Special Education/Bullying on the Bus
I do not know exactly what's going on with my daughter on the bus but this is what I gather. I do know that my daughter has this thing where she likes to sing and she is being made fun of for it. The bus driver asks her to stop singing to. I think having everyone come down on her asking her to stop is making her sing more. I try to tell her to stop singing but I believe her stubborness is not from principle but from the onslaught from others. She said she feels bullied. She's only 8 and she sings pretty well and I don't think loud. She just loves to sing. The bus is so noisy I am not sure it's noticed except that it's been flagged. I hate seeing my daughter cry coming off the bus and I've heard some kids make really snarky comments after her. She asked me to pick her up from school from now on but since I work across town, it would be incredibly difficult. I am heartbroken. I called the principal and she very nicely asked me to ask my daughter to stop singing too. But I feel the other kids are contributing to this. What can I do?
Thank you for writing to me with a very interesting question. Your daughter loves to sing on the school bus and it seems to be distracting and intrusive to others, and is leading to bullying or at least negative relationships, and a poor start and end to the day.
Let me say that I appreciate her love of singing! But, it really is not appropriate for the singing to interfere with the kids or driver.
You say that people have asked her to stop, but you feel she continues because of the 'onslaught of others'. Does this mean that she is getting negative attention from singing? If so, then the attention from others may be rewarding or reinforcing her behavior.
You may want to ask for the school team, bus driver, and all others involved to meet and discuss this through a functional behavior assessment process.
The FBA is a problem solving process that I explore in detail in my book, School Success for Kids with Emotional and Behavioral Disorders.
Here is another link for more about the FBA. If it is a sensory issue, the occupational therapist could be part of the team that helps you and partners with you to work through this. If it is more of a mental health issue, the psychologist at school could be involved, or the counselor.
The team would meet and identify the behavior to target: excessive singing on the bus. It would hypothesize why this is happening, collect data, analyze the responses or consequences from others, and make a plan to solve the problem.
If she is singing for the noise on the bus, to gain attention because she may not know how to interact with others to get positive attention, sensory issues, self calming, or for any other reason, this is addressed by the team through problem solving. Maybe she can listen to songs with headphones, have other times to sing where it will be appreciated, get a behavior reward for the replacement behavior of sitting quietly, watching a video on an Ipad, drawing or reading lyrics on the bus (just examples). We want to identify what she should be doing on the bus, and reward her for that. If she rides the bus without singing, maybe she could have a few minutes to sing at school.
Transportation is a needed service, so I would try very hard to problem solve through this, before the situation gets worse and flows into bullying or negative interactions through the school day.
I hope these ideas and my answer has helped you! I wish you all the best as you advocate for your child! Please feel free to follow up with me. Thank you for using this service!