AboutKathleen Nickerson, PhD Expertise Do you feel like your partner is pulling away or pushing you away? Feel invisible, unappreciated, unloved, and neglected? It doesn't have to be this way and I'd love to help you. As an expert in working with couples who want to strengthen and repair their relationships, I've worked with many people who feel just the way you do. I understand how painful and hurtful these situations can be; it would be my honor to assist you. I am a licensed clinical psychologist with special training in couples counseling.
Experience I am a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping couples strengthen and repair their relationships. I love what I do because I love love - I am eternally optimistic about relationships and believe that any marriage can be made better.
Organizations American Psychological Association
Orange County Psychological Association
University of California IRB
Orange County Mental Health Board
Founder, Mental Health Advisory Board, OH, Inc.
Publications I love to share my knowledge with others and in recent years, I have had the privilege of speaking at more than 150 local and national conferences and training programs. I have also been a featured guest on numerous local radio and television programs. In addition to speaking, I enjoy writing and have written over 75 professional publications. My first book, Speaking Up: How to Get Help for Children Living in Abusive Homes, is used as a textbook for teachers and provides a comprehensive overview of child abuse reporting. I collaborated with colleagues to write Save the Date, a curriculum for the United States Department of Justice for teens on developing healthy dating relationships. I am currently at work on two new books to be released later this year: It's All In Your Head: Secrets To Staying Happy and Healthy & Divorcing Your Inner Fat Girl: The Smart Woman's Guide To Emotional Health After Weight Loss.
Education/Credentials PhD - Clinical Psychology, Capella University
MA - Developmental Psychology, Capella University
B - Chemistry, University of California, Irvine
Awards and Honors Please see my website for a complete bio: www.drkathynickerson.com
Question hello, my girlfriend has issues with PDA she says that we will work throught it but i am seeking helpful tips and advice. she doesnt like to kiss/make-out very much in public, she occasionally gives a little french kiss but usually just a kiss on the cheek, with a hug.
we both dont really care what people think that much about how we two are but she still is a little nervous and timid.....any advice on how we could work through this?????
Answer Hi Duggie. Thanks for your question. You wrote that your girlfriend is a little nervous and timid about PDA, you also said that "we don't really care much about what people think." I have to tell you, I am not so sure. My hunch is that you are far more comfortable with letting others opinions pass you by, while she might be pretty uncomfortable with what judgments she's supposing people are making about your PDA sessions.
So I'd suggest you talk with her a bit about this and ask for her to explain more about how she feels. You might start by saying, "Honey, help me out here, you say you don't care about what other people think, but whenever I try to kiss you in public, you pull away. Help me understand, why?"
You might also ask her what she's worried about or what she's afraid of. Usually people shy away from doing things that make them uncomfortable, so we just need to figure out why PDA makes her feel uncomfortable.
Also, I think we should talk about what kinds of PDA you're talking about. If your talking about a kiss in the movies or a warm embrace on a cold day when you're out for a walk, that sounds great. If, on the other hand, you're hoping she'll be up for a semi-naked frolic in the fountain or rolling around in the grass at the park...I am not so sure that would be appropriate. So with this and all things, we need a little more information.
At the end of the day, you both need to feel comfortable and loved. Please chat about how that can be achieved; it might be that you end up meeting somewhere in the middle. Hope this helps.
