partially a fund raiser)will ...
A: WOW. Thank you for forwarding the other "bit of advice". I am really TRULY sorry. I hope that you ...
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| Thank you notes | 6/17/2009 |
Q: My sister in law had a birthday party for her 2 year old foster child that she insists on having her ...
A: You are correct,this isn't about the child,this is about her failed attempts to become a mother. ...
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| Wedding invitations | 6/16/2009 |
Q: We sent out save-the-date cards for our wedding and several people have already gotten back to us ...
A: Do not send them invitations. When you next call,write,e-mail or see them,simply say "Tom and I are ...
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| Card signing etiquette | 6/16/2009 |
Q: My daughter is part of a school choir. The choir director is retiring. We collected money for a ...
A: Be gracious and go ahead and sign everyone's name. This always happens with group gifts,some people ...
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| Food in a meeting | 6/16/2009 |
Q: I have a coworker that eats very strong smelling oatmeal for breakfast every morning. She even ...
A: Are you her immediate superior? If so,yes,go ahead and speak to her in private. "Jenny,we all value ...
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| Beach house guests | 6/16/2009 |
Q: One of our long time friends has recently gotten engaged and brings her fiance with her to our ...
A: Either stop inviting the friend and her fiance to your home or,if this woman is a very close ...
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| graduation cash | 6/12/2009 |
Q: My neighbor/friend of 14 years and I are mothers of graduating high school seniors who have been ...
A: No,you do not have to EVER 'match gifts'. In fact,you never have to give anyone a present for any ...
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| House guests and Bedding | 6/11/2009 |
Q: We are staying overnight with some very nice people we don't know very well as yet. The next day, ...
A: Ask the hostess if she would like for you to strip and remake the bed with fresh sheets. She will ...
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| hostess gift? | 6/10/2009 |
Q: I live in a building with ten condo units. One of the residents invited everyone to her unit for ...
A: There is no need to take a hostess gift to a cocktail party. I do think that it would be MUCH more ...
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| wedding anniversary | 6/9/2009 |
Q: Are we supposed to send each of our kids gifts for their wedding anniversaries? Is just a card ...
A: No,you are not required to send your kids gifts for their wedding anniversaries. A card is more than ...
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| niece's wedding | 6/8/2009 |
Q: My younger sister sent an invitation to our Dad (who is 90 and will not be able to come) with me as ...
A: Obviously you are very hurt by all of this. However,there is nothing wrong with using one ...
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| recipients of gifts not thanking giver | 6/8/2009 |
Q: There are several nephews on both sides of the family who do not call, send a thank you or say ...
A: If they get no pleasure in receiving the gifts and you are no longer deriving any joy from sending ...
|
| ungreatful guest | 6/7/2009 |
Q: I have a female single cousin who earns a very good income and doesn't hesitate to spend on herself. ...
A: 'No good deed goes unpunished' as the saying goes. Listen,being polite does not mean having to be a ...
|
| Debutante Ball | 6/6/2009 |
Q: My college age son has been asked to escort one of his high school friends (they have always been ...
A: As he is an adult (and they are old friends) please have your son call his friend directly. He can ...
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| social gathering & dates | 6/5/2009 |
Q: I recently got engaged and my fiance has been taking me to many social gatherings, some of which ...
A: Your fiance should be aware of your comfort level and do his best to minimize your anxiety at ...
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| invite to twin's high school graduation | 6/4/2009 |
Q: A friend was invited to twin girls high school graduation. He met one about 5 months ago, and only ...
A: He asked your thoughts on what,exactly? I am happy to help but there is something missing in your ...
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| reception 6-7 months after wedding | 6/3/2009 |
Q: For financial reasons, my husband and I had an (in-town) elopement at the end of last December this ...
A: Wolfe, Who has advised you that it is "not okay" to have a renewal of your vows in a church? If ...
|
| Graduation announcement | 6/2/2009 |
Q: We have received a graduation announcement for the grandson of my husband's cousin who lives in ...
A: and Mrs. Miller, No,there is no need to send money or a gift. An announcement is merely ...
|
| Church Pledge | 6/2/2009 |
Q: Should we continue our church pledge if we move out of state?
A: If is was a donation to be made over X number of years as part of a capital campaign,please honor ...
|
| Gift Return | 6/1/2009 |
Q: We recently celebrated an anniversary and were given a surprise party by our children. We received ...
A: It would be insulting to your friends if you returned their gifts. I understand and applaud the ...
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| birthday party ettiquette | 6/1/2009 |
Q: I am planning my husband a 30th birthday party and thinking about doing the same thing. Is that ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. It is better to serve your friends and family ...
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| High School graduation | 6/1/2009 |
Q: Is it proper to send out high school invitations as announcements to friends who have been ...
A: If you write a note with or on the invitations letting the person know that you are just passing on ...
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| senior graduation ettiquette | 6/1/2009 |
Q: Should I give "neighbors,Friends" a senior graduation announcement for a teen....even though most ...
A: If they do not know the graduate,they should not be sent an announcement. Announcements are meant ...
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| gift or no gift | 5/18/2009 |
Q: My best friends wife who has a reputation of being selfish and manipulative, is being thrown a ...
A: Glad tidings,no gift is necessary. You are never ever under any obligation to take a gift to any ...
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| birthday | 5/17/2009 |
Q: Some friends and I would like to celebrate a friends birthday at a restaurant.I know it is not ...
A: Just spread the word via the grapevine that this is what is expected. As you go out with this group ...
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| high school graduation etiquette | 5/15/2009 |
Q: Amanda My son just found out that he is 1/2 credit short of graduating from high school. We have ...
A: If he is going to go through the ceremony with his class,please go ahead and behave as if he is ...
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| Poaching friends | 5/15/2009 |
Q: I belong to a country club. A long-standing friend is also a member, but we do not socialize with ...
A: Once two people are introduced to each other,they are under no obligation to include the person who ...
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| Birthday Cards | 5/14/2009 |
Q: My husband comes from a large family. All are married and have children. There are many birthdays ...
A: Greeting cards are not a requirement,just something nice that people send to mark life milestones. ...
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| Baby Shower Gift Etiquette | 5/14/2009 |
Q: I attend a co-ed group meeting once a week. There's a guy who is part of my sponsored family ...
A: Strictly speaking,it was 'wrong' of her to invite you to her baby shower. The guest of honor's ...
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| apology | 5/14/2009 |
Q: When you ask someone to do something and they say they will do it, then they don't do it, for ...
A: As you cannot use control other people's behavior and pointing out someone else's slip in mannersis ...
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| graduation gift etiquette | 5/13/2009 |
Q: My son recently took part in his university graduation only to find out he did not graduate. He ...
A: Please see to it that he does indeed complete this last class. As he has done 99% of the course work ...
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| High School Graduation | 5/13/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate for the graduate to open gifts at an Open House? I thought maybe the guests who ...
A: Yes,it is fine to open the gifts at the party. Just make sure that you have a small table off to the ...
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| Wedding gift | 5/13/2009 |
Q: So my question is an easy one for some for me and the bridesmaid it's not . I'm a maid of honor in ...
A: The bride is being very gracious and if you want to skip getting the couple a gift,do. She ...
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| College Graduation Decor | 5/12/2009 |
Q: I am about to attend a graduation for my associates degree and am confused about my gown and decor. ...
A: Anything from your high school days must be left behind. This is a separate school,separate ...
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| need help | 5/12/2009 |
Q: Do you have any suggestions on a ceremony to present to two very out going, hard working board ...
A: A ceremony? Why not simply have the board president get up and give a small speech giving the ...
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| Birthday Invitation | 5/12/2009 |
Q: We are flying to California from Florida for my Son's 1st Birthday, but I don't want people to bring ...
A: Please tell the guests exactly that,that you only wish to see them and have them there to celebrate ...
|
| Dress for Swan Lake Matinee | 5/10/2009 |
Q: I am going to Swan Lake Ballet. I was planning on going in the evening but it didn't work out. My ...
A: While the words of the Cole Porter song "Anything Goes" certainly apply,I am afraid you will feel ...
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| Graduation | 5/10/2009 |
Q: My son got 6 invitations to graduation parties. He nor us(parents) got an actual announcement. He ...
A: No one ever has to pay for the privilege of being invited to any party by bringing a gift. It is not ...
|
| daughter-in law relationship | 5/9/2009 |
Q: My son recently married a nice girl from our community. However, I am having difficulty connecting ...
A: Your daughter in law is clearly doing the best that she can in the same awkward and new situation ...
|
| proper dress | 5/7/2009 |
Q: What is the appropriate dress for a music teacher at an afternoon music recital? I will be leading ...
A: A simple day dress or skirt and blouse in dark colors would be most appropriate. You want to 'look ...
|
| Who pays for the food? | 5/7/2009 |
Q: I am planning the 50th wedding anniversary party for my parents. We have 36 people on the guest ...
A: A host/ess never gives a party that s/he cannot afford. If all that you can offer your guests is ...
|
| being a date to an out of town wedding | 5/6/2009 |
Q: A friend/co-worker (just a good friend, I have a boyfriend) has asked me to be his date to an out of ...
A: As you are doing him the favor by agreeing to be his date for the wedding,he gets to pick up the tab ...
|
| college graduation | 5/6/2009 |
Q: I recently received a college graduation announcement from my business partner's daughter. They are ...
A: An announcement is merely information. They are sent out after an event has happened and the only ...
|
| Etiquette sending high school invitations | 5/6/2009 |
Q: It has always been said where I live that you are not to send a graduation invitation to family if ...
A: No child who is a friend of your child's should be invited (with or without their family) if they ...
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| Etiquette sending high school invitations | 5/5/2009 |
Q: It has always been said where I live that you are not to send a graduation invitation to family if ...
A: That is correct,there is no point in sending an invitation to a family that has a child in the same ...
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| could you help me??/ | 5/5/2009 |
Q: My daughter is having her graduation on June 12 at night. when should I send out party announcements ...
A: Please have the party whenever you wish. If your daughter has a large number of friends having their ...
|
| bar mitzvah | 5/5/2009 |
Q: There are 49 kids in my son's grade. For the most part everyone invited everyone to their bar/bat ...
A: Please stay with your original guest list and let the chips fall where they may. This is going to ...
|
| Dating Economics | 5/4/2009 |
Q: I've been dating someone seriously for over 4 months and we spend a lot of time together at my ...
A: The first thing that popped into my head was "A new girlfriend". I doubt that you are interested in ...
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| Birthday Invitaiton Etiquette | 5/4/2009 |
Q: My friend is getting ready to celebrate her daughter's 1st Birthday... and the party is going to be ...
A: While you are never suppose to say anything about gifts on an invitation as it presumes that you ...
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| Graduation open house invitation prohibiting alcohol and tobacco use at my residence | 4/28/2009 |
Q: I am hosting a high school graduation open house for my grandson, whom we have raised since infancy. ...
A: Brown, Do you really expect this to be a problem? If you do not serve alcohol,there shouldn't be ...
|
| Child's Birthday Party/ sick children | 4/28/2009 |
Q: My son's first birthday is coming up and we've invited all the in-laws and lots of other friends ...
A: If you are that worried about your child's health and the risks posed to it by your family,please ...
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| Graduation Announcements | 4/28/2009 |
Q: Please advise how soon prior to a high school graduation should the announcements go out? Also - is ...
A: An announcement always goes out after the fact. Invitations before, announcements after the event ...
|
| A relative's favorite charity | 4/27/2009 |
Q: Gamble, My husband and I donate to several worthwhile charities - in addition to money we have given ...
A: Please ignore this letter. If she did not have the courtesy to explain why this was so important to ...
|
| Printer's Error Results in Huge Faux Pas | 4/27/2009 |
Q: Gamble - for many years, a printer made small cards for me, much like business cards, with my name ...
A: Please say nothing. The people (if any) who caught it are not going to say anything as they think ...
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| wasw to appropriate to end this relationship and ask why she excluded me from her home | 4/25/2009 |
Q: I am puzzled. I have had a friend for several years who has been to my home several times. ...
A: When there is no question mark present after a long note,I am never sure what the person wants. ...
|
| 50th anniversary party | 4/23/2009 |
Q: We plan on having a 50th anniversary party for my parents. There are five girls in the family ...
A: Sigh. There is always one in every family,isn't there? The proper seating arrangement is the one you ...
|
| A friend asked me to help with her baby shower | 4/21/2009 |
Q: A friend emailed me to ask if I would help plan her baby shower which is being held at her home. ...
A: I am trying to get past the audacity of someone asking others to give her a party in the first ...
|
| baby gifts | 4/20/2009 |
Q: In my neighborhood when someone has a baby we all chip in $20. I have always chipped in and really ...
A: Once per family is enough. Speak to your neighbors at a time when this subject isn't pressing (so it ...
|
| anniversary of friends mother | 4/20/2009 |
Q: My friends mother past away suddenly this past May of 2008. One year will soon be here. What can I ...
A: Write her a note letting her know that you are thinking of her as she faces this difficult ...
|
| Sympathy card | 4/20/2009 |
Q: I recently found out a high school boyfriends mother passed away its was 35 years ago that I knew ...
A: As you know,there is no time limit to grief. Sometimes we can feel the loss of a loved one very ...
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| divorce etiquette | 4/20/2009 |
Q: My daughter will be making her confirmation and I want to know who I am required to invite for this ...
A: As your daughter is taking the very adult step of joining her church as a full member,please ask her ...
|
| High School Graduation | 4/19/2009 |
Q: My Daughter is Graduating in June. I would like to send a notice to a few of my friends who are ...
A: As these are very close friends of yours,just hand write a line or two in the invitation. I do NOT ...
|
| family issues | 4/18/2009 |
Q: How does one communicate to family members that unsolicited advise is not desired?
A: As family members usually mean well,it is best,if you can stand it,to simply say "Thank you. You've ...
|
| Sending out thank you sympathy cards | 4/18/2009 |
Q: My Dad passed and I want to send many thank you cards out for all the flowers, donations and ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. If you wish to sign only your family's name,you certainly ...
|
| divorce etiquette | 4/15/2009 |
Q: I am just wondering what the approriate thing is to say to someone when they tell you there divorce ...
A: Try to nod wisely or say something neutral along the lines of "Well..I'm sure this has been a ...
|
| napkin handling during dinner at a restaurant | 4/15/2009 |
Q: Is the waiter supposed to refold one's napkin after leaving the table for a short period? I say no, ...
A: Good heavens NO. Even in the nicest of restaurants the wait staff should not handle the napkins ...
|
| friendship etiquette | 4/15/2009 |
Q: My husband and I are very social people and make friends easily. We have met many friends, since ...
A: When you introduce people,they are free to form their own friendship and pursue whatever common ...
|
| Do not like a friend of a friend | 4/15/2009 |
Q: My dear old friend from college frequently invites me and my husband to parties and events. ...
A: Speak to her privately and make sure she understand that you are not asking her to choose or take ...
|
| Headstone Etiquette | 4/15/2009 |
Q: When having the wife of the deceased name placed on a headstone of her husband should it be her ...
A: The more common practice is to have it marked "Jane Smith Jones" with the idea that if the married ...
|
| name to be called | 4/14/2009 |
Q: I live in Japan and teach English to my husband's first cousin's 20 year old daughter. What should ...
A: As she is an adult,she should call you be your first name if that is all right with you. If it is ...
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| Wedding invitation etiquette | 4/14/2009 |
Q: My brother and sister had a falling out. It was his fault but he feels it's her fault. So, now his ...
A: Do you feel that you must give a reason? I understand not wishing to go,but telling your brother ...
|
| College Graduation | 4/14/2009 |
Q: I have a niece and several cousins and friends children who are graduating from high school this ...
A: Very few people actually want to attend a graduation ceremony that does not involve a close ...
|
| Bonus at Time of Death for Aide | 4/14/2009 |
Q: My mother recently passed away and she had an aide that took wonderful care of her 24/7 for the last ...
A: The rule of thumb for this sort of thing is a week's pay. But do what you feel comfortable with and ...
|
| Request for proper invitation wording for guest attire | 4/14/2009 |
Q: We are hosting a formal 50th wedding anniversary celebration for my parents and would like to ...
A: Usually the expectations for guest attire are written in one or two words and placed at the bottom ...
|
| Re Debutant ball | 4/14/2009 |
Q: I am living in Australia and my son goes to a very traditional private school.He is attending a ...
A: If this young woman has invited your son to her debut,she should provide the tickets. More to the ...
|
| Manners Slip/Rude Host... | 4/13/2009 |
Q: My husband and I were at a cook out a few weeks ago at the home of a friend and my husband had a ...
A: This is a story that has been around for years,no one knows it is true or not,but the meaning is ...
|
| To give or not to give | 4/13/2009 |
Q: One of my coworkers never gives gifts but expects us to give her gifts at holidays and for her ...
A: To give or not to give? If you have no desire to spend your hard earned money on presents for this ...
|
| houseguest | 4/13/2009 |
Q: We are to be staying for 2 Nights with my husband's brother & his wife. I do not know them ...
A: Offer under the general guise of 'family pitching in' but then take your hosts' words at face value ...
|
| High school graduation | 4/13/2009 |
Q: When you should you mail out graduation notices?
A: By notice do you mean an announcement? Those are always sent out after the event has taken place. ...
|
| Why no acknowledgement from my family? | 4/11/2009 |
Q: I recently sent my cousin and her husband a floral tribute for my cousin's mother-in -law's funeral, ...
A: Your question to me is " Should (I) feel guilty for shouting down the phone to them?" Your ...
|
| edicate for giving present | 4/11/2009 |
Q: i wanted to know if I should give a card and present or just a card to someone at a going away party ...
A: Gift giving is always a personal choice. There is no right or wrong. You give presents because you ...
|
| graduate school acceptance/ 30th birthday | 4/11/2009 |
Q: My 29 yr. old daughter lives in Illinois and I live in Massachusetts. She is coming for a visit ...
A: You may certainly give a party for any reason that you wish. To combine the two is fine. An ...
|
| retiremebt party | 4/11/2009 |
Q: My niece friends are giving her a retirement party. They are charging $55.00 a person.I have one ...
A: No. While it is wrong to ask people to 'pay for the privilege' of being invited anywhere as a ...
|
| Guests inviting additional guests | 4/10/2009 |
Q: I am hosting a family get together and have a sister who has invited a family friend. This friend is ...
A: A guest should not invite other guests. It isn't their party,the host/ess has thought out the ...
|
| Obituary Etitque | 4/9/2009 |
Q: Should you list a widow in a death announcement? My mother remarried and her husband passed away, ...
A: Yes,please do mention her. You say where and when he was born and to whom,the schools he went ...
|
| Signing and Addressing Cards | 4/9/2009 |
Q: When signing or addressing cards, should I include the names of unmarried adult children not living ...
A: As a general rule,no,you do not include the unmarried adult children. If they are off on their ...
|
| work cafeteria etiquette | 4/7/2009 |
Q: The cafeteria at work is set up with very long tables with chairs on each side. I eat alone so I try ...
A: If the people are unknown to you and are having a conversation that doesn't directly include you,it ...
|
| Teenage boys n earrings | 4/7/2009 |
Q: My son is 18 years old now and he wants to wear earrings. Very few accept boys wearing earrings in ...
A: I am not an expert on life in the Maldives,but as I understand it, it is primarily a nation that ...
|
| High School Graduation Invitations | 4/5/2009 |
Q: I have a daughter about to graduate from high school. We are wondering if it is proper to send ...
A: Please send them announcements but not invitations. An announcement goes out after the event is over ...
|
| proper name | 4/5/2009 |
Q: Lady had been married for 20 years, maiden name was smith. married name has been Johnson, is now ...
A: She may properly style herself: Jane Smith if she has decided not to take her new husband's name ...
|
| dinner conversation | 4/5/2009 |
Q: Is it proper to make comments about or discuss the food you are eating while dining?
A: If you are among "foodies" please go ahead. If you are not,stick to topics less controversial,such ...
|
| MY BIRTHDAY DINNER | 4/3/2009 |
Q: THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN ANSWERED SOMEWHAT ON YOUR WEB SITE BUT I NEED IT ANSWER FOR ME. I WILL BE ...
A: Coles, An invitation automatically implies that the person being asked to join you is your guest ...
|
| Ex's wives and family events | 4/2/2009 |
Q: My common in law bf and I are in our 40's he in his late 40's we have grown children and ...
A: Out of respect for your feelings this boyfriend should ask these women to not come to family events ...
|
| Wedding Announcements | 4/2/2009 |
Q: Would it be proper for grooms parents to send announcements to their friends after the wedding? We ...
A: It is absolutely appropriate. It is still your news to share with whomever you'd like to know it. ...
|
| baby shower | 4/1/2009 |
Q: I am hosting a baby shower for one of my friends. She and her mom have suggested that I hold it at a ...
A: As you are the hostess of this party,you get to decide where it is held and all of the other ...
|
| graduation announcement timeline | 4/1/2009 |
Q: What is the proper timeline as far as how early high school graduation announcements should be ...
A: An announcement always goes out after the event is over. Invitations,on the other hand,may go out a ...
|
| ETIQUETTE | 3/31/2009 |
Q: SOME OF OUR HOUSE GUESTS TEND TO REMOVE ALL THE BED LINEN FROM THE MATTRESS BEFORE LEAVING, IS THIS ...
A: There are wonderful things called mattress covers. You buy them for a new mattress to protect it or ...
|
| Different moms | 3/30/2009 |
Q: My sister and I have the same dad but different moms. Am I related to her mom or any of her moms ...
A: Is your half sister's Mom your step-mother at this time? If so, then,yes,you are related. If she is ...
|
| etiquette | 3/30/2009 |
Q: I called my brother and told him i was coming over with my fiance. we get to the house and he lets ...
A: A gracious host or hostess welcomes people into their home by greeting them. However,since she had ...
|
| Baby Shower Invitation | 3/30/2009 |
Q: My daughter's friends are hosting a baby shower for her. At my request, my daughter is including ...
A: Irving, How close can these friends of yours truly be if they are unaware of your daughter's ...
|
| Gifts for Bridal Shower Hostesses | 3/29/2009 |
Q: I am the mother of the bride. I was told that I need to buy gifts for my four friends who are ...
A: Levin, No. You may if you wish,but it is not required nor should it be expected. These women are ...
|
| Dessert Bar | 3/27/2009 |
Q: I am throwing a co-ed baby shower and plan to serve a food buffet as well as a dessert bar. Should I ...
A: If you have the space there is nothing wrong with putting the desserts out at the same time as the ...
|
| Hosting a baby shower | 3/27/2009 |
Q: Is it proper for the grandmother to be to host a baby shower? My son is an only child so there are ...
A: The only people who may properly give a woman a bridal or baby shower are her friends. Showers ...
|
| Protocol for Graduation Invitation | 3/27/2009 |
Q: I have searched for the proper answer to this one and cannot find one that relates to it. My ...
A: You are not required to send (or take) a gift for any occasion. No one has to 'pay for the ...
|
| how to show my support | 3/26/2009 |
Q: My boss - male in the 60's - is having colon cancer surgery. Should I send a card, flowers, a book? ...
A: None of the things that you mention are inappropriate gestures of support and concern. I don't know ...
|
| Graduation Announcement | 3/25/2009 |
Q: My daughter will soon graduate with a doctorate of dentistry-and will soon after become an associate ...
A: Elizabeth Doe Smith has graduated from Winston University with a ...
|
| bearevment card | 3/24/2009 |
Q: A family member died (not immediate family) and I would like to know if it's proper to address the ...
A: Please address the note to both your relative and her husband. Even if he was not close to his ...
|
| Invitation to do brunch together to celebrate | 3/24/2009 |
Q: My birthday is coming up and I am not in the position this year to throw a party. I really want for ...
A: Yes,if you are sending out invitations,you are the hostess and bear the responsibility for the ...
|
| Graduation gifts | 3/23/2009 |
Q: Amanda, Recently I was preparing to graduate from a four-year college with a bachelor's degree. ...
A: I wish I knew how "off track" you are here. Is it that you are short a class or two and will ...
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| $ given in your honor | 3/23/2009 |
Q: I have in-laws that give in-direct gifts to their adult children and now their grandchildren. They ...
A: Absolutely nothing. The only appropriate response to any gift, even the ones that you do not like,is ...
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| seating at booths | 3/21/2009 |
Q: When a couple is sitting on the same side of a restaurant booth, does the female sit on the inside ...
A: It is okay for the man to go in first so that the woman does not have to slide and wrinkle her ...
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| Gift at wedding for future step children | 3/21/2009 |
Q: My son is getting married and will have three new step children. He wants to, during the ceremony, ...
A: Please make it something that they can each keep and use well into adulthood. Engraved pocket or ...
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| Acknowledge a thank-you gift? | 3/20/2009 |
Q: Is there etiquette precedence to acknowledge a thank-you gift? My sister-in-law stayed a weekend ...
A: It isn't a 'must' but it's a nice thing to do. (Saying thank you for a thank you gift with a ...
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| Who pays for dinner | 3/18/2009 |
Q: Boyfriend and girlfriend's parents are meeting for the first time over dinner. Both sets of parents ...
A: If the boyfriend (couple) can afford to do so,he (they) should pay the check. The parents are ...
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| ex girlfriends | 3/17/2009 |
Q: My boyfriend recently "dropped in" on his ex girlfriend whom he has not had any significant contact ...
A: You don't need to let it go,you need to let him go. He obviously still has feelings for this woman. ...
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| Sporting Event tickets | 3/17/2009 |
Q: On one of the social networking sites I saw that an old acquaintance had 4 available tickets to an ...
A: Don't make too big a deal of it,but after saying thank you it wouldn't hurt to say "...and you're ...
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| Wedding gift | 3/17/2009 |
Q: My daughter received a check from one of her cousins as a gift as he was unable to attend the ...
A: Tricky. Sending the thank you note is a must,of course. I am with you in not saying anything more ...
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| Declining a party in my honor? | 3/17/2009 |
Q: A good friend is insisting on throwing me a birthday party to celebrate an upcoming milestone. It's ...
A: Absolutely. Please thank the hostess for her kindness,but that it would be uncomfortable for you to ...
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| Sympathy Card Etiquette | 3/17/2009 |
Q: Is it poor etiquette to send a sympathy card a few months after the person passed away?
A: No,it is perfectly appropriate to send a note well after the final rites are over. Sometimes we ...
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| Party for a Doctoral graduate | 3/16/2009 |
Q: What title do you put after the graduate name when giving a party after commencent ceremony
A: Boswell, It is common practice to write the celebrant's first name only in icing on the cake,but ...
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| Was this wrong? | 3/16/2009 |
Q: My mother-in law was unhappy with a birthday gift my wife (her daughter) gave to her. Several days ...
A: Of course you were right to be appalled. What mother does that? Answer: A really bad one. Or at ...
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| Graduation | 3/16/2009 |
Q: What is an appropriate graduation gift for someone receiving an associate's degree?
A: Something the person would like or could use. It also helps if it is something that you can afford ...
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| Who pays for casual birthday party in a restaurant? | 3/16/2009 |
Q: My girlfriend "Diane" is having a birthday soon and her boyfriend arranged to have a surprise dinner ...
A: Please make arrangments with the restaurant so that no bill is presneted. When they are ready,either ...
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| Wedding response | 3/15/2009 |
Q: If you are invited to a wedding after the first round of invitations are out and responded to and ...
A: NO! Even if you were going you still wouldn't have to take a gift. No one ever has to pay for the ...
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| money | 3/13/2009 |
Q: how are some ways a 11 year old can earn money
A: An 11 year old is probably too young to babysit,but have you thought about asking family and family ...
