AboutKathleen Nickerson, PhD Expertise Do you feel like your partner is pulling away or pushing you away? Feel invisible, unappreciated, unloved, and neglected? It doesn't have to be this way and I'd love to help you. As an expert in working with couples who want to strengthen and repair their relationships, I've worked with many people who feel just the way you do. I understand how painful and hurtful these situations can be; it would be my honor to assist you. I am a licensed clinical psychologist with special training in couples counseling.
Experience I am a licensed clinical psychologist who specializes in helping couples strengthen and repair their relationships. I love what I do because I love love - I am eternally optimistic about relationships and believe that any marriage can be made better.
Organizations American Psychological Association
Orange County Psychological Association
University of California IRB
Orange County Mental Health Board
Founder, Mental Health Advisory Board, OH, Inc.
Publications I love to share my knowledge with others and in recent years, I have had the privilege of speaking at more than 150 local and national conferences and training programs. I have also been a featured guest on numerous local radio and television programs. In addition to speaking, I enjoy writing and have written over 75 professional publications. My first book, Speaking Up: How to Get Help for Children Living in Abusive Homes, is used as a textbook for teachers and provides a comprehensive overview of child abuse reporting. I collaborated with colleagues to write Save the Date, a curriculum for the United States Department of Justice for teens on developing healthy dating relationships. I am currently at work on two new books to be released later this year: It's All In Your Head: Secrets To Staying Happy and Healthy & Divorcing Your Inner Fat Girl: The Smart Woman's Guide To Emotional Health After Weight Loss.
Education/Credentials PhD - Clinical Psychology, Capella University
MA - Developmental Psychology, Capella University
B - Chemistry, University of California, Irvine
Awards and Honors Please see my website for a complete bio: www.drkathynickerson.com
Question my girlfriend and i have been together for about 2 and a half years. and 2 days ago she was over my moms house and my mom told her about some bills that i had to pay and for some reason i just lost it i got pissed off and stated to yell at my mom and my girlfriend and to make a long story short i got mad for nothing because my girlfriend saed she wasn't mad she was just trying to find out how to pay the bills. ok this is the kicker. my girlfriend was mad a it me for yelling at my mom and her and told me that i loose my temper for no reason all the time like that witch i do and i don't know why. but i do. and now she thinks this is how its going to be if we get married.I need help. I don't know what to do. i get mad for no reason i want to learn to be more calm with my girlfriend so i can keep her how do i do this ?? any ideas.
and how do i ignight the fire in out relationship agn ??
Answer Hi Michael. Thank you for your question; I am sorry this has been such a rough time for you.
The first step to changing any behavior is to figure out what the problem is.
You wrote that you got mad at your Mom and your girlfriend for nothing, but my hunch is that's not true...there probably was a reason, something that was a trigger, something that set you off. Can you think back on it and remember how you were feeling? Can you think of anything that triggered you?
Once you start thinking about it, maybe you can also remember what you were thinking. Try to go back and remember....maybe it went something like this....
"Mom said she needed money....I felt bad, like I'd screwed up again....then my girlfriend said "How much does he owe?" and I felt even worse and got angry because_______________________."
So after you've thought about it, write me back and let's talk a little more about how you were feeling and how to deal with it.
