| Subject | Date Asked | Expert |
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| Last Minute Dinner Time Changes | 12/13/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: My husband and I were invited to a 5:30 dinner/birthday party for my = girlfriend's daughter at our ...
A: How bizarre! There was no reasonable excuse for why the party was moved up at the last moment? "A ...
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| Saying , "ma'am" | 12/13/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: is it pedestrian for a child to address an adult as, "ma'am" (like they do in Texas) or is it a ...
A: Many Southerners teach their children to address adults as "ma'am" or "sir". In other parts of the ...
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| Gift for hostess | 12/13/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: it will be a formal / holiday attire sit down dinnerThank you so much for the timely response but ...
A: Ah ha! Sit down dinner in party clothes! Well,you have to hang around until after dinner and a bit ...
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| Gift for hostess | 12/13/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: I'll go with bottle of wine then. And no moral objection to alcohol whatsoever, unfortunately just a ...
A: Oh I know to well what you mean! 1/2 a gin and tonic and I need a nap. The 20 year old me would be ...
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| Gift for hostess | 12/13/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: I'm a female and I've been invited to a friend-of-a-friend's christmas party. The party will be ...
A: Unless you have a moral objection to alcohol,bringing a bottle of wine is still a good gesture. You ...
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| Church Services for the non-believer | 12/13/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: How should a non-believer (or member of another religion for that matter) behave when invited to ...
A: Hope-Scott, It is not necessary to recite the affirmations, responses, creeds or even The Lord's ...
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| Entertaining | 12/12/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: If dinner is taking longer than anticpated to prepare what should one do so guests don't get too ...
A: The answer in a word is Crudites! Raw vegetables to nibble on while they wait. Cheese and crackers ...
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| Formal address | 12/11/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I want to mail several Christmas cards to couples I recently met at a Christmas party. I don't like ...
A: Parrish, You may address the correspondence to: Joan and John Smith or The Smiths whichever you ...
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| PH.D. Address | 12/11/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: How are PHDs addressed (written & spoken) in social situations, outside of business? Mr./Mrs. or ...
A: Freyer, If you know someone has earned a Ph.D., ask him or her whether he or she would like to be ...
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| theatre etiquitte | 12/10/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I am in search of information concerning proper audience and actor etiquitte in theatres/plays. ...
A: When attending a theatre performance, audience members should, most importantly, be considerate of ...
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| Christmans Gift with a mail-in rebate | 12/10/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: The gift is $70 and the mail-in rebate is $10. Do you think it is worthy of cutting the UPC code? I ...
A: You have been quite generous with your gift. You really answered your own question when you stated ...
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| Christmans Gift with a mail-in rebate | 12/8/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: We are having a christmas tree in our office with gift requests from needy people. I picked out a ...
A: It is truly up to you to cut or not to cut. There is nothing wrong with wanting to receive a ...
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| Who pays for the meal @ 50 anniversary | 12/8/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: Dr. Allaire, my friends are on the verge of holding a 50th anniversary party for their ...
A: Lewis, When a "guest" is invited to a party, he or she should not be expected to pay for his or her ...
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| is it ok to serve dinner... | 12/7/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: is it ok to serve dinner if a guest is very late and dinner is getting cold and other guests are ...
A: When a dinner guest is very late for the meal and the food is getting cold, it is certainly ...
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| adoption ediquette | 12/5/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: My friends have just adopted two, unrelated, teenage children, one boy, one girl. They are having ...
A: You are never 'required' to bring a gift to any party. Not a wedding,not a Bar Mitzvah,not even a ...
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| pushing in lady's chair | 12/5/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I was taught to help push in a female companion's chair at nice restaurants. However, I rarely see ...
A: Bravo! You were taught well. It is certainly appropriate to push in a female companion's chair when ...
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| funerals | 12/2/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: my mother died at the wake should i wear a suit?
A: Bates, Please accept my sympathy on the loss of your mother. A suit would be the most appropriate ...
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| Parents 50th wedding anniversary | 11/30/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I need help finding the right decision please. My parents are getting ready to celebrate their 50th ...
A: Jones, Even though your mother is trying to blame this on you and your new family, she is the cause ...
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| Paying for dinner and entertainment | 11/28/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: My brother's wife's family is fairly well-off financially, and I spend a good bit of time with them ...
A: I certainly can understand your wanting to contribute and share expenses throughout the year. You ...
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| Sultan of Oman | 11/28/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I need to write a letter to the Sultan of Oman, His Majesty Sultan Qaboos Bin Said, Diwan fo the ...
A: I am going to give you all of the examples that you will need for written and verbal communication ...