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| friendship and rent. | 3/13/2009 |
Q: i own an apartment in mumbai INDIA. the market rent is Rs 25000/- with a security deposit of Rs ...
A: Please don't buy him a luxury item that equals the rent money. He will pick up on it and think ...
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| Who pays for casual birthday party in a restaurant? | 3/13/2009 |
Q: My girlfriend "Diane" is having a birthday soon and her boyfriend arranged to have a surprise dinner ...
A: The rule of thumb is,that no host or hostess should ever throw a party that they cannot afford. If ...
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| friendship and rent. | 3/11/2009 |
Q: i own an apartment in mumbai INDIA. the market rent is Rs 25000/- with a security deposit of Rs ...
A: Have you thought about it from his point of view? It may seem insulting to him that his best friend ...
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| Graduate school ettiquette | 3/11/2009 |
Q: My son is graduating from veterinary school as a DVM. What is the ettiquette for announcements? ...
A: Party invitations and announcements are two different things. An announcement is simply a way to ...
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| Baby shower | 3/11/2009 |
Q: What is the typical protocol for where the mother-in-law of the mom-to-be should sit at her ...
A: Well,as a bridal and baby showers are supposed to be informal events given by a woman's ...
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| just asking! | 3/10/2009 |
Q: Good day Ma'am! I just want to know if it is a bad manner in table if you talk that too much. ...
A: You're welcome,Rocky. -A.J.G.
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| death etiquette | 3/9/2009 |
Q: My ex father-in-law died last December but I just heard about it a few weeks ago. I wasn't real ...
A: No,it wouldn't be the least bit inappropriate. You are sincerely sorry for the loss of this man. ...
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| House Guest Nightmare | 3/9/2009 |
Q: I have a friend that moved to another state a couple years ago. Once my boyfriend and I visited her ...
A: Oh honey,no. No,no,no. Do not let yourself be treated like this. Do not allow your home to be used ...
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| Divorcing Friend | 3/5/2009 |
Q: I have a situation where my neighbor and close acquaintance is in the middle of a divorce. Her ...
A: You already know what to do,it was in the body of your letter. Trust your instincts here. Your first ...
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| Recognizing Wedding Anniversary after the death of a spouse | 3/5/2009 |
Q: My husband and I are very close to another couple. Sadly, the husband has just died, and their ...
A: Please do not send an anniversary card but do write her a note. She will be thinking of her husband ...
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| envelope addressing for bridal shower | 3/5/2009 |
Q: What is correct? Mrs. Leslie or Mrs. Husband name or something else.
A: If your friend is known socially by her husband's name,then Mrs Fred Smoot goes on the envelope. If ...
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| Christening party | 3/5/2009 |
Q: I invited a friend that lives in a different state and that I have known since high school to my ...
A: Tell her it would not be fair to subject her or the boyfriend to the upheaval that surrounds a new ...
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| weddings | 3/4/2009 |
Q: I would like to know if there is a certain way of handling weddings, baby showers and wedding ...
A: A woman should be given one bridal and one baby shower in her lifetime. The original 'showers' ...
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| graduation announcement | 3/1/2009 |
Q: Would it be proper to indicate in our daughters' announcements for her graduate level medical degree ...
A: An announcement and an invitation are two very different things. An announcement is merely news to ...
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| Adult Child Etiquette | 3/1/2009 |
Q: Every time I go to lunch or dinner with my 34 YEAR OLD daughter, I am expected to pay. She never ...
A: Children are what we raise them to become. Now that she is an adult,the time to correct her behavior ...
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| step family @middle school graduation parties | 2/28/2009 |
Q: there will be a photographer on hand and I want to know do i take photos with my son and his step ...
A: Why can you not do both? There is no 'right' answer to this. Only you know what his relationship is ...
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| Bridal Tea | 2/26/2009 |
Q: We are having a Family Only wedding. A Bridal tea is being hosted for future daughter in law and I ...
A: Please do not invite anyone to the tea who will not also receive an invitation to the wedding. ...
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| exwives and girlfirends | 2/24/2009 |
Q: i have been dating a man for nearly three years. he has been separated/divorced now for about 3 1/2 ...
A: There is nothing inappropriate about your boyfriend attending the funeral of his former ...
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| Borrowing and returning items | 2/24/2009 |
Q: Gamble! Thank you for your time and advice! 4 years ago my mom sent me 10 handmade scarves, while ...
A: The best rule of thumb to follow when loaning something out is to never expect to get it back. ...
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| non invite to a lingerie shower | 2/24/2009 |
Q: My brother is getting married in April and my sister and I are brides maids in the wedding. We found ...
A: Of course you have the right to be upset. No one can or should tell you how to feel. It is how we ...
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| Birthday Invitation Etiquette | 2/24/2009 |
Q: I am planning my 30th birthday which well be held at a local restaurant. I would prefer for my ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Please scale back your plans to include only ...
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| Gift-giving at 50th Anniversary celebration | 2/23/2009 |
Q: I was invited to a small party for my friends parents (50th anniversary). There was no mention of ...
A: Spaulding, Usually after 50 years of marriage,people have enough 'stuff' and really do not want ...
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| Family dinner dishes | 2/23/2009 |
Q: A bit of background...My sister and I and our respective families go to my Mom's on Sunday's for ...
A: This is very simple,really. What do these family dinners mean to you? What price are you willing to ...
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| How to tactfully change service providers | 2/22/2009 |
Q: I have been going to the same colorist for several years and using another sytlist to cut my hair. ...
A: It is kindest to simply not book your next appointment. Drift off as it were. She provided a service ...
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| Grandmother's Shower | 2/22/2009 |
Q: Recently, a friend of my mother's (who I do not know well) offered to throw me a baby shower. I had ...
A: If your Mom can con someone into throwing her a "grandmother shower" then so be it. But suggest that ...
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| Birthday Wishing Well | 2/20/2009 |
Q: I have been asked to a 40th Birthday Party and on the invitation they request "no gifts please" but ...
A: No,not in the least. I am asked. You sought me out. Your friend does not think that there is ...
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| Name for return address | 2/20/2009 |
Q: For a college graduation announcment: Is the student's name OK for the return address? There are ...
A: The envelope is strictly business. The information on it needs to be clear for the sake of the ...
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| Thank you etiquette | 2/19/2009 |
Q: I was recently informed that I had been the winner of a local radio contest for a free total tattoo ...
A: It is never wrong to say thank you. This means a great deal to you. (the tattoo removal) Let them ...
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| Birthday Registry | 2/19/2009 |
Q: I’m planning my daughters first birthday party. There will be mostly family attending and some of ...
A: It might be helpful,but it is not appropriate. No matter how much your friends and family love this ...
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| Greeting Cards | 2/18/2009 |
Q: A friend of my wife, which was invited to our wedding and had social gatherings with us has always ...
A: Your wife's friend is not the problem here. He or she is being ridiculously petty. Who carries on a ...
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| Birthday Wishing Well | 2/18/2009 |
Q: I have been asked to a 40th Birthday Party and on the invitation they request "no gifts please" but ...
A: The worst breech of etiquette anyone can make is to point out someone else's faux pas. The term ...
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| no gifts for children | 2/16/2009 |
Q: My child is 3 1/2 years old. He has just been invited to the 2nd birthday party this year requesting ...
A: It isn't a trick,I promise. Many parents are realizing that their kids have more toys than they ...
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| birthday gift age | 2/16/2009 |
Q: What is appropriate age to stop giving gifts for birthday. I have a niece who is turning 18. Is it ...
A: At the age of 18 she becomes an adult. She is free to join the military,marry and to enjoy all sorts ...
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| Who pays how much for a dinner bill | 2/16/2009 |
Q: Who pays how much for a dinner bill I joined 2 friends at a pub; they are engaged to be married. ...
A: Oh dear. Our starry eyed bride to be is taking the Gospel according to Mark a little too seriously. ...
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| christening lunch dilemer | 2/15/2009 |
Q: i am christening my two daughters shortly and plan to have nibbles after at a near by pub, my ...
A: Offer what you can afford to give your guests without apology. Can you have coffee and tea available ...
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| Charity giving etiquette | 2/13/2009 |
Q: My in-laws, with whom I have a very awkward relationship, have begun to send a gift card at ...
A: Your oldest two children are in college,correct? So you have been putting up with this ...
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| Going away party | 2/13/2009 |
Q: Our family is moving to another country in April. We would like to see our friends and family before ...
A: Absolutely. You may give a party at any time and for almost any reason. This is an excellent reason! ...
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| Gift Giving | 2/12/2009 |
Q: My neice has legally adopted her husbands son from his previous and are having a celebration at ...
A: How nice of you to want to do something to commemorate such a special day. I don't know how ...
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| Charity giving etiquette | 2/12/2009 |
Q: My in-laws, with whom I have a very awkward relationship, have begun to send a gift card at ...
A: Not to worry,it wasn't that long. I have given you the etiquette 'rule' for the situation. It is up ...
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| Charity giving etiquette | 2/12/2009 |
Q: My in-laws, with whom I have a very awkward relationship, have begun to send a gift card at ...
A: "It is my strong belief that if you give a gift of charity in someone else's name, it is proper to ...
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| Tastefully wording on Lingerie Shower Invitations | 2/10/2009 |
Q: I'm giving a lingerie shower and would like some examples of "tasteful" wording on the ...
A: As these are your friends,spread the word via the old reliable 'grapevine' what is expected. If ...
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| Tastefully wording on Lingerie Shower Invitations | 2/10/2009 |
Q: I'm giving a lingerie shower and would like some examples of "tasteful" wording on the ...
A: Guests are asked to remember when shopping that Sarah's elderly and easily shocked great Grandmother ...
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| salutation | 2/10/2009 |
Q: how do you address letter - husband is a Mr. and the wife is a doctor....would it be: Mr. John and ...
A: If she has taken her husband's name then socially,she still may be properly addressed as "Mrs. John ...
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| Quick Question | 2/10/2009 |
Q: Unfortunately, my brother has recently passed away. We have everything arrainged including flowers. ...
A: Please know how very sorry I am for your loss. Yes,it is appropriate to take flowers to the memorial ...
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| inconsiderate in-laws (and husband too) | 2/9/2009 |
Q: Let me start by setting up the situation. We invited my in-laws over for dinner one Sunday. We had ...
A: The problem isn't with your in-laws,it's with your husband. The in laws,either through expressed or ...
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| Headstone Etiquette | 2/9/2009 |
Q: Please tell me what is appropriate for the following: 1. My grandmother was married a second time. ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Ninety nine is certainly a long life,but it doesn't mean ...
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| Attire-Private Dining Room | 2/9/2009 |
Q: Is it permissable to allow the wearing of 'jeans' in a private, 'elegant' (formal table setting; ...
A: I am a little confused by your question. (As to who owns the place and what it is a part of) No ...
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| Neighbourhood party | 2/8/2009 |
Q: I don't know where to start. We are a pretty socially shy family. My husband has never gotten past ...
A: It is puzzling to me that in this day and age there are people who would consider your son 'not ...
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| seating at anniversary party | 2/6/2009 |
Q: We will be having a party to celebrate our 40th anniversary. How should the attendants be seated? ...
A: If you wish to have a head table,you certainly may do so,it's a very novel idea! The spouses would ...
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| our baby | 2/6/2009 |
Q: we have a 16 mo. old. my husband is persian and i'm american. the babies hair has been getting ...
A: Yes,she was out of line,but it's a bell you can't un-ring. Your poor dear husband was probably just ...
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| etiquette | 2/5/2009 |
Q: should i take a gift to a business open house?if so any ideas? thanks, sue lange
A: Are you invited as a potential client or is this a friend/family member who is opening a business? ...
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| What should I have done? | 2/5/2009 |
Q: I was entering a building with my manager and I was holding the door. At the same time an old friend ...
A: Don't be too hard on yourself here,it happens to all of us. We get trapped by someone who is talking ...
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| Sympathy card | 2/4/2009 |
Q: My mother-in-law passed away. In addressing the envelope, do I include my son and grandchildren's ...
A: Please address your condolence note to whomever it is intended for. If all of these people live in ...
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| etiquette for stepmother to be | 2/4/2009 |
Q: i'm having conversations with my daughter about her future step mother's involvement in my ...
A: Your instincts are correct,you should not get involved. Your divorce is over and done with. If you ...
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| seating at anniversary party | 2/4/2009 |
Q: We will be having a party to celebrate our 40th anniversary. How should the attendants be seated? ...
A: What attendants? The original bridesmaids and groomsmen,etc? I am happy to help,but am confused by ...
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| Proper Gift | 2/3/2009 |
Q: I have been invited to attend the ceremony of a friend who has been promoted to Colonel in the Army. ...
A: If you cannot think of something off the top of your head,then it is okay to pass. In fact,you are ...
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| rsvp | 2/1/2009 |
Q: what is the proper way to answer a RSVP to a wedding....specify what follow the M on the response ...
A: The M is followed by r,s,rs,etc. (Mr. Ms. Mrs.) if the person responding is a doctor,minister,naval ...
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| 30th Birthday party | 1/31/2009 |
Q: I'm throwing a surprise 30th birthday party for my husband. We are having it at a local bowling ...
A: Perfectly reasonable. You are having the party at the bowling alley. It (bowling)is not the sole ...
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| Salutaton for same sex couple | 1/31/2009 |
Q: I have two female friends who have recently married. How do I address the envelope? Before the ...
A: Do they live in France? If so,you were not incorrect. For this newly married couple,until you find ...
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| bridal shower | 1/31/2009 |
Q: Is it bad luck to open gift at a shower with a knife or a scissors
A: This isn't etiquette,this is superstition. In some cultures, opening a bridal shower gift with a ...
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| birthday invitation wording | 1/30/2009 |
Q: My daughter would like to have some friends go with her to a local resturant to celebrate her 17th ...
A: If you tell someone that they must pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere as a guest,it ...
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| Texting Thank You's | 1/30/2009 |
Q: If someone texts you thanking you for a gift.Do you need to acknowledge them? Do you need thank them ...
A: No need to 'thank them for thanking you' but there is no harm in acknowledging the text with a ...
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| emial vs phone call | 1/30/2009 |
Q: Beyond the practical side, when is it proper to use a phone call over an e-mail and/or vice versa, ...
A: As both are extremely informal means of communication,one is no better (or worse) than the other ...
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| leg crossing | 1/29/2009 |
Q: what is the proper way for men and women to cross their legs?
A: A woman may cross her legs at the ankle or at the knee. But if she crosses them at the knee,she ...
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| Wording on wedding invitation | 1/29/2009 |
Q: Re: parents of the groom - wording on Wedding invitation: Should it be: Doctor and Mrs John Everett ...
A: If John E Smith Sr is deceased,then junior does move up a spot. Some men never do change their names ...
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| hem of long dress | 1/28/2009 |
Q: Is there a proper hem length of a long dress? What I mean is should the shoes be hidden or seen? You ...
A: I am going to turn to the immortal words of Mr Cole Porter for the answer "In olden days a glimpse ...
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| duties when visiting | 1/28/2009 |
Q: Should I always take a gift? Also when staying over night do I strip the bed of it's linens and ...
A: It depends entirely upon how well you know your host/ess. If it is a family member or good friend,it ...
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| Daughter-In-Laws Baby Shower | 1/28/2009 |
Q: This is actually a two fold question and lengthy because it is complicated. I am a first time ...
A: It is your daughter's ticket. She is an adult and it is her responsibility to roll with the crazy ...
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| anniversary invitations | 1/27/2009 |
Q: It's our 50th anniversary and I want to send out save the date cards how far in advance should they ...
A: The more formal the event the longer the lead time. Six months for a truly big (or at least ...
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| Gift for college graduation open house? | 1/27/2009 |
Q: I am invited to a college graduation Open House. What is the proper gift for a college graduate, or ...
A: The question here is what do you WANT to do? No one is ever required to give a gift for a life ...
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| formal invitations | 1/26/2009 |
Q: our historical group will be sending an invitation to our governor and congressman what is the ...
A: Grant, Dear Governor Daniels, On behalf of the Heirloom Tomato Society,I would like to ...
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| Gift for college graduation open house? | 1/26/2009 |
Q: I am invited to a college graduation Open House. What is the proper gift for a college graduate, or ...
A: The older the graduate (the more advanced the degree) the less appropriate it is to give them a ...
|
| meeting my boyfriends family | 1/26/2009 |
Q: my BF and i have been dating for over 4 years, He is 37 I am 35. He's a dentist, I'm a drug ...
A: The first thing to do here is relax. This will be a walk in the park compared to what you have been ...
|
| Is Velvet appropriate any time | 1/24/2009 |
Q: Is a formal velvet dress or skirt/jacket acceptable any time it is cold or only during the holidays? ...
A: Velvet is supposed to be worn only from October 1st to March 1st unless it is an evening coat or ...
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| baby shower ettiquette | 1/23/2009 |
Q: your reply was that you had already answered this question for me before but you must have me ...
A: The 'answered before' means that it is in the archives and available to be searched. But I will be ...
|
| Proper Use of Education Honorific | 1/23/2009 |
Q: Good Day, I have a question about the proper use of education honorifics. A few years ago I ...
A: I wouldn't say "missed",I don't think a memo was circulated. But,yes,it used to be that people very ...
|
| 50th anniversary party | 1/23/2009 |
Q: I am trying to put together an anniversary dinner for my parents 50th anniversary, but with the cost ...
A: Campbell, A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. No one should ever be made to 'pay ...
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| Can't afforf it, don't want to. | 1/22/2009 |
Q: A couple of my work colleagues always want me there to celebrate their birthdays at expensive ...
A: As this is only a twice a year inconvenience,it is better to either go to the birthday party or ...
|
| Ex-in-laws in Obituary and Memorial Service | 1/21/2009 |
Q: I recently married a man who has two ex-wives. His mother is dying of cancer and we will be writing ...
A: It is absolutely appropriate to list anyone the family agrees upon as survivors of your Mother in ...
|
| 60th birthday | 1/21/2009 |
Q: A group of women have offered to host our friends 60th birthday. Several hostess's have suggested ...
A: This sounds like a very casual sort of get-together in honor of your friend's birthday. No need to ...
|
| Invitation wording/Party etiquette | 1/20/2009 |
Q: I've chosen the venue and am playing golf with close friends and clients in the morning, cocktail ...
A: No one should ever be asked to pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere as a guest. ...
|
| Divorced parents visiting child | 1/19/2009 |
Q: My daughter lives in another city from myself and Ex-wife. She has asked us to visit to meet groom's ...
A: As long as the two ex-spouses can get along without committing murder,mayhem or general scandal,it ...
|
| thank yous and $ | 1/19/2009 |
Q: I have been staying with a friend while I attend a three week condensed college course. She has done ...
A: You have already paid her and it would be a bit awkward to add on to the amount now,as if it were a ...
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| Advice on giving advice on giving advice | 1/19/2009 |
Q: Amanda- I just received an email from my mother in which she offered advice and correction under ...
A: Is there any hope of changing who she is and how she reacts to things? Some people can manage to see ...
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| bridal shower or celebration | 1/19/2009 |
Q: My daughter is getting married soon and has chosen a destination wedding with only immediate family ...
A: Yes,you are correct,you never invite people to a shower when they have no reasonable expectation of ...
|
| Giving back gifts to the gift giver. | 1/18/2009 |
Q: I recently purchased a Christmas gift for someone in my future husband's family. I did enclose the ...
A: You are correct,it is rude (and a little odd) for them to make such a request. The whole purpose of ...
|
| Asking to include a friend in an invitation | 1/17/2009 |
Q: I have been invited to my co-worker's annual party. She invites a lot of people, and it is a ...
A: While normally it is taboo to ask to bring a friend to someone else's party,in this case (a large ...
|
| widow of son attending ex-father-in-laws funeral and obituaries | 1/16/2009 |
Q: I have been very close to my former father and mother-in-law. My first husband died in 1998 and I ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. The next of kin,the closest surviving relative has the ...
|
| daughters engagement | 1/16/2009 |
Q: do I have to invite my ex to my home for an engagement party for her daughter
A: If you (or she) cannot make it through the party without getting into an argument or causing a ...
|
| gifts | 1/16/2009 |
Q: if your invited to a wedding anniversary dinner should you bring a gift or if you give the couple a ...
A: If you have been invited to an anniversary dinner,the host is responsible for the expenses of the ...
|
| college graduation announcements | 1/15/2009 |
Q: Gamble I am wondering who announces a college graduation if the graduate is married? the parents? ...
A: When the graduate is married it is appropriate to have the announcements read simply: ...
|
| Nephews/Nieces | 1/13/2009 |
Q: We have been giving birthday money for our nieces and nephews for years. But when the kids finally ...
A: It's a little silly and (depending on how the kids feel about it) demeaning for an adult to get ...
|
| 60th birthday | 1/13/2009 |
Q: A group of women have offered to host our friends 60th birthday. Several hostess's have suggested ...
A: A guest should never be expected to pay for the privilege of being invited somewhere. The group of ...
|
| Following Memorial Service | 1/12/2009 |
Q: another month or so, and wonder if it is proper to invite guests back to my home for a light ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Yes,you certainly may have friends and family come back ...
|
| Bridal Shower invitation | 1/10/2009 |
Q: Would it "proper" to send out Bridal Shower invitations that include 2 dates and 2 locations so the ...
A: As it is your intent to be considerate of your prospective guests,giving them a choice of two ...
|
| Gift Etiquette | 1/10/2009 |
Q: A very good friend gave me a Christmas gift that is something I don't like. I am surprised that ...
A: If this woman is truly someone that you consider to be a 'very good friend' why in the world would ...
|
| Addressing envelopes to government officials | 1/9/2009 |
Q: I have written a letter to my local military base commander and know how to address that letter, ...
A: Please excuse the tardy reply,I have no idea where your question went after it was sent,but it only ...
|
| Gift Giving at PHD party. | 1/8/2009 |
Q: Is it proper to give a gift at the reception ?
A: While it is not inappropriate to give a newly liberated graduate student a present,it is not ...
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| Returning a Christmas gift to giver | 1/8/2009 |
Q: Is it appropriate to return a Christmas gift a friend gave to you if you have a falling out with the ...
A: No,you do not want to add insult to injury. The person gave you the gift for Christmas. The holiday ...
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| walking Etiquette | 1/6/2009 |
Q: A man and woman are walking on the street, to which side of the woman is the man walking?
A: The man walks on the outside,closest to the awful,muddy,dangerous road. Etiquette demands that the ...
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| Condolences | 1/6/2009 |
Q: I just learned of a death of an old friend's mother who has passed away 3 and a half weeks ago. As ...
A: It is absolutely appropriate to send her a note of condolence. Just a few lines will do. Dear ...
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| legacy members of a debutante society | 1/6/2009 |
Q: I am on the board of a debutante society club. This club was formed 21 years ago in which I became ...
A: Each has it's own merits. The upside to making people re-apply is that you can get rid of dead wood ...
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| Sympathy Cards | 1/6/2009 |
Q: Amanda, My father-in-law passed away a few days ago, and I am wondering if my husband and I are are ...
A: No,there is no need for members of the immediate family to send anything to each other. If there is ...
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| Earrings as a gift | 1/5/2009 |
Q: I received a pair of very pretty pierced earrings from my boyfriends mother for Christmas that match ...
A: Please write a thank you note and do not say anything that will indicate that you are anything less ...
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| Graduation Parties | 1/5/2009 |
Q: My friend is having a Graduation Party for her granddaughter. Instead of gifts she wants to tell ...
A: A money tree is never in good taste. Nor is telling people that you expect gifts of any kind. A ...
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| 10th wedding anniversary | 1/4/2009 |
Q: Is it tacky to have a party for our 10th wedding anniversary? We want to invite our family and close ...
A: Anyone may have a party for any reason they wish. As long as the focus is on treating your guests ...
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| messy house | 1/4/2009 |
Q: The best friend of my son and his wife keeps a very messy, dusty, and cluttered house. It is really ...
A: Easy resolution,if your son and daughter in law wish to see this woman,why do they not invite her to ...
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| Birthday Party Dates | 1/3/2009 |
Q: My husband's 40th birthday is Jan. 28th and I figured we would do it the Saturday or the Saturday ...
A: Anyone may give a party for almost any reason and at any time. A few weeks or months past the actual ...
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| Bridal Shower | 1/3/2009 |
Q: I'm planning a wedding for my daughter. We have many out of state guest. Do you invite the out of ...
A: Please leave the out of state guests who have no reasonable expectation of coming to the shower off ...
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| present for my mother-in-law turning 80. | 1/3/2009 |
Q: My husband and I are planning a surprise 80th birthday party for his mother. We are having it in our ...
A: Money trees are never in good taste. What you did for your own dear Mother's party was perfect. Ask ...
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| Guest of a guest -- Thank-you note? | 1/2/2009 |
Q: I was invited by a friend to accompany him to a Christmas party last month. One of the host couple ...
A: You may thank your host,as you were his guest. Leave the thanking of the party givers via note to ...
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| bedding | 1/2/2009 |
Q: can you advise me of the correct way to place pillows on the bed. i have always placed them so the ...
A: I was always taught to place the pillows as you do,with the case openings facing inward,away from ...
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| Banquet Invitation Addressing | 1/1/2009 |
Q: My organization is hosting an awards banquet. I am trying to figure out the proper way to address ...
A: Have you ever heard the story about Julie Andrews as a child? She had a freakishly adult voice and ...
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| unwanted guest ... | 12/31/2008 |
Q: My cousin and her husband left their corporate careers a few years ago for a "bohemian" (their word) ...
A: Wow,no one can accuse him of being shy,can they? If two days are all that you are comfortable ...
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| Birthday/W/A etc... | 12/30/2008 |
Q: How do you handle this? At a social gathering; we met a couple. We exchanged e-mail and phone nos ...
A: What couple wants to share their wedding anniversary dinner with virtual strangers? I find that a ...
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| No gift to give | 12/30/2008 |
Q: What should I do about a new friend buying me a Christmas present? I met him on Halloween, have ...
A: He probably got you something because he wanted to and did not expect anything in return. You are ...
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| Accepting an invitation after declining | 12/30/2008 |
Q: What is a polite response to friends who decline an invitation, then call at the last minute to say ...
A: From this point forward,only invite these people to large, informal gatherings where it doesn't ...
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| Which name goes first? | 12/30/2008 |
Q: Recently a friend asked whose name goes first? When addressing a married couple, does the husband's ...
A: No,it does not matter. People seem to think there SHOULD be a rule about this,but honestly,there is ...
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| rude relative | 12/29/2008 |
Q: I have been in a relationship with the same man for three years. Everytime we visit his twin ...
A: This man should not allow anyone to treat you like dirt. Not a friend,not a store clerk,and most ...
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| family dinner left overs | 12/29/2008 |
Q: This question, I realize, is rather family-dynamic specific but follows up on your advice about left ...
A: You took it to your parents' house,so it was theirs to do with as they wished. No,your sister should ...
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| Birthday | 12/28/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are invited to a 40th birthday party at a pricey restaurant. The invite was sent ...
A: It's an option. "Please,no gifts" would be a request. This is your host/ess saying "...if you want ...
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| New Years Christmas Celebration | 12/27/2008 |
Q: My husband's "family" Christmas is held at our home on New Years Day. We also host a New Years Eve ...
A: It is appropriate to leave Christmas decorations up until the feast of the Epiphany (also known as ...
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| Missing Christmas Gift | 12/27/2008 |
Q: Every year that I've worked at my company there are generous gifts given especially by the higher ...
A: Please say nothing about what you suspect. Thank you boss (either in person or by note) for the ...
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| Invitations | 12/26/2008 |
Q: I have a dear friend that always counters an invitation with another ...
A: If you two are truly close,please speak to her. Perhaps she is unaware of her actions and how they ...
