Expert: Evelyn Alexander - 6/2/2007

Question

I am 13 years old. I am 5'6 1/2 and weight about 136 pounds. I often get teased for being fat. and have a low self esteem. I would like to lose weight without loosing my breasts. I am also a vegetarian for animal rights. I was considering a 7 day fruit diet. I was wondering if you had other suggestions. I am trying to lose weight over the summer and come back to school with everyone is shock.  

Answer
Dear Rory,

A fast, which such a fruit diet would be never helps you lose weight. For under 22 year-olds such fasts are never recommended. Indeed they can lead to chronic obesity in some cases.

You don't sound fat by any standards. You may feel  uncomfortable though, and that's to be expected at 13, especially if you are under any peer pressure from "rakes".
You must not forget you are probably not the shortest girl in your class, and that may make you seem "big" too.Technically you are right on the mark on a healthy growth chart, so in my eyes you don't have a weight problem but a low-self esteem problem.

Also realise, breasts at your age should be a modest size, since you are not supposed to attract sexual attentions and give birth to children for at least another four years, and that's only a biological fact (please wait much longer!).Don't worry, from your stats I conclude they won't either grow or shrink in your case because of what you eat.

Some tips to get cracking on your self-esteem:
work on your health and diet by all means. It can give a girl great focus and show much maturity, besides. Put your HEALTH first and foremost. Make sure you have a well-balanced diet, NEVER skipping one of the three main meals, and always checking the snacks. Simply measure out a small amount of proteins (tofu, beans, nuts, dairy) against plenty of carbohydrates.
Limit fat (grill, steam food), cut out refined products with artificial flavourings and preservatives (also mind artificial sweetners, which ruin your metabolism).
Each day:include raw salads and cooked/steamed vegetables, and fresh berries, apples, citrus fruit.
Avoid "easy" food, which basically means excluding all sugary and fatty snacks (candy bars, crisps, even the so called "healthy"/low fat ones!). Don't drink sodas! Ever. No sugar in teas/coffees (don't drink coffee!).

But what you must not do is go without the essential fatty acids, which are to be found in "fats". Especially if you don't eat oily fish, you need to become ever more informed on how to nourish yourself as you grow and your needs change. Some vegetarians become surprisingly large because of a kind of undernourishment (but that's usually later in life). You then start "hoarding" your calories because of a so called "crisis diet" where you are simply not getting enough of what you need. So don't fear nuts, seeds, sesame paste, pesto sauce, and using olive oil, sunflower oil in cooking etc, stuff other kids may have heard makes you "fat". Just be moderate in all things.

Get your daily dairy intake (semi-skimmed, not completely skimmed, milk, buttermilk, or preferably YOGHURT or curds) but go easy on the cheese (very high in fat and salt).Eat cheese only as an occasional, but full "meat substitute" and not as topping (unless sparingly like a sprinkling of parmesan on your spaghetti).

Eat three meals a day. Don't shy away from "bulk", like wholemeal sandwiches, pasta, rice, other grains, because your growth over the coming years needs them.
In time you will find your natural shape, which I hope shows no ribs, or hip bones!.A good test is to stand in front of the mirror with your feet together and see whether you have a small slit of space between your upper thighs: then they are trim. This only comes with plenty of exercise (cycling, walking, gymnasics, sports). If they press together with a bulge of fat you need to do exercises which specifically tackle that area. Probably your tummy is the part of you which is most bothering you, and that's mainly due to untrained muscle. There are plenty of exercises you can do (5 minutes daily already works miracles) which also have other benefits (keeps your back strong and maintains a healthy blood circulation in your uterus and ovaries which can help reduce period pains).

Your face still needs to change shape, as you will see from pictures of your parents, perhaps: between 13 and 21 the rounder shapes become more angular (before they sag again into softer shapes after 35!) so don't confuse "chubby" cheeks with an overweight condition.

By taking control of your diet and exercise, walking, taking fresh air (breathing exercises, Yoga), listening to relaxing or meditative music you will stay in line with the conscious awareness you already clearly have - as shown in your vegetarianism. Don't let the more ignorant kids "bully" you into thinking any less of yourself. Folks who notice other people's "fat" have plenty of issues themselves. Often they are obsessive, and how healthy is that! It makes me wonder whether they have anything but air in their heads?

Just take excellent, loving, gentle care of yourself and whip yourself into dynamic, pro-active action as and when called for by a higher purpose.
Good luck,
Love Evelyn.