AboutKindred Beisinger Expertise I am able to answer questions regarding dating, courtship, and marriage after divorce. I feel equipped to address questions and comments regarding old baggage and past mistakes. I can also answer questions pertaining to blended families and step-children. I can not answer questions that involve manipulating the partners behavior or outlook.
Experience I am a minister that teaches and counsels G-d's instruction for stable relationships. My husband and I have both been married before. I have worked with battered women and facilitated groups for men with anger issues. As a minister, I have officiated several weddings in the past decade, with only one resulting in divorce.
Expert: Kindred Beisinger Date: 8/23/2008 Subject: i'm ready for marriage after 7 years
Question hi, i have been in a relationship w/my boyfriend for 7 years & we have 3 sons. for the last 5 years i have told him that i am ready for us to move forward with our relationship, engagement, then marriage. as each year passes he keeps telling me the next will be our year. and as each year passes i see more and more friends and family taking that natural step towards committing their lives to one another. the more i see that, the more resentful i get towards him. how do i get him to see that marriage can be wonderful and not a curse? by the way i am 32 and he is 31.
Answer Dear Sienna,
I don't think he plans to get married. If you have 3 sons together, already and he keeps postponing the nuptuals, I don't think you should count on anything changing. Of course, you are getting more resentful. You've made a lifetime commitment and he won't. I realize the "order" of things have changed in the last couple of generations, but that hasn't changed the hearts of people. Women want a secure home in which to raise children and men still aren't sure about commitment, but like having a woman in their life. That has never changed, it's just that our society has. A man can have a full time woman, kids, without worrying about insurance and hospitalization [not all men, but many], even make major purchases without ever having to make the commitment of marriage. Unfortunately, the women just keep thinking, one more thing, one more event, one more baby and that will make the difference for him.
I'm sorry, but I think he likes things just the way they are.
Now, you have to determine whether you actually need them different and what limit you have or if you can make peace with the way things are.
Only you can make that decision for you and your sons.
Kind Regards,
Kindred
www.eingedi.us
