	AllExperts > Staying a Virgin
	Search

About Joel Kimball
Expertise
I'm good at listening, even better at giving advice.

Virginity does matter! And no sex before marriage is possible, regardless of what your friends, family, or (worst of all) society tell you. It's a choice, like any thing else in life. Not an easy one, so that's why I'm here to help.

I'm happy to answer your questions:
- WHY you should stay a virgin until marriage
- HOW you can stay a virgin until marriage
- HOW to deal with boy or girl friends pushing you to engage in sex
- HOW to deal with friends who push you to engage in sex
- HOW to deal with a family who won't support you in your choice of abstinence

Experience
If you want to know about some thing, ask an expert, right? If you're climbing a steep and dangerous mountain, who would you ask for advice about where to go? Another climber that's no further up than you, and is struggling? Or the fella who's been all the way to the top, and lived to tell about it?

The latter is me.

As to sex before marriage, "Been there, HAVEN'T done that".

In short, I made it to marriage with out having sex, in spite of many temptations, so any one can - including you.

Organizations
Eagle Scout - Boy Scouts of America
Fire Fighter - Whitman County Fire District 1 - Washington State

Education/Credentials
I have several years experience owning and managing two businesses, an Internet Access Provider (www.PalouseNet.com) and a Commercial Art Studio (www.KimballMedia.com). Every day I'm forced to make difficult decisions that will affect my life for years to come - just like the decision to not have sex before marriage will affect you.

Past/Present Clients
See my web sites.

You are here: Experts > Teens > Teen Advice > Staying a Virgin > Resisting Temptation

Staying a Virgin - Resisting Temptation

Expert: Joel Kimball - 11/3/2009

Question
My name is Katie and I am 17 years old and a virgin. I have a boyfriend and we really care about each other. He is a virgin and a very strong Christian and is waiting until marriage to have sex. I am a Catholic but I do not practice so when it comes to sex, I have just been waiting until I find someone special and I feel ready.

At times when my boyfriend and I are close, it becomes difficult to not feel the want to have sex. Sometimes I bring it up but I try not to because I don't want to pressure him because I know what it feels like to be pressured from past boyfriends. I feel I am ready though for sex because I truly care for him and I want to take our intimacy to the next level.

I guess to get to the point, I need advice on controlling my want for sex and to ignore the peer pressure from friends to do it. Thank you so much!

Answer
Hi Katie,

Congratulations on keeping your virginity. It isn't about being Catholic, it's just the right thing to do.

I guess I'm wondering why you don't care about this boy enough to marry him. You want to use his body to gratify yours, but you don't want to spend the rest of your life with him? Besides using him for sex, what are your intentions with this guy? After the sex gets old (and it always does, baby), are you going to just thank him like a common prostitute and walk away? Seriously?

Of course, you'll be risking pregnancy, too. And no, no birth control is 100% preventative. In addition, if you use the birth control pill, it acts as an abortifacient, so you'll never know when you've aborted your unborn children. And lets say you do keep the baby, what right do you have to force a child in to this world alone with you as a single mother? "Whatsoever ye would that men should do unto you, do ye also unto them". Would YOU want to be aborted by a chemical your mother took so she could prevent your birth because she didn't care about you, or your father?

So to sum up - you want to use this guy then dump him later, risk bringing life in to a broken home, or aborting it.

Wow. Your attitude is totally selfish.

But to get to the point, your only safety is to never be alone with any guy. Other wise, you WILL have sex, just a matter of when.

Katie, I realize I sound harsh, but don't do this. Don't join the ranks of the MILLIONS of girls who gave away their virginity just because they felt like it at the moment, only to deeply regret it later on, for the rest of their life.

Your friend,

Joel

Ask a Question