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| Nowhere man / No Reply (without The Beatles) | 12/26/2008 |
Q: I'm a computer programmer in a multinational. I have 20+ years of experience, and 6 with the ...
A: You are not incorrect in feeling that basic civilities are the norm between coworkers. It shouldn't ...
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| after receiving money | 12/25/2008 |
Q: After receiving the gift of money, is one obliged to tell the giver what the money will be used for?
A: No,you are not obligated to say what the money will be spent on. However,if you are writing a thank ...
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| Gifts for coworkers | 12/22/2008 |
Q: One of my coworkers gave me a holiday gift. I work in an office with about 15 other people. My ...
A: Do not give any gift other than the one you had already planned to give. It is better not to show ...
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| Invitation to Debutante Coterie Ball | 12/22/2008 |
Q: I have an invitation to such a ball, however, it says nothing about RSVPing and I will be out of ...
A: Please write a note declining the invitation with regret. You do not have to give the girl making ...
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| dating brother in law | 12/18/2008 |
Q: My sister passed away several months ago and I want to know if it is acceptable to date my brother ...
A: If you two wish to date each other,that is your business and no one else's. For your own sake,you ...
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| X-Spouse vs girlfriend | 12/17/2008 |
Q: I am divorced and am currently living with my girlfriend. I have been with my girlfriend for several ...
A: It is in your best interest at this point to maintain as cordial a relationship with your ex-wife ...
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| Gifts after death | 12/17/2008 |
Q: My husband passed away 6 months ago. I received a Christmas card from an acquaintance which included ...
A: Why on Earth did they send you money? Please help me to understand the context so that I may advise ...
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| Christmas card to a recent widow | 12/17/2008 |
Q: Do you send a Christmas card to someone who has just lost her husband. What do you say inside? ...
A: You may say that you know that this first Christmas without Joe will be a difficult one for her and ...
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| newspaper birth announcement | 12/16/2008 |
Q: I am preparing my son's newspaper birth announcement. He was born in October of this year and my mom ...
A: Include them in the grandparents and great grandparents section but say "the late Jane Jones" and ...
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| etiquette when giving rides to others | 12/15/2008 |
Q: I would like to know the proper etiquette when a person offers to give you a ride and is going to ...
A: When someone is offering to give someone else a ride,it is general practice that they are acting in ...
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| Holiday Open House | 12/14/2008 |
Q: What is appropriate amount of time to stay at a holiday open house. Hours are 2 pm - 6 pm. My ...
A: It is appropriate to stay for as long as you wish. While most people do stop in for a half hour to ...
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| Address | 12/14/2008 |
Q: At what point do you stop using Master in an address? I.e. Master John Doe A friend stated when and ...
A: In America,the term Master is rarely used at all. Even by the 1930s it was considered pretentious to ...
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| Hosts music playlist. | 12/14/2008 |
Q: When I was at a former friend's home recently. I asked to play a certain song that was relevant to ...
A: I am very glad that you used the word 'former' in front of friend. No one has to put up with that ...
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| Long Term House Guest Expecations/Manners HELP NEEDED!! | 12/12/2008 |
Q: This is my second marriage. My new husband and I live in my (from previous marriage)/our/ home with ...
A: It is not too much to expect a family member and long term house guest to help. It sounds as if your ...
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| Announcing Pregnancy | 12/11/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are not quite 3 months pregnant and have asked our families to keep quiet until we ...
A: Use "I" language so as to get your feelings across without making the grandmothers defensive. Once ...
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| addressing envelop | 12/11/2008 |
Q: How do I address an envelope to a family where the Husband and his wife have different last names ...
A: Happy to help... Dr. Elizabeth Lewis Mr. Frederick Smith ...
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| Death of an acquantance's son | 12/11/2008 |
Q: I just found out 2 days ago that a girl I went to high school with lost her 14-year old son in an ...
A: What a terrible situation. Please write your friend a note and let her know what it is you hoping to ...
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| Attending estranged step-mother's mother funeral?? | 12/11/2008 |
Q: My step-mother's mother died today. I have not spoken to her in several years, despite another ...
A: If your sister would like you to come to the calling hours,then please do. I am going to assume that ...
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| Thank you notes | 12/10/2008 |
Q: Should a hostess send a thank you note when a gift is brought to a party?
A: If she has thanked the person for the gift at the time,she does not need to send a note unless she ...
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| use of Jr. and Sr. | 12/9/2008 |
Q: I read your answer about shifting a Jr. to Sr. after the death of the previous Sr. My question has ...
A: The suffixes are important and as the world gets more populated and more reliant on technology,it is ...
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| social hello/goodby | 12/9/2008 |
Q: need another opinion....went to party with fience was on call and had to leave early...upon ...
A: A hug or a kiss on the cheek is harmless enough as a general rule. Most Americans are comfortable ...
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| Christmas cards | 12/9/2008 |
Q: Should two adult sisters who are living together give out joint Christmas cards to relatives? If ...
A: They may send out joint cards or not as they wish. The sister would each sign their own name. ...
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| bridal tea etiquette | 12/7/2008 |
Q: My mother and I would like to host a "bridal tea" for my future sister in law. It is going to be a ...
A: There will still be an expectation by the guests to be invited to the wedding itself. It would be ...
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| in-law visits | 12/4/2008 |
Q: My son and daughter-in-law along with our one year old grand daughter are coming to visit for ...
A: Please speak to your son about this and tell him what you have told me. See how he views it and if ...
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| Overnight Company | 12/4/2008 |
Q: I feel a bit overwhelmed with overnight company. We do not have a guest bedroom. One of the ...
A: The only thing wrong with you is your (apparent) inability to say "No". Who are these people and ...
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| Christmas cards with child after divorce | 12/4/2008 |
Q: My ex-husband and I have been divorced for almost a year and we a a four year old son. His father ...
A: If we have learned nothing else from author and philanthropist Marlo Thomas,we have learned this ...
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| Why no acknowledgement from my family? | 12/4/2008 |
Q: I recently sent my cousin and her husband a floral tribute for my cousin's mother-in -law's funeral, ...
A: You get to say who is or isn't worth your time and attention. There are so many hours,days,months ...
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| RSVP | 12/4/2008 |
Q: Is it ever appropriate (space restrictions etc) to state after an RSVP, "anyone not replying will ...
A: If there are space restrictions you have invited too many people! There should always be room for ...
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| Mothers Death and Christmas cards | 12/2/2008 |
Q: My mother just passed away on 10/22/08 and I want to send out Christmas cards. I have a sister and ...
A: Please do not write 'in memory of' as that suggests that the Christmas cards themselves are a ...
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| 1st time Visiting Turkish boyfriend at Thanksgiving | 12/2/2008 |
Q: .. This was an awful situation. I took my Turkish boyfriend who has been in the states for 7 months ...
A: It amazes me that after your sister was treated so poorly by this cousin that you would still ...
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| Baby shower gift giving | 12/2/2008 |
Q: My name is Mary. I just had my only daughters baby shower. When we went back to her home, my ...
A: You are correct,a gift is a gift and the only appropriate response is to say thank you. We are ...
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| Christmas Open House | 12/2/2008 |
Q: I've been invited to my new boyfriend's parent's Christmas Open House. I'm wondering if I should ...
A: Please take nothing more than a small gift for your hosts. A box of chocolates or a bottle of wine ...
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| 70th birthday invitation and gifts | 12/2/2008 |
Q: My mother would like to receive gifts at her 70th birthday party, yet doesn't want to open them ...
A: Presents are never to be mentioned on an invitation. No one should be made to feel as if they must ...
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| rude hosts of a party | 12/1/2008 |
Q: This is a problem that has bothered me for years but I have never figured out the correct way to ...
A: Let it go. They were not good hosts,but what purpose can be served by telling them so? None. The ...
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| Wedding ring | 11/30/2008 |
Q: Im widowed and was wondering can you wear your wedding ring on another finger.Or should I just stop ...
A: The choice is yours to make. It is appropriate to keep wearing the rings as they are,move them to ...
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| Invittion for Dessert | 11/30/2008 |
Q: I have been invited for dessert (cake and ice cream) on my Father's birthday by his wife. The ...
A: She has the right to set the terms of the invitation. You have the right to decline the invitation ...
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| Open House Gift Opening Etiquette | 11/29/2008 |
Q: I am hosting an Meet and Greet Open House for my cousin and her husband who recently adopted a child ...
A: Please have a table close at hand for people to put any cards or gifts on. This will relieve your ...
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| How To confirm someone received your wedding gift | 11/29/2008 |
Q: I ordered a wedding gift for a coworker and had it shipped directly to their house - it has been ...
A: Say just that: "I hate to ask but I have been feeling a little apprehensive..did the people at UPS ...
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| tombstone "etiquette" inscriptions | 11/28/2008 |
Q: My in-laws ordered their pre-planned tombstone this year and I happened to attend a funeral at the ...
A: People use (and have for 100s of years) grave markers as a genealogical reference point. It is not ...
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| Party invitation-RSVP | 11/26/2008 |
Q: When inviting people to a party what is the proper procedure to follow up with close friends that ...
A: Jim, By all means give them a call. You don't have to make them feel guilty,of course,but there is ...
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| memorial service for the father of my kids | 11/25/2008 |
Q: he was 57 I am 48 The boys are 14 & 15 We lived with this man until we fled to a shelter ages 2 & 3 ...
A: Let someone else give the eulogy. Go to the service with the boys and yes,as you say,be civil. It ...
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| Staying with relatives at Christmas | 11/25/2008 |
Q: My brother and his family live about a five hour drive (in good traffic and ideal weather ...
A: No,there are no rules regarding having out of town guests for a holiday. Your brother is within his ...
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| spreading of ashes | 11/24/2008 |
Q: My mother died in August. We did not have a ceremony of any kind at that time even though many ...
A: Please forgive the tardy reply,I am not sure how this question slipped past me for so many days. ...
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| gift giving.out of town bat mitzvah | 11/24/2008 |
Q: I received an invitation for my first cousin's daughters Bat Mitzvah. We have recently moved out of ...
A: You are never required to give a gift in return for an invitation. Regardless of the event or ...
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| Running into people you know at social function | 11/23/2008 |
Q: I attended a wine tasting event with my boyfriend. While there, we ran into one of the cook's from ...
A: Nicole, No,you didn't screw up. No,he was not right to criticize you in public about this or ...
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| cutlery when meal has been finished | 11/23/2008 |
Q: I am a trainer for an airline and i was wondering when a guest finishes his meal what are the ways ...
A: Please do not tell people to do things "ASAP" when they are the ones doing you a favor. It is ...
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| wedding gifts displayed in home | 11/22/2008 |
Q: I am an interior decorator and home organizer. I have been asked to display wedding gifts in a ...
A: They are meant to be placed in a room or area that is not a high traffic spot. If there are two of ...
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| thanks giving dinner | 11/21/2008 |
Q: what is the proper time for thanksgiving dinner
A: When the turkey is done. Best regards, ...
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| baby shower group gift thank you | 11/20/2008 |
Q: I received a gift card from my co-workers as a baby shower gift. Since it was from a group of ...
A: Please write a general note of thanks to the entire group and place it or post it in an area that ...
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| Birthday invitation - no gifts please | 11/19/2008 |
Q: my husband and I are invited to a 70th birthday party at a pricey restaurant. The invitation said ...
A: Please honor their request and go without a present. I am sure that your hosts feel that having you ...
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| Engagement ring | 11/18/2008 |
Q: My daughter and her boyfriend want to get engaged. They don't have allot of money for a nice ...
A: This is a lovely and generous offer. Please speak to your daughter as this is a family heirloom. ...
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| Sympathey Card | 11/17/2008 |
Q: I know to use "Mrs." on the envelope, but do I use my niece's first name or her newly passed ...
A: It is appropriate to call her Mrs. John Doe until she remarries or indicates that she wishes to be ...
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| Engagement Party list | 11/17/2008 |
Q: My family and I threw an engagement party for a close family friend's daughter. As is the custom ...
A: No,you were correct. If your in-laws do not know the couple and are not likely to be invited to the ...
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| Fast food drive up | 11/16/2008 |
Q: I am an order taker at a world wide fast food chain and I don' know how to handle people on ...
A: I loved your question. There is little doubt that this job is one you won't be staying with long. ...
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| Name | 11/16/2008 |
Q: I have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year. He insists on having his kids, 7 and ...
A: Anyone under the age of 21 should address you by your honorific, especially if their parent is ...
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| Mother of Groom | 11/13/2008 |
Q: For an evening wedding does it make a difference if the motehr of groom wears sandals or closed ...
A: The word "sandal" covers a multitude of styles. But I am going to assume you aren't talking about ...
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| Stillborn Etiquette | 11/12/2008 |
Q: One of my health care providers has suffered the terrible loss of a newborn. The baby was full ...
A: She probably won't wish to talk about something so personal and painful once she returns to the work ...
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| addressing family with different last names | 11/12/2008 |
Q: I have a son from a previous marriage who has a different last name than I and my current husband ...
A: You may sign simply "Tom,Nancy,Justin and Amy" on the bottom of the greeting cards and 742 Evergreen ...
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| funeral ettiquette | 11/11/2008 |
Q: My children's grandmother just passed away, her son and I are estranged and he doesn't see or take ...
A: The children's father's wishes should be considered at this time. They are still his children and as ...
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| Thanksgiving | 11/11/2008 |
Q: For the past 3 years my girlfriend, her husband and two children have been invited to our home for ...
A: Please go ahead and give her a call but wait for her to mention Thanksgiving. With any luck,she will ...
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| food at work | 11/7/2008 |
Q: A co-worker of mine frequently brings homemade baked goods and keeps them at her desk for all to ...
A: It's a little weird and sad to have a private club where you only serve cake to co-workers you ...
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| Christmas Cards | 11/6/2008 |
Q: When I moved out on my own, I sent Christmas cards to my friends and family simply from me. Now I've ...
A: Go ahead and send the cards jointly. Everyone on your list knows you are living together,correct? ...
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| Giving a gift to then find out its not wanted. | 11/6/2008 |
Q: wondered whether you can kindly offer some advice on the correct social etiquette in the following ...
A: Gracious! What a mess. This friend of your Mum's doesn't sound like a very nice person. She has no ...
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| Thank you notes when you return a gift | 11/6/2008 |
Q: My Mother-in-law bought me an article of clothing for my birthday. I appreciate the time she took ...
A: Say nothing except thank you when writing the note. You don't have to lie,but there is no reason to ...
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| 50th wedding anniversary newspaper article | 11/5/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have 3 children from our marriage and I helped rear my 3 step children. What is ...
A: After 50 years,you get to claim them as your children if you wish. If you are afraid the (adult) ...
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| 40th Bday | 11/3/2008 |
Q: Is it appropriate to have a 40th bday celebration or is the BIG 50 more appropriate to wait for?
A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for almost any reason. There is no birthday that is 'more ...
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| Thank you cards | 11/3/2008 |
Q: I received a couple birthday cards in the mail from my in-laws. Should I send a thank you card in ...
A: While it is not necessary to send a thank you note for a greeting card,it is not inappropriate. Why ...
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| lady at church | 11/2/2008 |
Q: I am not sure if this is an etiquette question but this is as close as I can find on this website ...
A: Well..clearly she's on the run from the law. Kidding,but no,you are correct,her behavior was strange ...
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| Wording for party invitation | 11/1/2008 |
Q: We are hosting a Christmas party for my husband's work. How can we word the invitation not to bring ...
A: You are correct,to whom the card is addressed tells the tale of who is expected. Please spread the ...
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| Party for a young man that graduated Coast Guard Basic Training | 10/31/2008 |
Q: We were invited to a congratulation party for the son of our friends. The party is a celebration of ...
A: Your instincts are correct. This party is more about having his friends and family together in one ...
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| Family Christmas gift exchange | 10/31/2008 |
Q: For the last several years we have exchanged Christmas gifts with our brothers and sisters families ...
A: If this is your wife's sister you are speaking of,please have your wife speak to her sibling. ...
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| Define "Hosted By" | 10/30/2008 |
Q: When someone sends you an invitation to a luncheon and it says "Hosted By Cathy", does that mean ...
A: Yes,you are absolutely correct. The term she wants is 'party promoter'. No one should be required to ...
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| thank you note for clothes that don't fit | 10/30/2008 |
Q: I received a birthday gift of clothes from some close family members. The clothes do not fit, and ...
A: Please just write a thank you note. You don't have to lie, but you don't have to tell the whole ...
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| joint birthday party | 10/29/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are about to celebrate our only child's 1st birthday next weekend. We are having a ...
A: Nip this in the bud,please. You are not required to hold joint birthday parties if you do not wish ...
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| future step-grandparents etiquette | 10/28/2008 |
Q: My daughter (in another state) is divorced with a 2 year-old child and is engaged to an individual ...
A: Please ask your daughter what she (and her husband) would like to have the 3 year old call you. Have ...
|
| Ph.D Graduation Announcement | 10/28/2008 |
Q: Our 28-year-old daughter is graduating with her Ph.D. in about 6 weeks. We would like to send ...
A: Congratulations! Yes,by all means send out announcements after your daughter graduates. ...
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| wedding invitations | 10/27/2008 |
Q: We are church ministers for over 50 years. Our grandaughter is getting married. Because we have kept ...
A: Please send the former cogregants a wedding announcement after the ceremony takes place. An ...
|
| Throwing your own 50th Birthday Party | 10/26/2008 |
Q: I will be turning 50 in just over a month. Though I know someone in my family or a close friend will ...
A: Anyone can throw a party for any reason and at any time. This is not an ego trip for you,you ...
|
| Mother in law | 10/26/2008 |
Q: How many times a week should you call your mother in law?
A: It is appropriate to call your Mother in Law anywhere from zero to 100 times a week. It depends ...
|
| Questions about black-tie gala | 10/26/2008 |
Q: I am 28 years old and a freshman at a state university and was given an admissions scholarship by my ...
A: Congratulations! Please do not stand around waiting for someone to speak to you. As you are an ...
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| Wedding Etiquette with divorced parents | 10/24/2008 |
Q: I'm throwing a wedding shower for my friend "Misha." She is the only daughter of a long and ...
A: As you are the hostess of this shower,you should refuse to take money from either parent. Please ...
|
| University Invitations | 10/24/2008 |
Q: I am the new first lady of a university and will be sending out a couple of thousand invitations for ...
A: You are in the odd position of having a party that is a cross between business and social events. ...
|
| Sympathy Etiquette | 10/22/2008 |
Q: What is etiquette (sympathy) when a cousin passes away? Should a card be sent to remaining family ...
A: Please write a short note expressing your sympathy to these remaining family members. The ...
|
| A Planned Social Gathering | 10/21/2008 |
Q: A while ago I hosted a party for a sporting event. I supplied all of the Food, and all of the ...
A: A host never throws a party that he cannot afford. Charging people no longer makes them guests,it ...
|
| Answering Questions with Questions | 10/21/2008 |
Q: I was recently told it was rude to answer a question with a question. I am a slightly sarcastic and ...
A: No,it is not always rude to answer a question with a question. It depends on the question and the ...
|
| Birthday Dinner | 10/21/2008 |
Q: I'm 48 years old, and married, so birthday's don't mean much. But my brother and his wife would like ...
A: As she was the hostess,it was up to her to decide whom to invite. She was being very considerate by ...
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| birthday gifts for my children | 10/20/2008 |
Q: I feel that even though her mother my husbands sister buys she is also obligated to buy for my ...
A: We should all buy gifts for people because we want to and should never expect anything in return. ...
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| how do I comfort my daughter inn law | 10/19/2008 |
Q: My daughter in law just lost her father her mother is already gone how can I or should I try to give ...
A: Tell her how sorry you are for her loss,explain that you don't know how vest to help her during this ...
|
| sons treating us as guests? | 10/19/2008 |
Q: My question is,, should your father and mother be concidered guests? My son insists on refering to ...
A: This is the first time I have gotten this question. Usually (and frequently) I get parents or adult ...
|
| introducting people | 10/18/2008 |
Q: When is okay not to introduce people to one another? I was just in a situation that and now I feel ...
A: It's a hard call sometimes as to when to introduce people to each other and when not to. You did ...
|
| what is best to recognize this marriage | 10/17/2008 |
Q: My brother met his now fiance on a Ukrainian Bride web site two years ago. She is now cleared to ...
A: What would make you feel most welcome were the situation reversed? A wedding reception,even if it is ...
|
| Graduation announcements | 10/17/2008 |
Q: My daughter is graduating from college soon. Space at the ceremony is limited. Do you only send ...
A: Announcements and invitations are two different things. An announcement is sent after an event ...
|
| civilians addressing military personnel in the workplace | 10/16/2008 |
Q: I work for a public university. A new leader was recently appointed to my unit. He is a retired ...
A: Please use his honorific unless he asks you to do otherwise. We call our physicians,elected ...
|
| Thank you notes | 10/15/2008 |
Q: I wanted to know what the standard time line is for sending out "thank you's" for different gifts ...
A: When you write the notes,thank the recipient for as many different things on behalf as many ...
|
| Kindergarten Invitation | 10/14/2008 |
Q: My 5 year old daughter received an invitation to a classmate's birthday party. In the list of usual ...
A: What is the world coming to? No,it is never appropriate to mention gifts in any way on an ...
|
| Leave a patial bottle or not | 10/12/2008 |
Q: A friend of mine recently invited me over to her apartment. She said she would cook dinner, and ...
A: I hope for your sake she's pretty,because she sure doesn't sound very nice. If you take a bottle ...
|
| football game manners | 10/12/2008 |
Q: How should a parent move a toddler into & out of stadium seats? The width between the two rows is ...
A: It is up to the parent to decide how best to get their child from point A to point B. On the face of ...
|
| white on cruise ships | 10/11/2008 |
Q: Help settle a friendly disagreement between my partner and myself. I maintain that the "No white ...
A: In 1819,the ship Thaddeus set sail from Boston headed for Hawaii. The good Christian missionaries ...
|
| 70th birthday guest list | 10/11/2008 |
Q: My siblings and I are planning a 70th birthday party for our mom. Our neice felt slighted that her ...
A: You are correct in not wanting to play hostess to strangers. This isn't the day for it. If it were a ...
|
| motherinlaw and divorce | 10/10/2008 |
Q: my son is in the divorce process which is a bit messy :-( his ex to be still emails me once in a ...
A: Please do what you feel is best for you in this situation. You are best able to determine her ...
|
| B'nai Mitzvah invitation reply wording | 10/9/2008 |
Q: we have been invited to a very formal B'nai Mitzvah. We would like to send a more personal note in ...
A: Please send the celebrant the personal note of congratulation under separate cover. Did that answer ...
|
| Bar Mitzvah Gift | 10/9/2008 |
Q: My son is invited to a Bar Mitzvah for triplets. He is friends with one but obviously knows the ...
A: Please give gifts to all three of the brothers. Money and incomes are relative things. Only you and ...
|
| Baby Shower | 10/8/2008 |
Q: I am 4 months pregnant and my best friend just found out she was pregnant a month ago. My friend ...
A: A woman is given a shower by her friends. It was originally meant to be a simple gathering at which ...
|
| business party invitation | 10/8/2008 |
Q: We are hosting a company Christmas party at a new facility this year. As this is a more upscale ...
A: Decide on the dress code for this party (i.e. cocktail,business casual,etc.) and include it on the ...
|
| Thank you notes | 10/8/2008 |
Q: I wanted to know what the standard time line is for sending out "thank you's" for different gifts ...
A: Andrea, The truly courteous thing to do is to write the thank you notes for gifts as soon as you ...
|
| Dresses for evening wear at a resort | 10/8/2008 |
Q: The question is: What dresses be appropriate for a office conference at a resort. We are advised ...
A: As you are allergic to the salt water and probably sensitive to the sun,why not get some linen ...
|
| Speaker etiquette | 10/7/2008 |
Q: Twice in the last several years I have attended events associated with adult alumni at which a ...
A: Yes,someone,even if it was an audience member should have stood up and said "Mr. X,you were invited ...
|
| engagement party gift | 10/7/2008 |
Q: As the mother of the bride, what is an appropriate engagement party gift? I feel like money is too ...
A: Then you know all too well that you were grossly underpaid for one of the most influential and ...
|
| grown children and step-families | 10/6/2008 |
Q: Gamble, My question is how should I acknowledge my mother's husband. I am 19 and live at college ...
A: Well..your question has a contradiction in it that troubles me. First you say that your mother was ...
|
| engagement party gift | 10/6/2008 |
Q: As the mother of the bride, what is an appropriate engagement party gift? I feel like money is too ...
A: There is no way for me to answer this question. Retired from the board of a Fortune 500 company or ...
|
| death | 10/6/2008 |
Q: i recently began seeing a very nice gentleman. we have only had two dates and they were both very ...
A: Do not send a text message. Have you tried to look up this woman's obituary on line? If you know ...
|
| ExHusband passed away | 10/4/2008 |
Q: I just have a simple question (maybe). I received a phone call this morning from my brother who ...
A: It would absolutely be appropriate to send a card or flowers to either his wife,his mother or both. ...
|
| Recital Etiquette | 10/4/2008 |
Q: We have been invited to a Senior voice recital. Do we bring a gift as a congratulations? If so ...
A: You do not have to bring a gift,but if you wish to give the student a note of congratulation or ...
|
| Baby Shower | 10/4/2008 |
Q: Is it appropriate for me, the future grandmother, to host a baby shower for my daughter if the only ...
A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for nearly any reason. Showers are meant to be given by the ...
|
| addressing married couple-dr. & mr. | 10/2/2008 |
Q: I am going to a wedding that is for Dr. Courtney Williams and Anthony McCracken. How do I address ...
A: Unless she chooses otherwise,she will be Mrs. Anthony McCracken socially. If she is taking his ...
|
| Social Conversation | 10/2/2008 |
Q: My wife's brother and his companion were recently at our home for cocktails and dinner. During ...
A: Aversion therapy administered via shock collars. (Available at any better pet or tractor supply ...
|
| Concert Tickets | 10/1/2008 |
Q: I bought 4 tickets to see my favorite band. One was for me, one for my friend Darren, and two more ...
A: While I understand what your intent was,the bottom line is that you sold the tickets to your friend. ...
|
| rsvp etiquette | 10/1/2008 |
Q: My sisterinlaw makes a luncheon at her house every fall to get the family together. The family has ...
A: It is time to give your sister in law a new address book. Complete with the addresses,e-mails and ...
|
| Retirement Luncheon Invitation | 9/29/2008 |
Q: I work in a protocol office. We have been asked to compose and mail formal invitations to a ...
A: You are absolutely correct. No one should ever have to 'pay for the privilege' of being invited as ...
|
| No gifts please | 9/29/2008 |
Q: My husband and I recently renewed our vows. With the invitation I had a card that read: The ...
A: No,your Mother's friend is quite wrong. No gifts means no gifts. It doesn't get much plainer than ...
|
| Married couples with different names | 9/28/2008 |
Q: What is the correct way to address an invitation to a married couple with different last names. Is ...
A: Trick question! A woman is never properly known by her given name with the honorific 'Mrs' in front ...
|
| desperately need advise/ encroaching priest | 9/25/2008 |
Q: This is a real dilemma for our family. We have moved to a different part of Texas and built a home ...
A: You are not responsible for him. End of story. Please tell him that it is just not possible for him ...
|
| 90th Bday Reception/Party | 9/24/2008 |
Q: My Mothers 90th birthday is upcoming, and expressed to my family I would like to do a "reception" ...
A: You shouldn't give two seconds of thought to what your brothers' vision for the party is! Fried ...
|
| people staying at our house uninvited and rent free | 9/24/2008 |
Q: We have recently purchased a house ultimately at which both our sons will live whilst attending ...
