AboutTodd Expertise I can answer most questions regarding love, relationships, intimacy issues, making love last, communication skills, developing trust, and enjoying time with your sweetie.
Experience I think you would find my answers different than most as I see a relationship as a spiritual path. I enjoy what a relationship can bring to my life and how time with my partner has changed the way I look at the world. I've been a counselor and personal coach for for over 23 years and have had the opportunity to help various people with their relationship(s).
Expert: Todd Date: 6/10/2008 Subject: My gf is bored with me. What do I do
Question My gf and I have been daring for 3 months and she says we spend to much
time together and when we are together we never do anything and she's
bored. She says she's bored of me. How do I stop this. I arrange dates
where we go to joplin and eat and hang out like once a month. And she's just
said that we dont know what love is and I asked her if she wanted to stop
saying it ad she said idk and I said well we wont say it untill u know. Idk
what's happening. I dont want to lose her
Answer Hi there,
Thanks so much for this question - it tells me you really want to move past where you are.
I don't know your entire situation, but I'd guess that your girlfriend doesn't want to be in the relationship any more. You seem very attentive and interested, in fact, I'd say you sound like the perfect sweetie, while from what you say your girlfriend seems checked out.
I don't know if there's anything you can do, and frankly I don't think her boredom is a reflection of you, rather, it says a lot about her and her lack of interest in pursuing a relationship.
If she's bored of you then it would seem to me that perhaps she's not used to a guy that treats her well. This isn't permission to treat her harshly, rather, I sense that you attracted someone that's either pretty young emotionally or just don't know how to be in a relationship. At three months both of you should infatuated with each other, however, it sounds like your GF is looking for the exit.
Perhaps you can tell her that you feel like you're losing her and that you sense she is planning her exit. If she is committed to the relationship, perhaps she'd be willing to see a couples therapist with you for a few sessions to see if you can't find a way to navigate this difficult time.
Whatever you do, please remember that her leaving isn't a reflection of you..you sound very engaged..I sense that you're a great partner/boyfriend and want to find a way to ignite the attentions of your sweetie. It is unfortunate, however, that she is not willing to put in the effort..
You are always welcome to let me know how it works out.
Todd
