AboutKindred Beisinger Expertise I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.
Experience I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.
Question Ok its kindof a weird odd story. My boyfriend and myself have been dating/living together for almost two years now. We moved into a seriouse realationship very fast, we both had just gotten out of seriouse relationships but both are the kindof people who are with people for a very very long time. Alittle bit of background he came from an abusive background and his father watched alot of porn which I think he things is normale now b/c he grew up around it and looks at it online often, behind my back though I just find out. So heres the problems we are having, first we only have sex 2-4 times a month and its nevery very exciting same think and there is no passion at all no kissing or anything and I beleive it has to do with the fact he looks at porn but he will deny it and says he dosnt really look at it that much. My biggest problem is I dont feel ANY passion in the relationship some times I think we just moved in to a realationship so fast and now hes just in it and we live together and he doesnt really want to be with me 100 percent for sure like I think I am def. more into the realationship, he never ever gets jealouse no matter what, he tells me to have girls nights. We dont cuddle at night time he says I make him hot.. It feels like im just living w/ this guy and there is no closeness I feel like he could walk away and not care, I think in his past realationship he was really in love and did so much for her and I just dont feel that from him at all. We dont really cuddle he dosnt really call me or check on me or show affection when were out w/ others really like others guy like to show this is mine hes not like that. What should I do, the thing is I KNOW for a fact he would never ever ever cheat hes not that kindof guy but I feel like its just easy to stay w/ me and maybe he will meet some one else more his "style" punkish and leave me. Am I reading to much into things? What should I do?
Answer Dear Erin,
You cannot change another human being. To answer your question. What you should do is decide what you need in a relationship and then either determine if this is the right relationship or talk to him about what you have decided and go from there. But you must remember, if he's comfortable with things the way they are, that's who he is and there will not be any lasting change, if that's what you feel you need.
As far as the possibility of you reading too much into it, that can happen, but you still need to be satisfied and content in the relationship and if you aren't, you need to make a decision. If you aren't married and you know he's capable of passion, but not with you, then this may just not be the right relationship for either of you. Think it over, then once you know what you need and want, calmly talk it over, and go from there.
I wish you well.
Kind Regards,
Kindred
www.eingedi.us