A: These are YOUR sons. You are allowed to get down to brass tacks with them. Decide what you feel is ...
|
| obituary of death of mother-in-law | 9/23/2008 |
Q: My mother-in-law passed away. Her son and I have been separated for 4 years (married 19), have 3 ...
A: It is not inappropriate,but it is the family's choice. The editor of the obituary column is given ...
|
| Halloween Party | 9/22/2008 |
Q: I am thinking about hosting a "halloween party" for my kids. Our neighborhood is very large and ...
A: So,if it rains the kids are out of luck completely? That's no fun. Better not to plan the party at ...
|
| Where do I draw the line - invites to husband's surprise 40th | 9/22/2008 |
Q: I am unsure as to where to draw the line as to who gets invited to my husband's surprise party that ...
A: This is a problem for hostesses from London to Bombay. Not to worry. You can not invite everyone. ...
|
| Retract holiday invitation | 9/20/2008 |
Q: I invited a family for Thanksgiving about 2 weeks ago, and haven't received a response. I feel like ...
A: If you are going to take the trouble to call and retract the invitation,why not just say instead ...
|
| Boyfriends daughters baby shower | 9/19/2008 |
Q: My boyfriends ex wife is having a baby shower for their 23 year old daughter whom I have met a ...
A: You are always entitled to your feelings. We're human beings,we cannot help having negative emotions ...
|
| Children's Birthday Party Etiquette | 9/19/2008 |
Q: My children all have their birthdays in the same week. Calvin will be 7 on October 17, Maia will be ...
A: It is never appropriate to mention gifts in any way on an invitation. No one ever should be made to ...
|
| Transfering | 9/18/2008 |
Q: I currently work for a wine, beer and liquor distributor in Arizona but my boyfriend just moved to ...
A: You are entitled to a personal life. If you have found happiness with this man,congratulations,damn ...
|
| lending out your things | 9/18/2008 |
Q: I lent my trailer to my son to move a bed to his place he said he also had to do a tip run, the ...
A: No,it is not unreasonable to expect your adult son to treat you with common courtesy. You did him a ...
|
| Need to cancel a family commitment | 9/16/2008 |
Q: I have a step niece in New Jersey who is having her Bat Mitzvah this weekend. We committed to come ...
A: Please have your son write a note of congratulations to his step cousin and let that be his ...
|
| Dining Out When Someone Else Pays | 9/14/2008 |
Q: When a person, we'll call "the guest" has been invited out to eat by someone who is paying the bill, ...
A: It is quite the opposite. The guest orders first since they are the ones being treated to the meal. ...
|
| proper technique with a fork | 9/13/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are in disagreement regarding the proper use of a fork while dining. He think it ...
A: "Switching hands" is the correct way to dine in America. I am not going to be critical of your ...
|
| proper hostess etiquette | 9/12/2008 |
Q: my question is , in other words since my boyfriend had to work for 3 days and I was home with his ...
A: Would it have been nice if they had? Yes,of course. Their son's guest is their guest. However,you ...
|
| husband's ex wife | 9/12/2008 |
Q: My husband's ex wife is terminally ill and has been given just weeks to live. Together they have ...
A: This is a fine line you are going to have to walk. Going to the funeral may be seen as disrespectful ...
|
| Out of town guests in our home | 9/10/2008 |
Q: Amanda, My husband and I are inviting three couples and there children (4 total) to come into town ...
A: Stay in your own bedroom,please. It cuts down on the confusion and besides,which couple do you pick? ...
|
| pictures | 9/9/2008 |
Q: I was brought up in the south and there are very defined ettique rules. I live in California now ...
A: Please display the photographs where you will most enjoy seeing them. It would only be in poor taste ...
|
| engagement | 9/9/2008 |
Q: My son just called and said he proposed to his girlfriend, she accepted but there is no wedding date ...
A: Please call the parents of your future daughter in law right away. If it is possible to have dinner ...
|
| Awkward gift situation - kids | 9/8/2008 |
Q: My son and his best friend have birthdays a day apart. We have known the family since the boys were ...
A: As you offered to 'pay your share' on more than one occasion and were turned down,they probably ...
|
| upon death of spouse when to remove wedding ring | 8/22/2008 |
Q: How soon after the death of a spouse it is considered "proper" to remove one's wedding ring?
A: The surviving spouse may take off the ring right away (some people insist that it be buried with ...
|
| baby showers and grandmothers | 8/21/2008 |
Q: Our daughter will have two baby-showers, one thrown by our side of the family and one by her ...
A: Your wife is not obliged to go to both showers. She did not have enough advance notice for the ...
|
| bridal shower hostess gifts | 8/20/2008 |
Q: I just recently had a bridal shower given for me. Well, I just heard from a few coworkers that I ...
A: No,the guest of honor at a shower does not give gifts,she gets them. Write each of your hostesses a ...
|
| house guests | 8/20/2008 |
Q: I just finished having my sister-in-law and her 3 kids (10, 5,and 1) stay with my husband and my 2 ...
A: Having good manners is a two way street. You certainly have the right to a quiet work ...
|
| Guests Inviting Guests | 8/18/2008 |
Q: Ms. Gamble - Recently, a friend of mine sent out an invitation to a few people, including me, ...
A: Call for clarification on this one. A breezy "..invite whomever you want.." could be interpreted as ...
|
| appropriate color for a female guest to wear to a debutante ball... | 8/18/2008 |
Q: My daughter was invited to a debutante ball. She has an elegant floor length gown, the color of ...
A: If your daughter is over thirty,she may wear it. If she is a peer of the debutante,she should find ...
|
| Problems with a neighbour not saying thank you. | 8/18/2008 |
Q: I have a neighbour who has recently moved in and is very unfriendly. I live in a studio flat on my ...
A: Not to worry,you don't sound like a victim. Not enough whining. It is not unreasonable for your ...
|
| Question | 8/17/2008 |
Q: I am planning on asking 8 or 9 of my husband's close friends to dinner for his 40th birthday at a ...
A: Short answer,you don't. A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. If you can only give ...
|
| Funeral Etiquette | 8/16/2008 |
Q: My ex-husband of 25 years' mother died. The reason for our divorce was that he was having an affair ...
A: If you were close to your former mother-in-law and truly wish to go express your sympathy to the ...
|
| male-female ordering etiquette | 8/13/2008 |
Q: Who is generally expected to order first in a restaurant, the man or woman? I find the ...
A: If you are unhappy,please speak up. You should order first and should not have to 'go dutch' when ...
|
| Housewarming ! | 8/12/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are having a housewarming. We have been married for four years and are pretty much ...
A: It is never correct to mention gifts in any way on an invitation. To do so is to tell people that ...
|
| issue with addressing people by their names! | 8/10/2008 |
Q: My mom has an issue with people who don't use her name (at least occasionally) when talking to her ...
A: Your mother can do nothing more than she already has. She has asked that her future daughter in law ...
|
| family vacation | 8/9/2008 |
Q: My family is taking a vacation together and we decided to rent a beach house. Now, there are 7 ...
A: Get a common concensus among the other families as to what "IS" a family unit. Any adult who has ...
|
| social stationary uses | 8/8/2008 |
Q: lately i have been receiving correspondence cards where the sender has run a quick pen line thru ...
A: Crossing your name out is for friends and family only. People you are on a 'first name basis' with. ...
|
| social stationary uses | 8/7/2008 |
Q: lately i have been receiving correspondence cards where the sender has run a quick pen line thru ...
A: Old,old custom. It shows that the letter or note has been written by the person and to a friend or ...
|
| Wedding Reception | 8/7/2008 |
Q: We are caterers. our bartender brought his daughter to a function where the only children present ...
A: Unless the child was unruly or eating her weight in cake,go with the basic 'babysitting' rate for ...
|
| Adult children relationship to parent's spouse | 8/5/2008 |
Q: My ex-husband remarried when our sons were in their teens, to a woman who never wanted to be a ...
A: The key phrase here is "the children are adult". Meaning they know perfectly well who did and did ...
|
| Addressing Envelopes Etiquette | 8/5/2008 |
Q: I am in the process of sending out invitations for my Dad's 60th surprise party, however, I am ...
A: Don't be nervous. Make a phone call to the couple that lives together and simply ask. Apologize and ...
|
| Card wordings | 8/5/2008 |
Q: I wanted to give a card to a coworker who will be having a major surgery in two weeks. I can't seem ...
A: Good call,most 'get well' cards are either too cheerful or too grim,no middle ground. Dear Tom, ...
|
| broken engagement | 8/4/2008 |
Q: My daughter's fiancee' called off their June wedding back in January. They have spent several months ...
A: Your daughter and her young man received gifts to celebrate their engagement,which did indeed ...
|
| Lab Coat Etiquette | 8/4/2008 |
Q: Are long lab coats for MDs only? I am an RN, and a Diabetes Education Coordinator and ordered a ...
A: On this subject I defer to my sister,Anne Gamble,RN This is from a conversation with her after I ...
|
| no gifts please at wedding party | 8/4/2008 |
Q: We are having a party to celebrate our wedding, about 6 weeks after the ceremony. We are both 60, ...
A: You are correct,gifts are never to be mentioned in any way,shape or form on an invitation. It ...
|
| Seating | 8/4/2008 |
Q: When dinning out should couples sit across from each other? For example in a booth. Should the ...
A: A couple may sit on the same side of the booth when (and only when) their ties to organized crime ...
|
| Apartment etiquette during campaign season | 8/3/2008 |
Q: Amanda: I live on the third floor of a five-floor walkup in New York, and I'm a supporter of Barack ...
A: As long as placing something semi-permanent on your door doesn't violate the terms of your lease,go ...
|
| business cards - when there is no business | 8/2/2008 |
Q: I am between teaching positions as I work on my doctoral dissertation, what information should be ...
A: As these are for 'networking' purposes,please include any information that you feel is relevant. ...
|
| new neighbor's and fence | 8/1/2008 |
Q: first I would like to thank you for taking time to read this I will try to be brief but also ...
A: First arm yourself with the facts,then go speak to her or write her a letter. Where are the property ...
|
| Dating a Widow | 7/30/2008 |
Q: How does one know when is the appropriate time to approach a women who has been widowed? I have been ...
A: It is still considered appropriate to give a widow or widower a full year before expecting them to ...
|
| birthday gifts | 7/30/2008 |
Q: My son is have a rather large birthday party and we do not feel that he needs anymore gifts/toys. I ...
A: Smith, Normally,presents are never mentioned on an invitation in any way,shape or form. ...
|
| Wedding Seating | 7/29/2008 |
Q: My brother is getting married in a few weeks and I was just informed that I will be sitting away ...
A: Speak to your brother calmly and tell him how this seating plan makes you feel. It may not change ...
|
| being kick all the time | 7/29/2008 |
Q: i dated a girl that work in another department now she date my boss. i dumped her and i assume she ...
A: Begin looking for a new job or keep your head down until this storm blows over. He won't be able to ...
|
| Friend's Birthday Party | 7/28/2008 |
Q: I just co-hosted a birthday party for a friend at my house. I put much of the party together and ...
A: Please go ahead and say something. "Hope,thank you so much for co-hosting Jane's birthday party with ...
|
| dinner guest inviting another guest | 7/28/2008 |
Q: so dinner will be their treat. When I mentioned the dinner in front of the boyfriend's 14 year old ...
A: Please do not put your hosts in an awkward position by asking if the child can tag along. At 14 he ...
|
| 50th wedding anniversary | 7/25/2008 |
Q: My in-laws will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in Sept. 2009. They have 5 children. ...
A: When you and your husband married,you each left your families to form a new one. Your primary duty ...
|
| Mother In-Law Gift Etiquette When She's Visiting | 7/24/2008 |
Q: My wife is very close with her mom, and I have the perfect relationship with my Mother In-Law since ...
A: Oh Gary,Gary,Gary... Have you ever heard the saying "You can be right or you can be happy"? ...
|
| Etiquette concering ex | 7/24/2008 |
Q: My fiance has 2 grown children and 5 grandchildren. When the grandchildren have birthday parties or ...
A: It sounds as if you need to have a heart to heart talk with your fiance. I did not realize that he ...
|
| Do I give a gift for the shower and wedding? | 7/23/2008 |
Q: My step-nephew is getting married for the second time (I attended the first wedding, but was not ...
A: Dead Diane, You are never required to give a gift for any celebration. No one ever has to pay for ...
|
| 50th wedding anniversary gift | 7/23/2008 |
Q: We have been invited to a 50th wedding anniversary for parents of relatively close friends. Should ...
A: After 50 years of marriage,they have probably accumulated all of the "stuff" they need. You are not ...
|
| 60th anniversary dinner | 7/23/2008 |
Q: My husband and his siblings are going to have a 60th anniv. dinner for their parents at a nice ...
A: No one should ever be required to pay for the privilege of being invited as a guest. Please consider ...
|
| wedding invite | 7/22/2008 |
Q: I am invited to my cousins wedding however my 6 year old daughters soccer final and award ceremony ...
A: Explain the situation to your cousin so that there will be no room for misunderstanding or hurt ...
|
| social dinner invite | 7/22/2008 |
Q: I am having a bbq dinner and inviting an associate/friend. I don't know if he has a significant ...
A: No need to overly worry about it. Just write something like this: Dear Tom, Pat and I are ...
|
| Houseguests | 7/22/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have a vacation home. Each of the past 3 years, long-time friends of ours have ...
A: Good heavens no. It's your home and you may have whomever you like come to stay,especially family. ...
|
| Etiquette for death of daughter's friends Father | 7/21/2008 |
Q: The father of my 11 year old daughter's friend, whose parents were recently divorced (NOT amicably), ...
A: Direct your flowers or notes of condolence to the child. She has suffered terribly with this divorce ...
|
| Etiquette concering ex | 7/21/2008 |
Q: My fiance has 2 grown children and 5 grandchildren. When the grandchildren have birthday parties or ...
A: As you are planning on marrying this man,please do what you can to establish and maintain a good ...
|
| Is it too much to ask of my "house guest" that he let me know when he will be around or not? | 7/21/2008 |
Q: I have a friend staying with me. He stayed with me recently for close to 2 months prior to going ...
A: First off,you are a SAINT. Two months of that with nary a word? In a studio apartment? Now he's back ...
|
| Gift for Eagle Scout ceremony | 7/21/2008 |
Q: My husbands nephew,whom we rarely see will be receiving his eagle scout next weekend, is it proper ...
A: Appropriate,but not expected. In other words,only give the nephew something if you really want to. ...
|
| protocol in attending bridal showers | 7/20/2008 |
Q: I am invited to my girlfriend's son's wedding. I have purchased a gift certificate, advice received ...
A: You are right not to wish to be roped into paying for this party. A hostess should never give a ...
|
| Baby #2 and kids are not 2 years apart | 7/20/2008 |
Q: One of my best friends is pregnant with number 2. She just registered and is wanting a big shower ...
A: A woman should never ask for or even hint that she wants or expects a party given in her honor. ...
|
| failed adoption | 7/19/2008 |
Q: I have a dear friend who less than 24 hours after bringing her newly adopted son home, received a ...
A: Letting her know that you are thinking of her would be kind. While there is nothing you can say or ...
|
| wedding gift | 7/18/2008 |
Q: How much money is appropriate these days to give at a wedding? This is a close friends daughter. ...
A: As I do not know you or your financial situation,I cannot answer your question. Two dollars might ...
|
| WEDDING GIFT | 7/16/2008 |
Q: It's been so long...do I remember the wedding gift is sent to the bride before the wedding? We're ...
A: Yes,please do mail the check to the bride at her home and make it out to her with her maiden name. ...
|
| Bridal Shower | 7/15/2008 |
Q: As matron of honor in my friends wedding, I am hosting the bridal shower. Do I need to give a gift ...
A: Please get her a token gift at the very least. I understand that you will be spending time,energy ...
|
| Bridal shower gift | 7/15/2008 |
Q: A friend of mine invited me to her bridal shower. My question is, should I buy a gift from the ...
A: A registry may be looked upon as a list of suggestions. You do not need to follow it at all. If the ...
|
| wedding venue | 7/15/2008 |
Q: My daughter is engaged and living with her fiance in Atlanta. My husband and I live in the DC ...
A: As you know a bride is traditionally married in her hometown. Even as few as fifty years ago a ...
|
| 25th wedding anniversary | 7/14/2008 |
Q: my sister and I are planning my parents 25th wedding anniversary. our budget is pretty tight...so we ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. The friends and family who will be there to ...
|
| holiday visiting etiquette | 7/11/2008 |
Q: My son and daugther in law have been married for 3 years. They live 4 hours away. We invite them ...
A: It sounds as if it is time for your husband to have a heart to heart talk with your son. There is a ...
|
| Mom's 75th Birthday Party | 7/10/2008 |
Q: We would like to have a money tree at my Mom's 75th birthday party because at her age, what do they ...
A: There is never a polite way to ask for gifts. An invitation shouldn't ask that the recipient 'pay ...
|
| Parents | 7/10/2008 |
Q: I have a tiny efficiency apartment in New York and my parents want to visit for a few days. When I ...
A: No it was not wrong to suggest that they stay in a hotel. You do it saying "No,I won't hear of you ...
|
| houseguest | 7/9/2008 |
Q: My daughter is a full time college student home for the summer. Her boyfriend, a full-time out of ...
A: If you have spoken to her about her role and responsibilities are towards the family and all she can ...
|
| etiquette - bat mitzvah addresses | 7/7/2008 |
Q: When doing a Bar/Bat Mitzvah these days, it's fairly commonplace to invite only one parent (usually ...
A: Please address her as "Mrs John Doe". It is never correct to use a woman's given first name with ...
|
| thanks to neighbors | 7/6/2008 |
Q: My cul-de-sac neighbors recently hosted a party for my family complete with gifts. I have about 15 ...
A: If you have gone to the trouble to write notes to each person (or family) please follow through by ...
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| wedding gifts | 7/4/2008 |
Q: What is the proper gift/ behavior for a partially estranged father at his sons wedding? The step ...
A: If he (the biological father) is invited to be at his son's wedding,he is no different than any ...
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| how to address a sympathy card | 7/3/2008 |
Q: I worked with a gentleman who passed away and would like to send a card to his wife. Should I write ...
A: She properly remains Mrs John Doe until she remarries or dies. It does matter (although the ...
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| Retirement party | 7/2/2008 |
Q: We have an employee retiring after 38 years of service. When we send the invitation to her ...
A: Either speak to her or write her a note. Dear Janet, On July 3,we are planning to hold a ...
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| 50th Anniversary party | 6/30/2008 |
Q: My in-laws have been talking about having a 50th Anniversary party this August. The last time it ...
A: Oh good heavens. What are you? A mind reader? Why didn't your father in law take your husband aside ...
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| wedding question | 6/30/2008 |
Q: I have a question about wedding etiquette. I am my sister's matron of honor- she also has a maid of ...
A: Unless your sister is having a very formal wedding reception, there is no reason you can't sit next ...
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| Family visitors from out of the country | 6/29/2008 |
Q: My brother and sister in law moved out of the country within the past year to a lower cost area. ...
A: Well..there isn't much more that can be said,is there? You have already come to the conclusion ...
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| wording for a party invitation | 6/28/2008 |
Q: I am planning a get together for my husband's 40th, at a nice restaurant I need to know how to word ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. To ask people to pay for their own dinners is ...
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| Bridal Shower Gifts | 6/27/2008 |
Q: Is is appropriate to give a bride a gift at her bridal shower which is listed on her wedding ...
A: Please go ahead and pick an item off of her registry if you wish. Since the things listed were ...
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| 4th of July Party | 6/27/2008 |
Q: I'm hosting a very small 4th of July cocktail/dinner party. After accepting our invitation, a ...
A: Please tell your friend what you have told me,that this is a very small dinner party and the guest ...
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| proper etiquette for greeting dignitaries | 6/7/2008 |
Q: I'm doing a little research trying to figure out the proper way to greet dignitaries from various ...
A: No,I am sorry I can't tell you of any particular title. If you have any specific country and ...
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| Birthday and Retirement Celebrations | 6/5/2008 |
Q: My co-workers are celebrating certain birthdays in our office. They decide on the date, place, and ...
A: Are you in a position to change the policy? If you are,do so right away. If not,then take it upon ...
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| formal dinner | 6/5/2008 |
Q: I know that the forks are on my left and the knives are on my right, and I know that you eat dinner ...
A: Your fork should be in your dominant hand. If your utensils are stainless steel you may cut the ...
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| gift for graduation of boss' son | 6/4/2008 |
Q: I just received an announcement for my boss' son's high school graduation which is in 3 days. I ...
A: Please write the young man a note of congratulation and be done with it. There is a *good reason for ...
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| Bereavement card etiquette | 6/3/2008 |
Q: My mother-in-law recently passed away and my co-worker/friends -- along with the company CEO -- were ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your family's loss. The act of writing the thank you notes should be ...
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| How to accept donations towards restaurant meal? | 6/3/2008 |
Q: It's my partner's 50th birthday and I've organised a meal in a restaurant to celebrate with ten of ...
A: Let the friends approach you. If you ask them,it could cause embarrassment. You made the request,so ...
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| Etiquette | 6/2/2008 |
Q: An answer to yourHi, My best female friend's daughter is expecting next month...and as a single man, ...
A: The flowers will be in horrible shape if you wait around with them for 9 or 10 hours. Send (or buy) ...
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| Wedding Date with a friend... | 6/2/2008 |
Q: Ok here goes. A good friend of my recently asked me to go out as her date to a wedding that she ...
A: Valid constructive advice,huh? Well..you've come to the wrong place for that,mister. Kidding,of ...
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| Canceling a party/celebration | 6/2/2008 |
Q: we were planning my son's baptism to be held in a city that was convenient for both my parents and ...
A: You were absolutely right to change the plans to accommodate your Dad's situation. That your in-laws ...
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| Thank You Cards | 6/1/2008 |
Q: I always wondered what is the right thing to do when you receive a thank you card. Do you ...
A: You just mention to the children casually that you received the lovely thank you cards and add ...
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| Seating arrangements for couples at restaurant | 5/31/2008 |
Q: Can you please tell me the correct seating arrangements at a restaurant when 2 couples are dining. ...
A: <Error 187> INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN INVALID RUN # # ...
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| graduation party invites | 5/21/2008 |
Q: My son is graduating, and we are planning a party. In the meantime, we have been invited to several ...
A: No one ever has to 'pay for the privilege' of being invited somewhere as a guest. Ever. No present ...
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| death of ex-partner's common law spouse | 5/20/2008 |
Q: My question is a little complicated. I recently learned that that the common law spouse of a woman ...
A: If you wish to write a note to her,please do. An unexpected phone call from you would be an ...
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| Dining Etiquette-male ordering | 5/20/2008 |
Q: I have recently gone out with a man who orders dinner for me. I would assume that he was observing ...
A: In China the man does indeed do all of the ordering of the food. In 2006,Reader's Digest did a ...
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| Birthday | 5/19/2008 |
Q: My question is about creating a registry for a birthday. I'm the oldest of 8 siblings...obviously we ...
A: Thin ice here,but if your family members asked directly for you to give them a list of things your ...
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| Dinner with co-worker | 5/17/2008 |
Q: I've been invited to dinner by a former co-worker. He stays in touch with some of us at work, and ...
A: No,don't take anyone unless you would just be more comfortable at dinner having someone along. It's ...
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| graduation announcements | 5/17/2008 |
Q: We are sending announcements to all aunts and uncles, but was wondering if they should be sent to ...
A: You certainly may send the announcements to the cousins if you wish. An announcement is merely ...
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| Two Bar MItzvah Celebrations--and Gifts? | 5/17/2008 |
Q: My son has a friend whose parents are divorced and are not on great terms. The friend will have two, ...
A: Neither parent should expect your son to 'pay for the privilege' of being a guest by bringing a ...
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| Invited/Uninvited? | 5/17/2008 |
Q: My cousin invited me to a wine tasing tour and noted that she will get together with two other ...
A: Please call the cousin who made the original invitation and ask for clarification. As in "Did I get ...
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| Dress Code | 5/16/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have been invited to attend "An Evening got our Members" where we golf. The event ...
A: Bergeron, All of these made up dress codes drive me mad. Stick any two words together and feel ...
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| 60th wedding anniversary announcement | 5/16/2008 |
Q: My husband's parents are celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary and we would like to put an ...
A: Thomas and Irene Doe will be celebrating their 60th wedding anniversary with a private family ...
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| Getting Married | 5/16/2008 |
Q: I am getting married in Aug 2008 and as I am currently working on the wedding invitations I would ...
A: While I understand the problem you have,it is never appropriate to mention gifts in any way on an ...
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| To cancel kid's party or not - low response? | 5/16/2008 |
Q: My 8 year old son invited all of his 2nd grade class to his birthday party at a local bowling ...
A: The worst thing you could do would be to cancel this party. Your child will be so hurt and ...
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| Graduation Party Gifts | 5/16/2008 |
Q: Our son is graduating from elementary school. One of his friend's parent is throwing a graduation ...
A: Everything you need to know is in the line "It's just and excuse to throw a party." No need to take ...
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| invitations | 5/15/2008 |
Q: I would like to invite my brother and his live in girlfriend to my son's graduation. How do I ...
A: Please use two lines: Jane Arkin Herbert Doe ...
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| graduation | 5/14/2008 |
Q: I was wondering how early you should send out high school graduation announcements ANSWER: Dear ...
A: This is a commonly confused pair of terms,so I am happy to help. An invitation asks someone to ...
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| Graduation Announcement | 5/13/2008 |
Q: We just received the graduation annoucement we are to send out for our daughters high school ...
A: Half past two o'clock is correct,two thirty o'clock is not correct. Usually with invitations almost ...
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| gift giving by 13-year-old son | 5/13/2008 |
Q: I have a 13-year-old son. I have been divorced from his mother since he was small, and we share ...
A: It has taken me nearly a full 24 hours to cool down sufficiently so that I may answer this. As ...
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| addressing a wedding invitations | 5/13/2008 |
Q: How would you address a wedding invitation to a couple who is engaged to be married in a couple ...
A: Jane Doe John Adams 123 Race Street Yourtown,ST ...
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| death | 5/13/2008 |
Q: My Uncle recently passed away. My mom asked my sister and I if we were planning on giving a card, ...
A: It is not unusual for people to give money to a family. This is usually done for a young family who ...
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| Etiquette regarding joint birthday party | 5/12/2008 |
Q: I have a close friend who is turning 60 this August. I had planned to throw her a big party but ...
A: Anyone may throw a party for any reason and at any time. I don't understand your territorial ...
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| Wedding gifts | 5/12/2008 |
Q: We are getting married and have received some cash gifts. We do not want to receive wedding ...
A: It is never appropriate to mention gifts on an invitation. So, you did the correct thing there. ...
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| cemetery etiquette | 5/12/2008 |
Q: I'm not sure this falls under the realm of etiquette or not. I might just need advice. I recently ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. It is a stressful time for you made all the worse by other ...
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| declining an invitaion | 5/12/2008 |
Q: my daughter has been invited to be a debutante and she is not sure about doing this. i feel that a ...
A: If she is really sure that she does NOT want to participate,make her write the letter herself. It ...
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| Fence Etiquette | 5/12/2008 |
Q: My neighbor wants to replace the fence that surrounds his yard. His yard is elevated above my and ...
A: I couldn't quite picture the fence before. Yes,you are correct,my answer remains the same. It's all ...
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| Fence Etiquette | 5/10/2008 |
Q: My neighbor wants to replace the fence that surrounds his yard. His yard is elevated above my and ...
