AboutKindred Beisinger Expertise I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.
Experience I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.
Question Hi there. Ive been with my amazing boyfriend for almost a year now. we have talked about our future and how we want to spend it together. we have talked about not having kids (something he feels right now is best) and being commited for life but not married as it is very expensive. Lately, he has been acting like his friend i cannot stand and is a very bad person. Last night he flaked off, which isnt often anymore, least since we've been serious which is the last 7 mths of our relationship. He told me hed be home in a couple hours and when I woke up he still wasnt home at midnight and I called and he freaked out on me for "acting like his mom" and asking him if he could come home so i could spend some time with him cause i work this evening and yesterday was my day off and he was gone all day. He freaked out and it resulted in me packing my things and starting to walk home before he got there to drive me and him following me till my father picked me up. He wanted me to be safe. So when I finally got ahold of him at 5am, when he actually got home, he said there was no chance i could get back with him cause i left him one too many times. then before the conversation was over he was calling me babe again and told me to call him when i come home from work tonight so we can talk cause he needed to cool down. My question is, if he wants to cut this guy out of our life so we can live a happy one, why is he letting this all fall apart and sending mixed messages and what is it that I can do to fix this. Im sure i over reacted last night and i shouldnt have left. please help me!
Answer Dear Krista,
I have no idea how old you and this guy are, but I will tell you two things that pretty much transcend time and age. A man that talks about forever, but no marriage, and no children is not willing or ready to make a commitment. PERIOD. Some people don't want to bring children into this world or can't, but that doesn't stop them from making a religious or legal commitment. "Married" is not very expensive. Weddings can be, but a marriage license is $50.00 and preachers and judges perform these ceremonies frequently for around $100.00 or less. After that, marriage is the same expense as room mates or living together or any other situation that involves two people.
It simply sounds to me like this guy has you convinced he's wonderful and he's going to convince you that he should make all the rules and you should go along.
I wish you well.
Kind Regards,
Kindred
www.eingedi.us