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| Asking for gift money | 11/23/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: My younger brothers and I are trying to organize a few nice things for my parents 25th wedding ...
A: Deppen, I am sorry to disappoint you, but your first impression about asking for money was correct. ...
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| time to leave for responsible evening guest | 11/22/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: Daughter and Son-in-Law are visiting parents for weekend. Daughter and son-in-law invite 2 guests to ...
A: The daughter and son-in-law should ask the parents what time they would prefer the guests to leave, ...
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| Accepting invitation of daughter (w/concurrence of husband) for thanksgiving festivities / | 11/18/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: mother has never approved/is aware of an emotionally abusive, dysfunctional relationship between ...
A: Coley, Your daughter's invitation shows you that she cares and wants to be with you on the holiday. ...
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| Shower Thank You Notes | 11/18/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: Dr. Manners- Just a follow-up to the previous question and answer below...My husband and I still ...
A: Under the circumstances, especially since you are planning to adopt in the near future, keep the ...
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| Thanksgiving invitation | 11/17/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: Manners, I was not born or raised in the US, so I frequently feel insecure about proper manners. ...
A: Kohen, Even though you do not know the visiting student personally, it would be very welcoming for ...
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| Shower Thank You Notes | 11/17/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: My husband and I have planned the last two months to foster and then adopting an infant and a ...
A: I am so sorry that things didn't work out for you and your husband. This must be a very difficult ...
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| PAPER OR CHINA FOR DINNER | 11/16/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: FOR THANKSGIVING MY WIFE AND I ARE HAVING ABOUT 30 FAMILY MEMBERS AND FRINDS OVER FOR DINNER. WE DO ...
A: Howard, Since you are having a large number of guests and the dinner will be informal, paper and ...
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| Manners Statistics | 11/16/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: Is there any sort of statstics that show how students are in school? Are students rude more often, ...
A: Hale, As far as I know, there are not any nationwide statistics regarding students' behavior in ...
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| party ettiqutte? | 11/14/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: My husband and I were invited to a "black tie" dinner by a couple we don't know well. Since we are ...
A: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That is just breathtakingly awful. Everyone has been invited to something that ...
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| party ettiquette? | 11/14/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: My husband and I were invited to a "black tie" dinner by a couple we don't know well. Since we are ...
A: The people who invited you to the "party" were remiss in not telling you that the event was a ...
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| Ph.D. etiquette | 11/9/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I hold a Ph.D. and see folks around the university doing different things. I don't feel that I ...
A: Howell, As a fellow Ph.D. holder, I run into this all of the time myself. Since my first name is a ...
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| hostess etiquette | 11/9/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: i am starting a company as a party planner and i would like to know how i should behave before, ...
A: Congratulations on starting your own company! Organization is a key factor when planning parties, ...
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| opening doors and holding elevators | 11/2/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: When a person (male or female) opens a door or holds an elevator for another, wouldn't the proper ...
A: Well,yes,most people say "thank you" automatically. It costs nothing to say it. You don't even have ...
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| Party and donations | 11/1/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: My husband and I have a large Christmas party every year. This will be our 25th. Each year we have ...
A: Alford, I am sorry to disappoint you, but your husband is absolutely correct. Your idea is ...
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| Weddings | 11/1/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: Is it necessary to invite the pianist and violinist who will be providing the music for the wedding ...
A: Hahs, It is not necessary to invite the pianist and the violinist to the rehearsal dinner and/or ...
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| Door salesmen | 10/30/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: Yesterday I had an Indian man knock on my door trying to get people to support a childrens charity. ...
A: Here's my formula: "Oh how wonderful,it sounds like a very worthwhile cause! I support Books For ...
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| Dinner conversation | 10/24/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I recently spent a weekend with a family member I have not seen in a while. The first night we had ...
A: It is always the group's responsibility to make the newcomer feel welcome. The other people should ...
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| proper title | 10/22/2004 | Amanda Gamble |
Q: I am sending a letter to a gentleman and his wife. The wife is a medical doctor. What is the ...
A: Kulesa, The address should read as follows: Mr.Jim Jones Dr.Jennifer ...
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| Singing/ humming in the workplace | 10/22/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I am currently located near a new employee who insists on humming/ singing throughout the day. I ...
A: Cross, You are not being intolerant at all. Your new co-worker is being extremely inconsiderate. ...
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| Social Graces | 10/21/2004 | Fleming Allaire, Ph.D., a.k.a Dr. Manners (TM). |
Q: I'll try to condense this as much as possible. My husband is a physician and took care of a certain ...
A: The first thing you need to do is to ask your husband if he put the office manager in charge of this ...
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