A: Robert Frost wrote "Good fences make good neighbors". If the wall would benefit you as well,why not ...
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| Baby shower gift giving | 5/8/2008 |
Q: I own my own business and have 12 girls working for me. Over the last year several girls have had ...
A: For the love of mud,stay OUT of it. This kind of drama is not something a boss should be getting ...
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| Bridal Shower for Stepdaughter | 5/7/2008 |
Q: My stepdaughter is getting married in June. The shower is at the maid of honor's home but the bride ...
A: Your stepdaughter should not have any part to play in the planning of this party. It is supposed to ...
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| Receiving a Graduation Invitation LATE | 5/7/2008 |
Q: I received an invitation from my nephew's mother 2 days before the graduation, which was being held ...
A: I don't know what you were planning to give the boy,but if it was cash,please up the amount out of ...
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| Graduation Announcement | 5/6/2008 |
Q: My daughter is receiving her DVM soon. She (we) want to send out announcements to our friends. We ...
A: Either you or your daughter may send the announcements. Remember, you're just sending information to ...
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| college graduation party | 4/25/2008 |
Q: I want to plan a party for my son's graduation, but I'm not sure about the time-frame. Is is ...
A: Judy, You may have it on the day or in the weeks after the event. Everyone understands how hectic ...
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| Thinking of You card for an ex father-in-law | 4/25/2008 |
Q: I just found out that my ex father-in-law has been diagnosed with stomach cancer. I have been ...
A: Write a straight forward note to the man. "Dear Joe, Although she admitted later ...
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| Return address | 4/25/2008 |
Q: My sister and I are addressing envelopes for thank-you cards to those who acknowledged the recent ...
A: On this we must defer to the wishes of the good people at the United States Postal System. Please ...
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| House warming party | 4/24/2008 |
Q: Just moved into a new home, I will be giving a crawfish boil/house warming party. I really need some ...
A: To ever mention gift on an invitation is wrong. The only time you may ever express a wish for ...
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| College Graduation Announcement Etiquette | 4/23/2008 |
Q: In two and a half weeks I will be graduating from college. I have gone through some bad times and it ...
A: Your uncle couldn't BE more wrong. An announcement is merely INFORMATION. There is no action ...
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| co-worder | 4/23/2008 |
Q: My boss is stealing my clients by under charging them,is this ok as a boss?
A: It is highly unethical,but as he is your boss,there is probably very little that you can do except ...
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| Wedding Invitation ettique | 4/22/2008 |
Q: I am divorced and my ex wife has remarried. Our son is getting married and the invitation reads. ...
A: It would correctly read "his son",but if your son feels closer to his stepmother,then there is ...
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| Tupperware Parties | 4/22/2008 |
Q: Should you happen to decide to attend a party, are you obligated to buy at least one thing? I am ...
A: I've answered this one before,so I'll share that one with you. As to "why?"--I have no idea. I ...
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| Two dads, one bride... | 4/22/2008 |
Q: My soon to be daughter-in-law has a dilema...she has both a father and a step-father that feel they ...
A: As much as you would like to help your future daughter in law,this is one you need to stay out of. ...
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| Birthday Gifts | 4/21/2008 |
Q: We are having a first birthday party for our triplets. Due to the crazy amount of unneeded toys and ...
A: You may say that you are requesting that no gifts are given, implying that you only want to share ...
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| talking back | 4/21/2008 |
Q: hey amanda i dont know why,but i always talk back when my mom or sisters are mad at me, i just ...
A: Perhaps it is the manner and tone in which you tell them your side of the story that is the problem. ...
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| sympathy cards and email | 4/20/2008 |
Q: After the recent death of my husband I have received many cards and e-mails. I appreciate the ...
A: Please know how very sorry I am for this loss in your life. Those who have suffered a death in the ...
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| doctoral graduation announcements | 4/20/2008 |
Q: I understand that graduation announcements are traditionally "announced" by the parents. However, ...
A: Please send out the announcements in your name. It's far too cutsey to pretend the children are ...
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| Graduation Announcement--Who is the Sender--parent or Graduate? | 4/18/2008 |
Q: The inside envelope on the college graduation envelope should be addressed to the person as if you ...
A: Whomever has the pen in their hand at the critical moment makes the call. If the parents ...
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| Bridal Shower | 4/17/2008 |
Q: I am divorce and so is my spouse to be, what is the protocol regarding the type of bridal shower I ...
A: As bridal and baby showers are to be thrown by the woman's friends, you don't have to think about ...
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| Flowers vs. Plants for death of friends mother | 4/17/2008 |
Q: My co-worker and good friend's mother passed away. 1/2 of our co-workers want to chip in for a ...
A: Plants or flowers are equally acceptable. So take a vote or get a mixed basket with both live plants ...
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| mother of the bride | 4/16/2008 |
Q: I am the long time lover of the mother of the bride and I have been unavoidably invited to attend ...
A: Barker, Please decline the invitation. It would cause undue stress for the parents of the bride to ...
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| graduation gifts | 4/16/2008 |
Q: In recent years we've noticed that kids graduating from high school are expecting a monetary gift. ...
A: Frankly,what the little dears expect is not remotely important. You are never required to give ...
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| RSVP Etiquette | 4/15/2008 |
Q: I was invited to a party that requests an RSVP. To me RSVP means to reply if you are coming to ...
A: RSVP is Répondez s'il vous plaît", a French phrase that translates into "please respond". Anytime ...
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| reply card | 4/14/2008 |
Q: My husband is a physician and over the years we have recieved countless invitations with reply ...
A: Absolutely! If the ubiquitous 'M' does not apply,be ruthless with the pen! People in the ...
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| Funeral Etiquette for the family re: plants/flowers sent | 4/14/2008 |
Q: This past weekend was my Grandmother's funeral. My ex-fiance, as well as my employer both sent ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for not only the loss of a beloved relative,but for the conflict with ...
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| Gift giving | 4/13/2008 |
Q: I am recovering from a major surgery from two weeks ago and will not be returning to work for ...
A: A perfect gift (to me) would be a letter of thanks,written from the heart. Express sincerely what ...
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| funeral etiquette | 4/11/2008 |
Q: What is the proper etiquette for a funeral of your ex-husbands' mother? We have 3 grown children 6 ...
A: Please sit on the friends side of the church and look to your former in-laws for clues as to the ...
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| Mother/wedding gifts | 4/10/2008 |
Q: I was recently married and my mother is demanding to be given a copy of the list of gifts we ...
A: Just say "Well,Mom,I was too embarrassed to say it before,but once we wrote the thank you notes,we ...
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| Graduation announcements for deceased parent | 4/10/2008 |
Q: I will be sending out graduation announcements for my son's H.S. graduation. His father passed away ...
A: Thomas Ford Mitchell son of John Mitchell and Kristen Doe ...
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| introductions-guest of subtenant | 4/9/2008 |
Q: I'm divorced, middle-aged male and sub-tenant on a ranch property consisting of six acres. The main ...
A: Burns, The next time you see your landlord/friend and can casually work it in,just say "You know,I ...
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| grad gift giving | 4/8/2008 |
Q: I had someone ask me this morning if you're required to give graduation gifts to other seniors (at ...
A: You never have to give a gift for any occasion. All you need to do is consider your level of ...
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| Undergraduate Graduation | 4/7/2008 |
Q: I need help ASAP! My boyfriend, his brother, and I are all graduating in May. We are having a ...
A: After all the advice I gave you,that is what you took away from it? No,I don't have to allow for ...
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| wedding scheduling | 4/7/2008 |
Q: My daughter has been planning her JUNE WEDDING since last MAY. The brides guests will mostly come ...
A: It sounds to me as if this niece's wedding is a very convenient excuse not to spend the time and ...
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| Visiting parents bedroom assignment | 4/6/2008 |
Q: I have this idea that when a young couple receive their parents, or an older "distinguished" guest ...
A: No one should have to give up their bedroom for a guest under normal circumstances. The host and/or ...
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| Announcments for College Graduation | 4/5/2008 |
Q: My daughter will be graduating from college later this month. What is the correct etiquette for ...
A: Dawn, An announcement is merely information to be sent to those people you feel would be interested ...
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| Engagement Party Question | 4/4/2008 |
Q: My fiance and I have extremely large families. We are planning on throwing an Engagment Party and ...
A: There is simply no polite way to invite the family members to a wedding related function but not the ...
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| Rude not to invite mother to stay for dinner? | 4/4/2008 |
Q: Recently, I invited my mother (who lives a few steps across the street) to come over and spend a ...
A: Your reasons for not asking her to stay were sound and reasonable. Good manners do not require you ...
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| Surprise Party Dates | 4/3/2008 |
Q: Is it okay to throw a surprise birthday party two weeks after the persons actual birthdate? Previous ...
A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for nearly any reason. Please go ahead and have the surprise ...
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| invitations | 4/2/2008 |
Q: How soon is too soon to send out invitations to a Baby Shower I am cohosting and how late is too ...
A: Two weeks used to be plenty of time for casual parties like a shower. However,with everyone's crazy ...
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| wedding invitation list | 4/2/2008 |
Q: My son will be married in Aug. The wedding will be 3 hours from here in a small church. We have ...
A: ABSOLUTELY! Anyone can throw a party at any time and for nearly any reason. Of course you want to ...
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| Dining out etiquette | 4/1/2008 |
Q: I have a question regarding meal orders when dining out. My fiancé and I will be meeting two other ...
A: Try not to split one item. See if you can't each get a salad or other side dish. Make sure that you ...
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| Not invited to the wedding | 4/1/2008 |
Q: My uncle's daughter is getting married in June, the "Save the Date's" have already gone out and I ...
A: This sounds like a simple case of being overlooked. Accidentally. I say this because you didn't tell ...
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| Funeral Thank you cards | 3/30/2008 |
Q: My mother recently passed away and we have been debating if Thank You cards should be sent to all ...
A: While it is unnecessary to send notes of response for cards and letters of condolence,you may if you ...
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| engagement protocol | 3/28/2008 |
Q: Our son is getting engaged. What is the etiquette regarding calling the brides parents? Who gives ...
A: The bride's family usually gives the engagement party. However,if they cannot afford or have no ...
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| BAPTISM | 3/27/2008 |
Q: I WILL LIKE TO KNOW WHO PAY FOR A CHILD BAPTISM THE PARENTS OR GOD PARENTS
A: The parents take care of the expenses associated with the baptism. A Godparents are responsible for ...
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| dress code for a sweet sixteen | 3/25/2008 |
Q: the sweet sixteen young lady will be wearing red and white; she would like everyone invited to ...
A: The best way to get the word out is by using the grapevine that exists in every social group,but ...
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| Wedding etiquette | 3/24/2008 |
Q: My husband and I have been invited to my nephews wedding but my three adult children and their ...
A: Finch, You have expressed your hurt and disappointment to the groom and he is unmoved. An odd ...
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| Bad Gifts | 3/22/2008 |
Q: My Mother insists on sending my son cheaply/poorly made clothing that doesn't fit his body type or ...
A: While I certainly sympathize with your feelings,you've already answered your ownI know that I should ...
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| wedding gift when you can't attend? | 3/21/2008 |
Q: A family friend is getting married in another state (about a ten hour drive). Some of my family ...
A: Send them a letter of congratulation and offer any thoughtful insights you have learned about ...
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| Funeral etiquette | 3/19/2008 |
Q: My boyfriend's mother passed away Monday night after being in a nursing home for 3 years. I've only ...
A: Ask him. Simply say what you said to me. That you care for him deeply and want to support him in any ...
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| Wedding Invitation Ettiquette | 3/17/2008 |
Q: I understand that it's a no-no to include bridal registry and other gift information with wedding ...
A: While I understand and applaud the sentiment,it's still taboo. Soliciting gifts,even for a selfless ...
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| Proper footwear to go out to eat. | 3/17/2008 |
Q: I like to go to dinner with my husband at family type casual restaurants like Chili's, Red Lobsters, ...
A: This is not an etiquette question. It is a relationship question disguised as a conflict over what ...
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| Should I follow up people that didn't attend my party celebrations | 3/16/2008 |
Q: Last night was my hen's night. It was a fairly intimate event with less than 15 people and almost ...
A: While I am sure that you are disappointed in your friends behavior,it is best to say nothing. "We ...
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| Debutante ball invitation | 3/16/2008 |
Q: My husband and I received an invitation to the debutante ball from 3 girls.We will not be able to ...
A: While it is not necessary to send a gift,you may,if you wish send the girls flowers on or near the ...
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| 40th Birthday | 3/15/2008 |
Q: I'm planning a surprise 40th birthday for my husband at a bowling alley. Should the guests pay for ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Address the invitations specifically to the ...
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| baptism announcement | 3/15/2008 |
Q: I baptized my third child on the same day as her first birthday party. the party was a huge affair, ...
A: By all means,send out an announcement to whomever you please. An announcement is merely information ...
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| Why we say "I'm Good" or "Fine" when asked "How are you?" | 3/14/2008 |
Q: I was recently put under the microscope by a somewhat grouchy (at the time) friend, when he recently ...
A: It is just part of normal social interaction. "How are you?" "I am well,thank you,and you?" A ...
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| Wedding Invitation Parent Wording | 3/14/2008 |
Q: Gamble, I am trying to write my wedding invitation verses and I am stuck on how to word the names ...
A: Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smo Smith request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter Ann ...
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| College Graduation | 3/12/2008 |
Q: I will be graduating this August with my BS in Business administration. I am 37 years old. I also am ...
A: By all means,send invitations to your graduation if you wish. Do remember that no one but your ...
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| Whistling | 3/12/2008 |
Q: May I ask when it is rude to whistle. I was always told it is rude to whistle when not in private.
A: The 'rules' came about because most whistling is very annoying. Few people who whistle do it ...
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| baby shower's | 3/12/2008 |
Q: I recently received a message on myspace from the step-mother of my husband's best friends wife ...
A: "step-mother of my husband's best friends wife..." What? Oh, never mind,it doesn't matter. It's 20 ...
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| Conversational Etiquette | 3/11/2008 |
Q: Today I was having a conversation with my mother (86) and my son (17). In the middle of the ...
A: What matters here is that your Mother felt left out. You should have just said "I'm sorry Mom. We ...
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| Gum Chewing | 3/11/2008 |
Q: When is it considered bad manners to chew gum?
A: The penalty for smuggling gum into Singapore is a year in prison and a 10,000 dollar fine. This ...
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| son's wedding | 3/10/2008 |
Q: My son proposed 4.5 weeks after he and his fiancee started dating. They have set a date of June 20, ...
A: There really is nothing to be done. I understand that you are trying to smooth the path for your son ...
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| sympathy cards | 3/9/2008 |
Q: My sister-in-law recently died. My husband has been getting some sympathy cards addressed to both of ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Death is an awkward and painful event for everyone ...
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| Theater | 3/8/2008 |
Q: At the theater, when one is passing in front of other patrons in order to reach his/her seat, should ...
A: Apostolou, Emily Post said you face forward,toward the stage. What her reasoning was,I do not ...
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| New neighbor | 3/7/2008 |
Q: I rented and moved into a house 2 weeks ago. Earlier this week there was a calling card in my ...
A: No 'hostess gift' required. Just show up and be charming and polite so that she knows there isn't an ...
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| Dissertation Chair Gift? | 3/7/2008 |
Q: I'm about to finish graduate school. Should I give my dissertation chair a gift? And if so, what ...
A: Congratulations! Give a gift,but make it personal. You've paid for your education,so a ...
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| paying for friend's dinner | 3/7/2008 |
Q: Recently, my husband and went out to eat with his cousin, whom we don't see very often. As we sat ...
A: There is nothing wrong with getting the matter settled before you eat. I prefer to have a word with ...
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| Wedding Shower | 3/6/2008 |
Q: I am the maid of honor for my sisters wedding. She is planning to invite only immediate family and ...
A: If you do invite these relatives to the shower but not the wedding itself,be prepared for fifty ...
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| 2 cats and 1 fiance | 3/5/2008 |
Q: Yesterday, my fiance called me to ask how my day went. I told him how it went and asked him how his ...
A: Oh dear. What is he going to do when you have kids? This isn't about the cats. Fights in ...
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| Unannounced Visitor!! | 3/5/2008 |
Q: My roommate and I are in a bit of a situation. We live in a basement suite, while the landlord and ...
A: That is a tough spot to be in. She doesn't sound as if she has much of a life and I would bet ...
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| hotel bill single vs family | 3/5/2008 |
Q: Recently we planned on ending our husbands and some of the kids painballing. I found a place and ...
A: Split the cost evenly,but see to it that the men without children get some benefits. Like maybe the ...
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| "address" for baptism reception | 3/4/2008 |
Q: My son is being baptized soon, and at our church, baptism takes place during the regular worship ...
A: "Reception to follow in Holloway Fellowship Hall immediately after the service." Lets them know it ...
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| Class Reunion Protocol | 3/2/2008 |
Q: It is time for my 30th class reunion. The class officers did the 5th, 10th, and 20th. However, ...
A: Make one last effort to contact these two class officers. Leave a message saying "If we don't hear ...
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| College Graduation | 3/2/2008 |
Q: Our eldest daughter, and the eldest grandaughter, is graduating from college in May. What is the ...
A: Announcements is merely a way of conveying information. There is no action required on the part of ...
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| Sending a birthday card to my son's ex-girlfriend | 2/29/2008 |
Q: I would like to send a birthday card to my son's previous girlfriend, who is truly sweet and whom I ...
A: While I understand why you want to do it,you have the maturity and life experience to know that it's ...
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| "Future Lawyers"? | 2/29/2008 |
Q: Gamble: I am a high school student with high hopes of becoming an attorney. I have done Mock ...
A: I can certainly see where it would annoy you,but try to let it go. The next term that you will be ...
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| Charging Guests for Friend's B-Day Party | 2/29/2008 |
Q: I'm throwing my best friend a 30th b-day party at a Karaoke bar. The private room for 2hrs is around ...
A: Never give a party that you cannot afford. People never should have to pay for the privilege of ...
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| proper word phrasing | 2/19/2008 |
Q: I am throwing a party for my father's 70th birthday. I am a poor teacher, however. So, I can pay for ...
A: It is criminal what we pay teachers,isn't it? A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. ...
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| anniversary party | 2/15/2008 |
Q: I will be attending a combination 25th and 50th Wedding Anniversary party. Renewing of vows will be ...
A: He should wear the tie and if he sees others are not wearing them,he can ditch it. Better to be ...
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| Recomendation letters | 2/15/2008 |
Q: I was asked to write a recommendation letter for a neighbors son for a scholarship for college. At ...
A: Most scholarship committees and private clubs that require a letter want it to be private. They want ...
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| inlaws | 2/14/2008 |
Q: My baby is due in three months and my inlaws are already planning on staying with us when the baby ...
A: Madness. You are going to be giving birth and,almost immediately after,be forced to sleep on the ...
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| Responding to an invitation to a "party that is not a party" ie tupperware, Partylite, | 2/14/2008 |
Q: Is there an obligation to respond to the RSVP of a non-party like a tupperware party? Or is it ...
A: Oh don't get me started on poorly disguised pyramid schemes. "Recruit 3 friends and become a ...
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| Mom's birthday invitation | 2/14/2008 |
Q: I'm having a birthday party for my mom at a local restaurant. I am trying to figure out how I am ...
A: A hostess never gives a party that she cannot afford. Please consider adjusting your plans to just ...
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| passed bar exam party | 2/13/2008 |
Q: I was invited to a party for a cousin who passed the bar exam. They are now officially an attorney ...
A: Send a card or a note of congratulation only. She just needs your good wishes for a successful ...
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| baby shower etiquette | 2/13/2008 |
Q: I am having my second child, which was a hard won battle at 42. My friends keep saying "When is the ...
A: An announcement is merely information that is sent to those who may wish to know it. No action is ...
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| Bridal Shower | 2/13/2008 |
Q: I would like to have a Bridal Luncheon/ Shower for my son's fiance at a lovely Inn.My son and fiance ...
A: A relative may give a party in honor of the bride to be,they may not properly host a shower. ...
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| Engagement Party | 2/12/2008 |
Q: Who should give an engagement party when the couple is paying for their own wedding? How long after ...
A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for any reason. With an engagement,the party needs to be ...
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| etiquette for a widow recently bereaved | 2/12/2008 |
Q: What is the etiquette for a widow recently bereaved regarding responding to notes of condolences, ...
A: She gets a pass on 'normal' for a solid year. No one who has suffered such a loss has to do ...
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| How to address a sympathy card after the death of a husband | 2/11/2008 |
Q: how do you address a sympathy card to the widow? Should it be Jane Smith or Mrs. Jane Smith or Mrs. ...
A: She is "Mrs Robert Smith" until she dies or remarries. She can also be properly addressed as "Jane ...
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| Getting Married | 2/11/2008 |
Q: I would like to know if it is improper to get married on your birthday. I am planning a wedding and ...
A: No,there is nothing incorrect or unlucky about getting married on your birthday. I wish you and your ...
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| Table manner early start | 2/11/2008 |
Q: I considered myself well mannered, however at a recent gathering in a restaurant, a group of 20 ...
A: One of the people who hasn't been served needs to say "I hope everyone else will agree with me ...
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| correcting others | 2/11/2008 |
Q: My Mom thinks it is bad manners if you use improper grammar or mispronounce peoples' names. So she ...
A: Your Mom should only correct those she has personally brought into this world. Everyone else she ...
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| PotLucks | 2/10/2008 |
Q: I have been called rude because I hosted a potluck dinner this fall. My husband & I are in our ...
A: In 1621,a very famous pot luck was held in this country. We now celebrate the anniversary annually ...
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| complaints | 2/10/2008 |
Q: I recently hosted a Valentines Ball for a City Wide social group. Each person paid $27.50 for a ...
A: If people paid for their tickets,you were not the hostess,you were the planner or organizer. At ...
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| how to address bridal shower invitations........ | 2/10/2008 |
Q: how do address bridal shower invitations for just women with daughters, can I say Mrs. Jane Smith ...
A: Please use two lines: Mrs Robert Smith Misses Amy & Ann Smith ...
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| Proper Etiquette when interacting with someone who rejected you | 2/10/2008 |
Q: This is my first time on your site. I am a bisexual sophomore in college and a few weeks ago I ...
A: Lauren, Asking someone over to your room is a casual thing. It wouldn't be clear to anyone that ...
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| Not be introduced | 2/10/2008 |
Q: My husband has the habit of not introducing me. If we are at a store and someone comes up and speaks ...
A: First what you do is kick him. In the shin. What? Your state and local laws don't allow for that ...
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| An adult visiting-daughter's response | 2/9/2008 |
Q: A adult daughter has been home with her parents for week one of a 16-week stay. The Dad has just ...
A: As they raised her,they may respond in pretty much any way that they see fit. The options are to ask ...
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| destination wedding invitations | 2/8/2008 |
Q: We are getting married in Las Vegas in October and will be sending out save the date cards shortly ...
A: These are special circumstances,ignore 'the rule' and do what you need to do to get a proper head ...
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| Was I wrong being upset about a birthday gift? | 2/8/2008 |
Q: I had a birthday in December and my friends and I went out for a birthday dinner. I thought that a ...
A: In short,yes,you were wrong. You over-reacted and behaved like a child. I don't know what her ...
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| Unexpected guests | 2/8/2008 |
Q: I need to know how to handle unexpected company that show up every January from out of state. These ...
A: It's your house and it's time to take it back. Having good manners does not mean you have to be a ...
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| Debutante gifts | 2/8/2008 |
Q: Our guest list for my daughter's debutante ball includes good friends of ours, but they are not well ...
A: Only very close family and friends give a deb gifts. People who are so close to the girl that they ...
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| Funeral's | 2/8/2008 |
Q: My mother passed away a few years ago. She lived in Texas and my husband’s brothers lived in ...
A: Each situation is different and as I do not know your family, there is no way to comment on the ...
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| Receving duplicate gifts from friends | 2/8/2008 |
Q: I was left in a tight spot recently regarding duplicated birthday gifts from 2 friends. Friend #1 ...
A: You meant to do a kindness by heading off a 'smart Aleck' (and don't we all have those in our ...
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| Addressing a family with different last names | 2/8/2008 |
Q: In the situation where the Mom kept her last name and kids have Dad's last name. How would you ...
A: Just use two lines,or three depending on how old the kids are. Elise Howard ...
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| Etiquette for writing thank you cards for gifts | 2/7/2008 |
Q: I've been having an argument with my mother about something. My mother insists that no matter the ...
A: Perhaps I can help you look at this situation differently. For whatever reason,this great aunt feels ...
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| Taking food to someone's home | 2/7/2008 |
Q: If someone is in town after an extended absence and you call that person and ask if you can come ...
A: Please give them a couple of options and leave it open to other suggestions. As in "I was thinking ...
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| Baby shower | 2/7/2008 |
Q: A friend is adopting a baby from China and I would like to host a shower for her. In speaking with ...
A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford. Offer your guests only the coffee and dessert ...
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| 40th anniversary question | 2/7/2008 |
Q: My parents will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary on Feb. 17th. My father is in poor ...
A: Add a line like this one at the end of the announcement: While Mr and Mrs Thompson are unable to ...
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| TABLE SETTING | 2/6/2008 |
Q: For a formal dinner for 10, I have 10 wine glasses and only 4 water glasses. It is OK to set your ...
A: You don't say just who is coming to dinner,but I am guessing it's family and friends? Please go ...
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| when are thank you cards necessary | 2/6/2008 |
Q: A friend of mines in-laws are mad at her for not sending thank you cards to the people that came to ...
A: Good heavens NO. Listen,this friend of yours has suffered a horrible loss. She officially gets a ...
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| Vow renewals | 2/6/2008 |
Q: What is the gift giving expectations for a couple who are renewing their wedding vows after 25 ...
A: A gift is never required for any reason or any occasion. So it has to be a question of how much ...
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| wedding dress mob | 2/6/2008 |
Q: can the mother of the bride and mother of the groom wear the same color dress
A: If the dresses were of a dark color,say navy,then it would be fine,people would be looking at the ...
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| ordination of a bishop | 2/5/2008 |
Q: I was invited to a ordination of a bishop (a distant relative) I responded by rsvp date that I would ...
A: You are not required to give a gift,but if you do,the traditional route is to make a donation to the ...
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| Destination wedding etiquette | 1/31/2008 |
Q: As mother of the groom can I have a after wedding reception for our side of the family - we are a ...
A: Absolutely. Anyone may give a party for any reason and at any time. I wish your son and his bride ...
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| All expense paid wedding | 1/31/2008 |
Q: A very close friend is having a wedding in Maui, small about 50 people. He is paying for flights ...
A: It doesn't matter if they get married in the park and served you all day old donuts or have a ...
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| party invites - adults only | 1/31/2008 |
Q: How do I politely state (in a surprise birthday invitation) that party is for adults only AND ...
A: Dear Members of The Westwood Trails Group, On Saturday,February 16th there will be a surprise ...
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| wedding gown | 1/31/2008 |
Q: the back to my gown is open,but im not going braless.a strapless bra wont help because you can still ...
A: Well..not sure that this is technically an etiquette question, but I'm here to help. I Googled the ...
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| How can I get this woman to quit bothering me? | 1/31/2008 |
Q: My mother died in April 2003. A lady whom I had not seen in about 23 years came over. All she did ...
A: Losing a parent can be stressful,I know. This woman probably meant well,but if it was 'creepy' to ...
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| singing manners | 1/31/2008 |
Q: Is it bad manners to hum or sing along with recorded music in the presence of my husband, in our ...
A: Frohmader, Well..let's see..if the couple is newly wed,singing out of tune would be considered a ...
