Staying a Virgin/College & Love
I m 18 and still a virgin by choice. I've never dated anyone because all the guys around me were all sex-a-holics. I believe that sex before marriage takes all the fun out of a person's future marriage. Almost like opening Christmas gifts the night before and feeling bored the day of because you weren't patient enough to wait. I have given this decision a lot of thought and the only question I can never solve is "What will I do when I get in a sexless relationship with a guy?" I understand that if he truly loves me he will respect my decision and wait with me but hormones don't make it easier. So what is there to do in a sexless relationship? Especially when the guy is already not a virgin?
Hi Sharon, you get my Virgin Goddess of the Month award! Excellent choice, staying that way until you get married. You are NOT alone.
Good idea, not dating. There isn't really a point to it unless you want to have sex before marriage, which almost all dating leads to. And yes, the vast majority of guys are just in to sex - they don't care with whom, and don't have any interest in backing it all up with a long term commitment. You're right, sex before marriage DOES take all the fun out of the future marriage. What is there to look forward to? Where's the mystery? The romance? "Eh, been there, done that" doesn't exactly sound like the start of some thing wild and crazy.
The best way to have some thing to do that's fun and interesting in a pre-marriage relationship is to only be with a guy you are thinking about marrying. Other wise, you'll just get in to trouble. NEVER, EVER, for any reason, be alone with this guy or another, or you WILL end up giving in at some point, it's only natural. If you avoid being alone, you won't have to worry about the guy's hormones or weakness. Who has sex with his girlfriend in front of some one else? Exactly. So.... stay public and the world opens up before your feet. If you stick with that one simple rule, there's tons to do. Think of it this way - what else are you going to do besides sex AFTER you marry? So... do THAT. If you two don't have at least a little in common besides sex, it's going to be tough.
This is going to sound crazy, but try doing some thing together for some one in need. Seriously, forget your selves for a moment, and find some one who really, truly needs help. Watch kids for a worn out mom. Go shopping for an older person. Do yard work for a busy dad. I know, I know, boring and unromantic, but you'll be amazed how much of your boy friend's character, his REAL self, will be revealed to you really quickly. Is he a hard worker? Honest? Does he lose his temper easily? These are things he's going to have to be up to to make it through a life time of marriage. Follow up each bit of service going out to eat, like at a really eclectic or unusual place each time. I think you'll be surprised how much closer it will bring you two together, working towards some selfless purpose together. After all, if that isn't what marriage is, what is?
I have LOTS more cool ideas, and I'd be happy to help you more. Message me back here, or hit me up on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/joel.kimball.5