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Staying a Virgin/how to explain it

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Question
Hello,
I'm 27, not a virgin, living in Europe and not a Christian. I just haven't had sex in the last 8-something years and I don't mean to do it again unless I'm in a committed relationship. If this means being an old spinster then be it. I'm upset at how people expect me to have sex with them so easily, there'll be the guy who sweeps me off my feet then it comes out all he wants is to get laid, even if most just go straight to the target and get a NO, come on some will just try to throw compliments at me to see if it works. Obviously it doesn't, I'm not that cheap.
Am I just free entertainment? There is more of me to get to know, not just sex, they'd be gone quickly if I gave up anyways...it's not like giving them what they want would make them stay.
I read you have wanted to save it for someone special, I do it more to save myself from disappointment but I refuse to have sex until I settle down in a real stable relationship, so guys don't get what they look for and they just leave. Yes I realize if things go like that they clearly are not the right one, but this is becoming frustrating, they'll hang around me a few weeks than leave. How did you keep on? Is this going to keep on until I meet Mr Special or there is any way to explain my reasons with Mr Not So Special and have a chance?

Answer
Jenna,

Well, in all honesty, my bio is a little out dated (I will have to update it). I have recently changed my mindset on this topic, and while it is by no means a wrong or bad mindset, I did not want it for myself. However, I do strongly encourage people who want to have this mindset to keep it.

From what you've said, you have already experienced the difficulties of this mindset, and with that you are probably debating just giving up on it (which you could)or trying to figure out someway to make it work. All I have to say on the matter is that you should do what YOU want. Think it trough. Do you want sex yourself? Do you have to be in a relationship to have sex? Do you want to wait to have the guy stick around long enough to "earn" it so you know he's worth your time? These are just a few questions (some you have probably already asked yourself) you can ask yourself. With those questions however, you should (judging by your writing) that you are determined to stick with this plan (which is great (either way)). If this really is the case, then I just strongly encourage you to keep at it. Don't change your mindset because of other people unless there are truly justifiable reasons (which I don't think there are in either sides of this mindset).

Like you said, there are tons of people out there (~7.1) and one of the is bound to be like you. Well, that's daunting. ONE person out of billions. The thing is, there are a lot of people out there with your mindset, and many of them are men. Chances are you will find them. Now, I'm sure that's not reassuring either, so I'll address your primary question.

One thing comes to mind when I think of persuading a man to wait for sex until later in the relationship. There was a recent movie called DON JON in the US (I don't know how movies flow between countries) and the main actress (Scarlett Johansson) keeps the main actor (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) at bay, and makes him wait for an extended period of time. In the movie she dies this by giving him very little at a time, until the point where she lets him inside her apartment. Going off of this movie, and just general thoughts on the matter, I think a good plan of attack would be to make your intentions clear. The first time it's clearly on his mind (generally while things are building up to that moment) make your intentions clear. Tell him you don't want to have sex YET. Yet is the key word here. By saying no, he's going to be completely discouraged and not stick around. In the movie, the idea behind this was that while he "waited" he had time to get to know her and really fall for her without sex. I personally think that this is a great idea as it still keeps the guy interested (and the spark of chemistry alive) it also keeps your wishes intact. To help this along, keep all dates outside each other's homes. Being inside, alone, makes it so much easier to start something, and get the guy agitated. In guys's minds as well, once they're "in" the apartment, they are on their way to being "in" you. It's just kind of how it goes. So with those methods I think you'll be fine.

So, make your intentions clear with whoever you date. Avoid any situation where sex is a possibility, and I think you'll find that guys aren't ALL about sex.

I hope this helps!
W><M

Staying a Virgin

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I can answer any type of question having to do with sex, remaining a virgin until you are ready and talking to your significant other about waiting for any advances in your relationship that you are not ready for. Anything including sex, oral sex, touching, and anything else pertaining to your relationship. I'm great with relationship advice as well. I also know a lot about both male and female "pleasure points". So please do not hesitate to ask me anything. This is my personal PHONE NUMBER: 480 630 3468. This is for text messaging for both your and my convenience. If you call, it won't go through. Thank you! Can't wait to help!

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I was once at a point in my life where I did not want to have sex, and wanted to save it for someone special. I have done that and would love to give you my advice and help you however I can.

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I am a student in college but I have gone through all the difficulties and trials of staying a virgin and I can not wait to help you through your struggles.

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