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| death of a friend's husband | 1/31/2008 |
Q: We took up a collection at work for good friend who just lost her husband and there is controversy ...
A: Have someone write her a check and include it in with a condolence note. Dear Sue, We are ...
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| appropriate gift | 1/30/2008 |
Q: Is there an appropriate for a college graduate who made All-American for football. Family having a ...
A: Mercurio, You are not required to give a gift unless you expressly wish to do so. Let your level ...
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| wedding shower | 1/30/2008 |
Q: What is the protocol on giving a shower or come and go tea for a bride who is planning a small ...
A: Please do not invite people to the shower if they have no hope of getting an invitation to the ...
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| engagement party guest list | 1/30/2008 |
Q: Our wedding is in Aspen, CO...we live in Atlanta, GA. We are having a pretty small wedding and ...
A: Please don't invite people to the engagement party if you have no intention of sending them an ...
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| Formal attire for Franco-Mexican wedding | 1/29/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are attending a 4 PM wedding in Cuernavaca on Feb. 16 (two very wealthy families). ...
A: Well..I e-mailed a few people in Cuernavaca and still have not heard anything,so I guess I will have ...
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| favors for neighbors | 1/28/2008 |
Q: I live on a street where neighbors are generally very friendly and social with each other, though we ...
A: You don't need a concrete reason to say no. The phrase "I'm sorry,it just wouldn't be convenient for ...
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| Is it appropriate to kiss on the lips? | 1/28/2008 |
Q: I've been dating a man for a year and a half. He is best friends with a woman. I accept this, ...
A: How..European of him! Look,bottom line,you are the girlfriend. If you are not okay with this,then ...
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| Baby/wedding showers | 1/28/2008 |
Q: I was taught by my mother that family members do not host showers for other family members. This ...
A: Your Mom's advice was absolutely correct. It's one thing for close friends to give you a small ...
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| Photo Christmas cards | 1/27/2008 |
Q: When sending photo Christmas cards should the whole family if they live under one roof be in the ...
A: You may have anyone in the photo that you wish. Keith Richards,if he's passing by,can be in your ...
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| Birth Congratulations | 1/26/2008 |
Q: When someone has a new baby, is it correct to congratulate just the parents? I have noticed ...
A: It is always a good idea to make a fuss over a new baby to the siblings. After all,they may not ...
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| gift registry | 1/26/2008 |
Q: How many stores should a person normally register at. I heard two but I was unsure. is it bad ...
A: Gift registries are at complete odds with etiquette. They were created by stores as a way to make ...
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| surprise party invitations | 1/25/2008 |
Q: I am planning a surprise birthday party for my fiance. The plan is for everyone to meet at a local ...
A: You are hosting the party,your young man is the guest of honor. All expenses would be paid by you. ...
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| Vacation House | 1/25/2008 |
Q: A wealthy friend who lives in the UK came into a lot of money and decided to rent a vacation house ...
A: You are correct. You cannot and should not pay her back 'in full'. This is her gift to you and let ...
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| golden anniversary gifts | 1/25/2008 |
Q: We are planning a 50th anniversary party for my parents.They never had a real wedding or honeymoon ...
A: There is never a polite way to ask for gifts. While I understand your desire to give your parents a ...
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| miscarrage | 1/25/2008 |
Q: My niece had a miscarrage, is it OK to send a sympathy card, or a plain card and write in it, don't ...
A: Please write her a note letting her know how sorry you are that this terrible loss occurred. It's ...
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| 75th Dinner Birthday Party | 1/24/2008 |
Q: A church member has asked me to print programs for her mother's 75th birthday party. The family is ...
A: You do you have any more information to share with me? This is too incomplete a question for me to ...
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| Country Club Sponsor | 1/24/2008 |
Q: A friend of mine wants to have her wedding reception at a local country club. To do this, she has ...
A: Please don't get involved in this situation. It will be miserable for you all around. Your friend ...
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| Brides maids dress | 1/23/2008 |
Q: Should parents of bride pay for BRIDESMAIDS DRESS.
A: Only if they can afford to do so. Not many people can pay for the dresses,so it is sort of ...
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| 50th Anniversary Dinner (out of town) | 1/23/2008 |
Q: My husband is planning our 50th Anniversary getaway, that includes dinner planning at an expensive ...
A: A host never gives a party that he cannot afford. Your friends should not have to 'pay for the ...
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| Wedding GIft Giving | 1/23/2008 |
Q: If I attended the Bridal Shower and gave a gift, is it ok to delay the wedding gift for a few ...
A: You never have to give a gift for any occasion. It is not 'required'. I am sure that your friends ...
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| Proper time to send Fundraiser Invitations | 1/23/2008 |
Q: How long before a fundraiser should we send the invitations? We are sending Save the Date cards ...
A: If you send the cards out too early,you run the risk of people forgetting. Six months out is ...
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| Funeral | 1/23/2008 |
Q: My friend's mother-in-law recently passed away and my sister and I (who are friends with her)sent ...
A: As politely as you can manage,please smack your sister upside the head and tell her to get over ...
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| "Black Cocktail Attire" | 1/22/2008 |
Q: I am attending a casino theme party and the attire is listed as "black cocktail". What exactly does ...
A: It's official. The world has gone mad. There seems to be a great need for people to make up these ...
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| Weddings & receptions | 1/22/2008 |
Q: I'm getting married in August 2008.. I want to know if it is considered "cheap" to make you own ...
A: It is never wrong to stick to a budget you have made or use the materials that would be best for ...
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| ex-girfriend of husband & card signing | 1/22/2008 |
Q: I would like your opinion on a touchy situation; every year on my husband's AA anniversary a card is ...
A: I think it's great that your husband has found a program that he can stick to and you shouldn't ...
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| my ex husband father died should i attend the funeral | 1/22/2008 |
Q: My ExHusband of 10yrs father is passing away. They have given him a week. This is the grandfather of ...
A: Can you not call him? You have children together,you must still speak occasionally. Just tell him ...
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| Birthday invitation - Dutch treat | 1/22/2008 |
Q: My friend is having a surprise 50th birthday party for her husband next month and would like it to ...
A: I'm sorry,but there is no polite way to tell people that they must pay for the privilege of being ...
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| Gifts from biological mother | 1/22/2008 |
Q: My husband recently received custody of his 3 children (my stepchildren) from his first marriage, ...
A: It wasn't wrong for you to have the children write thank you notes. It was very thoughtful. I do ...
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| how child address adult | 1/22/2008 |
Q: We recently moved to a new neighborhood. Two male neighbors have requested that our children call ...
A: The children should call the men by their first names. Even though it goes against what you would ...
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| Thank you notes | 1/22/2008 |
Q: If the recipient of the gift thanks you at the time you give the gift to them, is a thank you note ...
A: You don't say how old your nephew is in your question. If the person (any person) receiving the gift ...
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| parents gift for second daughter's wedding | 1/21/2008 |
Q: My daughter is planning to get married this year. She doesn't anything more than a court house ...
A: You owe her nothing. She is not entitled to anything more than you wish to give her. End of story. ...
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| thank you envelope | 1/21/2008 |
Q: How do you address a thank you envelope for a bridal shower gift from a friend or famliy member? My ...
A: If you're writing the thank you note,you get to choose. An honorific is never 'wrong' but as of the ...
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| Addressing a thank you note to a child | 1/21/2008 |
Q: Is it still appropriate to address a male child as "Master" (John Smith)? If so, at what age do you ...
A: The honorific 'Master' is appropriate to use up until the age of 13. It has fallen out of fashion,at ...
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| To use or not to use the gravy ladle | 1/19/2008 |
Q: My question may seem somewhat trivial but it is a real difference of opinion at our family "holiday" ...
A: To well, or not to well, that is theWhether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer The slings and arrows ...
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| Graduation Invitations | 1/18/2008 |
Q: My daughter would like to invite a few of her teachers from grade school,middle school,and high ...
A: As the invitations (to teachers) are going to be few in number,please have your daughter write each ...
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| Sequence or Order of Professional Designations | 1/18/2008 |
Q: Is there a sequence or order to Professional Designations that a person lists? Is it in the order ...
A: Please list them in the order they were earned by you. Makes it simple and logical for the person ...
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| Christmas thank you cards | 1/18/2008 |
Q: Is it neccesary to send a Christmas thank you card to friends and family when the Christmas cards ...
A: If you did not get the gift in the presence of the giver, please do send them a note. You are ...
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| Street Meetings | 1/18/2008 |
Q: What is the proper etiquette on acknowledging a stranger on the street? (ie-saying hello, nodding or ...
A: Depends entirely on the size of the city. What will be a friendly gesture in one place will get you ...
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| not invited to be in cousins wedding | 1/17/2008 |
Q: My husband is very hurt that he is not invited to be a part of his 1st cousins wedding party, they ...
A: We are often hurt and disappointed when other people fail to meet our expectations. Meanwhile,the ...
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| Drinking off a bottle. | 1/17/2008 |
Q: Is it good manners to drink off a soda/beer bottle at a dinning table?
A: No. It looks horrible and why people do it,I will never know. Unless someone is at the beach or ...
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| 60% Seating at a Wedding? | 1/17/2008 |
Q: I am getting married in June 08' and renting a Tent. We will have one main tent and then a side ...
A: Perhaps I should have given a straight answer. But,you guessed it,I have never heard of this ...
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| Thanks you cards at Christmas Time | 1/16/2008 |
Q: My question is, is it appropriate to send thank you cards to the people who send us Christmas gifts? ...
A: I wonder where your neighbor ever got that idea? It is never wrong to send a thank you note for a ...
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| Engagement Party Gift | 1/16/2008 |
Q: If you are invited to an engagement party, is a gift expected? This is a first for me.
A: You are never required to pay for the privilege of being invited as a guest. This applies to any ...
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| Evening Wear | 1/16/2008 |
Q: For a black tie event is it necessary to wear a long evening gown or is social cocktail length ...
A: Ah,that's the joy of being a woman. We can get away with either and not apologize for it. Yes,a ...
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| Tipping/Dinner Parties | 1/16/2008 |
Q: Gamble, I am going to host a dinner party at a restaurant to celebrate my birthday. I was wondering ...
A: Pre-paying for the valet parking is an excellent idea. Very thoughtful of you. Most restaurants ...
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| Whistling inside the house | 1/16/2008 |
Q: Is it improper to whistle inside the house and what is the reasoning for it?
A: If it is your house,you are free to whistle in it. The 'rules' came about because most whistling is ...
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| Travel Expenses for family guests | 1/16/2008 |
Q: My sister moved to Florida ten years ago. She has four daughters. I and my family live in ...
A: The only person responsible for a guest's hotel bill is the guest. If the financial burden is too ...
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| Mom's retirement party | 1/15/2008 |
Q: My mother is retiring from a long successful career in publishing. My stepfather and I felt we ...
A: Anyone may give a party at any time and for any reason. I think that celebrating your Mom's career ...
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| question on etiquette | 1/15/2008 |
Q: my question is My daughter just got engaged I am planning on making a surprise engagement party the ...
A: No,there is no polite way to ask for gifts on an invitation,I'm sorry. People never should be made ...
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| hostess gifts | 1/13/2008 |
Q: Is it better to open a bottle of wine that you receive as a gift from a friend who you have invited ...
A: As the hostess,the choice is yours. Most people do not open the wine that is brought simply because ...
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| Funeral etiquite | 1/13/2008 |
Q: One of my best friends just lost her uncle that she hasn't seen in years due to his incarceration. ...
A: By saying "This is obviously a deeply distressing event for everyone. I think it would be best if I ...
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| driving from events | 1/13/2008 |
Q: When departing a dance or social event, is a man obligated to wait for a woman in another car to ...
A: No. Once you have seen the woman to her car,your obligation has ended. It is up to the woman to ...
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| No Gift Southern custom? | 1/13/2008 |
Q: My daughter was married in the church she has attended since birth. Many of our guests did not give ...
A: A wedding is a sacrament. A solemn religious service that is one of the most important in our lives. ...
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| Thank yous | 1/13/2008 |
Q: How should I properly thank someone who has given money for a Catholic Mass?
A: Write a simple note of thanks. "Dear Mrs Simpson, Your kind donation for the Mass in ...
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| shower invitations | 1/12/2008 |
Q: Is is proper to invite a relatively "new" girl friend of the groom's dad to a shower when their ...
A: WOW. Yes,it will make for an uncomfortable situation, but if the bride wants this woman at the ...
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| tombstone | 1/11/2008 |
Q: my mom recently passed away. she was married 4 times we are not sure what to write on the ...
A: This is entirely up to you to decide. Grave markers may contain as much or as little information as ...
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| child birthday party invite etiquette | 1/11/2008 |
Q: I have a 5 year old daughter, and a girl in her class is having a birthday party but has only ...
A: Ouch. Inviting everyone in the class is the best policy. No,there is nothing to be gained by ...
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| High School Graduation Gift | 1/10/2008 |
Q: I received a high school graduation announcement from my friend's daughter whom I have never met. ...
A: An announcement is merely information. It is send to those people who might be interested in ...
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| Grieving ex-boyfriend | 1/9/2008 |
Q: My present girlfriend's ex-boyfriend of more than a year ago recently died. Prior to his death she ...
A: Let's just start out by saying this,you are always allowed to feel exactly as you do. It is how we ...
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| Special Diets and Dinner Parties | 1/9/2008 |
Q: My husband and I both have medically necessary special diets, each of us having a different disease ...
A: Decline all invitations to meals and stick to social outings that avoid all food issues. Art ...
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| birthday party etiquette | 1/9/2008 |
Q: I have always believed that if a child is invited ot a birthday party and is unable to attend that ...
A: No one is ever required to give a gift for any occasion. If they attend,if they don't...they never ...
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| manners | 1/9/2008 |
Q: Is it rude to come over to someone's house and talk about any new item they have purchased? Any ...
A: Most of us enjoy it when someone admires a new lamp or vase in our home. The comment should be ...
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| 1st communion | 1/9/2008 |
Q: We are in the process of planning our sons 1st communion, and we do not know what to do in regards ...
A: Sorry,son's life,I meant to say... Dear Carmen, This is a very serious and important day in your ...
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| timing of wedding gift | 1/9/2008 |
Q: My family is all gathering this weekend for a small wedding for my brother (36)down on the beach in ...
A: The bride and groom do not want to have to ship or haul presents back home. Please listen to the ...
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| Cat sitting for in-laws | 1/8/2008 |
Q: My question is about my in-laws cat. They are on vacation in Florida and my husband and I are ...
A: Would you really do that to your in-laws? Make them come home from a vacation to care for a cat? ...
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| picking up the meal check | 1/8/2008 |
Q: We will be visiting several cities out of state and meeting friends for a meal. Are the visitors or ...
A: The visitors and the natives are supposed to fight over who gets to pick up the check. As in ...
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| Birthday party at restaurant | 1/8/2008 |
Q: My father is going to host a surprise 70th birthday party for my mother at her favorite restaurant ...
A: No,you aren't wrong here. Your sister is the one who needs to step back and see the big picture. ...
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| retirement party | 1/8/2008 |
Q: people at work are hosting a retirement party for our secretary. She lives with spouse and 1 child ...
A: You don't say what kind of party this is,but I am going to guess that it is not an open house or ...
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| blowing your nose | 1/8/2008 |
Q: Is it bad manners to blow your nose at the table, while others are eating?
A: Yes. Some people wouldn't mind,but most people find it disgusting. Anyone who needs to blow their ...
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| relationship - man and woman differences in money spending | 1/8/2008 |
Q: I have a new relationship, we are both professional middle aged people, he is richer than me. Is ...
A: I think it is up to each couple to decide for themselves what the terms of the relationship are. I ...
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| chipping in for flowers for a funeral | 1/8/2008 |
Q: am organizing a group of people to chip in for flowers for a funeral. Most of us are single. ...
A: BEVERLY YOU DIDN'T SCROLL DOWN FAR ENOUGH. HAPPENS ALL THE TIME! BEST ...
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| Debutante Gifts | 1/8/2008 |
Q: My daughter was recently in two debutante balls. She received gifts from fellow debutantes, for ...
A: It is not traditional for the debutantes to exchange gifts,but there is no harm in it. These ...
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| Adult Birthday Party Favors | 1/8/2008 |
Q: I am planning a 60th birthday party for my husband and specifically requested no gifts please. Am I ...
A: Only give party favors if you wish to do so. You may also decide for yourself what to give and if ...
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| Party arrival eitiquette | 1/7/2008 |
Q: Wondering if you think it's OK to tell a host you will be at a kid's birthday party, but plan to ...
A: Parents of toddlers (and their friends) should be tolerant of the situation they find themselves ...
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| invitations | 1/7/2008 |
Q: Sending invitations toa formal party. When should invitations be sent..two weeks ahead or more?
A: If it is very formal (as well as important to you) please consider giving your guests a month's ...
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| Bar Mitzvah Invites | 1/7/2008 |
Q: We just found out that a girl from my son's class whom we invited to his Bar Mitzvah is making her ...
A: While I certainly understand and applaud your desire to protect your son from any social hurt he may ...
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| Etiquette | 1/7/2008 |
Q: It is very kind of you to give free advice about social etiquette and I do need your advice. ...
A: You do not say what church the bishop belongs to,but I will guess Catholic. I will add some others ...
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| dress material --appropriate for wedding in FEbuary, March or april | 1/7/2008 |
Q: I have a cream colored dress I would like to consider for my second marriage. I am 68 yrs. old. The ...
A: Well,it depends on the ruffles,doesn't it? I mean,we have all seen women past the age of 30 or so ...
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| being a guest in a home | 1/6/2008 |
Q: I was recently hosting a new friend in my home. I asked them to attend my church service wit on ...
A: Religion and religious views are deeply private and entirely personal. Anyone may invite others to ...
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| funeral thank you | 1/6/2008 |
Q: Amanda, I have been asked to send out the thank you notes for my mother-in-laws funeral. What do I ...
A: Dear Mark and Karen, Ethel has asked me to pass along her sincerest thanks for the ...
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| Birthday Party with Kosher Guests | 1/6/2008 |
Q: My husband and I are hosting a birthday party for our two year old son. Two of the families ...
A: Burying the family silver in the garden and Kashering the kitchen would be a bit much for a two ...
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| personalized baby gift for shower | 1/6/2008 |
Q: I am going to a baby shower and the mother to be knows and shares that her baby will be a girl and ...
A: In some cultures a personalized baby gift is an omen of misfortune to come for the child. This is ...
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| gift for nephew graduation with no relationship | 1/6/2008 |
Q: After 20 years of sending a Christmas and birthday gift to my nephew, I decided this year not to ...
A: I had some sympathy for the kid until "he blocked me on Facebook". That is a pretty overtly ...
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| baby's 1st birthday | 1/5/2008 |
Q: This is my baby's 1st birthday. She has alot of toys already, so I'm wondering if it's okay to put ...
A: I am so sorry,but there is never a proper way to ask for gifts on an invitation. You may never ...
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| wedding shower gifts | 1/5/2008 |
Q: My spouse and I are among 18 couples hosting a couples wedding shower. The cost will be about $300. ...
A: This is an easy one,and it applies to any party,event or celebration: You are never required to give ...
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| gifting etiquette | 1/5/2008 |
Q: I received Christmas cookies on a pretty holiday plate from my neighbors. Am I supposed to return ...
A: Err on the side of caution by returning her plate. If she meant that to be part of the gift,she will ...
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| becoming a debutante | 1/4/2008 |
Q: How does someone go about becoming a deb? The lines aren't clear. I know that my city has one every ...
A: Jackie Kennedy did it by putting on a $60.00 dress and appearing at a tea party her mother gave in ...
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| etiquette on entertaining and being sick w/flu | 1/4/2008 |
Q: On Christmas Eve my family went over to my sister-in-laws to celebrate. When we arrived my ...
A: While I certainly understand your revulsion at having to spend time with someone who was ...
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| addressing physician | 1/4/2008 |
Q: we are throwing my sister-in-law a surprise party and want to inviter her boss who is a physician ...
A: The honorific Dr. replaces Mr/Mrs/Ms. So the envelope would read: Dr. John T Frederick ...
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| Home school Graduation announcement | 1/4/2008 |
Q: I will soon be graduating from an online homeschool program and receiving something similar to a ...
A: I am happy to announce my Graduation from the * Online Homeschool Program ...
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| Bride-to-be gift request | 1/4/2008 |
Q: My cousin is to be married this upcoming summer (2008), she and her fiance have lived together ...
A: It is not the job of a parent to hold back when they see that their child (even as an adult) is ...
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| Table Manners | 1/3/2008 |
Q: My friend invited me over to just sit and chat.While I was over he prepared some chili.He then ...
A: You did exactly the right thing by refusing to eat that which you did not want. You don't need to ...
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| wedding party gathering | 1/3/2008 |
Q: My fiancee and I would like to have our wedding party meet each other prior to the wedding. We have ...
A: Sounds like fun. The key here is to treat it as you would any potential group gathering. It isn't ...
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| 40th birthday | 1/3/2008 |
Q: We are invited to a 40th birthday party for my cousin's husband. Do we bring a gift and what is an ...
A: You are never required to take a gift,but you certainly may if you feel like doing so. As for what ...
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| address label | 1/2/2008 |
Q: In my upcoming wedding, I am not sure how to properly address things where a husband a wife are both ...
A: Please use two lines on the envelope: Dr. Jeffery Wagner ...
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| bridesmaid refusal? | 1/2/2008 |
Q: I was asked to be a bridesmaid in an upcoming summer wedding. I have only known the bride for a ...
A: Kappos, Certainly! Tell her how honored you were that she thinks well enough of you to ask you to ...
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| thank you notes | 1/2/2008 |
Q: I mailed out thank you notes for Christmas gifts I received. One of my co-workers said I shouldn't ...
A: When is it ever wrong to say thank you? Yes,it is generally accepted that if you thank someone in ...
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| Repeat Marriages | 1/2/2008 |
Q: I have a close friend that will be getting married for a third time, it is his first. She wants the ...
A: The best course of action is to keep your thoughts to yourself. Yes,it is sort of ridiculous for a ...
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| Etiquette on how to answer personal questions | 1/2/2008 |
Q: I was wondering the best way to answer questions that seem too personal or nobody else's business, ...
A: You never have to answer any question that you consider too invasive. As to the rent question,you ...
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| Failed Adoption Gift Etiquette | 1/2/2008 |
Q: My girlfriend recently experienced a failed adoption. She had a few baby showers hosted by family, ...
A: Whatever she wants to do is the right thing. Anyone who has suffered such heartbreak is not expected ...
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| Dinner Party Etiquette: Taking Leftovers Home | 1/2/2008 |
Q: I have a curiosity question. I was recently at a dinner party in which I was asked to bring the ...
A: Leaving it behind would be the polite thing to do as the guest. You brought it for their dinner ...
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| Appropriateness of Gift | 12/31/2007 |
Q: I am hoping that you might be able to help me with a Green Gift that was received. As the mom, I am ...
A: Bettor, No,that was a very strange gift. Far too personal and far too public. You were not wrong ...
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| Sending Late Condolence gift | 12/31/2007 |
Q: I just found out a friend, for whom I have not seen in 4 months, lost her father about 3 months ago. ...
A: Your friend is no where near finished mourning the loss of her dear father. Please,go ahead and do ...
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| Gift Giving etiquette | 12/31/2007 |
Q: Is it appropriate to give an eleven year old child a gift set that includes deodorant?
A: Some children mature faster than others. There are eleven year olds who need to use that particular ...
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| Addressing a Married Friend | 12/31/2007 |
Q: My friend got married a few year back and is having a child. How should I address him in ...
A: If you are writing a private letter to your friend, feel free to address it to him alone. If it is a ...
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| Dinner party at a restaurant | 12/31/2007 |
Q: I want to have a surprise 30th birthday party for my husband but unfortunately, my house is too ...
A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford. No one should ever have to 'pay for the ...
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| Friends in common | 12/31/2007 |
Q: When a friend introduces two mutual friends, the two mutual friends really hit it off, having even ...
A: Technically,once you have been introduced to someone, you are free to pursue a friendship with them ...
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| birthday party invitation | 12/30/2007 |
Q: Hey, I want to have a dinner birthday party for my Mother's 75th birthday at a local restaurant but ...
A: I'm sorry,but there is never a polite way to ask anyone to pay for the privilege of being a guest. A ...
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| official domestic partner aniversary date | 12/30/2007 |
Q: when would are anniversary date be? the day he said yes, or the date on are domestic partner papers. ...
A: Whenever the couple decides that the anniversary should be. Some couples celebrate the day they ...
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| my daughters birthday | 12/29/2007 |
Q: My daughters birthday is right after Christmas. She is having a big party with 25 friends, I've even ...
A: It is never right to mention gifts on an invitation. Guests shouldn't be asked to pay for the ...
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| Etiquette regarding donations | 12/29/2007 |
Q: What is the proper method of notifying an individual of a donation? If someone asks for donations ...
A: The organization in question will generally send a note to the person (or family) letting them know ...
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| Table setting | 12/29/2007 |
Q: I have 2 identical china patterns with the exception of the borders: one setting has silver, while ...
A: Good heavens! Don't listen to that advice. Very few people have complete sets of china. Either they ...
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| 70th Surprise Birthday Dinner | 12/29/2007 |
Q: we are giving our mother in law a surprise dinner party at a restaraunt. How do we say on the ...
A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford. Please consider adjusting your plans to ...
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| Wedding Invitations | 12/29/2007 |
Q: How do I word wedding invitations to say that in lieu of gifts we'd like money for a down payment on ...
A: Simply put,you don't. No bride and groom is ever due any kind of gift from anyone. To mention gifts ...
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| bratty spoiled kids or lack of manners? | 12/29/2007 |
Q: My husband and I have our hands full with our 21 month old daughter, whom we are already teaching ...
A: OH DEAR. I am so sorry that circumstances prevented me from getting to your question sooner. I hope ...
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| black and white ball women | 12/28/2007 |
Q: What should women wear to a black and white ball. I will be attending alone. Please include glove ...
A: What part of the country? What are your hosts expecting? Black tie? White? Semi-formal? There are ...
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| Calling a spouse "the girlfriend" or "the old lady" | 12/28/2007 |
Q: I'm 35 years old and my common-law boyfriend calls me "the old lady" or "the girlfriend". I told ...
A: If the nickname is upsetting to you,then yes,you have every right to object to it. Now,as to how you ...
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| gift exchange | 12/28/2007 |
Q: What's the best way to handle a brother who doesn't repricate in gift exchange for holidays and ...
A: No one is ever required to give gifts to anyone for any reason. Nor is anyone entitled to receive a ...
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| Nieces inviting themselves | 12/28/2007 |
Q: My 12 year old niece (actually, second cousin)invited herself to stay with me for a week so I asked ...
A: Why are you letting children run your life? There is a very handy word in the English language you ...
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| inviting boyfriends to Christmas | 12/27/2007 |
Q: my questions is regardiing my sister-in-law. We always have Christmas Breakfast(Brunch) at my house ...
A: Just wait until July when it won't be a hot button issue and say "I was thinking about ...
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| Family After Sticky Divorce | 12/27/2007 |
Q: My house is the place for the special family gatherings. My husband has one brother who has 2 adult ...
A: I'm with you on this one. There is too much history of painful and deceptive behavior for those kids ...
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| Bad Manners or Personal Choice? | 12/27/2007 |
Q: My father's been staying with us over the holidays. Last night, my father bought fish for dinner ...
A: Your husband could have said "Chuck,that is so nice of you to go out and get fish for dinner! You ...
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| immoral behavior | 12/27/2007 |
Q: In-law family members are aware of my husband's immoral behavior and abuse. A recent separation has ...
