AboutLeon Scott Baxter Expertise I can answer questions about keeping love in committed relationships alive and fresh. I am
not the guy to go to if you're having marital problems or if you want to know how to meet
someone. (I've never been good at opening lines.)
I am dedicated to keeping the romance fires burning even after the embers of a new
relationship turn cold. Let me help you find ways to be excited about each other and your
relationship again.
Experience I have written two books, Out of the Doghouse , and A Labor With Love, to help keep romance alive in relationships. I give romance advice locally on radio have a regular newspaper column on relationships. I host a website, CouplesCommittedToLove.com, where I offer advice and give daily romance tips. I also have hosted the seminars, "Romance 101" and "The Valentine Prep Course".
Publications Santa Barbara Independent Magazine, MenStuff.com, SBParent.com, The Goleta Valley Voice, EducationNews.org
Education/Credentials Bachelor's Degree from the University of California, Santa Barbara, as well as a teaching credential.
Awards and Honors KLITE Community Hero and Ben & Jerry's Citizen Cool for my work with children and their focus on academic and personal improvement.
Listed in Who's Who in America. Name was placed on the National Wall of Tolerance for taking a stand against hate, injustice and intolerance.
In high school, voted "Most Likely To Host Saturday Night Live by 1999". Unfortunately, Lorne Michaels never called.
Expert: Leon Scott Baxter Date: 7/2/2008 Subject: Girlfriend says she loves me?
Question I was asked out by this great girl 4 months ago. She says she loves me and thinks I'm a great guy...but wants to cool things off for a while? Thought we had developed a strong bond. I asked her point blank if she was dumping me, she says no, just wanted to cool things off..She hasn't called in over a week or answered my invite for her and her daughter to go see fireworks with me on the 4th. What gives?
Answer Hello Dave,
It's very hard in a relationship when both people are looking at things from different points of view. From your vantage, you have found a person who you love and who appears to feel the same about you. That means, in your eyes, let's spend more time with one another and build this relationship even more. Why would she want to cool things off of things are going so great?
Of course, I don't know what's going through her head, but she could very well be in a similar boat, just taking a bit of a detour. She may feel she's met a great guy who she's fallen in love with and who loves her. Things have progressed quickly and she wants to be sure that this is love, not infatuations. When she's around you, maybe she feels like her emotions take over and she's not thinking clearly. Could be, she's testing herself, giving herself a break from you, to see how she feels when she's not in touch with you.
Could be that falling in love so quickly has freightened her, and she wants to assess her feelings and give this some time.
If she was dumping you, she probably would have admitted it. It sounds like there were no signs pointing to the fact that something has caused a riff between you two. So, just give her a little space. Maybe send her a quick text or email one more time about the fireworks saying something like, "If I don't hear from you by ____, I'll just assume that you can't make it."
Then, wait a couple days. If you don't hear from her, drop her another message and say, "Hey, I'd love to talk with you. Give me a call by Wednesday (or whenever you choose)."" If she still doesn't return you call, you may have something to be concerned about.
