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Staying a Virgin/staying a virgin


I've always wanted to save myself for marriage but now that I have a boyfriend who's 4 years older than me(he's 20) I'm a bit confused.He's had sex with all his previous girlfriends and I wonder how long he'll stay with me if I don't do it.I don't to lose him but I also don't want to lose my virginity.I'm really torn,help!

Hello Keey (is that your last name?), VERY happy to help you.

You get my Virgin Goddess of the Month award for holding on until 16. Very cool! So far, so good, don't throw it all away right at the very end.

You sound really smart. So ask your self, if having sex will make this guy stay with you, why didn't that work for the previous girl friends? Do you have some thing more to offer than those other girls? You all have the same body, the same parts, so for him, sex with you will feel exactly the same as it did with the previous girls. So then... what's REALLY going to keep him around after you've given him your once in a life time gift? If you give that to him before you have a solid, life long, lasting commitment with him, he WILL leave you after wards. Why? Because you're actually rewarding him for NOT being loyal and faithful.

Keey, you're smarter than this. Don't give your virginity, your body away just because you're lonely and want love and this is the first guy to really pay attention to you. A life time of regret isn't worth a boy friend that only lasts a few months. You're worth more than that, you deserve a LIFE TIME of love, not just a guy who will tell you he loves you until he gets bored of sex with you - just like the other girls - and then leaves you.

Your virginity is gift, USE IT! Hold it in front of a guy and say, "If you want it, if you want ME, you're going to have to be a man and say so in front of God and a bunch of witnesses. Then I'll give you ALL of me, all my love, all the days of my life". If he then walks away, he was ALWAYS intending to walk away, and you just saved your self a lot of sorrow and regret. But if he stays...

So I'm curious -  WHY do you want to save your self for marriage? Religious (are you Christian, Muslim, or ?), cultural (are you Afrikaans, black, or ?), or just personal?

Staying a Virgin

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Joel Kimball


I'm good at listening, even better at giving advice.

Virginity does matter! And no sex before marriage is possible, regardless of what your friends, family, or (worst of all) society tell you. It's a choice, like any thing else in life. Not an easy one, so that's why I'm here to help.

I'm happy to answer your questions:
- WHY you should stay a virgin until marriage
- HOW you can stay a virgin until marriage
- HOW to deal with boy or girl friends pushing you to engage in sex
- HOW to deal with friends who push you to engage in sex
- HOW to deal with a family who won't support you in your choice of abstinence


If you want to know about some thing, you ask an expert, right? If you're climbing a dangerous mountain, whom would you ask for help - another climber that's struggling up hill like you? Or the fella who's been to the top, and lived to tell about it?

I'd be the latter.

As to sex before marriage, "Been there, HAVEN'T done that".

Eagle Scout - Boy Scouts of America
Fire Fighter - Whitman County Fire District 1 - Washington State

I have several years experience owning and managing two businesses - an Internet Access Provider ( and a Commercial Art Studio ( Every day I'm forced to make difficult decisions that will affect my life for years to come - just like the decision to not have sex before marriage will affect you.

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