A: "Cutting" people is an old an effective tactic. It should be used sparingly,but you seem to have a ...
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| addressing a thank you note | 12/27/2007 |
Q: I am unsure about addressing a thank you note to a student (age 11) and her mother who invited me ...
A: On the outer envelope.please write: Mrs. John Doe Miss Delia ...
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| New years eve party | 12/26/2007 |
Q: When having a buffet style new years eve party, very casual. What are the appropriate decorations? ...
A: Christmas decorations may be properly kept up until "Twelfth Night". Which is celebrated January 5th ...
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| Declining gifts | 12/26/2007 |
Q: My sister-in-law don't speak to each other and I no longer go to my husband's family functions ...
A: Please do not give in to the impulse to explain to this woman why she is so horrible. I am sure she ...
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| Thank you note after a long, ongoing illness | 12/26/2007 |
Q: I have had a longterm and ongoing illness with four brain surgeries in the past year. I owe at least ...
A: Good heavens you have been through quite a bit,haven't you? Please,do what is easiest on you at this ...
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| Hostess Etiquette | 12/26/2007 |
Q: If you are related to the hostess and just attending the party, who should be the first to greet the ...
A: I would hope that decent civil people who are glad to see each other (or at least pretending) would ...
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| invite | 12/26/2007 |
Q: Our neighbors invited my husband and six year old over to their Christmas party and not me. I am ...
A: Was it a written invitation or a verbal? I find it very hard to believe that they would exclude you ...
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| Christmas card etiquette | 12/25/2007 |
Q: A friend of mine is married to a man and together they have two small sons(6 & 3). Her husband has 3 ...
A: If a family wishes to send a photo of everyone (even those who do not live at home any longer)they ...
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| Thank you for welcome gifts. | 12/25/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend and I recently moved to a new home. The neighborhood is very small (12 houses) and ...
A: Yes,please. Lock in the good will of these neighbors by writing them each a note. Dear Sam and ...
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| food allegies at dinner party | 12/25/2007 |
Q: I have been invited to a very small dinner party (one other couple)that will take place in three ...
A: Allergic as in could die if you are around it? If this is the case,do not stand upon ceremony,speak ...
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| entering another's home | 12/23/2007 |
Q: Just wondering if it's unreasonable to expect someone to wait at your front door until they are ...
A: The trick of telling people who are always running late that the event is earlier has never appealed ...
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| Boorish Son-in-Law | 12/23/2007 |
Q: I understand your response about not criticizing a daughter's husband. My question is how much ...
A: Please do not mistake good manners with being a doormat for potentially criminal actions. Refraining ...
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| Funerals | 12/22/2007 |
Q: My husband's ex-mother-in-law has died. My husband and his first wife were married 15 years, and ...
A: A token gesture is all that is called for here. This is more about the adult son your husband and ...
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| etiquette | 12/22/2007 |
Q: etiquette gifts for ex-daughter-in-law, what is really proper?
A: , Every person and every situation is different. Some divorces are civil,some are contentious. ...
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| Debutante Ball | 12/22/2007 |
Q: My 18yr. old daughter is invited to a Debutante Ball this month. What color and type of dress is ...
A: You will likely see other girls in every color and style of dress,pay no attention to them! You ...
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| Restaurant etiquette | 12/22/2007 |
Q: Before beginning to eat I always wait for all at the table to be served. Is there a magic number of ...
A: Rick, Yes....one. One person to say "Please,everyone,go ahead and start if you wish. I am sure the ...
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| Invitation | 12/22/2007 |
Q: I asked a friend to spend an afternoon with me and she accepted. I made some plans and checked they ...
A: Yes,I think you deserve better and can do better than this woman! She wants to change plans,okay. ...
|
| Christmas party | 12/22/2007 |
Q: My friend invited me to thier Christmas party. A couple weeks later she told me that things had ...
A: Why were you not allowed to come to a party that they were hosting,even if it most/all of the other ...
|
| graduation announcements | 12/22/2007 |
Q: I just graduated from a university, but I didn't send announcements because I had one class that I ...
A: Absolutely! In fact,the only proper time to send an announcement is after the event has occurred. ...
|
| anniversary card | 12/22/2007 |
Q: If the spouse has died, do you still give them an anniversary card? If not, what do you give ...
A: As the minister/rabbi/judge said,'till death do you part'. There really is no anniversary to ...
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| Refusal of a Gift | 12/21/2007 |
Q: It has been almost 4 years since I last spoke to my biological father. I broke off contact once I ...
A: Write a note saying that this is a difficult decision for you,but you have come to feel that you ...
|
| Best way to handle rude behavior | 12/21/2007 |
Q: At a recent business social gathering, the guest speaker was an old friend of mine I hadn't seen in ...
A: The 'most correct' thing for you to do is to pretend it didn't happen. It is much easier to play by ...
|
| more Christmas Card questions | 12/21/2007 |
Q: My mother sends our Christmas card addressed to "my name" and family. Is this acceptable or rude?
A: Acceptable,but a little odd. Most of the time a John Doe and family address line is reserved for ...
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| Should I return a graduation gift, and if so, how? | 12/20/2007 |
Q: Last weekend, I participated in commencement exercises, but afterwards found out that I didn't pass ...
A: If this is a course you are planning on repeating as soon as you can manage it,please just keep the ...
|
| Gift Giving for the Grandchildren | 12/20/2007 |
Q: Every year we have a certain Grandparent that is unfair in the gift giving department. Some of the ...
A: Have the spouse who has the 'bad parent' speak to them. It cannot be the in-law. Explain that it is ...
|
| Hat etiquette | 12/20/2007 |
Q: I was always taught not to take off one's hat and place it on a table, especially the dining table. ...
A: Yes,there is such a rule. It is not the biggest error a person could make in his or her life,but ...
|
| addressing retired military | 12/20/2007 |
Q: When writing a letter to a retired enlisted military person, how should you address the envelope? ...
A: Welcome to etiquette post 9/11. This one is a gray area. The Department of Defense recommends that ...
|
| Candles at luncheons | 12/19/2007 |
Q: We are having an all company business/holiday luncheon and I wish to find out the rule on whether ...
A: Candles are never to be used at the table during daylight hours. Think of them as the DMV wishes us ...
|
| Etiquette | 12/19/2007 |
Q: My niece just lost her unborn baby at 4 months along and my brother in-law sent them a card to ...
A: Anyone who has suffered the loss of a loved one is exempt from anything and everything approaching ...
|
| Addressing card to couple living together | 12/19/2007 |
Q: My daughter is living with the father of her daughter, but they are only engaged, not married yet. ...
A: Please use two lines: Jane Thompson Robert Doe 675 ...
|
| Employee Manners | 12/19/2007 |
Q: I hired an acquaintance for a longterm job overseas. He is the best kind of human being and shows ...
A: Yep. Rock and a hard place my friend. However,this must be dealt with and not just for his sake and ...
|
| Doctorial Graduation Ceremony | 12/15/2007 |
Q: During all the Pomp and Stance of graduation, is it proper etiquette for a doctoral candidate who is ...
A: Yes. Even if it were a fly by night diploma mill,a graduate gets to wear all that stuff. Really,it ...
|
| Party Un-Invitation | 12/14/2007 |
Q: A sorority sister had a party for her husband and only invited "certain" sorority sisters to the ...
A: How do you tastefully let her know that she has offended the "left-out sisters", but yet not sound ...
|
| Leaving dinner party early as habit (rude?) | 12/14/2007 |
Q: My wife and I generally dine with family on Friday nights at a variety of local restaurants. When ...
A: You are correct on this one. Now,how you plan to change the behavior is up to you. This seems like ...
|
| Etiquette Address Question | 12/14/2007 |
Q: Is it appropriate to address an envelope to a woman whose husband is deceased using his first name? ...
A: A woman never uses the honorific Mrs. with her given first name. She may be Mrs.John Doe until she ...
|
| Addressing Married Couples | 12/13/2007 |
Q: When addressing married couples eg. John and Mary Smith, does one write "Mr. John and Mrs. Mary ...
A: "Mr and Mrs John Smith" is correct as is using two lines: John Smith Mary Smith 123 Doe ...
|
| delayed death announcement / Xmas letter | 12/13/2007 |
Q: My wife died a year ago. We would send out an annual Xmas letter to distant friends telling what ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for your loss. Use your own judgement here. I would suggest writing a ...
|
| Singing at the table... | 12/13/2007 |
Q: A friend and I were discussing this at dinner this evening and wondered where, or what, the origins ...
A: " No singing at the table, No whistling in. bed, Or the devil will get you, As soon. as you're ...
|
| Addressing Christmas Card in his, mine, ours household | 12/11/2007 |
Q: Typically, when addressing holiday cards to a family, I'll write The Jones Family & their repective ...
A: Please use as many lines as it takes to get everyone included. Mr. and Mrs. John Batten ...
|
| Sending children's birthday party invites when the guest's parents are divorces | 12/11/2007 |
Q: We invited all of my son's classmates to his birthday party. A few of the children's parents are ...
A: In a perfect world the parents would still be able to communicate with each other about all aspects ...
|
| wedding anniversary card | 12/11/2007 |
Q: . can you tell me whether my husband should give his brother a greeting card for his wedding ...
A: It is only 'mandatory' for the couple and any children they have together to recognize the ...
|
| Christmas Wish List Eitquette | 12/11/2007 |
Q: Here's the situation: I subscribe to a newsletter put out by a singer from Tennessee. The ...
A: YES. I don't know what more to say about this. It is stunningly poor etiquette to ever reference ...
|
| "Christmas Invitation" | 12/11/2007 |
Q: My wife's work is having a Christmas party during non working hours. The invitation does not address ...
A: Lush, If the spouses are not named on the invitation,then they are not welcome. I'd have your wife ...
|
| Time frame to give Graduation gift | 12/10/2007 |
Q: What is the time frame to give someone a graduation gift from college?
A: The closer to the graduation date the better,of course, but there are always exceptions. If you ...
|
| Christmas Cards | 12/10/2007 |
Q: We want to send a Christmas card to our niece and her mother. Mother is living with her daughter. ...
A: Since it is your niece's house,please put her name on the first line and her mother's on the ...
|
| Blazer with waistcoat | 12/10/2007 |
Q: is it ok to wear a waistcoat with a blazer many thanks Tony
A: My gut reaction is "no",that the blazer is too informal or unstructured to go well with a ...
|
| standing up when im being introduce to someone | 12/10/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend and i had an argument last week during a bussines/social event. First while I was ...
A: In a business setting,there are no 'differences' between men and women. A woman does not expect ...
|
| wearing white | 12/10/2007 |
Q: Is it ok to wear white in February or march? My sister is going to the Westminster dog show. She ...
A: Is it really white or is it egg shell,ivory,cream or any of the hundred names? True white is not ...
|
| No Eye Contact | 12/10/2007 |
Q: Background: I was sitting at a bar with a male friend. X, a male friend of my friend approached us, ...
A: I think you were right to think that the girlfriend had no manners. Your friend didn't help the ...
|
| Signing Holiday Cards | 12/9/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend has about 300 holiday cards to send out to various personnel that work with him and has ...
A: I am going to assume here that the majority of these people are not known to you. If you were his ...
|
| Addressing a PhD as Dr. | 12/9/2007 |
Q: I recently sent out several invitations for a dinner party and one went to a couple where one was ...
A: Rob,Rob,Rob. Here is where you went wrong: "When, in return, I suggested that a Ph.D. shouldn't ...
|
| gifting obligation to ex-husbands niece's and nephew's | 12/9/2007 |
Q: I have been divorced for about a year now. The ex lives 4 hours away. I live by his family. I see ...
A: You are never under any obligation to by a gift for anyone. Ever. Only you can decide if you ...
|
| SYMPATHY THANK YOU CARDS | 12/9/2007 |
Q: Can you please help me with wording for writing thank you's for people whou have sent mass cards. I ...
A: It's a matter of writing a few lines from the heart. "Dear Mrs. Parks, The mass card you sent in ...
|
| Greeting etiquette when visiting | 12/9/2007 |
Q: What is the proper etiquette when it comes to greeting people? If someone has known a person for an ...
A: No one is supposed to say hello first. Everyone is supposed to extend a greeting as soon as they ...
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| giving out gi | 12/9/2007 |
Q: I am graduating from college soon and feel I should give my husband and kids a gift for supporting ...
A: A wife and a mother never needs an excuse to give her family gifts. For any reason or no reason,it's ...
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| more pizza eating etiquette | 12/8/2007 |
Q: My wife Lynne is a picky eater who picks much of the topping off of pizza leaving it in a pile on ...
A: While they shouldn't have to eat what toppings they don't care for,piling them on a napkin is ...
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| invite to birth son's wedding problem | 12/7/2007 |
Q: When I was in college, I got pregnant and gave the baby up for adoption. Since our priest arranged ...
A: I am so glad to know that things are working out for you. As I am blind to the errors in my own ...
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| receiving 'charity'? | 12/6/2007 |
Q: My wife and I just closed a business. Acquaintances of ours, parents of our daughter's friend, were ...
A: How odd and how awkward. Did these people misunderstand your situation? You don't say how old the ...
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| Housewarming Gifts? Do's & Dont's | 12/6/2007 |
Q: I just purchased my very first home, therefore I do not have many household items since I have ...
A: To ever mention gift on an invitation is wrong. The only time you may ever express a wish for ...
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| house gift | 12/6/2007 |
Q: I will be traveling with a girlfriend of mine we will be staying at her sister in laws house one ...
A: Something disposable/consumable. Flowers,candy,fruit.. any temporary luxury item. You don't want to ...
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| Male co worker with no manners | 12/6/2007 |
Q: I have a co worker that feels that he is perfectly correct in his thinking that his bodily functions ...
A: Ew. Well,you certainly cannot say anything to him directly. Take it up with management and just be ...
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| Christmas Cards | 12/6/2007 |
Q: This seems a no-brainer, but I'm stumped at trying not to make my older children feel left out. ...
A: Generally,you only include the people who are living under your roof. The thought being that the ...
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| a small friendly get together | 12/6/2007 |
Q: My friend and her husband are having a small informal Holiday get together. It is an open ...
A: By ten the party will be pretty well over and you will be denying yourself a chance to visit with ...
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| daughter graduating from medical school | 12/6/2007 |
Q: My daughter will be graduating from medical school soon. I am unconfortable in sending out ...
A: Congratulations! A medical degree! That is quite an accomplishment and you must be very proud. I am ...
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| Baby Shower Gift Etiquette | 12/5/2007 |
Q: One of my cousins had a baby shower a couple of weeks ago. Sadly, the baby was stillborn. What ...
A: Whatever she wants to do is the right thing. Anyone who has suffered such a loss is not expected to ...
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| donor listing | 12/5/2007 |
Q: My husband is a medical doctor and we have always been listed as Dr. and Mrs. Robert XXX. The time ...
A: The only way to do it is have two lines if you keep the "Dr" in front of his name. You cannot ...
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| Inlaw etiqutte | 12/5/2007 |
Q: Every holiday my husband and I are at the mercy of his families schedule (my family is out of the ...
A: "How do you let other family members know that you are wanting to create your own traditions and ...
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| 50th wedding anniversary dinner party | 12/4/2007 |
Q: My parents will be celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary this winter. We would like to have a ...
A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford. Please just invite everyone to the restaurant ...
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| Thank you note | 12/4/2007 |
Q: Should we write a Thank you letter for my husbands Christmas Party? The party was held out of town ...
A: How could thanking someone for something that they have already done be considered 'brown nosing'? ...
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| Family gatherings at our house | 12/3/2007 |
Q: My wife and I have the big house and all that goes with it for family holiday entertaining. We love ...
A: If she gets sick if she eats a big meal later than 4 PM,then by all mean,fix the woman a plate! Tell ...
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| Social Introductions "boyfriend"? | 12/3/2007 |
Q: I am a divorced woman, age 40, who is seriously dating a man in his 50's. We are not living together ...
A: Oh,but the word "friend" is the absolute BEST word in the dictionary. It can convey an air of ...
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| How to ask guests to bring spirits to a B-day party | 12/3/2007 |
Q: I am hosting a bday party in a very nice hotel suite equipped with everything. I am ordered many ...
A: If you're under the age of say,25,just go ahead and ask. If you are above that magical "We're all ...
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| What is the socially appropriate way to talk about my divorce? | 12/3/2007 |
Q: I'd like to know what proper social etiquette is when it comes to talking about my divorce. More ...
A: You may say "My husband was stationed there." That is certainly a true statement and if the ...
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| My boss brings home holiday present given to the office | 12/3/2007 |
Q: Last year, I was not working at my current job during the holiday season. I found out from my ...
A: In the strictest terms of etiquette,you would say nothing and bear this doctor's stinginess in ...
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| New Years party food/drink request | 12/3/2007 |
Q: I'm having a New Years party consisting of a dozen of close friends and family. I'm looking to ...
A: God,in His infinite wisdom,came up with the "pitch in" shortly after Adam and Eve were tossed from ...
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| Etiquette - guest house | 11/30/2007 |
Q: We have a small but comfortable guesthouse. We enjoy having people (usually family) occasionally.We ...
A: I think we're saying the same thing,just using different terms. Mental illness is ...
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| etiquette of borrowing | 11/30/2007 |
Q: What is the etiquette involved with borrowing other peoples things?
A: Tanya, If you loan something out,don't expect to get it back at all. If you cannot live with that ...
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| Staying with a relative for extended period of time | 11/30/2007 |
Q: My husband, two children and I moved across country recently. We stayed with my brother and his ...
A: Your heart and mind are in the right place here. Please follow your instinct and choose something ...
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| Debutante Ball | 11/29/2007 |
Q: My wife and I have been invited to attend a Debutante Ball by one of my partners. His daughter is ...
A: Only a parent or Godparent may poperly give a gift to the girl making her debut. It is ...
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| holiday etiquette | 11/29/2007 |
Q: I just ended a "friendship" that was bad for me. We have same friends tho... should I still go to ...
A: Jennifer, It is best to remove yourself from the situation entirely for the time being. If you ...
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| calling parents for the holidays | 11/28/2007 |
Q: Regarding the holidays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, Birthdays, etc... Who should call to say have a ...
A: You were raised to do the calling,but your kids were not. How did that happen? There is no rule ...
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| Debutante Ball | 11/28/2007 |
Q: We are not attending our neices deb. ball. What is the protocal for the night of the ball as a gift ...
A: Please send a bouquet of white flowers to her with a note wishing her luck on the day of her party. ...
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| Hostess Etiquette | 11/27/2007 |
Q: When my sister-in-law hosts Thanksgiving dinner or any other event, for that matter, she always ...
A: She's either passive aggressive or OCD. It's your call. A good host/ess puts more emphasis on ...
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| thank you notes | 11/27/2007 |
Q: I was recently in a bad car accident and was hospitalized for 3 weeks. During that time I was ...
A: Just write from the heart. Tell them what it meant to you that they cared enough to trek out to be ...
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| Christmas Card Letter after Divorce | 11/27/2007 |
Q: My ex husband and I sent letters with our Christmas Cards every year until last year when we were ...
A: You are not trying to shame him and you are not writing anything that defames or demeans ...
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| grandsons christening | 11/27/2007 |
Q: what exactly does the grandfather give
A: There are no restrictions on what a grandparent may give to their grandchild. It can be anything ...
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| hostess gifts | 11/27/2007 |
Q: Do you send a thank you note for a hostess gift. It seems like a thank you for a thank you.Thanks!
A: The note doesn't have to be strictly limited to the gift. You say how glad you were to see them,how ...
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| Nephew's death | 11/26/2007 |
Q: My nephew has died in an accidental death. He is my only brother's son. Is it appropriate for me ...
A: Do whatever you need and want to do for your brother and any other member of your nephew's family. ...
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| Boyfriend who lost a friend gift | 11/26/2007 |
Q: My boyfriend of 2 months just lost his good friend in a car accident and I was wondering what is the ...
A: This is going to be a very difficult and confusing time for your boyfriend. If he has never suffered ...
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| Ex-husband's funeral, children over 18 | 11/26/2007 |
Q: I was married to my children's father for 20 years and he passed away last week unexpectedly. Our ...
A: You do not wish to go. Your legally adult children have told you that you must do what is best for ...
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| Graduation announcement etiquette | 11/26/2007 |
Q: My daughter is currently employed and we need to know the appropriate company/office recipients for ...
A: There is no need to send anyone in her company an announcement. Announcements are a way to convey ...
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| Bar Mitzvah Invitation Reciprocity | 11/25/2007 |
Q: Last year my daughter invited her whole grade at her small school (35 kids) to her bat mitzvah, and ...
A: Please,please tell me that you didn't embarrass this family and yours by demanding to know why your ...
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| Christmas Drop in | 11/24/2007 |
Q: I'm not sure if you are the right person to ask, but thought I would try anyway since all my ...
A: A 'drop in' party,also known as an 'Open House' is most traditionally 2-4 hours in length. Afternoon ...
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| Table clothes | 11/24/2007 |
Q: What is the proper overhang for a table cloth?
A: Emily Post circa 1940 says "Half a yard all around" but the fabulously stylish Jackie Kennedy had ...
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| etiquette for Christmas party | 11/24/2007 |
Q: My wife and I are invited to a Christmas party at a friends house. We have known this couple for 15 ...
A: You are not required to take them anything,but think along the lines of a fancy box of chocolates or ...
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| Thanksgiving dinner | 11/23/2007 |
Q: my boyfriend and I were invited to Thanksgiving dinner at his cousins home. I am a diabetic and they ...
A: Your boyfriend is correct here. It is not up to a host/ess to remember and accommodate every ...
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| initiating contact with friend | 11/23/2007 |
Q: When a friend/acquaintance is due home from a trip or vacation, is it proper to call them or wait ...
A: There are no hard and fast rules about this. Everyone must use their own best judgement based on the ...
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| RSVP Etiqutte | 11/23/2007 |
Q: My wife and I have been invited to a party at the home of my boss. The number to RSVP to on the ...
A: As you are both listed on the ivitation,either of you may call. If your wife is more comfortable ...
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| Dinner party gift | 11/21/2007 |
Q: I have been invited to a dinner party for eighteen at a foreign ambassadors residence. I am friends ...
A: Take nothing,but send your hostess flowers the next day with a note of thanks. Use the formal (and ...
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| Wedding Invitation Ettiquette | 11/20/2007 |
Q: This past year 4 of my close friends from college all got engaged and the weddings were this summer ...
A: This is a question only you can answer. I don't know the people involved or how much their ...
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| Debutante Etiquette | 11/20/2007 |
Q: My husband, my children (both unmarried adults) and I are invited to a party honoring a debutante. ...
A: Only the parents (or someone so close to the girl that they wouldn't need to ask) should give gifts. ...
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| etiquette regarding exes | 11/20/2007 |
Q: My husband has a daughter who is 20 years old. He was never married to her mother but he did however ...
A: As this is her child's christening,she may invite whomever she wishes. I'm sorry if this causes ...
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| Breaking Holiday Tradition | 11/20/2007 |
Q: How can I gently break a holiday tradition that some may be happy with but others may be sad about. ...
A: This conversation would have gone over better in July, when the season was long past and not in the ...
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| college grad | 11/19/2007 |
Q: My son graduated college in may but people keep asking if he is out of school How can i send a ...
A: An announcement is merely a means of conveying information to those who may be interested in ...
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| proper addressing fundraising thank you envelopes | 11/17/2007 |
Q: We held a fundraiser for a family member and we had planned to hand write the adresses for the ...
A: Since you hate receiving pre-printed envelopes,you shouldn't send them out. It's not wrong to use ...
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| The "third" question | 11/16/2007 |
Q: If I am addressing an envelope to John and Mary Francis, and he is the III (third), how do I do it? ...
A: Make no mention of the III. By using first names,John and Mary Francis are unique. It is unlikely ...
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| children coming to the door to ask for bathroom permission | 11/16/2007 |
Q: I just recently had a falling out with a neighbor. The argument was over her 8 year old son coming ...
A: Oh for Heaven's sake! What is wrong with that woman? Why did she not point out to her child that he ...
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| Compahy Christmas Party | 11/15/2007 |
Q: I work for a doctor's office. Our company Christmas party is going to be held at one of our ...
A: No,you would just say "Jack and Lisa Smith's house". To put "Dr. Jack" is awkward as well as being ...
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| friendship | 11/15/2007 |
Q: If I am invited by one friend to go shopping, is it okay to invite another friend who really doesn't ...
A: Since you were not the one issuing the initial invitation,please ask your friend first before ...
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| birthday announcements | 11/15/2007 |
Q: Our neighbor had said she was going to combine her sons birthdays this year and have a party ...
A: Dania, I am not sure what your neighbor is thinking or what she means by it. However,an ...
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| Christmas gifts for kids spouses | 11/15/2007 |
Q: Both of my children got married this past summer and we are looking ahead to the first Christmas ...
A: As I get letters from the new daughter in laws about this, I am happy to share what I know. They get ...
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| Christmas cards soon after death of wife | 11/14/2007 |
Q: My wife passed away Sept 29. I don't know if I should send Christmas cards. I certainly will not ...
A: Please know how sorry I am for you loss. You are going through a terrible time right now and nothing ...
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| Bereavement gift from coworkers | 11/14/2007 |
Q: Our building will "sometimes" collect money to purchase sympathy gifts when a co-worker's relative ...
A: I have never heard of a 'bereavement gift',I'm sorry to say. Co-workers will collect money to buy ...
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| WEDDING ETIQUETTE | 11/14/2007 |
Q: For my daughter's wedding - where do I seat my mother's caregiver. She is the daughter of the lady ...
A: Let common sense be your guide here. How likely is it that your Mother will need help or attention ...
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| Terrible guilt about invitations | 11/14/2007 |
Q: We have a nice home but it's not huge. We live in a neighborhood filled with people our age, who we ...
A: Yes,you are worrying over nothing! You have a limited amount of space in your home. You and your ...
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| business card protocol | 11/14/2007 |
Q: I am a Realtor, and hold several designations directly related to my business (GRI,SRES,ePRO,CRS). ...
A: Yes..after awhile people just get confused or stop reading. So just pick the three that are most ...
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| lutheran ordination | 11/14/2007 |
Q: Could you please advise me on what would be appropriate recognition for a male Lutheran candidate ...
A: You don't have to get him anything unless you expressly wish to do so. Here are a few ideas,but ...
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| Donation and Critique? | 11/13/2007 |
Q: I have a question regarding the etiquette of sending a donation and letter to an institution that I ...
A: By all means,if an institution that you loved and was key to making you who you are is going down ...
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| Family members divorcing | 11/13/2007 |
Q: My husband has a cousin who he has been very close to since childhood. We just found out that her ...
A: You call her right away. Just say "Gina,I just spoke to your Mom and she told me the news...how are ...
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| 50th Bithday Party | 11/13/2007 |
Q: Who should pay? I am having a bithday party for my husband'sc 50th birthday at a winery. Are we ...
A: Your question reads "I am having a birthday party..",so therefore,you are the hostess and ...
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| No Host Bar | 11/13/2007 |
Q: We're having a party where there will be a bar but we don't want to be obligated to pay for ...
A: Please have no bar at all. Your guests will take what is offered to them if you present it without ...
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| Fiance guarding my back in social situations | 11/12/2007 |
Q: I was recently at a function with my fiance and his co-workers/friends. We were having a good time ...
A: Karla, You did exactly right thing. I know you walked away because you were stunned,but even if ...
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| introduction | 11/12/2007 |
Q: When introducing yourself in person or over the phone is it appropriate to refer to yourself as Mr., ...
A: Please use both your first and last name. It is too (potentially) confusing to just use your ...
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| Christmas Gift Giving | 11/12/2007 |
Q: I have a very large family, and I'm recently married, which makes it larger. My husband and I are ...
A: Size of family doesn't matter a bit,you never have to buy gifts for anyone simply because they might ...
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| ballet | 11/12/2007 |
Q: My 8 year old daughter will be dancing in the nutcracker and she will be doing four performances. I ...
A: Flowers may be presented either on 'opening night' or 'closing'. Since these are for an eight year ...
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| greetings | 11/12/2007 |
Q: If your are in a room and someone comes in, who is say hello first? The person who just came in or ...
A: Neophytou, One person should greet another as soon as they see them. It should be so instantaneous ...
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| chrtistmas Gift | 11/11/2007 |
Q: My daughter has a best friend Barb who has 2 little girls that I buy Christmas Gifts for every year. ...
A: No,it isn't appropriate! Gracious,that was bold of her. Just ignore the e-mail. You didn't get it,it ...
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| bridal shower | 11/11/2007 |
Q: What sort of present should the mother of the bride bring to the wedding shower?
A: She doesn't have to bring anything as she is presumably buying and giving things to her daughter ...
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| Sharing Expenses | 11/11/2007 |
Q: If a couple and a single person are going on a trip should the single person have to pay half the ...
A: Marilyn, A third is more equitable,but if the single feels some resistance from the couple,s/he ...
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| Christmas wish list | 11/11/2007 |
Q: I am writing as a married, mother of three children, with a question regarding my husband's family. ...
A: Oh dear. No,you are not wrong to feel as you do. Who wouldn't be offended by such unsolicited ...
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| Donations rather than Gifts | 11/10/2007 |
Q: My daughter is having a Birthday party and rather than gifts we would like the guest to bring a ...
A: While giving to charity is a wonderful thing,there is simply no way to politely mention gifts of any ...
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| Etiquette for RSVP on a child's party | 11/10/2007 |
Q: I was wondering what is the proper etiquette for responding to a child's birthday party. I am having ...
A: While I can certainly understand your frustration,no good can come of printing out a page on RSVP ...
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| girlfriend visiting ex husband | 11/9/2007 |
Q: my girlfriend is traveling to california for a 12 day visit with her adult (20 and 24)children..she ...
A: No,your reaction isn't wrong. This is your relationship, these are you thoughts and feelings,speak ...
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| terminology | 11/9/2007 |
Q: Is there a term (like parents-in-law) for the parents of married couples? Thanks!
A: Parents-in-law never caught on a phrase. People generally say "My husband's parents" or "My in-laws" ...
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| different languages | 11/8/2007 |
Q: When ever we have family events with my husbands mother and sisters they speak Spanish to each other ...
A: Where is your husband in all of this,please?! Why isn't the man who promised to love and cherish you ...
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| who is saluting first ? | 11/8/2007 |
Q: Me and my coworker, we work both in the same office. My question is who is saluting first if one is ...
A: If by saluting you mean say hello or greet,the answer is you both should say it almost at the same ...
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| Debutante's Ball | 11/8/2007 |
Q: Miss Gamble, I was reading another question somebody had asked you previously and it briefly ...
A: Debutante ball is a term that covers many different parties and dances. Some with their own ...
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| Graduation Attire | 11/8/2007 |
Q: I recently graduated from a small career college and we are having a "graduation ceremony". There ...
A: Oh all these new clothing classifications make me crazy. "Resort Cocktail" "Red Carpet" "Zoobliee ...
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| Generous With Your Time/House/Money | 11/8/2007 |
Q: I hate when I feel forced into either giving up my home or my time and money at my extended family's ...
A: Deep breath Allison,deep breath...now exhale...again.. Okay! Are you feeling a little better now? ...
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| Hostes Gift | 11/7/2007 |
Q: At the same occasion I received two wrapped hostess gifts. One was a very nice, expensive hostess ...
A: Open them both and don't worry about anyone feeling uncomfortable. If you express genuine gratitude ...
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| The new baby | 11/7/2007 |
Q: My sister-in-law (my husbands brother's wife) just welcomed her second child. Are we required to ...
A: You are never required to give anyone a gift for any reason. But,having said that,why wouldn't you ...
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| Party Manners... | 11/6/2007 |
Q: My siblings and I are throwing our mother a sixty-fifth birthday party, and we're stuck on one ...
A: No,there is no polite way to ask people to 'pay for the privilege' of being a guest on an ...
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| New Home | 11/6/2007 |
Q: We moved in to our first home a week ago and have received cakes, cookies and bread from our new ...
A: Please go ahead and write them each a short thank you note. Normally,this would not be necessary,the ...
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| wedding lodging | 11/6/2007 |
Q: Our daughter is planning a wedding in Mexico at a beautiful and expensive hotel. We have rented a ...
A: Oh dear. She is using the word 'traditionally',is she? Well..if that's the road she wants to go ...
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| wedding dress etiquette | 11/6/2007 |
Q: What would you wear to a Saturday afternoon, 4:00, wedding that will be held in a Victorian ...
A: That sounds as if it going to be a very nice wedding. Please wear a pretty garden dress. Meaning ...
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| Never brings a gift | 11/6/2007 |
Q: My husband's cousin & his wife are always invited to every birthday, and holiday function that we ...
A: Martinez, Why exactly are these people invited to every family function? It's not about the ...
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| Use of a calling card | 11/6/2007 |
Q: I seem to recall it being an acceptable practice to draw a line through one's name on a calling ...
A: Nope. You are not out of step with the times. Pay no attention to that Bob Dylan character,he's been ...
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| office brute | 11/6/2007 |
Q: This is probably a common problem, but I feel like I've exhausted all the advice I've gotten from ...
A: I am sorry to hear that you are being taken advantage of in this way. I wish I had some brilliant ...
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| friends family | 11/6/2007 |
Q: While at a party I asked a friend to come meet my cousin. She refused. She had no interest. I was ...
A: That is a pretty minor request to make of a friend. Was there some other reason she wouldn't come ...
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| Thanksgiving dinner | 11/5/2007 |
Q: My cousin is hosting thanksgiving dinner for the second year that our family has been getting ...
A: Traditionally,yes,the person hosting a holiday (or any other) dinner party at their house is ...
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| Inviting an ex-sister in law to baby shower. | 11/5/2007 |
Q: Is it inappropriate for a woman to invite her ex-sister in law to her baby shower which is for a ...
A: Let me get this sorted out. Jean invites Lisa to her baby shower. Jean was married to Lisa's brother ...
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| a simple thank you | 11/5/2007 |
Q: My son and daughter in law live many states away. They have no children. Each year, for the past 4, ...
A: Talk to your son. Privately and when you are calm about it. Say something positive first,then bring ...
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| Addressing an envelope | 11/5/2007 |
Q: I'm sending a thank you note to a pastor and his wife; they are both ministers, but not pastoring a ...
A: They still worked hard to get their credentials,why deprive them of their honorific just because ...
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| Rent disbute | 11/5/2007 |
Q: Should 3 friends sharing a house pay different amounts for different room sizes and ...
A: This calls for a house meeting where everyone expresses their opinions on the subject until a common ...
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| Pantyhose/stocking in winter with peep-toe shoes? | 11/5/2007 |
Q: I really dislike stocking/pantyhose. I can't remember the last time I even wore them. We are ...
A: I think that going without hose is something best reserved for the summer months and a great tan. In ...
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| Is my boyfriend being a control freak? | 11/4/2007 |
Q: Im writing to you because an issue came up today that became the source of a disagreement between my ...
A: If you are living together,then the house is 'yours' equally. So your brother may get permission ...
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| neighbor children | 11/3/2007 |
Q: My husband & I have no children, but have a basketball hoop on our garage. Last summer we agreed ...
A: Your question made me laugh out loud. You all are too sweet. YES,there are other options! A) Now ...
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| Cash Bar | 11/2/2007 |
Q: I would like to throw a 54th birthday party for my husband at a restaurant that has a banquet room. ...
A: Serve only what you can afford,don't make your guests pay. Consider having a limited number of ...
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| My Boss' Brother | 11/1/2007 |
Q: My boss' Brother just passed away today. The Brother lived out of town and that is where the ...
A: Direct your expression of sympathy to the brother. If you can,send flowers or a planter to the ...
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| dinner dress | 11/1/2007 |
Q: I'm invited to an dinner/event that requires "red carpet attire." Is this a long/formal dress?
A: I have a friend who is a theater producer in Chicago. Here is a "cut and paste" of my friend's ...
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| Bridal Shower Invitation | 11/1/2007 |
Q: I am getting ready to throw a bridal shower for a friend at a restaurant. We are not charging for ...
A: With a bridal shower thrown by friends for a friend,you may make it 'specific'. Lingerie ...
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| Guest calls hostess' husband names | 11/1/2007 |
Q: Recently I was put into an awkward situation, and found I did not know what to do to diffuse a ...
A: The only thing you could have done was build a time machine,go back to the day you met this woman ...
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| Birthday Slideshow | 11/1/2007 |
Q: I am planning a birthday party for my husband. I would like to have a slide show of photos from his ...
A: The shorter the better. I know you love him and think he's the greatest thing since sliced bread,but ...
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| Birthday Party | 10/30/2007 |
Q: I would like to through a birthday party for my husband's 35th birthday party. I'm looking to ...
A: Say nothing to your guests. Speak to the head waiter, or dining room manager before you have the ...
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| Friend's possible miscarriage | 10/29/2007 |
Q: Gamble: A very good friend of mine is expecting. She recently found out from her doctor that there ...
A: Can you call the husband privately? Not that he won't be devastated by this news,but he will ...
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| attending my ex-husband's funeral with our son | 10/29/2007 |
Q: My ex-husband died as a result of an accident on Friday. We have a 6 year old son together. He is ...
A: Six is awfully young to go through something like this without his Mom beside him. I understand that ...
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| graduation photos with ex wife | 10/29/2007 |
Q: Is it proper social etiquette to have graduation photos taken with your ex wife just because your ...
A: How is it a contradiction? He doesn't want anything to do with his ex. What he wants to do is be a ...
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| Company for Thanksgiving | 10/28/2007 |
Q: My niece is attending a local university for graduate school and decided not to go home, several ...
A: "Her family could stay in a hotel in the university town and come over here for Thanksgiving ...
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| ovarian cancer tournament canceled | 10/24/2007 |
Q: For one year I worked at putting together a golf tournament in memory of my sister who passed away ...
A: I am so sorry that you were forced to cancel after so much hard work. You managed to put together ...
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| Birthday Party Etiquette | 10/24/2007 |
Q: My mother (ret school admin) wants to have a large 75th bday party/luncheon at a restaurant in LA ...
A: Then,you know the answer..you can't have an admission charge for 'guests'. It flies in the face of ...
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| Birthday Party Etiquette | 10/24/2007 |
Q: My mother (ret school admin) wants to have a large 75th bday party/luncheon at a restaurant in LA ...
A: For whom is this party being given? You don't say. If the guest of honor is also the hostess (i.e. ...
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| Is there such a thing as apartment etiquette? | 10/24/2007 |
Q: My friends are soon going to be moving into an apartment and they've asked me to tell them what the ...
A: Well,no..no specific 'rules' to speak of for apartment living. Obvious things apply. Be considerate ...
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| Asking someone else to throw a party | 10/23/2007 |
Q: The (paid) coach of my 10-year-old son's soccer team is a single 20-something. His mother is the ...
A: That is the craziest thing I have heard in a very long time. A "money tree"?!? Those things are ...
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| Holiday party for adults? | 10/23/2007 |
Q: Gamble, Last year I sent out Crane invitations to a 7pm holiday cocktail party, addressed to ...
A: Stick to your guns! The people who got bent out of shape are the ones who do not 'get it'. ...
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| private chef etiquette | 10/23/2007 |
Q: i am private cheffing for a prominent person. thanksgiving meal. i want to buy the the best ...
A: Your dedication to your craft is admirable. I don't know where you live,so I cannot advise you on ...
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| Funeral | 10/22/2007 |
Q: How do I express sincere thanks to co workers who came to the visitation services of my mother? I ...
A: A few lines telling them that you appreciated their concern and support during those difficult days ...
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| Acknowledgin nephew's birthday after forgetting nephew's sibling's birthday | 10/22/2007 |
Q: I apologize for the lengthy subject line! My husband's nephew is having a birthday soon and I'm not ...
A: Please go ahead and send the other boy a gift as well. Just send it with one of the many humorous ...
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| After-Wedding "Celebration" Invites | 10/22/2007 |
Q: My fiance and I live in Colorado, where he and his family also all live. I am originally from the ...
A: I am on your side on this one. No two ways about it. I agree with your thinking and the way you wish ...
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| engagement | 10/22/2007 |
Q: My daughter has been engaged for two years and will marry in Dec.2008. My husband and I have not met ...
A: Karen, By all means! Invite them to dinner. Get to know these people,they are probably just as ...
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| card signing | 10/21/2007 |
Q: Is it proper to sign a card "as always," ---- and --- Instead of for instance congratulations ...
A: Shari, The way to close a card depends entirely upon the relationship between the sender and the ...
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| Who pays? | 10/20/2007 |
Q: As a cashier, in a cafeteria type restaurant, there were times I was undecided what to do this ...
A: Fortunately for you,you don't have to decide. You can't! You don't have enough information about who ...
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| Birthday Gifts for Inlaws | 10/20/2007 |
Q: Both my brother and I are married. When I give my brother a birthday gift, should it be from just ...
A: Good news or bad,depending on how you look at it: The decision is yours alone. Some people are ...
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| sneezing -bless you | 10/20/2007 |
Q: After people sneeze, some people say "Bless you, or Guzuntite." I don't mean it, but I say it. ...
A: Smith, Gesundheit means "health" in German. Only you know if you want to say things that you do ...
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| Adressing grown-ups | 10/19/2007 |
Q: Gamble, I am noticing that a lot of the grownups in my neighborhood are having their kids call ...
A: Things have changed for the worse I'm afraid. It's like the trend of wearing baseball caps ...
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| breaking a glass at a dinner party | 10/19/2007 |
Q: I was invited to Thanksgiving at my brother's house 4 years ago A crystal glass that was on the ...
A: A hostess should be gracious in the face of stemware tragedy. She should insist that it is no big ...
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| Retirement Party | 10/18/2007 |
Q: Im from NYC and I was just invited to a retirement party from this couple that owns a couple of ...
A: Good riddance to these people I say! Let Florida have them. It is not a party,but a fundraiser if ...
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| wedding reception seating | 10/18/2007 |
Q: I recently attended a wedding in Maine,I'm from Pennsylvania. Several co-workers,myself and my ...
A: The hostess was thinking about six hundred other things at the time she made the seating chart. This ...
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| death | 10/18/2007 |
Q: I recently lost my Grandmother and recieved sympathy cards. What is the proper way to address them? ...
A: While it is not necessary to send a return note for a message of sympathy,you may if you wish to do ...
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| etiquette regarding someone's death | 10/17/2007 |
Q: Someone I know at work recently lost his mother in a car accident. I work in another department ...
A: His privacy has already been violated,if you consider it that way,by all of you talking about this ...
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| Quiceanera | 10/17/2007 |
Q: My daughter is having a quiceanera party. We would like to know the right way to ask her friends ...
A: Usually just asking the boys and girls is 'traditional'. However,if you are planning a very ...
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| making amends for being bad wedding guest | 10/17/2007 |
Q: I think I have been a bad wedding guest. My family was invited to the wedding of our nephew ...
A: As this is your husband's sister,if he wants to write a thank you apology and give a gift,let him! I ...
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| graduation invitations list | 10/17/2007 |
Q: My daughter is graduating from high school in May and we have no idea who to send out the ...
A: Couldn't be simpler. Only invite those people who love your kid enough to sit in a miserable hot gym ...
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| 1st Bithday Party | 10/17/2007 |
Q: My sister-in-law and I are throwing our boys a 1st birthday party together (they are two weeks ...
A: While the books all do say you may never refer to gifts in any form on an invitation,I think when ...
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| Rude Mother-In-Law | 10/10/2007 |
Q: My partner's mom recently invited herself to visit this past weekend and only gave us 3 days notice ...
A: Couldn't be simpler. The next time say "I'm sorry,but that wouldn't be convient for us. Perhaps we ...
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| Addressing stepparents | 10/10/2007 |
Q: At what age does one refer to their stepparent as "my father's wife" or "my mother's husband" ...
A: You've answered your own question. "My daughters...really don't want to.." The appropriate age is ...
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| Ex spouse and New In Laws | 10/10/2007 |
Q: My husband's family invites his ex-wife to every family function from weddings to holidays. The ...
A: Is it appropriate for her to be invited? Sure. It is their house,they may invite whomever they ...
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| Friendship | 10/10/2007 |
Q: my friend has a realy bad attitude when ever she is mad at her boyfriend or anything she give me ...
A: Xena, If you feel the need to tell your boyfriend about your past,then please do. You are not ...
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| Friendship | 10/9/2007 |
Q: my friend has a realy bad attitude when ever she is mad at her boyfriend or anything she give me ...
A: This really isn't an etiquette question. You can't control anyone's behavior but your own. So there ...
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| Dinner Invite | 10/9/2007 |
Q: My husband's 40th birthday is coming up and I am taking him to dinner. I mentioned to a few other ...
A: Just make it clear when you invite the couples that as much as you would like to treat everyone to ...
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| Paying for my Birthday Dinner | 10/9/2007 |
Q: My friend of several years invited me out to dinner to celebrate my birthdy. It was her idea, not ...
A: Yes,if she invited you out to dinner to celebrate your birthday,it would be natural to assume that ...
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| Sitting Manners | 10/9/2007 |
Q: I have a question of what is an appropriate sitting position in a social/formal environment. And ...
A: No,it is not appropriate for a gentleman to sit in the manner you describe. He should reserve that ...
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| friend receiving an award | 10/8/2007 |
Q: A friend of mine is receiving an award for being outstanding in his field of work. My spouse and I ...
A: Please send him a note of congratulation telling him how pleased you are for him and how much you ...
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| invitation wording | 10/8/2007 |
Q: I am hosting a party for my husband's recent accomplishment of completing his doctorate degree. ...
A: Deanna, In honoring Douglas S Duncan for his achievement in completing his doctoral degree. It's ...
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| Addressing an invitation to a former mayor | 10/8/2007 |
Q: I am hosting an event at which our former mayor will be a "sponsor." How should he be listed on the ...
A: This one is a bit of a sticky wicket. In fact,it is a controversy that rages (yes..RAGES) in the ...
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| Gum Chewing | 10/7/2007 |
Q: My sisters husband has a position of prominence in our church and she continually chews gum thru ...
A: If this is your sister,then you may speak as plainly as you need to. Not saying be unkind,but ...
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| Weekend away, who pays | 10/7/2007 |
Q: Gamble, I have a question I have been unable to which I have been unable to find the proper answer. ...
A: You are absolutely right,assume that it is dutch unless someone says something to let you know that ...
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| Monetary gifts for elderly birthday | 10/7/2007 |
Q: We are giving my 90 year old grandmother a surprise birthday party. How do we tactfully ask those ...
A: Lavern, I'm sorry,but there is no polite way to ask for gifts of any kind. That anyone thought ...
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| death on a honeymoon | 10/5/2007 |
Q: My neighbors, whom we've only known for a year, were just married in his home state where all his ...
A: Please do not send the wedding card or gift. It will only cause you neighbor more pain and mental ...
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| questioning age | 10/5/2007 |
Q: I have a friend whom I lift with. on occasion we have discussed protein supplements. My friend ...
A: The only thing to do here is apologize to the man. Do I think you were wrong given the ...
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| All expense paid vegas trip | 10/5/2007 |
Q: My girlfriend of several years takes an annual "girls" trip to Vegas and invites 3 of her friends. ...
A: Please call your best friend and have him come over. Then as a favor to me,have him smack you upside ...
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| Office Wedding Gift | 10/4/2007 |
Q: my boss is getting married. No one in the office is invited, but others are discussing whether we ...
A: It is never a good idea for an employee to give anyone who is above them on the corporate ladder a ...
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| Hosting My Birthday Party | 10/4/2007 |
Q: How can I politely say in my 40th birthdday party invitations that I have reserved and will be ...
A: The very fact that you are sending invitations can and should do the explaining for you. A host/ess ...
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| invitation etiquette | 10/4/2007 |
Q: I am having a birthday for my twin 7 year olds. We have all agreed that we do not want guests to ...
A: If we want to get very technical,it is never correct to mention gifts one way or the other on an ...
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| being asked my age | 10/3/2007 |
Q: I have repeatedly been asked how old I am by various people. For whatever reason I find the question ...
A: You did everything you should have,ignoring,deflecting, joking..none of it mattered because you were ...
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| Retirement party invite | 10/3/2007 |
Q: My husband and I just received an invitation for a BLACK TIE retirement party for someone that he ...
A: Sarah, Please,please tell me that in the body of the 'invitation' it says something like 'for the ...
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| adult daughter and male overnight guest | 10/3/2007 |
Q: I need your help solving a dispute between myself and my husband. We have a 19 year old daughter ...
A: While it is your home and you need to feel comfortable with the rules you set,I can't imagine why ...
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| Invitation etiquette | 10/2/2007 |
Q: I am throwing my father a surprise 50th birthday party. There will be approximately 30-40 guests. It ...
A: A hostess never throws a party that she cannot afford to pay for. I know you mean to do a nice thing ...
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| Dual Birthday Party | 10/2/2007 |
Q: The mother of my son's friend (from a preschool he no longer attends, if that matters) called to ...
A: While it is not required that you bring both boys a gift, we are talking about a three year old ...
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| Graduation Announcement if Divorced | 10/2/2007 |
Q: My oldest son will be graduating from high school next June and I would like to know how to word the ...
A: Your instincts are dead on. Everything is perfect as is, unless your son wants to include the new ...
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| 1st birthday party | 10/2/2007 |
Q: my daughter is turning one and we're giving her a party. we don't have a lot of space in our new ...
A: There is no polite way to ask for or even mention gifts on an invitation. Unless asked directly ...
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| Gifts before the Ball? | 10/1/2007 |
Q: I will be attending a formal, black-tie political fundraiser, 'Governor's Ball' with a woman I have ...
A: While I have every sympathy for a man in love,please, I beg of you,leave the grand romantic gestures ...
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| College Graduation Day Etiquette | 10/1/2007 |
Q: I'm also one of few students to be the member of two honor's societies. One of which provides cords ...
A: Melissa, Your commencement ceremony is no time to be modest. It is your day to shine after four ...
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| housewarming | 10/1/2007 |
Q: What is the time line for having a housewarming, after your move in date? ANSWER: Dear Crystal, ...
A: Unless you have just finished a major remodeling project or have some other really good excuse,it ...
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| Anniversary question | 9/30/2007 |
Q: We want to have about 35 people who are family and friends to meet us at a restaraunt for a dinner ...
A: No,I am sorry,you cannot plan a party in honor of your anniversary and ask other people to pay for ...
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| entering the home | 9/30/2007 |
Q: situation: my husband and my son were home playing video games while my daughter and i attended a ...
A: Have you ever heard the saying "As the twig is bent the tree is inclined"? If you don't teach your ...
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| Graduation reception colors | 9/30/2007 |
Q: Is there a rule regarding the colors that you must have at a high school graduation reception? For ...
A: In the first half of the 20th Century it was common for individual classes to have their own 'class ...
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| Friend's Party | 9/30/2007 |
Q: A close girlfriend of mine was hosting a party for her husband's birthday. My husband and I rsvp'd ...
A: She certainly may invite whomever she pleases to a party. If she was aware of the tensions between ...
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| When people tell you to call them | 9/30/2007 |
Q: Last night I had an enjoyable date, but I ended the evening not interested in seeing the person ...
A: Katherine, The phrase "I have your number" is a useful one. It can mean a few different things,is ...
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| housewarming | 9/29/2007 |
Q: What is the time line for having a housewarming, after your move in date?
A: There is no hard and fast rule about this,but within three months of moving in is reasonable. ...
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| Houseguests | 9/28/2007 |
Q: My husband and I own a vacation home in ski resort town in Colorado. As you can imagine, it is a ...
A: While I sympathize with the extra duties having guests presents,your husband's instincts are correct ...
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| How to properly address a former Mayor | 9/28/2007 |
Q: How do I properly reference a former Mayor? (I am talking about a former Mayor in an article.) ...
A: Call him "..the former mayor of Elmwood Springs,Ron Kirk,said today that.." Just use it once,after ...
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| baby shower thank you's | 9/27/2007 |
Q: my daughter was given a shower on July 14th of 2007, it is September 25 and we JUST sent out Thank ...
A: Should the thank you notes have gone out within two weeks of the party? Yes. Does the fact that she ...
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| Etiquette with Relatives | 9/27/2007 |
Q: I am expecting my first baby in December and my Mother and Father-in-law would like to come for the ...
A: What do you mean he's 'acting very strange'? If he is an adult and this is his mother,he is free to ...
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| etiquette | 9/26/2007 |
Q: Two days after we found out that we are pregnant, my fiance informed me that "there is someone else, ...
A: These two people had no problem ruining your relationship and have no interest in behaving in a ...
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| Black and White Ball | 9/25/2007 |
Q: My husband and I are going on a cruise on the QE2 and have received the itinerary which states that ...
A: For the "Black and White Ball" your husband wears a tuxedo and you would wear a floor length gown of ...
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| Graduation awards | 9/25/2007 |
Q: We award cords and medals to our top GPA students. Are there awards that can be given for students ...
A: All of these traditions and customs came into being because someone,somewhere,made them up. So you ...
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| No show to a dinner invitation | 9/24/2007 |
Q: It's my first time on your website. I need your etiquette expertise. My husband and I invited our ...
A: Yes,of course you have the right to be disappointed. It's how you act on that disappointment that ...
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| Why? | 9/24/2007 |
Q: Why do you volunteer your time to this service? Do you have to answer every single question? ...
A: I enjoy helping people. No,I do not have to answer every question. If the question is rude,makes no ...
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| social etiquette and good manners | 9/23/2007 |
Q: Several years ago, my family travelled to visit my sister in a large US city. After a long day of ...
A: Small children have very little control over themselves. It would have been embarrasing if you had ...
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| Declining an Invitation | 9/22/2007 |
Q: The residents group of a small group of 7 villas wishes to celebrate the 90th birthday of one of the ...
A: Simply call and tell the couple "I'm sorry,I thought I would be joining everyone at Chez Louis,but I ...
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| Girlfriend at Bat Mitzvah | 9/21/2007 |
Q: Amanda, I have been in a relationship for 2.5 years, it is quite serious, we are discussing ...
A: Couldn't be simpler for you. Treat the woman with a great deal of kindness. It will totally throw ...
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| how to address an envelope | 9/21/2007 |
Q: How do I address an envelope when the woman is pastor of a church and her husband ...
A: Please use two lines on the envelope. You don't say what denomination the church,so I will leave it ...
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| Etiquette with a colleague | 9/20/2007 |
Q: In a work trip I will have to share bedroom with a female colleague (we are friends but not lovers ...
A: Your company can't spring for two rooms? Okay,this is beyond the norm as far as etiquette questions ...
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| softdrink only party | 9/20/2007 |
Q: my husband and I don't drink alcohol/pork and therefore when we have parties we don't serve these ...
A: No,you are under no obligation to provide alcohol for your sister. A hostess may serve what she has ...
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| Open House gift | 9/20/2007 |
Q: Our financial planner, whom we have known for many years, has moved to a new location and has ...
A: You and your husband are both correct,oddly enough. There is no need to take a gift unless you ...
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| Sharing other people's news | 9/19/2007 |
| Q: When is it correct to share som |
